Because Of You
by Lynnth2014
Summary: We can all agree that high school mostly sucks, but with the right friends and a loyal sister by your side, it's not so bad. It's not the best years of your life like people make it out to be, but it's not awful. Love, acceptance, truth, hatred, enemies, rumors, tears, and hey, that's just the first day. Welcome to high school. The first day of the rest of your life.
1. First Day Again

_**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**_

– – –

Carol hugged her new binder to her chest, her backpack fitted firmly against her spine, and she inhaled deeply, nearly sucking in an auburn curl that dangled inchs from her lips. She shook her head, feeling the clip holding most of her hair back tug, and she whined softly, trying to shake the anxious feeling out of her gut. She hated the first day of school with probably an unholy passion. It was always the worst. Especially when your mom was now your homeroom teacher! God, at least she didn't have to endure that alone. That was the only plus.

"Carol." Andrea flagged her down and tackled her. "I haven't seen you all summer!"

She laughed at her best friend's energy and hugged her back with one arm. "You did too see me."

"Yeah, but we're not supposed to talk about that night." She grinned. "You look so cute."

She blushed. "Shut up."

"You do. You finally figured out how to style your hair. It only took...pfff, ten years?"

"Eleven." Michonne joined the girls. "It took eleven."

"Assholes." She rolled her eyes. "My mom helped me with it."

"Ah, yes. Your mom." Andrea nodded. "I get it now, and you've lost points. I'm no longer impressed."

"I wasn't trying to impress you. Come down from the _Monster_ high, all right? We talked about this." Carol started to walk down the hall when Michonne stopped her. "What? I have to get to homeroom."

"The first bell hasn't even rung yet, and I want to know your schedule." She held her hand out. "I have Williams and Williams with Andrea, what do I have with you?"

She turned her binder around and held it out. "We have Williams together too. Sasha, anyway. I have physical education as my first."

"Cool, we also have Douglas together. Oh, and Horvath." She smiled. "I have classes with both my friends. This semester might not be total hell."

"Yeah, but we have Williams." Andrea reminded her. "She'll work us to the bone in P.E. She makes the old coach look like a soggy waffle. She has a six pack."

"How do you know this?" Michonne handed Carol her binder back.

She shrugged. "I listen?"

"Right." She smirked at her and turned to Carol. "I'll meet you guys in first. I have to grab something to eat. I'm thinking Poptarts." She scurried off to fight fellow students for the last cinnamon brown sugar Poptart.

"I already ate." Andrea walked beside Carol. "Dad and Ames are quite the cooks."

"Did the rich girl enjoy her caviar and boiled goose eggs?" Carol teased.

"Ew." She sent her a glare. "And no. Toast and normal eggs with bacon and pancakes. Nothing fancy there, and don't call me that."

"Well, sorry. I had Fruit Loops." She pushed her index finger over the spine of her binder. "Look, Andrea..."

"We said we wouldn't talk about it, and we're not." She met her eyes. "It was a stupid teenager thing, okay? We'll laugh about when we're older. For now, I have to track down my homeroom. They changed me to Greene."

And just like that Carol was left alone in the hallway. She shuffled her feet and headed to her homeroom. No one else should be there yet, and she wanted to talk to her mom. She wondered if she could still go home. Dad was at home. At least for another hour then he had to leave for work. She could fake sick, and nobody would care. Well, her parents would care, but nobody here. Michonne had other people to hang out with for second and fourth. Or she could find some.

"Hey, why the long face?"

She looked up to find her sister outside their mom's class room. "I don't have...a long face."

"And I'm not adopted."

"Lori."

"What?" She laughed. "Dude, calm down and sit. Mom's having a word with Ty."

"About what?" She sat down beside her.

"I dunno. How French and Marketing have nothing in common." She set her purse on her lap and studied her. "Did you eat this morning?"

"No." She couldn't swallow anything. Her stomach was a massive knot. Though if she told Andrea that, she'd haul her down to the cafeteria and force her to eat. She was against skipping meals since her baby sister battled (and still continues to battle) it out with anorexia. "I'll eat at lunch."

"You'd better. I don't have first lunch, but Andrea does. Michonne might. I don't know."

She rested her hand in her palm. "I'm so tired, and it's not even close to the end of the day."

"The school year has began," Lori teased. "Get used to it."

"Easy for you to say. People are nice to you," she muttered that last part, not wanting to worry her. She could handle a few bullies. Paula might find a new target, or a sense of humanity and cut the bullying part out of herself. That might be too much to ask for, but it might happen. She had lost her braces before this year started, and the acne had cleared up too, so sophomore years was looking up thus far. Day one of the next ten months of her life.

"You know you can transfer?" She peered at her sister. "Become an office aid like me. We can do errands and just chill out fourth period."

"No, I can only do it once. I'm gonna save it for senior year." She pulled her legs in. "You should've too."

"I'm not one to wait." She leaned towards her. "Which is why I'm gonna go for him this year."

"What? Who?"

"Rick." Her eyes widened and screeched _duh!_ at Carol. "Who else? Shane? Caesar? Or that Dixon kid?"

"Yeah, don't go with the "bad boys"."

"Did you just say that?" She laughed. "Have you met them? Shane is as bad and dangerous as a butter knife."

"He's on the football team. Or he's gonna try out for it." She picked at the sleeve to her cardigan, peeking at her sister. "So is Caesar."

"Ae you gonna try out for cheer?" She stretched her legs out, and Carol vigorously shook her head no beside her. "Why not? You have the hips to hold up that skirt."

"I do not!" She blushed. "I—I don't even want to be a cheerleader anymore, and—and when I did, I was six!"

"I still think you'd be good at it." She tucked hair behind her ear. "Michonne's trying out for dance."

"Really?"

She nodded. "So is Andrea. I think they'll make it. Mom's the coach, so their kind of grandfathered in, you know?"

"Yeah, and Michonne's really good. She always upstages us at parties. Not—not, like, intentionally. She just...can't hold back, and we suck." She laughed, somewhat self-deprecatingly.

"You didn't suck at Tobin's end of school bash." Her eyes sliced over to Carol's, and Carol visibly tensed. "At least not at dancing."

"I didn't—"

"You drank so much, I thought you were going to get alcohol poisoning and die. Carol, we had to carry you to the car the next morning. We couldn't even find you the night of the party! Hell, you weren't even there..." She lowered her voice. "I couldn't lecture you when it happened, or after 'cause we had to get summer jobs "to build character", and our hours conflicted, but I am now."

"It won't happen again," she vowed. "I—I just didn't want to be a...a loser or a spaz, so I drank. The wine coolers tasted really good."

"Carol."

"I'm sorry." She averted her eyes to the white and green tilted floor. "It won't happen again. I promise."

"Good, because you're heavy to lift. You were like a jellyfish, all blaahh." She slumped over Carol to cheer her up, and Carol giggled. "Don't take it so seriously, kid." She didn't why Carol was half passed out on the sidewalk outside Tobin's house, but they found her and got her home. Lori just hoped nothing had happened to her prior to them finding her. She was all puffy eyed and pale. It might have been the drinking, or it might have be something else. Something worse, but honestly who could say? Carol didn't talk about the party. She might as well have not been there.

"I'll try." She smiled.

"Am I interrupting?" Karen stood in the doorway with Tyreese behind her. "Or is Lori dying?"

"Gee, thanks for the concern, Mom." Lori stood up.

"I'm full of concern. Like why you're wearing that sweater. Yellow isn't a good color for you." She tugged on the hem of the knitted yellow sweater her daughter wore.

"I'll take this as my excuse to leave." Tyreese smiled at the girls. "I'll see you in class, Miss Callies."

"Oui," Lori replied, "Je... I'm looking forward to it."

He laughed.

"What? I'm still level one on Rosetta Stone," she mused with a smile. "I only know how to say Je, which is I, and...yes, but everyone knows how to say yes in French."

"That is true, but hopefully by the end of the year, you'll be able to say I'm looking forward to it."

"Me too, sir."

"I'll see you later, Karen." He walked off towards the teacher's lounge to try and swipe some free coffee.

Karen showed them inside, gesturing to her vacant desk. "See? No embarrassing photos of either of you. Are you happy?"

"Very." Lori sat on a desk, her feet propped up on the seat. "The baby pictures weren't cute, Mom. And the middle school ones? You pretty much picked every shot where my acne was raging. I looked like a tomato. A flat-chested tomato."

"What's changed?" Karen mused.

Lori laughed once. "Mom!"

"What? The only reason you own a bra is because your dad made us buy you one."

Carol snorted and set her binder on the desk behind Lori, who sent her a glare. "What?"

"Don't worry about it. You're a late bloomer." Karen put her hands on her hips. "It's probably something you get from your father."

"Really?" Lori turned on the desk. "You never talk about my father."

"And I'm not." She turned away to face the whiteboard. "Get off the desk, Lori."

"Why?"

The bell rang them, Lori slipped off the desk immediately, and thus began the flood of students rushing to get to homeroom. Well, the ones that actually care about being on time. The stragglers would come in just after the last bell, and then that ones who honestly didn't give a shit weren't in school. They were committed to skipping. Like a certain character who Carol hoped and prayed skipped school today. He was the last person in the entire world she wanted to see today. Please, please let him skip!

Phillip Blake entered the room, rubbing jaw and scanning the room for his friends, and his eyes landed on Carol and Lori. He smirked at the sight of them and ambled to his desk, nodding to his friends.

The second bell rang, and Blake to Dylan had filled the seats, save for a few who had skipped, and Carol released her breath, though it seemed only in sound. An air bubble had settled in her chest. She chose to ignore it and pulled a pen out of her binder, in case they had to sign a seating arrangement or whatever Mom—er, Ms. Callies pulled out of her hat. When Mom was at her desk, she was straight up their teacher, nothing more, nothing less.

"All right." Karen stood at the podium, running her eyes over the students who filled in the seats, seeing at least four that were missing. Two weren't a surprise, one had been pulled out last minute due to them shaving down the D last names, and one had transferred last week. They had yet to update the roster. She crossed their name off the list and began to call attendance.

As she neared the end of the Cs one of the students who wasn't a surprise to been missing showed up. He slipped into one of the back seats without a word, blonde hairs blocking his vision, his chin resting on his knuckles as he looked uninterested in the world around him. She was stunned he'd made the effort to even come to homeroom. He likely got caught in the halls and was slapped with a warning. She would have to thank Tomas for that.

"I'm glad you decided to join us," Karen called him out, "and next time I expect you to have a note from the office explaining why you're tarty."

He said nothing.

Karen didn't bother to push. It was the first day back. She would be able to pick a fight with him later on in the year, probably tomorrow. She would lay off the first week, but if it continued, she would take action. He was already on thin ice as it was, and this school year had just begun. They were barely an hour into this school year, and he already had an attitude. If he kept it up, she'd give him a reason to have an attitude.

The bell dismissed them for first, Lori spun around in her seat to ask Carol if she wanted to swing by the snack machines for a much needed Kit-Kat, but Carol was gone. She blinked and saw her rushing out the door towards first period. She frowned and wondered who lit a fire under her ass today. She never rushed to P.E. Hell, people rushed away from physical education, but never towards it, save for jocks. Even then it was mostly for show or the hot gym teacher. Geez.

As she shouldered her purse, she caught Phillip chuckling and motioning to Carol's vacant seat. She almost approached him, but her first was with Douglas, and he was across the building. She would have to weave through bodies and fight with freshmen who didn't know the halls yet, and she would deal with that assmunch later. They likely shared a class, because they always did. It was a joke with no punchline. Eleven years of schooling, with Phillip right there in one of her classes every year. If there was a punch line, it better be fucking brilliant. Until then...American At War was calling.

– –

Carol sat in the back of the class with Andrea and Michonne, shrinking into the desk, trying to catch her breath, and she buried her face in her hands, trying to shake herself out of this mood. They weren't going to talk about it. She wasn't going to think about it. It was a stupid party, and it couldn't haunt her. Phillip could go choke. Asshole.

"You okay?" Michonne studied the curly-haired ginger.

"Just tired." She forced a smile and crossed her arms. "Ms. Callies lectures."

"She really does." Andrea smoothed on some lip balm. "But she's a great teacher. I'm taking her Marketing class next semester. And the others next year."

Michonne smiled at her enthusiasm. "Maybe I should give her class a shot then. I haven't heard you this interested in a course since...uh, first grade."

"I resent that." She was smiling back at her, though. "It's true, but I resent it."

All of a sudden music began to fill the room, everyone looked around for someone with their phone out, but no one did. It was an upbeat song, very fast paced, but it felt kinda old. They were confused why it was playing when out of nowhere appeared Sasha. She was holding the door open with a slight smile.

"Come on, guys, let's go the gym."

Then it fell into place as the chorus began to play: _I'm just running in the 90's. Come on baby run to me. We are running in the 90s. It's a new way to set me free._

And here began the physical part of physical education. They ran laps around the gym, she was timing them, and she made the stragglers pick up the pace. Carol was one of the stragglers along with two other girls and two boys. It was really quiet sad. She used to play sports, but if she told anyone, they'd claim playing laser tag with your dad on the weekend wasn't a sport. They didn't know how intense it got when they hit the course. They were jumping and dodging, like the laser was a damn bullet to them, so they made sure they weren't gonna get hit. And by that logic when they did get it, it became this big dramatic thing. They'd done it since she was seven. Dad kept it a tradition.

"All right." She rounded them up on the bleachers. "Well, for starters you should all be proud of yourselves. None of you passed out, and you all look awake now. I'm proud of you."

"Whoo," dryly came from Tobin.

Sasha chuckled. "Yes, whoo. Now, let me explain this little jog you all performed. It wasn't for my amusement." Though watching these teenagers trying to husle around a gym or just gather the energy this early in the morning was pretty funny.

"What was it for then?" Paula—Carol's arch-nemesis—asked. "To get the blood pumping?"

"I can think of a few ways to do that," Phillip commented with a smirk.

"And you'd better keep them to yourself," Sasha retorted, a sharp glare flashing in her eyes before fading as she now addressed the class as a whole. "No, it was to test your physique. Some of you are in great shape, and...some of you could use some improvement."

Carol knew which category she fit into. She rested her chin on her knuckles and blew out a soft sight. She felt someone's eyes on her, and she tried to ignore it, but she was curious. She looked over and saw the kid who'd she hoped would skip. She instantly looked away and focused on the coach.

"That's why I'm partnering you up."

"Do we get to choose our partners?" Shane inquired, leaning toward his buddy Martinez.

"No, you'd only pick your friend, and nobody would improve." She cleared her throat. "When I call your name, come stand on the blue line, okay? And don't be nervous. This is just your partner for the rest of this semester, and their participation and effort affects your grade as well."

Carol gulped. Please don't let her be partnered with Paula. Please don't let her be partnered with Paula. Please don't let her be partnered with Paula. _Please don't let me be partnered with Paula._ She crossed her fingers in her lap and prayed. Please, God, please.

"...Michonne Gurira."

"Wish me luck," she uttered to her friends before hoping up to take her place next to Shane.

"All right." Sasha walked the length of the line she'd created. "For those still on the bench, I want you to look at your mentors for the next eighteen weeks. You'll be assigned one of them. What this means is you'll help each other with homework. You'll work together in the weight room and out on the field. You'll be partners in every sense of the word. One of you falls behind, you both fall behind. If I feel your partner is intentionally ragging you down, I will drop only their grade. I will not change your partner unless the circumstances are extreme. Understood?"

Some nodded, some verbalized their understanding.

"Good, now let's introduce you to your partner." She crossed something off her clipboard. "Andrea Harrison, come on down."

"Oh, yeah, I'm first." It was a dry murmur to Carol, who snickered softly through her nose, and she pushed herself up and trotted down the bleachers. _Whatever happened to alphabetical order?_

"You will be working with Shane. You two have a similar personality. I think you'll do well together."

She nodded and joined him, smiling. _Perhaps it won't be so bad._ She low-fived him so coach wouldn't see.

"Tobin Garret, you'll be with Paula. I think you'll balance each other." She continued down the list, Carol's grip on the bleachers only tightened as she worked her way through the names of the students still on the bleachers and finally came her name. She was panting, her heart pounding, and she felt physically ill. All great signs, rights? "Carol Callies, come on down."

She whimpered and climbed down the stairs, trying to hide her shaking knees. "Yeah?"

"You're with Michonne."

"Oh, thank God." She exhaled.

"Don't seem so excited. Michonne's my star pupil. I expect you to keep up." She sent her a wink though, and Carol nodded, joining her friend with a wide smile. "Daryl Dixon?"

Carol turned to the last student on the bleachers, clad in black jeans, a grey tee and leather jacket, and she swallowed, knotting her hands together.

"You and—"

"She's the only one left," he interrupted her. "Kinda don't see a point in you tellin' me."

"Actually, Daryl, I'm not putting you with anyone."

"What?" He scoffed. "That's balanced."

"You don't need a partner." She held put her clipboard. "You and Maggie will be in charge of grading. What I don't see, you two will. I expect honesty, and if you fail me, you'll be put through the most brutal exercise I can think of that is allowed by the school board. That goes for both of you."

He stood up and accepted the clipboard. "Why me?"

"Because I know you're quite athletic already—quiet, Phillip," she hissed before he could comment. "You and Maggie both competed in the summer tournament, both got the gold in your respective categories, so I know what you're capable of. But if either of you do need help with assignments, please lean on each other."

"Only action goth boy's gonna get," Phillip snorted.

"Blake, give me twenty around the gym, and the rest of you can watch." Sasha crossed her arms. "We have twenty minutes left, so you'd better hurry. I can keep you over if I have to."

"You gotta be shitting me—"

"That's thirty. Keep it up."

He scoffed. "Does she have to do them too?" He pointed to his partner Jeanette. "She's my partner."

"The partnerships don't kick in until tomorrow." She smiled sweetly. "Now go."

He scoffed again but complied, knowing she'd run him into the ground if she wanted. "Bitch," he whispered as he hurried to finish up these laps.

"Okay, if anyone has any questions or concerns, please come and find me. Or ask me now." Sasha announced. "I like my free period, so please try not to bother me then."

Carol chuckled and looked at Michonne. "I'm so glad I'm with you."

"Me too. I thought I'd get Phillip or worse—Tobin."

"What's so bad about Tobin? He's sweet."

She set a hand on her shoulder. "Carol, honey, he's one tall glass of boring. Sweet, yes. Boring? On a level you cannot understand. He talked to me once, and I hope he doesn't repeat it."

"Oh, come on. We had study hall together last year. He lent me pens all the time."

"You didn't actually talk, though, right?"

"No." She shook her head. "Mr. Monroe doesn't allow talking, only studying."

"Be grateful for that."

"You're so mean."

"I'm honest."

"The truth can hurt."

"And it can also set you free."

She rolled her eyes but laughed. "You're a dork."

"We're both dorks now. P.E. dorks."

"You're going to kill me, aren't you?"

"Probably." She nodded.

"Whoo." She pumped a fist weakly and unenthusiastically.

"I'll say whoo." She whirled around and cupped her hands together. "Move it, Blake! We don't have all day to finish the first lap!"

He glowered at her, but he didn't dare speak least Williams load him with more laps.

Carol giggled. "He's gonna get you for that."

"He'll try." She nudged her. "Let's go find Andrea and Shane and see if we're gonna stop by the snack machine at break."

"I could use a Kit-Kat." The anxiety of waiting to be called on nearly killed her after all.

– – –

Horvath's America At War began with assigned seats, Carol was nowhere near Andrea or Michonne, who were just about right behind each other, and she found herself in the back of the class with Daryl Dixon on one side of her and Phillip Blake on the other. She didn't know how in hell that'd happened, but she suddenly wanted to go back and take her mother's maiden name. Or hell, anyone else's that didn't begin with C!

She swallowed and glued her vision to the syllabus passed back to her, rubbing the back of her neck with her fingertips. It wasn't relaxing her at all, and she felt like throwing up. She was trapped between the two worst people in the world to be trapped between. The sexist pig and the broody mute. How was she going to survive the next eighteen or so weeks like this?

"Carol?" Dale called to her, and she lifted her head. "Are you all right? You look...flush."

"I'm fine." She tried to smile but failed miserably.

"Do you want to see the nurse?"

"No, no, sir. I'm okay. Really."

"Do you want me to get your mother?"

She blushed and stared with horrified eyes. "No, sir, I'm really okay. But thank you." She dropped her eyes to the paper before her once more. If anyone was curious about having your parent work at your school, it sucked. Especially when they asked that fucking question. No. It would _always_ be no. She could be dying on the floor, and not want her mother there. Why did they always have to ask that fucking question? God. It was so embarrassing!

He moved on and began to discuss the syllabus.

"Hey, Carol?" Phillip tapped her light gently with his machanical pencil.

She looked over at him tenatively. "Yeah?"

"Are you sure you're all right? You do look a little pale."

She smiled at the gentle concern in his voice. "I'm okay."

"So, you don't need your mommy?" he cruelly mocked her. "Or a blankie? How about a pacifier?"

She glared at him, hating herself for not seeing his true purpose behind asking, and she was too flustered to reply, so she rolled her eyes to cover the tears forming there. God, could it get any worse? She wiped at her eye, seeing Daryl studying her, and she felt like melting into a puddle. This was the worst day in the history of her high school experience. When would it end?

The bell rang, it was time for first lunch, and Carol lingered in the class room for a moment to calm herself down. She told Michonne and Andrea she'd catch up to them, that she had to ask Mr. Horvath about the type of paper he wanted them to have. An obvious lie, but they understood and headed out.

She buried her face in her hands and snuffled. When this day was over, she would be truly happy. She dropped her hands and stood up, collecting her things and discovering someone lingering with her. She couldn't breathe at the sight of him, and she wanted to cry even more now.

"He's a prick." Daryl made an effort to look in her eyes. "Don't let him bother you."

"He didn't."

"Lair."

"I'm wearing fake lashes. They irate my eyes," she lied. "You don't know me."

"I think I know you pretty well." An arrogant smirk crossed his lips, and she felt peeling off her flesh. "But hey, I'm just a kid in the back of the class." He shrugged and strolled out of the room.

"You—" she cut off, trying to not get his attention, trying not to start a fight. It wasn't worth it. He wasn't worth it.

"I?" He was holding the door open. "I what?"

"You're an asshole, Daryl Dixon." She stormed by him, hitting him with her shoulder, and she sped towards the cafeteria, hearing him chuckle and comment on that. She rolled her eyes and groaned in frustration. _The amount of rude fucking people at this school, I swear to God!_

"Someone's pissed." Michonne lowered a chip from her mouth. "What is it?"

"Asshole Blake and—and that Dixon... Ugh. I hate guys at this school. Immature jerks." She slammed her binder down on the table, catching the attention of the people sitting further down from them. "I think I'll transfer out of Horvath's, trade it out for my English course. I'll take Dale next semester."

"What? No." Andrea frowned. "It's the only class I have with all three of us, and I have some pull. Dale's like my uncle. He'll totally give us an easy time. You know me, and that's enough that he'll let things slide. Plus he played the mom card with you. He already pities you."

"Ugh. Don't remind me."

"Hey, were you okay?" Michonne crossed her legs. "You didn't look comfortable at all. You were flush."

"I was. I am." She tucked hair behind her ear. "I'm gonna grab lunch. What are we having?"

"One side is hot dogs, the other is hamburgers." Andrea held up her hamburger. "Salad in the middle."

She nodded. "Salad it is."

Andrea watched her saunter off to grab her lunch and pried open her milk. "She's not okay."

"Not by a long shot." Michonne opened the baggie containing her peanut butter and jelly sandwich. "She hasn't been since the party, you know it?"

"W—why would I? It was just a party. We were all out of it, drunk and...yeah. I mean, no. Wait, like, did she say something to you?" She felt her heart begin to race. "Or...something?"

Michonne stared at her, both confused by the babbling and concerned for her friend. "No. Should she have?"

"No." She answered too quickly, so to cover she shoveled in her hamburger. Michonne didn't stop staring at her. "What?" She spoke with a full mouth.

"Am I the only one who's not falling apart?"

"I'm not." Lori dropped down beside them. "Where's my sister?"

"Salad line." Andrea downed her bite of burger with cola. "And are you ditching class?"

"No, 'course not. I switched out of P.E. for Home Eco, so I'm with you guys in that period and lunch now." She dug her lunch out of her purse. "Pringle anyone?"

"Yes." Andrea accepted a few and licked the dust off her fingertips. "Hmm, we have a question."

"What about?" She twisted the cap off the sprite she'd gotten at break and drank from it.

"What's up with your sister?"

"She's a tiny ball of anxiety and low self-esteem," she replied. "She's also a sophomore in high school. That's a lot to take on for a sixteen year old. Plus she's a Gemini, so she's super weird because of that."

"And I'm a Sagittarius," Andrea retorted. "What difference does that make?"

"All the difference." She opened the can of Pringles and nodded to Carol who was coming back.

"What are you doing here?" Carol popped open the plastic container her salad resided in.

"Schedule change. We know have third together, so first lunch here I am." She grinned wickedly and crunched down on a chip.

"She's a lazy hoe." Michonne rephrased. "She didn't want to take P.E."

"Yet. I'll have to take it, but not this semester. I have it next—with Ford."

"Transfer back to Williams," Andrea advised. "Ford is murder. He is cruel and will work you like you're straight up in boot camp. Don't do it. Sasha is easy and nice and can relate to you. She understands when your ankle is sprained that you need to rest it. Ford just makes you hobble around on the other to avoid further injury."

"I'm sure you're over exaggerating." She shrugged a shoulder. "Besides I can't. Mom won't let me without a legitimate excuse. I'm out of 'em, so Ford it is. If he kills, he'll have to fight her. She can take him."

"Or your dad can."

Carol busted out laughing, and so did Lori and Andrea and Michonne, who made the comment. Axel was a great guy with strong believes and a good heart, but he wasn't a fighter. He would crumble like a box if he had to fight anyone, least of Ford. It would leave Karen a widow and the girls fatherless. It wouldn't be pretty either. Out of the two of them, Karen was the fighter. And Lori—for Carol. She was too meek to really fight for herself. They hoped she grew out of it. Since she hadn't in elementary school, they were shooting for once she was out of high school. If not then well, perhaps college?

– – –

The rest of the school day blew by, Karen had the girls go home with Michonne and her mom, as she lived a couple blocks from them, and Karen had to finish up some things. They said goodbye to Michonne and headed inside, Lori went upstairs to her bedroom, and Carol headed downstairs to hers. She dropped her backpack on the chair in the corner and dropped onto the bed to decompress, hugging her butterfly pillow to her chest.

She was happy she had won the basement bedroom argument. It wasn't between siblings so much as her and her dad. Lori didn't want anything to do this place. She wanted her own room with windows and sunlight, and she didn't want to move the big ass frame attached to her bed. She adored that frame, and she didn't want to damage it on the move down two flights of stairs. She knew their parents and herself could hardly lift the damn thing, so no moving it. She was content anyway with her free space.

After sharing a room since age two, they decided on the day of their 8th grade graduation that they needed separate rooms. They were growing up in differently directions, such as Carol adored plants and filled the entire house with them—even the bathroom—and Lori adored clothes and music. Carol said her music depressed her plants, and they bickered over it. That was when the solution came to them. That, and Mom telling Dad he needed to clean the basement and garage out. Also that they needed to hush or be grounded.

So, they made a deal with Dad. They would clean it up, box up anything personal and sell what wasn't. They mostly ended up throwing it away since it was junk not even collectors could want. They then installed some more lights, as Lori's behest, and they knocked out part of the wall for a window for Carol's plants. They painted it, moved her things down, and now it was Carol's room. Extra junk went on Dad's workbench. Or in Mom's "supply" closet, which was just a junk closet. They have to clean it out every few years or it'll pour out and crush the unsuspecting. It happened to Michonne when she opened the wrong door to fetch Carol a towel to help clean up spilled pop.

Carol loved how isolated it was from the rest of the house, especially now. She needed some time to herself. The hectic chaos of a first day could wait until she...settled her thoughts. She had far too many of them right now. She buried her face in her pillow and whined.

"Hey, kiddo."

Shit. She sat up. "Dad."

"Your mom told me you were feeling sick in Horvath's class?" He stood in the middle of the steps, not technically in her bedroom, but not technically out.

"I'm okay. I'm ready to eat dinner and go to bed. Can it just be that simple?"

"It can be, but you've been acting weird all day. Is something wrong? Is it...your period? Before you go off on me, I know it doesn't affect you all the time, but you do get in moods sometimes."

"Because I'm kind of, you know, in pain."

"Er, are you now?"

"No."

"Well...then you might be soon. It's about that time. I'll ask your mom to swing by the store on the way home." He tapped his thumb on the railing. "Do you want to talk about your day? Did something happen?"

"Just a boring day in high school, Dad. That's all. I'm ready for the longest nap ever."

He chuckled. "Stick with us a bit longer. I'm making taco shells for dinner, and there's ice cream."

"I do have to water my plants. Lisa's looking a little dry." She smiled at his smile. "And I should check on Amy. She's out with the flu."

"Poor kid."

"Yeah, Andrea's trying not to catch it. She wears a mask around the house and lives on vitamins."

"That sounds like her." He checked his watch. "I should start dinner soon. Your mom's had an appetite the last couple days."

"'Cause she stays up working on her assignments for the semester," Lori spoke from behind Axel. "And she forgets to eat until dinner."

"Sounds like someone else we know." His eyes moved to Carol.

"I eat," she protested. "I snack all the time."

"Then help me snack on these chips and catch up on a TV show." Lori slipped by Axel and plopped on the bed. "You know you want to."

"I actually just want a nap," she confessed. "Can we watch it tomorrow?"

She sighed. "Okay, but I'm coming down early for yoga." She hopped up. "I'll help you with dinner."

"Why can't you and Mom do yoga together?" Carol groused. "You both do it super early anyway."

"Because I like it down here. The plants and low lighting set the mood." She smiled. "You should join me."

"I bend like a sheet of metal," was all she said.

"Party pooper." She headed upstairs with her dad.

Party. Carol cringed at the word. She hated the word party. Her first and last experience was at Tobin's end of school bash. He invited their entire class, and they invited people who invited people who brought beer and wine coolers and a keg. Mom dropped them off when it was calm party then all those people came. The music began to blare, people were pushing each other all over the place dancing, and there were no rules. Not a single one. Carol's want to let loose and have a little fun was feed by that energy...God.

She slid off the bed and walked over to the full length mirror, tossing a blanket over it. She didn't want to see herself. She was so angry at herself. It was her first high school party, and it should have been a blast. It should have been calm or whatever, but it wasn't. She wasn't. She wanted to be someone else, and she suceeded. She went too far, and she did something so incredibly stupid. She hated herself for it. Her first party wasn't supposed to be like that. It wasn't supposed to leave her feeling this way. It'd been weeks since the party, months even and she still felt like this. Disgusted and irked and so damn sad. So many things had changed that night, and she couldn't keep it all in anymore.

Andrea wouldn't talk about it. Michonne didn't know about it. Lori was busy dancing the night away with a few friends to notice it. That left Carol to replay the events brought on by beer and wine coolers alone. What she did, what happened that night, how she felt about it now. All of it kept creeping up on her. It was nothing illegal, but...honestly with how she felt, it might as well have been.


	2. Party Hardy

_**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**_

– – –

 _The smooth beats of Panic! At The Disco vibrated through the house, people were drinking and dancing, some were laughing and falling over, others were getting a little too friendly. That's what Carol was up to after her third wine cooler. She was getting acquainted with a total stranger. Well, perhaps she should say her and her tongue. She'd blown by her first kiss and was now into her first make out session._

 _His hands ran down body, conforming to her curves, and he broke the kiss to breath, an airy chuckle escaping as his nose bumped against hers accidentally. He was a little buzzed himself, and he could taste the alcohol on her tongue. She tasted of berries too, though he suspected that was just her lip gloss. It was nice. Better the most girls he kissed. They normally tasted of beer or smoke. She was refreshing wave of fresh air. Soft and eager—adorably eager. God, it made him want her all the more._

 _She pulled him back to her, weaving her hands through his hair, and she parted his lips as he'd done moments ago to hers. She pressed her hips into his, he groaned against her lips, and she had already felt him through his jeans. She was surprised. She knew about the birds and the bees, but she'd never considered someone...especially someone as gorgeous and sweet as him to feel that way towards her. She was nobody, and she was barely even attractive. Yet here he was, kissing her and her touching and wanting her. It was more addictive than anything she'd ever experienced in her life._

 _His hand slipped under the waistline of her jeans, and she instantly pulled back, suddenly remembering she was on a couch in someone random dude's house with people all around them dancing and drinking and laughing. She couldn't catch her breath to tell him she didn't want this, not like this, but he knew. She didn't say anything, but he knew._

She opened her eyes. _How did he know? I hadn't said anything. Did it show in my eyes? I'm a virgin, and the last place I want to lose it is on a dingy couch with people watching?_ She nuzzled her face against her pillow and sighed as Lori continued her morning yoga in her bedroom.

"You okay?" Lori paused in her posing. "You've sighed about a million times since I came down here. Do you want me to leave?"

"No." She shook her head. "I just don't want to go to school."

"Oh, I know." She pulled her leg up. "I'd rather sell my soul than go to school."

She smiled weakly. "We can sell mine. Just might not be worth much."

"A pure soul? We'd be millionaires in soul money."

"I'm not too sure about that." She slid off the bed. "I'm gonna shower now, but feel free to continue to use my space."

"I will. Thanks."

Carol shuffled to the bathroom and closed her door. She had her own bathroom and shower, but Lori used it just as much as she did. Some days it felt like they were right back to sharing a bedroom again, like today. Honestly, would it kill her to just suck it up and do yoga upstairs with Mom? Carol might just have to kill her if she kept this up every morning. The sounds of whatever music she played were not calming. It was rude, and Carol would have to start locking her door at night. She had no lock, but she could install one. Or install one on Lori's door to lock her in at night.

She scrubbed her teeth clean with her annoyance at her sister, and she stepped into the shower. She still had an entire week of school to go before it was the weekend, and she could sleep. Today they would start getting books, and assignments would follow. She didn't want to deal with homework and lectures. She didn't know what she wanted, but it certainly was not this. Or reporting into homeroom every morning for the first week. At least they would get their locker assignments today. That was one upside. Kind of.

––

"Eat." Karen held out the second Poptart to her youngest. "I can get you a carton of milk."

"Ew." Carol accepted the Poptart nonetheless. "I'd rather eat this dry."

"Do you not feel well?" She touched her forehead.

"No, but school milk tastes sour. I drink water or orange juice." She straightened up in her chair. "And please stop babying me. You have the other teacher's doing it too. It's embarrassing."

"I'm sorry I love you." She walked back to her desk. "I'll try and refrain from that."

"You know what I mean." She picked the crust off the Poptart and ate it. "I just want a normal high school experience."

"Fine, I'll try. There are no promises."

"Thank you." She propped her feet up on the chair in front of her, biting into the fruit filled tart.

Lori burst into the room and flew over to her mom's desk. "I have a question, and please say yes."

Karen studied her. "I feel inclined to say no, but go ahead."

"Okay, so you remember how you and Dad said when we were sixteen years old, we could date?"

"Vaguely."

"Mom, be serious."

"I am. You two were four years old. He made you promise him you would wait till you were sixteen. He also said...something about meeting the guy, and if you two ever decide to have sex to tell us. We'd rather you be safe, so don't forget that part."

Carol moistened her lips and picked at the sprinkled frosting layering the Poptart.

"Thanks for the reminder, but I would like to just date him for now, so could I? I mean, he hasn't asked yet, and I haven't asked, but if he does or I do, could we? Please? I can bring him by the house. Dad will like him. You already know him."

"It's not Phillip, is it?"

"Gross, no. I have standards, and he's an asshole."

"Then who?"

"Rick." She broke out into a wide smile. "Rick Grimes."

Karen leaned back her seat. "I do know him. He's in my Marketing class."

"So you know he's a great guy. He's really smart and funny. He's nice all the time." She sounded like she was trying to sell him, not date him.

Karen pursed her lips. "Carol, what's your opinion of Rick Grimes?"

"Pretty eyes, great ass and a sweet guy. He's a year above us. He helped me find my way around freshmen year." She lifted her gaze from the dismantled poptart. "He wants to be a cop when he graduates, so you know he's trying to at least try to do right by the law."

Lori shook her head. "Mom, please, just this one trust me."

She sighed. "Fine, but bring him by the house prior to any first date. Study or otherwise."

"Thank you." She hugged her tightly.

"Doesn't mean Dad won't try and stop the date," Carol pointed out.

"If Rick Grimes asks me out and Dad won't let me go, I'll just have to remind him of the time he ditched me at the zoo."

"He didn't ditch you," Karen corrected. "He...sort of lost you."

"Still, I cried for half an hour with the security guard. He lost track of me. It scarred me for life, and now I can't trust people."

"If anything scarred you, you'd think it'd be what happened with your mother," Carol bluntly acknowledged, flicking crumbs off her binder.

"Carol." Karen's voice had an unusual edge to it. "Don't say that."

"Why not? My mother was the same way." She ate part of the broken up Poptart.

"Your mother died," Lori stated. "It wasn't the same as what happened with my mother. You don't even know the whole story, so shut up."

"It's not hard to guess."

"Carol, enough. Keep it up, and you're grounded." She searched her eyes. "What's gotten into you?"

The first bell rang, Carol didn't have any intentions on answering anyway, and Lori sat down in the front row away from Carol. Students filed into the classroom, Karen kept an eye on her daughter, and she gave out locker assignments and told them about the first pep rally of the year. She liked to let them know, though the principal would announce it the day before so they could dress in school colors or in shirts that had their insignia and name on it to show school spirit. He went on and on about it, but it was all in good fun. Although if someone kept her up her poor mood, she wouldn't be going anywhere but home.

"Carol," Karen called to her as the students began to head out for first, "come here."

Carol waited until her row had left before dragging herself to her mom's desk. "What?"

"Don't use that tone," Karen snapped. "Now I don't know what's gotten into you, but you need cut it out. We don't talk about Lori's mom, okay? Or yours."

"Why not? I'm not ashamed of my mother. Are you ashamed of your friend?"

Karen set her jaw. "You're grounded. Give me your phone."

"I left it at home."

"Fine. I'll have you father take it and your laptop. You keep this attitude up, and you'll lost a lot more. Do you understand me?"

She averted her eyes. "Yes."

"Good, now go to class."

She heaved a sigh and stomped out of the room towards the gym.

What the hell was that? Karen ran a hand through her hair. They didn't talk about Lori's mother, not unless Lori had questions then Karen sat her down and talked to her about it. She knew whole facts would hurt Lori, but half truths weren't what the girl wanted to know about her mother. Karen told her the truth, but there were things Lori knew that Carol didn't. Carol knew that, so what the hell was she trying to do? Intentionally set Lori off? And why bring up her own mother?

She nibbled on her bottom lip. She had to call Axel during her free period. Either Carol was about to begin her teenage rebellion phase, or this was a hint that they were failing as parents. She wasn't sure which one she wanted it to be. Hopefully it was just a crabby mood due to lack of sleep. If it was anything more she would have to talk to David. He was here for the students mostly, and this was about a student, so it wasn't too off.

––

Michonne stretched her legs beside Carol, feeling something off about her. Carol wasn't the most active person in the world, nor was she thrilled about P.E first thing in the morning, but there was an air of sheer irritation surrounding her. Michonne was both curious and wary.

"You okay today?"

"I'm a little tired. Lori woke me up with her stupid yoga music."

"Why don't you make her do that in her own room?"

"I'm going to. I moved into the basement to have my own space, not to become a yoga studio for Lori. If she wanted the room, she should have said something." She sounded so much more pissed than she felt, but she didn't care. Michonne would understand. She always understood. Lori was in the wrong here, not her.

"Have you told her you feel this way?"

"No." She stretched her arm behind her back.

"Talk to her first. Just let her know it's not okay for her to treat your room like it's hers. She'll get it. And if she doesn't then hit her with that tone. You might get in trouble, but you'll get the point across."

She smiled. "Thanks, Michonne."

"No problem." She returned it. "Partner."

"Okay." Sasha motioned for them to come closer. "We're going to start with some simple exercises then we'll break into teams to play volleyball. We won't get called in for our books until tomorrow, so don't worry about any interruptions."

"Joy." Carol pulled her hair back into a bun and sighed. "I'm hungry."

"Didn't you eat breakfast?"

"Just...cereal. And mom gave me a Poptart. Half a Poptart."

"We'll get a biscuit at break. I'll get one too, if you're still hungry."

She laughed. "I think one will do."

"If you say so."

They moved into five lines of four, Carol and Michonne occupied the back with Shane and Andrea, and Carol caught a glimpse of Paula as she moved in front of Carol. Carol just knew this wasn't going to end well, though before she could ask, Michonne traded her spots, and she smiled a thanks. However Carol was now behind Daryl. She wasn't sure how this was an improvement, but she couldn't trade with Andrea. They weren't partners. Oh, well.

Gym flew by after the exercises, Carol wasn't assigned to a team, so she and few others watched from the bleachers, and Carol could feel him eyeing her again. She tried not to acknowledge it. If she let him know she wasn't interested or didn't care enough to pay attention, he'd stop. He'd get the hint. He'd leave her alone. He should have left her alone that night, but he didn't. She didn't tell him too, and—ugh!

She shot up and off the bleachers, asking to get water, and she hurried out of the gym. She stepped outside, the bright sun glaring down on the pavement, and she squinted, groaning slightly as she leaned against the rough brick wall.

The wind began to pick up, loose curls flew into her face, and she felt like throwing up. She didn't want to think about that night. She didn't want to think about the party. She didn't want to think about any of it. It was a mistake. One she wished to God she could take back, but she couldn't. It happened. It did happen. All of it...all of it happened.

"Hey."

She spun around to find Daryl walking over to her. Oh, God, no. "What are you doing out here?"

"Could ask you the same."

"It's none of your damn business."

"You're pissed at me?" He ran his eyes over her, keeping a distance between them. "Are you kiddin' me?"

"Of course I'm pissed at you! And it's not just you, it's me too!"

"Damn straight it's you too!" he snapped back. "You were the damn instigator."

"I was drunk. I didn't want..." She dropped off and cast her gaze to the cars in the parking lot.

"Oh, don't even try and pretend like you didn't." He stepped closer. "You wanted it. You sure as hell told me you wanted it. You didn't even try to stop me." And if she had tried, even just a little, he would have backed the hell off. He wouldn't have pushed. He wouldn't have made her do something she didn't want, but she did want it. She made it perfectly clear the entire time. He asked her several times, before and during. She was okay with it at the time. Apparently those were the key words: _at the time._

She slumped against the wall. "Stop now then."

"No, 'cause I ain't gonna deal with your glares all fuckin' year long." His eyes burned into her face. "We had sex. Consensual sex."

That caught her attention. "I'm not going to come after you with rape changes. I did consent, okay? It's just how I feel about it now when I'm sober."

"See, that makes it sound iffy."

"I'm allowed to be iffy with my own feelings. It doesn't mean I'm going to cry rape to my daddy." She crossed her arms. "It makes it worse knowing I consented to...having sex with you."

"With me?" He glared. "What do you mean by that? I'm some scum you had sex with? I'm trash?"

"No, I didn't mean it like that. I only meant...?" Tearful eyes met his. "Daryl, that was my first time. Ever. And it was with you."

"I disgust you now?"

"No, just myself." She was trying her best not to cry in front of him. "It was my first time. Can't you understand why I'm upset?"

"Not really."

"God, you're an asshole. If you opened your mind like an inch more, you'd understand that I didn't want to have my first time in someone's parents' bed with a total fucking stranger!" She ground out. "I wanted it to be special, okay? I wanted it to be with someone who really cared about me. Call me childish or whatever, I don't care. I didn't want it to be with you! God, I don't even know you."

He set his jaw. "You left marks on my back."

"Shut up," she whispered.

"You told me not to stop. You were moaning my name—yes, my name—the entire damn time. Sometimes switched it up between Daryl and yes, but it was rare. You clung on to me." He stepped even closer to her, she squeezed her eyes shut, and he shook his head. "You came...to me—and for me."

"Shut up!" She slapped him, he didn't even flinch, and she glowered at him through her tears. Her hand stung from the force of the blow.

He inhaled. "You have my jacket. I'd like it back."

She met his eyes. "How can you not care?"

"What's to care about?" He shrugged a shoulder. "You weren't my first, but I know I was yours. First kiss too, right?"

"Was I just awful for you? Because you seemed to enjoy it yourself." Her words were thick from crying, and he was blurry in her vision, but she wasn't going to be the only one hurt by this conversation.

"It was sex. I'm a guy." He smirked. "I've had better, but you did okay."

She whimpered. "Fuck you."

"Nah, the first time was enough. Don't forget my jacket." He backed away from her.

"What did I ever do to you?" She shouted after him. "Huh? I've never been anything but nice to you."

He scoffed. "Nice? You lent me a pencil—once! I give you a great first, and you're crying about it."

"Because I was buzzed. Because I don't know you. Because it was in some teenager's parents' bed. Because I don't...I don't love you, and you sure as hell don't love me. It was supposed to be an intimate moment between me and the guy I loved." She trembled. "It wasn't any of that, Daryl. It wasn't romantic. It wasn't sweet. It just was, and that's it."

"So? Love ain't everythin', sweet cheeks. You'll learn that eventually."

"Not if it turns me into you." She said it pitifully, like a toddler's whose favorite toy was taken away for poor behavior.

"You know what?" His eyes burned. "Fuck you. Just give me back my damn jacket, and trust me when I say, I'll stay the hell away from you. Fuckin' bitch." He headed back inside the building, leaving to her to crumble against the building and bawl her eyes out.

Her first time having sex, and it was with a guy like that. Great way to pick 'em, Carol. Stupendous, really. She buried her face in her hands and wished she could go back to the night and change everything. She wouldn't have drank. She wouldn't have let him kiss her. She wouldn't have even sat on that damn couch. Hell, she wouldn't even had gone. It was her first and last high school party. That was for sure.

– – –

Karen found Carol curled up on her bed that evening, Axel and Lori were setting the table, and Carol had yet to come and complain about them eating breakfast for dinner. It was for Lori. She loved breakfast for dinner. So did Axel. Carol said it made her feel like she'd have to go to school right after. That never stopped her from downing chocolate chip pancakes though. But when she called for dinner, no Carol, so she went to investigate.

"Sweetheart?" She lowered herself down onto Carol's bed, setting a hand on her hip. "Are you feeling okay?"

"No."

Karen knew she'd been crying. Her voice was thick, and she could hear her stuffy nose. Her heart broke at the sight of her daughter like this, and she knew she couldn't make it better. She didn't know the cause of her tears, and Carol wouldn't tell her. She might tell Lori. They always shared everything.

"I don't want to talk about." She rubbed a hand over her eyes. "I just want to go to bed."

"You have to eat."

"I'm not hungry."

She sighed. "I'll make a plate for you in case you change your mind. The pancakes won't be so great, but I'll give you a few." She rubbed her thigh and stood up. "I'll close the door so you can get some sleep."

She buried her face in her pillow, curls cloaking her face, and her legs curled in even more. "Thank you."

She padded up the stairs and joined Lori and Axel. "Carol's not feeling well. She's going to bed."

"Without eating?" Lori frowned and exchanged a look with Axel. "It's chocolate pancakes. Her favorite. She hates them for dinner, but she loves them. They're her crack."

She shook her head. "She's in bed now."

"Is she okay? Should I talk to her?" Axel set down a fork and butter knife.

"No, no. She doesn't want to talk. I think...we should just leave her be tonight. I'll check in on her later, you two can come with me, but we'll have to be quiet in case she's actually sleeping." She glanced behind her for a moment then at Lori. "Has she told you anything?"

"Anything being?"

"Just anything you would have to tell us. Something personal."

"Not that I can think of. She was a little pale today, but she did skip lunch. And break. Michonne said she was hungry, but she ditched us." She sat down. "She has wrappers in her purse, so I know she ate something. Or has old cracker wrappers in her purse."

"You went through her purse?" Axel's disapproval was written on every inch of his face.

"She lost my lip balm, so I borrowed hers. I need to buy my own. My lips taste like a smoothie." She rubbed her sleeve over her lips once more. "Blech."

"So she hasn't had any problems?"

"It's been two days." Lori accepted the plate of pancakes, taking four for herself. "She hasn't been bullied by Paula, and she hasn't gotten her heart broken by some new crush. I think she's doing all right."

"I'm doubtful." Karen nibbled on a strawberry.

"Unless you want to home school her, there's nothing we can do." Axel met her eyes. "She's a tough girl. She'll be okay. We'll talk to her tomorrow before school, and we'll clear this up."

She pressed her lips together. "Okay."

"Can I not be here for that lovely chat?" Lori drowned her pancakes in syrup. "I'll take the bus if I have to."

"No, I want you there too. I want to talk to both of you."

"You had plans to talk to us tonight, didn't you?" She lowered her fork. "What is it?"

"It's nothing you need to worry about. I'll talk to you girls tomorrow."

"Mom?"

"No." Karen waved her hands in an X motion. "I am not involved. It's his talk. I don't even know what it's about."

She tapped her fork on her plate twice. "Okay, but if something is wrong with Carol, and it might upset her to have this talk, put it on hold. I don't want to send her off the deep end."

"What do you know?" Axel narrowed her eyes.

"She's been really rude today, and she only does that something's bothering her. She won't talk to me about it, but she really won't talk to you guys about it."

"What could be bothering you?"

"I honestly don't know. I'm not in her brain. It could be anything from a crappy assignment to a guy. She hasn't shown any interest in anyone, but she and Daryl did disappear in gym today."

"How do you know that? You don't even have gym with her." Karen gave her a sideways glance. "You have Dale first."

"Michonne was telling me about it at break. Carol went to get water, Daryl left to go to the bathroom, and only he came back. I mean, Carol came back eventually, but clearly they were together. And he upset her. Or she upset him. They were both pretty...riled up, according to Michonne."

"Who's this guy?" Axel inquired.

"I dunno. Some junior. He doesn't really talk a lot, or have many friends. He stays in the back of the class and wears pretty much all black. He's not goth, though. Or emo, or whatever. He seems like an okay guy, a little broody, but okay."

"He sounds exactly like the opposite of Carol's last crush," Axel pointed out.

"He's a good kid," Karen argued. "His name is Daryl Dixon. He's intelligent. He doesn't always show it or rush to answer questions in class, but he's a straight A student. At least in my class. He's tardy a lot, though."

"You know him?"

"No, just his grades and attendance."

"He's the opposite of my guy," Lori remarked.

"You have a guy now too?" Axel felt his head was spinning. "Who? And since when?"

"Well, he's not my guy, not yet, but I really like him. His name is Rick Grimes. He's really nice, Dad. He's smart and considered. Responsible too. He has a job, but not a car. He's saving up to buy one."

"What kind of car?"

"Okay, you know how a lot of girls who love cars and all of that good stuff?" He nodded. "I'm not one of them. I have no clue. I was thinking about how cute he looked in his jacket. It was seven in the morning. I don't retain anything beyond what my eyes could see."

"My hope for college just sank a little bit more," he teased.

"Ha ha," she dryly replied.

"You should learn about cars." He drank orange juice from his cup. "You'll need to know about "all that good stuff" one day."

"You buyin' me a car?"

He chuckled. "No."

"Then why should I learn it? My invisi-car does pretty well all on its own. Never have to get an oil change, and the mileage on that puppy is pretty awesome."

"Sounds like you know a little."

"Eh." She shrugged her shoulder and focused on her bacon.

"Oh, by the way, try outs oughta be starting soon," Karen told her daughter. "Are you going to join anything? There are clubs too."

"Probably not. I barely have time for my homework as it is."

"Michonne's joining dance."

"And Andrea's joining the golf team." She shrugged again. "I haven't met a club I like. Maybe swim, but only if I can drag Carol along."

"Why can't you join by yourself? You need your sister?"

"No, I don't need her. I just want her there."

"Talk to her about it first. Don't just drag her off and back her into a corner."

"I would never do that."

"You did it when you were ten," Karen reminded her, despite knowing Lori remembering it. "You made her join the basketball team. She hated it, and she came home crying."

"That was one time—and I thought she'd like it. We used to play together all the time."

"There's a difference between you two playing and joining a team."

She slouched back in her seat. "It was six years ago, and I won't do it again. I'll just check it out with her. She might want to join a different club anyway. Like yearbook staff."

"That'd be good. I was on the yearbook staff." Axel salted the eggs on his plate. "You should consider it. It's actually fun."

"I probably won't join any, but sure, I'll consider them. You only go through high school once, right?"

"Unless you're..." Axel trailed off, clearing his throat and shaking his head. "Uh, never mind."

"Wait, no. Unless you're who?" Lori searched his face and arched her brow. "My mother? Do you want to insult her too?"

"Lori, I didn't—"

"No, go ahead and say it. We all know she had better things to do than care about grades. Or me."

He met her eyes. "I was talking about Carol's mother. She failed her senior year. She missed too many days, couldn't catch up with work."

"Oh." She lowered her gaze. "I'm sorry. I just... I don't want to talk about her. Ever. Even if it might be funny."

"I didn't know your mother. To me, Karen's your mom. That's enough for me. I don't need to know the rest."

She smiled a little and looked over at Karen. "She might as well be."

Karen reached over and clasped her hand affectionately. "I think after all these years...we should drop the might. You've given me grey hairs. I'm thirty-three, and I have gray hairs." Lori laughed. "Seriously. I had to dye my hair before school started."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be. It was worth it." Her gaze moved to Axel, and she thought about his losses and if they were worth it. It was difficult to try and guess his answer. Honestly, she knew Carol's mom still held most of his heart, but that was okay. She had plenty of love too.

––

Carol woke up to sunlight in her face, and she inhaled, pushing hair out of her face, and she blew out a sigh. She pushed herself up and her eyes fell to the worn lavender love seat that once sat in the living room. Mom had given it to her when they bought a new set a last year. It was where Carol had woken up for the second time that day after the party. Lori was curled up in the leather armchair Carol had spent a year's worth of allowance on. Luckily Lori only threw up in the trashcan by her desk.

Throw up. Carol wanted to throw up right now. At her actions, at what she said, at how much or how little it'd taken for her to do those things... Christ, she was such a whore. If only took three wine coolers and maybe half a beer, she really was just a whore.

" _This spot taken?"_

 _Carol looked up and nearly choked on her drink. She swallowed and moved over, though it wasn't necessary. It wasn't a big couch, but she wasn't all that big herself. "No, uh, feel free to sit here."_

" _Thanks." He sat down beside her, working on his second bottle of beer. "You friends with Tobin?"_

" _No, not me." She shook her head. "My sister kinda just knows everybody."_

" _My brother is the same way." He brought bottle up to his lips and drank, feeling her eyes on him, and when he looked over, she blushed and avoided eye contact._

 _"Uh, what grade is your brother?"_

 _He nearly snorted. "Merle didn't go to high school. Well, he did, but he dropped out." He rolled the bottle between his palms and glanced at her. "W_ _hat year are you?"_

" _'98."_

 _He laughed. "No, I meant freshmen, sophomore, junior, senior—that kinda thing."_

 _Her blush worsened. "Right, um, I knew that. I was just...joking."_

" _Right." He smirked. "So?"_

" _I—I'm a sophomore. I'll be a sophomore."_

" _Ah, you were a fresh meat just two weeks ago." He leaned back. "No wonder you didn't look that familiar."_

" _What year are you?"_

" _'97." He caught her smirking now. "I'll be a junior this fall."_

" _Only two years left."_

" _I'll drink to that." He knocked his bottle against hers, and they drank. His bottle was nearly empty, so he finished it off and put it down on the table. "Do you like it?"_

" _It being what exactly?" She refused to assume and say something stupid again, taking another sip of her drink._

" _School."_

" _It's all right, I guess. It's bigger than my middle school. I got lost a lot, but my mom works there, so she gave me the tour one day after school. I know my way around pretty well." She sipped on her drink. "The people are...a different story."_

" _They typically are." He turned to face her on the couch, not caring that he had his boot on Tobin's furniture. Honestly with a party this wild, he was lucky nobody had called the cops or worse. "So, who bugs you?"_

" _Paula." She crossed her legs. "She's a real bitch. I don't know what I did to make her hate me so much, but...I wish I did know, so I get could get her to back off."_

" _Paula? She always picks one freshmen to give hell. Don't worry. She'll be a senior this year, so she'll be focusing on trying to graduate."_

" _I hope so." She peeked at him. "It's really hard to just attend high school, let alone do it while being bullied. It got to the point where I had to buy a lock for my locker. She would either move my books and binders, or she'd leave something foul in there. There was also pushing me in the hall and knocking my books out of my hands. Classic bullying moves."_

" _Do you want me to have a word with her?"_

" _God, no! My sister already tried, and it only got worse. I just want her to grow up. You can't help her do that, so please just leave it be."_

 _He nodded. "Do you want another?" He pointed to her nearly empty bottle._

" _Oh, sure."_

" _Do you really want one? You kinda seem like a lightweight."_

" _I can handle myself." She smiled and rose._

" _I thought I was getting it."_

" _Good rule of thumb for life: never let someone get you drink unless you know them really well." She met his gaze when he stood up, and for a moment she feared she'd offended him._

" _That is a good rule to have." He smiled a little at her and clasped her hand. "Stay close to me, okay? People are packed in here like sardines."_

 _She nodded, her heart fluttering at how his hand felt around hers. Big, strong, warm, and her heart began to pound when he brought her closer to his chest to avoid being hit by two extremely drunk teens who thought jumping wildly counted as dancing. She could smell his aftershave and soap. It wasn't like anything she'd ever smelled before. It was rich and earthy. He also smelled of leather from the leather vest he was wearing. God, he was so gorgeous._

 _They made it into the kitchen, Daryl helped himself to some of the nacho cheese dip, and Carol found the cooler of unopened drinks. She wasn't sure if moving on to bottle number two was a good idea, but she was going to need some courage if she was going to hang with him. Liquid courage would have to do, and it wasn't like anything would happen. Lori was here. Andrea and Michonne too. They would keep an eye on her if she lost control or did something stupid._

 _Daryl popped the top off to his beer, motioning for her to hand her bottle over so he could open it, and she accepted the now opened bottle with what she hoped was a sly grin. He offered her some of the food items laid out on the island and the counters._

" _All right, we got pizza."_

" _I'm a cheese pizza only type of girl," she replied at the sight of the pepperoni and pineapple toppings. "Or sausage. I love sausage and mushroom pizza."_

" _Movin' on." He chuckled and moved to the many dips. "We got French onion, nacho cheese, spinach and artichoke, and guacamole." Tobin told his parents it was a simple party to celebrate a year of passing grades, so they provided the refreshments. Hench the spinach and artichoke dip. "Not to mention the ass ton of chips."_

 _She reached over and helped herself to both the nacho cheese and guacamole, only liking the guacamole. The nacho cheese was a bit too spicy for her. She washed it down with the majority of her wine cooler when Daryl was distracted by something. She swallowed and nearly coughed the liquid back up, but only a burp came out._

" _Excuse me." She covered her mouth._

" _What for?" He turned his attention back to her._

" _I just, it was a burp. Sorry." She tucked hair behind her ear._

" _I thought you had curly hair," he commented, pointing to the flat auburn locks resting down her shoulders._

" _I do, but Lori insisted I flat iron it for the party. I—I like it natural. It's not easier, but it doesn't take so long to style it."_

 _He reached over and grasped a few strands of her. "Not that it matters but...the curls look better."_

 _She blushed. "Thank you. It... I like them too." That smile returned, still small, still not revealing any teeth, but still increasing her pulse. "I could use another drink, so...I'll go grab it."_

" _Um...wait." He caught her wrist, those beautiful eyes meeting his, and he lost his train of thought. "Do...uh, do you like this song?"_

" _It's all right. Why? Do you want to dance?"_

" _I don't know how."_

" _Well, I don't really either." She laughed. "But we could give it a shot. I doubt anybody will remember if we make fools of ourselves."_

 _He pursed his lips as she finished off her drink, and he ran out of time when she pushed her hair back and pulled him out of the kitchen towards the den. There was mass of dancing teens in the room, the lights were dim, and he was being pushed and there until finally Carol stopped in the corner of the room. She turned to him, her hand still holding his, and there was no room to dance. She realized that a little too late, but it didn't matter._

 _It didn't matter, because he pulled her closer and kissed her. She gasped against his lips, her eyes closing at the contact, and she wrapped her arm around his neck. She could feel his hand in her hair, cradling the back of her head, and he pushed her backwards. They were met with a wall, his lips left hers as he turned his head slightly left to kiss her again, and she moaned softly at his kiss. Her moan was lost the pounding beats of the music._

 _When air became a problem, they broke away, and he stepped back. She slowly opened her eyes, hoping he would still be there, and he was. She grinned and tried to cover it with her fingertips. That was her first kiss. Her first kiss at her first high school party. Okay, maybe tonight wouldn't be so horrible after all._

" _C'mere." He guided her out of the den and back through the kitchen, stopping to snatch some drinks, and they returned to the couch. Daryl had to shoo some kids off, but most kids fled in the other direction at the sight of a Dixon, so that helped. He was happy Carol wasn't one of those people. He'd wanted to talk to her since he had her in his third last year, and now he had his chance. He wanted to wait to kiss her, but...it was just a kiss. Probably her first. Should he have asked before he kissed her?_

" _You okay?" Carol studied him._

" _Yeah." He cleared his throat, swallowing those thoughts with more beer. He'd only drink half then he was done. He was an asshole when he was drunk, and he didn't even want to get buzzed. Not with her here. He wanted to talk to her, to get her to know her, so when school started he could talk to her. Maybe even date her. "Er, you lookin' forward to next year?"_

" _No, but I figure it doesn't matter. It's still coming." She crossed her legs and picked at the label to her wine cooler with her fingernail. "I just...want to be in college, you know? I want to be in classes where there are people who are passionate about the subjects I'm passionate about, where I can let all of my knowledge of this or that loose. You know? I want to be surrounded by a group of my own peers for once."_

 _He smiled to the corner of his mouth. "Yeah, I get that."_

 _She rolled her bottom lip in between her teeth and chuckled. "You do?"_

" _Yeah, most people around here...are fake, puttin' up a front so you'll like 'em. I hate people like that. Be real with me. Be honest. Nobody's got time for fake. Meetin' genuine people is rare, and when you like the same things or thing, it makes you feel a little less alone. The world doesn't seem so empty."_

" _Wow, pretty eyes and a mind," she teased. "Lucky me."_

 _He moistened his lips and leaned forward, reaching around to grasp the back of her head, and he hesitated for a split second. She moved closer, assuring him this was okay, that she wanted this too, and he kissed her lightly. He didn't move in for a second or third kiss, for now that one kiss was enough._

 _They talked after that, he let Carol have the rest of his beer when she'd finished her drink, and they talked some more. He was stunned to be talking to easily one of the most beautiful girls here. He didn't think he'd seen someone so unintentionally adorable or so sweet and sincere. She was unlike anybody he'd ever met. To think he wasn't going to attend this party, because he was no fan of Tobin. Had his brother not made him leave the house, he probably wouldn't have met her or spoke to her until his graduation day. He was a slow mover, that was for sure. Once the first conversation was out of the way, he was okay. It was just...working up to that first conversation._

 _Suddenly that...fifth or sixth conversation died out as the empty brown bottle hit the floor, those red bangs were pushed back to reveal more of her flawless milky skin, and her lips found his. He wanted to take it slow. He wanted to be cool about this, but there was noting cool—cold_ _—_ _icy—about this. It was hot and breathtaking, his lungs burned, and he didn't care if she set him aflame. If it meant he could continue to kiss her, to hold her, to feel her slender body flush against his then it was worth it._

 _The pulsating beats of Panic! At The Disco vibrated through the house, people were drinking and dancing, some where laughing and falling over, others were getting a little too friendly. That's what Carol was up to after her third wine cooler. She was getting acquainted with a total stranger. Well, perhaps she should say her and her tongue. She'd blown by her first kiss and was now into her first make out session._

 _His hands ran down body, conforming to her curves, and he broke the kiss to breath, an airy chuckle escaping as his nose bumped against hers accidentally. He was a little buzzed himself, and he could taste the alcohol on her tongue. She tasted of berries too, though he suspected that was just her lip gloss. It was nice. Better the most girls he kissed. They normally tasted of beer or smoke. She was refreshing wave of fresh air. Soft and eager—adorably eager. God, it made him want her all the more._

 _She pulled him back to her, weaving her hands through his hair, and she parted his lips as he'd done moments ago to her. She pressed her hips into his, he groaned against her lips, and she had already felt him through his jeans. She was surprised. She knew about the birds and the bees, but she'd never considered someone...especially someone as gorgeous and sweet as him to feel that way towards her. She was nobody, and she was barely even attractive. Yet here he was, kissing her and touching and wanting her. It was more addictive than anything she'd ever experienced in her life._

 _His hand slipped under the waistline of her jeans, and she instantly pulled back, suddenly remembering she was on a couch in someone random dude's house with people all around them dancing and drinking and laughing. She couldn't catch her breath to tell him she didn't want this, not like this, but he knew. She didn't say anything, but he knew._

" _Sorry."_

" _No, don't be." She didn't let him pull away. "Maybe we could...find some place a little more private?"_

" _You sure?"_

" _If you want to." She searched his eyes and whispered, "Do you want to?"_

" _Yeah." He kissed her again and pushed himself up, helping her to her feet, and he laced his fingers between hers, leading the way to the staircase. They climbed up them, Carol stumbled somewhat, bumping against him, and he just held her close. She laughed nervously, and he kissed her._

 _They stumbled through the upstairs until they found what he assumed was the master suit, he closed the door and locked it to keep others out, and she ran her eyes over the room before those sapphires found his eyes. She giggled and pushed her hair back, and he closed the space between them, holding her._

" _You sure about this?"_

" _Of course. I'm here." She grasped the hair at the base of his neck. "If I wasn't sure, I'll call for my big sister, and she'd come beat you up."_

" _We don't want that."_

" _But we do want this," she could feel her heart pounding in her chest, "don't we?"_

" _Yeah, yeah." He nodded. "Why wouldn't I?"_

" _You just keep asking, so... you're not looking for a way out?"_

" _No." He grasped her hips. "No way. I want you, Carol. I have since...since that boring ass class we had last year. I ain't looking for a way out."_

 _She smiled and sealed his lips with hers._

 _What came next wasn't what Carol had expected. Their clothes were abandoned in a heap on the floor, they moved under the sheets, and it happened. Her first time. She always thought it'd hurt. People said it could hurt, but she didn't feel much pain. Honestly, what she did feel...was a lot. Good and overwhelming and delicious even. Her skin still hummed from his touch and his kisses, his scent drowning out her own on her body, and it was wonderful._

 _Being with someone completely...was amazing...then intense. She'd never felt such an ache as she'd felt moments ago, and to have it be alleviated left her feeling like she wasn't even in her own body. For a moment, she felt bodiless, and it was a little weird, but his kisses brought her back. He was so gentle at the end, brushing hair from her forehead until their skin met, and his nose resting against hers. It was perfect in that moment. He was perfect..._

 _However when the moment was over, when she woke up in the morning naked in bed with a total stranger, it wasn't perfect. It wasn't wonderful. It was cold, and she was naked in someone else's bed. She couldn't get her clothes on fast enough, and she fled. She'd just spent the night with someone who she barely knew the first thing about, and it wasn't a simple sleep over. She'd given him a part of herself, and while he'd done the same, it was obvious he'd done it before unlike her._

 _She pushed her hair out of her face, trying to dry the tears as she walked home in the early morning, and she couldn't wait to get home and shower his scent off her body. She could feel and smell him everywhere. There was no escaping it. She'd just had sex in a classmate's parents' bed with someone she barely knew at her first high school party after having her first drink. And she severely regretted it._

 _She collapsed onto the sidewalk, only a few feet from the house and balled her eyes out, curling up, trying to make herself invisible, trying to shrink herself away. There was only moving forward after this, but...honestly, she just wanted to go back and politely decline the offer to attend this party. She'd made the biggest mistake of her life, and she was only sixteen. She had plenty more years to make mistakes, but none would be as big as this. She wouldn't forget this. Or forgive herself for this. Stupid. God, she was so, so stupid..._

–––

Daryl locked up the house, the morning air stale and humid, and he caught a glimpse of Merle and his latest girl chatting by his bike. He scoffed and headed off to school. He'd rather walk than catch a ride in the truck that reeked of her cheap perfume. It wasn't like five miles was a long walk anyway. He woke up early, so he might as well make the most of it.

He thought inhaled deeply and sighed. He wondered if Carol felt like that the morning after. Daryl was repulsed by the women Merle brought home. Did Carol feel repulsed by what happened between them? She regretted it, clearly. She didn't want to do it with a stranger, but did he disgust her? Or did she disgust herself? She shouldn't be disgusted by herself. He made moves, and so she did, but he definitely did. He wanted to be with her. Well, he wanted to hang out with her...

And he did hang out with her. Out with her, inside of her, yelling at her months later. What a prize. He rubbed the back of his neck. This wasn't how he wanted to handle his crush on her. Although that didn't matter. He made an ass of himself, and she probably hated him even more. Oh, well. It wasn't like anything would have become of it. She was...Carol, and he was him. They didn't mix, and they wouldn't again.


	3. Trauma Drama

_**I posted a chapter prior to this, but the site failed to sent out alerts for any updates. If you haven't read chapter two, read it before reading this. Or you'll be a little lost going forward.**_

* * *

 _ **Disclaimer: I own nothing.**_

– – –

Carol shuffled through the kitchen and found her mom making something. It smelled really good in here, and Carol wanted to take whatever it was and drown it in maple syrup. She regretted not eating last night. She was so hungry. She could happily devour a cow wrapped in bacon and smothered in steak sauce.

"Whatcha making?" Carol leaned against the counter.

"Yogurt bark." Karen offered her a misshaped piece. "It's mixed berry."

"Ooh." She accepted it and nibbled on it. "That's good."

"Thank you." She helped herself to a chuck. "So, how do you feel?"

"A little lousy." She lowered the bark from her mouth. "I think I should stay home. My uh, stomach's all...soft, or something. I might be sick."

"Sick?" She reached over and felt her forehead. "You're a little warm."

"Yeah." She pretended to cough. "I think I shouldn't go out. It might turn into something really bad, and I don't think Coach Williams wants puke all over her gym floor. I mean, I wouldn't."

"No."

"No to...what exactly?"

"To you staying home. I know you're not sick. You take vitamins like the rest of us, and I heard the blow dryer. So go get cleaned up for breakfast, and if you're honest with me about why you don't want to go, maybe I'll let you stay home."

She heaved a sigh. "I'll go get dressed." There was no way she could tell her she didn't want to see the guy she had sex with in three of her classes. She would rather die than ever have to say that to anybody.

––

"Hey." Andrea dug through her locker and smiled at Carol. "You look glum."

"I feel gross." She set a hand on her stomach. "Don't eat yogurt bark for breakfast. I think it's evil."

"Do you want me to take you to the nurse's office?"

"No, I'm okay." She didn't move her hand. "How are you? How's your...life going?"

"Awkwardly."

"Why? What's going on?"

She opened her mouth to reply when Michonne and Lori joined them, she then closed her locker, said she had to talk to the guidance counselor and took off at top speed, and Carol could only frown after her. Michonne and Lori asked happened, and Carol told them she had to speak to guidance counselor, though Carol suspected she knew what was eating at Andrea.

"So, after school today we're going to the mall." Lori leaned against the lockers. "We already did the back to school shopping, but I need to find something to wear on a date."

"You have a date?" Carol's brows shot up. "Since when? And who with?"

"I don't have a date yet, but if I do have a date, I'd like to be prepared." She calmed her sister. "And I haven't gotten to see much of you guys since school ended last year. I spent my summer working, so I just want to hang out and spend some of my savings. Do you want to come with us? Michonne's driving."

"No, thank you. I ate something that set my stomach off, and I might spend my day on a toilet. Let's just hope I'm sitting on it."

"I'd say that was too much information, but honestly, you've shared worse." Michonne unlocked her locker and set her backpack inside, pulling out her gym bag. "We're dressing out again today, but we ought to get our books, so that's a plus."

"I'd rather dress out every day of my life than do book work." Carol groaned at her indigestion. "Or I could be sick the entire period then have Mom take me home. Who knows?"

"Well, you did eat a lot this morning."

"I didn't eat last night."

"You can't skip meals," Michonne cut in before the argument began. "You're a growing teenager. You need to eat three meals a day and a snack."

"Well, she had two meals at breakfast," Lori teased.

"Yeah, eggs and berries don't mix well in my stomach, I think. Or it could have been the salsa."

"Salsa?" Michonne's nose scrunched in milk disgust. "Salsa on what exactly?"

"The eggs." Carol tucked curls behind her ear. "It was really good. A little spicy, but I'd eat it again. Maybe with some sour cream and no yogurt next time."

"You ate the bark on the eggs?" Michonne felt like she'd be sick.

"No, I had the yogurt bark then the eggs and salsa. I hate how boring eggs are, so I try and spice them up. Sasla worked a lot better than the marshmallows."

"Yeah." Lori could still taste the s'more omelet. Biggest mistake of June.

"You two are gross." She shut her locker door. "How are you not puking?"

"I have a strong gut." Carol smiled a little. "I never throw up. Unless I'm drunk. I did throw up a lot after the party."

"I remember. It was almost in my car." She met her eyes. "I'll see you in first. I have to find your mom and ask about try outs. You two should join with me."

"Maybe." Lori looked at Carol. "But maybe not. Carol's not the best dancer."

"Forget dancing. We'd have to do it in front of people, and I have stage fright, remember?" She paled at the thought of it. "I'd probably get out there and drop like a sack of potatoes."

"Oh! Remember the fourt grade play?" Lori giggled. "She was the pumpkin, and the teacher insisted on giving her lines?"

Michonne busted out laughing too. "Oh, and the song. Don't forgot the song!"

Carol grew bitter at them laughing at her expense, but honestly it didn't last long, because in walked Daryl Dixon. He watched her for a moment then scratched his upper lip and continued down the hall to his locker without another backwards glance. If she thought her stomach had calmed even a little, it was roaring back to life right now. Her nerves and guilt and rue weren't helping to ease her churning intestines. She might actually be sick now.

"Did you see that?" Michonne pointed after Daryl. "He...seriously just stared at you."

"Did he stare, or did he check her out?" Lori didn't look back to see if he was still looking. She didn't want to make it obvious.

"A bit of both." Michonne turned to Carol. "I'll talk to your mom later. What was that about?"

"How should I know?" Carol was trying to will herself to throw up. If she threw up, they wouldn't push her to talk. They wouldn't find out what happened about that night. They wouldn't know and think less of her. Honestly, what kind of person has sex with a stranger? At a party? Hell, in the party thrower's parents' bed! Where they probably made the party thrower.

"Carol?" Lori didn't like how pale she'd become, and suddenly Carol was lurching forward, throwing up her breakfast. "Oh!" Gross!

Both girls shot backwards to avoid the chunks, and it was apparent that Carol had indeed had eggs and salsa, even sausage. There was even some visible bits of fruit. If Michonne had a weaker stomach, she might have thrown up too. Andrea definitely would have, and Lori might if her expression was to be believed. Carol didn't just stop with the once, no. She stopped when her entire breakfast was lying in front of end of G start of H's lockers, and then she moaned softly.

"Hey." Michonne caught her arm before Carol fell into her own vomit, and she pulled Carol to the side. "I got you. Lean on me."

"I'm never eating meat again." Lori covered her mouth. "It's pink. Why...?"

"Stop looking at it. Find the janitor, and I'll take Carol to the nurse."

"Yeah." Lori jogged off towards his office.

Michonne half carried Carol towards the nurse's office, and thankfully the girl barely weight ninety bucks wet, and half way there Daryl came up on the other side, locked his arm around her waist and helped Michonne.

"Hey, let go," he told her, and Michonne did. He picked Carol up and adjusted her in his arms. "Just help me with the doors, please."

"Yeah." She opened the doors that lead to the cafeteria and office, her eyes landing on an ashen Carol who had to be too weak from the puking to argue with her about this means of transportation. Michonne wasn't sure why he was suddenly coming to her rescue, but she was grateful. She could hold Carol's weight, but now she could stop by the lounge and get Karen. Karen could take her to the doctor's if she needed it.

"The nurse's office is open," Michonne told him, knocking on the door to the lounge. "I'll get her mom."

He nodded and continued down the hall, ignoring the looks people were giving him, and he stepped inside the nurse's office, finding Jacqui rushing over to him. She opened the door to the exam room, clearing off a wide and cushioned bench for him to put Carol down on, and Daryl gently placed her on it, minding her head.

"What happened?" Jacqui demanded at the same time Karen and Michonne came barreling in.

"Carol." Karen sat by her head, moving it into her lap. "What happened?"

"I don't know. We were talking one minute, and the next she was bent over...heaving everywhere." Michonne explained, "She said she didn't feel well, that she'd mixed the wrong food."

"Wrong food being what exactly?" Jacqui pulled out a thermometer, handing it to Karen to take her daughter's tempature.

Karen felt heat on her forehead as she smoothed her hair back, more heat than from this morning, and she felt guilt eating at her. She told Carol to open her mouth and held the thermometer once it was in place. She lifted her head as Michonne listed off her breakfast, and her eyes fell on the other person in the room.

"What do you have to do with this?" Karen asked him.

"I just uh, saw her get sick, and I saw Michonne tryin' to carry her down here, so I lent her a hand," Daryl replied.

"Well, thank you. I appreciate it." She smiled warmly at him. "But class is about to start, so you oughta to go."

His eyes fell to Carol, but he nodded. "Yeah. Uh, I hope she feels better."

"Thank you."

Daryl departed, and Lori rushed inside, panting and nearly falling. Jacqui made her sit down on the floor and catch her breath, and Jacqui took the thermometer when it began to beep. Carol hadn't spoken, likely her throat was sore, and Karen just wanted to call Axel to take her home. He was off today, so she wouldn't be left alone. Karen would take her, but it was too late to call a substitute. Although she was tempted to say fuck it and take her daughter home anyway.

"She has a low grade fever," Jacqui informed the group. "She probably did just eat the wrong combination of food, but just in case it's something more why don't you take her home and fill her with liquids to avoid dehydration. I'd suggest some rest too. If she doesn't feel better by Friday, take her to your family doctor."

"Okay." Karen smoothed down her hair. "I'll call Axel."

"Uh, Mom." Lori stood up. "Dad went out of town today. He...uh, it's a bit hush hush, but he isn't home."

"What?" Karen groaned. "Why not? What was so important?"

"I dunno. He didn't give me details. He just won't be home."

"Then I'll take her home."

"I'll stay home with her. It's the beginning of school, so I won't miss anything today, and I can take care of her. I can make soup, set up an appointment with Dr. S, and I can ride my bike to the store if she needs anything we don't have at home."

"I can't have you both miss school."

"It's not big deal, Mom. At least for today."

"She's right," Michonne added. "It's just filling in time until we get our books. She won't miss anything."

Karen pressed her lips together and looked to Jacqui.

"We have a meeting after school," Jacqui commented. "And we can't find anyone to fill in for you on such short notice. Morales can watch your class while you take them home, but that's about it."

She sighed. "Okay. Run and get my keys out of my desk, please."

"Right." Lori inhaled and hurried out of the office.

"I'll go to class." Michonne set a hand on Carol's arm. "I'll see you later. I hope you feel better."

Carol smiled weakly and croaked out a thanks.

Karen kissed her temple, Michonne headed out, and soon Lori returned with the keys and her purse. They helped Carol to the car, Carol curled up in the backseat, and Karen gave Lori instructions on how to take care of her. She told her to call if she needed anything or wasn't sure about what Carol might need. Lori knew how to take care of her sister and sick people, but she agreed to make her mom happy and less worried about what would happen for the next eight hours.

They helped Carol to her bedroom, Carol apologized for making her miss her first class and for making Lori miss the whole day, and Karen told her not to worry about it. Things happen, and it would be okay. They would take care of her, and for now, Carol's only job was to rest, to drink fluids and to ultimately get better. They would worry about the root of this sudden bug if she worsened.

"I'll make you some tea before I go." Karen rubbed her arm and kissed her forehead before rising and heading upstairs.

"I'll text Michonne and Andrea to let them know you're home." Lori lied down in bed beside her. "Later, though."

"I'd apologize for making you miss school, but you'd only laugh."

"I'm glad to not be in lecture city, but I'm worried about so it's not a vacation." She searched her eyes. "How are you feeling right now?"

"Tired. Thirsty. My throat's dry, and it hurts."

"Mom's making you tea. I'll add some ice to it so you can drink it right away."

"Not too much. I want it hot, just not scorching."

"You got it, dude."

Carol smiled faintly and buried her face in her pillow for a second. "Daryl carried me to the nurse's office?"

"Yeah. It was really nice of him. I didn't know he was so strong."

"Yeah." He had a lot of muscles.

"I think he's into you."

"What?" Carol's eyes widened. "You're insane."

"Dude, he checked you out then came to your rescue. What else does the guy have to do?"

"Lori, he's not into me. He's just..."

"Just?" Lori prompted.

"Look, he's not. Trust me. He went off on me the other day, and he doesn't like me at all. I think he even hates me. He might have felt guilty, because I was upset, but he so doesn't like me."

"Why did he go off on you?"

"I just... It's complicated."

"You have a complicated relationship with a total stranger?" Lori frowned. "What's going on, Carol?"

Karen entered with the cup of tea and a glass of water. "Don't stop talking on my account."

"I'm about to take a nap, so Lori oughta go anyway." Carol rolled onto her back. "I'll see you tonight. I'm sorry I threw up in the hallway."

"Yeah, Negan's not going to be fond of you for a while, but it's okay." She rubbed her daughter's stomach with her thumb, and Carol had a feeling she did that a lot when Carol was a baby. "Just feel better, okay?"

"I'll try."

Karen reached over and cupped Lori's cheek, giving her girls a final smile and peeling out to hurry back to school. Carol sipped her tea and got ready to take a nap, and Lori climbed the stairs to head upstairs to her bedroom. She would make Carol soup for lunch, and hopefully she would able to receive some answers.

– – –

"So, do you think Carol wants to switch lockers with me now that's claimed the floor in front of mine?" Andrea opened her carton of orange juice. "No?"

"She didn't do it on purpose." Michonne squeezed out barbecue sauce from the plastic package. "She likely has food poisoning, or a severely upset stomach. You didn't hear about all the crap she ate."

"So? She stuffs her face every morning when she skips a meal the night before. This is the first time we've seen it."

"Don't be so rude."

"I'm not. I'm just...a little grossed out. I should be happy my locker's tall, and it was closed, and I am. I really hope she'll be okay." She folded her arms on the table. "Do you think we should stop by her house on the way home?"

"I can't. I have to go by the grocery store on the way home. I can still give you a ride, though. I just can't make a half hour detour. Mom's gonna be waiting on me."

"That's okay. I'll ask my dad to come and pick me up. It's no big deal. He'll probably be glad to get out of the house." She lowered her eyes to her plate of chicken nuggets, fries and a small salad. It didn't look, smell or taste appetizing. She couldn't be sure on the taste. She wasn't thrilled to eat it. She had money to buy some chips and a pack of crackers from the machine, but honestly she wanted to save up. She wanted to go to the first game of the season, and while she could ask her parents for the funds, she wanted to take her friends and then go out for pizza or whatever afterwards. She wanted to have fun this year, do some school activities and just hang out with her friends. Be normal...even though the last thing she felt right now was normal.

"Are you going to eat?" Michonne gestured to her plate.

"No. You can have it. I might pick at the salad."

"Thanks. I missed breakfast. You can guess why."

She laughed, resting her cheek against her knuckles, and she watched Michonne. She had been an odd mood today, but that was to be expected when your best friends blows chucks and nearly faints into it. She didn't know what to know say exactly. She'd known Michonne and Carol since fifth grade, but they'd know each other since first grade. She knew there was a bond there that she couldn't fully understand. Michonne was a like a sister to her by now, and maybe Andrea was too, but honestly she didn't want Michonne to think of her as a sister...

She blushed and turned her gaze away, clearing her throat to try and erase that thought from her memory. She wasn't going to go there. She wasn't going to think about that or what happened at the party. She wasn't. She made Carol promise she wouldn't, and now all there was left to do was forget. She was drunk that night, and it was nothing. It had to be nothing. She couldn't think of her best friend like that. She shouldn't.

"If she's not in school tomorrow, we can go over there then," Michonne's broke through Andrea's harsh thoughts.

"Y—yeah, that'd be great." She messaged her shoulder and cleared her throat. "We can bring her soup."

"Yeah." Michonne smiled at her, and Andrea failed to properly return it. "We can get her those peanut butter crackers she likes."

"I'll pick them up on my way home. I like them too, so if we don't see her I'll just eat them."

"Would you mind sharing? I happen to like them as well."

"Oh, yeah, totally."

She caught the time on the clock on the wall and finished off her drink. "I have to meet with Karen. Or see if she's back so I can meet with her. I'll see you in third."

"I'll walk with you." She hopped up, collecting the empty trays. "It's not like I have anything better to do right now."

Michonne's smile widened. "Okay then."

Andrea trashed the Styrofoam trays and sauntered down the hall towards the Marketing classroom. She could smell Michonne's floral perfume, and she remembered how they spent hours at the mall trying to decide which one to buy. Carol and Lori were dead set on something named after dusk, but Michonne was fond of this subtle floral scent. It suited her very well, and you had to be a close to even really smell it. You caught small whiffs of it, but when you were beside her, it was more potent. It was sort of a sweet scent, but not too overpowering. It was a little...mature, she supposed. It made more sense for her to buy and wear this than the other one that was named after dusk.

Michonne's hand brushed against Andrea's, Andrea looked down, and Michonne grasped her hand and stopped. "We should've taken the long way around."

"Huh?" She lifted her gaze to find Phillip Blake strolling over to them with an all too pleased smile on his lips. If only Carol was here to barf on him.

"Hello, ladies." He rubbed his hands together. "Aren't you two adorable."

"What do you want?" Michonne didn't want linger here with him for longer than she had to.

"Your other friend. Small, red hair, blue eyes?"

"She's sick."

"Oh. That's too bad. I wanted to ask her out."

Andrea scoffed. "Yeah, I'll bet."

"I'm being serious. She's kinda hot. I've been waiting for this since, like, seventh grade. I knew she'd get hot over the summer, but I didn't think it'd take so long." He chuckled. "I'm gonna take her to homecoming, so I might as well ensure nobody else gets the chance to ask."

"There wasn't even a second of that little dialogue that was sweet and deserving of Carol." Michonne stepped closer to him. "If you ask her out, I'll knock your teeth down your throat. In fact—stay away from her."

"Is that a threat?" He leaned down towards her. "If so, I go back to my previous statement. Aren't you just so cute. I'll date who I'll date. If she's lucky, I'll take her out to dinner before I fuck her."

"Not on your life." Andrea glowered. "She won't go out with you. You've bullied her—and us—for years. Her self-esteem isn't that low."

"I'll just to win her over. I'm quite the hero. You'll see."

"I'm sure we will. I bet we'll see her rejecting you." Michonne folded her arms over her chest. "Over and over and over again."

"Guess we'll find out soon." He slipped in between them and traipsed towards the cafeteria.

"Pig." Andrea shook her head. "There's no way we're letting him anywhere near Carol."

"You don't have to tell me that. I'm already trying to figure out how to get his assigned seat moved in our second."

"Let's just go talk to Karen, and we'll figure out how to deal with that creep."

"You want to come over for dinner tonight?" she offered. "We can hang out and talk then."

She nodded. "Yeah! Yes, I'd love to."

"Calm down. It's gonna be about Phillip."

"Well, it's better than my sick sister."

"That's true." She nudged her gently in the ribs. "Come on. We only have fifteen minutes left."

They continued to Karen's classroom, Andrea inhaled and bit her bottom lip, and Michonne was curious to know what Phillip meant by he was quite the hero. Carol didn't need rescuing right now. She needed to get better from being sick. So what did that fucker have up his sleeve?

– – –

They didn't find out the next day at school, nor the week that followed, but it mattered little when Carol was back in school and was cheery as ever. She assured them it was just her anxiety coupled with all of that food that didn't blend well together that made her spew. They were just happy to have her back. She'd missed only two days, and they were now into their third week of their sophomore year. And Michonne had a feeling things were about to get hectic.

Lori and Rick were having breakfast together, giggling over pancake wrapped sausages, and Carol felt a little envious. Lori rarely had to try when it came to talking to people. She just had this way about her, and Carol did not. She knew she would find someone someday, and she wasn't in a rush to find that someone, but it wouldn't be too awful if somebody noticed her. Someone nice and mature and...fictional, because they were in high school. Nobody was nice. Well, that wasn't true, but nobody that wanted to date her was nice.

Andrea sat beside Carol, glaring somewhat at Lori and Rick. She wasn't angry. She didn't have a crush on Rick or anything, but she was jealous. Lori could just approach her crush and flirt and talk and giggle. The thought of Andrea even attempting to flirt with her crush made her stomach hollow out and her guts flee to her throat. She'd probably choke on them if she tried to speak in a flirty way. It wasn't like it was a simple matter either. None of it was simple, and she was so confused and torn, and she felt...so many chaotic emotions. She feared they'd burst through her and hit the one she was trying to avoid the most.

"Hey." Michonne jogged over to them. "Since Sasha has an appointment, we're in study hall with Mrs. Jones' class."

"Awesome." Carol dunked her pancake dog into maple syrup and chomped down onto it.

"I have to go." Andrea collected her books and bolted off.

Michonne frowned. "What was that?"

"She might have to pee. She's been twitching all morning." Carol drank her chocolate milk. "Where do we meet then?"

"In here. She hasn't gotten a classroom yet. It's been used as storage over the summer, so they're moving it into one of the storage rooms. Since we all got our books, the book room has space. They're probably going to purchase portables or something for her classroom."

"How do you even know this? My mom works here, and I don't even know this."

"My dad's company is the kind of the company they hired to install the portables," Michonne replied. "He told me about it this morning. I was curious."

"Right." She nibbled on the now stripped stick. "I could use about two more of these."

"I can get one for you."

"No, but thank you. I don't want a full stomach in case I get sick again." She crossed her legs. "Besides I don't need it."

"Need it?" Michonne's brows furrowed, her mouth flattening into a disapproving line. "Carol, your weight is fine."

"Tell that to my jeans. I can't really fit into them. It's why I'm wearing a skirt, and I had to borrow my mom's sweat pants. The string in mine is knotted up, and I don't want to cut it, because it'll loosen them up too much."

"Well, you look good today. You're just bloated. It happens. It's just that time of the month."

"How do you even know that?"

"We're always lined up. Mine came last night. You?"

"This morning." She nodded. "I'm glad it came too. Kinda freaked me out."

"Why? Were you late last month?"

She shook her head. "It's nothing. I just...thought I counted wrong."

"Well, I doubt you're pregnant. You have to have sex to get pregnant." She smirked. "And you want to wait. I don't see any boys hanging around who ardently love you."

She forced a laugh. "Yeah, no. No...sex for me."

Michonne eyed her, and Carol averted her eyes. She knew there was a story there, but clearly Carol didn't want to talk about it, so they wouldn't. They wouldn't until she was ready. "I'll buy us some chocolate at lunch. It always puts me in a good mood."

She smiled. "Me too."

"C'mon, we got book work today."

"Oh, yay." She stood up, collecting her tray. "I can't wait."

They threw away her tray and weaved through the students to get to their lockers. Michonne noted the snickers and gestures students—mostly the guys—were throwing their way, and she tried to make sense of it. They weren't wearing anything odd, and Carol wore skirts all the time in grade school, so it wasn't anything new. There was no need for all this attention...unless something happened that they didn't know about.

"Andrea." Carol rushed over to her friend.

Michonne was snapped out of her thoughts at the sight of Andrea sobbing by her locker with Shane trying to comfort her. "What happened?"

She shook her head and pulled away from Shane. "I—I have to go." She was gone before they could even blink.

"Andrea..." Carol frowned and whirled around to face Shane. "What the hell happened?"

"You haven't seen it?" His brows shot up. "The whole school's seen it."

"Seen what?" Michonne demanded. "What made her cry like that? Who?"

He pulled his phone out of his pocket. "It's kinda...gross."

"Gross?" Carol's heart began to pound. "What do you mean?"

"Well, it ain't somethin' you'd play in church." He found the group text and played the video for them.

Carol covered her mouth with her hand at the sight, and Michonne saw red. She knew exactly who was to blame for this. That motherfucker.

It was a video of the party that took place at the end of the year. It was images of students partying, but mostly it was close up shots of students making out or groping. Carol lost all color when she saw herself and Daryl making out the couch. You couldn't make out his face due to his hair being in his face, but people wouldn't care when she was letting him grind against her or run his hands over her body. She felt sick all over again and hot tears burned in her eyes at the number of people who'd seen this.

The part that made Andrea cry was the last shot of the video. It made Carol look even worse. They had gotten plastered that night, and it didn't mean anything. It was just all the wine coolers and beer, and Andrea had taken some little pill to just try it once. She was drunk and high, and Carol was drunk. It happened between the kitchen and going back to the couch with Daryl. It was brief, and it meant nothing, but there was it in full color with HD quality: Andrea kissing Carol. Unlike the other shots this was just a photo, so nobody knew it was quick, and they laughed it away. Andrea even apologized the next morning. She didn't want to talk about it, so they didn't, but now it wasn't just between them. The whole school knew, and the labelling would begin. Carol was a slut, plain and simple, but Andrea was on the line between slut and lesbian.


	4. The Secrets That You Keep

_**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**_

– – –

Carol bawled her eyes out in the bathroom, Michonne held her and tried to comfort her, but there was little point. Michonne didn't care what was on some video. She knew Carol better than anybody. She didn't care, and the rest of the school would get over it. It would take time, and some of the guys might harass her, but Michonne would be by her. Lori and Karen too. She wouldn't walk down those halls alone.

"It'll be okay." Michonne handed her some toilet paper to blow her nose in.

"No, it won't. Andrea's run off, and everyone keeps starting at me." Her blue eyes seemed to glow against the red, and her voice was raw. "I can't tell my mom. I just can't."

"You have to."

"No!"

"Carol, whoever did this had no right do this. Karen can—"

"I just want to home. I don't want to think about this." She interrupted her. "I'm sorry. I'm not like you. I can't just fight... Not yet."

She nodded. "But what will you tell your mom?"

"I bled through my pad. She'll let me go home." She hugged herself. "I'll have Dad pick me up."

She embraced her. "I'll call Andrea."

"Please, do. I have to know she's okay, and she won't answer if I call her." She held Michonne tightly. "Tell her I'm so sorry."

"It wasn't your fault."

She shuddered and buried her face in her shoulder. "Am I slut?"

"No. No way." She rubbed her back. "You're just Carol. You're not anything else."

"Carol?" Lori stormed into the bathroom and saw her and Michonne. "Oh, I found you." She hurried over and joined the hug. "I'm so sorry. I saw the video. Shane found us."

"How can this be happening?" Carol pulled away and buried her face in her hands. "I knew I shouldn't have gone to that stupid party."

"It'll be okay. We'll tell Mom and the principal. We'll find whoever did this, and we'll make them pay for it. I don't know if it was illegal or anything, but it shows minors drinking and smoking. There has to be some penalty for that."

"No! No, we can't tell Mom or Dad or anybody."

"We have to, Carol. We can't let them get away with it, and if you recall, you weren't the only one on that video. There were other girls who might tell their parents. Do you want our parents to be the last to know?"

She whimpered. "I don't want my dad to see it."

"He won't think less of you. He'll understand. It was just a friendly kiss with Andrea. She was high as all hell, and... Well, I dunno what exactly happened between you and that guy, but it was just making out. Dad knew you were gonna do that one day." She tried to smile reassuringly at her sister, but it didn't seem to work. "We'll get it worked out. I promise."

"Tell that to Andrea." She wiped at her eyes. "Tell that to my reputation. If any of the teachers see... God, I might as well transfer right now."

"Carol, you can't be serious." Lori studied her. "Tell me you're not serious."

"Why shouldn't I be? My life—my school life—is ruined here. Do you really think this will just go away? Honestly? I'm gonna have a target on my back for the rest of my life here. Andrea too. Nothing will change that." She shook her head and stormed out of the bathroom, bumping into someone. "Sorry."

"Don't worry about it—Oh, are you all right?" It was Phillip.

She averted her eyes. "Do you want to say something to me now? Some cruel remark? Oh, that slut, perhaps? Or maybe you're such a dirty little whore? Hmm? Want to comment on my clothes? Or my best friend?"

He shook his head. "No. I don't."

Tears filled her eyes. "So I'm just so pathetic now that even you don't want to hit me when I'm down?"

"Carol..." He embraced her. "I'm so sorry this happened. You deserved better."

She didn't want his comfort, but honestly she craved to be held by anybody. Michonne, Lori, her mom, even Phillip. She hated being vulnerable. God, could this day get any worse?

"It'll be okay. I'll find out who did this." He rubbed her back tenderly. "They won't get away with it."

"How did this even happen?" she wailed, the sound muffled by his chest.

"We'll find out. I promise."

She snuffled and inhaled shakily, carefully stepping out of his arms. "Why are you being nice to me?"

He smiled at her. "Because."

"Because...?" She studied him. "Do you think you'll be able to have sex with me? I made out with a guy and girl, so I must be that easy? You hug me, and then that's it?"

"No, no. God, no, that's not what I want. Honest. I just want to help. I meant what I said about you not deserving this. You or Andrea. I know I'm not the good guy in this story, but let me help. I want to."

"How could you possibly help me?"

"I'll find the source. I'll figure out who made the video and bust 'em. It shouldn't be too hard. I am the most popular guy in school. I have some money. I'll find him or her or them. Trust me."

"After eleven years of you bullying me? How do I know _you_ didn't do this?"

"You don't, but trust me to correct this. If I fail, I'll walk through the school in a speedo."

She didn't laugh.

"Okay, I should work on my jokes." He smiled a little wider and lifted her chin. "Want me or not, I'll fix this."

"Bet you well." That gruff voice came from behind them.

Carol saw Daryl standing a few feet away, and she crossed her arms protectively around herself. "Why are you here?"

"I got to school here, don't I?" He approached the pair, and Phillip excused himself, swearing once more to help clear her reputation and cleaning up this mess. "You can't seriously trust him."

"Of course not. I'm not stupid, only a whore apparently."

"You're not a whore." He gripped his backpack strap. "I was your first, and even if I wasn't, you're not a whore. You just have bad luck."

She weakly and tearfully chuckled once. "Is that supposed to make me feel better?"

"Not really. It's a fact. Do what you want with it." He swallowed. "I gotta get to class. You comin'?"

"God, no. I just want to go home."

"And do what? Cry? Hide your face? Can you do that the rest of the year? Next year and your senior year too?"

"Maybe. I could transfer to another school."

"You're just gonna run?"

"It's easy for you," she snapped. "People can't even tell it's you with that mop on your head! And even if they knew it was you, you'd be celebrated."

"'Cause you're such a prize."

"You know exactly what I mean. If you wanted, you could step up and say it was you, tell them what we did. They'd probably high five you or something."

"I don't want praise. I didn't do it for praise. What happened was between us, and I want it kept between us. I don't want anybody to know."

"Do you regret it too? Or are you ashamed to have slept with me?"

"No." He shook his head. "But what happens with me in a bedroom, stays there."

"Apparently not. The whole school will probably start rumors with me and this guy. It'll get out how far we went. It's just a matter of time." She had gone from upset to angry to numb. She was tired from crying, concerned about her best friend, and honestly she just wanted to go home. "It wasn't like we were careful."

"I locked the bedroom door. Nobody knew or is gonna know."

"See, now I think you're ashamed of what happened."

"Look, I just don't want the world to know my business. You can have a pity party all you want, but don't make assumptions about me, okay? I happened to like it. You hated it. You regret it. You wish it never happened, but not me." He scoffed. "Sometimes I seriously wonder why the fuck I had a crush on you."

She gaped. "You—you what?"

"Tsk. Goodbye, Carol." He walked away.

"Big day for you." Lori stepped out of the bathroom. "A crude video is spread around, and you find out Daryl likes you. Or liked you."

"It doesn't matter. I just want to find Mom and go home."

"Okay. I'll walk with you. Michonne's gone to class." She looped her arm through Carol's. "I won't let anyone talk crap about you or Andrea."

"I know."

"So, let's find Mom with our head held high. They can eat our dust."

"It's hard to hold your head up high when you've spend half an hour crying in the bathroom, and it's obvious."

"So? Fuck 'em." She didn't saw the response she wanted in her sister's eyes. "We'll take the long way around, avoid them. How does that sound?"

"Thank you."

"Of course."

– – –

"What's wrong?" Amy, who had come home early to deal with an "ear infection", asked her sister who came blowing through the kitchen. "Andrea?"

"I don't want to talk about it." She slammed her bedroom door shut and buried her face in her hands, no longer slowing the tears in her eyes, and she crumbled down onto the floor.

"Andrea." Amy followed her to her room. "Hey, talk to me."

"Go away!"

"No. You're upset. What happened? Was it that jackass Blake?"

"Go away, Amy!"

"No." She set her palms on the door. "Not until you talk to me."

Andrea didn't say anything more. She pulled her legs in and hugged herself tightly, leaning her head back against the door. She couldn't believe this was happening. She couldn't believe she'd been stupid enough to let this happen. She wasn't the type to drink or go to parties. It was her first, just like Carol and Michonne and Lori. It was an unsupervised high school party, and she knew right then she probably shouldn't attend.

But it was the last party of that school year. She had never been invited to one before. She was just some lame freshmen blimp, and all of a sudden Tobin was approaching them and asking them to come. He was so nice about it. He genuinely seemed to want them there, and of course Lori assured him they'd be there. God, she was even flirting with him. She had her eyes on Rick Grimes even back then, so it didn't mean anything, but still. She basically flirted her way into this party. Well, they were already invited, but it felt like that sealed the deal. They were in, because of Lori and her seductive grin. Or maybe because Tobin was just a nice guy and wanted them to get to know everyone else in their school.

She was a little uncomfortable. Compared to the calm birthday party they'd gone to last week, it really shook her a bit. She wasn't the party type, and honestly that made itself apparent that night. She drank and even took something. She didn't know what it was, but she was so fucked up. She had a good time, and nothing happened to her. She had Michonne come to her rescue when she nearly did something stupid, and it made her realize that maybe when she kissed Carol, she'd just aimed for the wrong set of lips, not the wrong sex.

She dragged a hand through her hair. She'd known that maybe she had feelings for girls a long time ago. She never addressed it. Her father wouldn't let her date anyway, not until she was sixteen, so she didn't bother trying to work it out. She assumed it was normal. Or sort of normal. She spent her entire day with a group of girls, and she loved all of them. They were her best friends, and sometimes...she made Andrea feel fuzzy knots in her stomach. She couldn't ignore it all the time, and it all just came to a head that night. She had to act on her feelings. She had to let her know.

Sadly she somehow kissed Carol. It must have been the pill she'd taken, because she could have sworn... "Ugh." She slammed her fist into the door. If there was ever a moment in time when she felt comfortable with this, she would have come out on her own. She would have made that choice and let people know her way. She didn't want this to happen. She wanted to have it figured out. She wanted to be okay with it, but she wasn't. Being...gay was...okay. She'd accepted it a long time ago, and it was a part of her, but what wasn't okay was this stupid two year long crush she had on her friend. One of her best friends. Being gay was okay, and it wouldn't ruin their friendship, but this crush? It would obliterate it.

"Talk to me," Amy's voice came through again. "Please, Andrea."

She gasped softly, tears rolling down her cheeks, and she bit her bottom lip. "Go away," she whined.

"Not until you tell me what's going on," Amy pleaded. "I'm home, because I'm faking an ear infection. Why are you home? Are you faking an illness too? Period cramps? Or...is it something more serious?"

She stopped breathing for a moment.

"Is it about the video?"

Andrea whimpered. "You—you saw it?"

Amy lowered her head. "Beth showed it to me."

"Oh, my God." She felt fresh tears boil up in her eyes. "This is so embarrassing."

"No, it's not. I mean, it sorta is, but it's okay. Whatever...it meant, it's okay." Amy stared at the door. "Please, Andrea, it's okay with me. I'll keep it a secret if you want. I'll—I'll say it was someone else. You can hardly tell it's Carol, and it's a side shot, so it's hard to tell it's you."

"No, no, no, no, no." She buried her face in her thighs. "This can't be happening."

"But it is, and it's okay. I promise."

"It's not okay!"

"It is okay!" Amy hit the door. "What's not okay is that you're hiding from me! From it! I've always known, Andrea, and I don't care. Our parents won't care. The video had a lot of people in it. I doubt anyone cares—"

"I care, Amy! I care! I think that's enough."

"What do you care about? A side shot that's barely recognizable? Or...is it the fact that you're—"

"Amy, I don't want to talk about this. Not with you, or our parents. You should be at school."

"So should you."

"You're so aggravating! Just leave me alone."

"Fine, but I will be back. And we will talk about this."

Andrea hung her head and squeezed her eyes shut, sobbing softly in silence. She knew this would show itself. She knew she couldn't hide forever. Hiding her sexuality wasn't at all an issue—Amy was right that their parents would understand, that it'd okay whatever it meant—but being...in love with Michonne wasn't. There was no avoiding her, and there was no more running. She'd have to confront her friends—and her feelings—eventually, and if she was going to do it then, damn it, it'd be on her own terms. Fuck whoever made that video. She didn't want to be thrown out on her face, but now that she was out or had her toes out, she wasn't going to stay hidden. She wouldn't do that to herself anymore, and if Carol could handle the hell she'd get, it was only fair that Andrea handle her own too.

––

Daryl hadn't seen Carol the rest of yesterday's school day or this morning in gym, but he saw Phillip joking around and making comments about what was on the video. He knew that asshole was up to no good. He didn't deserve to be anywhere near Carol, let alone attempting to be her high school hero. The guy made him absolutely sick. He just wanted in her pants.

Daryl wasn't possessive of a girl that wasn't his girlfriend or even his friend, but there was no way in hell he was going to let Phillip anywhere near her. He didn't care about her rep or his own, but he wasn't going to let Phillip try and repair it when he likely dropped the bomb that obliterated it. No way in hell. He wouldn't see Carol with that creep, and while he knew she knew Phillip was a creep, Carol was in a vulnerable state from the video and the comments going around. He didn't want to see her be pushed into that asshole's arms. She was smarter than that, but...he wanted to make damn sure that wasn't going to happen.

"Hey." Michonne tossed a ball at him, and he caught it. "Nice reflexes."

"What'd you want?" He tossed the ball aside.

"My partner's out, so Sasha said to hook up with you." She put her hands on her hips. "So here I am. We have laps."

"Tsk, not today."

"When would you like to do them? Today? Tomorrow? All week? Because if you try and skip, she'll run you into the ground."

"I have better things to do than ran laps around the track."

"Like what?" She stepped closer. "Does it have to do with that video?"

"What it is doesn't concern you."

"It does if it's that damned video." Her dark eyes burned into his. "If you know who released it, or you can find out who did it, count me in. I want to meet the prick that did this."

"Why? I get Carol and Andrea are your friends, but why? Can't just you be there to support them?"

"I can still be here for them and find this prick," she retorted. "And why do you care? You like Andrea? Or Carol? Hmm?"

"No, I don't like Andrea."

She smirked. "So you like Carol then? I know it was you with her in the video."

Icy eyes sliced into hers. "How?"

"The vest. You were wearing it when I came to pick up my report card at the end of the year. And you're not denying it."

"Why should I deny the truth?"

"Well, you're better than Phillip in that regard." She inhaled. "So, how are you going to find out who did this?"

"That's for me to know, and for you to find out."

"I can help."

"You can help by tryin' to talk your friends into comin' back to school. This class is like a damn ghost town with the girls on that vid out. I'll find out who released it, and you talk 'em into comin' back. It's hard to make myself scarce when the class is scarce."

"I'll stop by Andrea's on my way on. Carol's a different story. I don't know if I can get her to come back to school."

"Try."

"Fine, but you better get results. Nobody gets to hurt my two best friends without some kind of karma coming their way."

He smirked back at her now. "That's how I feel."

"Oh, Carol and Andrea are your best friends?"

"Nah, just gonna deal a little justice myself if karma doesn't do it quick enough."

She chuckled. "Who would have thought I'd see eye to eye with Daryl Dixon."

"Who would have thought I'd be talkin' to Carol's best friend." He sighed.

"So, how long have you liked her?" Michonne mused.

"How long have you liked her?" he retorted.

"What does that even mean?"

"I gotta go." He ducked out of doorway when Sasha turned her back to the class, and he knew exactly which of Phillip's goons to take a shot at first.

Michonne was about to follow him out the door when Sasha called to her and asked where her partner was. She quickly lied and fell into place with the others. She'd cover for him. He was doing this for Carol, and that would bring justice to both Carol and Andrea. It would have to be enough. The teachers likely wouldn't catch wind of this until it was dead, so it would have to be up to Daryl and her. Mostly Daryl at this point in time, but when he found out who, Michonne would be there. Nobody made her best friends cry like that. God only knows what it did to the other girls in the video.

––

"What's going on?" Axel stood in Carol's bedroom, his daughter curled up as small as possible on the mattress, and he had no idea why. She was supposed to be at school. Lori said they'd catch the bus, but he heard sniffling and found her like this. He didn't like that Lori had lied to them, or that Carol was here in bed instead of in school. He didn't know what the hell was going on with these girls, but he was going to find out. One girl at a time. He wouldn't let this rebellious phase win.

"I'm sick." She sniffled.

"You're not sick."

"I am. It's highly contagious. Don't come any closer." She pointed to the waste basket at the far end of the bed. "I threw up in there."

He inhaled and decided to humor her, checking the trashcan, and he groaned in disgust to find actual vomit inside. "Okay, so you got sick. Doesn't mean you're currently sick." He pushed by the can and sat on the bed, reaching out to test her temperature.

"Dad, I threw up. Doesn't that give me at least one day out of school?"

"Not when you've already missed days," he replied. "It's not even the second six weeks, Carol."

"I'll be late."

"So, you'll still have gone. It'll count as tardy, not an absence." He studied her. "Why are you trying to miss school?"

"I'm not trying." She sat up. "Dad, I threw up. I am sick. I don't understand why you don't believe me. Do want to watch me vomit or something?"

"I don't doubt that you're not feeling well, but there is something else going on here. Andrea's dad called, said she wasn't feeling well today, so she didn't go to school. She also missed half of school yesterday, and so did you. I know it's not your period. You tend to live off of Midol and ice cream, but you haven't touched either." He set a hand over hers. "You can talk to me, Carol."

"There's nothing to talk about." She lowered her eyes. "I'll stop missing school after this. I promise."

"Good. Now I'll go spray down this trashcan, and you can go make us some soup. I'll handle the grilled cheese, and we'll watch a movie."

She smiled. "Thanks, Dad."

"Don't thank me. Thank the fact that I haven't eaten breakfast, and I have a weakness for soup and grilled cheese." He smiled softly at her. "And if you want to talk, you know you can talk to me."

"I know, but there isn't anything to say. Just dumb school stuff." She slipped off the bed. "I'm gonna start that soup."

"I'll be up in a minute." His eyes fell on the trashcan, his cringing frown followed, and he stood up to take it out. Next time he'd made the soup, and she could clean up his or her or her mom's or Lori's puke. But she was the one who was under the weather, so he would do it. At least to avoid this puke making her puke more.

Carol stopped at the top of the stairs, hearing her dad groan, and she chuckled, covering her mouth. Grandma's funky pea soup strikes again. She told Lori it worked like a charm. She would apologize about the food waste, but it was nearly out of date anyway. Honestly, they needed to start going grocery shopping soon, or they'd all starve to death. Carol was starving right now. Breakfast wasn't filling, and she wanted chicken wings, not soup, but she would wait until dinner to ask for those. Maybe they could get pizza and chicken wings. Loads and loads of dripping hot wings.

"Uh, Carol?"

She turned her head slightly to find her dad eyeing her. "What's up?"

"You're drooling."

She blushed and slapped a hand over her mouth. "What?"

He snorted. "Just get a napkin and let me cook."

She dropped her hand. "Dad!"

"What? There's no one else here." He carried the trashcan to the door. "You used to drool all the time when it was just the two of us."

"I was two."

"And adorable." He smiled fondly. "When you have a kid, you'll understand how important moments like these are."

"Well, right now they're super embarrassing, and it's just the two of us." She inhaled. "I'll make lunch. You have your hands full."

"All right."

Thy got to work on their individual tasks, Axel picked out a movie he normally played when one of the girls were sick, and Carol prepared lunch. They sat down in the living room _, The Princess Bride_ playing on the TV, and Carol felt queasy again. This time it didn't make any sense. She wasn't nervous or anything, just...eating with her dad. She hadn't over eaten. She was still working on her grilled cheese, but there was something upsetting her stomach.

Axel lowered his spoon into his bowl of soup. "You smell that?"

"Too clearly." She covered her nose.

He stood up. "Who's cooking out at this hour? It's barely noon." He checked out the window and found the house next door that had been for sale for the past month with a moving truck out front and the grill going in the yard. "We have neighbors."

Carol hopped up and moved to check it out. They were plenty of movers, an older man was feeding them, and Carol spotted a guy around her age and his mom handing out drinks. The guy was almost cute, with dark hair and light dusting of a beard. He wore a white t-shirt and jeans, his dark eyes squinted due to the pre-noon Georgia sun, and he was instructing the movers.

"Peletier Movers," Axel read from the side of the truck. "Huh."

"Should we greet them?" Carol peeked at him.

"No, that's what your mom's for. I don't greet neighbors. They'll probably be out in a month."

"Wanna bet?"

He smirked. "You got twenty bucks?"

"I do."

"What's your bet?"

"Hmm, two months."

"Okay. We'll find out who wins."

They shook on it and returned to their move, Carol had lost her appetite at the scent of so much meat being grilled, and Axel helped himself to her meal, save for the soup. They watched the movie to the credits, Axel found his daughter sound asleep beside him, and he shut it off, cleaning up the dishes and covering her with a blanket. He kissed her forehead and decided to check in on work. He had time now. He knew he shouldn't work on his day off, but he was working towards a promotion that would make his career. He really wanted it, but if he got it, a lot would change. He didn't want to rock the boat, but it was his dream, and he'd take it in a hot second if offered. Karen would just have to understand. Their agreement...meant the world to him; however, he couldn't—he wouldn't let it ruin his dreams.

– – –

Daryl waited outside the bowling alley for Milton to get off work, taking a long drag off his cigarette, and he glanced up when he heard the door slam shut. He pushed off the wall and caught up to the kid, slapping a hand down hard on his shoulder, and the kid jumped nearly out of his skin.

"What do you want?" he whirled around. "Dixon?"

"It's Daryl." He blew smoke into his face. "Milton, right?"

"I don't do anyone's homework anymore. If you need a passing grade, take it up with someone else."

"I'm not here about a passing grade. I do just fine in school." His eyes bored holes into Milton's pale and sweaty face. "You made that video."

"What video?"

"Don't play dumb. You're too smart to do it well."

He swallowed. "I didn't make it."

"You did. I know it was sent from your phone."

He shook his head. "N—no, it didn't. I wasn't even at that party."

"You're Phillip's lackey. You were there." He flicked ashes from his cigarette onto the ground, Milton's eyes moved to the lit cigarette, and Daryl saw him pale. "You're also on the yearbook staff, so you have access to all of that camera equipment."

"It was an end of year party. What good would those photos do me anyway? People were drinking and getting high, among other things. It wouldn't have been allowed in the yearbook."

A cold smirk crossed Daryl's lips. "Now how do you know they were drinkin' and getting high if you weren't there?"

Milton gulped. "Okay, so I was there. Everybody was there. That doesn't mean I did anything."

"Phillip asked you to, though, didn't he?"

"No. You have this so backwards. I didn't do anything wrong. I minded my own business." He glared now. "You and Carol were on the couch. I was one of the kids you shooed away. After that I went upstairs to wait until Phillip was ready to leave."

"Upstairs?"

"Yeah, I wanted to wait in Tobin's room, but it was already occupied, so I had to wait in the hall." He smirked a little. "You and Carol made yourselves at home in his parents' bedroom."

"And if you mention that to anybody, it'll be the last thing you say for a long while, because I'll break your damn jaw," he snarled, and Milton's smile instantly dried up. "And as for the video, I know it was doctored."

"What?" His brows knitted together, and he tried to argue.

"It was yours, and it was doctored. Half of that shit wasn't even real." He raised his hand, the cigarette in plain sight, and Milton began to realize what it was Daryl wanted from him. "Tomorrow's when you're gonna let your mouthy little perverted friends know the truth, all right? And if you don't...you'll more than regret it."

"Why do you care? People can't even tell it's you." He didn't take his eyes off the lit tip of the cigarette. "And even if they could...Carol's hot. It wouldn't damage your reputation. People are already scared of you. They wouldn't say anything."

"It's not about me."

"Then her? What, you actually have feelings for her?" He nearly laughed. "Do you really think it'll work out? Everyone knows who you are, what you're capable of—obviously—and everyone knows how sweet and polite Carol is. She won't date you or be with you. You're not her type."

"And who is? You? Phillip?"

"No, he's not, but he's trying to be."

Daryl clenched his jaw. "What?"

"He wants her, so he released the video using my phone to try and play hero. I didn't have much of a chance to fight it. I didn't want that to happen. I like Carol. She's always been...a good person, and she didn't deserve that. Neither did the other girls in the video."

"That's why this happened? He wants in her pants?"

"Phillip gets what he wants," was all Milton said in response.

"You like her, don't you?" Daryl ran his eyes over the underclassman's face, recognizing the anger and jealousy flashing in his dark eyes. "Carol. You have actual feelings for her."

"Well, don't you?" he ground out. "You weren't the only one who had class with her last year. I was in that third period. You watched her all the time."

He averted his eyes. "Wasn't like that."

"You singled her out at the party. It was like that. It took you half a school year to talk to her, and when you did, you didn't waste any time, did you?" He scoffed. "Do you even know how to date?"

"Are you mad I didn't date the girl, or that I got there first?" he snapped. "You had time to make your move, and you didn't."

"My move involved more than sleeping with her," he retorted. "You didn't even respect her enough to get to know her first. You just...filled her with booze and screwed her upstairs in someone else's bed during a party. So classy."

He ground his teeth. "What I did or didn't do doesn't concern you."

"I was there when she left the house. She was wearing your vest."

"If you like her, you'll keep that to yourself."

"And I have this entire time. I like Carol and respect her. I wouldn't do that to her. I wouldn't use this video to win her over either. I guess guys like you and Phillip can't just ask a girl out. You have to play some part and seduce her for one thing."

Daryl dropped the cigarette and yanked Milton up by his shirt collar. "It wasn't like that, asshole. You don't know what I feel or felt for her, so shut your fucking mouth. I'm not like Phillip. I'm not like you. If you wanna be bitter about moves you didn't make then be bitter, but don't you dare make assumptions about me."

"So, you'll fuck her then date her?" Milton strained. "How's that better?"

Daryl dropped him and scoffed. "Just tell those assholes it was doctored, and don't make me have to find you again."

"Then don't get pissed when I ask her out."

Daryl halted and turned to gaze at the kid. "Excuse me?"

"I'm going to ask Carol out. This weekend. Don't "come and find me" then, all right?" He watched Daryl storm off towards a motorcycle, and he rested a hand on his neck, exhaling. He doubted he'd have the guts to even speak to her, let alone have her say yes, but he had to see Daryl squirm after what he just did. Asshole.

He sat up and watched the upperclassman speed off, and he chuckled bitterly. If Daryl paid any attention in that class, he'd know that Carol also spent half the semester watching him when he wasn't watching her.

––

It was early Thursday morning when Carol returned to school, and she had to stop by attendance to get her parent's note turned in a school note to show her teachers. She hated how she had to get their signature on it, but the last teacher had to keep it. It was their responsibility then, and she trusted Douglas to get the job done. He was very responsible. Plus he was so cool and down to earth, and he was already Carol's favorite's teacher.

She heard voices coming from the math wing around the corner and dreaded passing, so she pressed her back against the lockers and waited to hear what was being said about her. She held her breath.

"Did you hear? Milton said it was doctored." Paula scoffed. "That's total bullshit, you know. It wasn't. She was all over that guy—and girl."

"Milton's pretty good with computers though," another kid reasoned. "He could have done it and made it look legit."

"I was at that party, all right? I know Carol was too. She was the only one stupid enough to wear that ugly purple hoodie. Y'know, the one that looks like she gutted Barney?"

"That doesn't mean he couldn't have edited around her." It was a new voice, one Carol didn't expect to hear fighting for her defense. "His April fools day vid prank was so real the cops were nearly called."

She rolled her eyes. "Okay, whatever."

"And don't you have better things to do than pick on some underclassman?"

She smiled seductively at the broody junior. "Why don't you make me forget about that underclassman?"

Daryl smirked at her. "Maybe. Do you have plans this Saturday?"

Carol's heart stopped beating. It had been racing with trepidation at Paula and her friend talking about her, but at Daryl defending her it began to race for an entirely different reason. However hearing the guy she'd slept with in June asking her enemy out nearly crushed it. She didn't love him. She didn't even like him, but she had given him part of herself nobody else had, and there he was...ready to move onto someone new. Someone new who continued to torment her.

"Not anymore."

"Well, I gotta work, so that's too bad." He shrugged. "I bet Phillip'll be free though."

"When are you gonna stop teasing me? I'll only wait so long."

"When are you gonna take me on my word and accept that I'm just not interested?"

"Oh, Daryl, why wouldn't you be? We both know you have a soft spots for redheads." She ran her eyes over him. "So stop fighting and come out with me."

"Not interested." He walked off, rolling his eyes and rounding the corner, heading towards the guidance office. He had college plans, and he wanted to get started on them. He wouldn't ruin his life like Merle. He wanted to go places, and he wanted to become someone. He wouldn't become that someone with Paula in his life, so he kept walking.

Carol watched Daryl stroll down the hallway, smiling a little to herself at his efforts to clear her name, and she turned to continue towards the attendance office. She couldn't help the warmth that blossomed in her chest at his words, and she gripped her binder tighter, her smile growing. Perhaps he wasn't so bad after all.

Once she'd gotten her note from Mary, she collected her books and gym bag from her locker. Elated from Daryl's words and from how easily Paula had given up, she damn near skipped to first period. She came to a halt at the sight of Andrea and almost dropped everything to tackle her in a tight embrace.

"Carol." She backed up. "You're back today, too?"

"Yeah." She didn't step any closer. "How are you feeling?"

"Like I'm being stared at."

"Yeah, I heard some people talking about me just now. Apparently, it's going around that the video was doctored."

"Who started that?"

"Milton, I think."

"But we know it wasn't." She took a step towards her friend. "You and that guy, you and me. It happened."

"It did, but the whole school doesn't need to know about it. It won't happen again."

"It will."

"No." She wouldn't be having sex with Daryl Dixon ever again, or with anybody ever again. Not until she was married.

"Carol, I'm gay," she blurted, and Carol stared. "And I will kiss another girl again. Possibly several girls. I don't know. I only have the one mind, but I doubt that'll work."

Silence spilled into the space around them, Andrea regretted her choice in telling Carol about this, and Carol was just staring at her. She knew Carol was likely thinking over all of their sleepovers and birthday parties and shopping trips where they went into each other's changing rooms to help zip up a dress or squeeze out of a skirt. She had to be thinking how a look or a touch meant something more. It didn't. Andrea thought of Carol as family. She was like the sister she always wanted but didn't quite get with Amy. She would never want to make Carol uncomfortable like that, but of course Carol probably wouldn't want anything to do with her. Why would she? Andrea kept this a secret for so long...

"You finally said it." Carol laughed and hugged her. "I'm so proud of you."

"You knew?!" Andrea exclaimed.

"You're my best friend, Andrea. I've known you for forever. Of course I knew." She released her and grinned at her. "I'm so proud of you right now. Wow."

"I spent the entire day yesterday working on how to break this to you, and—and you already fucking knew? Why the hell didn't you say anything?"

"It was your battle. You had to choose when to tell me, so I let you. I had no right trying to urge you to say it." She set a hand on her shoulder. "I'm glad you told me. How did your parents take it?"

"Those fuckers already knew too. Amy figured it out." She folded her arms over her chest. "I'm starting to wonder why I didn't know you all knew."

"Some of us can keep a secret." She giggled. "And it's easier for us. It doesn't change everything for us."

She inhaled. "It is gonna change everything, isn't it?"

"Not me. I'm here for you." She dropped her hand from Andrea's shoulder to her hand and gripped it. "I'm gonna be here for you through everything."

She smiled. "That's why I love you."

"I love you too." She hugged her again. "And if anyone gives you crap, let me know, okay? I'll sic Lori on them."

She laughed and felt her eyes burn. "I will."

"Good." She let her go. "Don't cry."

She couldn't help it. She knew both of them would be okay with her being a lesbian, but she knew Michonne wouldn't be okay with the second part of her confession. She'd just solidified one friendship to turn around and demolish another. She wasn't sure she could do it, but she couldn't be out and keep this to herself. She just couldn't. It'd be like living in another closet. She couldn't handle that. So she had to drop this bomb and crush her own heart with it.

"Hey, what's wrong now?"

Andrea shuddered at the sound of Michonne's voice and felt her hand brush across her shoulders. "Oh, God."

"I'll let her tell you. I have to talk to Sasha." She squeezed Andrea's hand one more time then peeled out to give them time to talk before the bell rang.

"Is it about the video?" Michonne inquired. "Because it'll blow over. It already is. People are starting to think it's fake, and we're getting a couple new students, so that's big news right now."

"It's not entirely about the video." She calmed herself and inhaled deeply, trying to keep from crying like a baby. She was going on sixteen. She'd was soon to be an adult. She could handle this. She could.

"You can tell me anything. You know that." She dropped her hand and faced her. "You don't have to—"

"I'm gay," she interrupted her. "You probably already knew that. Carol did. Amy did. My parents even." She couldn't stop. If she stopped, it was all over, and it'd never be said. She couldn't carry this any longer. She couldn't. "And what's...bothering me about it is..." The tears were overwhelming her, and she couldn't speak. She couldn't lose her best friend. "Michonne..."

They used to trade lunches in fourth grade, because Dad always forget Andrea couldn't stand peanut butter, and he always made her pb and j's, and Michonne would give up whatever her mom. Mostly turkey and some type of cheese. They would even trade chips and sometimes drinks. They got so used to trading that Michonne added some goodies she knew Andrea would like, and Andrea had Dad use chunky peanut butter since it was Michonne's favorite. She would even sneak in some chocolate-covered pretzels or bananas or whatever they had chocolate-covered. Their parents caught on around sixth grade, and they kept it going to please them.

They used to trade clothes in seventh grade since Michonne's mom didn't like her to wear dresses or skirts when it was "cold", and Andrea loved the boots Michonne picked out, but her mom wouldn't let her wear boots or heels. They were in seventh grade, and Andrea didn't really shoot up until eighth, so she barely had legs for boots, but she still traded with Michonne in the bathroom before school and again after.

They used to do a lot of things, like going to fairs and sharing lip gloss and makeup and secrets and trying to figure out what was up with Carol or who had an extra pad/tampon from last month. She was using "used to" as past tense because they were kids then, and she felt like once she spoke again "used to" would be how she would describe their relationship from now on. She didn't want that. She was so scared. Gay changed her life, and these feelings would change Michonne's.

God, she couldn't imagine how awkward it'd be to hang around Lori and Carol and Michonne after this. They would likely drift apart, and they wouldn't recover. How could they? Honestly, this was a landmine, and there was no gentle way to say it. This wasn't a gentle change. None of this was.

"Andrea." Michonne pulled her into her arms, and Andrea broke down crying even more. She wrapped her arms around her shoulders and held her. She let her cry, ignoring any looks any passing students gave them, and she comforted her. "I'm here for you, Andrea. I love you."

"But...but I—I..." She couldn't say it. She physically couldn't say it.

"It's okay. I know."

"No, you don't."

"Yes, Andrea, I do know." She released her. "I actually do, because...I feel the same way."

She didn't understand, and that was more than apparent on her face. "What are you saying?"

"I'm saying since we were in about...eight grade, maybe? I think it was eight grade." She waved it away. "Anyway, since we were...younger, I worked out that I wasn't straight. I'm not gay either."

"So...you're what then exactly? I'm very emotional, and my brain isn't processing this."

"Bi. I'm bisexual. I've pretty much always known, but I didn't have a word for it until around eighth grade. That's when I started...to have feeling for you. It was just a crush at first, but it didn't go away. It still hasn't."

"So...you like me?"

"No, I just told you how I felt about you."

"You don't like me?"

Michonne cupped her cheeks. "Think back about seven sentences ago, and you'll have your answer."

Her eyes widened. "But you said—"

"That's what I always meant. You haven't been just a friend to me since eighth grade." Her hands slid down from her cheeks to her elbows, pulling her closer. "I love you. I'd say it's too soon, but after three years that's just a lie."

"Three years?" Her mind was blown. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"You weren't ready, and I wasn't ready, but screw it."

"Screw it? That's how you want to start this?"

"You're staring it with puffy eyes and tear stains, so...why not?"

She laughed softly. "You're serious?"

"I am."

"Well, I don't want to start it now. Why don't we go somewhere after school?"

"I think I can wait eight more hours. I mean, I waited three years, so eight hours will be nothing." She smiled and dropped her hands to brush against Andrea's. "But you're telling Carol."

"Why can't we tell her together?"

She pursed her lips. "I guess, but if she gets upset, it's on you."

"All right, just let me figure out when will be the right time." She smiled at her. "So, after school then?"

"It's a date. Our first." She returned her smile and dried her eyes. "I gotta go grab some breakfast."

"I should wash my face."

"You should." She lowered her hand. "I'll see you in first."

Andrea watched her walk away. Okay, that went way better than expected. She thought she'd lose her best friend and instead she ended up with a girlfriend. Holy shit. She couldn't believe it. She couldn't wait to tell Carol. She would be so...

Carol. She bit her lip. What if Carol didn't approve? She loved both of them, but they would be dating, and Carol would essentially be a third wheel. Carol hated being a third wheel. She wouldn't go out with Lori during her dates because of that. Oh, no...what if Carol was the best friend she lost? Oh, God, she hadn't even thought about that. She couldn't even tell Michonne she had feelings for her, because she was afraid she'd lost her. How was she going to tell Carol?

– – –

She didn't. For the next three weeks, Andrea avoided telling Carol she and Michonne were an item, and she avoided Michonne's questioning glares by avoiding Michonne. She went on their first couple of dates, but when Michonne began to ask when they were telling Carol, Andrea lost her ability to pick up the phone or talk to them during school. She felt awful, but she wasn't good at this. She just wasn't. Michonne knew that. Carol knew that. She would be confronted by both of them at her pool party, but she was prepared for it. She was ready. She was keen, even. Well, maybe not keen, but she did want it over with, and once it was over it...it was over with.

The rumors about each girl in the vid had died down thanks to Daryl and Milton, who Carol was forever grateful to, and Paula backed off at saying it was Carol. The new girls coming in the fourth week of school was big news, so she and her sister swept up a lot of attention. It was so awesome, and so was the younger sister, who was in Carol's grade. Tara. She was really funny and laid back. She was in all of Carol's classes and her homeroom. She even pushed the seating arrangement in Dale's class. Carol was no longer between Daryl and Phillip. Thank the Lord. She was still near them but not between them, so life had improved.

Now her relationship with her friends was straining. Andrea was hanging around less and less, Michonne was annoyed at her behavior, and Lori and Rick were dating. She didn't even bother to tell them, and somehow Rick was invited to the pool party. They were both tempted to avoid the pool party. They had it every year after the first and last six week of the school year. It was their tradition, and it was special. They would all spend the night at Andrea's, and they'd build a bonfire and roast food on the grill. It was perfect. Or it was until this year. It felt uncomfortable, and they didn't feel too welcome.

"We're going." Lori placed her hands on her hips. "I picked out a cute swimsuit that I want Rick to see me in, and you need a tan."

"Andrea doesn't want us there. I'm sure of it."

"She does. She just called and asked if we wanted wings or legs. So change."

"Why?"

"Because we're going. It's a tradition, and Mom and Dad want to hang out with Andrea and Michonne's parents, getting their wine and whiskey on, so let's go. I'm starving. I've been saving room for Alan's ribs since last night."

"Fine." She dragged herself off her bed. "But I don't think my swimsuit will fit."

"You've only put on a couple pounds."

Her jaw dropped. "What?"

Lori bit her tongue. "I mean...it's good. You look good."

"I put on weight?"

"Okay, not to seem rude, but you have seen last school year, dude. How have you not noticed? Your bra size went up."

"I just thought I was growing." She self-consciously covered her chest with her arms. "No wonder my pants don't fit anymore."

"Don't worry about it. Your new pants fit, and it's not bad. You were tiny before, and now you look healthy. Don't be self-conscious. I'm sorry."

"I'll just wear a sack to swim in." She slid off her bed and headed to her closet.

"I'll ask Mom if she has a suit you can wear."

"Thanks a lot," she said flatly.

Lori swiped a suit from their mom, rushing Carol even more, because they were already late, and they left the house. Axel and Karen had been waiting in the car, and they were glad the girls decided to join them. Axel drove to the Harrison's house, noticing how Carol was quiet and kept her gaze out the window. He hadn't seen her do that since she was a little girl. She did it now and then, but mostly when she was zoned out. He knew by the look in her eye she wasn't zoned out right now.

Karen and Lori went on ahead with the plate of brownies, Axel walked behind with Carol to have a word with her, and he tried to cut to the heart of the problem. However, Carol wasn't the type to just open up about what's on her mind, so he had a lot of cutting to do.

"Hey, Dad?" Carol stopped on the way to the backyard and met his eyes. "Can I ask you something?"

"You just did."

"Dad, please."

"All right. What's up?"

"Have I put on weight?"

"Oh, God."

"What?" She paled. "Am I that much bigger?"

"No, I just didn't want to be asked that question." He blew out a sight. "To be honest, you have, but you're growing. You're...er, filling out. There's nothing to worry about."

Carol sighed. "And if there is?"

"What do you mean?"

"Nothing. I'm gonna go find Michonne." She scurried to the backyard and sought out her best friend. "Hey."

"Hey." She lowered her cup and smiled at her. "You came. I was worried I'd be the only one to suffer."

"Suffer? Why? What's going on?"

"Just Rick and Lori. I'm glad you came. I thought I'd be stuck with them all night." She handed her a cup. "Here. I'll get some snacks."

"I'm not hungry." Carol accepted the cup. She didn't want to get any fatter and have to buy all new pants with the money she'd saved over the summer. She was saving that for prom. She couldn't go until next year, but she planned to work this summer too. She would be decked out to the nines for her prom, and she didn't to gain anymore weight. Good or no. She didn't want Paula to pick on her weight now too.

"Carol." Amy ran over and hugged her. "Hey!"

"Amy, hi." Carol hugged her back with her one free arm. "How are you?"

"I'm feeling great." She grinned widely. "How are you? I haven't seen you since the last cookout."

"I'm okay. Thanks for asking."

"You guys have to try the snacks. I helped make them, so please, please try them. No one's eating anything, and I'm nervous they're gross."

"All of that?" Carol nearly whimpered.

She nodded. "I wanted to help my mom and dad out. Let me know what you think."

"We will." Michonne smiled. "Let's go get a plate, Carol."

"Yeah." She set her cup down and followed Michonne over to the tables that held food, drinks and plastic plates.

"If you're worried about your weight, we can swim it off." Michonne helped Carol's plate to some strawberries. "And you shouldn't be worried. You look good. Womanly."

She laughed. "Womanly?"

"You have actual curves now and boobs."

"I'm just worried if I do gain weight, it'll just give Paula more ammo." She fiddled with the handle covering the Harrison's blackberry dumplings, her mouth filling with water at the very scent of it.

"Forget Paula. I'll beat her skinny as if you need me to."

"Do you mean that?"

"If you don't eat those dumplings, I'll beat your skinny ass. God, you're making bedroom eyes at them. My mom looks at my dad like that. That's how I ended up with Andre."

She giggled. "I hate you."

"Same to you. I'm having flashbacks." She shuddered.

"Okay." Carol helped herself to the dumplings.

The two made their way through the many snacks, Michonne cleared a spot at the end of the tables for them to sit, and they watched the people at the party while chowing down. Lori and Rick were having some smoothies by the pool, Amy was playing with Michonne's baby brother Andre, the trio of moms were drinking wine and enjoying the shade, and the dads were having a cold one over the grill. It was just like old times—only Andre was only alive for about six of these cookouts.

"Am I the only one who doesn't smells wings or steak?" Carol commented. "I could attack a steak right now."

"I thought you weren't hungry." Michonne licked blackberry off her finger.

"Well, now I am. I really want meat. Ugh."

"The guy hasn't delivered it yet." Andrea stood about ten feet from them, cloaked in a cover up, her white floral bikini peeking out through the lace material, her fingers knotting together in front of her. "He'll be here in an hour, hence all the snacks."

"Look who finally showed her face." Michonne sighed softly. "Hi, stranger."

"Hi." She didn't move towards them. "I'm sorry, guys. I really am. I just...don't know how to say what I'm about to say, so I'll just spit it out."

"More news?" Carol inhaled. "Okay, I'm ready."

"You already know that I'm gay," she began. "You've known for a while now, but what you don't know is that I have feelings for Michonne. Romantic feelings, and she feels the same way. We've...uh, been dating for a few weeks now. I'm sorry we didn't—I didn't tell you sooner. I meant to, Carol. I really did, but I didn't want to hurt you, or make you uncomfortable."

Carol frowned. "Wait, what?"

Michonne turned to her. "I'm bisexual, first of all, and second...it's true. We've been dating for weeks, and I wanted to tell you right away, but Andrea got cold feet. We didn't want you to feel like a third wheel. You're not. You're our best friend. We love you."

"Wait, wait, wait. You're dating?" They nodded. "Each other?"

"Yeah." Andrea sat down. "Please, don't freak out on us."

"What's to freak out about? I'm happy for you guys. Really, if you care about each other then I'm happy you're happy." She smiled. "Uh, congratulations, I guess. Is that what I'm supposed to say? I dunno."

"You don't have to say anything." Michonne studied her. "Are you really okay with it?"

"It doesn't matter if I'm okay with it. It's your relationship." She shrugged. "I have to pee. I'll be right back."

"She just peed before we left." Lori joined them as Carol barreled into the house. "Did you guys tell her you're dating?"

"How did you know?" Andrea narrowed hers at her.

"Rick and I were at the movies last weekend." She smirked. "We saw you two making out. I figured it'd happen one of these days."

"You're almost creepy observant," Michonne commented.

"Thanks." She plucked a dumpling off Michonne's plate. "So, did you know Daryl likes my sister?"

"What?" Andrea stared. "How much have I missed?"

She nodded. "He told her the day that video was released, and he's even gone out of his way to dismiss it as doctored. Fake. He's half in love with her, I bet."

"Why didn't she tell us?" Michonne frowned. "I know we kept a secret, but it's not like we did it to hurt her. Andrea was just being a chicken."

"I was not. I didn't want to hurt her," she retorted.

"Whatever. I don't see why she wouldn't have told us. We tell each other everything." Michonne tapped her fingernails on the table. "That's weird for her to keep a secret like that."

Lori added, "Especially since she went out of her way to say Daryl didn't like her."

"She told you that?"

She nodded. "I don't know what happened or is happening between them, but if they're secretly dating like you two, I'm going to kick his ass. I don't know him well enough for him to date my sister."

"You don't have to know him."

"She doesn't even know Rick," Michonne reminded her.

"That's true, but it's Carol. She's not that good at guys. Daryl seems all right. He seems sweet, but a lot of guys can seem sweet until they get what they wanted. If she loves him first...he'll lie and use her feelings to get what he wants. I don't want to see her get hurt."

"Me neither." Andrea crossed her legs. "I need to apologize. I've strained our relationship. Now she's keeping secrets, because she doesn't trust us. Or it's too awkward for her to tell us."

"We both should apologize."

"Wait till she gets back. She might actually have had to pee."

In the bathroom with the door locked, Carol sat on the floor, crying. She pulled her legs in tighter, and she bawled silently. Her life was slowly falling to pieces. She knew something was up with them and with her, and now it was all crumbling down. She couldn't stand this. She wanted to go home and stay there until it all just blew away. She was tired of sinking, of all the bad upon bad upon bad. She was over it. It was too much, and she was too young to handle this. She was too freaking young and immature and terrified to handle this.

First, her sister was dating some guy Carol didn't know. She was fine with it as long as Lori was happy. Lori trusted Rick, and he did seem to make her happy. They laughed a lot. He held her close. He didn't give off any weird vibes, and he and Shane were good friends too. Shane and Andrea were close, so she knew through Andrea and Shane that Rick was really taken with her. There was nothing for any of them to worry about. They were cute and in puppy love. It was sweet. Really, it was, but it was taking Lori from Carol. She studied with Rick, went out on dates with Rick, hung out with Rick and his friends. She only spent time with Carol if Rick was busy.

Second, her best friends have been acting super weird for the past three weeks, and it turns out they were really dating behind her back. All those cancelled plans were just to make way for their dates. They didn't really have a dentist appointment or someone to pick up or anything. They were just avoiding her, because they couldn't break the news to her. They didn't want to hurt her, but by keeping this from her, that's exactly what they did. They didn't trust her to be able to handle it, and they lied. They hurt her feelings with rejection after rejection, and to make it worse they were going behind her back to date. They could have just told her. She was used to being left out, but not by her friends. Her best friends. God.

And lastly...what had really been weighing on her, what had been really crumbling her world for the past few weeks, was the secret of her own she'd been carrying. Words she wouldn't dare speak out loud to anybody. Words she wouldn't even dare think. But it was true. She knew it was true. She knew months ago, but she didn't acknowledge it, or even accept it. She still hadn't. She was trying to ignore it until it went away, but that was happening. That wasn't supposed to happen, and she couldn't handle any of it. She was too young for a midlife crisis, but apparently life didn't seem to think so, because here she was sixteen, alone, crying in her so-called best friend's bathroom, miserable and probably depressed, because why the fuck not?


	5. You Can't Run

_**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**_

– – –

She washed her face off and rejoined the party, sitting on the edge of the pool and kicking her feet lightly. She hadn't even taken her shorts off. She didn't feel like undressing and showing off the actually super cute bathing suit Lori had grabbed for her. She didn't want any attention drawn her way right now.

"Hey, you okay?"

Carol whined softly in her head and looked to find Rick standing beside her. "I'm fine. Thanks for checking."

"You sure? You look a little pale."

"It's just my skin."

"Here." He sat down beside her, placing his feet in the water. "Do you need sunblock? Lori burns easy, so do you too? You're sisters, right?"

"Not biologically, but thanks for the offer."

"Oh. Lori hadn't mentioned that."

"Why should she have?" she muttered.

"Hmm?"

"Nothing." She peeked at his face. "Did you see the video?"

He nodded. "It's fake, remember?"

She smiled. "Is it?"

"Yeah, totally doctored. You can see the soft fuzzy lines from where he edited peoples faces in." He smiled back at her. "It was a good prank though. Er, an asshole prank, I mean."

"It's okay." She sighed. "It was a good one."

"People have already forgotten about it. The new girls draw a lot of attention. One's apparently a mom."

"What?" Carol's eyes widened. "Seriously?"

"Yeah, I'm serious. Lilly, I think? She's eighteen and a senior, and she had a kid her junior year."

"Wow. That's intense." She blew out a sigh. "And she stayed in school?"

"Yeah, their mom watches the baby, and Lilly has a job. She busts her ass to take care of her baby. I have a lot of respect for her. She's...something else."

"Ballsy?" Carol offered.

"Yeah, definitely." He chuckled. "I don't know if I could do that—go to school, work and raise an infant. It seems like an impossible task."

"It does."

"And Tara's cool." He nudged her shoulder. "She's hilarious. She's really nice."

"And gay," Carol chimed in. "She's interested in Alicia."

"Alicia's gay?" He blinked. "I thought she liked Blake."

"I don't know who's what anymore. I honestly don't have it in me to care right now." She pulled her leg up and rested her chin on her knee. "I just don't."

He nodded. "Do you have plans for tomorrow?"

"Why? Are you taking Lori out somewhere and need me to cover for you guys or something?"

"No, no. It's nothin' like that."

"Then what?"

"Shane was wonderin' if you'd like to come out with you. He doesn't have any plans, and I work at the theater, so I can get us in pretty cheap."

"Shane wants to be a third wheel to you two?"

"He won't come if you don't come."

"It's not a date, is it?"

"Not unless you want it to be. He just wants to get out of the house. His mom has a book club that day, and I thought if you were bored, you could come too."

"Oh." She shrugged. "I guess. I don't have weekend plans. Ever."

"Then we'll pick you guys up at noon." He smiled warmly at her and handed the sunblock to her. "Here, just in case."

"Thanks, Rick." She accepted it.

"Are you two getting to know each other? Or is this about tomorrow?" Lori squatted down beside them. "Say it's about tomorrow, and say you said yes."

"I did say yes."

"Yay." Lori hugged her from behind. "I can't wait. We're gonna have so much fun. We never hang out anymore, so tomorrow's going to be great."

"Gee, wonder whose fault that is?" Carol grumbled under her breath.

"Let's go swim." Lori straightened up. "Come on, Carol. You need to show off that suit."

"Show off to who? Mom? Dad? Andre?" She huffed. "Let me be miserable and hot."

"No."

"Ugh, fine." She stood up and unbuttoned her shorts angrily, and Lori snickered at her. "What?"

"You're so pissy. You used to do this when we were kids."

"Bite me." She yanked her hoodie off, shimming out of her shorts, and she tossed them onto a lawn chair. "Happy?"

"I'll be happier when you drop the attitude." Lori pulled her away. "What's wrong? I just set up a way for you to get a boyfriend. Shane's cute."

"I don't want a boyfriend, Lori. I just want to be at home in my bed."

"Why be in your bed when you can be out with a cute guy?"

"Trust me, I know where it leads, and it's not that great."

Lori gaped. "What? Wait, wait, wait—who did you—?"

"Mr. Harrison?"

Carol spun around at the sound of his voice, and she saw Daryl Dixon standing at the gate with a clipboard. His eyes met her briefly before he had Alan sign something, and Carol didn't understand why he was here. Her friends joined her in the confusion, save for Andrea, who explained.

"He works for the butcher my dad gets his meats from." Andrea crossed her arms. "The one Caesar's dad owns?"

"Martinez Meats." Rick nodded. "They provide hot dogs for the football games."

"Now I know where to buy them from." Lori put her hands on her stomach to try and keep it from growling at the thought of those hot dogs. "They're so good, especially smothered in relish and mustard."

"I like their steaks better," Andrea stated. "Dad bought enough for us all to have one. You'll see what I mean by better."

"Eh, they're decent." Michonne was teasing, because she knew those steaks were Andrea's favorite, and she wanted to get a rise out of her.

"That is breakup worthy."

"You're intense," Rick chuckled. "It's just a steak."

"Do you want me to uninvite you? Because I will."

Carol shook her head and walked over to Daryl, leaving her friends to playfully bicker with each other. "Hey."

"Hey." He instructed his partner where to put the meat.

She crossed her arms. "I need to talk to you. Can I have your number?"

"Do you have my jacket?"

"Do I look like I have your jacket?"

His eyes ran over her body thoroughly, studying the black bikini she wore, his eyes lingering on how the straps hung on her hips and emphasized her breasts. They were more ample than he remembered. He supposed the summer treated her nicely. She had a bit more...well, more. She was hot. Er.

"Can you stop staring?"

"You said to look."

"You've done more than look, so you don't need to now."

"I'll give you my number if you give me my vest. It's my favorite. I'd like it back. You've had it for months, and Milton even said you left in it."

"I did leave with it. I didn't mean to, but I did. It's in my room. I'll...give it to you if you come pick it up tomorrow."

"Why do I have to pick it up? Just bring it to school."

She huffed. "We could talk then."

"Yeah, you, me, alone in your bedroom? If you want to do more than talk, you could just ask."

"No!" She blushed. "I really just wanted to talk. I don't want any of that."

"Again, you mean."

"Why are you being a jerk to me?" She studied him. "Honestly, you were so nice before. You stopped the rumors about the video. You helped me when I was sick. Where is this jackass attitude coming from? It's not you."

"And how do you know that? You don't know me. You made that very blatant when you went off on me at school."

"I might not know you, but I can tell you're not this big of an ass."

"Maybe I am."

"If you have to say it—you're not." She averted her eyes. "Forget it. I'll bring your vest to school on Monday. I have plans tomorrow anyway. Almost forgot." She wasn't used to having plans.

"Milton, huh?" He peeked at her.

"No, Shane. Well, me, Lori, Rick and Shane. It's...whatever it is." She shrugged. "I should go back. The ground's burning my feet."

"What did you want to talk to me about anyway? Not the whole thing, but the subject, at least."

"Nothing important." She stepped back into the grass. " I just...had a moment of insanity and thought we could be friends." Then maybe she could cope with her first time being with someone she didn't love, but someone who later became a friend.

"Why is it such a big deal that we close? Sex isn't always intimate. Sometimes it's just fuckin', and that's what we did."

"Maybe I don't want it to be that way."

He saw his coworker returning. "I gotta go."

"You said you had a crush on me, so why can't you just humor me?"

"Because it's the past, and I don't dwell there." He climbed into the truck and shut the door.

"Hey, Carol." It was Caesar. "You look good."

She blushed and couldn't help but chuckle. "Thanks, Caesar. You too."

He was wearing an apron with his dad's logo on it. "Not really." He glanced at the truck then walked closer to her. "Are you going to the game Friday?"

"I dunno. Why?"

"Well, I'm playing, but maybe we could get a bit to eat after?" He put on a big smile. "I know where we can grab a great milkshake."

She smiled. "Really? A milkshake?"

"What, are you lactose intolerant? 'Cause I can do burgers too. Obviously."

She giggled at how he gestured at his apron, almost as though he were annoyed by how easily he could do burgers instead. "No, milkshakes are good. Although so are burgers."

"I can do both."

"You can?"

"I can do pretty much any meat." He chuckled then smiled. "Wait, so that's a yes?"

"It's a yes." She nodded. "I'll meet you by the concession stand."

"Okay, great." He grinned at her. "I'll get your ticket, give it to you at school Monday."

"No, I can pay for my—"

"No, no, let me. I want to." He smiled a little wider. "You can tip at the place we're going to, if you want."

"Deal."

"Any day," Daryl shouted back to him. "It's not like we have a schedule to keep."

"You should go." Carol gripped her wrist. "He's grumpy today."

"Oh, trust me, he's grumpy every day."

"I don't doubt it." She moved back. "I should get back to the party, and you should get back to work."

"Well, I won't get fired, but you're right. I'll see you at school." He waved and headed around to the passenger seat.

She tucked hair behind her ear and smiled happily. Okay, maybe she didn't want to date Shane, but her old crush asking her out? Hell yes! She could have danced back to the pool, but she had to keep it in. She had to break off her Sunday plans and prepare for her Friday plans. What was she going to wear?

Daryl started the engine and watched Carol all smiley and excited, and he chewed his bottom lip as he pulled out. It was better this way. It always better without him, so of course it was better this way.

––

Night fell quickly, Carol's mood had improved, and the fun was back on. They had dug into the delicious steaks and chicken wings and hot dogs and made themselves sick, not to mention rich in leftovers. They had swum off the first course and made room for dessert, and now they were all wrapped up in towels around the bonfire, eating the cake Michonne and her mom had made along with the brownies Karen had made; and the ice cream Andrea and Amy had supposed "hand-churned", meaning someone's mom went to the store, bought it and they put it into a plastic container to try and sell it off as their own. No one was buying, but everything so good, it didn't matter.

Lori and Rick wandered off towards the front to say goodbye, as he wasn't one of the girls and couldn't stay over. They were likely making out by the gate where Karen and Axel couldn't see them, and neither could whatever parent was picking Rick up.

Carol rested her hands on her fully belly, relaxing on her towel, and she was tempted to fall asleep right there. She cracked an eye open to see if anyone would notice, but she saw Michonne and Andrea holding hands and being kind of very fucking cute. She couldn't help but smile at the sight of them, and she closed her eye.

She felt someone flop down beside her, and she looked over at Lori, who covered them with her dry towel, moving closer to Carol for warmth.

"You smell like wet sunblock."

"Thanks, so do you." She giggled. "You smell disgusting."

"I try." Carol exhaled through her nose. "I can't believe I have a date."

"I know. Me either. And Caesar's such a sweet guy."

"He is."

"Maybe we can double date next Sunday."

"Maybe."

Lori reached up and pointed to a cluster of stars. "Do you remember the names of them?"

"No." Carol closed her eyes. "Do you?"

"Not really. I think Mom used to read about the stars to me, but it's a really fuzzy memory. I can't be sure if it was Mom or...my mother. I add in Mom's voice, but I don't remember my mother's voice. It could have been her, right? I mean...maybe it wasn't all messed up." She heard light breathing and looked over. "Carol?"

Carol was out cold beside her, snoring softly, and Lori smiled a little. She wished she could have spoken to Carol about it, but there was always next time. She wanted to get closer to Carol, because since she and Rick began to date, a wall erected itself between them. She didn't like that. She wanted to send it tumbling back down, and she hoped with Carol with Caesar, an understanding could form. She would know what it was like to be dating and how it felt to be around the guy you like so much, and they could talk about it. Carol wouldn't roll her eyes or get annoyed by Lori's endless babbling, or they'd roll their eyes and get annoyed at each other. Understandingly, though.

She nestled into the towel and the grass, searching the beautiful night sky, and she wondered what lay beyond those burning dead stars and meteors and asteroids. She was content to stay here on the ground, but her mind was curious. About that and many others things. She wanted to know how it all worked, like the movement behind how the path of peoples lives were carved. Like Carol's mom, her own mom, how people intervened and shaped the course of their lives. How death made way for two happy and healthy lives... Who decided? Who controlled them? Who said...kidney failure? Who said...addict?

She blew out a sigh and closed her eyes to those stars and the questions they brought. She would dwell on them when she wasn't at her best friend's house. Mom was having a good time. Dad too. She wouldn't worry them. She'd keep her eyes closed until the tears passed. It was all she could do.

– – –

The slumber party had been boring. Carol was out for the rest of the night, Lori pretended to sleep as to not be bothered, so Andrea and Michonne and Amy watched a couple of movies before passing out themselves. They all woke up in different areas of Andrea's room with Carol on the bed, Lori on the sofa, Amy on the bean bag chair, and Michonne and Andrea curled up on the pile of blankets and pillows in front of the TV.

They had breakfast with the Harrisons then played a bit more in the pool. Lori kept to the shade with Amy, Andrea and Michonne played a game of volleyball in the pool, and Carol kept score. It was a still morning, the ice in their refreshments melted quickly when the sun began to brighten, and they were soon drive inside to wash up.

Their parents had gone home the previous night, so they drove by to pick them up. Michonne was the first to leave then Lori and Carol, and Andrea waved goodbye to them with Amy asking if they would come back over next weekend. Lori didn't reply, and Carol wanted to keep her weekend open in case it went well with Caesar, so she shouted back a maybe.

The drive back home was deafeningly quiet. Lori sat in the back with her gaze locked out the window, Carol was trying to think of topics, but she kept going back to Caesar. She wasn't ready to tell her dad she had a date on Friday, and she knew she should. She would have to, but she wasn't ready. It was her first date ever. She wanted to talk it over with Lori and Mom, but Lori was being anti-social right now, so Mom it was.

"I have to go into work," Axel told the girls. "I'll see you for dinner. I'm picking up some pizzas."

"Sounds great." Carol leaned over and hugged him. "Bye."

"I'll be back." He chuckled. "Be good for your mom."

"We will be." She climbed out of the car and noticed Lori had yet to move. "Lori?"

She didn't acknowledge her.

"Lori?" She bent down by her window, and Lori jolted.

"What?"

"Are you going to work with Dad? Or what?"

"What?" She looked over at Axel and blinked. "Sorry. I didn't sleep well last night." She unbuckled herself and slipped out. "Have a great day at work."

"I'll try."

Carol studied her sister as their dad pulled away. "Are you all right?"

"Yeah, just sleepy."

They entered their home, Karen had been cooking, so they ambled to the kitchen. She greeted them with a smile, and Carol instantly told her about Caesar and their game night date. Lori smiled slightly at Carol's bubbly behavior, happy to have her back to normal finally, and Karen stunned to see Carol so...glowing. Especially over a boy she'd broken her own heart over.

"We should go shopping." Karen set bowls of breakfast casserole in front of her girls, knowing that while they probably ate at Andrea's that morning, it was almost noon, so they could eat again. They were growing and hungry, that was for sure.

"Why?" Carol accepted the bowl and dug in.

"Because it's for your first date. This is a big deal." She grinned. "I have some money from the back to school funds since Lori hasn't gotten any bigger and didn't buy any jeans. We could pick out some cute dresses, or a skirt and blouse. Or we can throw away those jeans I hate and buy Lori new jeans."

"I love them. They're comfortable." Lori pushed her bowl towards Carol. "I'm not hungry."

"And I am?" Carol licked gravy off her fingertip.

"You sure seem like it." She dropped her overnight bag onto the floor. "But I am down to going shopping. I could use a new top for the game."

"Okay." Her gaze moved to Carol. "And you? Yay or nay?"

"I suppose. I mean, I don't have anything cute enough for a first date." She dug out a piece of sausage with her fork. "The last time I had anything cute was...when I was a baby."

"Your eighth grade graduation dress was adorable," Karen corrected.

"Adorable is not cute. Adorable is cute for parents," Carol corrected her mom. "I want cute that can almost be hot. I'm not hot, but...I wanna boarder it just a tiny bit."

"Carol, you're beautiful." Karen smiled softly at her. "Don't ever question that."

"That's such a mom answer." Lori narrowed her eyes at her. "When did you become such a mom?"

"I don't know. When I was saddled with two baby girls, and someone had to step up. I already had the mom jeans going, so, yeah."

"You wore mom jeans?" Lori cringed.

"You still wear the same jeans from seventh grade," Karen retorted. "Seventh. Grade."

"Fine, I'll get a couple new pairs. I'll even use my own money. Happy?"

"Yes, because I want to look at some stuff for myself." She tucked hair behind her ear. "I don't have any cute clothes either, not anymore."

"You traded cute for sensible." Carol helped herself to Lori's bowl once hers was gone. "This is really good."

"Thanks." Karen grinned. "It's a family recipe. I thought I'd make it for you guys at least once."

"Wait, let me try it then." Lori picked up her fork and sampled it. "Okay, that is good. Give it back."

"What? No."

"You already had one."

"You gave it to me."

"Well, I'd like it back, please."

Carol sighed. "Fine. But I ate all the sausage."

"Thanks, I don't like them." She claimed her bowl and happily munched away.

"Go get cleaned up. You both smell like a pool. I'll wash these dishes. We'll leave at three." Karen collected Carol's bowl.

Carol smirked. "Guess I get the hot water." She bolted down the steps.

"Oh, you snake." Lori lowered the bowl then shrugged. "Eh, I used her shampoo up, so."

Karen leaned against the counter. "Why do you shower down there anyway?"

"Because I like to shower down there."

"But why?"

"Because."

"Lori, that's not an answer."

"Well, you and Dad might've done something in the one upstairs, and I don't have enough bleach to wash that off, so yeah, that's my reason."

Karen crossed her arms. "We didn't do anything in that shower. The most action that shower sees is when I scrub it down after you or Carol have sprayed it down."

"Do you ever get laid then?"

"Excuse me?"

"What? I'm right down the hall, and it's always so...mute. What do you two do in there? Read books and chat about us kids?"

"That doesn't concern you. Just eat and get changed, please. You're embarrassing me, and that's my job."

"You do it so well too."

"I know. Now scoot."

"Yes, ma'am."

It took twenty minutes for the girls to get ready, Karen locked up the house, and she drove them to the mall. She was tempted to start driving lessons in the parking lot. Not today, but eventually. They wouldn't be in Driver's Ed until next semester, but it would nice to know they had some skill prior to the class. She would feel better about them getting behind the wheel, especially Lori. That girl needed all the practice in the world for Karen to feel at ease about her driving.

"Mom?" Carol touched her arm. "You okay?"

"Yeah. Just thinking." She adjusted her purse on her shoulder. "So, where to first?"

"I'm wearing my new jeans on this date," Lori stated, "so I don't care. Jeans pretty much go with everything."

"Yeah, I'll wear jeans too. I don't want to trip finding my seat and...expose anything." Carol knotted her fingers together. "So you can decided, Mom. You're the one who wanted to get some clothes too. Do you want to pick where we start?"

"Um, why don't we split up? You're old enough to shop on your own." She handed Carol her credit card. "In case you don't have enough. We'll meet at the food court."

"Okay." Carol tucked the card into her pocket and watched walk off. "She's never trusted us enough to give us her 's she hiding?"

"Who cares? We have free rein on our clothes." Lori grinned. "And we'll be out in them before she can complain. Well, me anyway."

"I just want something cute, not...revealing."

"Then follow me."

Carol was nervous about this date and not simply because it was her first date. She knew he had seen the video. She hoped he didn't expect her to do anything. She wasn't going to. Maybe a kiss at the end of the date, but nothing more. She wasn't going to take it fast. She wasn't going to repeat past mistakes. She hoped he understood that. He was a great guy, really sweet, so maybe. Shane didn't buy it, so maybe he didn't either. They were best friends after all.

"I think you should wear something in burgundy." Lori ran her fingers through the selection of tops. "You wouldn't go for a crop top, would you? Because this is adorable."

"No, no crop anything."

"Fine."

Carol approached the tops and browsed through them. "Why burgundy?"

"It'll look good with your skin." She pulled a couple tops off the rack. "And your figure."

"My figure?" Carol glanced down at herself.

"Yep." She smiled. "Just trust me. Pick a few that you like too, though. We'll find your clothes first."

"Joy."

It took twenty minutes for Carol to pick out any tops she really liked, and she ended up with only two. Lori had ten for her. Carol was overwhelmed, but she wanted to be pretty on her date. So she went with it. She and all 12 of her shirts found a dressing room, and she changed out of shirt, selecting the first one she liked.

And it did not like her. She didn't even let Lori see her in it. She moved to the next one, one of Lori's, and she was already dreading the next ten she had to try on. She didn't want to show Lori this one either, but Lori wormed her way inside. She seated herself on the little bench in the corner, and Carol modeled the shirts for her.

Lori noticed that Carol had changed a lot when she stood only in her bra. She was definitely filling into her adult figure. She looked really good, and Lori wished she had a bit more confidence. She was pretty. More than pretty. She knew if she told her that, she would say Lori was just saying it to be nice. She wasn't. It was true. Maybe if she had Rick say it. Although she didn't want Carol to get the wrong idea. Rick was a sweetie. He would say it of his own volition.

"I like this one."

Lori came out of her thoughts and found Carol turning in the mirror. She'd settled on the crocheted trim halter. "I like that one too."

She smiled. "I want this one."

"Okay, but we need to get you a new bra or two."

"Why?"

"Because yours makes my boobs hurts just looking at it." She began to hang the rejects back on their hangers. "Isn't it uncomfortable to wear that bra?"

"I guess, yeah." She changed back into her shirt. "We'll find your clothes first."

"I already have my outfit picked out," Lori admitted. "I just wanted to get you something new."

"But I thought you were getting new jeans."

"I am. Eventually. Right now, I just want you to have something nice."

"Well, that's sweet of you, but Mom's gonna be mad."

"No, she won't. Now come on. We'll get a couple more shirts and some new bras for you. Maybe shoes too."

"Now why do I need new shoes?"

"I said maybe."

"Uh-huh. Someone's hungry to max out Mom's credit card."

"That's probably why she gave it to you."

"Probably?"

"Fine, it's why she gave it to you." Lori slipped out of the dressing room. "Let's go maturely shop."

They spent an hour going through the different colors and designs and styles. Carol was thrilled about the new additions to her closet, and she loved her new bras. Two were just cute, and the third was a little sexy. It was a bralette, and Carol bought it when Lori wasn't paying attention. It was just something for her. Nobody would be seeing it, maybe a strap, but not the whole bralette. She was definitely going to wait before she even made out with anybody. Sorry, Caesar. A chaste relationship was what he was walking into. She hoped he understood.

"Okay, I treated myself to bath bombs." Lori held her singular small bag. "I'm happy."

"Me too."

"Let's go see if Mom's done. I could use some mall Chinese food."

They found Karen in the food court, texting someone with a happy smile on her face, and Lori noticed one of the bags she had. It was a lingerie store, and she instantly cringed. She didn't mean to motivate her mom into sleeping with Axel. That was not the plan. Gross, and she would know it'd be her fault it was happening. Ew. Maybe they'd do it while she was on her date. God, she truly hoped so.

"Hey." She dropped her phone into her purse at the sight of them. "Did you find everything?"

"Yes." Carol sat down, putting her bags under the table between her and Lori. "And you?"

"Mostly." She uncrossed her legs. "Are you guys hungry?"

"I'm not." Carol folded her arms on the table. "I'm thirsty though."

"I am." Lori stood up. "I want Chinese."

"Sounds good. We'll be right back. I'll get you a soda."

Carol rested her chin on her overlapped arms, and she nuzzled her face against the soft material of her jacket. She closed her eyes and listened to the indistinct sounds of the food court. She was ready to take a nap. She was tired from all the walking and trying on clothes and bras. She was grateful she talked Lori out of buying shoes. She'd already gotten a new pair a couple months when hers grew too tight. She didn't want bigger feet in this growth spurt, but she couldn't fight it. She stuck to loose, light shoes, hanging up her converse for a bit.

"You're an ass."

Carol's eyes shot open at Paula's voice, and she lifted her head, seeing her across the food court. Her heart tightened at the sight of Daryl beside her. He was the ass. She couldn't believe it. She thought he didn't want to date her. He wasn't interested? Evidently not. He was interested. He'd gotten over whatever crush he had for her and was now with Paula. Another redhead—and her bully.

"Never said I wasn't." He scanned the food options, his eyes landing on Carol Callies, sitting alone. He didn't know how he kept running into this girl, but it would be fucking great if that stopped happening.

"What?" Paula heard him scoff and followed his gaze to Carol Callies, who was trying to hide in plain sight. It was adorable. "Oh. Her."

"What about her?" Daryl cut a glance at her.

"Nothing. I hear she has a date with Caesar on Friday." She peeked at him. "You'll never get a chance with her now."

"Who says I want a chance?"

"I do. I know guys, and you want her. The first time wasn't enough, was it?" She smirked. "I know you went all the way with her."

"And how would you know that?"

"You're not denying it."

"I will deny it once you start up with your bullshit lies," he retorted. "I gotta go."

"Wait—" She grasped his sleeve.

"Why? I came here alone, so I'll leave alone." He shook her off and dove for the exit. He'd pick up something to eat on the way home. He'd gotten what he came for, and he wasn't going to linger so Paula could hang around him. He wasn't interested. He never would be.

Carol watched Daryl leave, Paula had tried to stop him, but he left anyway. Maybe they weren't on a date. Maybe they had just run into each other. Carol had ran into them sorta, so it did happen. It didn't settle her churning stomach. She didn't like the idea of Daryl being with other girls the way they had been together, and it was ridiculous. They weren't even dating. It was a basically a one night stand, and she had no right to ask him to keep it in his pants until he graduated and was out of sight, out of mind. She didn't know why she felt this way. She wasn't the possessive type. She really wasn't, so why...all of a sudden did she feel she had some sort of claim on him?

Was it because he was her first? Or was it because she might have feelings for him? She did have a crush on him. Sort of. He was just this mysterious guy in her third last year. She thought he was cute, and then out of the blue he was talking to her at Tobin's party. Then one thing lead to another, and they had sex. That didn't mean he liked her. He said he had a crush on her. Had. He didn't anymore, and she didn't anymore. It was just...weirdness following weirdness. She was sure it'd go away. With time and after her date on Friday.

She couldn't help the smile that crossed her lips at the thought of her date, and she buried her face in her arms. She couldn't wait for Friday! It was going to be great. Her first date with a totally awesome and sweet guy! Friday couldn't come soon enough.

– – –

And it didn't come soon at all. The week dragged, and everyone was miserable. Sasha was working them to death, and Carol wasn't sure she could take much more of it—and she was already slacking. Dale's class got very book heavy, and Douglas was pushing essays now. The only class she enjoyed was Greene, and she couldn't stand the smells of the food the kids were trying to make. She liked the work part of it more than the cooking, because of that. Blech. Friday was just one day away, but it felt like it was fifty.

Bright and early Thursday morning Sasha was back at it with the killer exercises. It was raining, so no running the track, and Carol missed the track. She could at least walk it and chat with Michonne or Andrea. She wasn't going to survive this. Michonne was showing Carol the proper way to do some of the exercises, and Carol didn't feel too great. Her stomach was tight, she was sweaty, and she was pretty light headed. She didn't know if it was that she'd eaten too much breakfast or...not enough.

"All right." Sasha clapped her hands to get their attention. "We'll do some jumping jacks."

"Great." Michonne was panting too.

It was then that three things happened. The first was Caesar and his partner had been inching gradually closer and closer to Carol and Michonne, which lead to the second thing: Carol fainted. Caesar had caught her being as close to her as he had been, and she didn't even hit the floor with his reflexes. And finally the third was Paula also fainted, and she nearly hit the floor had Daryl and Shane both not moved to caught her as her partner wasn't paying attention.

"Oh, God." Sasha gasped.

Caesar lowered himself onto the floor to hold Carol carefully. "Carol?"

"Get me some water," Sasha told Maggie. "And the nurse."

"Carol." Michonne and Andrea dropped beside her and Caesar.

"Get them some space." Sasha had the students move to the bleaches, leaving Daryl and Caesar to keep their heads off the floor, asking Shane to get Karen. She checked their pulses, and they were strong. They weren't warm, or hot, so they didn't have a fever. They were sweating, but the entire class was sweaty. So that left a few more options, and Sasha knew they didn't apply to Carol. Karen was close to her brother, and Sasha knew a lot about her through Ty, so...what was up?

"Mmm..." Carol began to rouse.

"Hey." Caesar smiled at her. "She's waking up."

Sasha moved over to them. "Carol?"

She blinked slowly, finding Caesar and Coach hovering over her. "What's going on?"

"You blacked out on us." He helped her sit up. "You spooked us."

She blushed. "I fainted?"

"You and Paula."

Carol looked over as Daryl held the still unconscious Paula in his arms, and she gripped her head, closing her eyes. "I don't feel well."

"Maggie went to get the nurse." Sasha patted her shoulder. "Can you stand?"

"I don't think I should try just yet."

"Take it easy." Caesar took her other hand. "The nurse is coming."

Jacqui, Maggie and Karen rushed into the gym right then, Jacqui went first to Paula, and Karen to Carol. Maggie just caught her breath, and Karen inspected her daughter.

"Are you okay? What happened?" Karen held her face.

"I'm okay."

She turned to Sasha. "What happened?"

"We were just exercising. She fainted then Paula. I don't know why."

"Mom, I'm okay." Carol stood up to prove it, and despite the head rush, she was all right. "See?"

Karen frowned. "And Paula?"

"I know what's wrong with her." Jacqui stood up. "She just needs to lie down for a bit. Daryl, would you be a dear and help me take her to the office?"

"Uh, sure."

They left the gym, Karen had to get back to class, and Carol all but shoved her out the door. Sasha didn't want to push the class anymore in case anymore students dropped and someone tried to file a lawsuit, so she had them change and use the rest of the period as a study hall. She pulled Carol aside to get her a snack in case her blood sugar was low, and she needed to talk to her.

"These are from the concession stand." She handed her a muffin and bottle of water, sitting her down in her private office while the assistant principal watched her students. "You feeling better?"

"A little less shaky." She peeled the paper off the bottom of the chocolate muffin. "I'll be fine. You didn't have to do this."

"No, I did." She closed the door and sat down beside Carol. "Did you know I'm married?"

"No." She shook her head.

"I am. We've been together for two years. Well, married for two years, together for about five."

"Wow."

"Yeah." She smiled softly now. "I'm pregnant."

"You are?" Carol was stunned. "You don't even look pregnant."

"I'm three months along. I don't know when I'll start to show, but..." She turned to her. "Are you sexually active?"

Carol nearly dropped her muffin. "W—w—what?"

"I'm only asking, because..." She inhaled. "Is there a chance you could be pregnant?"

Her eyes widened. "What?"

"I've notice in the last couple of weeks you've been...putting on some weight, filling out, but mostly in your torso. You fell asleep in class last week too, and I know Karen makes you girls get plenty of sleep. Not to mention...you ask to use the bathroom a bit too much in one period. Unless you're a smoker or a drug addict, and I doubt that."

Carol paled. "Pregnant? Like...actually pregnant? Me?"

"If you are, I need to know. I have been pushing you kids pretty hard. If you are pregnant, I need to be sure you and the baby are safe. It's my job as your teacher to ensure you are in safe, healthy learning environment." She met her eyes. "And as someone who is expecting, I have to know you and possibly your baby are okay."

"I—I can't be pregnant." Carol dropped the unopened water bottle. "I can't be. It was just one time."

"It can happen after just one time. If you weren't careful, or if the condom broke. Even if you were on birth control, that can sometimes fail if it's a new prescription." She took the muffin so it wouldn't follow after the bottle and placed it on her desk.

"It was months ago," Carol argued. "Months ago, like nearly four months."

"Have you have any morning sickness? Or periods?"

"No. I mean, I was sick over the summer, but it was just because my dad made me get a job. They blasted the air conditioning, and I got sick. And...I had a period. It was light, though."

"A period? Or four?"

"I don't remember."

"If you are pregnant—four months pregnant—you need to be sure. It's not safe for the baby to have gone this long without medical attention. Or you for that matter."

"How can I be pregnant?" Tears began to form in her eyes. "It was a mistake."

"Sweetie." She wrapped an arm around her. "It might be something else, but you need to be sure."

"How can I tell my mom about this? Or my dad?"

"You'll have to. If it's not a pregnancy, it could be something worse. Something hazardous to your health. You need to know."

She buried her face in her hand. "How stupid could I be to not know about this? It's been months."

"To be fair, our sex ed program...sucks." She rubbed her back. "And it happens. It happened to my mother even."

"I'm so stupid."

"You're not stupid."

"Pregnant and sixteen? How can I not be?"

"Let's just be sure." Sasha stood up. "We have tests in the nurse's office. These days we kind of have to, so I'll get you one. If it is positive, I'll call Karen in here, and you two can talk. You'll have to talk."

"And if it's negative?"

"I'll tell Karen I think she should have your family doctor do an exam." She knew it wouldn't be negative. "Do you want to come with me?"

"Yeah."

They shuffled to the nurse's office, Carol had stopped crying, and Sasha had her wait outside while she dug out the test from Jacqui's supply of pads and student medicine. Carol could hear Paula and Jacqui talking in the exam room. Or exam closet. It was a small room with a gurney and TV and some small boxes of cottons balls and those awful tongue depressors. She hated them, but she'd take a million of them over one pregnancy test.

"All right, kid." Sasha pulled the door closed. "It's on my pocket. Which bathroom do you want to use?"

"The ones by the gym. Hardly anyone goes in there."

Her heart was pounding in her ears the entire trip to the bathrooms, Sasha checked in on her class while Carol read over the instructions and had a slight panic attack over the whole thing. She was so nervous she couldn't even pee. She had to talk herself into it. It took a couple minutes, but it worked. She set it on the box where feminine waste products were disposed and cleaned herself up, washing her hands and face and calming her breathing.

"Carol?" Sasha poked her head in before entering. "How are you holding up?"

"I'm freaking out." She was clutching the sink.

"That's to be expected, but I'm sure—"

"It all makes sense now. I am pregnant. I didn't... I mean, I thought I was finally growing up and filling out, but no. No, I'm just pregnant. God." She trembled. "It's not fair. It was just one time, and it wasn't supposed to happen. I didn't mean for it to go that far."

Sasha frowned. "What do you mean by that?"

"I didn't mean for it to happen. I just... I don't know." She released the sink and turned to face her. "I just didn't think it through. I was buzzed, so why would I?"

"Buzzed, or drunk?" She crossed her arms. "Could you consent?"

"It wasn't like that. It was. I did. I just...was stupid. Clearly." She slumped against the sink. "He was so nice, and I really liked him."

"You know who the possible father is?"

"I do." She lifted her head. "Daryl Dixon."

"Oh." Sasha pressed her lips together.

"Yeah."

Carol's phone beeped, it was time to see the results, and Sasha asked her if she wanted to read it, or if she wanted Sasha to read it. Carol would have to be brave if she was pregnant, so she might as well start now. A minus and this would all be over, but a plus and something else...began. For her, anyway. She picked it up from the lid of the bin and whimpered, covering her mouth with her hand.

There it was. A little pink plus sign. A sign that would forever change her life.


	6. What Kind Of Man

_**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**_

– – –

Carol sat in Sasha's office alone with the results while the other students attended second period, tapping the tips of her fingers together, back in her clothes, not her gym clothes. She had a new bottle of water and the pregnancy test was resting beside her on top of a paper towel, and she twisted the cap off her bottle of water, drinking for no other purpose but to drink.

This wasn't how she hoped she'd be telling her mom she was pregnant. She thought she'd be in her thirties and married with a career. She thought she and her husband would sit Mom and Dad down and tell them excitedly that they would be grandparents. She thought she'd have this lovely house to set up a nursery in, and her husband would help and try to sway her from buying useless junk the baby didn't need. She thought she'd be mature and ready for this.

She was sixteen years old. She had no clue how to do anything expect for school work and ringing people up at a store. She didn't know shit about diapers or rashes or ear infections or breast or bottle feeding. She didn't know how to take care of another human being. She didn't know how to do anything with a baby other than say "aw" or "how cute". She never even babysat before. She was too young to do it, and now she would be too pregnant to do it. No one would want a pregnant sixteen year old watching their kids. It might give them the wrong idea.

God, she was a bad kid now. She was a cautionary tale. She was someone people would look at and say things like: "Her life is over" and "I thought she knew better". Oh, and let's not forgot how they'll say she's a whore or a slut or a skank. She was pregnant at sixteen, so of course she slept around. Of course it wasn't just a mistake at a party where she lost her virginity. And to a total stranger. Yep, total slut package right here.

"Carol?" Karen stepped inside and closed the door. "Sasha told me you needed to talk to me. Baby, what's wrong? I'm really freaking out. She sounded nervous. Are you...?"

Carol interrupted her by handing over the pregnancy test and shrinking up on the couch when she took it.

Karen slumped down beside her, reading over the results, and she lowered it. Then lifted it back up to scrutinize it then lowered it once more, eyes wide and lips parted in shock.

"I'm so sorry." Carol turned to with tears in her eyes. "I am so sorry. I didn't mean for this to happen. I really didn't."

She tried to speak but no words came out.

"It was at that party. The one Lori got us invited to. It was calm at first, but there were some guys who brought beer and stuff. I just—I thought—" She stopped when Karen held her hand up.

"Were you drunk?"

"No. I was a little tipsy. I think."

She nodded and blew out a prolonged, exhausted sigh. "We told you to tell us if you wanted to have sex."

"I didn't know I wanted to have sex," Carol remarked. "It just...happened, and I know it doesn't just happen, but we were safe. I thought we were safe."

"You thought?" She finally looked at her. "You thought?!"

"He...had a condom. I think." More tears spilled from her eyes. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry, Carol. Be better. Be smarter." She scoffed. "We talked to you girls about sex and birth control and condoms. We asked you both if you wanted to start, and you both said no. You weren't even thinking about sex."

"I wasn't! I was focused on school. I like guys, but no guys like me."

"Is that why you did this? Because one did show interest?"

She was quiet.

"Carol, the right guy will come along. You don't need to have sex with them. It doesn't make them like you anymore, and it's not something you should do so people like you. It can be intimate and romantic with the person you love, or when you're older...it can just be about lust. But you're so young. You don't need to do this."

"I didn't have sex with him so he'd like me," Carol admitted. "I don't know why I did it. I didn't love him. He didn't love me. We weren't close. I just...wanted to."

"You wanted to?"

She nodded. "He just... He made me so...and I didn't want to stop." She would have been embarrassed, but she'd hit her limit for the year. "And he was so gentle and kind, and I didn't want that to stop either."

She sighed again. "Who is he?"

"Daryl Dixon," she whispered.

"Oh, God." She whined softly and rest her forehead in her palm. "Daryl Daryl?"

"Yeah, the one who helped me to the clinic."

She sighed. "Okay. We'll—we'll go see Harlan. We'll go see Harlan, and we'll figure this out. We'll see how far along you are, and—and we'll go from there."

"What about school?"

"We have a soccer game after lunch, so I'll schedule your appointment for then. You have one more class till lunch then it's my free period, and we'll leave then."

"I didn't mean to make you angry. I didn't meant for this to happen. I'm so sorry, Mom."

"Carol, I'm not mad." She lifted her head. "I'm not upset anymore. I'm just...surprised. I thought you wanted to wait, and I understand how in the moment feelings change, but...I don't know. I just don't know how I feel about it." Numb from shock perhaps.

"Me either. I mean, the baby, not the...sex."

"When was that party?"

"June. June 6th."

"So, you're almost five months along then?"

"Yeah." She'd counted the days on the calendar Sasha had on her desk.

"You're in your second trimester." She reached over and clasped her hand. "There's no going back now, I'm afraid."

Carol lowered her eyes.

"I'm here for you, Carol. No matter how I feel or don't feel about this news, I do know what I feel for you. I love you wholeheartedly, and I am here for you. I don't know how you're doing this." She pulled her closer and hugged her, kissing her forehead. "You're such a brave kid."

"I'm so scared." She buried her face in her mom's neck, bawling. "I don't want to ruin anyone's life or make anyone's life harder."

"We'll adjust. We always do." She soothed her daughter and closed her eyes. They would get through this. She knew they would, but it wouldn't be easy. God knew it would not be easy.

– – –

Karen assured Carol it'd be okay when they left school for her appointment. Karen had gotten lucky and there was a cancellation around two-thirty, and they had time to get real food and then see Harlan. Karn had heard about him through her coworkers, and Sasha had suggested him. He was her OB/GYN, and as Karen had never had a baby, she would trust Sasha. She trusted Ty, so he had to be good. Especially since Sasha's husband was a doctor too, so that helped ease her nerves. Somewhat, anyway. Her sixteen year old was still pregnant. Five months pregnant, and soon there would be no hiding it. God only knew how this would have played out had Sasha not caught this.

"Hello." Carson greeted Carol and Karen with a warm smile. "Who do we have here? Carol Callies?"

"That's me." She was sitting on the weird gurney thing, but she wasn't in a gown or anything.

"Oh." He lowered the clipboard. "Well, how are you feeling today?"

"Nervous. Queasy. Terrified."

"That's normal." He set the clipboard aside. "So, you're pregnant? You did a test?"

"Yeah, I just took it today, but I've had some missed periods. I lost track when I was working this summer."

"So...how far along are you? How long has it been since the intercourse?"

"Almost five months." She bit her lip and lowered her eyes in shame.

He leaned down to meet her eyes. "Don't do that."

"You must think I'm stupid, so why not? Who doesn't noticed they've missed their period?" She wiped at her eye.

"Plenty of people. I had a woman go into labor who didn't even know she was pregnant. I had another who didn't know until she was 33 weeks. You are not stupid. You were busy working?" She nodded. "You were busy with school. Days bleed together, people forget. You're not stupid. I don't think you're stupid either."

Karen smiled at his words and stroked Carol's hair. "See? You're not stupid. I told you."

"You're my mom. You're supposed to say stuff like that."

Harlan smirked. "Why don't you lie back? I'll do a sonogram, see what there is to see. If there's nothing, we'll take some blood and figure out what's going on."

Carol didn't know if she was more afraid of them finding a baby or finding nothing at all. "Okay." She lied back.

"Unbutton your pants for me."

"What?" Carol shot up.

He gloved his hands. "It's all right. I just need access to your stomach."

"Okay." She undid the top button and lied back down, tugging her shirt up a little. It was a long shirt anyway, and she closed her eyes tightly.

"It's okay. You won't get stabbed or poked at." He smiled at her reaction. "This'll be a little cold, and I lied. I do have to poke you some, but it's just to check things out."

She nodded and reached for her mom's hand, which was beside her on the gurney, so she didn't have to reach far, and she held it for comfort. She was scared. She wasn't sure she could handle all this news, and she definitely wasn't positive she could see this baby and not have her head implode. She was beyond terrified, and she was too young to be trying to handle something like this. Far too young.

Her body wasn't though. It was roaring and ready to go, just like that night at the party. She listened to what her body wanted, enjoyed how good it felt, and she didn't even entertain the voice in her head that told her to stop, that told her to slow down. That told her to that she wanted to be in love before she took this step. It pleaded with her to listen, but her hormones and her desire were louder. She chose to follow them and now here she was, lying on a gurney with her pants buttoned about to see a life she might have made with a stranger. All because she chose to listen to the wrong voice.

She wouldn't be hanging out with her friends. She wouldn't be going out with Caesar. She wouldn't be able to jump right into college after high school, because she would have a two year old. She would a fucking two year stumbling around and talking. She would have this little person to take care of. She'd have to get a job and a babysitter and—and—and...

Tears pooled in her eyes, falling free, and Karen squeezed her hand to let her know she was there for her.

Harlan looked at the young girl crying and carefully proceeded. He could see the baby, and he took some measurements, but he didn't say anything to Carol or Karen. He steadily moved across the small bump on Carol's stomach until he came across what he was looking for. The baby's heartbeat. The sound began to resonate through the room, powerful and rapid.

Carol opened her eyes. "What is that?"

"That's your baby's heart." He smiled at her and raised a finger towards the screen. "This is your baby, Carol."

Her eyes moved to the screen, and it displayed her baby. It didn't look like she thought it would, all curled up and gray on the screen, but she didn't think about it at all. She had no thoughts the entire drive over here, and now all of her thoughts had hit her at once. She was overwhelmed, and this just threw her off the edge.

Yet that heartbeat planted her back on solid ground. Her baby's racing heart, the outline of the face she saw on the screen, and what she thought might be a foot and a hand. This life that had been created after a one night stand. This little human being growing inside of her. This was her baby, and it was real. It wasn't a plus sign on a stick. It wasn't a thought in the back of her head. It wasn't Sasha's words. It was right here in black and white, moving and growing inside of her. It was...right there. There was no more running, no more hiding, no more praying it would go away. No, not anymore.

"Oh, my God." Karen let out a soft, wheezy gasp at the sight of her grandchild. "It's so big."

"Yeah, she's about seventeen weeks."

"She's into her second trimester?" Karen blinked. "We haven't done prenatal vitamins or anything."

He smiled softly. "Then I guess we'd better get started with this appointment. But first one question."

"What?" Carol wiped tears from her cheeks.

"Do you want to know the sex?"

– – –

Daryl sat in the back of Douglas's class, scribbling out notes for his chemistry test next week, and he noticed Carol wasn't in class. She hadn't been in third either. He had to admit he was a little worried. Michonne seemed worried as well, and so did the blonde. He didn't want to make a big deal, and he probably wouldn't, but he hoped she...was all right.

T wasn't fond of school games, so he allowed the students that didn't want to go hang around in here. That was one of the many perks about having Douglas. Daryl wasn't one for teacher against teacher soccer matches, so he hung out with a few underclassmen and worked on his studies. T dismissed the students when three fifteen rolled around, Daryl gathered his things and found Lori Callies waiting for him by the door. He didn't like it, but unless he dove out the head first window, there was no other escape. He could try the window, but they were small and plastic. He would likely break a limb or end up paying for the window. He wasn't willing to do either so onward it was.

"Hey, Daryl, I need to talk to you." She blocked his way once T was out of the room. "It's about my sister."

"What about your sister?"

"I don't know. You tell me. My mom wants me to invite you over for dinner." She narrowed her eyes. "Why?"

"I don't know. I was about to ask you the same. Why?"

"I have no clue. She didn't tell me. She just wants you and Merle over for dinner. It's at seven-thirty, but be there by seven, please."

"Why?"

"I just told you I don't know, but if you don't come, she'll call Merle. He'll make you come over. I don't want that. You don't want that. So just come over. Please."

He knew instantly what it was about. Carol had told them they'd had sex. Her daddy probably didn't like it and blew up on her. He was going to now try and take a swing at Daryl. Fucking great. "Your sister is a goddamn nark."

"Excuse me?" she hissed.

"You don't even know why, so don't get all defensive. I ain't in the wrong here, but she is." He was going to go over there and set the record straight. He wasn't in the mood to play nice with that little girl. She needed to grow the hell up, and right now. He'd make sure her parents pushed her in that direction if it was the only thing he was able to do at this dinner.

"Be sure to bring your brother. He's legally your guardian. Mom wants him there."

"Yeah, he'll be there." He pushed by her and stormed out of the building.

Lori didn't know why Mom wanted Daryl and Merle over for dinner, but she had a feelings things were about to change. And it was going to be abrasive. It was a sinking feeling in her gut. Carol wasn't in class. Daryl was coming over for dinner. She didn't like the thoughts cropping up in her head. She hoped this would be a simple matter. She didn't want Carol exposed to more drama and harsh comments. Or Daryl, for that matter. He could be an ass, but there was a human under there. Somewhere. Deep, deep, deep down. She was sure...sure of it. Kind of.

"Hey." Rick caught her in the hall. "Are we still on for the movies?"

"No. Mom wants me home for dinner. It's some lame family dinner night." She shrugged. "I wish I could go out, but maybe tomorrow."

He nodded. "All right. I'll have to check my work schedule, but I'll call you tonight. Would that be okay?"

"It'd be very okay." She kissed him. "I have to catch a ride home with Michonne."

"Okay."

"Bye."

"Bye." He watched her shuffled down the hall through students trying to flee, and he smiled, heading to his locker before he went to find Shane to give him a ride home.

––

"Why did you do?" Merle called through the door to Daryl's bedroom. "Why does this teacher want you—us—over for dinner?"

"I didn't do anythin'!" he shouted through the door, buttoning his jeans and pulling the door open. "I mean, I did, but it didn't involve the school or my grades."

Merle looked over his little brother who wore torn jeans and a faded flannel shirt. He shook his head. "Change outta that."

"Why?"

"Because you ain't wearin' no ratty clothes. You got nice ones—wear 'em. This teacher might be writin' you a recommendation to college. We want it to be glowin', and you look like white trash."

"Aren't we?" Daryl muttered.

"I am, but you're gonna be somethin' better, so change your damn clothes. And loose the lip."

"Fine." He stomped back into his room and slammed the door.

"I thought you were goin' on eighteen, not eight!"

"Fuck you!" He changed into jeans and shoved his feet back into his boots.

"No, let's get back to my question. What did you do?"

He groaned and dug out a black button down. He tossed the flannel and drapped himself in a black shirt. "I just...slept with her daughter."

"What?" Merle exclaimed. "You did what?"

He sighed and tossed his head back, not wanting to hear this hypocritical lecture. "Yeah, we had sex at the end of the school year. At that party I went to."

Mele threw the door open. "You said you'd quit that shit."

"Yeah, I did. Did you?" He tossed a glare at his brother. "She started it."

"What are you, five? Her parents ain't gonna care what she did if she spun this the wrong way!"

"She wouldn't."

"How do you know that? You know this girl?"

"Not really."

Merle wanted to slap him upside his head, but he doubted having a knot on his head would help this meeting. "How old was she?"

"Sixteen. She's only a year younger than me."

"You're sure?"

"Yeah, I'm sure. I'm not even eighteen. Why does that matter?"

"Because I didn't want to hear you fucked a fourteen year old. You had a crush on one."

"She was fifteen when we had class together," he retorted. "Her parents musta held her back a year or somethin'. I don't know, but I do know she wasn't fourteen."

He shook his head. "Why did you do it?"

"Why are you blamin' me? It was both of us!"

"Well, she ain't here, is she?!"

"Why are you mad?"

"Because if this little girl decides she didn't like what went down between y'all, you're fucked. Sounds like she comes from a good family, respectable parents and all that shit." Daryl nodded. "And we come from redneck trash. Will ruined any chance of a good reputation for us, and I ruined my own. People expect the same from you."

"But I ain't you. Or him."

"Doesn't matter. It's guilt by association."

"That's bullshit. It wasn't forced."

"Yeah, just tell that to her daddy."

"I will."

"You can't."

"Why not? We had sex. That isn't something to be...ashamed of. People have sex all the time."

"Adults have sex all the time."

"I'm a year away."

"Daryl, you're gonna slip up one time. And that's it. All of your plans, all of your hard work, all of that shit will spill down the drain. You need to shape up."

"And I have!" Daryl shouted. "What the hell else do you want from me?! I get striaght A's! I'm in honor classes! I've taken the college courses and busted my ass to pay for them and the books! I'm workin' on scholarships! What the hell else do you want from me? Huh?" He went back to take honors English, which was why he had fourth with a bunch of underclassman, and why he had the one for his actual year next semester. He had to squeeze it in, because it was now or never.

"I don't want anythin' from you," Merle remarked. "Not a damn thing. You've done me proud. You should make yourself proud, but you ain't. You're miserable. Whatever you want...you ain't gonna get it from me." He skirted around Daryl to his own bedroom to change.

Daryl had to resist the urge to slam his boot through the wall and instead buried his face in his arms on the counter, grinding his teeth. He hated when Merle did this shit. He didn't know why the fuck he was so reasonable all of a sudden, but he hated it. He fucking hated Merle being the voice of reason. After eleven years of drugs and booze and women, he cut two of them out and was this sober asshole. He was his big brother, and he wasn't sure how to take his big brother, but he hated moments like these. Merle was right. Fuck, he was right.

After twenty minutes of stewing and ten minutes of calming down, Merle told him to get in the truck. They had a dinner to get to, and it was better to be on time than late. If it went to shit, at least they were punctual.

– – –

Karen sat Lori and Axel down in the living room, Carol was coiled up in the armchair, wrapped in a large knit cardigan, and Karen had told her she'd break the news to them. Carol was chewing her nails to stubs, so Karen decided it'd just be easier to tell them herself. Carol had been through enough today.

"What's going on?" Axel glanced at Lori. "Do you know?"

"No." She pulled her legs up to crossed them on the couch. "Not a clue."

"How about you?" He looked at Carol now. "You've been quiet. Do you know?"

Her big blue eyes met her dad's smiling and goofy face, tears forming in her eyes, and she swallowed. "Dad..."

He lost his smile at the tearful word his daughter choked out. "What's going on?" He stood up. "Karen?"

She crossed her arms. "I would say don't get mad, but honestly, I don't think it would help." Karen met his eyes and opened her mouth to speak when Carol did.

"I'm pregnant, Dad."

Lori was floored, her mouth fell open, and she stared disbelievingly at her sister. She knew Carol had put on some weight, but that was just...growing up. She was growing up, and she was hunger. School lunches weren't filling, and Carol had an appetite. She didn't always eat healthy, so that was why she had gained weight. It wasn't... It couldn't be because of a baby. It couldn't be. Carol wasn't the type to get pregnant. Paula was the type to get pregnant, not Carol. Not Carol, no. There had to be some sort of awful mistake. There had to be.

She looked at her mom to see this was a joke, an awful joke, but Karen had her eyes on Carol, those dark orbs brimming with slight pride and full on sympathy. She could read her mom pretty well, and she didn't see a hint of joking on her. This was real, and Mom was proud Carol told them herself. She was sympathetic towards her. This was real. Carol was pregnant. She had actual sex and was going to have a child. There was going to be a baby in the house. Holy shit. She was going to be aunt at sixteen.

"You're really pregnant?" Lori continued to stare at her.

She nodded.

"No." That came from Axel. "No. No. No."

"I'm sorry, Dad, but yes." Carol dared a peek at his face, and it was red. Really red. Like as red as her hair. Oh, he was livid. She knew he would be, but she wasn't ready for this. She was ready for the disapproval and disappointment and the lecture, but not the denial and the anger. She didn't want to say what she did, not to him, not when he was this pissed.

"Axel," Karen warned in a low tone.

"Who?" he demanded.

"What?" Carol blinked back tears.

"Who?" he demanded again, louder, causing her to jump. "Who's the boy? Who did this?"

"Dad, he didn't do anything I didn't—"

"I don't want to hear that. I want to know who."

"Axel, stop." Karen reached out and set a hand on his shoulder. "Stop it right now. She needs you."

"What she needed was for us to put her on birth control when she entered high school." He jerked away. "I knew this would happen. I just... God, Carol, what the hell were you thinking? We always taught you to say no, to know your limit. I thought you knew when to say when."

"I did say when," Carol whispered. "It just didn't matter, because I'd already done it. I'd already gotten pregnant. I made the choice, and it happened. I'm sorry."

"Sorry doesn't help the situation. Tell me who did...who you... Just tell me who he is."

"Daryl Dixon."

"Wow," Lori uttered.

"Don't," Axel snapped at her.

"You don't," Karen shot back. "This is big news. It's heavy. We don't need you going off the deep end right now. That won't change facts. She's pregnant. Five months. There's no going back from here."

He scoffed. "Five months? You're five months pregnant? When did you...?" His face cleared in realization. "That party. That fucking party—I knew I shouldn't have let you two go. I knew."

"Oh, you knew?" Carol strained. "You knew I'd drink? You knew I'd kiss a guy? You knew I'd have sex with that guy and get pregnant? Because if you knew, why didn't you tell me so I could have avoided all of this?!"

He watched his little girl break down. "Carol—"

"I'm the one who's having this baby, Dad. I'm the one who's entire school life is going to become a joke. I'm the one who's life plans have been taken away. It's me. So you can get pissed and yell at me, but I already know. Okay? I screwed up. I ruined my life. I'm an idiot." She flew off the chair and to her bedroom.

"Nice going." Karen hurried after her. "Carol, sweetie, wait."

"How am I the bad guy?" He turned to Lori. "Daryl's the bad guy. He's the dumb shit that didn't use a condom. It must have been his first time too."

Lori pursed her lips and shook her head.

Axel narrowed his eyes. "What do you know?"

"He sleeps around. Or he used to. I haven't heard anything about it lately, but yeah. It wasn't his first or second or even fourth time."

"Does he have other kids?"

"No, I don't think so, but I never cared enough to ask. He was just some dude in a hallway, now he's some dude who's my nephew or niece's dad in a hallway."

"No, he's gonna be a lot more than that. Trust me."

"What do you mean?"

"I'll tell you what I mean, but first what the hell happened at that party? Huh?"

"It was calm when we got there," Lori swore. "It—It got a bit crazy when wine coolers and beer were brought in and the keg. I lost track of Carol. I was with a few friends, and I thought she was with Michonne and Andrea. I was wrong. Clearly."

"Why didn't you call us when the booze showed up?"

"Because it was little out of control. It was fun at the time, but if you had shown up, you would have called the cops or their parents. I wasn't thinking straight. I just wanted to have a good time, blow off some steam, and...I woke up in the den with Andrea and Michonne. We...found Carol outside. We thought she was just wasted and tried to walk home. She had someone else's vest on, so it only boosted our theory." She shrugged her shoulders. "I'm sorry, but we just wanted to have fun."

"Yeah, your fun ended up getting your sister pregnant."

"That's not my fault. Carol made her own choices that night."

"You couldn't have kept an eye on her?"

Lori scoffed. "What about me? What if I had sex? Should Carol have kept an eye on me?"

"Did you have sex?"

She rolled her eyes and went to find Carol and her mom.

"That wasn't a no!"

"Well, I can't say fuck you," Lori muttered.

Axel dropped onto the couch and buried his face in his palms, Lori found her sister and mom in the basement, and Carol was still crying. Lori climbed onto the bed and lied down behind Carol to embrace her from behind and Mom stroked her hair. The time for words would come later, so they comforted her in silence.

It took a little over an hour for Carol to calm, and when she did, she fell asleep. Karen tossed a blanket over her, and she guided Lori upstairs to start dinner. They were having stir fry, and the Dixons would be over soon. She simply wanted to cook and forget about these fights. The one had just occurred, and the one that would occur when Daryl and Merle were here.

"What kind of man seduces a sixteen year old ?" Axel asked when they came upstairs.

"He's seventeen. He's no man." Karen moved to the kitchen to wash up. "And Carol's fine, by the way. If you care."

"I do care. That's why I've been thinking."

"Oh, about what?" Karen dried her hands. "Hmm? Do tell me."

Lori glanced between them and made herself scarce.

"He's going to marry her."

"What?" Karen gaped at him. "Are you insane?"

"No, but it's not an insane idea."

"She's sixteen and pregnant, and you want to make her sixteen, pregnant and _married_? How does that not sound insane?" She threw her arms out. "You can't even stand the kid who got her pregnant. Why would you want to make him family? How does any of this sound logical to you?"

"He got her pregnant, and he's going to step up."

"Stepping up doesn't mean marriage. That won't fix this. Marriage shouldn't be done to get what _you_ want!" she spat.

"Then why did we do it?"

She swallowed. "I meant what you want, not the two who'd get married. This isn't about us."

"Are you sure about that?"

"Don't start with that tonight. We can argue about that when the girls aren't home." She averted her eyes. "Besides I invited Daryl and his brother over."

"You did what?"

"We need to inform him about the baby. We can't keep this from him. It's partly his. He'll own up to it. He's a good kid. He's responsible. He'll do the right thing."

"He knocked our daughter up! How can he be a good kid?"

"Sex isn't wrong," Karen stated. "Sex is incredible and amazing and even beautiful. There's nothing wrong with sex. There's nothing wrong with Carol having sex, or even Lori. They should be careful, so we avoid this, but I don't think having sex is a crime. Or labels you a "bad kid"."

"He sleeps around. Did you know that?"

"Why would I?"

"He could have given her an STD. We don't know how careful he is. Evidently, he isn't careful at all."

"Fine, we'll ask him to get tested and get the baby tested. Will that make you happy?"

"What'll make me happy is if that pricks marries her and owns up to this. I'd be happier if this hadn't happened at all."

"How can you be so close-minded? They don't even know each other! Or like each other. He can be nice, but he's just a nice kid. That doesn't mean anything. It won't last, and I am not putting my child through that."

"Your child?"

"Our child. I won't do that to her. I don't understand how you can. You're her father, Axel. She needs you to be supportive right now. Not saddle her up to Daryl in some old-fashioned quick-fix-it wedding."

"You're right. She is my daughter, and you're not her mother. I don't think you should have any say."

Her eyes burned, and her heart nearly broke. "What?"

"Carol's mom would want this too. I know she would. So I'll push for it at dinner."

"Don't you walk away!" She strode over to him. "How dare you say that to me! I've helped you raise that girl since she was two years old! I've fed her and changed her diapers. I've held her in my arms and lulled her to sleep! I've cradled her through fevers and nightmares! I love her, just as much as Angela! If not more! She's my entire life. So is Lori. Don't you ever say I don't have any say or I'm not her mother."

"I told you not to say her na—"

"Angela!" Karen cut him off. "Her name was Angela, and she would not want her daughter to get married, because she's pregnant. Angela was never pro-marriage in the first place, Axel. She just fell in love with you in high school, and it changed her views for herself. Only herself. She told me she wanted better things for her daughter."

"Better?"

"She wanted her to see the world before she settled down. She loved you, don't get me wrong, but she had big dreams. They never saw the light of day, and she didn't want that for Carol."

"I didn't hold her back. I wanted her to have everything."

"But you got her pregnant, Axel. She wasn't going to have everything. Just a daughter she knew she might not see to grow up. You know how bad her condition was...having Carol was too much on her body. She chose life—to give Carol life. Life she could spend traveling and fulfilling her dreams, not tied to a kid she doesn't love. Please, please, don't push this."

"She didn't love him when she had sex with him, so why should that matter now?"

"Marrying her will not make him step up."

"But leaving him free to roam will?"

"It's a piece of paper, Axel. What good will that do? It can be burned. It can be torn. It can be thrown away. They need something more, and I think we should let them decide. It's their baby. We don't even know if Carol wants to keep it."

"Why wouldn't she keep it?"

"She's sixteen. She's in high school. She doesn't have a job, or a car, or any money. She doesn't have any experience with children, let alone newborns. He's healthy, and we could find a good home for him."

"He? Who's he?" The answer dawned on him. "He—the baby's a boy?"

She nodded. "We found out today at her appointment. We have some pictures and a recording of the heartbeat. Carol has them in her room."

He remembered the first time he heard Carol's heartbeat, and he shook his head, tears forming in his eyes. "I don't know what to do here. I really don't."

"Neither do I, but I don't want to lose my best friend because of it."

"I'm so sorry." He firmly embraced her. "I didn't meant what I said. I was upset. I took it out on the wrong person."

"And who's the right person? Daryl? Or Carol?"

"It's not Carol." He rubbed her back. "And I'm going to kill Daryl."

She rolled her eyes, but at least he was sounding like his old self.

– – –

"Wow." Lori paused the heartbeat and turned to her sister. "So this is it? You're really pregnant?"

"I'm really pregnant."

"Wow." She hopped up. "How do you feel right now?"

"Freaked out. I don't know what I'm going to do. I'm so worried and scared, and I don't know what to do about anything."

"It'll be okay. Mom will help you, and so will I. Dad's gonna need some time."

"Some time? Or four months?"

"We only have four months?"

"Pretty much. In a couple days, I'll be in my fifth month. It's why I'm putting on so much weight." She looked down at her stomach. "There's an intruder in there. He needs room to grow."

"He?" Lori grinned. "It's a boy? I have a nephew?"

She nodded. "It's a boy."

"Wow."

"That's the third time you've said that."

"I know, but wow is all I can think to say." She sat beside her. "You know?"

"Trust me, I'm not saying wow. I'm kicking myself for having sex and getting pregnant."

"About that, why didn't you tell me you had sex?"

"I was embarrassed and horrified. I couldn't believed I'd done that with Daryl, a complete stranger. And it was in someone else's bed. It wasn't even his, or mine, and that was gross."

"Was the sex gross?"

She lowered her eyes. "No."

She was grinning again. "What was it like?"

She smiled a little. "Amazing. It didn't hurt like I thought it would, and Daryl really knew what he was doing, that's all I say."

"So you...?"

"Daryl really knew what he was doing, that's all I say," she repeated.

"Nice."

"Not really." She gestured to her stomach.

"It can be." She reached over and touched Carol's belly, causing her to flinch. "It's not a bomb. He's just a baby."

"It might as well be a bomb. It's gonna destroy my life."

"No, he won't."

"Yes, he will. Him and Daryl. My "boys"."

"Well, I'm excited."

"You aren't carrying him. You won't have to give birth to him. You didn't have your life turned upside down because of him." She huffed and sighed. "It's not his fault, of course. It's mine, but I'm just so angry at myself. And at Daryl. And at that party."

"Let me know when you're done being angry." She patted her belly. "And start to feel excited."

"Lori, Daryl's on his way over here. He's going to hate me. He's going to yell at me. Dad's going to yell at him. Merle will yell at Dad. It won't be pretty, and it won't be pretty for months, maybe even years. If I decide to raise him. Who can say? I might just put him up for adoption. I bet a lot of people want a healthy son."

"Daryl might."

"You don't know him."

"You don't either. You just boned him." She turned on her heel and marched upstairs.

"Thanks for having my side." Carol wanted to wrap her arms around herself, but she would touch the baby. It was ridiculous, because she was growing the baby inside of her right now, but somehow touching it...didn't settle with her. It was a lot. It was too much. She wanted to go back to that party and just...

"Carol, dinner's ready," Karen called down to her. "And Daryl and Merle are here!"

She knew there was no point saying she wasn't hungry. She had to eat, even if she wasn't, for the baby's sake. Besides she couldn't make any real decisions without Daryl's consent. If she was going to go through with adoption then she needed him to sign off on it too. She didn't want the couple to lose their son, because there was a chance Daryl wanted to raise him himself. She wouldn't put them through that pain. So she had to suck it up and face him.

She joined them upstairs, finding Daryl and Merle helping Mom carrying eggrolls and soy sauce and plates to the kitchen. Her heart skipped a beat at the sight of Daryl. She was terrified of his reaction, and he also looked as gorgeous as he had the night this baby was conceived. This was going to be a rough night. Well, a rough meal. She doubted they'd make it the whole evening Mom had planned, especially with Dad glaring daggers.

"Here." Lori handed her the salad bowl. "You're pregnant, not invalid, so help out."

"Lori!" Carol hissed. "Keep your voice down."

"Why? He can't hear me. He's too busy fuming."

"Fuming? He's mad? Why?"

"Dad wants to kill him, so he's being hostile. Mom's trying to force the "good side" out of him so Dad'll back off, and you invited him over here after having sex. He probably thinks you told them, and they want to lecture him."

"But you invited him."

"Yes, but for all he knew you were too chicken to do it yourself."

She didn't have words to argue, so she forced her legs to carry her to the dining room. Daryl and Merle were seated across from where she and Lori were sitting, and Dad was glaring daggers at Daryl, who was glaring at his plate. Merle and Mom were idly chatting, and Lori was bitter about Carol's reaction to being pregnant. What a lovely night it was. Geez, was it over yet?

"Carol, honey." Karen introduced her to Merle, Daryl's big brother. "This is Merle Dixon."

"Kind of figured." She set the salad bowl down and shook his hand. "Hi, it's nice to meet you."

"Same to you." He sat down at the same time she did, cutting a look to his brother, and Daryl rolled his eyes.

Lori came in with a pitcher of water, and Karen suggested they eat. It was awkward as hell. Carol could feel Daryl's eyes on her, Mom's eyes on her, Dad's eyes on her, and even Merle's. Lori was too busy drowning her stir fry in soy sauce to stare at her, but Carol was grateful for that. She felt like a celebrity in plainclothes I'm a restaurant, and all she wanted to do was stuff her face. She was so hungry, and it was delicious. The baby certainly was enjoying it.

Daryl hoped he wasn't sweating. He wasn't guilty of anything, but damn. Carol's dad knew how to glare someone to death, and it was confusing, because Karen was being over solicitous to him and his brother. Lori was ignoring all of them, and he was grateful for that. Shit. At least someone at this table wasn't staring, glaring or stealing glances at him. He liked the food, but not the company. If he had any say, he'd take the meal to go. Merle wouldn't let that fly. He'd have his ass glued to the damn chair before he let him leave early.

Axel measured the boy who had gotten his daughter pregnant, and he didn't like him. His hair was all in his face, his eyes were narrow and constantly glowering, and he had a tattoo on his hand. He likely had more than just that one too. What the hell did Carol see in this boy? He wasn't cute. He wasn't charming. He barely greeted them at the door. He was pretty damn rude. His brother was more charismatic and kind than him, and he knew Merle Dixon. He knew a lot about him. He wouldn't hold it against him right now, because clearly he could pull out manners. Unlike his bratty little brother. Man, if Axel had a gun... He wouldn't kill him, but he sure as shit would threaten the fuck out of him. Yes, the actual fuck. He would keep this kid chaste until his graduation day, hopefully till marriage, which, if Axel had any say, would be relatively soon.

Karen crossed her legs and wished she could crack open a bottle of wine. Or whiskey. Shit, it was uncomfortable in here. She couldn't look left without smacking into some type of tension, and she was tempted to slip out and bust into the liquor cabinet then come back. There was no loosening up. Not naturally, and when they dropped the news, it was only going to get worse. She just wanted to crawl under the table with Lori and Carol and the men do their manly thing. But the men were stupid. Carol was not getting married at sixteen, no way, so she had to stay. And argue. It was going to get loud in here.

Lori was ready to leave and call Rick. She didn't want to hear their plans. She didn't want to know what was going to become of her unborn nephew unless it was staying here. He needed to be here with family. She knew he was a baby and would adjust to new parents, but he shouldn't have to. He wasn't conceived in love, but he could be surrounded by love. Daryl could step up and be a good dad. Carol could suck it up and be a good mom. It would be difficult, but a lot of things were. They could do it. They could all do it together. Though she doubted they'd have the chance.

Merle cleared his throat and broke the silence once his plate was cleared. "Not that I don't appreciate a free meal, but why did you invite us over?"

"I think you know why," Axel lowly hissed. "Or he does."

Daryl's eyes sliced to Carol. "Thought you weren't gonna cry to your daddy?"

"I didn't." She swallowed.

"But that's why we're here." He dropped his fork. "Because you told them we had sex and—"

"No, we're here, because I told them I'm pregnant," Carol interrupted him.

"What?" Merle almost fell out of his seat. "You're what?"

"Pregnant." She tried to keep the tears out of her eyes, but she wasn't doing a good job.

"You didn't use a condom?" Merle turned on his brother. "I told you to be careful. I told you to be fuckin' careful!"

"I was."

"Evidently not!" He thrust a hand towards Carol. "She's knocked up!"

"I wasn't buzzed. I wasn't thinkin' about condoms. I thought since she was so eager, she was—" Daryl shook his head. "You weren't on the pill?"

"No. You didn't use a condom?"

"I thought you were on the pill. I—I didn't plan on that happenin', or I would have brought one to the party with me. I normally do, but I left my wallet in the truck."

"You carry condoms around?" Axel asked. "You just lurk around and seduce girls in your free time?"

"What? No. No, I don't lurk or seduce girls," he retorted. "I mean, I used to. I don't anymore. What happened with Carol just happened."

"Sex doesn't _just_ happen." Axel scrutinized him. "Have you been tested?"

"Axel!" Karen protested.

"I have," Daryl informed him. "And I'm clean."

"Big shock. You seem pretty negligent to me." He waved vaguely in Carol's direction.

"Well, I'm seventeen. I don't mix booze and sex often. The party was the first time I'd drank and had sex."

"And it'll be the last time."

"You're not my parent. Who the fuck gives you any say?"

"You're going to marry my daughter," Axel told him. "Before the baby's born, you're going to marry her."

"What?" Both Carol and Daryl cried out.

"No, no fuckin' way," Daryl spat at the same time Carol seethed, "No, Dad, he is not!"

"You made this bed, so you'll lie down in it and get married."

"I am not getting married!" Carol shot up. "Pregnant or not, I am not marrying him or anyone else at sixteen! You're insane!" She stormed out of the dining room.

"I told you." Karen hurried after her daughter.

"I ain't marryin' her." Daryl was on his feet. "I refuse. I'm outta here. Fuck this."

"Daryl." Merle blocked him with his chair.

"No, I'm not gettin' married. I worked too hard the last couple of years to trap myself in a teen marriage. I have my own goals, and I ain't gettin' married. You're fucking nuts if you think I am. I don't even know her!"

"She's having your child."

"How do we even know it's mine? We slept together months ago! In the summer!"

"She's five months pregnant," Lori spoke up. "She's five months, and it's yours."

"Five months? She barely looks pregnant. I'm callin' bullshit."

"Her mom was the same way." Axel tapped his fingernail on the table. "She started to really show partway through the fifth month, so Carol ought to start showing. She's already gained weight."

Daryl felt trapped, and Merle knew that wasn't a good feeling to have, so he let Daryl by, and the kid flew out of the house. Axel shot up to chase him down, but Merle said he'd stay and talk it out. Daryl would be back. Merle knew he would be, but he had to stay and hold down the fort until then.

Lori and Merle cleared the plates from the dining room, Axel was tempted to have drink but instead checked in on his daughter, who was crying again. It broke his heart to see her like this, and he knew had to talk to her, but he'd wait. Karen was better at calming her down, and honestly it was for best for everyones if Axel stayed away right now. He did just drop a bomb on her. And Daryl.

"What do you think?" Lori leaned against the counter. "Do you want them to keep the baby and get married? Or put the baby up for adoption and forget this happened?"

"My opinion doesn't matter." Merle stuck the plates in the dishwasher. "Yours doesn't either."

"It can."

"No, it can't. This is between Carol and Daryl, no matter what your parents think. It's up to them. It's their baby, their rights, their decision." He closed the door. "Personally I do agree with your dad. They should get married and raise this baby right, not as a bastard, but it ain't my kid. It isn't my say."

"I think they shouldn't get married, but they should keep the baby."

"And why should they?"

"Because it's not the baby's fault Daryl and Carol had sex and made it. They should keep it. It's too late to abort—not that I agree with that choice either—and it's not fair to give the baby up."

"How is it not fair?" Karen stood in the doorway. "The baby would be fed and loved and healthy with two adult parents that love him. He would want for nothing if they choose the right couple."

"He?" Merle inquired. "So it's a boy?"

"Yes." Karen folded her arms over her chest. "Lori, go upstairs, please."

"Why?"

"Because I asked, now please."

She nodded and jogged out of the room towards the stairs.

"How do you feel about this?" Merle studied the woman.

"I just want my daughter to be happy. I want her to smile again. She's cried so much, and my heart aches. I can't console her. I've tried, but what the hell am I going to say?"

"She doesn't want the baby?"

"She doesn't know, I think. She might think she does, but I know Carol. She needs time. Sadly we don't have much. Her due date is February 27."

"We have some time."

She hung her head and slumped against the pantry door. "How did this even happen? Just last week I had two teenager daughters who I knew so well, and now they're both becoming strangers to me."

"I thought I knew Daryl. I trusted him to keep his word, but he didn't. They're kids. They'll be impulsive and make mistakes. This mistake is high."

"Yeah." She meet his gaze. "I always heard you were an asshole. You don't seem like an asshole."

"Life changes people."

"You can say that again."

Axel entered the kitchen, Karen moved away from him, and Merle picked up on their relationship instantly. He didn't say anything, but he did decide to talk to Axel. They might be family if this worked out.

"You hate him, don't you?"

Axel glanced at him. "Him being?"

"My little brother."

"I do. I don't understand what kind of guy—what kind of man—goes to a party and has sex without using some type of protection. Especially Daryl. He said he has goals and has straightened himself out to see them through. If he wanted those goals to become a reality, why didn't he use a condom? Or say no?"

"He's a teenager," Karen replied. "And he likes sex, so why would he say no? I doubt he was thinking about his goals and career."

"He probably wasn't thinking at all."

"How can you only be angry with him? Carol was a willing participant. She didn't say no. She wanted to have sex. So how is it all on Daryl?"

"Because she's my daughter. I can't hate her."

"But you can hate my little brother? Who's in the same situation as her?" Merle arched a brow at the man, annoyed.

"They aren't in the same situation. She'll start to show, and the entire world will know. She'll be humiliated." His heart broke for his daughter. "But Daryl? He'll get to walk around, and nobody will know he's about to become a father. Nobody will even look at him. He's just a guy. They are not in the same situation."

"Okay, so she'll suffer. So will he, if she puts it up for adoption."

"That's not the same, and she's not putting my grandchild up for adoption."

"That's not your choice," Karen muttered.

"It shouldn't be hers either. She's a child!"

"Who is about to give birth to another child. You think it's okay for a child to raise a child?" She searched his eyes. "Carol isn't a little girl anymore, Axel. She's a young woman, and she can raise this child or put him up for adoption. It's entirely up to her and Daryl. Butt out."

"The last time I butted out, Carol went out and got pregnant. I told you not to send them to that party."

"Well, it's too late for that, isn't it?" she seethed. "She's pregnant. And it's too goddamn late for you to throw that in my face. It won't change anything, and they aren't getting married. It won't help their situation. It won't serve the same purpose as ou—" she cut off, remembering Merle was there, and she huffed, departing from the room before she threw their issues at the stranger.

"This is really strainin' the marriage," Merle commented.

"Why do you ask?"

"Just tryin' to make conversation." He cleared his throat and followed after Karen.

Axel rubbed his temples and moaned softly. He wasn't sure if he wanted aspirin or vodka. Honestly, at the end of the day, vodka was sounding pretty damn great. But he had a pregnant daughter and a...Daryl to talk to, and he wouldn't do that drunk or buzzed. He would save that for when the kids were in bed. He would probably be on the couch anyway.

––

Daryl wandered the streets that evening, about an hour out from the Callies' home—at least in a car—and he kicked a rock in the road. He was reeling. It wasn't even just his mind at this point. He was all over the place. He was humming with rage and sinking with regret. He didn't know anything anymore.

That wasn't true. He did know one thing. He wasn't ready to be a father. He was nowhere near any level of being ready to have a child. He didn't know a single thing about child rearing. He wasn't even babysitter material, so there was no chance of him gaining experience that way. He didn't have any parents to pop out a baby tomorrow to help him, or explain this shit to him. He wasn't ready. He had no way to get ready. He couldn't do it. He simply couldn't. There was no other way to say it. Or think it.

He had his own plans. He had goals. He had been working on them since he was an eighth grade. Merle had whipped him into shape, and he knew he had to do better. He didn't want to saunter causally down the same path as his dad and his brother. He didn't want to do odds jobs and barely scrape by. He didn't want to live in a crappy, dingy little trailer in the backwoods. He wanted a house. He wanted a backyard. He wanted his own property. He wanted a new car one day, not hand-me-down. He wanted to make his own name, not live with Merle's or Will's. Having a baby complicated, if not crushed, all of those goals and plans. He couldn't just raise a baby and attend college and work, and he couldn't pay for this baby and school and housing.

Hell, he had money in saving for college, and even that wasn't going to be enough. He knew he'd be in school for at least eight more years, so he was busting his ass for scholarships. He was working on improving his attendance—studying for hours on end left him with little sleep, and he slept through his alarm most mornings. He was working nonstop with the guidance counselors, because he didn't want to fall back on what was easy. He wanted to do what was right, what he wanted, what he knew he could do and do well. This goal has kept him steady and straight on course. Sure, he did slip up now and then, but nothing like this. Nothing compared to this screw up.

He was so careful when he was sleeping around. He carried condoms with him in his wallet, and that wallet was linked to his jeans, so he remembered to use one. He asked the girls if they were on the pill, and he still used a condom. He was careful. He always used protection. The one time he didn't was after he'd cleaned up his act. He fucked up. He was rusty, and he was drinking. He acted like it was his first time. Hell, he was smarter his first time. He had sense. He didn't know what happened between then and that night, but shit. He wanted to kick himself for being so goddamn stupid. He got someone pregnant. He actually got someone pregnant, and it would be here in four months. It would be here after his birthday, like a damn gift. One he didn't ask for.

He would be a man when this baby came into the world. He would eighteen years old. He would be going into his senior year with a baby. He thought it was weird he was graduating at nineteen, but this just blew that tiny thought out of the water. He would walking across that stage with a baby in the crowd. Or out there in the world. He would be carrying that with him when he accepted that handshake and slip of paper.

That slip of paper he'd been aiming for since he was in eighth grade. He'd become a four point oh student. He was in honor classes. He was taking college courses. He was up there to possibly become a valedictorian of his class. He couldn't throw a baby on that and not expect something to give. And what would give would the future he's been working so hard for. He had so much he wanted to do, and he had so many plans. He wanted to take care of his brother the way he'd taken care of him. He wanted to stop child and domestic abuse, or at least ensure the assholes who did it went down for it. He wanted to do some good in this shitty world.

But he couldn't do a lick of good with a baby in tow, and he'd let Carol know that. As much as it went against his beliefs, he had to be selfish. He'd worked too hard for this to stop him. He'd stopped drinking, stopped skipping school, stopping sleeping around. He gave up all his vices for this. He couldn't do it. He just couldn't. She would either understand or hate him, and she already hated him. He hated him too, so it didn't matter. For all he knew, she was leaning towards adoption anyway.

He pulled his phone out and checked the time, seeing he'd been gone for four hours. A lot could happen in four hours. He should probably let Carol know what happened with him in those four hours and figure out what happened with her. He turned on his heel and ran back towards her house.

––

It was one o' clock in the morning. Lori was asleep with her phone on her chest on the couch, Axel covered her with a blanket and ended the call with Rick. They'd both fallen asleep talking to each other, and he smiled at her, kissing her forehead. He set her phone on the coffee table and looked up as Karen came out of the kitchen with a cup of coffee, smiling a little at the sight of them. It didn't mean he wasn't still in hot water, but it meant she had softened some. Some being the key word. The women in his life were a tough bunch, and they could hold a grudge.

Merle was sitting in the doorway to the basement with one of the sonogram pictures in his hand. He'd been staring at it for hours now, listening to the faint sound of the heartbeat. Carol kept playing it, and he didn't want to disturb her, but he was drawn to the sound of his nephew's heartbeat. It was so strong, so quick, so real and beautiful. He didn't want this baby given to someone else. He wanted him. He wanted to teach him how to shoot and how to track. He wanted to teach him how to gut a fish and a hell of a lot of other stuff too. He wanted that chance, but Daryl didn't want the kid. Carol was scared to have the kid, and it wouldn't happen.

Karen curled up in the armchair and set her cup of coffee on her knee, telling the guys there was pot in the kitchen. Axel helped himself to a cup and got one for Merle too, handing it to him on his way through, and Merle thanked him, taking a drink.

The knock on the front door caught their attention, Axel got it and found a sweaty and panting Daryl there. Karen fetched him a glass of water and a moist washcloth. He accepted both, wiping his face off and chugging down the water. He asked where Carol was, and Axel answered. He nodded and then proceeded to the basement. Luckily Merle had moved or Daryl would have fallen, because now it was like nobody else existed. They weren't sure if that was a good or bad thing.

Daryl closed the door behind him and padded down the stairs with both the glass and washrag in his hand. He stopped on the last step, hearing a weird sound, and he found Carol at her desk with her laptop open. There was something on her screen, something black and white and moving. He neared her, and he knew she knew he was there, but she didn't move. She just sat there, one leg pulled up to her chest, and she was holding her stomach.

He set the glass drop on the desk and leaned over to see. "What is that?"

Carol peered at him with glossy eyes. "That's our son."

He knelt down beside her chair. "Our...son?"

She snuffled and touched the screen with her fingertip. "This is his head, his spine, his arm. And that little blinking thing is his heart."

"So this sound is..."

"His heartbeat," they said it together.

"It's beautiful, isn't it?" Carol wiped her nose on the sleeve to her cardigan.

"Yeah." He looked over the baby—his son—on the screen. "This is my son?"

She nodded and lowered her leg. "He's almost five months. In a couple more days, when we reach October."

"Your sister mentioned that."

"I'm scared," she confessed. "I'm really scared."

"It's a scary thing."

"I don't want to give our son up to strangers, even if it might be what's best for him. I want my son to be around my stupid, insane family. I want my mom to tell him stories, and my sister to spoil him. I want my dad to teach him how to play football."

"Isn't that...the dad's job?" He wasn't sure. His dad only ever taught him how to be hit and how to hide. How to run, too, actually.

"I don't know. Do you want to teach him how to play football?" She studied him. "We both consented to sex, and I think it's only fair we both consent to parenthood. I'm not ready. I'll admit that. I'm scared out of my mind, but I want our son. I really do."

"I want him, too," he divulged. In all this reasons, not a single of one them was about not wanting his son. He never once thought the words: I don't want him. He just thought he couldn't. He shouldn't. Perhaps the true selfish action here was keeping his son, and he did think it was time to be selfish. "I'm not ready for him either. I don't know if I'll ever be, but I don't want to give him up."

She smiled through her tears. "You want him?"

"I don't know how to play football, though."

She laughed, tears falling free. "That's okay. Dad doesn't either. You can teach him something else."

"I'm not sure I know any games a kid can play."

"We'll figure it out." She grasped his hand that rested on the back of her chair. "We'll figure it out."

He wasn't positive he could raise this child, but as he listened to the powerful beating of his son's heart, he knew that without a doubt he truly wanted to raise this boy. His boy. He was an accident, but Daryl would spend every day of his life ensuring his son knew he wasn't. He wouldn't be. There was no one he could be when just his heartbeat made Daryl's heart race and feel calm at the same time. His son's heartbeat only solidified Daryl's course for the future. He wouldn't be a man worthy of saving anybody if he didn't step up and be a man to his son.


	7. Journey's Only

_**I'm sorry about the delay in posting. I've had both health issues and computer issues.**_

* * *

 _ **Disclaimer: I own nothing.**_

– – –

"Here you go." Carol handed Daryl his leather angel wing vest. "I meant to bring it to school with me, but I was in a rush this morning."

"Thanks." He folded it over his arm, his eyes on the sonogram in his hand.

Carol moved onto her bed, Daryl was anxious about sitting beside her, and she laughed. He knew he was being ridiculous. He had already gotten her pregnant, and there were three adults upstairs. He also had no interest in her like that. He couldn't. It'd be too complicated. She had a date with his coworker, so yeah. Complicated.

"You can come to the next appointment. Mom will probably be there, but she likes you. It'll be okay."

"Yeah, I'll try and make it. I might have to work."

"Couldn't you schedule off?"

"I'm gonna need that money to buy diapers and wipes and cloths for our son," he reminded her. "Not to mention medicine and stuff when he gets sick."

"I wasn't thinking about that."

"You don't have a job, do you?"

"No."

"Well, you'll need to get one. You know that, right?"

"I was filling out job applications." She pointed to her laptop. "I had filled out four, so I played the recording Harlan gave me."

"That's good."

"I can't let my mom and dad support me and my baby. I have to step up. Dad or Merle or whoever was right about us making this bed. I have to lie in it. It's my job to take of this baby."

"Our job."

She smiled. "Our job."

"I'll be there for him. Before he's born and after. I won't let him down. Or you."

"I appreciate that."

"It's what a dad does."

"It was a compliment, not an attack. I don't assume you'll be a lazy father. I just assume we'll struggle through this."

"I don't know how to do much, but I can learn."

"You can start learning tomorrow." Karen was on the steps. "It's one-thirty, it's a school night, and Merle's about to pass out in our armchair."

"It's that late?" He checked his phone. "Sorry. We'll get outta your hair."

"If it were a weekend, I'd let you crash here, but it's not. Sorry."

"Really? I could stay over on the weekend?" He watched her stammer and attempt to backtrack out of statement. "When the baby's born, I mean."

"Oh. You're keeping the baby?"

Carol nodded. "Yes."

"We'll talk about it in the morning, okay? I'm exhausted, and you look exhausted."

"I'm fine, Mom."

"No, you're not. You're tired. Get some rest. You need plenty of rest." She smiled at Daryl. "It was nice to have you over. Have a safe trip home, okay?"

"Yeah. Thanks for invitin' us over and for tellin' me."

"You deserved to know."

He smiled a little and padded up the stairs to get his brother and go home, Karen stumbled over to Carol's bed and plopped down, and Carol poked her.

"You okay?"

"I'm so tired. Could I sleep with you?" She peered over at her. "I don't drool or snore, and I can't carry myself back up those steps."

"Sure." She removed her cardigan and tossed it at her desk chair, slipping under the covers. "Good night, Mom."

"Good night, sweetie."

"Good night," Carol whispered to the baby. Her son. She smiled and flicked the light off.

– – –

"Carol." Andrea embraced her when she saw her, Lori and Karen entering the school. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah. Why wouldn't I be?"

"Because you dropped like a sack in gym yesterday." She held her at arm's length. "You didn't answer your phone when I called."

"Well, we had a hectic day yesterday." Carol glanced at her mom.

"My classroom is open if you want to talk there. I have to stop by the teacher's lounge anyway." She waved goodbye to the girls and sauntered down the hall.

"Your mom's awfully dressy." Michonne commented on Karen wearing a fitting dress. "She looks good."

"Doesn't she always?" Lori shifted her weight and spotted Rick. "Uh, I have to go. I'll catch up with you guys later."

Carol frowned a little.

"So, what happened?" Andrea studied her. "Are you okay?"

"Let's go to my mom's classroom. I'm gonna grab some french toast on the way, because it smells really good."

"Sure."

Michonne and Carol went through the line and got French toast and syrup, slipping out to Karen's empty classroom, and they sat down in the back cluster of desks. Carol dug into her French toast sticks, Michonne and Andrea were eager to learn why she had fainted and if she was okay, and they weren't sure they could wait for her to finish eating. She did seem to be enjoying it, so they would wait. They would just worry themselves into a near-death experience.

"So?" Michonne dunked a stick in syrup.

"Well, I think I should start with the end of school bash Tobin threw." She folded her arms on the desk. "A lot happened that night."

"Yeah, trust me, I know." Andrea mentally kicked herself. "I was so hungover. My dad grounded me for most of the summer."

"That's why I stuck to water." Michonne smirked. "Plus my mom lets me drink at home. Well, she lets me take sips out of her cups and stuff."

"We get it. You have a cool mom." Andrea playfully rolled her eyes at her.

"Guys." Carol looked from Andrea to Michonne. "Could I finish talking, please? It's kind of important, not that yours isn't. I just...really need you guys. Now more than ever. I can't lose you two."

"You won't." Michonne felt the worry that had settled in her gut swell, and she set a hand on Carol's arm. "No matter what you tell us, we're here for you."

"Don't even think that." Andrea locked eyes with her. "We're with you. You're stuck with us."

"Good." She gripped Michonne's hand and smiled. "Because I had sex that night."

"What?" they exclaimed.

She nodded. "Yeah."

"Oh, my God." Andrea stared, her jaw on the floor. "You had sex? Actual sex?"

"I was a little buzzed, so the little voice telling me to stop was a whisper. I wanted to go further, and it just happened." She bit her bottom lip.

"I think I'm having a stroke." Michonne hadn't blinked in about two minutes. "You...had sex? Before us? At Tobin's party?"

"Yeah." She nodded.

"Did you use a condom? Or did you contract something? Is that why you fainted?" Michonne's heart began to race. "Oh, God, Carol."

"What? No. No, I don't have an STD. I'm clean."

"Then why are you telling us?" Andrea tilted her head. "I mean, I'm glad you did. We tell each other everything, but...why did you wait so long? And what does this have to do...with...you...fainting?"

Carol lowered her eyes.

"Carol." Michonne tightened her grip on her. "It's not...that, right? I mean, you did use a condom, right?"

"I don't know if we used one or not, but it broke or...we didn't, and it is. I am." She inhaled. "Five months in October. Er, next week."

"But you had your period. Unless you lied to me." Michonne frowned.

"No, I didn't. It was...some type of discharge. Harlan said it wasn't anything to worry about it."

"But you're actually pregnant? Five months pregnant?" Andrea was whispering.

"I have a picture of the baby." She pulled it out of her purse and showed them. "It's a boy."

"A boy?" Michonne accepted the sonogram of her best friend's baby. "Wow, he's big."

"How are you not showing?" Andrea looked at Carol's belly.

"The doctor says I'm carrying him high, but he'll drop. I don't know when, though." She set her hand on her lower belly. "You should hear the heartbeat. It was amazing."

"I'll bet." Michonne handed the sonogram to Andrea. "Who's the father?"

"Umm...Daryl Dixon."

"Okay. I need air." Andrea shoot up and walked over to the window, prying it open and sucking it in. She gathered her hair up off her neck and closed her eyes.

Carol hugged herself. "Am I overwhelming you guys?"

"No," Michonne said at the same time Andrea choked out, "A little."

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean for this to happen. I'm sixteen. I didn't plan on getting pregnant."

"No one plans on getting pregnant at sixteen." Michonne wrapped an arm around her. "I'm here for you, Carol. I know a few things about babies too, so I can help you with him."

Carol smiled. "Thank you."

"I'm going to be aunt. I don't even have any gum."

Carol laughed. "You have time."

"That's true."

Andrea looked over at Michonne and Carol, still trying to pull air down to the lowest reaches of her lungs to calm herself, and she felt confused. Confused and terrified. This was the type of thing that happened on TV or to really popular students. This wasn't the type of thing that happened to people like Carol, to them. She didn't understand how this was happening, but she knew didn't how she felt about this. Negatively, she could make that much out, but she wasn't sure why.

"I have to use the bathroom. I'll be right back." Carol tossed her breakfast on her way out.

"You all right there?" Michonne joined her girlfriend.

"Our best friend is pregnant." She glanced at her. "Five months pregnant. That's, like, halfway through her pregnancy."

"Yeah."

"How is she going to handle a baby? How are we going to handle being friends with her? I mean, she'll have the baby with her whenever we hang out. We'll be friends with a teenage mother. Like...how even did this happen?"

"She's pregnant, not dying. She'll be fine. She'll get a job. She'll take care of the baby and support it. Daryl will help out. There's no way Axel won't force him to help. The baby will be with Daryl some days too. We can hang out just us girls now and then, but we do need to accept that sometimes Carol will have her son with her."

"Jesus Christ."

"I think you're more panicked than Carol. And why is that? Are you ashamed to know a pregnant sixteen-year-old?"

"No. No, I'm not ashamed of Carol. I love Carol. I just...feel...very ehhh. I don't even have a word for it. It's not shame. Or disgust. I love her. I'm...shaken?"

"That's okay." She pulled Andrea's hand down from her hair and held it. "I'm shaken too, but Carol needs our support right now. I don't know how she'll get through it, but I'll be there to ensure she gets through it okay. I'm going to stand by her, because I love her, and I love the baby too. It's a part of her, so I have to love him."

Andrea smiled faintly. "You're amazing, you know that?"

"Not really. Tell me about it."

"I could just show you." She leaned over and kissed her.

"Not what I lent you my classroom for." Karen entered, holding the door open for Tyreese. "No PDA."

"Sorry." Andrea blushed. "Hey, Ty."

He smiled. "How are you?"

"I'm okay for now. Your sister is brutal, so I don't know how much longer I'll be okay."

He nodded. "She oughta ease off. She won't want to overexert herself or Carol."

"Good, because I don't know if I can handle all those laps when it gets cold. My blood doesn't warm me up fast enough."

"Why wouldn't she want to overexert herself?" Michonne inquired, studying the French teacher. "Is she pregnant too?"

He nodded. "Yeah, about three months, I believe."

"Great. Who isn't pregnant?" Andrea mumbled.

"No one in this room," Karen replied. "Do you have a problem with Carol being pregnant?"

"Well, don't you?" She met Karen's eyes. "I love Carol. I don't think less of her. She's my best friend, but her mom... What if it happens to her too? What if...what if this baby takes away...someone who is like a second sister to me? What then?"

"She's much stronger than her mother. Her body, her mind, her...immune system. She's a strong young woman. I've no doubt she'll be just fine when this is all over. She'll give birth to a healthy baby boy, and it'll be okay. You have no reason to worry."

"But I am worried!" Andrea snapped, tears forming in her gray eyes. "You knew her mom. She was so sick in all the home videos Axel took of her. She was pale and—and small. She was fragile. She could hardly hold Carol."

"Andrea." Michonne tried to comfort her, but Andrea stepped forward.

"I can't bear to watch that happen to her. I can't lose my best friend."

"And you won't." Carol stood in the doorway to the classroom. "Of all the things you have to worry about, Andrea, that isn't one of them. I'm not going anywhere."

"How do you know that?"

"I take after my dad. Have you seen me? Pale and ginger?" She smiled, and Andrea almost returned it. "I'll be fine. I'm not my mom. Just like you're not your mom, Michonne's not her mom, and Lori definitely isn't hers."

"Are you sure about that?"

"Of course I am."

Andrea crossed over to her and hugged her. "I'm holding you to that."

She laughed. "I'll come through."

"You'd better."

– – –

First period was different than usual. They were in the classroom when it was a gym day, Sasha put on an educational movie about why it's super important to be fit and eat right for them to watch while she snacked on fruit and cheese cubes. They moved their desks around to get comfortable, Andrea and Michonne pushed them right beside each other, Michonne moved Carol's so she was trapping Michonne but right up in their grill too, and Carol smiled at the effort.

"I could go for some popcorn." Andrea stared at the screen, about as thrilled as one can be while learning it was best to wait half an hour after eating before exercising. "Extra butter with a large blue slushie."

"Milk duds." Michonne stretched her legs out onto the desk in front of her. "And M & M's."

"Rolos." Carol propped her chin on her knuckles. "Ooh, and some Cheetos."

"Surprisingly normal for someone who's..." Andrea dropped off.

Carol smiled thoughtfully. "It's okay to say it. People will find out anyway."

"You should tell the ones who matter." Michonne nodded to Caesar who was with Shane at the front of the class. "He deserves to know."

"I know he does, and I intend to tell him. Soon."

"It's gonna be today, right? Because the game's tonight." Andrea peeked over her girlfriend at Carol. "I think should know he's taking two out to eat."

"I'll tell him, okay? Just let me figure out how." She slumped in her chair. He was her big crush last year, but she knew it would never happen. She was a speck on the radar, and he was the tower right smack in the middle of it, tossing out waves. She kind of broke her own heart over him, but it turned out he did like her. Or he liked how she looked in a bikini... She shook her head. No, he did like her. He seemed to really like her. He was a nice guy. He wouldn't look at her for just that. Right? That wasn't why he'd asked her out...was it?

She peered over at him. He was a guy. Teenage boys only seemed to want that one thing, which Daryl made clear. He didn't even like her anymore. He just...slept with her and turned into this massive asshole. He did improve last night, but was that for her sake or his son's? She couldn't honestly say. He'd been so cold to her after they'd had sex. Yes, she left, but how could she stay? It wasn't her home. It wasn't her bed. He wasn't her boyfriend or friend. She had no reason to stay, and he had no reason to expect her to stay and wake up next to him. Honestly, the only time they'd ever even spoken was that night. They had that one class together, but that was it. There was nothing special about their conversation. No...sparks, just nerves. She was a human nerve...and wait, what the hell was her point? She was rambling off.

Oh, right, Caesar and sex. She had no proof he wanted to just have sex with her and bounce. She had no proof he was that type of guy, an asshole. He was super sweet to everyone, and he stood up for her when that video came out. Okay, it wasn't exactly her. It was all the people in the video. He told people not to believe everything they saw, and he refused to even watch it according to Shane. He also got into a verbal fight with someone over it. There were a lot of girls in it, so maybe a close friend or girlfriend at the time had been caught on there. Or perhaps a guy friend. He had a lot of friends so it could be any of those reasons.

And that didn't mean he wanted her for just sex. He could actually like her. She had no reason to believe he didn't. Sure, they had never spoken to each other before. Sure, he was on the football team and popular and was older while she was practically a nobody with the same best friends since elementary school. Sure, he had asked her out while she was flaunting off her body in Mom's cute but revealing swim suit, but that didn't mean he wanted sex. That didn't mean he couldn't want to get to know her and be...more with her, be serious. That didn't mean she wasn't the type of girl guys actually liked and didn't want to just fuck and be done with...

She lowered her eyes to the floor, misery seeping into her heart like water that sank a boat, and she set a hand on her stomach. Or maybe she was the girl guys just fucked and moved on from. Maybe she wasn't worth getting to know. She was just some...fun thing to do while the real thing had yet to come. She was the magazine in a waiting room and people like Paula and Lori were the whole reason they were even there. They were the main event, the ones guys stuck around for, the ones they would be vulnerable with and love and marry. They were the ones, and she was the...play thing. A poor outlook to have a sixteen, but hey, what the hell else was there for her to think? After all the first guy to show interest was no prince. He only wanted his vest back after all.

"Hey, you okay?" Michonne touched her arm.

"Yeah, it's an eyelash." She stood up and asked Sasha if she could use the bathroom.

"Sure, take the pass." Sasha couldn't see the tears in Carol's eyes in the poor lighting.

Carol slipped out and headed to the bathroom, but she didn't quite make it before the sound of quick feet hitting the floor caught up to her. She stopped walking and heard panting then boots walking towards her. She rubbed her eye and turned to find Daryl standing there. She lowered her hand and blinked.

"Hey, you okay?" He studied her. "Are you hungry? Thirsty? I have some money. I can get you somethin' from the snack machines. Or I know the lunch ladies, so I can get you somethin' from back there too."

She blinked again.

"I...uh, read that women—er, the mom gets emotional over little things—not that I know what it's about—but if I can help, I'm here. Uh, I even brought some snacks for you. Well, I'm gonna bring you some. I didn't wake up early enough to stop by the store, but I will stop by on my way home tonight. Do you like fruit? What kind do you like best? I just wanna know."

"What?"

"I don't wanna buy you strawberries then find out you're allergic or hate 'em. I ain't too big on fruit to begin with, so it'd go to waste. Though my brother eats anything. He ate a sponge once when he was high."

She laughed. "A sponge?"

"And a tube of toothpaste."

"Gross." She giggled and covered her mouth, he ducked his head at her reaction and peeked at her. "Ah, that's so gross."

"He's gross."

She giggled again and shook her head. "Wait, wait, backtrack some. You read? What did you read?"

"Some articles online."

"When?"

"After we got home."

"Daryl, it was late when you left. How late were you up?" She studied him. "You need to sleep. Or I'll worry about you."

"I'm fine. I don't work tonight. I'll sleep when I get home, catch up." He shrugged. "It's fine."

"It's not, but...I can't make you do anything." She crossed her arms, the hall pass hitting her side at the motion, and she noticed he didn't have the other. "Did you just step out? Without asking?"

"I do it all the time."

"Daryl, you could get in trouble."

"You have the pass. Probably think we both had to go." He turned her around and pushed so she'd know to walk. "C'mon, we can't just stand here. We'll definitely get in trouble if we do."

She fell into step beside him. "You ditched just for me?"

"I wanted to know you were all right—and that movie was shit. I couldn't stomach another minute of it."

"It's both bad and really old." She nodded. "I could practically smell the poodle skirts that fell out of fashion probably weeks before the movie was made."

He snorted and stuffed his hands into his pockets. "Yeah."

She inhaled deeply and wiped at the drying moisture under her eyes. "How'd you know I was upset?"

He didn't want to say he'd been watching her, so he went with another truth. "I sit in the back. I noticed you kinda slumped in your seat, and you weren't sleeping."

She nodded. "I see."

"Don't worry. Most people were on their phones or messin' around."

"That makes me feel a little better, I guess." She rubbed her arm. "Did Caesar see me slump?"

He averted his eyes. "Yeah, he was watchin' you."

She blushed. She said that out loud? "Oh."

"He's a good guy," Daryl continued. "Kind of a prick to work with, but he's all right."

"We have a date tonight."

"So, you're still goin'?"

"I guess."

"You guess? You hadn't thought about talking to him about our kid?"

"Of course not!" She stopped in her tracks. "Daryl, I can't tell him I'm pregnant yet."

"Why not? The whole school's gonna know you are." He reached out and tugged on her new shirt. "You're not exactly slimin' down."

She rolled her eyes. "I'm not a puff yet either."

"But soon, right? He'll see. The whole school will. You gotta tell him. He kinda has a right to know, and I want him to know. For fuck's sake, if he's gonna drive, I want him to be careful. That's my kid."

"You weren't too interested in your kid when I told you about him. I believe you even called bullshit on him even being yours!"

"I was in shock! What other reaction was I supposed to have?"

"I don't know! Okay? I don't. I just know you don't get to decide what I do or who I see. I may be pregnant, but that doesn't mean I'm yours or that I'm incapable of making my own decisions. We'll have a baby together, but we are not together."

"Ooh, and the plot thickens."

Carol turned to see Paula standing a few feet away from them with a smirk on her lips and the other hall pass in her fingers. She scoffed at her luck and wanted to storm away from both of them. God, what the hell was next? A mass Carol and Daryl are pregnant text? It probably would be. Now that she'd had that thought, it so would be.

"Not such a good girl now, are we?" She chuckled. "Not good or safe or smart as she tries to seem."

"Fuck off, Paula." Daryl spat. "This is an A and B conversation."

"Oh, sweetie, this isn't a conversation. It's a fight between Mommy and Daddy." She sucked in a deep, satisfying breath. "See, this is how you separate the girls from the women, Daryl. I'm smart enough to use protection. She was only smart enough to open her legs."

Carol didn't expect that to hurt as much as it did, and she felt cold from shame. She wanted to crawl under a bench and die.

"Watch your mouth," Daryl hissed.

"Aww, I see your crush is flaring up. How adorable. I guess after months of no sex after months of constant sex made you lose your mind and fuck the first pair of tits you saw. Poor you. Now you're stuck to...it for life. Too late to abort?"

"Go to hell," Carol ground out, tears in her eyes.

"I already have a seat reserved there, but thanks for the reminder." She rolled her eyes. "God, you're such a baby. You cry at everything. I bet you cried after he fucked you. Because that's all it was. It was just release, not sweet, lovemaking that you've wanted since you were—what? Fourteen? Fifteen?"

She opened her mouth to retort, but nothing came out.

"What was that? I didn't quite catch that." She held her hand to her ear. "Speak up."

"You can back the hell off right now." Daryl grasped Carol's hand. "You're just pissed that I rejected you, and that is school actually has an attractive and intelligent redhead now. Fuck off." He pulled Carol away, leaving Paula fuming behind them. He guided her to the library, tossing a nod to Zeke to let him know they'd be in the back—which was a small room behind the book room. It was filled with nothing but junk. A small desk, an old chair, musty blankets and no light. It was Daryl's study hole. He came here during his free period last year, and he came here after school until it closed when he didn't have to work. He couldn't study at home. Too many drinks, too many drugs and too much noise. He didn't need the temptation or the distractions.

He sat her down on the chair and flicked the small lamp he'd bought last year on. "Don't listen to her. She's a jealous bitch."

"She's right, though." She snuffled. "Paula's absolutely right about me."

"Those words should never come out of anyone's mouth."

"I didn't even think about condoms. I just...followed my hormones."

"I didn't think about it either. If you were stupid to just open you legs then so was I. I knew better, but I didn't stop."

"But you've had sex before. Is it always like that? Or did you...really just...want me?" she whispered.

He sat on the desk and sighed. "I really wanted you." There was no point in lying. "You... Shit, you were...yeah."

She swallowed. "What does that even mean?"

"It means I couldn't stop myself. You wanted me, and it just...drove me on. I wanted to feel you...all of you, and I didn't want to stop. I had to will myself to get you upstairs."

"You did?"

"Yeah." He blushed somewhat. "I wanted to...be inside you, to feel you around me like that, and shit, it was intense."

"Yeah." She ducked her head.

"You were so small," he commented. "I was scared I'd hurt you. Proved me wrong."

She blushed. "I'm sorry."

He smirked. "I'm not."

She pressed her legs together and knotted her fingers, remembering that night plain as day. "It was nice," she admitted. "More than nice."

"Yeah."

"I had no idea what the hell I was doing. I was so nervous." She sighed. "You made me feel so...much, and then I wasn't nervous. I was...I dunno. Pleasured?"

He snorted. "Pleasured?"

"What?" She lifted her head. "I dunno what word to use."

"I've never done it without a condom," he confessed, "and...feelin' you raw like that... That made it intense for me. It actually was great for me. I mean, it'd been a long while, but I've never...connected like that before."

"What do you mean?"

He swallowed and cleared his throat. "You know."

"No, I don't. That's why I asked."

"We just...synced up real quick is all."

"I just followed your lead." She smiled softly to herself. She liked how he said her name when she matched his pace. It was...sexy. He was sexy. Er, that night. She dared a glance at him and felt embarrassed. "Um...we should get back to class."

"Yeah."

She wasn't sure who flew out of that room first, but she did know there was a ten foot space between them on the walk back to class. She wasn't sure what the hell their relationship was but damn. That night was definitely intense and very fresh in both of their minds. That made possibly dating Caesar...complex. Very complex.

– – –

Carol scanned the halls while Lori dug out her books from her locker, Michonne had gone to dance practice, and Andrea was sitting on the floor, texting her sister. Lori was going home to change for the game, but she didn't know what Carol was doing. They were supposed to meet Mom outside, but Carol's attention seemed to be elsewhere. It was really odd. She was trying to figure out how to ask her what was going on, especially considering the baby was fresh on the rumor mill. (Paula wasted no time.)

"You okay?" Lori closed her locker.

"Yeah. I'm just looking for Caesar." She turned to her sister. "I need to talk to him."

"Well, I don't know where he is, but I'm gonna head outside."

"I'll be there in a few minutes."

"Good luck." Lori offered a smile. "Whatever you decide, good luck."

"Thanks."

Lori headed down the hall, Andrea rose off the floor and said goodbye to Carol before trailing after Lori, and Carol blew out a sigh. She didn't know where to find him. She could try the locker room, but she didn't want to go down there if she was wrong. It smelled like sweat and air freshener. She wasn't sure if she could handle it, especially with her ultra sensitive nose. God, she could still smell the funky ass "ribs" they served at lunch. She hoped the baby didn't want any of that, because she refused to put that in her body. Refused.

"Carol." Caesar parted with his friends and jogged over to her. "Hey, I was just looking for you."

"Me too." She glanced around. "Could we go somewhere a little more private?"

"Yeah. I can give you a ride home, if you want."

"A...ride home?"

He nodded. "I'm a good driver. Don't worry. My...dad's kinda overprotective, so I learned to drive the Granny way first. You can trust me."

"Okay. Let me just text my mom."

"Sure."

She sent her mom a quick text, she sent back that it was okay, and Carol left with him, feeling a bit anxious. Paula had really gotten her pregnancy rumor burning hot, and pretty much everyone was talking about it. People were staring at her all day, and she was tempted to hide in the bathroom at lunch. It was embarrassing and uncomfortable. It was true, but what gave them the right to gawk at her like she had something wrong with her. Sure, she was young to be pregnant, but it was a normal thing to be pregnant. Most people waited until marriage and job security, but still...normal.

"Here." He opened the door for her and tossed his backpack into the backseat.

"Oh, thanks." She sank into the passenger seat and set her purse on her lap.

He climbed inside and started the car, kicking on the heat. "So, what time should I pick you up tonight?"

"Umm...about that." She fiddled with the strap to her purse and avoided eye contact. "I don't think I can make it."

"Why not? Is everything okay?"

"Well, yes. Technically, everything is okay." She bit her bottom lip. "Look, Caesar—"

"It's because you're pregnant, right?"

She paled and nodded. "Yes."

"First time Paula wasn't lying," he muttered. "Huh. Think hell is frozen?"

She chuckled once. "Probably."

He leaned back. "So, who's the dad?"

"Daryl is."

"I didn't know you two were even together."

"We're not. It...happened after a one night stand. I don't usually do that. I mean, it was my first time. I'm not... I don't sleep around." She felt her cheeks burning. "It just sorta happened."

"You don't have to explain. It's okay." He rubbed his jaw. "First time I'll be the third wheel on a date."

"What?" Her brows furrowed.

"And to an unborn dude." He moistened his lips. "Well, I guess it's a first time for everything."

"What are you talking about? You'd still take me out? After I just told you I'm pregnant? By a different guy?"

"If you still want to go, I still want to take you." He smiled. "We can just be friends, and I've always wanted to be an uncle, which is hard when you're an only child."

"You're serious?"

"I'm dead ass serious." He straightened in his seat. "I asked you to the game and out for food, and I'll follow through. I'm just that type of guy. Besides I like you. I'd like to get to know you."

She returned his smile. "I like you too."

"So...is that a yes?"

She nodded. "Yeah, it's a yes."

He grinned. "Okay then." He buckled himself in.

She did the same and paused. "Wait. Wait a sec. How did you know it's a boy?"

He paused in backing up and smiled with guilt lacing every curve. "Okay, so I knew last night that you were pregnant."

"Last night?" she gaped. "How?"

He ran a hand through his hair. "Daryl came by the house last night to talk to my dad. He wanted to work more hours, said he had an...upcoming family matter and needed more money. He explained it when my dad pushed, and he said he would have a son he needed to support. He didn't give any names, but I kind of figured it was you. I was at that party. He...watched you, worked up the nerve to talk to you, so I pieced it together."

Her eyes burned. "Damn it."

He reached over and clasped her hand. "Don't cry. You have nothing to be ashamed of. Plenty of girls have gotten pregnant in high school. It's not the end of the world. You can still do all you wanted. Prom and graduation and school parties. You can have fun. You'll just be a mom who's at prom, who's graduating, who's at a party. You're not losing out, Carol. You're gaining."

"How can you see it that way?"

"I'm a glass is half full kind of guy." He squeezed her hand. "It'll be okay." He had to support his dad through a lot after his mom left, so he was used to playing this part. He wanted to. High school was hell, and it'd only get worse, because Paula wanted it to. He'd stand by Carol through this. Daryl might not consider him a friend, but Caesar definitely thought of Daryl as a friend. He'd treat Carol and his friend's son right. He always loved having new friends and new experiences, and if he could support Carol and make her smile when the world felt against her then...that was awesome. Having a friend meant more in the end than having a girlfriend. He was still...somewhat hung over his ex still, so it worked out. He didn't want to put Carol in a relationship while he was still getting over someone else.

Caesar made sure she was all right before he made to pull out, his eyes finding Daryl in the parking lot, studying the pair. He knew he would have some explaining to do, but for now he had to get Carol home and get ready for the game tonight. He would talk to Daryl at work tomorrow. He hoped Daryl knew him well enough to know he wasn't making a move on Carol now. They would be just friends. But judging by the glare Daryl had given him, he didn't know Caesar all that well, and he might kick his ass tomorrow at work. Joy.

––

"Wear something warm," Axel told the girls. "Like sweats, sweaters."

"I'm already dressed." Lori wore jeans with a turtle neck and tennis shoes. "Rick's bringing a blanket with the school symbol on it for us."

"What time are you coming home again?"

"About ten." Lori folded her arms. "The game is first then dinner. There'll be no sex, Dad. Scouts honor."

"That's not funny. And you weren't a scout."

She rolled her eyes. "Your constant questions aren't funny either. Rick has condoms, and that doesn't mean we're going to use them. We care about each other, but...that's a big step. We're willing to wait."

He nodded. "At least you're thinking ahead."

"Wow, that's not a kick in the teeth at all." Carol scoffed. "Thanks, Dad."

He didn't look at her. "Have a good time tonight, Lori. Be careful. It might rain."

"We have ponchos." Lori glanced at her sister, who looked deeply hurt by her father ignoring her. "And umbrellas."

There was a knock on the door, Rick was coming to pick up both Carol and Lori, because Caesar was playing. He was already dressing out and warming up or whatever the coach had them do, so Rick offered to be the driver. At least to the game. Once it was over, they would be head their separate ways. Lori wanted to just drive around with him and talk. She loved spending time with him, and she didn't want to be tempted. A few kisses here and there were okay, but she didn't want to go any further. She knew he would understand saying no, but she wasn't ready to be in that situation yet. He understood that too, especially given Carol's erm, situation.

Lori and Carol headed out, Axel wasn't in the mood to interrogate Rick, but he did a brief questioning. He liked the kid. It was good to know at least one of his daughters had decent taste in guys. He watched them pile into the car, Rick pulled out slowly, and he waited until the headlights faded around the first corner. He sighed and closed the door, hearing the second to last step creak.

Karen came off the steps in a tight-fitting sweater and jeans, and he found it funny she opted for her gray faux leather boots over her rain boots. She normally wore rain gear out the ass, so this was interesting. She looked good. Beautiful. He wondered how things were between them, but he pretty much knew there was still thin ice. It'd take more than his apology to heal the wounds he'd inflicted by saying Carol wasn't hers.

Karen slipped into her winter coat and checked for her knitted cap and gloves. She glanced at the clock and decided to head out. She wasn't fond of running concession, but it kept her out of the cold and out of having to watch the students watch the game. She hated babysitting all those students—and even their parents sometimes—so she would be glad to cozy up to the heater and slather hot dogs in ketchup and chips with nacho sauce. Tyreese would be good company. Or Sasha? She wasn't sure which one was in with her, but either way, she would be happy to have company for the slow times. Especially a pregnant woman. She could learn from Sasha to help with Carol. Maybe.

"You look nice," Axel commented.

"Thank you." She didn't look at him. "Did the girls dress appropriately? And by appropriate, I mean according to the weather."

"Yeah, sweaters and jeans."

"Have you spoken to Carol yet?" She cut a look at him.

"No."

"I figured." She sighed and walked over to the door, twisting the knob and pausing to say. "She's still your little girl, Axel. She's just not so little anymore. Nothing has to change."

"Our entire world is gonna change."

"But nothing has to change between the two of you." With that, she was gone.

He heaved a sigh himself and glanced at the pictures lining the bookshelf he had built years ago with his own father. Carol and Lori were inseparable from the time they met. Carol didn't like to sleep without Lori, and Lori always fussed if she was in the play pin without Carol. They were as thick as thieves, and he loved them both so much. He didn't know he could love so much after such heartache, but it happened. With each little giggle and pulling on his beard and his face. Lori was especially found of sitting on his face to wake him up when she was hungry, and he nearly suffocated about five times before he locked them out of his room after long work nights.

He found the picture of the girls in fifth grade. It was their first school Halloween party. They had all gone as witches—it was Michonne's idea—and they came by the house before leaving for the dance. They were each others date, and they were gone till about eight then Karen took them out for ice cream and to pick up some candy since they didn't go trick or treating, and they all came back here and crashed in the living room. They had to avoid limbs to carry the girls up to Carol and Lori's shared bedroom, and they stayed up to watch scary movies and eat the candy they'd bought for the girls. Karen passed out, so he carried her up to their room and let her sleep. He spent the night recording the events in a journal then went to bed himself.

He picked up the photo of Karen and the girls from their first pumpkin patch trip as a family. It'd been only three years since Angela had passed, and Karen had finally convinced him to come along, and he didn't regret it. It was a chilly day, but the sun was out. They had a blast. The girls found the perfect little pumpkins for themselves, Karen picked out three for them to carve—one for both girls, and one for the parents—and they had warm cider and hot chocolate. They went on a hay ride, and they filled up their camera with photos. And this was his favorite.

It was windy in the afternoon, Karen's hair was blown in her face too many times to count, and she really wanted a picture of her and the girls. Normally she just had the girls, because she didn't have someone to take the photos. She didn't want to interrupt the other families' fun, so she only got pictures of the girls, so she begged him for this photo. He caved, and just as he took the photo, this massive gust of wind and came without an equally massive pile of leaves that had been raked up and covered the girls. The pictures that followed were of laughter, and it made him smile and laugh. For the first time in three years, he experienced actual laughter. It was an important day for him, and Karen was so thrilled she cried, which lead to the girls dog piling her to make her feel better. And that was the photo he now held in his head. They were laughing and attacking Karen in hugs five-year-old hugs, and Karen laughed through her tears and hugged them both.

Angela never got to take photos like that. Carol was too young, and then Angela was too weak. That was part of Axel's worry. Carol was too young, and his heart was too weak to tolerate any more loss. He didn't want anything to happen to her or the baby. He loved his daughter more than anything in the entire world, so naturally he wanted to protect her. He just didn't know how. He only went off on the marriage tangent, because it's what he thought they should do. He didn't want his grandson to be a bastard. He didn't want Daryl to be able to run off. He didn't want that little jerk to miss out at the same time.

Carol was by every definition an accident. They weren't trying to get pregnant. They weren't trying to be adults. They were twenty-four, Angela was working and trying to figure out her major, and he was seeking opportunities for employment in his field. They were living life, building stability and careers, and then all of sudden Angela was sick all the time. Her health hadn't always been sparkling, but they knew something was wrong, and that something was Carol. This little round three month mass of pulsing life. This unexpected gift. Angela wasn't thrilled at first, knowing she'd miss work and classes, but Axel was shouting it from the rooftops. He was going to be a dad, and he was walking on sunshine. He was happy about for the both of them, and then suddenly, totally out of the blue, Angela was...pumped. She was elated to be having a baby, and she dropped out of school. She found a job with insurance, and she looked for a house. Axel didn't know then she was preparing them for what might happen after...

Well, back to the point. Axel had found such purpose and joy in being a father, and he wanted Daryl to experience that. He didn't like the kid. It wasn't a stretch to say he even hated him, but that feeling of holding your child...of seeing those big eyes on you...is indescribable, and he wanted Daryl to feel it. He wanted Daryl to look at his son and feel obligated to make every second of his life happy. To ensure he was safe and prepared and educated and was able to make and achieve his goals. He wanted Daryl to become a man when he saw his child, because there was no more fooling around. He had life in this world, and he couldn't squander his anymore. This child's life was far more important than anything else Daryl would have. Daryl just didn't know that yet.

Isolating his daughter was no way to help her, but he didn't know what to say. He never did. Angela did. Karen did. He just wasn't a word smith, and he had accepted that long ago, but right now his daughter was hurting, and this silence was only making it worse, so it was time he read over that journal. He'd written down so much over the years, and he had many copies, and every year on both her birthday and New Years, he read the contents of the journal to Angela's grave. He didn't want her to miss a single detail. It was how he kept her memory alive, and now perhaps it was how he mended the bond between him and his daughter.

He ran a hand through his hair. The future was undecided and mysterious, filled with surprises—obviously—so maybe the past could help. It was done and certain, so it couldn't hurt. And if it did, he'd just have to lay it all on the table and hoped Carol understood. He wasn't sure which would fail first, but third time was the charm. He had one more shot. He hoped. He'd been an ass for so long. He might want to buy or give her something to break the ice, and he had an idea on just what to get her.


	8. Beginning

_**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**_

– – –

"Dude, it's fucking cold." Andrea cuddled closer to Lori under the blanket Rick had brought. "I can't feel my fingers."

"Uh-huh." Carol was practically in Michonne's lap. She had moved between the two for their body heat, and it wasn't working well. Michonne just laughed and tossed an arm around Carol, rubbing her shoulder. "I wish we had a bond fire."

"What, like hobo style?" Andrea chuckled.

"Yep, a hobo fire." She giggled.

"When you get to the end of your pregnancy, this cold will probably feel good," Michonne commented. "My mom had the house so cold we didn't even need the fridge. If you put a cup of water or coffee out, it'd be frozen when you went back for it."

"I remember." Lori pulled her legs in and rested her head on Rick's shoulder. "I caught a cold."

"Hell, we might all catch a cold." Andrea shuddered.

"It's almost over." Michonne gestured to the field.

"I don't even know what the hell is going on down there," Carol admitted. "I just want a corndog."

"I'll get you one," Michonne offered.

"No, but thanks. I'll stick it out. I've already had two, so."

"You sure?"

"Yeah, I should save room for the place Caesar and I are going after."

"Okay." She glanced at Rick and Lori. "Am I taking you two home later?"

"No, I borrowed my mom's car," Rick replied. "Carol is going with Caesar, and Andrea with you."

"Good, because as much as I love you guys, I'd like to spend some time with my girlfriend."

"Sorry." Carol started to pull away.

"Hey, did I say you could move?" she teased. "My nephew and I are bonding. Get back here."

She smiled and stayed put. "Thanks."

"Why? I'm just trying to beat out the rich girl and the one that's gonna be living with him." She winked, and Carol laughed.

"Hey." Andrea lightly tapped Carol with the tip of her shoe. "She's mine."

"Trust me, I come with too much baggage."

"I work out." Michonne flexed.

"Whose side are you on?" Andrea mused.

"What can I say? I like the light eye." Michonne smirked back at her girlfriend.

"Get a room," Lori rolled her eyes.

"Maybe later."

Andrea blushed and buried her face in her scarf, Carol tried not to laugh, and Lori arched a playful brow at Michonne's forward statement. Rick wasn't sure what to say, so he kept his eye forward. He had missed most of the game, but it'd been nice to spend time with Lori and her friends. His friends were always rowdy, so they would end up shouting their throats sore, and Rick couldn't hear anything but cheers and whooping for about half an hour after the game. It was calmer over here. He figured it had to do with the pregnant... er, with Carol. It had to do with Carol.

Soon—thankfully—the game was over, they waited until everyone had left before they even tried to leave, and Karen met them by the ticket booth where Tyreese and Sasha were along with Dale. Karen asked when they'd be home, Rick assured them by ten, and Carol said the same, waiting for Caesar to come and join them.

"We'll catch you later." Lori and Rick departed.

"Do you want us to hang around?" Michonne inquired, not seeing number 11 make his appearance yet.

"If I want Andrea to freeze to death." She shook her head. "Go on. I'll be okay."

"If you say so." She laced her fingers through Andrea's. "See ya."

"Bye. Stay warm." Andrea smiled and waved as they headed to Michonne's cars.

"Bye, guys!" Carol called, stuffing her hands into her coat pocket.

"All right, my bed and heavy wool socks are calling my name." Sasha exhaled, her breath visible. "Also some chocolate."

"Drive safe." Tyreese hugged her.

"You too." Her eyes lingered on Carol before she hurried off towards her car.

Carol moved closer to her mom, Karen wrapped her arms around her, and Carol smiled. She noticed Tyreese was still waiting with them, all snug in his black coat and beanie, and she felt guilty for him staying. She didn't want to make him get sick. Or her mom, but that was no telling her to go home before Carol was gone.

"You don't have to wait with us," Carol politely informed the French teacher. "It's nice, but we'll be okay."

"I have to make sure everyone leaves," he replied. "Plus, I have a popcorn mess I'm avoiding."

She nodded.

Karen smiled at him and rested her chin on Carol's head. "We appreciate it."

Carol's eyes moved to the movement across the parking lot, Caesar jogged over to them with damp hair, and Karen frowned instantly.

"Sorry. I had to shower. I smelled like dirt and sweat." He dragged a hand through his wet hair. "You ready?"

"Yeah." She nodded.

"Caesar, you shouldn't be out here with wet hair. You'll catch your death," Karen lectured.

"Well, I'll be in my car in, like, two seconds, and the heat will dry it. It's all good." He flashed a reassuring smile and guided Carol towards his car.

"Kids." Karen huffed.

"He's most likely freezing and wants to be in his car for the heat," Ty replied. "He'll be okay."

"He'd better be. He's driving my daughter and grandson and himself." She met his eyes as he chuckled. "I'm going to stress the entire night."

"Come on, I'll buy you a cup of coffee."

"Thanks. I needed something to go with my stress." She smirked at him. "I'll help you with the popcorn."

"What popcorn?"

"The mess you had." She pointed back towards the statium.

"Oh, that was a lie."

"But you told us..." she trailed off. "Oh. I get it. Right."

He chuckled. "Let's get out of this cold. I think you're brain freezing."

"Shut up." She fell into step beside him. "I'm worried over my daughters being out with guys."

"Right, right." He nudged her, and she chuckled. "I won't tell a soul."

"Gee, thanks." But she did mean it.

– –

Caesar dragged his hair through the puffy curls that had formed there on the drive over, Carol hugged his coat closer to her, and he blew out a sigh, trying not to laugh. He probably looked like a clown by now. Oh, well.

"Did you like the game?"

Carol pursed her lips. "Yeah. Yeah, it was...fun."

He chuckled. "You had no idea what was going on."

"Not a clue. Sorry."

"No, it's okay. At least you came." He took a drink of his soda and fiddled with the straw. "Have you talked to Daryl?"

"No, not since school." She straightened in her seat. "Why?"

"Just wondering." He cleared his throat. "So, are you nervous?"

"Nervous?" This was just a friendly meal, right? She didn't need to be nervous. Or...did she?

"About the baby." He gestured to her stomach.

"Oh." She set a hand over her belly. "Yeah. Definitely. I'm terrified."

"And you're keeping him?"

"Yes, we are."

"Wow. I'm impressed." He smirked. "I can't commit to what type of animal I want, and here you and Daryl are...about to raise a baby. Woof."

"I just hope we don't tear each other's heads off. We're two different people. We were raised in different environments, and we have different beliefs. I know we'll butt heads a lot. I just hope we can reach a consensus without...putting our son in the middle of it. I don't want him to feel he has to pick a side, you know?"

"Totally." He nodded. "There's gonna be a lot of bickering. You oughta try and get it out of the way before the kid's here."

She smiled faintly. "I doubt that's possible. Daryl's not big on talking. How can we bicker if we hardly talk?"

"You talked when he followed you out of first."

She blushed. "You saw that?"

"Yeah."

"He was just checking on me for the baby's sake."

Ceasar returned her previous faint smile. "I don't think that's all he was worried about."

"He doesn't like me in that way. We're just...getting to know each other. It's going to be a long road, and I'm not even sure what to expect."

"He's a good guy. He'll do right by you and your son. Don't worry about that."

"You two must be close. I have no clue what he's like." Save for what he's like in bed, but that was an entirely different subject.

"We're not. At all. I've just worked with him since we were fourteen."

"Your dad can work fourteen year olds?" She frowned.

"We were mostly the cleaning crew. I signed for him a lot, did a few of his duties that were super simple, and Daryl cleaned the employee bathrooms and the floor. When he turned fifteen, Dad gave him more responsibilities. Then at sixteen he was able to work more on the floor and in the back. He's one of our best. He comes in early, works late if we need him to, and he hardly ever complains. He's a good worker, and he's been there for my dad whenever my dad needed him. That's how I know he's a good guy too."

She smiled. "That's reassuring."

"You two should set dates."

"Dates?" Her brows furrowed. "What do you mean?"

"Like date. Only without being girlfriend/boyfriend. You go out and get to know each other. You only have... I dunno, four? Five months?" She nodded and held up four fingers. "Okay, so you have four months until the boy's here. You might as well spend it getting to know each other. Every dark secret, every painful memory—it's gonna suck, but you're pretty much bound for life. Might as well make it something good come out of it. Well, something good of your own choosing."

"You know, for a jock, you're pretty smart."

He grinned. "Thanks." He traced the condensation on his cup. "And, you know, for a pregnant nerd, you're pretty cool."

She giggled. "Thanks."

They spend the rest of the night talking. Carol hadn't had such a good time in far too long, and Caesar made her laugh so much. She missed how good it felt to laugh and feel normal. She hadn't felt normal since that awful day in gym when she passed out, but being here in the diner under poor lighting and ingesting yummy grease-burgers, she felt like she did last month. She was so relieved to know she could feel like this even in her condition. She couldn't thank Caesar enough for that, but she had a feeling he knew. He was a good guy too, and she thought if their relationship progressed like this then he would be the uncle to her son. He definitely had a big brother feel to him, even if he used to be her biggest crush ever. Crushes fade, but a relationship where they felt like family? That was...forever. Corny, but true.

They shared a sundae before Caesar paid, Carol tried to, but he had fast reflexes. She left the tip, and they headed out. He opened the car door for her, and she slipped in. She checked her phone and saw a couple of texts from Lori, but it was just letting her know she'd be home a little late. She asked Carol to try and be on time so Lori didn't get chewed out.

"So, where to now?" Caesar checked the clock and saw they had at least half an hour. "Want to come over to my place?"

She blinked. "What?"

"I didn't mean anything by it. My dad's home, so we could probably watch some TV in the living room, or something."

"Umm, I think you should probably just take me home. I'm kinda tired." She wasn't kidding. She could pass out right here, right now, but she was trying to be polite and stay awake. It was damn near mission impossible, especially as the heater blew out warm air that was lulling her to sleep.

"All right. Maybe next time."

"Next time?" She scratched her cheek.

"Well, you don't have to suffer through the game," he assured her with a laugh, as she sounded like he wanted to take her to the dentist to get every tooth in her head pulled. "We can just go to the movies or something."

"We could always go shopping and braid each others hair," she teased.

He sucked air in through his teeth. "I can't braid. I can't even attempt to braid."

"It's so easy."

"Because you know how to do it," he replied. "If I put you on the football field and had you play my part, you'd be so lost."

"I'm not physically fit enough to play or even fake play football."

"I think you're fit enough, just... It's a little unfair. I mean, it's two against one no matter what."

She smiled. "I doubt he can help me."

"You never know."

"Did you pass Biology?"

"I scrapped by." He smiled when she laughed. "Let's get you home. I have to work tomorrow. Morning shift."

"That sounds awful."

"It is, but I get the afternoon off, so it works."

She inhaled and leaned back against the seat. "Is having a job hard?"

"Depends on the job." He turned the radio off. "My job is simple, routine. It's the family business. I'll probably do the same job when I graduate, maybe find my own thing to do as a hobby, but as an only child, it'll be my business one day."

"Do you like it?"

"Yeah, well enough."

She sighed. "I have to get a job to support the baby." She stacked her arms on her stomach. "I don't even know what I can do while pregnant or...for a job. I worked over the summer, but that was easy. I had Lori. Now it's just me. I don't even know what I can do in other fields. Like fast food. Or a grocery store."

"Where do you want to work?"

"A pet store."

"You know, Maggie's dad owns a vet clinic." He glanced at her. "He's looking for someone to help out with the animals. Nothing fancy, just like water, food, attention. Cleaning kennels. You should check that out. He's a good guy."

"Hershel, right?"

"Yeah." He nodded. "I did it part-time last summer, and it was kind of cool. I got to spend time on their farm too. I got to help birth a cow. It was awesome. Very vivid and...the fluid ruined my clothes, but it was awesome."

"Maybe." She closed her eyes. "I could work with animals and get paid for it. That'd be awesome."

"And you could work the desk while you're pregnant. Maggie and Shawn—her older brother—do it during the summer, and their family friend Patricia runs it during the school year, but you could give it a try. I mean, I'm sure Pat wants a day off."

"Okay. I'll give it a shot."

"I can drive you over there tomorrow afternoon. It's pretty slow on the weekend, but if you really want to try it..." He trailed off at the soft snoring coming from his passenger seat, and he chuckled. "Or I'll just chat with your unconscious body." He adjusted the heat and continued driving back to her house. He wanted to listen to the radio, but he didn't want to wake her, so he tapped his thumbs on the wheel and mumbled lyrics to songs.

By the time he got her home, she was gone. He had to carry her out of the car, which was easy. The girl hardly weighed anything, and they didn't have steps for him to worry about. He adjusted her carefully in his arms, and he had to knock with the tip of his shoe. He hoped someone was home, because there was no way he could wake her up to ask where the spare key was. Or where her key was, for that matter.

The door opened, and her dad stood there, blinking at the sight of his daughter snoozing in the arms of a boy he didn't even know.

"Hello, sir. I'm Caesar Martinez. I took Carol out tonight—strictly as friends—and she fell asleep on the ride over."

"Right, you're the football player." He leaned down and carefully lifted Carol from his arms. "Thank you for bringing her home safe."

"Of course." He handed over her purse. "Here."

"Thanks." He tossed it onto the table beside him just inside the door and met the boy's eyes. "It's nice to meet you, Caesar. I'm glad Carol has responsible friends."

"Daryl is responisble," Caesar remarked. "People make mistakes. Uh, sir."

"Obviously."

"If we all jugded people by their mistakes, where would we be?" He stepped back. "I have to get home, but...some food for thought."

Axel watched the boy jog back to his car and pull off. He closed the door and carried Carol over to the couch, setting her down and removing her shoes. He noticed how swollen her feet were inside her bright green and pink stripped socks. He pulled the blanket off the back of the couch and covered her, setting her shoes by the door. He peered over at his sleeping daughter and lowered his eyes to the floor. A gift wouldn't suffice. Not for the giant ass he'd been. He'd need something bigger, a gesture...

He jumped when the front door closed, and Karen walked inside. "Jesus!"

"Sorry." She held her hands up. "I didn't mean to scare you."

"You sure?" He held his heart.

"Trust me, if I was looking to kill you, I'd go for a more direct approach." She patted his shoulder as she walked by and saw Carol on the couch. "I see someone had a good time."

"I guess. Her...friend brought her home like this."

"Ah." She removed her boots, being as careful as she could. She didn't want to wake Carol. "I'm going to bed. I'm exhausted."

"Where were you?"

"Out with a friend. We had a couple drinks." She studied him. "Where about you? Did you do anything fun?"

"Define fun."

She giggled. "I think _you_ need a couple drinks."

"Yeah, as a warm-up."

"Let's go out then. Tomorrow. You and me. Just like old times."

He smiled. "I'd like that."

"Then it's settled. I'll see you in the morning."

"Good night."

"Night." She kissed his cheek then Carol's forehead and slipped upstairs.

Axel chuckled to himself at Karen's good mood, and he sat down to wait for Lori. He wasn't tired yet, and he wanted to make sure she got home all right. He also wanted to keep an eye on Carol and make sure she didn't need anything or didn't roll off the couch. She did it all the time when she was a baby. Now she was having a baby, and he really didn't want her to fall off. The wood floor would bruise the crap out of her. It always had.

"Mmm..." Carol's eyes opened. "Daddy?"

"Hey, kid." He spoke softly. "Go back to sleep. It's late."

"What time is it?" She looked around for a clock. "Where's Caesar?"

"He dropped you off. You fell asleep on the drive back home."

"Oh." She sat up, still drowsy. "I'm gonna go to bed."

"Why don't you just stay on the couch?"

"Because I want my pajama socks." She stood up and stumbled, but caught her balance. "And I want my bed."

"All right. Do you want a hand?"

"Sure."

He helped her downstairs to her bedroom, watching her stumbling and trip about to change into her pajamas, and she collapsed onto her bed, burying her face in the soft pillowcase. He covered her up and flicked off the main overhead light and was about to leave when she called to him.

"Yeah?"

"Tell me a story." She was on her back now, arms stacked over her stomach, eyes drooping somewhat. He saw a flash of a messy haired four year old who wanted him to read Peter Pan to her for the hundredth time, swallowing yawns and pretending to not be tired. Her big blue eyes looking at him with such joy as he grumbled as Captain Hook and mused as Peter Pan. She would say all of Tinker Bell's lines, and when she finally couldn't say another line, he'd kiss her forehead, tuck her in and make sure to leave her door cracked. It was more for him, but she never complained.

"What story should I read?" He approached her bookshelf, which was overflowing with books yet remained organized. A skill he had taught her when she was young and wanted to "help" him work his cases. It was sweet. She was his best worker. She always got a gold star and a pudding cup with crushed Oreos and whipped cream. It was her favorite as a kid.

"Not from a book." She rubbed her eye. "Tell me how you and Mom met."

"You know that story."

"I know, but I want to hear it. Please. You hardly tell it, and I rarely ask."

He released a sigh and sat down on the bed, taking her hand. "I don't want to talk about Mom tonight, sweetie."

She frowned but nodded.

"But I do want to talk to you and Daryl tomorrow."

Her eyes widened involuntarily. "Why?" It came out as a whisper.

"I just need to talk to you both. I know he has a job, so I'll try and work around his hours and mine, but what I have to say can't wait." He shook his head. "I can't believe that prick's gonna be my grandson's father."

"Dad—"

"I'm not attacking him. It's just...instinct."

"It wasn't his fault I'm pregnant, not entirely. The fault is equally shared."

"I know, kid. Trust me, I know." He exhaled deeply. "Why don't I read you guys _The Little Prince_? It used to be your favorite."

"When I was four."

"Well, I think my grandson should be introduced to the book I know every word to." She giggled. "Every. Word."

"Then get it."

He pulled the worn book from the shelf and climbed onto the bed with her, cracking it open and chuckling at the little wheeze the spine gave. Carol then reached over and gently stroked the line of the spine, and he smiled. She used to do that when she was a kid, and it squeaked because it was new. She would love that sound, and apparently she loved the worn wheeze it gave out now too.

Carol snuggled closer to her dad, resting her head on his forehead to peek at the pages of the book she still very much adored, and Axel began to read. He knew Carol was already asleep before he turned the first page, but he had no way of knowing if his grandson was awake or not, so he would keep reading. After all, his voice was the first Carol heard to this story, so his voice should be the first his grandchild heard. Once he was born and in this world, the only male voice he would really hear would be Daryl's. Axel had to squeeze in somehow.

– – –

"Hey, Daryl." Carol walked the line of her rug in her bedroom that Saturday morning, sporting stretchy pants and a tank top due to the fact that she'd had heavy "snack" and her belly was not having her jeans. "It's me. Carol."

"I figured." He sounded groggy. "What's up? Is everything okay?"

"Yeah. Well, mostly."

"What does that mean?"

"My dad wants you to come over."

He was wide awake now, and he shot upright in his bed. "Why does he want me to come over?"

"For breakfast. He has a meeting at noon, but he wants to talk to us." She set a hand on her stomach. "It's about the baby, but I don't know much else."

Daryl groaned. "He's gonna castrate me, that's what else."

"He wouldn't."

"Yeah, well, you didn't knock up anyone's daughter."

That caught her attention. "Have you gotten another girl pregnant before?"

"Why do you ask that?"

"Don't avoid the question." She lowered her voice. "Have you gotten another girl pregnant?"

"No, I haven't. There was a scare once, but nothin' ever came of it." He rubbed the back of his neck. "I'm usually a lot more careful."

"Yeah, me too."

"What time should I be there?"

"In, like, an hour would be best. Dad's about to make breakfast. Lori's out with Mom right now, so it'll be just the three of us. Four, if you count the fetus."

"Your dad does."

She pushed hair out of her face. "Just try and hurry over, please. I want this over as soon as possible."

"Yes, ma'am."

"Don't call me that."

"Okay, how about Roger Dodger?"

"Are you drunk?"

"I had a couple drinks last night, but I'm good."

"How many is a couple?"

He didn't want to recount the amount of fireball he'd choked down last night, so he lied and said seven shots. He didn't want her to know about the massive amount of pressure he was drowning in, and honestly he'd rather just drink it away for another night and then deal with it. Maybe they could even deal with it together. Maybe not. Who the hell could say?

"Please don't show up here drunk. I don't want you driving drunk or hungover, and I don't want to give my dad more ammo to hate you."

"I'm not drunk. Or hungover. I'll be there in twenty minutes. Well, maybe thirty. I need a shower."

"Okay. I'll see you soon."

"Yeah."

She hung up and headed upstairs to find her dad making apple pancakes, which was her mom's favorite's food in the entire world, and she nearly checked his pulse to make sure he was all right. He'd only ever made them for her once before—when she was, like, thirteen. She'd just gotten her first period and was upset and embarrassed, because she'd bleed through her panties and jeans. She didn't even know she'd started until Lori jumped out of her seat to cover Carol's butt when they were about to head outside for gym. She cried the entire time the nurse called her dad, and the only reason she calmed down was because he'd made her those pancakes. They were so delicious. He fed them to her, and they watched some movies and just chilled the entire afternoon. It was awesome.

But she wasn't crying. She hadn't just gotten her period, so why in hell was he making them? Because she was pregnant? She was about to have his first grandchild? Was that the reason? Was it a special occasion for him? What on earth was he going to talk to her and Daryl about? This was stressing her out!

"Hey, Dad." She set her hands on the island. "What's up?"

"Is Daryl coming over?"

"Yeah, he'll be over in 20 minutes or so. He might have to shower. He worked last night." She pointed to the pancakes. "What're you making?"

"Just breakfast."

She smacked her arms down. "Dad, that isn't just breakfast. That's _Mom's_ breakfast. And not Karen."

"I know."

"You never make apple pancakes, and I've begged you to. Many times."

"They sounded good," he grumbled. He honestly needed some of his wife by him for this conversation. This was all he could do to bring some of her back, and he hoped it was enough, because he wanted to strangle Daryl, not encourage him to be in their lives forever. But this was for his grandchild and his daughter. He loved her more than anything, and he loved his grandchild just as much, so he either sucked up his feelings and helped them handle this, or he'd lose out on being a grandfather and a father. He couldn't drop the ball with this.

Daryl arrived ten minutes sooner than they expected, Axel handed him a plate, and Daryl was worried it might be poisoned. He accepted it and asked Carol if they kept any rat poison or anything in the house. She rolled her eyes and continued to devour hers. He tested it and didn't taste anything out of the ordinary. They were actually fucking awesome. He could see why Carol was chowing down, and he had to resist licking the plate when he was done. Man, he hoped Carol knew how to make them and made them for their kid so he could steal some here and there.

"Did you like them?" Carol drank milk to chase down her final bite.

"Yeah. They were really good." He wiped his mouth on the back of his hand.

"I love them. They're my favorite thing my dad makes. He rarely makes them, but when he does, they're always perfect." She set her cup down. "He's gonna wanna talk to us now."

"I know." He peeked at her. "Do you know what to expect?"

"No."

He inhaled. "Well, let's go find out."

Axel had been waiting in the living room with a cup of coffee and some notes he'd made for this speech when the kids came to find him. Carol sat down on the couch, one leg tucked underneath her, and she rested her hands in her lap. Daryl hesitated before he sat beside her, shifting some, blatantly uncomfortable with both Axel and not knowing where he stood. Or, perhaps, assuming where he stood with Axel. It was hard to say, but it was clear he needed to speak to them. He'd made the right choice.

He stood up and faced the two teenagers on the couch. "I'm not good with words. I'm really not. Carol's mom was the talker of the two of us."

"Karen?" Daryl inquired.

"No, my birth mom," Carol explained, gesturing to the photo on the wall of her parents at graduation.

"Oh." He looked at Axel.

"I'm not a fan of your type, Daryl," he admitted. "I think you're an asshole. I think you're a punk and a prick, but I don't know you. These are my assumptions of you, and I know I should get to know you before I judge you, but I don't really want to know you. I strongly dislike you."

He lowered his eyes some but held eye contact.

"You two were stupid. You were drinking and fooling around, and now here we are. You're five months pregnant with a little boy. You're about to take a step no teenager should have to take. You have no diploma, no degrees, no security. You have nothing to stand on. It's just the two of you taking this massive step into adulthood, but you're not adults. You're teenagers. You're children. I don't care how close to eighteen you are, you have teen in there, and you're a child," he said at Daryl who looked annoyed at being called a child.

Carol shrank onto the couch and hugged herself with her arms.

"You're bringing life into the world. He's going to scream. He's going to howl. And it's how he calls to you. When he's hungry, when he's happy, when he's sick. He can't communicate in any other way. He won't know night from day. He won't know that you've been working your ass off at five, six, seven hour shifts. He'll want you to hold him and feed him and be there with him, and you can't just walk away from him. You can't just say fuck it. You two are his entire world, even now. You are Mom and Dad to him, and you always will be. You made the choice to keep him for whatever reasons, and you have to stick to those reasons. There is no going back from this point for either of you."

Daryl bobbed his head slightly, unknowingly, and Carol's hand curled inward to touch her belly.

"You're not parents. You have the title of Mom and Dad, because his sperm fertilized your egg, but you're not parents. You have to earn that title. You have to work and cry and scream and break your damn back for that title. It isn't easy. It'll never really be easy, because you're shaping a life. You're molding this human being and at the same time granting him the space to grow on his own. It's difficult, and it'll just about make you want to pull your damn hair out, but it's worth it." He met Carol's eyes and smiled with such unconditional paternal love. "You'll have a lifelong best friend in the end."

She returned his smile.

"But you have to own it. You have to put yourself second soon. Right now, you have time to focus on yourself, on what you need to get done as a person, but soon it'll be all about him. His needs, his wants. You'll have to live your life around his schedule. There are so many things to learn that books can't teach you. There are so many items you'll need, that he'll need, and it's going to be expensive. It's going to be taxing. You'll cry. You'll hate that you had him. You'll hate that you were stupid. You'll hate that you weren't prepared enough or mentally ready for him. You'll curse and kick and rage, and let me tell you, it doesn't get any easier. The older he gets, the harder it gets, trust me." He inhaled and shook his head. "But it's worth it. You'll always have someone to work harder for, to be a role model for. Someone who'll make you always take the hard path, because the easy isn't who you are. Your son will be the best part of your lives, I guarantee you that.

"So, to conclude this long and probably unhelpful lecture..." He stepped towards them. "You're one your own when it comes to him. I'll do what I can, so will Karen, but it's up to you two. I don't think you're ready, not by a long shot, but there isn't any time to get ready. Sorry, kids, but the real world is catching up awfully quick. I wish I could say sweet things about it, but I have none. It's hard, and it'll only get harder, but I know my daughter. You're strong. You can handle anything. You are so much more than I or your mother could ever dream of being. I'm proud of you, don't ever forget that."

"Dad." Tears filled her eyes.

"I don't know you, Daryl," he remarked, "but I know the look in your eyes. You're scared. Big time. I like that look. It shows you know the gravity of this situation, and that you're sitting here tells me you're in it for the long haul. I respect that. You may not have my friendship, but you have my respect, which is a hell of a lot harder to earn. Don't prove me wrong, Daryl, because it'll be the last thing you do."

It was meant to be a joke, but Daryl lost all color in his face and paled. Carol wiggled beside him and knocked into him, jolting him out of the flashback to his hellish childhood, and Carol hopped up to hug her dad. He tried to lower his pulse as the memories flickered faintly in the back of his mind.

"You're better with words than you think."

"Easy there. Don't want my son gettin' smashed," Daryl joked to try and shaked his past off.

Carol made a face. "The only thing getting smashed is my bladder. If you'll excuse me."

Axel chuckled as she scooted off the bathroom, and he tucked his hands his pockets, looking over at Daryl. "While you have my respect, you don't have my trust," he told him. "She's my daughter, and if you hurt her..."

"What's to hurt? We ain't together."

"You're not stupid. I know there's a brain under all that hair. She is attached to you, because you're the first guy she's kissed and had sex with. She won't be forgetting that anytime soon. Don't break her heart."

Daryl frowned. "I didn't ask for it."

"Then you shouldn't have made any moves."

He heaved a sigh and noticed the time on the clock behind Axel's shoulder. "I gotta get to work."

He nodded. "Do you need a lift?"

"Nah, I got my brother's truck." He headed out without waiting for Carol to come back to say goodbye.

"Okay..." Carol came down the stairs to find only her dad. "Where's Daryl?"

"He had to get to work."

"Oh. I was gonna ask him to... Well, it can wait." She came off the last step. "I think I'll work on my homework."

"You don't want to go out?"

"Not right now."

"If you change your mind, I can drop you off anywhere."

"I think a Saturday day in is what I need." She grasped the knob to her door. "Thanks for the offer, though. Maybe later we can get some ice cream."

"Sounds like a plan, kid."

She smirked and padded down the stairs, collecting her books and backpack, sighing sadly at how Daryl had just left. She knew he had a job, but she was hoping to talk to him some. Honestly, she wanted to get to know him, like Ceasar had suggested, and she didn't have anyone else to hang out with, so why not the father of her baby?

She curled up on the couch and began to scribble out answers on the chapter questions. Maybe next time.

––

"Have a great day, Mrs. Rhee." Caesar smiled widely at the regular. "I hope it's to your liking."

"It always is." She returned his smile. "Thank you."

"It's no problem, and let Glenn know that we could always use another body," he offered. "He can make gift baskets and fill out orders if he doesn't want to get his hands dirty."

"Tempting, but he likes his job deliver pizza. I don't know why."

Caesar knew why. The green-eyed girl who always got cheese stuffed crust pizza to snack on while she studied for her exams. They went to different schools, so it was the only time he could see her. He was friends with Glenn, and he'd gone out with him and a few other guys from the team a couple times, and Mag was there with her friends. She was all Glenn saw. Caesar loved to joke with him. 'Oh, to be young and in love'. Glenn would roll his eyes and hide under his cap. It was frigging funny as shit. Glenn Rhee was a blusher.

"Well, I'll see you next week."

"You have a good day. Don't work too hard."

"I'll try, but if I don't work hard, who will?"

Mrs. Rhee departed from the store, Caesar sighed and went to back to find his soda, cracking it open and drinking deeply. He saw Daryl lifelessly sweeping the floors. They had finished their orders for the day, and their gift baskets were all packed and sent out. Dad was working the truck, so it was just them and their babysitter. Pamela. She was brought on when they were old enough to work the floor, and she was their babysitter. There was no denying it. Daryl mostly ignored her, and while Caesar wasn't fond of the visual proof of his father not trusting him, he did try and treat her kindly. He said hi and bye and occasionally asked how she was. She was boring. That exactly how she was. All day, every day. She came out of the womb boring. Shit.

"You all right there, pretty boy?" Caesar neared him.

"Why do you care?" he growled.

"It was just a question." He held his hands out in a gesture of peace. "I didn't mean anything by it."

"Everybody seems to mean somethin' by it," he ground out. "I ain't a pretty boy either."

"Dude, what's going on with you? You're not usually this hostile. Is everything okay?"

"Why in hell did you take her out?" Daryl barked. "She's carryin' my kid. The fuck you takin' her out for?"

"It was just as friends. I don't think of her as anything other than a friend. I did ask her out and intend to date her, but...she's lost and vulnerable. I couldn't take advantage of her like that. She's under my wing, like a little sister. I won't try and push it to be anything else."

"I don't believe you."

"I wouldn't hurt her like that," Caesar snapped. "Or you. I think of your grouchy ass as a friend. It might be my mistake, but oh fucking well. Carol is a friend. We both aknowledge and accept that fact. Okay?"

"Did you meet her dad?"

"Yeah. Well, sorta. Briefly, but I think he liked me."

"Her dad thinks of me as trash."

"Well, he's wrong."

"I ain't trash!" Daryl blinked when he replayed what Caesar said. "Wait, what did you just say?"

"You're not trash. You might be a little redneck, but we do live in the south, so." He shrugged. "We have humid heat and rednecks. There are worse things to be."

"You don't think I'm like my brother?"

"I've worked with you for years, Daryl, and I've gotten a sense of who you are. It's not trash or Merle. It's a good guy. You're like Carol. You're lost, but maybe...this baby will help you guys be...found." He shrugged a shoulder again. "God works in mysterious ways."

"Don't spout religion at me."

"It's just what I believe."

"You know about Merle?" He nodded. "Then you know about my old man?"

"He's a raging asshole. The town drunk. He must have been a shitty dad before he ditched out on you guys."

Daryl gripped the handle of the broom tighter. Abusive fuck. "I'm gonna be a better dad than him. A million times better. I ain't gonna abandon my kid. I won't do any of that shit. I'll be better than him."

"I know." He smiled a little. "You'll be a great dad, Daryl. I got faith."

"I'll be better," he muttered again. It was his main reason for wanting to keep his son. He wanted to be better than his dad, and he wanted to be a good man. Good men raise their sons, and while he had little examples of good men, he'd do his best. His best was all he could offer, after all, and if it wasn't enough then...then he'd just have to give more.

"Get out of your head. It's a dangerous place to be." Caesar tossed a bottle of soda at Daryl, who caught it with one hand. "I'll help you clean up before you clock out."

Daryl gripped the cold bottle and nodded. "Thanks."

"No problem," Caesar smirked at him, "pretty boy."

"Look, you little shit," Daryl started.

"Boys." Pam was in the next room.

"Next time," Daryl promised.

"You're on." His smirk widened.

––

Carol was finishing up her last chapter question when someone knocked on her door. Hardly anyone actually used the basement door, so she was curious to see who wanted to sneak in and see her. She set her books on the table and hopped up, finding Michonne on the other side of the door with grocery bags and a wide smile.

"Hey, what are you doing here?" She showed her in and closed the door.

"I wanted to check in, see how your none date with Caesar went." She sat down on the bed and began to unload the bag. "I had a good time with Andrea. We went to a late movie, and the theater was practically empty, so we got our pick of seats, and we got scared about twenty times. I refused to go back and watch that movie when there's only two other couples there. I feel like it was marking us, you know? I need some people to throw in between me and that demon."

She giggled. "Please, you'd kick its ass."

"Maybe. Maybe not." Her eyes moved down when Carol uncrossed her arms. "Look who's popping."

"Not really. It's just all the food I've eaten, so it looks bigger."

"How do you know that? You could be popping."

"I hope not. My pants don't fit when I'm this bloated. I don't want to go maturnity clothes shopping. I just want...to hide it for a bit."

"Hide him, you mean?" Michonne balled up the empty bag. "You can't hide him, Carol."

"I know that, but I'd like to try. I won't hurt him by wearing something super tight. I understand that he needs room to grow, but...I feel like I've had no time for me since this bomb was dropped on me. It's all about him. My diet, my morning routine, my vitamins—which, let me tell you, are fucking huge and awful." She blew out a sigh. "I don't want to be selfish, but if I can hide him, I can not think about the fact that he'll be here soon. I'm scared. I'm paralyzed with fear, Mich."

"I know, Carol."

"No, you don't know. You couldn't unless you're in my shoes right now. I'm going to have a baby, and I don't know jack about babies and how to keep them alive. Daryl knows even less. He's reading up on it, but reading only takes you so far. I want to do the right thing for my son, but I'm terrified. That fear makes me want to do the easy thing and just...give him away."

"What?"

"I told Daryl I wanted to raise him, that I wanted our son, and part of me does. Part of me wants to wake up each morning with him and feed him and hold him and love him, but the fear is choking me, Michonne. I don't have any experience with kids. I don't have any knowledge on how to tell if a bottle is heated enough or if the crib is tucked enough so he won't strangle in his sleep. That fear is telling me he'd be better off with adult parents, not two stupid teenagers who made a mistake. I mean, seriously how am I going to do this? I should just let...someone else do this."

"Don't be such a baby," Michonne snapped. "You have backbone in there. I know you do, so show it now. This is your child. Your responsibility. You lied in that bed and made him, so you'll raise him. It might not be easier, but your situation is more ideal than most."

"Ideal? How?"

"Your parents aren't going to throw you out on the street. The father is willing to help you out. You're not sick. You're physically strong and intelligent. You'll find a job to support your child. You'll go to college and give him a great future along with yourself." She huffed. "You're not this whiny, so cut it out. Fear can be controlled. Stop letting it control you. I understand you're worried, but I'm here. I have a baby brother—an actual baby brother—and I will help you. Karen will help you. Axel as well. You aren't alone. You'll learn as you raise him, and you'll learn through your parents and friends. It's not all on you, Carol, okay? He will have so much family he won't know what to do with us all. We'll help you."

"How can I ask that of you guys?"

"You don't have to." She smiled at her. "You kept me company so many nights when I had to babysit Andre for my parents, and you talked to him through the phone and cheered him up too many times to count. That's how I know you'll be a great mom. Andre adores you, so your son will adore you even more."

She smiled. "Thank you."

"Don't thank me, just help me eat these snacks. I'm starving."

She climbed onto the bed and opened a pack of cookies, peering at Michonne. "I didn't agree to keep him for me," she confessed.

"What do you mean?" Michonne opened a bottle of water.

"I said I'd raise him and keep him, because I thought it's what my mom would want. She'd want her first grandchild to be with his family. She had me young too—not quite so young—but she still kept me. She put her dreams aside for me. I didn't want to disgrace her by giving my son up for adoption. I didn't want her to hate me, to regret giving birth to me."

"She could never."

"I hardly remember her, Michonne. She could, for all I know."

"No, she couldn't. I know my mom, and I know how much my mom loves me. Your mom loved you just as much. She couldn't hate you or regret you." She grasped her hand. "You need to let her rest, Carol. This is about you, your son and Daryl. Your mom and dad have no place in that. They're your family, but...you have a new family now. You have to make decisions for this new family." She moved their overlapped over Carol's belly.

"I don't know where to start."

"Well, that's when you ask your other family." She smirked. "We start with cookies. Lots of cookies."

She laughed with tears in her eyes. "And then what?"

"We start trying to find you a job."

She nodded. "I haven't heard back from the first few I put in."

"Then we'll just have to fill out more. I have my tablet, so I can use it while you use your laptop. We'll find you a job, and I'll help you baby proof the place and make room for my nephew." She lightly patted Carol's stomach. "I've got your mama's back, don't worry. Aunt Michonne is on it."

She rolled her eyes, trying to hide her tears. "You're a dork."

"I might be, but how do you feel about being a cashier?" She whipped out her tablet.

"I haven't even had a cookie yet."

"Then chew and answer me."

"Yes, ma'am."

They spent the next few hours filling out job applications and munching on snacks. Carol was thrilled to have such a great best friend. She felt normal again just hanging out with Michonne. She had missed the laughter and the stupid jokes. They were just two teenagers looking for a job, and it was great. She couldn't forget the little bundle of joy growing inside of her, but she could focus on something else. She hoped she heard back from one of these jobs. She would love to take Caesar up on his suggestion of working at Hershel's clinic, but she had considered all the downsides of being pregnant and being around all those animals. She'd have to wait a bit, just to be safe.

It was about six when Michonne cursed to herself.

"What?" Carol gave an electronic signature and send in another application.

"I have a date." She rolled off the couch. "Well, a double date, and I'm going to be late if I don't leave now."

"Oh. Who are you going out with?"

"Lori and Rick." She closed her tablet and threw away her trash. "We're meeting them for dinner, and we're gonna just hang out afterward. Probably stop by the lake one more time."

"Sounds like fun." Carol couldn't smile like she'd wanted, her chest was aching.

Michonne paused and instantly felt guilty. "It won't be. I mean, we'll probably catch colds."

"Probably." She couldn't look at her friend.

Michonne frowned. "You could come with us."

"No, I couldn't." She stood up. "If I could, Lori would have invited me."

"I'm sure she was just thinking about the baby. It'll be so cold out by the lake. She wouldn't want you to get sick. Who knows what that might do to the baby."

"Right." She hugged herself protectively. "You ought to get going. You don't want to be late."

"Carol..."

"Say hi to everyone for me." She headed into the bathroom and closed the door, pressing her back against it, squeezing her eyes shut. She listened to Michonne sigh and linger for about five minutes before saying goodbye and leaving. She sank down onto the floor and tried not to cry. She knew she would miss out on things, being pregnant and all, but she never thought she'd miss out with her own friends. Her own sister.

They would have an awesome time at the lake. They always did. They would light a fight in the fall and set off sparklers. They would sit and tell spooky stories and snuggle for warmth. They would hang out until it was almost eleven then all pile into Michonne's car and head home. They would tease each other and make memories and get to know Rick a little better than Carol. They would...fill in the whole Carol's pregnancy made. They were all coupled up, and she was the odd pregnant one out. She wasn't surprised this had happened, simply agonized that it had happened so quick.

She wiped her nose with tissue and decided not to pout. She wasn't going to cry over this. They weren't replacing her. Rick couldn't replace her. He was just the double date guy. She was the best friend since grade school girl. He couldn't replace her. So she wasn't going to cry about it. Damned pregnancy hormones. She wasn't going to bawl over her friends hanging out without her. It was a double date. It'd probably be awkward. God, she hoped it was awkward.

No, that was just being childish. They should have a great time. They should bond with Rick and each other. They deserved that. And besides she had a friend she could call too, one they didn't get to hang out with.

She exited the bathroom and found her cell phone, calling Caesar.

"Thank you for calling Martinez Meats, how can I help you?"

"Ummm?"

"Sorry, sorry. I've been on the phone since four. It's my greeting." He cleared his throat. "How are you?"

"I'm okay. I was actually calling to see if you wanted to hang out, but it sounds like you're still at work."

"I am. I'm off the clock, but we have a crap ton of phone calls coming in, and Dad's in the middle of dealing with asshole delivery guys. I'm covering for him."

"Oh, that sucks."

"Yeah, but at least I can put my feet up while I lose my mind over answering the same questions."

"I doubt I could keep you company during."

"Dad's in work mode. No none employees in the back right now, especially pregnant none employees. The meat might make you sick. It made my mom sick when she was pregnant with me, so he's wary of pregnant women in the back."

"Fair enough."

"I'm free tomorrow, though, if you still want to hang out."

"Yeah, that'd be great."

"I'll bring you some steaks. I won't even charge you."

She chuckled. "Okay. How about at one?"

"I'll see you at one with my steaks."

"Bye."

"Wait, why don't you call Daryl?" He clicked the end of his pen to make a note. "He got off at four. You two could hang out, get to know each other."

"I don't know about that."

"For the kid's sake."

She heaved a sigh. "I guess it couldn't hurt."

"Maybe he could join us for steaks."

"Okay, that could hurt."

"Fine, fine." He chuckled. "Just give him a call. Vato pretty much just sits at home all day. Or he hunts."

"He hunts?"

"Father of your child, and I know more about him."

"You've worked with you for years!"

"Trust me, some days it's like I just met the guy yesterday. Getting him to talk is like trying to put out a forest fire with a bucket. It ain't easy, and it's a lot of prying, so make sure you bring a crowbar."

"Maybe I should just stay home."

"Do it for the kid. It can only help in the end."

"I'll see you tomorrow, Caesar."

"All right. Tomorrow."

"Goodbye." She then whispered, "Thank you."

"You're welcome. Call him. Bye."

She shimmed into leggings, a skirt and a sweater. She wasn't going to wrestle with her pants today, so she hoped the layers kept her from freezing. It wasn't like Daryl would be hunting right now. They'd probably go inside his house. She wouldn't freeze outside.

She dialed his number and headed up the stairs. "Hey, Daryl?"

"Does your mom want to talk to me now?"

"What? No, no, this isn't about the parents. I just wanted to hang out with you today. Is that a problem? Are you busy?"

"No." He inhaled. "Where do you want to go?"

"I thought I'd come over. I've never seen your house before, and I should probably get a feel of it if the baby will be over there from time to time."

He tensed. "You wanna come over here?"

"Yeah."

"Umm, it ain't clean right now."

"I can handle a few pairs of boxers and dirty dishes. I just want to check it out."

He gulped. "Do you even know where I live?"

"No, actually, I don't. I was hoping you'd tell me the address so I could GPS it. Dad's home, so he can give me a ride."

Fuck. Carol and Axel? No, he couldn't let them see the trailer. It was a pit. Merle was fucking some streetwalker or something in his bedroom, and the house was trashed. He couldn't invite them over. There was no way she'd ever let him keep his son overnight here. Hell, he didn't want his son over here period. Shit, he had to get out of this.

"Um, I'll pick you up," he hastily blurted. "I'll come and bring you over."

"Aww, thanks."

"Gimme, like, ten minutes, okay?"

"Okay. I'll see you soon." She smiled. "Thanks, Daryl. Really."

"Yeah, no problem." He hung up on her.

"What's going on?" Axel came downstairs, removing his glasses and adjusting his work issued tablet so he could review this case better. "You look nice."

"Thanks. Daryl's coming to get me." She shoved her phone into her jacket pocket. "I'm going to inspect his house, see if it's okay for the baby to stay over there some nights."

He didn't like a single word that just came out of her mouth. "Oh?"

"Yeah. Everyone else is busy, so I might as well do this and possibly hang out with Daryl. He and I are kinda stuck together now. We might as well make it as less antagonistic as we can before our son is here." Honestly, she just didn't want to be alone tonight, and Caesar was right. For her son's sake, she had to try.

"How long will you be gone?"

"A couple hours, at least."

"Where are you going after you inspect his house?"

"We'll likely stay there. It's getting colder around this time of day, and I'm going to stay near warmth. My pants aren't fitting today, and this skirt is all I could fit into. Shorts and leggings don't work on me."

He nodded. "Okay." He didn't like this. He really didn't like this. "Let me know how it works out. If you need to me come get you, just call or text."

"I will." She didn't trust how calm he was being about this, but she was grateful he didn't fight her. She wasn't in the mood to fight. She was lonely, to be honest, and she had to focus on anything else as to not focus on the fear of losing her friends.

"And if you get uncomfortable," Axel added, "let me know, okay? Just...say pineapples, and I'll be over there in a flash."

She smiled. "Thanks, Dad."

Twenty minutes later, Daryl was waiting on the front porch. Axel reminded her of pineapples, causing Daryl to eye them curiously, and Carol waved as she walked out. Daryl opened the door for her, she was a little surprised, but smiled and thanked him. He saw Axel watching from the front window, and he made a line from his shoulder to his hip. Daryl was confused until he heard the seat belt buckle from beside him. He nodded to him and walked to the driver's side, buckling himself in, and he pulled out.

Carol glanced at him as he drove, and she was worried about how tight he was gripping the wheel. "Is everything okay?"

"Yeah, just...first time I've had you in my truck." He cleared his throat. "You and the kid."

"You're driving just fine. You can relax."

"Yeah?"

She chuckled. "Yeah."

He loosened his grip and cleared his throat. "So...you cravin' pineapples? Or does your dad just like 'em?"

"Both." She averted her eyes.

"Do you wanna get some?"

"Not right now. I had some with Michonne."

He nodded. "So...uh, about coming over to my place..."

"You don't want me to see it," she guessed. "It's your personal space, and you don't want me there."

"No, that ain't it."

"Then what is it?" Her eyes sliced to his.

"I just wanna take you somewhere else," he confessed. "'Cause we gotta talk, and I don't want my nosy ass brother to interrupt us."

"Talk about what?"

"A lot of shit," he huffed. "We have a lot to talk about. Don't act like we don't."

"I'm not acting. I just...didn't think you wanted to talk about them with me."

"You're havin' my first son," he remarked. "Why wouldn't I want to talk to you about all the issues I'm havin'?"

"I don't know. You just don't seem like the talkative type. You don't seem to even like me most days. You're only being nice now because I'm carrying your child."

"You really think that?" He glanced at her. "That I'm only bein' nice 'cause of our son?"

"Well, a little," she admitted.

"I was nice to you before I knew you were pregnant."

"Helping me to the nurse's office was more like helping Michonne. I was out of it." She shifted in her seat. "And you were mean the rest of the time. You only wanted your jacket back."

"I was mean, because you were avoiding me and treating me like a criminal, like I'd done something awful." He rounded off his words to ensure his point went across. "You attacked me with looks, so I did the same. Only I don't play that way, and I confronted you. I only gave what I got."

She lowered her eyes and didn't speak. He drove in silence, and she kept her gaze out the window. She was trying to think of how to apologize, but it felt like too much time had passed. It would be a pitiful apology, and he wouldn't accept it. Her lips still parted as choked words tried to escape, but she had no luck. She felt pathetic and turned away from him physically, wanting the seat to swallow her whole.

The truck came to a halt, Daryl undid his seat belt and slipped out.

"Where are you going?" Her head snapped up.

"C'mon."

She frowned somewhat but followed suit. "Where are we?"

"I come here to be alone." He stuffed his hands into his coat pockets. "My brother's loud and obnoxious, and I can't focus on school work at home, as you know."

"The closet," she nodded, minding her footing.

"And when I get my work done, he sometimes has company, so I walk or drive out here. It's quiet, and nobody comes up here. It ain't ideal for campin' due to uneven ground. You can't set up a tent, and the trees ain't strong enough for a hammock. Hikers get lost real easy up through here, so it ain't good for that neither."

"People avoid it, because they can't work their way through it or use it," she stated then smiled. "Kinda like you."

"What do you mean?" He glanced at her.

"People avoid you, because they don't understand you or your thinking. You glare all the time, so you don't look approachable. And you won't let yourself be used. You won't date Paula or...screw her, like she wants, so...she sometimes avoids you. Not all the time, sadly. She's persistent."

"My standards aren't low enough for me to ever say yes to her."

Her smile widened. "So...you have high standards for girls you get with?"

He frowned. "Get with?"

"What? I've never heard that you have or ever had a girlfriend, and from our little meeting, it's not hard to tell why."

"I don't date, and I don't sleep around anymore. It was a slip up, and it won't happen again."

She had to repress the urge to grin like a happy idiot. "Okay."

He didn't understand why she was smiling, so he pointed out somewhere they could sit, and Carol went pale. It was over a cliff. He'd sat here many, many times, and it was perfectly safe. He wanted her to stay away from the edge, which, from her reaction, they both agreed on, and they got settled. He opted to mirror her and sit with his back against a tree, and he never noticed how close growing these trees were until their knees met. It wasn't his usual spot, but it was close, and he'd seen her slide on the mud. He didn't want her to get hurt, so close was both close...and cramped. Oh, well, he'd been closer to her. Obviously.

Carol set her hands on her stomach, her knees upraised, and she looked over the scenery. "It's nice out here. A little cold, but nice."

"Are you cold?" He'd noted when he picked her up she'd chosen to wear a skirt. Insane, but okay.

"My legs. Obviously." She inhaled. "My pants aren't fitting well, but this skirt has some stretch to it."

"I got a blanket in the truck. Hang on." He hopped up and was gone before she could say it was no big deal.

When he came back, a sun-faded orange and red plaid blanket was thrown over her legs and his, and he settled back into his spot. She thanked him and was glad their combined body heat was warming the blanket. It would be toasty and perfect in a minute. Hmm.

"I'm sorry." She met his eyes after a moment of silence.

"You're sorry? Why?"

"I was so rude to you, and it wasn't entirely your fault. I shouldn't have hit you, or said what I did. Treated you how I did. You deserved better, and I'm sorry."

"I'm sorry too. I shouldn't have been...such an asshole."

"No, you shouldn't have, especially since it didn't fit who you are."

"What makes you say that?"

"I don't know. I just have a feeling you were trying to fit into shoes that aren't yours. You're not an asshole, and if you decide that you are or that you want to be, I won't let you around our son, okay? I don't want him around people like that. I don't want him raised with someone like that. It may seem cruel, but that's just my opinion, and you won't be able to change it. I want our son to be a gentleman, and I want him to know respect and loyalty and kindness. I know you can teach him all of those things."

"I can try."

"You'll teach by example. I have no worry about it." She hugged her arms. "I do worry about his living situation."

"He'll be with you," Daryl remarked. "Maybe on the weekends, if you want, I can take him."

"So you get whole days and nights with him?"

"Well, we can't have him at my place for a week then yours. He won't adjust. It's too much change."

She huffed.

"It sucks either way, but you're gonna breastfeed him, right? Won't it make sense he stays with you?"

"I haven't decided on breastfeeding or not. I mean, my mom didn't breastfeed me, but she was on meds. They would have hurt me."

"I've read that breastfeedin' best, if it works for you."

"What haven't you read?" she jested.

"Why you're goin' out with Casear," he replied. "I don't get that."

"We're not "going out", for starters. We went to the game and to eat as friends. I don't want to date anyone pregnant. I come to realize that that night." She met his eyes. "I like Caesar. He's a great guy, and I know he'd be an awesome boyfriend, but I don't want a boyfriend. I thought I did. I thought I wanted to go out on dates and fall in love, but I know it'll happen when it happens. Right now I just want to get this school year and through labor and childbirth. Right now...I just want to survive motherhood.

"A boyfriend is probably great, but high school boyfriends don't last. Being a mom? Having a child? That's forever, if I'm lucky. I want to spend time preparing for our son. I want to find a job, so I can buy all the crap I need for our son. I want to be ready. That's where I am now. After talking to Michonne, being a mom is sole focus outside of school. Boys can wait." She drew in a breath, hoping to gather courage from the air itself. "And I hope that means girls can wait too."

He blinked. "What?"

"I don't want you to date either. I know it seems crazy and selfish, but I don't want my son around other women and his dad. I want him to know who his mom is and not be confused. I know you wouldn't put him in danger, but I want to be sure some nut doesn't try and hurt him, because she's so in love with you or something."

"The hell kind of women do you think I attract?"

"I don't know. It's worse case, okay?"

"Clearly. I don't date, just told you that. School is my main focus right now. I got plans. Havin' a son doesn't change those plans. I want...to set a good example for him. I want to do my best for him. I can't do that if my attention is divided."

"But you came to me," she reminded him. "You slept with me, and that's how your son even happened."

"That was..." He grunted. "Well, I liked you then, and I don't like anybody now."

"But you could."

"I don't," he retorted.

"I just said you could. You haven't met all the women in the world, Daryl. You could fall in love with someone tomorrow or next week for all we know."

"I won't."

She rolled her eyes. "You know what? Forget I mentioned this. Let's just move on."

"Fine by me."

The wind blew at them, Carol shuddered, and Daryl had hair blown into his face. He let it stay where it fell, and he looked out at the view silently. Carol pulled her legs in closer but then lowered them when she thought it might hurt the baby. She didn't know if it would, but pressing her legs to her chest didn't seem like a good idea as bloated as she was right now. She'd have to look into that. She did it quiet a lot. It would be a hard habit to break, but she would have to break it. For her belly and its guest's sake.

"We need to like each other better," Carol told him. "Know each other better, be kinder to each other. If we want to be good parents, we need to stop being such kids."

"Well, we are kids."

"I know, but not once our son is here. We have to be parents, like what my dad said. He comes first, and we need to grow up."

"You're the one who's two years from adulthood."

"Age doesn't equal maturity."

That explained Merle. "That's true."

"So, we'll do better, be better?"

"Yeah." He nodded. "And we'll get to know each other better, like you said."

She smiled. "Yeah, definitely. I want to know more about you."

 _There were some things you don't want to know_ , he thought to himself. And he was scared if she knew them, she might not let him near his son.

"Wanna start tomorrow? I'm free now that I've gotten my homework done."

He smirked. "Sure. I'll come by tomorrow. We can...do lunch or somethin'."

She giggled at his tone. "Okay."

They sat there for a while, listening to nothing but the sounds of nature, and they enjoyed the view and the peace. They spoke softly about school and what'd they do tomorrow, but nothing too in depth. This was the end of the serious conversation, and all there was left to do was head home, especially since it was getting colder, and Carol kept shivering. He didn't want her to get sick, so it was time to pile into the truck and look for food. She had to be hungry by now, and he wanted to kill time before he went home.

"Oh, no." Carol saw mud caked onto her shoes. "We got mud all over your blanket."

"It's clay," he corrected. "And it's no big deal. It washes out. Mostly. I've gotten it on pretty much everything I own. It's okay."

"Still." She scraped it off as best she could with a stick, but red clay stained her tennis shoes, flattened now into the bumps on the bottoms of her shoe.

"Next time I'll give you a piggy back ride through here," he joked.

"What am I, your little sister?"

"Well, we do live in the South." He pointed to her stomach. "Who knows?"

"You're gross." She shoved him, and he chuckled. "So gross." But she was laughing.

"C'mon, you can buy me lunch."

"I didn't bring my wallet with me." She grew very serious. "I didn't...think we'd get food. Crap."

"You're growin' my kid, the least I can do right now is feed you. Feedin' you is feedin' him, I gotta do that later on, so I might as well get into the habit."

She smiled softly. "Thank you."

He held his hand out to her. "Thank me by not fallin' on your ass."

"You're a jerk." She accepted his hand nevertheless.

"This jerk has better balance than you."

"I didn't expect to be walking in mud, thank you very much."

"Can still piggy back ride back to the car."

"I'm good. This is fine." She nearly slid again and grasped his arm with her other hand. "Whoa."

"I got you," he assured her. "Don't worry about that."

"Yeah." She saw another patch of clay and avoided it, her eyes moving and catching Daryl's face. She studied him for a moment then tightened her grip on his hand. He assured her once more he had her, and her heart fluttered at how gentle and sweet his tone was. She nodded and let him guide her back to the truck. It wasn't the first time she followed his lead, after all, and perhaps it wasn't the last time either.


	9. Truth, Bitterness and Happiness

_**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**_

– – –

"So, what are you doing for Halloween?" Andrea sat on Carol's couch, working on her homework.

"Five months pregnant," Michonne mused from the floor where she was using the coffee table as a desk and the couch to prop her back on.

"Ha ha." Carol rolled her eyes at her friends. "I don't even know that I want to be anything for Halloween."

"But we've always dressed up for Halloween," Lori stated from the actual desk. "I mean, it's our thing. Well, one of our things, but we always do it."

"Seeing how I'm waiting on Mom to finish grading papers so we can go buy me new clothes since the baby decided to officially move in and boot out my entire wardrobe, I don't think things are quite the same as last year."

"The baby doesn't have to change that much," Andrea told her.

"But he will, and we need to accept that. Look, just make plans without me. If I come, I'll find where I fit. If I don't...well, you won't be disappointed if I bail."

"Maybe you'll find something at that clothes shop," Lori pointed out. "They could have Halloween costumes."

"Yeah, in the sixteen and pregnant section."

"It was just a thought."

"I appreciate the thought, but...it's time we... _I_ face reality. I don't have a lot of time for teenage stuff. I mean, I have to plan a baby shower, and I have to baby proof my room. I have to...do so much, and it's not stuff you're gonna wanna do."

"Are you kidding me?" Andrea dropped her pen. "I would _love_ to plan a baby shower with Karen."

"I'd love to go shopping for baby clothes with you," Michonne added. "I love baby stuff. It's so precious and tiny."

"And I can baby proof your room with you." Lori turned in her chair. "I know this room like the back of my hand, so I am all over what needs to be done."

Carol smiled. "You mean it? It won't...bore you?"

"Please, we sit through eight hours of boring hell," Michonne stated. "If we get bored, we can take it."

"But we won't. We're shopping for our nephew." Andrea grinned. "It's gonna be awesome."

"I have an excuse to use my summer savings." Lori stood up. "He's gonna have an extensive wardrobe. He'll grow super fast, like Andre, so we need to be prepared. This homework can wait. I need to figure his first outfit out."

"Carol," Karen called from the top of the steps, "you ready?"

"Yeah!" She slid off the bed. "I'll pick his first outfit, but go crazy on the rest."

"Already there." She chewed on the wood of her pencil.

Carol stopped at the first step, watching her friends work to be involved with this massive change in her life, and she smiled. "Thanks, you guys."

"I'm sorry. Did she thank us?" Lori gestured vaguely at Carol with her pencil. "A thank you like we weren't going to do this the entire time? Like it wasn't expected of us? Did we just shock her?"

Andrea nodded. "She really did." Then to Carol, looking utterly insulted. "How dare you."

She rolled her eyes at them. "You know what I mean."

"Hey now, shoo." Michonne hopped up and gently bumped her shoulder. "We have a baby shower to plan. It's a surprise shower now. And it gets awkward when the teasing gets explained."

She laughed. "Okay, just don't make me go into early labor. I...want to prolong that until the last minute."

"I can imagine why. My mom bent those metal bars on the bed when she was in labor."

Carol's eyes widened. "It hurt that much?"

"Umm...no?" She cast a look at Andrea, who buried her face in her phone and planning. Some girlfriend!

"I—I have to go. Mom's waiting." She hurried up the stairs to not think about that.

"Put your coat on, please." Karen was zipping hers up.

"You mean Dad's coat?" Carol pulled it off the rack and shrugged into it. "My coat doesn't fit anymore. Nothing of mine fits anymore." It came out as a pout.

"You couldn't keep that slim figure forever, especially not five months pregnant." She adjusted the hood on her daughter's coat. "We'll buy you a new one today."

"Can't you just sew those elastic bands into my jeans?"

"Have you seen me trying to sew?" Karen smirked. "I'm the reason your father fears needles. I sewed him to the bed by accident. Don't even ask me how. I have no clue."

"Impressive."

"He was stuck for seven hours. I'd gotten him sewn down to the mattress in some parts. I was just trying to fix my favorite blanket, and I nearly killed him."

"Okay, less impressive and more scary."

"So, I'll just buy you clothes now and donate them later."

She nodded and followed her Mom out the door, glancing back at her bedroom door, thinking about labor and bitting her bottom lip.

Down in her room, the girls were working on her baby shower and planning their purchases for the newest edition to their little family, and Michonne lowered her eyes to the floor and blew out a sigh. It was unnoticed due to the excitement of planning a baby shower and showing support for Carol in this extreme time of need.

Michonne blew out another sigh, only this was coupled with a confession. "I keep messing up."

"What do you mean?" Lori paused in searching for stores that carried baby clothes and looked at her friend.

"Well, I mean I only seem to make things worse." She plopped down onto the couch. "I keep trying the tough love approach."

"Oh, no."

"Yeah." She slouched onto the couch.

"Your tough love approach sucks." Andrea pulled her legs into give her more room. "You should know that by now. It made her cry last year."

"I thought I was getting better."

"What'd you tell her?" Lori was curious.

"That she should keep the baby, that her situation was more ideal than most. Something like that."

"Guilt trip. Nice." Lori crossed her legs. "Did she cry?"

"No. I finished strong. I gave her food."

"Yeah, food always helps a pregnant woman."

"I wanted to apologize, but I don't know how."

"You know Carol. She's already over it, just make it up to her in a more...gentle way. Like with the baby shower and Halloween. We'll make her feel included, because this group is the four of us. It always will be, even when it's the six of us."

"Six?" Lori's nose wrinkled. "She's not having twins."

"Please, like Daryl won't be attached to her and their son's ass. It'll be the six of us, and it'll be tough, but change happens. It just doesn't have to tear us apart."

"But it might." Michonne leaned forward. "Carol and Daryl will be together a lot. Like Lori and Rick. They won't be able to hang out with us all the time. Their son will get sick. Babies have, like, no immune system, and he'll get sick and need both of them. Or something else will happen that'll keep one or both of them with their son. It's inevitable. This boy will come before us."

Andrea averted her eyes. "I know."

"So, let's make the most of our time," Lori spoke up. "The baby shower, Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years. We'll make the most of it. It'll be our goodbye to the four of us and...a hello to the six."

Andrea smiled a little. "Yeah, that'd be great."

"So, finger foods?" Lori placed the notepad on her lap. "Or pizza?"

"For a baby shower?" Michonne rolled her eyes. "It'll be classier than pizza."

"Hey, pizza is great for all occausions."

"How about a funeral?"

"Throw some blue cheese on it."

She laughed. "That's gross."

She smiled. "Made you laugh, though."

"Let's just get back to planning, please."

––

"This is cute." Karen held out a blouse.

"Yeah, in the 70's maybe." Carol frowned at the ruffle design and flow-y hem. "Isn't there anything more teenage...ish?" She held up a blue and black dress with a weird bacteria-looking design.

"I had curtains like that when I was in college. I tried to catch them on fire a few times."

She sighed and hung it back up. "I get that teenage pregnancy isn't a yay, but what woman wants to wear this stuff?"

"Here." Karen pulled out a gray and white stripped hoodie. "This is actually cute."

"Yeah, I like it."

"It's stretchy too, so if you grow any more, it'll conform to your belly." She held onto it. "Do you like pink?"

"As long as it's not Grandma style, sure." She stuffed her hands into her jacket pockets. "I'm gonna go sit down."

"I'll bring you a few options, okay?"

"Thanks." She found a bench by the window and sat down, stretching her legs and resting her hands on her protruding belly. She leaned back against the glass and sighed softly. She didn't know shopping for clothes could be so depressing.

"Hey."

She turned to find Caesar walking over to her, and she pulled out a smile. "Hey. What are you doing here?"

"My dad's shop is down this strip." He pointed his thumb behind him. "I was coming to pick up some peppers and onions from the shop two stores over for our annual Halloween party. I saw you through the glass. You looked down, so I thought I'd stop in."

"I'm okay."

"Lair." He sat beside her. "What's wrong?"

"I'm just...depressed. I mean, Mom has to spend so much on my new clothes just for me to...under grow them in a few months, and her salary isn't exactly amazing." She knew her dad's was better—a lot better—but still. They had bills to pay, and they were pretty much wasting their money on these clothes. Honestly, she wouldn't need them in four more months, but she needed them enough within those four months that she had to have them. "I feel...like I'm just eating her money and spitting it out into a volcano."

"That's ridiculous."

"How is it not?"

"She loves you, Carol. She loves her grandchild. She's doing this for both of you, and so what if you think it's a waste? It's not. You need the clothes. Your baby needs the room to grow. It's a necessity. It can't be a waste that way."

"I suppose."

"I suppose," he aped her in a dopy voice. "It's the truth, and you know it."

She smiled a little. "Okay, fine."

"Look, if you just stick it out long enough, I'll buy you something sweet."

"Ice cream?"

"Maybe."

"Fine, but you still owe me for bailing on our last plans."

"Okay, it was a business emergency."

"I know, but I really wanted that steak." She stood up and smoothed her shirt down. "I guess I should take part in my wardrobe for the rest of this year."

"Good. I'll catch you later for some double scoops."

She found her mom looking over a cute dark pink top, and she smiled. "It's cute. I love it."

Karen blinked and looked over. "You do?"

"Yeah, is it my size?" She checked the tag.

"Yeah." She smiled a little. "Do you want to try it on?"

"In a bit. Let's find a couple more."

Her smile grew. "Okay."

They found a few more outfits that fit perfectly and some that allowed room to grow. Carol stopped worrying about her mom's wallet and just started to enjoy being out with her mom, and it was great. She noticed how different her mom was. She looked...good. She always looked beautiful naturally, but she'd done her makeup and was wearing cute clothes. She looked really nice. She never noticed her mom's cheekbones, and how lovely lipstick made her smile. She was quite the looker. Carol was impressed. She'd never seen her mom look like this. She wondered what had happened.

"Hey. Do you want to get something to snack on?" Karen was paying for the clothes while Carol slipped into the gray and green color block hoodie that fit her better than her dad's coat, plus it was fuzzy and warm inside to fend off the cold.

"If that means stopping by the creamery next door, I am all for it." Karen laughed. "A chocolate-dipped cone sounds like heaven. Seriously."

"All right." She thanked the cashier and handed some bags to her. "Let's go get that cone."

They crossed the street with bags in tow, Carol spotted Caesar at the counter, and Karen did too. She glanced at Carol, who was smirking at the sight of the boy, and she offered to get the ice cream while Carol found them somewhere to sit. It wasn't hard as it wasn't the middle of summer and people were screaming for ice cream, but still.

"I'll get the ice cream." Carol was already handing the bags over to her mom. "I'll be right back."

Karen didn't even have time to blink before Carol was gone.

"Nice hoodie." Caesar tugged on the thick string that tightened the hood. "Little dude's gonna stretch it out nice."

"Weirdo." She rolled her eyes at him. "And thanks. It's comfortable."

"Roomy, too." He poked lightly at the flap hanging over her belly that she hadn't grown into just yet. "You look good."

She smiled widely.

"Let me guess. Weird pregnancy craving. What, pickles or gummy bears?"

"Neither." She turned her smile to the employee before them. "Two chocolate dipped cones. One with peanut butter ice cream with chocolate sprinkles, and one with cookies 'n cream with...jelly beans."

"That's gross." Caesar chuckled. "Put it on my tab."

"What? No." Carol protested. "Don't."

Caesar nodded to the employee, Jan. "We'll take the window seat." He grasped Carol's arm lightly and escorted her towards it since Karen hadn't found a place yet.

"Caesar, seriously, you can't pay for our stuff." Carol turned to face him. "I have money, so does my mom."

"Yeah, I have money too. My dad has boat loads." He smirked. "It doesn't mean I can't buy you ice cream. I mean, wasn't I going to anyway?"

"I wasn't serious."

"Well, I was."

"What's going on?" Karen approached the teenagers.

"I found seats." Carol pointed to the table behind her. "And a friend."

"I see." She smiled to greet him. "Hi."

"Hello, Mrs. Callies." He returned the smile. "I didn't mean to interrupt your girls day, but I work just down the street, and I wanted a milkshake. You really oughta try them."

"I have," she replied. "They're really good."

"They're my drug. I've had such a busy, crazy day, and if I don't either hit the gym or have a milkshake, I'll snap all the pencils in my dad's office. I'd go bigger, but I don't like to be wasteful or damage property." He chuckled awkwardly.

"That's good to know." Karen looked over her shoulder. "Order's done. I'll be back."

"I'm intruding," Caesar stated when she walked off. "I'm gonna go."

"Okay." She giggled. "I'll see you at school."

"Oh." He patted his pockets and pulled out a slip of paper. "For you."

"What's this?" She accepted it and saw it was an invitation to a Halloween party.

"Every year, my dad hosts this blowout Halloween party," he explained. "It's our favorite holiday. We go all out. I'm talkin' smoke machine, buffet table, a killer dj, spider webs and organs all over the place. It's awesome. You have to come."

"A Halloween party?"

"Yeah, your parents can come too. The entire house is divided: teens and adults. We have sodas, water, a million types of mixed drinks that are zero percent booze. We actually have a mixologist."

"A what?"

"They make drinks. It's the term for them." He shrugged. "And the snacks are obviously mostly meat with a couple veggie platters and cracker and cheese plates tossed in. And your parents have a grown up version of ur party with booze and snacks and music. But the pool is up for grabs. Adult, teen—if you want it, just go for it."

"That's...awesome."

"And we have drivers, if they hit the bar too hard. It happens, and we really want people to be safe and have fun, so we've got it covered." He smiled. "You gotta come. Daryl's even coming, finally. After years of trying to convince him, he's finally getting his ass out there. He won't dress up, but I'll take what I can get."

"I just might come."

"And it's not like the last party y'all went to. You're already pregnant, and upstairs is off limits."

She tightened her grip on the invitation. "Yeah, there's that too."

"Just think about it. I have to get back to work, but let me know." He swiped his order off the counter and thanked Jan, waving to Carol and Karen on his way out.

"You all right?" Karen noted the paleness on her daughter's face.

"Yeah, just...a sugar drop." She accepted the cone, crumpling the paper even more, and she sat down.

Karen set the bags under the table and studied her daughter. "Is there anything wrong?"

"No." She plucked a temperature-harden jelly bean off her cone and ate it.

"Just...tell me to stop if I'm wrong, because I could be very wrong in saying this." Karen exhaled, and Carol prepared herself. "It's...not wrong to have feelings towards Caesar, but given your current situation, it's not...ideal. Or anything your father and I would approve of. Uh, you dating while pregnant, not..." She failed to end the sentence.

"Nobody approves of their sixteen-year-old being pregnant, and you don't need to worry. I'm not...interested in him like that. I'm not interested in anybody. I just...want to survive this pregnancy and labor. I'm...scared to the point of blocking it from my mind. I don't know that I can handle it, and being with Caesar makes me forget. Being with my friends helps me forget. It's not an impending bomb coming at me. It's...far away, like over in Europe." She lowered her eyes. "I don't have anybody to talk to about it."

"You can talk to me about it."

"Not really. You've never been pregnant." Carol bit her bottom lip. "All you can do is reassure me. I need more than that."

Karen swallowed. "Carol, I think you're overthinking this."

"Yeah, sure." She rolled her eyes and shook her head.

"I know you don't want to hear it from me, but you overthink a lot of things. This is one of them. You have plenty of time until you give birth, and as someone who's seen the labor process—"

"You have nothing to offer," Carol finished, "save for bring me ice chips and holding my hand through contractions."

Karen looked at her, stunned.

Carol felt guilty instantly. "I—I didn't mean—"

"Don't backtrack now. That's how you honestly feel. All right..." She stood up. "I'll be back."

"Mom—"

Karen waved a hand behind her that Carol had seen a lot growing up. It meant one of two things: _stay_ _there_ or _just don't._ It meant _just don't_ in this situation.

Carol sank back into her seat and felt like smashing the ice cream into her face. She and Mom had finally had fun together, and she had to say that. Mom had plenty to offer. Why couldn't she have found a better way to say you don't have the experience to answer the questions she had? Shit.

– – –

Karen left the house immediately after they got home, Carol couldn't get a word out—not that she had any to offer—and Lori was frowning as Karen changed and bolted instantly. She only saw a flash of tan and the door shut. She wasn't sure she wanted to know what had happened while they were out shopping.

"Uhhh...what just happened?"

"I hurt her feelings. It was a low blow." Carol dropped the bags onto the couch. "I was so rude."

"Hang on." Lori shook her head. "Tell me _exactly_ what happened."

And so she did. From the awesome day of shopping and having fun, to the Halloween invite, to being a total unfiltered dick to their mother. Lori had paused on the invite to get more details, but Carol didn't see why that was important so she kept going, and Lori just rolled her eyes and huffed but listened.

"She can't, you know," Lori stated.

"Can't what?"

"Handle the pain of childbirth." Lori started to snoop through the bags to see what they'd gotten.

"How do you know that?"

"She told me." She pulled out the cute blouse Karen had dug out from a mess of granny curtain-like tops. "Aw, I love this."

"Wait...wait. She had a baby?" Carol stared. "Like a kid? Like me?" She held her stomach as if to emphasis what she'd asked.

"Yeah." She nodded and looked at her sister. "You haven't seen that gnarly scar across her lower belly?"

"No."

"Wow, you need to start observing more." She folded the shirt and looked at Carol. "The baby didn't live longer than a week. He...was weak, sickly. Premature as well. He just couldn't make it, and she also couldn't either."

Carol shifted her weight. "What happened?"

"I happened. Mom was majorly depressed, even suicidal, and the day she wanted to call it quits, she heard me wailing. Just...howling at the top of my lungs, you know?" Lori's eyes clouded over as she remembered when Karen told her this story. "She followed my cries, broke through the damn glass sliding door...and found me on the floor. She didn't see my mother anywhere, so she picked me up, held me and comforted me. I stopped crying, and I looked at her. She looked back at me, and...she decided then that I was why."

"You were why?" Carol's brows furrowed in confusion.

"I was the reason why she survived when her baby didn't. She was meant to live and save me." She smiled sadly. "The adoption process was brutal, because of her history of depression and her mental instability at the time. Or so I imagine. She didn't go any further. It was a dark time. I wouldn't want to relive it either, so there was no way I could make her relive it. It's her past. We...just tend to let silence fill space after that."

"Me either." Carol rubbed her arms. "I wonder who the father was."

"Beats me. I was only, like, three or something." She stood up. "I'm gonna wash these, because who knows who tried these on before you. Then we'll work on your apology."

"Hey." Carol stepped towards her. "Do you...think it was...my dad's?"

Lori held the bundle of new clothes in her arms, and she wrinkled her nose. "Ew. I can't even see those two kissing, let alone having sex. I mean, have you ever seen them...act like a married couple? It'd be too weird. Plus, your mom just passed on, right? He's _still_ in love with her, so I doubt he'd heat up the sheets with Karen."

"Maybe he got drunk. People cope in odd ways."

"Not your dad. Your mom was the one for him. It makes me feel guilty for Mom, you know? She doesn't and never will hold the same place as your mom." She shuffled her feet. "Makes Axel a bit of an ass for marrying her."

"She said yes."

"I know, but come on. It's like she's just a fill in mother for you."

"Then that makes Axel a fill in father for you," Carol shot back.

"Don't get so defensive. I'm just saying."

"Well don't just say," Carol hissed. "It's not like that."

"All right, dude, chill." She scoffed under her breath. "I'm gonna go wash these now. Can you try not to eat my head off?"

"Ugh." Carol groaned. "I can't be around you right now. You're an ass."

"I'm sorry that I don't mind pointing out oddness and facts."

"Eat me," was all Carol could think to say back before she stormed out of the house.

"No thanks! I think Daryl would like to be the only one to do that!" Lori shouted back through the door. Hormonal nutcase. She loved her sister, but fuck being her punching bag. Mom and Dad weren't Elizabeth Bennett and Darcy, even Carol had to admit that. Geez.

––

Carol roamed the streets, hands in her hoodie pocket, grumbling to herself and being bitter. She was so annoyed that Lori would say those things. She wanted to smack her until her head spun around like in a cartoon. She was so irked right now. She needed a punching bag to get rid of all this excess anger. She couldn't handle it on top of the guilt and the stress of being pregnant. She would explode if she didn't expel it! Bah!

"Hey."

She jumped and lifted her head to find Daryl standing in front of her with a brown bag in his arms. "Daryl?"

"Carol?" He aped her confused and surprised tone. "You know, I work here, right? I mean, it's not just some place I hang out at."

She laughed, her anger vanishing at the funny face he made, and she shook her head. "I didn't know I'd walked this far."

"Walked? From where?"

"Home."

"Carol, that's nearly a two hour walk." He frowned. "You can't do that. Exercise like that isn't good for the baby. You don't even have anything to drink." He set the bag on the hood of a truck nearby and headed back inside. "C'mere."

"I'm fine."

"Just c'mere."

"All right, all right." She grumbled and followed him inside the building. It smelled like cleaner. He'd just cleaned everything, the glass on the display was all shiny, and the floors were still slightly damp from being just mopped. He was dirtying a floor he'd just cleaned for her. Well, for his son.

"You hungry?" He was putting gloves on his hands.

"No, no." She stepped forward, shaking her head. "You don't have to do that."

"I know." He tugged the glove down further and peeked at her. "I want to."

She blushed and smiled softly. "Thank you."

"Have a seat. I'll be back." He disappeared through the back.

She sat down in a chair by the door and looked over all the spices and sauces on display. She had never been in this store before. It was nice and clean. She could see how they did such great business. It felt...comfortable. The open spaces filled with family photos of those who started the business, places to sit and truly investigate a new sauce or seasonings, a spotless glass to view the daily options through. It was nice. She felt like she could order anything, and it'd be fresh and cook well and juicy.

And now she was drooling and starving. She wiped the corner of her mouth and blushed to find moisture there. Man, it'd been one hell of a day.

Daryl returned with anther bag and a bottle of water. "C'mon."

"Where to now?" She twisted the cap off a drank it.

"You know where." He set the bags on the floor, leaving room for her feet. "Do you need a hand up?"

"No, I'm good." She climbed inside with ease. "See?"

"Buckle up." He smirked at her.

"Yep." She clicked the belt and minded her feet to not smash whatever was in his bags. While she did that, he'd jogged around to the other side and slid inside. He was pulling out of the parking space as she lifted her head. "You just get off work?"

"Yeah. I stayed late to help clean up." He turned on his blinker. "With Halloween comin' up, boss is stockin' up for his party."

"I hear you're going."

"Probably not," he admitted. "I just said I would to get Caesar off my back. Every year, he bugs the shit outta me to go. I couldn't take it this year."

"Oh, so you're not going?"

"I ain't fond of crowds."

"Then how'd you end up at Tobin's end of school bash?" She observed him. He looked uncomfortable, part of his face twisting, and she averted her eyes. "If you don't mind me asking."

"Guess who caught me out on a walk."

"Tobin? Or Caesar?"

"Rick, actually. We had a class together. He tried to talk to me a lot, and he talked me into going to that party. I didn't want to go, but I couldn't avoid him. I had nowhere to hide." She chuckled. "And besides...I got to hook up with you, so it wasn't a loss."

"'Hook up with'," she repeated, tasting the words and finding only sourness there.

"Not like that," he quickly stammered. "I just—I got to meet you...actually meet you and talk to you."

"And have sex with me," she added. "Kind of why I'm in this car with you right now."

He frowned, not understanding.

"You—we got pregnant, so I outgrew my clothes. My mom took me shopping, I said something incredibly rude, and then Lori and I had a fight over it, so I stormed out. Two hours later apparently, here I am."

"Do you hate me for that?" Daryl inquired, not digging into her family details just yet.

"Hate you for what?"

"Having sex with you. You always find a way to bring it up. Is it 'cause we weren't in love? 'Cause you were a virgin?"

"I don't hate you. I do regret it, but...I'm making peace with that. Or I'm trying to. I can't say I've been very sucessful."

"And if you did love me," he offered, "would you still hate me for it?"

"I just said I don't hate you."

"But that doesn't mean you don't hate my actions that night."

She sighed. "Can't it just be in the past?"

"No. I want to know."

"I'm a little mad at you," she confessed. "I mean...I was. I was mad at me too, but it happened. I'm pregnant. End of story."

"Not end of story."

"Yes! End of story!"

"You can't just cut it up like that."

"Why not?" she whined.

"Because it's complicated, Carol. Our entire situation is complicated. It's only going to get worse. You're the one who said we needed to be better to each other, and if we can't clear the air about the past, about that night, how in hell can we move forward? I'm just bein' realistic here."

"I wish you'd be quiet."

"You're shit outta luck. I'm feelin' real vocal right now."

She groaned. "I didn't leave home to get into a fight with you! I've already fought with my mom and sister. I can't add you to that list!"

"You didn't even mean to run into me tonight."

"Yes, so just take me home. We'll forget this ever happened."

"Nah, you're mine tonight."

Her eyes widened, her cheeks staining bright red, and she couldn't tear her eyes off his face, not even as her lips parted slightly.

He mirrored her as he just heard what he'd said, and he turned his head away. "No—not like that, just meant to talk to."

"Geez, Daryl." She rubbed the back of her neck.

"You're the one who took it wrong. Pervert."

"Oh, shut up. You would totally sleep with me again."

"Oh, I totally would, would I?"

"Yeah, I bet you would."

"You're right. I would."

"See—" She cut off, her cheeks turning redder than her hair. "Daryl!"

"You want me to be honest or not?" he grumbled, hiding his own blush.

"Okay, stop talking like that. You're insane."

"I'm insane? You're the one who's pregnant, walkin' around in the cold with only a hoodie on, without water or a snack for hours."

"Let it go."

"I won't. You need to start considering our son first."

"I am! That's why I went clothes shopping."

"Nah, your mom dragged you to do that."

"Look, Daryl, for your information, I am doing loads of shit for our son. I'm looking into jobs. I'm looking at baby furniture. I'm looking into babyproofing. I take huge ass vitamins that choke me every day. I watch what I eat and am aware of how I'm lying or holding things. I—"

He started to chuckle.

"You think this is funny?"

"No." He pulled over. "Just didn't know you'd go off on me like that."

"Well, I love him," Carol remarked, "so I'll take care of him." She rubbed her temple. "Jesus, tonight's...just been crazy."

"Tell me about it."

She scoffed, but upon his eyes still being on her, she realized he was serious. "All right, but it's a long story."

"I'll cook while you talk." He grabbed the bags from the floor and slipped out of the truck. "Get that other bag."

She collected the lightweight bag and followed him to the same area where they had talked last time, only there was a camper parked in the middle of the woods. She nearly dropped the bag, because it was a nice ass camper. It was shiny and beautiful and had to be worth at least a couple grand, if not a couple hundred grand. She was seriously wondering how in the hell he got this. No matter how much money he saved, there was no way in hell he could have afforded this.

And there was no way he could have stolen it. It likely had some fancy GPS in it, an alarm system, and there was no way Daryl would steal a car. He wasn't the type. He was a good guy. He probably knew how to hotwire and steal a car, but knowing didn't mean he used that knowledge to obtain this RV and plant it in the middle of the woods. There was a reasonable explanation for this. She just had to ask. No jumping to conclusions. Not after the number of arguments she'd gotten in tonight, not after...the nice weirdness between them.

"So, this is nice." Carol adjusted the bag in her arms.

"You like it?" He was digging through his pocket.

"Yeah, it's...really shiny and kinda huge."

"I stole it."

"Lair." Though her heart was racing. "You didn't steal it."

He gave a small smiled. "I didn't. It's Amaro. Caesar's dad." He unlocked it and stepped inside, removing his dirty boots and setting the bag down. He turned back to take the bag from Carol who was nearing the steps.

"Oh. Why do you have it?" She handed the bag over.

"He's having his garage redone, and he needed someplace to put it. He already is using the back lot behind the restaurant for his and Caesar's cars, so I told him about this place. He said I could borrow it if I cleaned it up afterward." He set the bag on the counter and held his hand out to her. "It's a big step."

"I'm not so pregnant that I can't walk up steps."

"I didn't say you were. I was just tryin' to be nice. I don't always do things 'cause you're pregnant."

She fought off an embarrassed blush. "Oh."

He straightened up and moved back, Carol move to step up, but her shoe slid in mud. Daryl instantly jumped off the steps and caught her shoulders, nearly landing on his ass, and she ended up in his arms. Had he not moved, she would have smacked right into the steps at an angle that would have hurt the baby. Or worse. Neither of them were going there.

She buried her face in his chest, shaking somewhat at the near fall, and he slipped his hands around her to be holding her. He could feel her shaking, and he didn't know what to say, so he just kept her close. He could feel her heavy breathing against his neck, her nails digging into his coat, and she slumped against him. He could have sworn he felt her heart pounding, but honestly it could have been his own.

"Are you all right?" He didn't let go of her.

"Yea—yeah." She pushed on his chest, moving her body back slightly, not moving her feet just yet. "Sorry."

"Don't be sorry." He ran his arms down hers and let them rest at her sides. "Want a hand now?"

"I'd be fine if it weren't for this mud." She wanted to kick it, but she'd likely end up on her ass.

"It's clay," he corrected again.

"I didn't ask for the science lesson," she jokingly puffed at him, and he smirked. "Your face is clay."

"Real mature."

"I'm bad at comebacks," she admitted. "I always have been. I just spit out the first things that comes to mind. They ususally suck, so I keep them to myself, but if I'm with family or friends, I just say it. I don't care if they think I'm weird or not. I know they love me no matter what."

He met her eyes. "I'm not family or your friend, you know. I mean...unless you think..."  
She smiled a him. "Daryl, we're family." She reached over and grasped his hand, placing it on the bump they both loved unconditionally and were adamant in protecting. "We're our own little family."

Just then at the contact of his hand overlapping hers on her belly, their son kicked for the first time. Carol gasped and immediately dropped his hand, Daryl jerked his hand back as though he'd been burned, and they stared at each other for a moment. Neither one had expected that. Carol wasn't even sure when the baby would start kicking, but apparently at his father's touch. Or...both his mom and dad's touch.

"Has he ever done that before?" Daryl pointed to her stomach.

"No." She shook her head. "Never."

He reached out and set a hand on her stomach, but he didn't feel anything. He grasped her hand and placed it beside his, a few of their fingers overlapping, and they felt him kick once more. He chuckled. "Guess he likes us together."

"I guess so." She laughed softly and moved stray curls out of her face. "That's incredible. God, if you could feel it like I feel it..."

He peered up at her and only then realized how close they were. Their foreheads were inches from touching. He could see her eyelashes and the flakes of silver in those gorgeous blue eyes. He could see a light sprinkling of freckles kissing across her cheekbones and nose. She was stunning, and for a moment, just a short—very short—moment, his heart...raced at their proximity.

She lifted her head and studied him. He was in his own little world. She wondered what he was thinking about. Her mind was filled with thoughts of their son. She couldn't wait to hold him. It was going to be...a great memory. She wouldn't forget it. She wouldn't forget this either. This feeling, the closeness she felt with Daryl, and it wasn't physical closeness. She felt it emotionally, and she couldn't help the smile that crossed her lips. She wanted to hide it, because he might ask why she was smiling and staring at him like a freak, but she couldn't hide it. She was happy.


	10. Camper Talks

_A/N: I'm getting really bad about updating. I am so sorry. I've been busy with work and with my health issues, and I've been outlining. It's just getting it down into actual story. I worked my butt off to post this, because today is my five year anniversary on this site, and I am so impressed by how far I've come. I want to thank you guys, too, of course. You've given me ideas to use in my stories and insight I hadn't even thought of. You're all really awesome, and I'm super grateful. You really can't know how grateful I am to have you as readers._

* * *

 _ **Disclaimer: I own nothing.**_

– – –

Didn't you say you'd cook for me?" she suddenly asked, killing the moment, but oh well. She was hungry.

"Yeah, I will." He dropped his hand. "Let's get inside. It's gettin' cold."

"I'd like your help inside, please."

"'Course."

They climbed inside the RV, Daryl realized his socks were coated in clay now too, and he removed them. Carol giggled at the sight of him grumbling and ripping off his socks, and he blushed and turned away to finished peeling the left one off. She looked around once she realized he didn't want or need an audience after kicking off her own tennis shoes.

It was spacious for an RV, and it was beautiful. She could barely tell she was inside an RV. It felt like a little apartment. It was adorable and classy, with sparkling wooden walls and marble counters. It had a full on fridge with counter tops. There were two flat screen TVs, one at the end of the kitchen and one by the little two seater table just by the doorway. There was a tan leather love seat behind the dining table and further back were doorways. One revealed the bedroom without even having to walk back, and the other, upon inspection, led to the bathroom. It was...titled and spacious and so much prettier than hers. Man, this whole place was pretty and nicer than her entire house. Man.

"It's nice, right?" Daryl unloaded the bags.

"It's so pretty I wanna cry." She entered the living room/kitchen area. "Rich people live in a whole other world."

"Tss, yeah."

She removed her hoodie. "He seriously let you borrow it? Like, no strings attached?"

"I just gotta clean up after myself. I probably have to scrub it clean of mud too, but that's fine."

"Wow. Cool boss." She sat down on the couch and nearly melted away. "This is so comfortable. It doesn't stick to my ass at all."

He chuckled. "You're gonna do this the entire time we're here, ain't you?"

"Uh-huh." She nodded. "The floor's tiled!"

"I know. I've seen it."

"I want to own this. I probably won't make enough to own this until I'm in my thirties"

"I wanna own a house," Daryl told her. "A nice house with a backyard that's mine."

She smiled at the look of resolve on his face and leaned over the back of the couch. "I'm sure you will. You'll have to keep baby boy from painting the walls, though."

"I wouldn't mind. I'm used to cleanin' stuff up."

She tapped her fingers on the couch before asking, "So, what is it you want to do? When you're out of high school?"

"Why do you ask?" He turned his back to her and began to fold the bags.

"I was just curious. I remember you mentioned having plans when I told you about the baby. I know you're smart. Mom would mention it whenever Dad hated you big time and insulted you by saying that dumbass punk or that stupid shit." She apologized with a look on her face for dad's past statements. "You seem to have it together."

"Then you must not be lookin' hard enough." He tossed the folded bag onto the counter top. "I'm just...tryin' to figure my shit out. I don't got any plans beyond graduatin'. I'm in the guidance office pretty much every day. I need scholarships, and I've written an ass ton of essays, but...who knows if they'll do me any good, you know? I pulled up my grade point average, improved my attendance, and I'm doin' odd jobs here and there to beef up my college resume, but I don't know if it'll be enough. My old man's reputation has been cast down on me. Most people read Dixon and are uninterested."

"Well, that's bullshit. You are your own person. No one should define you by your parent."

"Tell that to them."

"I would if I thought they'd listen." She inhaled. "Sadly my opinion means little nowadays. Most people associate teenagers who are pregnant as stupid, as young women who want to throw their future down the drain. I've already had some teachers look at me like, "What a shame. I had high hopes for you". It's annoying, because my son won't hold me back. Don't get me wrong. I know he'll make things harder, but harder doesn't mean I have to stop. Harder just means I have something to fight for, you know?"

He smiled. "Yeah, that's how I feel."

She narrowed her eyes. "You didn't answer my question."

"Noticed that, huh? Here I was hopin' pregnancy brain would have kicked in." He scratched a hand through his hair. "I...wanna be a lawyer."

"Whoa."

"What? You think I can't do it? I'm too redneck for a career like that? I don't round off my g's enough for a career like that? I can't pass the bar exam? I'll be prepared for all of it when it comes. That's why I'm bustin' my ass now. For money, for scholarships, and I won't let them go to waste." He was glaring at her.

"Why do you do that?" She frowned at him. "You jump the gun the moment anyone says anything. Let them explain, please. It's not a negative remark. It's just...I'm impressed. That's a long and challenging road, and I didn't know you wanted that."

He stopped glaring, but he didn't apologize.

"Seriously, Daryl, I want—I need an answer."

"A lot of people have put me down. It's a reflex."

"When have I ever put you down?" She studied him. "And that doesn't include anything I've said during a fight."

"You hear somethin' enough from someone's mouth, you expect it from everybody else."

"You shouldn't think like that. People have different opinions. Like my mom and dad. My mom adores your hard work in school. She believes you'll go far, and she's ready to support you in any way she can. She wants you to reach all your goals. But Dad? Phew. He still doesn't think much of you. He wants you to basically wear a chastity belt and swear yourself to me and to fatherhood. He goes back and forth most days, but I block him out. He's...kinda crazy with his lack of sleep and overworking himself." She rolled her eyes as if to say whatever. "But...it doesn't matter what they say. It matters what you say and what you think and what you do. You're impressive, Daryl. I mean, I don't know you all that well, and I think that. You should think that too."

"Impressive? How?"

"You're willing to do...so much for your son. You're working overtime for him. You're taking care of him right now and don't complain about it. You're attentive to me. You're loyal. You're...impressive. You're doing so much, and a lesser man would crumble and call it quits. I'm happy that you were the one I "hooked up with"."

"Yeah?"

"Yes." She beamed at him. "Our son is going to be so loved and so well-taken care of. He'll want for nothing with a father like you."

"Thanks."

"But that doesn't mean I won't help. I just mean...you'll give him loads of affection and time and essentials, and so will I. We'll share that equally."

"I know." He walked over to the cabinets and began to pull out pans and a skillet. "So, you asked me what I wanted to be, how about you?"

"I don't know yet." She stood up. "I thought I had it figured out, but nope. I'm still trying to work it out."

He nodded. "I respect that. You're givin' it thought, though, right? 'Cause I can't solely support our child. I got bills too."

She chuckled dryly. "Of course I have thoughts. Plenty of them."

"Good." He slid a knife over to her. "Mind cuttin' some mushrooms and onions for me in a bit?"

"Sure." She moved it onto the cutting board he'd slid over to her next. "What do I do until then? Hmm."

"You could check out the bedroom," he suggested. "I'm tempted to steal that mattress."

"Really?"

"Really." He glanced at her. "It's the most comfortable bed I've ever slept on."

"Well, my back does hurt, my feet too. It couldn't hurt." She edged over to the room. "If I fall asleep, wake me up to cut those mushrooms, okay?"

"Yup."

She entered the room and lied down on the bed, instantly melting against it and moaning blissfully. She was going to steal this mattress if Daryl stole it. She'd take it from him when she dropped their son off at his place for a weekend or whatever. Oh, God, it was like lying on a bed of gorgeous feathers and foam, only comfortable. Ooh, this was amazing.

"It's nice, right?" Daryl walked over to the door to find Carol cuddling a pillow, body curled slightly, out cold. It'd barely been a second since she walked back here. He couldn't help but smile at the sight of her. She was...adorable, to be honest. All red hair and jeans. And at this angle, he could see the bump she was trying to hide with bigger sized shirts.

He hadn't noticed that before. He mostly looked at her face, if he was being real. He knew his son was down there, but he liked to meet her eyes. He rarely did that, but there was always something bubbling behind her words, and if he was looking into her eyes, they betrayed her and revealed bits of what was bugging her, or what she hoped someone would notice. He liked that he could read her in that way. He was shit at reading her any other time, so it was nice to have the upper hand. At least for now. He might find other ways to see behind her words as time went on, but the eyes were the window to the soul, so...it was probably his best bet to just stick with this.

He leaned against the wall and studied the baby bump. He'd felt it. His son had kicked at their touch, but...seeing it now was so different from feeling it. It was big. Bigger than it felt. He wondered how much of it was his son and how much was fluid. From how little weight Carol had gained, he would guess most of it was his son. She would be lucky. Once she had their son, the weight she gained wouldn't be noticeable. She might blow up at the sixth month or seventh, but he doubted it. He wasn't a doctor, but he'd bet money on her not gaining much more weight. She was a skinny girl, not as skinny as her sister, but still quite skinny.

Well, weight wise skinny. She was quite ample. She had an awesome figure. He traced her body more times that he'd care to admit that night. He knew she was beautiful, but shit. She was like a fucking goddess without clothes on. She was curvy and ample and beautiful. He wouldn't tell her that, because she got weird whenever that night was brought up, but damn, girl was fucking fine. He was surprised she didn't have a boyfriend. She was stunning and intelligent. She was probably the coolest girl he'd ever met. She had guts and fire, and he found that hilarious and respectable. He was proud and thrilled to have her be the mother to his child. Well, he wasn't thrilled to be having a kid at seventeen, but since he was, he was glad it wasn't with anyone else.

She was different than anyone else he'd ever met, too. It was corny and every guy probably had that thought about a woman in their life, but it was true. She was the first girl to ever turn his head and keep his attention longer than a few seconds. He didn't get feelings. He didn't seek girls out. They tended to come to him, and he also didn't go for virgins. He wasn't the lose it to type. He was just someone to blow off some steam with. He knew that, but he still went for it. He still chatted her up, made that move and took it upstairs. He knew it was her first time. She probably had inexperienced slapped all over her, but he couldn't stop. He knew he should have slowed it down, been smarter and just hung out with her that night. They could have gotten some food and walked around a bit. He should have shown her this area. He could have done a million other things, but he was shit at it. He didn't do small talk. He didn't do sharing. He really only did one thing, and it was all he had to offer, so he went with it. He went with it, and he did this to her. Sure, she was there too, but it was his fault. She was new to all of it, he wasn't, and he didn't try to step out of his comfort zone. Not even for a girl he was attracted too for more than half an hour.

That was something he could teach his son. Communication. He would teach him to know how to talk to women and how to treat women. He wouldn't let his son become him. He wouldn't let his son visit a clinic to get tested twice before his eighteenth birthday. He would teach him about girls and sex, and it'd be awkward, but necessary. He didn't want his son to be in this same situation. They weren't ready, not by a long shot, and he wouldn't let this pressure be on his son. He would bust his back, his brain and his fucking sanity to ensure his son never got a girl pregnant in high school, because shit. Like, Daryl was stressed the fuck out. He'd admit it. He was panicked and fucking terrified to the point of being unable to breathe. He prayed the next four months went slow as shit, because he was not ready. He was nowhere near being there. He could slap on a good face and hand Carol money and cribs and a diaper Genie, but he wasn't there. Axel wanted them both to be in the parent zone, but Daryl scarcely knew what that meant. He didn't have a mother or a father, and all he'd seen was how Amaro talked and handled Caesar and him. That was his only father figure to look to, and that hardly counted.

Carol exhaled and pulled him out of his head, moaning softly as she nuzzled the pillow. "Hmm..."

He swallowed hard and headed back to the kitchen to make dinner for her. He would focus on those thoughts later. Right now, he just wanted to make some steaks. It was simpler to just make steaks.

– – –

Axel set the boxes of pizza down on the table. "We'll make a salad and call it healthy." This he said to Lori, who had come flying down the stairs at the smell of food. "That'll please Karen's need for Carol to eat one veggie per meal."

"Mom's not here." She dug into the bell pepper and bacon pizza. Ooh, there was two types of cheese.

"What?" He handed a napkin to her as grease slid down her chin.

"Yeah, she and Carol had a fight while they were out, so she stormed out the moment they got home." She balled up the used napkin. "And Carol left after we got into it."

"Guess this must be National Callies Women Fight Day." He blew out a sigh. "I'll call Karen."

"No need." Karen limply dragged herself into the kitchen. "I'm here."

"You okay?" He set a hand on her arm, seeing she'd been crying, and she nodded weakly, trying to smile, but it didn't even make it to her lips. "Here." He guided her to a seat. "I'll get you some water."

"Thanks." She rubbed her neck and pulled out a fake smile for Lori. "Hey, kiddo, what's up?"

"Me eating my weight in pizza." She was moving onto her second piece. "And you?"

"I'm tired."

"Here." Lori handed her a slice of pizza. "It's your favorite. Pepperoni and mushrooms."

"Thanks, sweetie, but I'm not hungry."

"Try and eat a little." Axel set the glass of water beside her, gripping her shoulder to offer support through her emotional time of need.

She grasped his hand on her shoulder and squeezed it. "I should talk to Carol first. Is she in her room?"

"Nope." Lori shook her head. "She left after you. I don't know where she went, and she doesn't have her phone. I tried calling, and her shopping bag started to ring. She must have left it in Dad's coat. I didn't dig it out, so that's my guess."

"What?" Karen glanced at the clock. "It's nearly ten o' clock at night. She knows to be home by nine."

"She might have gone to Caesar's." Lori rested her arms on the island. "Or gone to see Michonne. She doesn't live that far from here."

"Their parents would have called to let us know, and my phone hasn't rung all night." Karen looked at Axel. "Has yours?"

"Just work."

"I don't even know where to begin to look for her." Karen was on her feet. "I'll stop by the Harrison's first then swing back to see Michonne. If she's not there, I'll try Caesar's."

"She could be with Daryl," Axel offered. "I mean, she's been trying to get to know him better for the baby. It's not too much of a stretch to say they're together."

"And you're okay with that?" Her brows shot up and were nearly introduced to her hairline.

"No, but she's already pregnant. What else can happen? They'll run off and get married? They don't like each other like that. I trust him to take care of her. Mostly. I trust Carol to take care of herself, so I'm not going to stress out. She wouldn't put the baby in a harmful situation."

"Wow, you're so chill. It's refreshing." Lori chewed on a bell pepper.

He ignored that and set his hands on Karen's shoulders. "I'm sure she's with him, and they're fine. You don't need to hunt her down like a bloodhound."

She nodded. "I'm going to bed then. I...I just am done with this day."

"Good night." He kissed her forehead, and she smiled a little.

"Night, Mom." Lori hugged her as she passed her, and Karen squeezed her tight before letting go. "I love you."

"I love you both," she called with a smile. "Good night."

"Night," they said once more as she padded up the stairs.

Axel leaned on the island and helped himself to Lori's slice of pizza. "I swear, you girls are going to be the death of me."

"If you touch my food again, I will kill you," Lori somewhat joked. She hadn't eaten since breakfast, because she was drowning in homework and forgot to eat lunch.

He smirked. "Wanna go grab some milkshakes?"

"Is it still open?"

"Till eleven on Saturdays."

"Dude, I'll wear my jammies. Let's go." She grabbed the box of pizza. "I'll eat this on the way."

He laughed. "Get some napkins."

"Yep."

He swiped their coats while she hurried out to the car, he turned to look back at the steps that Karen had just climbed, and he hoped she felt better. He didn't have to ask to know what had happened. He knew her well. She was like his other half. His best friend. He could read her mind by the slouch in her shoulders, the faint redness in her eyes, the poorly wiped away tear stains on her cheeks. He knew what she and Carol had fought about, and he needed to speak to Carol about it. For now, he had to feed his other daughter and give Karen some space and silence. That's what the women in his life needed, so he would provide.

And maybe when they got back, Karen would want a peach milkshake. If not, hell, he'd drink the damn thing. There were seriously killer. He hoped that meant awesome, because he'd heard Carol and her friends say it, and it just found its way into his vocabulary. Killer... Huh. Oh, well, it was just a thought. Nobody heard it. Yet he still arguing this.

"C'mon, those shakes aren't gonna drink themselves," Lori shouted playfully out the window.

He chuckled and closed the door. "I'm coming. Let me put my coat on, kid. Geez." He shook his head and got in the car. Kids today.

As he pulled out, Karen flicked the light off in the closet and heard the car as it traveled away. She was glad to have the house to herself, even if it was only for a moment. She couldn't handle the noise of her children and her best friend. She couldn't tolerate the sounds of laughter and teasing, or bickering and jesting, or even the sound of movement of feet, loud or quiet. She couldn't handle anything. She was overwhelmed. Her senses shot. She was exhausted, as though she'd been punctured and all of her energy had seeped out of her body, leaving her as limp and lifeless as a deflated balloon.

She ran a hand through her hair and gazed out the window, lifting her body up to sit in the sill. She pulled on leg up to her chest and let the other leg dangle, resting her head on her knee. She swallowed and closed her eyes. She didn't want to see the world right now. She just wanted to get some sleep and talk to Carol when she got home. She knew Carol would be able to handle the pain of labor. She was just overthinking it. She was just like her mother in that regard. Carol was tough and had a high tolerance for pain. She would need her dad or sister there, but she'd make it out just fine. She would be holding that precious blue-eyed little boy and her heart would no longer belong to her. It'd be his, and that would be all they wrote. Hmm.

She exhaled and picked up her cell phone from the dresser beside her, calling someone very dear to her. She needed to hear a voice other than the one in her head, and she needed to air out some feelings. Axel would be there for her once they were back home, and when she would need someone to snuggle up with, but for now, she needed this.

– – –

Amaro stopped in his tracks as he looked over the credit card bill, his eyes falling to his son who was working out in the weight room. It used to be a game room, but he went all football happy, so Amaro had it redone. There was a section in there for video games, and Caesar still played the crap out of them, but he was more interested in getting buff. He wanted to increase his endurance. He wanted to get picked by a scout and attend college on a football scholarship and of course some intellectual scholarships. He was a smart kid, and he wanted to go far in life his own way, not through his father and grandfather and great grandfather's company and money.

Of course Amaro knew Caesar would work the shop after he graduated. He'd manage the business, because he loved it. He loved business and marketing and people. He would lead Martinez Meats far, and he couldn't wait to see that process. Caesar had a good head on his shoulders, a knack for reading people and for business, and he was a good young man. Which had to lead to this interesting purchase.

"Hey, mi luz?" He entered the gym as Caesar finished up his set. "I have a bone to pick with you. Two, actually."

"What's up?" He wiped sweat off his forehead with a towel, tossing it over the bench.

"I told you not to do that without a spotter." He gestured to the equipment his son was just using.

"I just wanted to get it over with. You had paperwork, and Lex had to finish up kitchen. I have a test tomorrow, so I wanted to knock this out and get to studyin'. I'm sorry."

He nodded. "Just don't make a habit of it, all right?"

"I won't."

"And the other thing." He held up the credit card bill, and Caesar pursed his lips at the sight of it. "You want to tell me something, son?"

He swallowed. "Uhhhh...no?"

"Wrong answer." He pulled a chair over and sat in front of his son. "You mind telling me why you bought a three hundred dollar stroller? You don't have a girlfriend, let alone know anybody with a baby."

"Well, not yet," he murmured.

He tilted his head. "Carol's not due till next year, and it's not your son."

"I know he's not, but...I wanted to get it for her. For them."

"You want to get them something? Get them diapers. They'll need them. Trust me."

"I wanted to get something for Carol and the baby that'll be useful. Something they would need—beyond diapers. I read all the reviews, and it's an awesome stroller, Dad. It comes with a car seat and it even connects the car seat to the stroller. It's really cool. And I got it in green, so if they have another kid or if she has another kid, they could still use it. It's durable. It's worth the price." He met his eyes. "And I know Daryl doesn't have a lot of money, so I wanted to help. It's not out of pity, trust me. He's just...kind of scrapping by right now. He's saving money, and I didn't want him to dip into those funds."

"Saving money for what?"

"An apartment? A car? I don't know. He doesn't talk about it, but I caught a peek of his bank statement, and let's just say...he's definitely been saving up since his first paycheck. He has three different accounts for every day purchases and bills and then his saving account. I'm pretty sure he balances his checkbook."

"Huh." He was impressed, but he would save that for later. "Caesar, I know you and Daryl are friends, and you and Carol have gotten close, but you can't just spend three hundred plus dollars on them."

"I'll pay it off. I make that much in two checks." He shrugged. "I don't mind. I have everything I need because of you, Dad, and I want to help them out. They have a huge surprise on their hands, and I'd like to make it less...aahhh, you know?"

He pressed his lips together.

"I won't get in over my head. It's just a gift for Carol, and I'll get something for Daryl, too. It'll be for the baby, but I'll give it to him. Or try. He might be too proud to accept a gift from me."

He nodded. "He is a stubborn kid, but he'll take it. It's not charity. It's...your soft heart." He ruffled his son's hair. "You're a good kid, mi luz. Don't lose that, but don't let anyone ever use it against you, all right? You can help Carol out, but don't overdo it. There's a line between helping and shoving stuff down her throat."

"I know. I just want to give her, like, two more things. They won't cost more than twenty bucks. I just have to refurbish and polish one up, and the other...needs some work too, but it won't cost anything."

"Okay." He tapped the bill against his leg and stood up. "Don't spend anymore on that card. You have a limit, and I'm keeping it low. I don't want you in debt, just building your credit."

"Yes, sir." He smirked at his dad.

He smacked him lightly with the bill and headed out of the room. "Dinner's at seven!"

"It always is! Why are you telling me?"

"Because you need a shower. You stink." He pinched his nose and waved the bill in front of his face to "fan the smell" away. "Phew."

Caesar rolled his eyes but collected his things to shower. He wanted to scrub the sweat off his body and devour dinner and collapse into bed after all of that. He would deal with this tomorrow. He had to keep his energy up to study after dinner. The rest could wait.

Amaro glanced back as Caesar jogged up the stairs, and he narrowed his eyes in thought. Hmm... He might just have to join his son with this. He already had an idea on how to lend Daryl a hand with one of his problems, if the young man would take it. Daryl was no fan of charity. He would diss anyone who pitied him and tried to give him a handout. It was painful to watch, but this wasn't a handout. It was just an opportunity. It was up to him whether or not he'd take it, but Amaro would offer it to the expectant father. It was the least he could do, given how much work and effort Daryl put into the business.

– – –

"It smells good in here." Carol dragged herself out of bed at the scent of food, Daryl chuckled at how sleepy she still was and yet how eager to munch on something.

"Well, it's all cooked, so it oughta smell good."

"Yes. Food. I'm so hungry." She sat down at the table while he filled a couple glasses with soda. "This looks so good." He had made some rolls that rested in a basket in the middle of the table with a little dish of butter. They each had a massive steak, a baked potato and steamed broccoli. There were little dishes so she could make her own potato, and she was dead ass about to pour every bacon bit onto her potato. She wanted so much meat right now. God, all the meat ever. Give it to her.

He set a bowl down and sat in the chair across from her. "It's all still real hot, so be careful."

She nodded and reached for a roll, stopping to smack herself in the forehead. "I forgot the mushroom! Crap! I totally passed out before I could cook them. I'm so sorry."

"Don't worry about it." He slid the bowl he'd just set down across the table to her. "I got it."

"Yeah, but I'd said I'd make them. I told you to wake me up."

"You looked too comfortable. I wanted to let you sleep."

"Uh-huh. Sure." She blew out a sigh and nibbled on a roll. "I guess it's too late to complain now."

"Yeah, it is." He smirked. "Just eat and forget about it. You can make the next meal, how about that?"

"Deal." She returned his smirk with a bright smile.

They enjoyed the meal in mild silence. Carol mentioned a few things about the baby shower and about Halloween. Daryl wasn't much into talking, but he did like listening to her talk. She was mostly trying to gracefully shovel food into her mouth, so he had to not laugh. She was so adorable to watch, though. She would cram meat and onions in and catch him watching, so she'd blush and laugh awkwardly and cover her mouth while she chewed. She'd even apologize, which made him laugh. He reminded her that he lived with a man that would eat beans out of a can, because he was too lazy to warm them up and find a bowl that was right in front of him. (Literally above the drawer where he got the spoon from.) She still blushed, but she dropped her hand. It made him feel...good. Like they were getting...closer. And he wanted that, he discovered. He really did want to get closer to her.

And not physically, like they were now, all stuffed and sprawled out onto the amazingly comfortable bed. They had finished their meal, loaded up the dishwasher and were now digesting in comfort. Daryl had dessert, but he was too full. He couldn't even tell Carol about it, because if he saw her eating it, he'd hurl. It'd be too much, and he'd vomit. He'd just...let it slip later. Maybe before they went home. He'd just give it to her to eat there. Fuck all. He was so full. Blurg.

"You have a food baby." Carol teased as he groaned softly.

"You callin' me fat?"

"No, just a little bloated." She wanted to poke his stomach, but she didn't think he'd like it. And he might also bust, and she didn't want to see him puke. Not today, thanks.

"Well, you're a lotta bloated." He reached over and set a hand on her swollen belly, causing her to jolt. He instantly removed his hand. "I—Sorry, I didn't—I shouldn't have touched you. I should've asked. I'm sorry."

"No, no, it's all right. You just...caught me by surprise." She set her hand where his was seconds ago. "You can touch my belly. It's all right. I mean, if you go any higher or lower, hell yeah, ask me first but I'm okay with you touching my belly."

"Really?"

"Well, you've already touched all of me, so..." She tried to make it into a joke, but it fell flat.

He dropped his eyes and sat up some, propping his feet against the frame of the bed. "There you go again."

"I'm sorry. Poor joke." She averted her eyes.

"Why...does it bother you? I know it's more than just it being your first time and us not bein' in love. What is it that eats you so bad?" He turned to look at her. "If you don't mind me askin'—as a friend, not somebody who's had sex with you, I mean."

She sighed and pushed herself up into a sitting position. "Well, to be honest...and don't mock me, okay?"

"I won't." He met her eyes. "And...I wouldn't."

She believed him. "I...I want what my parents had. They were each others first big love, and they were together through so much. They always knew...they would be together. They knew they were it for each other, and...I want that."

"You still could," he commented.

"No." She bowed her head. "I wanted my first everything to be with that guy, the one...I'd be with, who I loved like my mom loved my dad. And not to knock you, but I don't feel that way towards you. I mean, I don't know you. I mean, I know you a little, and I do care about you, but I'm not...big time in love with you, you know?"

He nodded. "Kinda."

"I guess I wanted everything to be his and only his. It's silly, I know, but it's what I wanted since I was a little girl. I wanted my first and last everything to be with this awesome, funny, sweet guy...who loves me so deep that it hurts, and I wanted to feel that with him. I wanted to live out my life with him."

"You...you still could." His throat was dry, and he couldn't help the stammer. "I mean, you'll have a bit of me hangin' around, but if the right guy comes by...you can still have all that. It just won't be exactly how you pictured it."

"Nothing is exactly how I pictured it." She stroked her belly. "I thought my biggest concern would be trying to deal with my latest crush and Paula's harassment...not preparing for a baby. My baby."

"Yeah, I hear that."

She peeked at him. "Who was your first?"

"Huh?" The tips of his ears burned, and he was grateful for his shaggy hair so she couldn't see them.

"Who was the first girl you slept with?"

"Wasn't a girl," he confessed.

"A boy?" Her eyes widened, her jaw nearly smacking the floor.

"What?! No! No." He shook his head. "That—that ain't how I swing. Er, both ways, I mean. I stick to one side."

"Oh." She was a little relieved. "Then what did you mean, not a girl?"

"It was with a woman," he clarified.

"A woman?" She frowned. "How old were you?"

"Fifteen."

"Fifteen?! Dude, that's not legal. It still isn't legal right now."

"Calm down. It was willin' and all. It just sorta happened, and that was it. I don't even remember her name, or her face for that matter." He rubbed his neck, uneasy with this subject.

"See, that's what I don't want to happen. I don't want to share myself with someone who isn't going to remember me in three years."

"I'll remember you in three years," he griped. "Hell, I'd remember ya in ten."

She smiled a little. "Oh, yeah?"

He blushed, not knowing she'd heard him grumbling to himself. "Don't get cocky." He was trying to hide his blush with his hair.

"Will you remember me 'cause you had a crush on me?" she inquired.

"Nah, more 'cause you're havin' my only kid."

"Gee, thanks." She stuck her tongue out at him.

"Do it again. I dare you." He sent her teasing look.

"What are you gonna do?" She arched a brow. "Bite my tongue for me?"

"I just might." He smirked back at her.

His words from the ride over played in her head, and she didn't like her body's reaction to that. She shifted and shook her head. "Let's just change the subject."

"Fine by me." He lied back, stacking his hands under his head and exhaling. "You thought of any names yet?"

"Not really. I'm just...all over the place. I didn't know if I wanted kids or not, so I didn't have names prepared. We'll just have to decide on something together." She lied down beside him, a visible line between the pair, but they were relaxed. "You have names?"

"Nah. I didn't figure I'd be a dad," he confessed. "Thought...it'd just be me."

"I see." She stretched her legs and moaned softly when her knee popped just right. "You never saw yourself settling down?"

"Shit don't settle—ever, so I can't." He shook his head. "It's always somethin'."

"That's a terrible outlook."

"It's realistic."

"Terrible."

"Realistic."

"Don't teach our son about your "realistic outlook", please and thank you. I want him to have hope and enthusiasm."

"I'll raise our son to be a better man than I could ever hope to be," he informed her, catching her stare. "I'll teach him right from wrong, manners, dedication, honesty...all the things I had to teach myself. He won't... You won't have to worry about me raisin' him to be like me and Merle. He'll be a good kid, a good man. If I can't raise him by example...then he'll have you."

She gaped at him.

"What?" He didn't like her staring at him like that.

"Daryl...that's beautiful. I didn't know you felt that way." She reached over and grasped his hand. "You'll be able to teach him all of those things and how to be a good person. God, you're amazing, Daryl, don't you see that?"

"Just tryin' do right by you."

"It's more than that, and you know it." She gripped his hand. "This is why I care about you. You have such...kindness in you. I love that."

His heart fluttered at that, and he smiled a little. "Thanks, Carol."

She weaved her fingers through his, setting them over her belly, where there son gave quite a kick to let them know he was there, and she smiled at him. "No, Daryl...thank you." She couldn't exactly say what she was thanking him for, but she wanted to thank him so badly. The words weren't enough, but they were all she had. She hoped it would suffice.

The two talked a bit more about their son and names and raising him, but soon the weight of the hearty meal and the soft warmth of the blankets lulled them to sleep. Daryl had been awake enough to toss a blanket over them, his eyes drooping before he, too, drifted off. The last thing he was aware of was Carol's hand still holding his...


	11. Something Wicked This Way Comes

_A/N: Due to my work schedule, I'm going to throw out a couple chapters on each of these stories. This will be the first. I'm sorry about halt on this. Life happens. Anyway, I hope you all enjoy this, and I hope you're all well and having a very good start to the year. If not, well maybe things can change._

* * *

 _ **Disclaimer: I own nothing.**_

– – –

Carol scribbled notes into her binder, half asleep as Dale lectured on and on, and she was ready for a nap and some chicken wings. Yum, chicken wings. She just wanted to shovel them in. She was so hungry. That was her current mood for everything these days. Hunger. It would be annoying if she had room for annoying. But she did not.

She rested her chin on her knuckles and sighed softly. Speaking of annoyed, that's how her parents were when she came home after spending that night with Daryl. They were relieved to know she was okay, but they were so pissed she hadn't contacted them. She apologized and explained what had happened, leaving out her and Lori's fight, and Daryl even tried to assure them she was all right. Dad didn't like the fact that they had been in the middle of nowhere together alone. He went on and on about what could happened, the dangers of people and animals and how important it was to keep themselves and the baby safe. He wasn't all at irked that they had slept together—not that they did anything—so that as an improvement, and it led to Daryl being able to come over anytime he wanted. Dad didn't like that much, but he liked knowing they were safe and at home, so he put that on the table. It was a big step for Dad, and they were both stunned and happy with it.

Carol apologized profusely to her mom that morning, about their fight, about not calling and about her ungrateful attitude. She couldn't stop apologizing, and Mom was confused, but she was happy too. She told her it was all right and hugged her. She said that one day they would have a talk, and Carol hugged her even tighter. She knew what that talk was about, so she wanted her mom to know she was there. She loved her. She would support her through it, starting right now, and Karen kissed her forehead and made breakfast for everyone. Including Daryl, who had just become a new member of the family. He even got invited to their Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Years dinners. He looked...a little unsure, but he said he'd come, and everyone was actually happy to hear it, even Lori, who had yet to warm to Daryl. She was...on the fence still. She didn't say anything, but Carol knew her sister. She spent the whole meal sizing him up, so that meant she'd have a talk with him. Soon.

The dismissal bell rang, Carol collected her things and was met by her friends at the door. They headed to lunch together, Michonne went through the line to get a salad, and Andrea went to her locker to grab her lunch, and Carol met the eyes of the guy who was bringing her lunch. She hadn't asked him to, but he took the whole being the father of her baby seriously, especially tending to her cravings. She felt so guilty, but he said it was no trouble. It made her giddy, and she was so thankful to have him as a friend and as the father of their child. There was no one else she'd want. At least for right now. She was just a kid, and she had a long way to go, so who knows where life would lead her after graduation.

"I went ahead and got twenty for you." He set the bag down. "There's some sauces in there and some nuts for later."

"You didn't have to do that."

"You always say that," he reminded her, "and then you want honey roasted almonds or sunflower seeds by fourth period."

She blushed. "That was one time."

"Still. They're good for you and the baby." He sat down. "Speakin' of the baby, I was wonderin'...if I could come to the next appointment."

She was taken aback and didn't know what to say.

"I know it's before Halloween—Karen told me—and I was hopin' to go. I wanna see him with my own eyes. It's nice to see the sonogram and hear the recorded heartbeat, but I need to see him." He studied her eyes. "Please. It's...just something...I need."

She swallowed, uneasy with this, but she nodded. "Okay. I'll talk to Mom."

"I don't want Karen's approval," he remarked. "I want yours. Are you okay with it? If you're not, tell me. I can wait until he's born. I'd just...rather see him sooner than that."

She pursed her lips. "I'm not okay with it," she confessed. "I'm used to Mom being there with me, but I guess...it doesn't matter if you come. I'm always emotional during, so you'll see me cry—a lot. And it's overwhelming, so don't freak out, okay?"

"Carol, I won't bail on you just 'cause I'm actually seeing our son. I'm here for him and for you. You're stuck with me. I won't be that kind of guy. I'll be a good dad. I told you that."

"No, I know that. I just meant... It freaked Dad and Lori out to see him—to actually see him moving and breathing. It's...a real eye opener, and I don't want you to be uneasy. Dad cried. Lori cried. I cried. Mom had to take them outside to calm them down, and it was just a mess." She began to pull out the chicken wings from the container, wanting them in her stomach already. "Just be prepared for a plethora of tears."

He chuckled. "It's all right. I'll be ready. I'll even bring some tissues." He smiled a little. "I'll see you after school. I'm takin' you home, right?"

"Yes."

"All right." He stood up as Michonne and Andrea joined them. "Enjoy. There's a couple drinks in there, too. I'm gonna hit the library."

"Thank you, Daryl." She smiled at him, and he nodded.

"Hey, stay." Andrea set her lunch bag down. "Eat with us."

"Nah, I shouldn't. I gotta test next period."

"And you're probably prepared out the ass for it. You should sit with us. We're all family now." Michonne took a seat by Andrea's lunch bag. "We should actually get to know you, guy who knocked up our best friend and continues to avoid us like we'll judge and persecute him."

He chuckled nervously and looked at Carol, who only shrugged and chowed down on the wings Amaro had made. "I—I dunno. I guess I could."

"You'll just have to move." Andrea sat down where he was sitting. "This is my spot. Sorry."

"No worries. I'll go around."

Carol lowered the chicken legs whose meat she'd just inhaled. "Be nice, okay?"

"We will be." Andrea unpacked her meal. "We're not vicious animals."

"You can be." Carol smiled warmly as Daryl sat beside her. "So, did you get the final headcount for the party?"

"Tssh, yeah, it's about our entire graduating class for the next four years." Daryl adjusted his legs under the table. "Caesar and Amaro went all out for it, too. I helped them set it up yesterday, and we still got more to do today."

"They didn't hire decorators?" Michonne's brows rose.

"Nah, Amaro loves Halloween, so he goes all out at Hobby Lobby and spews out webs and gore and classic horror movie references." He rolled his eyes, but there was a hint of a smile on his lips. "He has one room themed entirely in _Hocus Pocus_ for any little kids the adults bring."

"I'm a kid." Andrea popped open her milk. "I'll bring myself."

"Each room kinda has its own theme," he told them. "I don't know the rest. We're doin' 'em tonight."

"The party's on Friday. Will all of it be ready by then?" Carol licked buffalo sauce off her fingers.

"Oughta be." He nodded. "We got some help from Caesar's cousins tonight, and there's a lot of them. I mean, like, a lot."

"Well, have you seen the men in his family?" Michonne commented. "I'd have a hard time keeping my hands to myself, too."

Andrea smirked. "I'll just have to keep them to myself then."

"Don't get jealous on me. It's not cute."

"I was joking." She held her hands up. "Besides they're all in college or married, and you're loyal as hell, so no worries."

"Like how my loyalty is last on that list," Michonne mumbled.

"There is no winning." Andrea turned to Carol. "New subject: baby shower. You're due in February, right?"

"Yeah."

"What day again? I think it's the twenty-fourth? I'm probably wrong."

"It's the twenty-seventh," she corrected politely.

"Well, I was close." She shrugged it away. "We might throw the party on the twentieth."

"Party?" Daryl shifted on the small circular seat.

"Yeah, the baby shower." Michonne flicked a piece of uncooked rice to the side of her tray. "Carol and baby here will be showered in gifts, games and unnecessary advice."

"We will have to work on the guest list, but nobody will be a judge-y asshole," Andrea assured her.

"It's okay. I'm used to it."

"But you shouldn't have to be used to it, especially on one of the days where we're celebrating your child." Michonne straightened her shoulders. "It'll be people who understand and love you. It'll be fun."

Carol smiled. "Okay, okay."

"Could I come?" Daryl inquired. "Or...is this a family thing?"

"You are family," Carol instantly corrected him. "And I don't know. Girls, should he be allowed to come?"

"Baby showers are usually a women only thing." Andrea spotted Paula and Caesar talking by the vending machine and noted how Paula was batting her eyelashes at him. What the actual entire fuck?

"I think it'd be cool." Carol looked at Michonne. "I mean, if it's an environment filled with people who make me happy and relaxed and able to enjoy myself and my son then Daryl definitely should come. Caesar, too."

"It's your baby shower. Well, the guest list anyway."

"Gee, thanks."

"No problem. I'll add them to the list. Anyone else?" Michonne clicked the end of her pen that she'd just dug out of her pocket and flipped open her binder. "I have to have at least thirty people."

"Jesus." Daryl wasn't comfortable with that many people being around him and Carol and the baby for that much time. They'd be the center of attention—on purpose.

"Well, I have a deal with my uncle to use his "property", but I have to have at least thirty people."

"Your uncle has property?" Carol didn't remember hearing that about him.

"No. It's one of the establishments he works with. They aren't using it that month due to renovations, so I got lucky. He wants a lot of people to see it, so they'll use it. It's free promotion basically."

Andrea choked down a dry piece of meat. "Carol, it's a beautiful spot, and you'll love it. We have most of the details worked out, so it'll be cozy, and it'll still be a little chilly, so we won't overheat you. It's awesome."

"I don't know. I kind of wanted it to be a little more intimate, just us at my house."

Daryl was ready to pray they agreed to do this, because fuck free promotion and fuck thirty people crowding around with them with advise and food and questions. He was sweating just thinking about it. He couldn't do it. He could barely put up with Axel for two minute greetings. He didn't do people. He just didn't. He'd have to get over that, but one step at a time. He just got his attendance up.

"You sure? I mean, it's your first baby shower. We used to talk about this day." Michonne tapped her pen against the paper in her binder.

"Yeah, I thought I'd be twenty-something and married and in the beginning of my career. This isn't what we talked about." She gestured vaguely to their surroundings.

"Okay, true. It's your day, so don't let us pressure you into saying anything you don't want. Give us some ideas."

"I'd like it to be at one of our homes, just family and close friends and snacks I can actually eat, please. Go crazy with decorations and games, but not with an overload of people. I don't think I can take it, especially not nearly nine months pregnant. I just want people I love and care about there."

"Including Nana?" Andrea dared to ask.

Carol's stomach dropped. "Oh, God. Nana."

"What?" Daryl glanced from Carol to Andrea. "Who's Nana?"

"My grandmother," Carol whispered, almost terrified. "She's...like the closest person to me, and I completely forgot to tell her about the baby. I completely forgot her. Oh, my God. Oh, no, no, no." She buried her face in her overlapped arms and moaned a whimper. "Shit."

Daryl was about to console her when she shot back up. "And I haven't even thought to tell Dad to call them. I haven't spoken to them since the summer. Grandpa was praising me on my high scores on the end of course exams, and Nan was so proud of me. How the hell am I going to tell them I'm pregnant after our last encounter? Oh, God." She dropped her face to her hands.

"I gues we'll hold off on sending the RSVP then." Andrea bit her bottom lip. "I figured you forgot."

"They went on vacation," she spoke through her hands now, "and I couldn't call them, because it would jack up my phone bill. That's why I forgot, and now I have to call them and invite them over. I have to tell them I'm carrying their great-grandchild, and Daryl's gonna get killed by Grandpa. Oh, God."

"Why do I gotta be there?"

"You're family!" she huffed, dropping her hands. "You're family, and I will not be yelled at alone. You cannot leave me to be yelled at alone, Daryl!" She was pleading more than yelling, her eyes filling with tears as fear sank into her heart. "Please, you have to be there."

He was about to make an excuse when she grasped his hand and held it tightly for support. He wanted to pitch himself off a cliff, but he simply rubbed his thumb into the back of her hand. "I'll be there."

"Really?" She blinked hard to push the tears back. Her son could take her bladder and use it as a toy, but not her tears. She wouldn't cry in the cafeteria. Again. This week...

"Yeah." He nodded. "Just let me know when and where."

"Probably somewhere private. Grandpa yells." She swallowed. "If he takes it poorly, don't invite him to the shower."

"We'll send one to Nan on the downlow," Michonne replied then spoke to Daryl. "You'll love her. She's the best grandmother in the entire world—and mine cooks for me whenever I come over to visit."

"She sounds...like a grandma," was all he could say.

"She's, like, the human equivalent of supportive and nurturing." Carol smiled fondly. "She's going to like you a lot. She'll probably buy you a million outfits. And homemade socks. She'll knit you an ass ton."

"Me or the kid?" Daryl wasn't sure which she was talking to.

"Both," came the answer from all three girls.

"Great." He began to chew his bottom lip. Maybe Amaro would crush him with the massive pumpkin for the Halloween theme garden...

––

"They're getting awfully close." Axel adjusted the blinds in the living room.

Karen looked up from grading papers and preparing her end of course, which was coming so soon. This semester had just blown by, and soon she'd been onto the second and be a grandmother, and everything was just building up. She had a lot on her plate right now, and she felt so guilty. She had no reason to, but there it was. It would make itself known to the girls when it was ready, not when she was ready, but that was just how the cookie crumbled.

"Leave them be." She knew it had to be Carol and Daryl.

"No, they went around to the basement door. I mean the neighbors. They moved in, what? A month ago? Two months ago?"

She shrugged. "I don't know. Why? What do you mean close?"

"They're coming over. They're coming over!" He jerked back from the window. "Are the cars in the garage? Can we pretend we're not home?"

She giggled.

"Damn, Daryl's truck's out there." He heaved a dramatic sigh. "Damn it all."

"Calm down, you big baby. I'll do the talking." She stood up. "And fix your collar."

"No, then they'll think I look nice for people to come and stop by more often."

She adjusted his collar. "No one's that crazy but you, honey."

"You don't know how people think—I do. I work with them all day long. Lawyers, too."

"I work with people all day long."

"Teenagers! You got hormones, low self-esteem, bullying, some slight dope heads..." He paused. "Okay, we may be on even ground."

"Shut up." She laughed and smacked him lightly on the chest.

The knock on the door drew their attention, Axel took a deep breath to prepare himself, and Karen pulled the door open. On the other side were two teenage girls and an older man. Karen felt Axel's arm around her shoulders, and she knew he had that big goofy smile on. She could only hope it didn't chase them off like the kids on Halloween last year. It didn't help that he was also a Freddie-Michael-Pennywise mashup. She knew he was indecisive, but come on. She made him change after the fourth group of kids ran off crying. He was then "The Disappointed Man" or "The Underappreciated Man". She wasn't sure which title he'd gone with, because he was indecisive as all get out.

"Hello." She greeted them with a wide, warm smile.

"Hey," the younger girl with pigtails replied with an equally warm smile.

"Hello." The older girl was softer in her greeting, hardly making eye-contact.

"Hi, I'm David." Their father smiled kindly. "We moved in a while back, but I wanted to get settled in at work and the girls at school, but life has a way of kicking your ass."

The younger girl chuckled. "You should get that on a t-shirt, Dad."

"I just might." He turned back to his neighbors. "I just wanted to introduce myself and say that if you need anything, especially help hiding a body, let me know." He winked at Axel.

"Oh, she's already pregnant," he replied, "and I'm already over it, but maybe once she's in labor and I can't stand her pained screams, I'll give you a call."

Karen elbowed him. "He's kidding."

"I wish," Axel said through his teeth.

"Hey, if you need it, I'll help you." Pigtails joked.

"Tara, please," her sister rolled her eyes. "You're not funny."

Tara stuck her tongue out.

"Girls, please." David shook his head. "These are my daughters, Lilly and Tara. They're always fighting, so if you hear yelling, it's just them."

"She's immature," Lilly stated. "If you need anything, come to me."

"Yeah, says the girl who's four years ahead of their daughter," Tara shot back.

"Shut up!" Lilly wanted to smack her.

"Girls," David interrupted them, "Not now, please."

"I'm going home." Lilly had tears in her eyes but still met Karen's. "If Carol ever needs to talk, let her know I'm here, okay?"

"Of course." Karen nodded.

Lilly headed back to her house, David scolded Tara silently before he apologized to the couple and crossed the street. He had to cheer up his daughter before she went on a tangent about Meghan and life. He hated to see her like that, so he had to get those tears out of her eyes.

Tara felt guilty for snapping back. She didn't mean to sound so...annoyed. Or worse...regretted what happened four years ago. Damn. She had to apologize. "I'm sorry." Tara rubbed the back of her neck. "I didn't mean to show my ass. Lilly's...great. Carol and she will have a lot in common."

"Will they?" Axel had lost the fake smile and started to warm to these realistic neighbors of his.

"Yeah, Lil...had a kid her freshmen year, so we get it," Tara remarked. "It can be rough, and we wanted you to know we're here to help. Me and Lilly. She's been wanting to meet Carol since the rumors were confirmed, but Lilly's shy, and she works her butt off for Meg and her future. So, um, if Carol wants to come over on Thursdays after school or Sunday mornings, Lilly can answer any questions she might have and just...be a former preggo girl in high school buddy to her."

Karen smiled, admiring their new neighbors. "Thank you. I'm sure Carol has lots of questions. I'll tell her."

"Cool." Tara smiled. "And we're always down for a barbecue, so just drop by if you don't feel like cooking. And if meat doesn't make Carol sick."

"I'll bring the chip dip," Axel mused. "But seriously, I have like four cups of chip dip. It was on sale."

"He's serious."

"I love some on sale chip dip, dude. Bring it." She crossed her arms. "We don't seem like good company, but the three of us are hilarious at times. Annoying at times, too, but who isn't?"

"It's just the three of you?" Karen's brows furrowed.

"Yeah, our...mom passed on when we were kids. Any woman you see coming or going is a nanny for Meg—my niece. We...tell people it's our mom to try and keep them from spying on Lilly like she's a four-headed monster. People already have isolated her 'cause of Meg, so..." She shrugged. "It's what we do to protect her from the cruel world."

"Well, if you or Lilly ever need anything in school or out, let me know." Karen pulled out a smile. "I'm always happy to make room for two more. My table looks more and more bear by the day."

Tara returned her smile. "I'll remember that." She glanced back at the house. "I should check on Lilly, but if you want to cook out, seriously just drop by. I'm always down for grilled ribs, and once you've had our dad's, you'll camp outside our backyard."

"Don't tempt her. She's a huge meat fan. She's small, but she can pack it away." Axel readied himself for the elbow, but she didn't hand it out.

"Bye." Tara hurried back across the street.

Karen waved and shut the door, smacking Axel's cheek lightly on her way back to the table. "For that, you're making dinner tonight, and Carol can't stand fish, and all we have is trout."

"I'll grab some burgers." He rubbed his stomach where she'd hit him before. "You really bruised me, you know that, right?"

"I know you can handle it." She smirked. "Besides you've done worse to me. You bodyslammed me."

"I fell on you," he retorted. "We were exhausted, the girls were finally asleep, and I dropped like a stone. I just happened to drop on you."

"I had to see a chiropractor to get my back fixed."

"Coulda just asked me."

"I'd rather have someone who's certified."

"Uh-huh." He put his hands on his sides. "So, I have news."

"I'm not shaving your back again," she muttered. "The magazine fundraiser can screw off."

"What? No. It's not work. Well, it is work." He neared her. "We're having a Halloween fundraiser. We're partnering up with Martinez Meats, so it'll be at his house. The more people that come and donate, the better it looks for me. I'm running it—against my will, just so you know we're both forced into this."

"Oh. That sounds like fun." She raised her head. "But I can't."

"Why not? I'll beg."

"The school is hosting a trick or treat for kids. We all are assigned to kids that we're chaperoning so they're parents can probably booze it up and forget they have kids for a few hours." She offered an apologetic smile. "I couldn't get Dale to take my slot, so I'm stuck with seven kids from the elementary school. I'm sorry."

He blew out a sigh. "No, it's fine. My coworkers will continue to think you're imaginary and all my photos are edited."

"They've met me."

"Not since I was promoted," he reminded her. "They think you're out of my league, or that I'm paying you to pose in family photos."

"That's hilarious."

"Not for me. It's worse than when they misspelled my name and everyone called me Excel for two years."

She giggled. "I forgot about that!"

"It's not funny. You're cruel."

"It _is_ funny."

He threw his hands up. "I'm going to pick up dinner before I get any more wounds."

"You know I love you."

"You show it so well." He smirked at her. "Do you want turkey, beef or chicken?"

"I want a steak and a potato—with _all_ of the fixings."

"A woman after my own heart." He swiped his keys. "I'll get the girls a burger. Shh."

"Don't bother getting me anything." Lori came off the steps, all dressed up and ready for a date she didn't tell them about. "I'm going to meet Rick, and we'll pick up something on the way."

"The way where?" He narrowed his eyes.

"To his house. We're studying our test in Williams'. I told you guys last week." She looked from Mom to Axel. "You don't remember?"

"No, sweetie, I'm sorry." Karen set her pen down. "How long will you be out?"

"Till ten. I know my curfew, unlike you guys. You don't seem to remember anything but Carol and the baby." She inhaled, rolling her eyes to the side to avoid eye contact. "I have to go. Rick's waiting."

"Lori, we didn't mean—"

"Nobody really means to," she interrupted Axel, "but someone is always forgotten. Guess it's just me now." She walked out without giving them a chance to even blink.

"Oh, God." Karen ran a hand through her hair. "I need to talk to her tonight."

"We both need to, apparently." He sighed. "I don't remember her saying anything about this."

"I don't either, and I make notes of it." She pointed to the notes of Carol's appointments and Lori's dental appointment. "I don't know how we both would have forgotten. I'm on top of Carol's pregnancy, and you're busy with work, but still. There's no way both of us would have missed this."

"She could be lying to go out with Rick," he offered.

"That's not like Lori."

"It's also not like us to let them go out with boys in the middle of the week," he told her. "She's been spending a lot of time with Rick lately, so...maybe she's using Carol as an excuse to make us guilty and get her way."

"I need to talk to her before I run off into conspiracy land with you."

"I'm going to pick up food. Is Daryl still here?"

"Yeah. We didn't get the terrible backfire of his truck, so yeah."

"We should get that looked at."

"It's just an old truck," Daryl stated. "Loud noise comes with the territory."

Axel would have jumped had he not gotten used to Carol doing that. Those steps didn't squeak one fucking bit, and he used to teeter on them to spare his heart. After no avail to the teeter, he said fuck it and his heart just got used to it. Probably why the pregnancy news nearly killed him. It needed a jump start.

"Oh. If you say so."

Daryl went to the fridge and pointed to it. "Is it all right if I grab some juice for Carol?"

"Sure, sweetie, help yourself."

"You sure?"

"Just don't touch my stout," Axel mused.

"All right." He looked at the cabinets for a moment, not sure which one held glasses. He and Merle didn't have any cups or plates. It was all paper, plastic or cans.

"Top left," Axel answered the unspoken question. "The Disney cup is her favorite, but don't tell her I told you that."

"Thanks." He pulled two cups down and tentatively opened the fridge, pouring fruit punch into each cup. "I'm gonna stay and help Carol study for our test in Williams' class. Is that okay?"

"Just keep the door cracked," Axel told him.

"We'll leave it open. I don't plan on makin' any moves with y'all here." He blushed and his eyes widened at his shitty wording. "No—not that I would make any moves with y'all gone. I just—I only meant—"

"It's all right." Axel chuckled at his stuttering, reminding him of the holes he dug when he and Dawn were young and sexually active. Her old man hated him. He still does. Fucking Gregory. "I know what you meant, and I meant the actual door you came through. The fan isn't working, and hot flashes apparently are killing her right now. I don't even know how bad they are, but after I found Lori and Karen buried under every blanket in our house, I've let Carol open her door for nature's air conditioning. Keep it cracked. The neighbor's dog wanders in if it's open too much, and I won't let Carol talk me into getting a dog and a grandson. It's not happening." He marched out before anyone could argue with him.

Daryl closed the lid to the fruit punch, not sure what to say.

"Buttons is a good girl, and she loves people, so she'll worm her way into anyone's house. She's gotten kicked out of only two, but one moved, and the other gave up on trying to keep her out. She'll likely stop by one of these days to say hi, so you'll get to meet her." She was tempted to write _what the hell?_ on this test paper, because what the actual hell? The answer was literally two questions above this one. It was her attempt to give them an easy exam. Either she really failed this student, or this student really failed himself.

"All right." He collected the cups and headed back downstairs to find Carol had changed into stretchy pants and a tank top, her door already cracked, and she was taking notes on the chapter. Or possibly doing the chapter questions. He wasn't sure. "Here."

"Thanks." She accepted the glass and sipped from it. "We have ten chapter questions that oughta help on the test, so do you want to do them first?"

"Sure." He placed his cup on the end stand and awkwardly looked around for a chair to pull up.

"It's okay for you to sit on my bed." She didn't look up from writing down the answer to the first question. She'd been hunting for it the entire time Daryl was upstairs and just now found it. This test was going to kill her. She could only imagine the end of course Sasha handed out. She shuddered to think of it. "It doesn't bite, and neither do I."

"Yeah, tell that to the bite marks you gave me back in June," was his nervous murmur.

She lifted her head now. "I didn't bite you. There were likely nail marks, but I did not bite. I could have nibbled, though."

"You sure it's all right?"

"Daryl, it's okay." She tried not to laugh. "Make yourself at home here. You'll be spending a lot of time here once our son is born, and you shouldn't feel the need to constantly ask about food or drinks or sitting down. Trust me, Michonne and Andrea walk in here, help themselves to chips and sodas and kick back upstairs to watch TV all the time."

"Yeah, but they're your friends. You've known 'em for years. You've only known me a couple months."

"Doesn't matter. You can still do here what you do at home, just don't touch any chocolate-covered orange slices or change the channel when golf is on. Those are Dad's. He'll kill you if you do either of those things." She smiled playfully at him. "And keep your hands off yourself. That'll get you killed too."

He blushed. "I wouldn't do that!"

"Well, it's not like I know what you do in your spare time."

"Not that!" He folded his arms over his chest.

"I was just joking. Don't take it so seriously." She felt bad about it. He looked really embarrassed and annoyed. Maybe she went too far. "I'm sorry."

"I wouldn't have to do that," he replied. "I could just call Paula."

She pursed her lips. "You aren't funny. You know how I feel about Paula."

"You just insinuated that I'd jack off in your house. I think you earned it."

She stuck her tongue out.

"Okay, seriously, one more time," he warned.

"That's not studying," Karen called from the top of the stairs, hearing them bickering. She hoped that got them back on track, because she needed a nap, and she didn't have to worry about them having a blowout fight. One little fight could lead to a massive one, and she didn't want to wake up to that. "Be nice!" Let me sleep in peace!

"Yes, Mom!" Carol crossed her legs underneath her. "Just sit down and help me answer number two, please."

He removed his boots and sat down at the foot of the bed, opposite of where Carol was sitting and opened his wellness book, taking out a notepad from Carol's backpack. He copied her answer for the first answer and looked for the answer to the second.

Carol peeked at him. "Have you ever—?"

"No." He didn't even glance at her.

"You don't even know what I was going to say."

He met her eyes. "I've never considered sleeping with Paula. She ain't my type."

"She's a redhead like me. She has light eyes like me. She—"

"She ain't you," he cut her off. "You're two very different people, and I don't know where she's been. I'm not too fond of her personality anyway, and all she wants is to be able to say she fucked me. No, thanks."

"Why would she want to be able to say that?"

"I don't know. I don't want to poke at her mind, either."

"So, she just zeroed you out as well, huh?" She pressed her pen down on the paper hard enough to push the tab in, but not enough to click it.

"Guess she did."

"Looks like we have that in common." She smiled a little. "Guess we both have something to look forward to in May."

"Aside from our son bein' four months old, you mean."

"Yeah."

There was a moment of silence and eye contact, Carol felt a blush rising on her neck, but she couldn't look away. He was able to part his gaze from hers, but he only scooted closer to her and pointed out a sentence. "This is number two's answer."

"Oh?"

"Have you thought of any names?" He moved onto the next question.

"Not really." She shrugged. "I guess, like Patrick? Or...Jamie?"

"We aren't namin' him Jamie. Patrick is all right, but not Jamie."

"Why not Jamie? Because it sounds like a girl's name?"

"I "dated" a Jamie, and she was a cunt. I'm not namin' my son Jamie."

"Okay, why don't you give me a list of girls you've "dated", so I don't accidentally pick one of them?"

"Just don't use Blake, Hunter, Jordan, Mason, Taylor, Jamie, Morgan, Jo, Addison, Alex...uhhh—"

"Okay, just stop." She moved back on the bed away from him and rested her chin on her knuckles, focusing on her work.

"You asked."

"I didn't expect it to jump to double digits that quick, and that's only the unisex names."

"You know I've been with a lot of girls."

"Yeah, knowing and hearing all of their names are two very different things." She sighed. "I don't want to talk about this."

"You know, firsts shouldn't matter. Everyone who came before you, I hardly remember. I was drunk and stupid, and their names and faces are blurs in my head. The ones I named? They tried to make something more of our relationship, but I don't do relationships. That's the only reason I remembered 'em."

She didn't look at him, because she didn't want him to know how upset those names had made her. "Whatever."

"There's been nobody since you," he told her. "You made me swear, remember?"

"It doesn't matter. Just study with me, okay? Silently."

"You're pissed because of girls I've slept with before I even knew who you were. That's ridiculous. I mean, we're not even dating. We're just havin' a kid together."

"Yeah, we're just having a kid together," she snapped her head up, irked. "But you were my first everything, and this is just another reminder that I was just another notch under your belt." She flew off the bed and into her bathroom.

"It's not like that." He tossed his book aside and followed her only to be met by a shut door. "You know it wasn't like that!"

"Save it for someone who believes that!"

"You should believe it! Everyone before you hit on me first. They sought me out, and we went from there. I went to you. I actually talked to you for hours. I've never done that before, you know! You're not another notch! I don't even have a belt!"

"You probably have five!"

"You're..." He held his tongue. She was five months pregnant. She was emotional. She was anxious and unsure of herself and their relationship. He couldn't get angry. She was under a lot of pressure, and he was too, but it was her body and her mind that were going through this. He just had his mind. _Okay, deep breath._

He knocked on the door a couple times. "Carol? I'm sorry, all right? I shouldn't have gone there. It doesn't matter who I was with back them 'cause now I'm with you. I'm here with you and our son, and that's all that matters to me. Everything I do, I do to make your and his lives easier. You know that. Nobody else matters. On the only list I have, you and him are number one. You gotta know that."

There was no reply or movement from inside.

"You have to just accept that I've been with other girls, but not like I've been with you. Everything we did was new for me, and it's still new for me. It's not a bad thing. There's no one else I'd rather endure this stress with, Carol. There's nobody else I'd rather...have a kid with."

The door creaked open and a puffy-eyed Carol was revealed to him, chewing on her bottom lip. She shook her head and walked into his arms, even though he hadn't offered her a hug and immediately tensed at the sudden contact. She buried her face in his chest and snuffled, and he tried to relax as much as he could.

"I'm sorry." She closed her eyes. "I must seem crazy."

"A little bit, but it's all right." He stroked her hair lightly, not sure if that was the right thing to do or not, but he'd seen guys do it to their girlfriends in the hallways at school.

"It's not all right. You didn't do anything, and I acted like such a jerk."

"I'm used to people..." He shook his head. "I know it upsets you, but you can't let it get to you like this. Everyone I've been with has moved on. It's just the past, Carol."

She swallowed. "I know. I'm sorry." She pulled back. "And don't say that."

"Don't say what?"

"That I'm the only one you want to have a kid with. You don't know what the future holds. You might meet someone in college. Or law school. Or somewhere." She wiped her eyes and inhaled to calm herself down. "You never know."

"But I know myself, and this isn't something I want to repeat." He stepped back. "This kid will be my first and last, and I'm okay with that."

She set her hands on her stomach. "What if I have another kid? With someone else?"

"As long as he's there for you and the kid, I got no problems." He shrugged and returned to the bed. "And if he's not? I'll be there for you three."

"You don't have to be."

"The kid's still part of you, which makes the kid part of our son, and I'll be there for that kid, too. If you want me, that is."

"Of course I'd want you."

"Then I'm there—after I kick his ass, of course."

"Why am I not surprised violence found its way into this conversation?" She climbed onto the bed.

"If some guy knocks you up then ditches you, he has a right to have his ass kicked. That's just how it is."

She rolled her eyes but smiled. "Okay, sure."

"Question three." Daryl removed his vest. "C'mon, I'd like to get this done before midnight."

"It's A," Carol remarked. "Next question."

"How do you know it's A?"

"It's right there." She reached over and pointed out the paragraph that confirmed the question answer was A.

"Oh." He nodded slightly. "Okay, question four."

"That I don't know."

They went back and forth answering questions until all ten were answered. Carol pulled out the study guide and reviewed it with Daryl, and just as they were about to quiz each other, Axel called down to let them know dinner was here. Daryl told her he'd just head home now, but Axel had other plans. He told Daryl to get his butt up there before his food got cold. Daryl was a little unsure, but Carol pulled him up the stairs behind her, and they joined Karen and Axel in the dining room, away from all homework, graded papers and work.

"I got us all the same thing, only I opted for steamed something for Carol instead of fries."

"I wanted a potato." Karen set a pitcher of tea down on the table.

He smirked and flicked open the plastic top, revealing a hearty steak and potato. "I know."

She smiled. "Thank you."

Carol and Daryl joined them then, Axel asked Carol to help him get some glasses for the tea, and Karen moved Carol's plate across from her and Daryl's to be beside her. She moved Axel's beside her and sat down, motioning for Daryl to do that same, and he did when Carol and Axel returned. Axel filled up the cups, Carol was a little upset to see she had steamed veggies instead of fries or a potato, but Daryl snuck her some of his, and she could have actually kissed him. They were so crunchy and yummy, and they hit her salt craving right on the head. Yum!

"So," Axel popped a huge piece of steak into his mouth and chewed to make Carol and Daryl both squirm at the prolonged silence following an attention-grabbing so. "Thanksgiving."

"What about it?" Carol dipped her broccoli in the steak sauce and chewed on it, wishing she had more fries, but Daryl had finished his last.

"We'll have it here as always," he continued. "Karen and I will be preparing the works—a turkey, a ham, stuffing, casseroles out the ass."

Karen just hoped he didn't try and make his "Thanksgiving casserole", because it was overkill. God, it took forever to prepare and to cook, and it was good, but it pretty much filled you up and made you never want Thanksgiving food again. It was just...overkill.

"Sounds delicious. I can't wait." Carol drank from her cup.

"And Grandma and Grandpa will be here." He studied her then Daryl. "And they don't know about the baby yet. I thought we'd just tell them together, and I don't know how Greg's gonna take it."

Carol's blood went cold. "Oh..."

"Mel pushed, saying she hadn't seen you girls since your graduation, and I caved. I doubt saying no would have kept her away anyhow." He shook his head. "They'll be here at dinnertime."

"Can I just hide in my room?"

"Carol," Karen reached over and grasped her hand, "it'll be okay. We're here for you, and... There's little point in hiding. She'll just hunt you down like a bloodhound."

She sighed. "Grandma does do that."

She rubbed her knuckles. "She loves you to death, and nothing will ever change that. It'll be okay."

She nodded. "Grandpa's gonna blow a gasket."

"He will." Axel looked at Daryl. "And he'll kill you."

Daryl paused in reaching for his drink. "Why?"

"He tried to kill me after I got Dawn pregnant," Axel answered. "It's just his thing. He's...an asshole."

"Do I have to be there?" Daryl cautiously asked.

"Yes, you have to be here." Karen released Carol's hand. "She needs your support, Daryl, and he'll want to meet the father of his great grandchild. He'll find you, even if you aren't here. It's best to have witnesses."

"Great." His brows rose briefly, and he scoffed. "Can't wait."

"Grandma will love you." Carol nudged him encouragingly. "She loves everybody, and she'll be happy to have you in our family. She always wanted a grandson, and now she's getting two."

He peeked at her. "In your family..."

"Yeah, in our family," Axel repeated. "We had this talk when she first got pregnant. You're in it for the long haul, and that means you're one of us. You may not have the name or marriage, but you're in this family as much as your son."

He smiled a little. He didn't expect to be so happy to hear those words. "Thanks."

"Yeah, just don't go givin' me a granddaughter anytime soon," Axel somewhat mused. He really didn't want them to mix again after this boy was born. That was the last thing he wanted. Two grandkids before he was fifty? Hell no. Fuck no. All the nos!

"I don't plan on it," Daryl assured him. "We ain't...ever gonna do this again."

"Good."

Carol glanced at her mom, who offered a small smile, and Carol dropped her hands to her lap. "I'm done eating. Could I be excused?"

"I picked up from ice cream. Do you want any of it?" Axel gestured vaguely towards the kitchen. "I even got some jelly beans and gummy bears."

"No, thanks. I'm full."

Axel's eyes fell to her half of steak and pile of carrots and broccoli. He'd seen her down an entire hamburger, milkshake, two plates of fries and then come home to snack on popcorn. It was odd. Had it been the conversation to upset her stomach? "Sure, kiddo. Just put your leftovers away, okay?"

"Thanks." She collected her remaining food and carried to the kitchen, placing it in the fridge and heading upstairs to the bathroom.

"So...which side is Greg from?" Daryl picked at the remaining food on his plate. "Yours? Or...Carol's Mom's?"

"Dawn's." Karen rested her hands in her lap. "Carol's mom. I swear Mel conceived Dawn entirely on her own, because she and Gregory are nothing alike. DNA proves me wrong, but still."

"He's a real hardass." Axel leaned back in his chair. "I know he won't take it well. That's why I need you here. Carol's gonna get upset, and I need you to take care of her."

"Why me?" Daryl's brows furrowed.

"Because I'll be trying to calm him down," Karen replied. "And I'll have to deal with Axel, too."

"Hey, you won't have to handle me," he grumbled.

"Yes, I will. Unless I spike my eggnog, which I just might do."

"Spike everything. It might just knock him on his ass, and we'll just pile him in the backseat and ship him out." Axel smirked bitterly.

"Axel, we aren't going to do that." She wasn't going to waste whiskey on Gregory. He didn't deserve it, not even the cheap shit. "We'll get drunk after he's gone. Hell, maybe Carol will want a glass of wine. She can have one glass."

"Yeah, maybe."

Daryl blinked at them. "You'd seriously let her drink? At seven months?"

"She'd be six and a half," Axel corrected. "And you don't understand how much of an ass this fucker is."

"I understand that I don't want my son to have any booze in his system before his twenty-first birthday," Daryl retorted. "And if Carol needs an outlet, give her something to hit or scream in to."

"Wow, look who's a little parent." Axel smirked. "I was kidding. I don't approve of underage drinking, or sex, but apparently both happened anyway, so."

"And it won't happen again," Daryl added. "The lesson was definitely learned."

"Doesn't change facts." He shook his head. "I'm not trying to bicker with you. I'm just...dreading this holiday. God, I can already hear the lectures."

"Sure seems like picking fights."

"I'm still not thrilled you and my sixteen-year-old daughter knocked boots at a high school party and got pregnant, so yeah, it's gonna be bitter. But I'm okay with you." He heaved a sigh. "I'm just glad we still have time to prepare for this lovely family meal. Time and whiskey. Right?"

"Yeah." Karen nodded. "Plenty of it." Or they would by the time she got home tomorrow.

"I'm gonna go downstairs and return to studyin' with Carol." Daryl stood up. "Thanks for the food."

"You're welcome, honey." Karen smiled. "You can put the leftovers in the fridge and take them home when you leave."

"Thanks." He walked out with the food in his hands.

"I still don't get what she saw in him." Axel watched the door Daryl just walked through. "Not that I mind. I just...don't understand."

"Who knows? Maybe it was a fate." She smirked at him. "Everything happens for a reason, you know."

"For you, maybe."

She narrowed her eyes. "For you, too. There's a lot that happened in your life that happened so we'd all be here together. I know it wasn't what you wanted or planned, but it is what it is, and you're happy with it. I know you are."

He smiled somberly. "I thought I'd be in this house with Dawn and Carol and two little hell raising boys. I thought you'd...come by for play dates and Sunday dinners. I never thought we'd end up here."

"It's not a bad place to end up, but...I know what you mean."

He reached over and held his hand out for hers, and she accepted it, sharing his sorrowful smile. "We should tell them."

"Not now. I think they have enough on their plate." She met his eyes. "We'll wait until their senior year."

"Are you sure you can keep it hidden until then?"

"I don't know. We'll see where it goes."

"Fair enough." He squeezed her hand. "Do you want to eat some ice cream with me?"

"There's nobody else I want to eat ice cream with." She beamed at him. "Let's go."

Downstairs Daryl gathered his things and grumbled to himself at how Axel was talking about him and Carol. He understood but still it got under his skin. He wished he could just let it go. It happened. They were going to be parents. That was it. Jesus, how long was he just going to hold it over Daryl's head? He regretted it. He wished he could take it back, but... But at the same time, he didn't. He really didn't want that—to take it back, to wish it away. He wanted nothing more than to just...be in this moment with Carol and his son, but life wouldn't let him rest, and he was...about to crash.

"You're leaving?" Carol stood on the steps. "We didn't get to finish the chapter questions."

"When's he gonna stop hatin' me?" he blurted.

"What?" She blinked, utterly confused. "Who?"

"Your dad. When is he gonna stop hatin' me for what I did? I get that it wasn't right. I get that I took advantage, and that we fucked up, but Christ, he doesn't have to lord it over me like he does."

She came off the steps. "I'm so lost."

"No, you're not. You know he fuckin' hates me for what I did. He'll pretend he doesn't so we can play this fucked up family, but he does. I know he does. I don't get why he has to pretend. It ain't for my sake. I don't want his false affection. I just want..." He tossed his backpack onto her couch with such force the couch shook. "Fuck if I know."

"Calm down." She approached him. "Dad doesn't hate you."

"He does hate me."

"He hates that we were stupid, but he doesn't by any means hate you. He respects you for stepping up to take care of the baby. He respects who you are as a person. He's...struggling with me more than you." She lowered her eyes. "I'm the one who changed overnight into someone he doesn't know, and he isn't sure how to handle it."

"What do you mean?"

"Daryl, I was the definition of a "goody-goody". I studied. I stayed in on Saturday nights. I watched movies with my dad and my mom on Saturday nights. I talked to them openly about everything. And then in one night, I broke every image they had of me. I lied to them. I drank. I had sex with a total stranger when I told them I wanted to wait until I was in love with somebody. I...just shook up their lives, and they don't know how to process it. Mom's just sweeping it under a rug, burying herself in other things, but she doesn't know how to handle me either." She crossed her arms. "It's not all you."

"You talked to them about sex?" he gaped at her.

"Well, yeah. We talked about protection and all of that good stuff. It used to be embarrassing but it had to be talked about, you know?" She studied him. "You...don't know?"

"Merle never talked to me about sex. Not...like educational or anythin'. He just threw some condoms at me and called it a day."

"That's all? No talk?"

"No, just told me to make sure I was safe to...avoid this." He pointed to her belly. He didn't use those words. They were a lot more harsh. "I figured it out myself. Wasn't hard."

"That sucks. I mean, didn't you have questions?"

"What questions?"

"I don't know. Guy...questions."

He snickered. "What are "guy questions"?"

"You tell me." She was blushing.

"What were some of your "girl questions?" He was teasing her now, and he knew she knew that. "Hmm?"

"Nothing you want to know, I'm positive." She let her hands fall to her sides and shrugged a shoulder. "All boring."

"What's boring?" He was actually curious now. What did Carol think about sex? Did she like it? Did she hate it? Was their first time even good for her? Or just...good for a first time? Huh. Now he had questions.

"What?" Carol stepped towards him. "You look interested in something."

"A bit." He felt his neck burning at how she was looking at him. "I... I got a question."

"Shoot. I'm all ears."

He inhaled. "Did...you like it?"

"What?" She cocked her head to the side. "Did I like what?"

His ears were burning now. "You know what."

"How could I possibly know what you're talking about?" She smiled innocently at him. "Just say what it is. Nobody's else is here, so don't be so shy."

He rolled his eyes. "You're a liar."

"What?" she scoffed lightly. "Now I'm a liar? I'm just confused by this, Daryl."

He narrowed his eyes and moved closer to her so they were only inches apart. He didn't want Axel to overhear and assume the worst—which he would—and he wanted to look up close in her eyes when she answered. She could hide things, but not this. He was...interested in the answer. Oddly enough. "That night...did you like it?"

"Like what exactly? The drinks? The party? The kisses?"

"The sex," he blurted without blushing. "Did you like having sex with me?"

"I thought you already had that answer. When you caught me outside that day—you seemed to have your own answer to that question."

"I don't want my answer. I want yours."

"Self-conscious?" she teased.

"Curious."

"Why now? Why do you all of a sudden want to know if I liked it?"

"'Cause we're talkin' about it, and it dawned on me that I want to know."

"Okay." She locked her gaze in his. "Truthfully...it was a lot."

"That's not an answer."

"Yes, it is." She bit her bottom lip and shifted her weight to her knee. "It was my first time, and it was a lot. It was all new to me. I went through the talk with my mom, and I've seen some stuff on TV, but it was just...a lot."

"How was it a lot?"

"Daryl, we...we were connected." She was blushing now. "I felt all of you against me and...in me, and it was amazing. You were so tender towards me. You brushed hair out of my face and kissed me. It...felt like it wasn't just about your pleasure. I felt...sexy and special, and that's why I didn't want to stop. You made me feel like I was the only girl in the world, and I...I'd never felt like that before, so I ate it up."

He averted his eyes.

"It's how we ended up here. I was like an abused cat being shown affection for the first time." She laughed nervously. "This is...stupid. Why am I saying this?" She shook her head.

"I don't usually do that," he murmured, and she peeked at him. "Focus on the girl. I...tend to keep it about me, 'cause I don't really care about them. They're just there, and they're...a release. But I knew it was your first time, and I wanted...to make it last with you. I wanted to be with you in that way for as long as I could... Dunno why."

She smiled a little. "Really?"

"Yeah. Must've been the beer, had me outta my head."

"Right, the beer." She still smiled at him. "Did you like it?"

"I told you that before."

"No, the asshole you're not told me before. I'm asking you."

"I didn't like it," he confessed. "I...I was hasty and shouldn't had made those moves."

"Oh." It was a disappointed sound.

"But I liked you," he murmured, "so it meant a lot to me."

"Don't you still?" She searched his eyes and saw something hiding there.

"Doesn't matter now. It's too mixed up." He moved away from her. "And I gotta get home. I gotta work tomorrow after school."

She nodded. "Okay."

He collected his backpack and padded up the stairs quicker than he normally did, and Carol hugged her arms. She exhaled deeply, feeling a small pain in her chest, and she didn't know what it was for. She tried to push it away, but it made itself apparent. She could only sigh at it and return to her study guide. She set a hand on her belly, stroking it, and she smiled down at her son before answering the next question.

– – –

"What do you mean?" Daryl stocked the shelves with the many sauces and pepper rubs they had just gotten on their truck.

"It's mandatory." Amaro put his hands on his hips. "You have to come to the party."

"That's bullshit." Daryl argued.

"It's holiday pay! And it's a party." Amaro shook his head. "Jesus, I'm paying you to have fun and to eat food. Are you sure you're a kid? You sound like an alien."

"I don't like parties. Or people. Or free food."

"Everybody loves free food." Caesar checked over the invoice. "Everybody."

"Not me. I just want to stay home and do my report on the Korean War."

"No way in hell am I letting you stay at home and do homework on Halloween." Amaro shook his head. "It's Halloween!"

"I get that. I helped set it up, remember? Can't you just holiday pay me for that?"

"No, because that was just you helping friends out." He crossed his arms. "It's time and a half."

"I feel like you're bribin' me." He glared at him over the hot sauce.

"I am, because you need to experience fun. You're only a teenager once, and you're about to become a father, Daryl. You won't have time for fun once the little guy's here." He studied the young man. "Carol's coming."

"So?"

"So? So? You don't even want to hang out with the mother of your child?"

"I can do that any day of the week."

Amaro heaved a massive sigh. "You know what? Forget it. No bonus, no time and a half. You just stay home and rot in your room. I give up."

Daryl felt guilty instantly at his words. "Why is it so important that I attend this party?"

"Because you never have come to my house the entire time you've worked here as a guest. You've come to work on decorations or pick up items you have mailed there, but never as a guest. I want you in my home as a friend, not an employee. And you should have some fun before your son is here. You and Carol both, and I think she'd have more fun with you there."

He did have a point. With her two friends dating and going to the party together, Carol would be left alone a lot. She didn't have any other friends who would want to sit and chill with her and their son, so she'd be all alone on Halloween, pregnant and dressed up. She was also prime bait for Paula, who of course, invited herself. He couldn't leave her to fend for herself, no matter how much he wanted to.

"All right, I'll go, but I ain't dressin' up."

Amaro grinned widely and cheered inside at finally breaking him down.

"It's a costume party. You have to dress up." Caesar argued. "Plus, it's Halloween, the come as you aren't night. You gotta dress up, man."

"I'd rather drink bleach."

Amaro pinched the bridge of his nose. "I'll take what I can get." He stepped back. "I have to meet with Ryan in thirty minutes. You two hold down the fort for me, all right?"

"Yes, sir," Daryl and Caesar said in unison.

He nodded and headed out through the back door.

"Do you know what Carol's gonna be?" Caesar rested his chin on his knuckles.

"No, we haven't talked about the party." He pulled down a sauce that would be killer on wings. Carol would like it. She had a taste for spicy things right now, and they could get some sour cream and french fries. She loved the curly ones. He'd have to pick some up on the way back home tonight. They could have it tomorrow. Well, after the party.

"Are you gonna make out with that bottle or what?" Caesar smirked at him. "You've been staring at it for ten minutes now."

"Just makin' sure it don't got anything in it that might make Carol sick. She's against tuna right now. And pears. And pickles, but she loves them too. She just says they taste like vapor rub."

"Eww." He still smirked. "You two seem pretty tight."

"We've been studyin' together a lot." He didn't notice the look Caesar gave him. "She's pretty...all right. I mean, I guess we're friends. It's...complicated."

"You always say that."

"Well, we're not just friends." He lifted his eyes. "We'll be never "just friends". We're gonna have a kid together. There's...a lot between us right now, and it's all muddled."

"What is?"

"Nothin' you'd care to hear about." He set the bottle down and reached down into the box to pull out another.

"If I didn't care, I wouldn't have asked."

"Why ask?"

"I already told you why months ago. I'm actually here for you, you know. I'm not gonna stab you in the back. We've been through a lot together here at the store and in the last few weeks. I thought we were actually becoming friends."

"Why do you want to be my friend so bad?"

"Because I care about you, and you need a friend. The entire time we've been in school together, you've been alone. You were an outsider. You brushed people off with words and glares and that fuck off attitude." He dropped his hand to the counter. "And I know how much it sucks to be alone, so I thought maybe we could be friends, and we wouldn't have to be alone."

"You have friends."

"Not that I can always talk to," he softly replied. "Not ones who'd understand..."

Daryl studied him. "What makes you think I'd understand? Or want to talk?"

"Because you've known me since we were in grade school. We've always been in the same class, and we've shared classes through high school. I feel like that...means something. Maybe I'm insane. Maybe I'm reaching, but I'd like to call you a friend and have that word have weight." He blew out a sigh. "And you need a friend who isn't the mother of your kid, all right? Trust me, you'll need someone to vent to."

"Fine."

Caesar blinked. "Wait, really?"

"If you want to be friends with me, fine. I don't really care. You're already...around, and apparently there ain't no beatin' you off with a stick. I'm tired of tryin'."

"Wow, thanks." He flatly stated, "This means so much."

"Best you're gonna get outta me." He grabbed the empty box. "And I ain't gonna dress up."

"Come on! It's Halloween!"

"That means nothin' to me."

"Once your son is here, it will. Halloween is the best holiday." He grinned. "Carol loves Halloween."

"Your point?"

"No reason. She just...might like it if you dress up, join in on the seasonal fun."

Daryl tossed the box at Caesar, who caught it. "I'm gonna step outside, get some air. Try not to burn the place down."

"All right, but think on it!"

Daryl rolled his eyes and headed outside to call Merle to let him know he had plans for tomorrow night. He hadn't seen much of his brother. He'd been busy with Carol and with work. He felt guilty for letting Merle slip through the cracks, but Merle could take care of himself. They both learned how to take care of themselves at a young age, thanks to that good for nothing waste of space old man of theirs.

" _Hey, stranger_ ," Merle greeted him on the phone.

"Ha ha." He dragged a hand through his hair. "So, about tomorrow night...I got plans. Boss wants me to help out at the stupid party, and it's extra pay."

" _Good_." Merle glanced around the room.

"I know we had plans—"

" _Don't worry about it. You need to keep savin'. Kid's gonna take it all anyhow._ "

"Merle—"

" _I gotta pick up an extra shift at work, too._ " He cleared his throat. " _I gotta shower and change. I'll see you when I see you._ "

"All right." Daryl felt his guilt increase.

Merle hung up and tossed the phone onto the couch, looking at the living room that was littered with planks of wood and tools. He rolled up his sleeve to get to work. He had never given Daryl a surprise before, so he might as well now. It might take longer, but it wasn't like he had anything else to do with his time.

– – –

"Are you ready yet?" Lori adjusted the headband and the ears attached. "We're gonna be late."

"It's not that kind of party." Karen held her adjust the ear. "It looks fine. You look cute."

"I was gonna go for gore, but I didn't want to wash all that fake blood off."

"The tub is still stained," Axel commented from the couch.

"If we bleach it anymore, it'll just fall to pieces." Karen joined him, helping herself to the bowl of candy he held in his lap. It was for the trick-or-treaters, but they could have a few Twix and Heath bars between now and then, and it wouldn't hurt them. They had four big bags, after all.

"Speaking of cute," Lori changed the subject, "what are you going as?"

Karen unwrapped the bite size milky way and checked her watch. "I actually have to go get changed, so why don't I show you?"

"Okay." She turned back to the basement door. "Come on, Carol!"

"I'm not going!" Carol finally called back.

"Like hell you're not," Lori muttered and walked downstairs to find her sister with teary eyes. Her heart dropped. "What's wrong?"

"What's wrong?" Carol held out the outfit she'd picked out for tonight. "I look like a swollen pimple."

"What? That's ridiculous. You look adorable. You're all plump and glowing." Lori smiled widely. "You're so cute."

"No." She shook her head. "I'm fat and a mess. My hair looks like bats could fly out of it any second now, and... I'm not going."

"Carol, you look great. You're pregnant, not fat, and we all know that."

"That doesn't make it any better."

"Sweetie, we picked out this outfit just for you." Lori grasped her hands and bent down to be at eye level. "It's super cute, and it's perfect. It's not gory. It's not trying to hide the baby. It's pretty much saying 'I'm pregnant, deal with it, I'm fucking cute'."

Carol swallowed, a tear rolling down her cheek. "Only you guys are gonna think that."

"If anybody says otherwise, Michonne and Andrea and I will beat them down. I have pudding filled balloons just for that purpose." She smiled and stood up. "Now get changed. I'll do your makeup."

Carol smiled a little. "Okay."

"Rick's gonna drive us there." Lori dug through Carol's makeup, and she didn't see Carol's smile fall. "Michonne and Andrea will meet us there."

"You talked to them?" She changed into the costume her friends had chosen for her when she was at her doctor's appointment. She felt guilty for not inviting Daryl, as he wanted to go, but she wasn't ready for that. She had agreed, but again—she wasn't ready. It might take more time for her to get ready, and their son might be here before then. She wasn't comfortable enough with Daryl for that yet. They were friends, but they had a complicated relationship. She wanted to be supportive of him stepping into his father role, and she was, but this was her body the baby was in right now, and the appointments were personal. Daryl kept a wall up around his personal everything, but he expected her to just let him into hers?

"Hey, girls," Axel shouted from the couch, "Rick's here!"

"Shit. We need to hurry."

Carol tried to say she didn't need makeup, but Lori already had her mind made up. Carol was wearing makeup, and Carol was wearing this costume, and they were going to have a blast tonight. Carol threw her coat on over her costume, and Lori assured Axel she'd been in all night, that she wouldn't need a coat, and she fled before he could say anything more. Carol hugged him goodbye and followed after Lori, careful not to step on her tail.

"Weird." Axel set the bowl of candy on the coffee table and heard heels on the steps. "Whoa."

Karen was beautiful. She wore a gown from the 18th century, and it accentuated her figure. The light sliver tone brought up the lovely tone of her skin, the light ivory seem to make her eyes look darker and deeper, and it was just...stunning. She was stunning. She'd done her hair and makeup, and she was a knockout.

"Is that a good whoa?" Karen smirked.

"Yeah, it's a great whoa." He grinned. "You're gonna steals some hearts tonight."

"Shut up." She lightly hit him. "They're ten year olds."

"Doesn't meant they won't crush on you."

She rolled her eyes. "Where are the girls?"

"They just left."

"What? I thought Lori wanted to see my costume."

"Yeah, she did, but evidently she wanted to be at the party a little more." He shrugged. "It's her loss."

Karen crossed her arms. "How did Carol look?"

"Like I wanted to give her cookies and apple juice." He lost his smile and teasing. "She'd been crying. I could tell by her eyes."

Her heart fell. "What happened?"

"Remembering how Dawn was, I'd say the weight and the bump are bothering her now."

"She's hardly gained any weight. Her bump is adorable."

"She's just a teenager. She's always had self-esteem issues."

"That's true." She sighed. "Maybe I'll stop by the party after I finish up with the kids."

"Oh, so you'll go for Carol, but not for me?"

"She's our daughter, and you'll survive. She might not."

"I was kidding, but you're right. If you stop by, let me know. I can take pointers from any pep talk you give her."

"I think you're a better pep talker than you give yourself credit for."

He shook his head, his lips curved downward. "No."

"I don't have time to argue this with you, but you are. I have to go pick up my little munchkins." She collected her purse. "Make sure you give out the gummy candy. If we have leftovers, I want it to be chocolate."

"I've been chewing on a gummy eye for the past hour now. I want them going, going, gone."

She chuckled. "Have fun tonight."

"You too." He smiled at her. "You look amazing."

"So will you." She left the house.

Axel dropped his gaze to the bowl of candy. He had three hours till he had to be at the Martinez estate to make nice and be charming. He might as well just change now, so he could appear festive. He did enjoy Halloween. He just enjoyed it more when he and Dawn bought a butt load of baby costumes for Carol and tried each and every one of them out on her. It was the best Halloween of his life. He wished Dawn could see Carol now, motivate her through this rough time and be there beside her through her pregnancy. But if wishes were poppy, they'd all be dreaming, now wouldn't they?

He rubbed the back of his neck and made his way upstairs to cloth himself in the pirate costume Karen had picked out for him. He, of course, would add a splash of blood, some guts and then possibly apply some type of gag, like something to rip out of his belly or shoulder. He did have the bird that came with the costume. Hmm...

––

The party didn't even start until six, but the house was already packed with high schoolers. It felt like the every high school student in the entire state of Georgia had come to this house, but it was more than spacious enough for them and the adults upstairs. And it was amazingly decorated. From the Halloweentown display in the den to the Nightmare on Elm street scenery in the garden, it was freaking cool as shit. It was all out with everything—snacks, a dj, balloons, gift bags, drinks—and they knew it was going to be an epic night.

Lori was all dolled up a kitty cat with a sheriff boyfriend, Rick Grimes. They were pretty cute, and Rick even complimented Carol's costume. She knew he was just being nice, and Lori likely told him to say that, but it was still sweet. It didn't make up for the fact that they ditched her the second they entered the Martinez house. Lori led him to Shane and didn't even bother letting Carol know they weren't coming back.

So there she stood, feeling like an idiot among teenagers, and she felt all eyes on her. She had worn a mummy costume. She had white torn pants, a tank top with slashes on the belly and a cardigan with slashes on the sleeves. It was comfortable as hell—when she was at home—but awkward and attention grabbing. It didn't help that Lori had drawn eyes and a blue tie through the holes on her belly to make it look like her baby was watching everyone.

She felt like everyone was whispering about her, and her skin began to crawl. She hugged her arms and was about to throw her coat back on when Andrea came over to her. "Thank God."

"Oh, my God, it's even cuter than I thought!" Andrea set her hands on Carol's belly. "Aww."

Carol blushed. "Thanks."

"Looking hot." Michonne joined them. "I love it."

Carol didn't like the attention, though. "What are you guys?"

"I'm Xena Warrior Princess," Michonne answered, working the replica outfit her mom had done a killer job on. It was longer than Xena's—obviously, her mom made it—and there wasn't as much cleavage, but it was still awesome. And so comfy. "And she's Gabrielle."

Andrea whipped out her sias and posed. "I went with the final Gabby outfit since red is more my color." She didn't have the abs for it, but hey, who did at her age?

"You guys look great." Carol smiled.

"You all do." Caesar greeted them with a grin. "You have to get your picture taken."

"What? No!" Carol murmured as Andrea and Michonne said, "Yes!"

He chuckled. "What do you think?"

"I think leather agrees with you." Andrea noted at his outfit.

"It's not real." He showed off his costume nevertheless. He looked like an old-fashioned vampire, red ring and bling and all. He looked cool with the glowing orange contacts, and he even used some of his dad's aftershave, which smelled like flowers and spice. It was weird, but it worked with the outfit. He felt like a powerful vampire from the 19th century or some shit. "But thanks."

"Did you come with anybody?" Michonne inquired.

"No. I'm not...in a place to date. I got a lot on my mind with school and my future." One of his dad's talks was really getting to him. "Dating's nice, but I gotta figure my shit out first."

"Same." Andrea nodded. "That's why I didn't date until now. I...spent so much time wrestling with my sexuality and my feelings and how the world would take it—I just kept to myself. It was easier, but once you figure it out, it's...great." She shared a look with Michonne and laced her fingers through hers.

"My issues don't involve all of that, but thanks for the pep talk. It really means a lot."

"Just let me know if you want a date. My sister loves play dates," Andrea teased. "And ice cream. You could take her out as a favor to me. Nothing romantic, though. She's only thirteen."

"Uhhh, no thanks. I'll just find my own girlfriend when I'm ready."

"I said nothing romantic."

"And I meant ready as in once I'm done figuring myself out." He shook his head. "I'm gonna get something to drink. This conversation just took a weird turn, and yeah." He walked away.

"I was kidding." Andrea pursed her lips.

"You don't kid about that kind of stuff, sweetie." Michonne poked her stomach. "And I'm sure he still has a crush on someone else."

"Who?"

"I'm not telling you. You have a big mouth." She guided her out of the doorway. "Besides there are other things we need to talk about and do."

"Like find Carol." Andrea just realized she wasn't beside them. "Where did she go? And when did she go?"

"I don't know." Michonne scanned the area. "That's weird. She doesn't usually walk off on her own."

"Especially at a party full of strangers. She already has anxiety over her baby body." Andrea spun around to try and find a white dot among the crowd of witches, Greek goddesses, evil queens and Deadpools. "Carol?"

"She couldn't hear you over this music." Michonne grasped her hand. "We oughta find her."

"Yeah. Um, you take this room and the Halloween room. I'll take Halloweentown and Hocus Pocus."

"Okay, after we find her, we are going to that room."

"I know, right? There's even a book replica. I think it's a cake, but I don't know. I've only heard rumors."

"Man, to be rich and well educated in Halloween movies." She could only daydream about it for now. "We'll meet back here in twenty minutes?"

"Yeah."

They parted ways and weaved through the crowds to look for their friend in their assigned rooms.

––

Daryl entered the house and was immediately asked for his coat. He declined and ran his eyes over the mass of people in the house. He heaved a long, agonized groan and ventured on to find Amaro, prove he came, take some food and leave. Amaro said he only had to come, not party and enjoy himself. Or did he? Daryl blocked him out after the seventh argument of him coming to this party. It was rude, but he was sick to death of hearing why he should come or why he _had_ to come. It didn't appear to be that necessary.

The place was filled to the brim with people, and they would hardly notice if he was even here. Honestly, it was nice to be thought of, but Jesus, he wasn't a people person. That was why he worked in the back of the shop and why he dealt more with the food products and shipments. He didn't do the whole talking thing. He spoke to the delivery guys now and then, but it was shop talk. He didn't do talk...talk. It was too stressful, and he felt judgement nobody had the right to assign. Hell, there was only one person he didn't mind talking to.

His eyes fell on Paula, and he was tempted to drown himself in fruit punch. Especially when she saw him and started to come over.

"Hey, handsome." She wore a tight red crop top and a short leather skirt. "A biker? I like it."

"These are just my clothes," he flatly stated.

"Then take them off and show me something I haven't seen," she suggested.

"I'd rather jump into a fire pit."

She rolled her eyes at him. "Why are you even here? I thought you avoided social interaction."

"I do. I just came to see my boss and leave."

"Or are you worried your little Carol poo is making moves on a certain coworker of yours?" She batted her eyelashes at him. "Are you in love with her, or what?"

"Why do you care?"

"Because I care about you." She set her hand on his chest. "I could change your life."

"My life has enough change in it."

"I don't mean pooping, screaming, pissing change. I mean the best kind of change." She let her hand fall down his chest towards his crotch. "I can make you feel like a damn king." She moved to kiss him.

He caught her wrist, gently pulling it away from him, and at that touch, she jolted back away from him. "Take no for an answer."

"Why should I?"

"Because you're only gonna get hurt."

"Why care about my feelings if you don't feel something for me?"

A mass of people blew through the room, screaming and howling laughter as someone wore Micheal Myer's mask from the Halloween room, chasing people with a fake bloody knife, and Paula was shoved into Daryl, who slammed into a wall with both of their weight. He wince, Paula's chin stabbed his chest, and he was ready to just leave. Paula rested her head on his chest, and he wondered how rude it would be to toss her into the running crowd. He wouldn't, but he could imagine.

"You wouldn't have to be alone." She set her hand on his chest and peered up at him. "I would just be yours."

"For fuck's sake, take no for an answer and leave me alone."

"What does she have that I don't? What made her stand out to you?"

He grasped her shoulders and turned so they were both out of the way of the crowd. "There's nothin' you could do that'd make me like you like I like her, all right? Accept that."

She threw herself into his arms, tightly holding onto him, and she kissed him. It didn't last long, and he shoved her away this time instead of being gentle. He glared at her and pushed by her on his way out of the house. She swallowed and looked at his back until he fell out of sight, and her eyes burned. She was about to go after him when she spotted Carol wandering around the party looking all precious and pregnant, and she decided to go after her instead.

Carol finally made her to indoor patio. Every other spot in the house was occupied with people or food or themes, but this room was untouched. It was really nice, so it was odd that it wasn't decked out in Halloween décor. The floor-to-ceiling window provided soft light from the moon, there were plants everywhere, and it felt as though they were calming her frayed nerves. The soft grays and white of the walls matched the almost silver furniture and wooden chairs. She'd love to have coffee and tea and read books in here all day. It was so nice.

She minded the marble-top coffee table and picked at her thumbnail, watching the night sky.

"Hey."

She spun around to find Caesar in the doorway, peeking in on her with a gentle smile on his lips. "Hi."

"We were looking for you. You up and vanished on us." He entered the room slowly, trying to figure out her mood.

"I'm surprised you noticed at all." She turned her eyes towards the window.

"Of course we noticed."

"Lori didn't notice. Michonne and Andrea didn't notice. So...why should anybody else?"

"Notice what?" He frowned and approached her, sensing that she needed consoling. "What's wrong?"

Teary eyes met his. "I don't want to be here."

"Did something happen? Was somebody rude to you? I can throw them out."

"Nobody has to say anything to me. They don't have too. I mean, they're all staring at me." Tears fell from her eyes. "I'm this fat white target, so it's not like I'm hard to spot! They're all talking about me."

"Nobody's talking about you."

"Yes, they are. I'm the idiot who had sex at one party and showed up to another with the evidence peeking out from her shirt." She snuffled. "Of course they'd ridicule and bad mouth me."

"You're overthinking this."

"Everyone I thought I could turn to has someone else. Lori has Rick. Andrea has Michonne. Michonne has Andrea. You have about a million friends. Daryl isn't even here. And why would Shane want to be seen with me?"

"Daryl is here. He's stewing in the garden. It's been a rough night for him too." He tried to catch her eye, but she wouldn't have it. "And hey, you're not fat. You're pregnant. You look great for how pregnant you are."

"I'm a planet."

"No, you're not. You're beautiful. You're funny. You're smart."

"I'm pathetic." She was crying harder.

"No, no, you're not. Don't beat yourself up with lies. You're not anything but you, and I love you. You're awesome. You're the best friend I've ever had, and I'm glad and proud to call you my friend. You're not an embarrassment. You're not fat. You're you, and you're the best. I can't tell you how much you mean to your friends, because you should know they love you to death. They're super worried about you right now, and they're searching through the house room by room to find you."

She dared a glance at him.

"I don't know what's up with Lori and Rick, but if they make you feel small and pathetic then fuck them. You still have Michonne and Andrea, even if they are dating, and you've always got me." He set a hand on her shoulder, squeezing it affectionately. "I'll pep talk you into oblivion."

She smiled a little at him.

"Don't let eyes and whispering bring you down. I know you'll do awesome things with your life, and hell, you'll do it with a baby in tow. You'll show all of them how incredible you are, how you beat every box people are gonna put you in, and they can suck it." He beamed at her. "You...seriously are awesome and beautiful and kind. Compassion makes up every ounce of you, and that's so rare, especially for a teenager. You have goals and drive, and that's rubbing off on me. You're making me think about my life and shit I want to get done. You're that amazing. You're inspiring. And I'm not just saying this to say it. You are. I'm...stunned by you. One hundred percent."

"Caesar..."

He locked his eyes in hers. "The world will always try and knock you down, don't knock yourself down. You look so cute tonight, and you'll look cute tomorrow night and every night. Please, don't beat yourself up over the beautiful life growing inside you." She felt the baby stir as Caesar neared. "Okay? Promise me that."

"I promise."

He swallowed. "I love you, Carol, and I always have your back, no matter what life throws at you. Call me tomorrow or in five, ten years, and I'll be there for you both."

She reached up and grasped the hand that was on her shoulder. She saw such raw honesty and affection in his glossy eyes, and she felt better than she had all night. He had done that. "Caesar." She blinked back more tears, and he moved in, his arm wrapping around her back. Carol closed her eyes, pushing up on the tips of her toes and kissing him.

Paula gasped from the doorway and backed up, smiling at her luck and hurrying off to the garden to find Daryl. She'd come to have a go at Carol, but this was so much better.

Caesar instantly froze, his eyes widening at the unexpected contact to Carol's mouth, and he couldn't move away. It wasn't exactly a passionate kiss, a swell of emotions or confession type of kiss. He knew exactly what it was and the cause of it, so he didn't want to be the one to break it. It might make things worse, so he just...was there for her in this way until she came to her senses.

She pulled back and opened her eyes, instantly mirroring his reaction from the second her lips met his. She slapped a hand over her mouth, stepping back, shaking her head. "No, no, no."

"Hey, hey, it's cool." He held his hands up to try and calm her down. "Don't panic. We're okay."

"I didn't—I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to—God, I'm so stupid!"

"Don't do that! You're not stupid!" he shouted at her as the music in the next room got louder. "You're not!"

"Please don't hate me." She backed into a window.

"Hey, I couldn't, all right? You're like my sister, so that was weird, but it's all good." He caught her shoulders. "Don't cry. It's okay."

She met his eyes. "Really?"

"Really." He steadied her and released his grip on her. "Look, just...get some air and calm down. I'll make some hot chocolate, and we'll crash in my room with Halloween movies. I bet Michonne and Andrea would like that, too."

"You'd really want to do that? It's your party."

"It's my dad's party, and honestly, as much as I love Halloween, I don't love all these people in my house. I don't even know half of them." He ran a hand through his hair. "So, Halloween movies and chill?"

She giggled. "Only if that actually means chill."

"That's the only way I'd mean it with you. You're pretty much family to me."

"Then I'd love to."

"Get some air, though, first. I'll have to fight my way into the kitchen." He paused. "Or we can use the guest house. It has a theater with couches so fucking comfortable you'll want to steal them."

"A guest house? God, dude, you live in a whole other world."

"Meet me outside in ten minutes. I'm gonna get the key." He grinned. "And your friends."

"Okay." She nodded. "And I'm sorry about kissing you. I just..." She finished with a weak shrug.

"I get it. Don't worry about it."

He bounced out of the room to find his father and her friends, and Carol slipped outside to get some air. She spotted the guest house instantly and headed towards it. She might as well meet him there, and it wasn't too cold out. She could stand being there for a couple minutes.

As she trudged through the damp grass, she could no longer hear the blasting music and instead picked up on voices. They weren't pleasant tones, and she was curious. She rounded the corner of hedges and spotted Daryl and Paula in the middle of a fight, and she could only stare.

"She'll never care about you!" Paula spat. "Nobody else will. Not like me!"

"Why the fuck are you so concerned about me?" he shouted. "Get the fuck off my dick and leave me alone!"

"I'm concerned," she lowered her voice, chest rising and falling rapidly from the flush of anger and emotion, her eyes in his, "because I'm in love with you."

That floored him. "What?"

"We've been in school together since fifth grade. You transferred into my school, and you were this aloof loner. I was a sixth grader, and I tried to talk to you, but you kept brushing me off. Only I didn't stop trying. I tried to stop caring, but I couldn't. I just fell in love with you." She was shaking from her confession, shaking from the cold and her tears, and she felt...free. After all this time, she could lay the truth out. "This is my last year at that school, my last year to see you every day, so please don't just brush me off. I love you, Daryl. I really do, so please, please think about us."

"I can't think about us," he remarked. "I have to think about my son. His future. His well-being."

"I can think about him, too. I have a job, too. I can help you take care of him."

"That's not your job. It's Carol's."

She whimpered. "Why is she so special to you? I don't understand."

"That makes two of us," he confessed. "I don't know why, but she is, so I'm sorry. I can't return your feelings, and I never will be able to. My only love is my son. That's just how it is."

"And what I told you?"

"I'll hear her side and his. If there is more to it then we'll work through it, but I gotta put my son first. Getting pissed off and raising hell won't solve shit, so I gotta keep my level head and get the facts."

She snuffled. "Okay."

He eyed her. "Okay?"

"What else am I supposed to say? I'm out of tries. I love you, but you only love your son. And probably Carol, so I'm done. I've tried every way I can think to try and have a relationship with you, but it's not in the cards, and as much as it hurts, I need to just move on. I'm graduating this year after all, so who knows? Maybe I'll find someone better than you in college."

"Won't be hard," he muttered.

She inhaled. "She's lucky to have you. I hate her for that."

"Don't blame her."

"I'm not, but I can hate her until I'm over you." She stepped back. "I hope you don't regret this."

"Is that a threat?" He narrowed his eyes. "Because if you do anything to Carol, or do anything to risk my son..." He didn't have to finish. She knew. He knew she knew. He felt the anger boiling up inside of him at the thought of anything happening to them ooze off him in waves, and she stepped back.

"No. I'm done ruining Carol's life. It was just a way to channel jealousy. I'm just being heartbroken." She turned on her heel and ran off.

Daryl blew out a sigh and wanted this night to be over.

"Rough night?" Carol joined him.

"Yeah, it's sucked."

"Mine too."

His eyes fell on her outfit, bringing the first smile to his lips since he woke up this morning. "You look...adorable."

She laughed. "Thanks."

"But also stupid." He removed his jacket. "You need to stay warm. It's fuckin' fall, woman."

Her eyes drank in his face when he drew close to wrap his jacket around her shoulders, and she smiled. "Thank you."

"You're shakin'." He rubbed her arms. "Might as well be naked."

"Not at this party." She reached out and grasped his shirt, pulling him closer. "Here, lend me your body heat. Caesar oughta be here soon."

His arms moved around her back out at the movement, she rested her head on his chest, and he just kept his arms there awkwardly. "Caesar, huh?"

"The five of us are gonna watch movies."

"Five of us?"

"You, me, Andrea, Michonne and him. I know you hate this party as much as I do, so I've invited you to the movies."

"Did he invite me?"

"I invited you, so what does it matter?"

He rubbed his thumb across the back of his coat, pursing his lips. "I have a question."

She closed her eyes and tightened her grip on his shirt nervously. "Ask."

"Do you like hot wings?"

Her eyes flew up in utter surprise. "What?" She looked at him.

"Well, we got in some new wing sauces at the shop, and I wanna try 'em. Merle don't taste shit, so I was wonderin' if you'd like to have some wings with me."

She giggled. "Daryl, I'm down for any meat."

"Yeah?"

"Yes." She nodded, and with him added, "Just not tuna."

He smirked. "I remember."

"Hey!" Andrea called. "We stole all the stuffed shrimp and mushrooms. Come help us carry them in!"

Carol laughed at that announcement, Daryl's stomach suddenly reminded him he hadn't eaten since lunch, and Caesar came out with keys and arms loaded with shrimp platters. They leaned them a hand with the food, Michonne busted out the drinks the mixologist prepared for them, and Caesar set up a table between the four navy blue couches in the theater room. Michonne and Andrea cuddled up with a blanket and a plate of food, Caesar and his housekeeper's corgi curled up with a blanket, dog biscuits and food in front of where Andrea and Michonne were, and beside Andrea and Michonne were Carol and Daryl. They were sharing a blanket since Caesar only had "three" and the heat took a moment to kick on, and the opening scene of Hocus Pocus began.

Carol still wore his jacket, munching on the crunchy and warm popcorn shrimp, and Daryl sucked down the delicious fruit drink thing handed to him. Carol glanced over at him, and she told him what had happened between her and Caesar in the indoor patio in a whisper so only he'd hear.

"I know. Paula told me." He kept his voice low, though Andrea and Michonne were busy whispering to each other, and Caesar was trying to show the movie to the corgi on his lap. "It's all right."

"Is it?"

He nodded. He understood vulnerability. He knew Carol was going through lot, and it wasn't just her body changing, making room and growing life. It was her mind, too. She, like him, had anxiety and convinced herself people were gossiping about her and trash talking her, and he'd seen it happen at school. He knew sooner or later it'd get to be too much, and while he wished he could have been there, it would seem Caesar knew best. He was glad she wasn't alone, and he knew that kiss meant nothing. He trusted Caesar to keep his word about not being with Carol in any other way then friendly, and he trusted Carol. It didn't mean anything, just that...maybe he needed to help Carol with her confidence with the remainder of her pregnancy and after.

He grasped her hand, despite the greasy feel from the popcorn chicken and gripped it. "Just don't make a habit of it," he mused.

She chuckled softly. "I won't."

Caesar smirked to himself and stroked Butter's back. "This party was definitely a success, wouldn't you agree?" He gave him a treat. "I knew you would."

" _Sisters! Sing!_ "


	12. Happy? Holidays?

**_Disclaimer: I own nothing._**

– – –

"I can't believe this semester is almost over." Karen was reviewing her calendar. "It just flew by."

"It's a blessing." Lori worked on her third period homework. "And Carol's about to bust."

"I'm surprised you even noticed I existed," Carol muttered under her breath.

"What was that?" Lori lifted her head. "Did you say something?"

"Nope." Carol closed her wellness book. "I'm gonna head to the parking lot."

"I'm not ready to go just yet." Karen crossed a date out. "And you're not waiting in the cold."

She groaned. "It's Thanksgiving break starting today, and we're wasting precious time here. Here! At school! I should be at home in my jammies, eating pasta on mashed potatoes." God, it sounded like heaven.

"I should be at Rick's doing this homework," Lori stated. "Actually, I shouldn't be doing homework at all. Thanks a lot, Greene!"

Karen lifted her eyes. "It's extra credit."

"Still. I didn't ask for it."

"You need to bring your average up."

"I'm doing it. I'm writing. I'm cutting into precious vacation time, and my soul is dying because of that, but I'm doing it."

"If you get it done now, we'll throw that book in your locker and be done with it."

"That's true." She straightened up and focused on the essay questions.

"By the way," Karen shifted her gaze to her other daughter, "since your appointment is next week, do you want to invite Daryl?"

"Ummm, I don't know." She did know. It was no. She didn't want to invite him. "I'll let you know when I sort it out."

"All right, but you only have a few more left before he's here."

"And you don't even have a name picked out yet," Lori tossed in.

"Daryl and I will talk about that on Thanksgiving, all right? It's our decision."

"Keep us informed at least. I'd like to know if I should make banners for the shower. I don't like the name Tony or Brian, okay?"

"Your opinion doesn't matter," Carol politely informed her. _And you've been ditching me and our friends for weeks now, so fuck off._ "I'll name my son what feels right."

"Tony Dixon sounds awful, just throwing that out there."

"We haven't decided on last names either."

"Of course it'll be Dixon," Karen remarked. "It's his son."

"He's my son too." Carol felt offended. "And I might name him Callies, like me."

"All right. Fair points. I'll let you two decide, just don't name him something random, or a spice. I refuse to call my grandbaby Sage. Or Chutney."

"I kind of like Sage," Lori uttered.

"I do too now that I said that." She shut down her computer. "All right, let's go home. I'm sick of staring at this screen."

"Wait, wait. I'm almost done with the last question."

They waited for Lori to finish up her homework then drove home. Lori instantly called Rick to see if he had any plans for their long weekend, and Carol readied a bath. Karen was on the phone with Tyreese, discussing the hell that would become their house on Thanksgiving, and she was glad to have someone to vent. He was seriously the best.

This half of the school year was almost gone. She was going on seven months pregnant. Her grandparents were about to find out about her baby and Daryl. She was going to be in the final trimester of her pregnancy and would soon give birth to her son. She didn't have anything she needed. She had money saved from the summer, but she hadn't actually gone out to look for things. She had to resist, because she wanted to buy every cute little thing she saw, and she would basically end up with a room filled to the brim with clothes he'd likely outgrow in a week. So she was waiting on that. She had a shopping list of all the things she needed. She just...didn't know if Daryl was going to help her buy some, or what his plans were. They needed to talk about it. Seriously.

They hadn't even chosen a name for the baby yet. Carol looked at her belly and hummed softly. "What are we going to name you?" She didn't want to name him after any food or spice. She wanted it to special, to have meaning. She just didn't know what kind of name held meaning. She wasn't good at naming things, mostly school projects that sounded like a ten-year-old's bad pun, and she highly doubted Daryl had any good names. He didn't even want kids. She did, and she had no flipping clue what she wanted to name this bundle of life currently pressing against her bladder.

"You know," she grumbled, going over to the toilet, "keep it up, and I'll only buy you bladder toys. See how much you like it then."

She rested her forehead in her palm and closed her eyes. She wasn't ready to think about labor. She still hadn't properly apologized to her mom about their fight at the ice cream shop. She didn't want to mention it, because of what Lori told her. And speaking of that, Lori and she hadn't talked about their argument either. She was getting really rude and forgetful lately. Geesh. She needed to talk to them. They were busy tonight, so she would do it tomorrow. They would be beginning Thanksgiving prep, so it'd be a good time. Dad would be at work and buying any last minute items—whiskey—and Mom would be calling up her side of the family for old recipes she forgot but really wanted to make, and Lori would likely have Rick on the phone all day, not really helping.

"Number one or number two?" called a voice from the other side of the door.

Carol wanted to lock the door. "One."

"Cool." Lori opened the door and walked in. "I need to talk to you."

"What about?" Carol raised her head to look at her sister.

"So, I've pretty much been dating Rick for almost five months," she explained. "And I really care about him. He's...so adorable and sweet, and we really click. I mean...there are some moments where he just doesn't talk, but I think he'll grow out of it."

"Maybe." She still didn't know Rick very well.

"Well, I've talked to Mom recently about birth control," she blurted. "I want to be with Rick in every way, and I'm ready. I just wanted to talk to you about it. I mean, you had sex first, and I want your opinion, because you're my sister, and you know me better than anybody."

Her jaw nearly hit the floor. "You're asking me about sex? While I'm on the toilet?"

"I can wait until you're done. I wanted to get it out there."

"I just want to take a bath and relax. My feet hurt, my back is killing me, and the cause of this was sex."

"Unprotected sex," Lori corrected. "I intend to use birth control and condoms. I'm not stupid."

"And I was?"

"You were...overwhelmed. Daryl was your first everything, and I don't blame you. I think it was just how things were meant to be for you."

"What does that mean?"

"Come on, you've changed big time. It's all good, though. You still have a lot to work through, but once the baby's here, you'll be ready for it." She smiled at her. "You really have started to bloom since the whole pregnancy."

She blinked. "I don't...even know what to say to that."

"Just take your bath. I'll make some tea in a bit, and we'll talk. I got some really good lemon tea, and it'll make you so relaxed your back pain won't exist anymore."

"I hope so."

"It will, and I kind of owe it to you. You getting pregnant has made my life a little easier." She laced her fingers together. "I mean, all expectations have dropped really. Mom is already booking an appointment to get me on birth control, and I'm pretty sure Dad just went to buy me condoms." She gave a laugh.

"So my getting pregnant has made a path for you to have sex?"

"No. I mean, yes, but no. It's made a path for me to explore things with Rick and with myself." She moved hair out of face. "It made me realize no matter how much I love Rick and how...intense things between us get, I want to do more in the future. I want to find myself before I settle down and have babies and a husband. I'm focused. I don't want to make any mistakes and end up...trapped here."

"And I'm trapped here?" Carol frowned.

"Well...I don't know. I can't say if you are or aren't. You have a lot of drive, and you're really smart. I know you'll do whatever you put your mind to, but you'll have a baby and Daryl in tow for the rest of your life. You know how restraining that's going to be, right? I mean, you knew that before I said anything."

"Daryl and I aren't together. I'm not tied to him."

"Well, through the baby you will be. I mean, he's Daddy Daryl now, and he'll want to be close to his son. If you move out of state or he moves out of state, custody might become a challenge, and I know you want to leave Georgia one day, so you might want to keep that mind."

"He wouldn't try and take our son away from me."

"Courts tend to favor the mother," Lori nodded. "And I don't know Daryl, so I can't agree or disagree with you, but um, if you feel he won't then...sure."

"Look, I just want my nice, quiet bath. I don't want anymore company, so please, just let me bathe."

"All right. I'll wait for you after to talk."

Carol groaned when Lori closed the door on her way out and wished she could toss her into a box and ship Lori very far away. She didn't need those thoughts in her head. She didn't need that pressure. She knew Daryl was graduating next school year and heading out to college, but she didn't think he'd take the baby with him. She still had two more years of school left, and her son would be with her. Daryl could come and visit or take him for a weekend or something, but that was all for now. They would work out the other stuff at a later date—like when baby boy was born and all that good, traumatic stuff. She would talk to Daryl about it and nursery stuff and...all of that! Ugh, Lori!

She flushed the toilet and removed her clothes, grumbling to herself about her rude, insensitive sister, and she slipped into her bath to forget she had a sister for the half hour.

––

True to her word, Lori was waiting for Carol in her bedroom with two lukewarm cups of tea. Carol had let her annoyance over her sister out in her bath, and she changed into her favorite long-sleeved baseball tee and stretchy pants, diving under her blankets to keep the warmth the bath had given her. She felt so relaxed and comfortable, and she was ready to deal with Lori's issues.

"So," Carol wrapped her hands around her cup, "you want to have sex with Rick? Why?"

"Because I love him, and like I said, I want to share myself with him in this way." She was blushing somewhat. "He means a lot to me."

"Okay." Carol studied her. "Is that enough?"

"What do you mean, is that enough? What else could there be?"

"I don't know. I've only done it once, and I didn't care for it."

"Only because you got knocked up."

"Yes, I got pregnant. You've established that." She met her eyes. "And I didn't like it for an entirely different reason, Lori."

She lowered her eyes. "Why didn't you like it?"

"Because I didn't know Daryl. I didn't love him. Yes, the sex was great. Amazing even, but I didn't feel that great about it afterward. I tried to not let it bother me and moved on with my summer, but it didn't sit right with me for a long time." She sighed softly then smiled gently. "It does now, because I'm getting close to Daryl, and I consider him to be a friend."

"What do you think of it now then?"

She rolled her eyes upward then to the side. "I think back on it fondly."

"Oh, come on, Grandma. You can't call it amazing then change it to fond." She lightly hit her knee. "Give me some details. We never talked about it."

"What is there to even talk about?" Carol was blushing now.

"Who made the first move? Like, how did it go down?"

"Umm...it just happened."

"Please," she clicked her tongue, "it did _not_ just happen."

"It kinda did. I mean, we were making out on the couch then...um, we just went upstairs." She cleared her throat, blushing a bit more. "We found the master suite, and Daryl closed and locked the door."

"Smart."

He held her hand the entire time. His hands were so warm and firm, and she trusted him completely. His body was following her lead, and he was in no way intimidating. He was attentive and sweet. "He led me to the bed, and it happened."

"Did you have an orgasm?" Lori scooted closer to her. "I mean, he's been around the block a couple times, so he has to be decent. I've heard some girls talk about how he was."

"It was a—"

"Don't try and skim on details." She smirked. "It's a yes or no question."

"It was uncomfortable," Carol blurted. "Honestly, I wasn't sure what I was doing, and I felt embarrassed, but he made it better. He didn't say anything to me directly, but...he would hold me in a certain way and guide my hips so it felt better for both of us. And yes, I did come. It...was intense." And it seemed to feed Daryl in some weird way, like knowing he'd gotten her to that point had aroused him even further. He was almost memorized by her, and for a moment she'd forgotten she didn't know him or love him, and she was just...lost in the feeling of it all.

"Intense how?"

"With the physical feel of it and...I don't know. It was, like, mental too. It was so overwhelming and wonderful and...memorable. I'll never forget any detail of what happened. Especially when the evidence is under my shirt." She stroked her belly.

"Don't ever be ashamed of what went down between you two." Lori searched her eyes. "You and Daryl are becoming friends, like you said, and sex isn't something to be ashamed of."

"It isn't something to be rushed into blindly either." She met her eyes. "I know you love Rick, and I know it feels right, but I think you oughta wait. It really is a massive step in your relationship and with yourself. I still regret not stopping, but I'm coming to terms with that. It's hard not to when you love the aftermath as much as I do."

Lori nodded. "I love him too. And you. And I'm sorry for blowing you off like I have been. It's nothing you've done. I just need...to be a normal teenager sometimes. I know you don't have that option, and it might seem selfish, but I need to get away from it all now and then. It's the only way I can keep my sanity through all this."

"I know what you mean, and I do wish I could escape. Not my pregnancy, because I wouldn't wish my baby away, but my body. I wish I could float away for a day or a couple hours a day and just...be normal." She inhaled. "But I guess this is my new normal, so I better accept it."

"I'm sure it'll all work out," Lori cheerily added. "Normal is...vastly overrated after all."

"I've had my life worked out in my head since I was ten years old. Well, my love life." She raised a shoulder. "I thought I'd find some handsome guy who'd...sweep me off my feet, and it'd become apparent that we were meant to be. We would fall so deeply in love, and everything that followed would be forever. Just like my mom and dad. And I know it's not that cut and dry, but...I hoped it would be. Call me foolish, call me a dreamer, call me whatever—I really hoped it would be that simple. I really still do hope it'll happen like that, but I know it won't, because it's no longer just me who has to fall in love."

Lori shook her head slightly, not understanding.

"My son has to love with his man who'll be his father, and Daryl will have to approve and trust this man, too. And I don't even know how I'll handle dating with a child and...a Daryl on my hands. Daryl is the only guy I've been with, and my head is so confused because of that. I don't know what to make of guys now, honestly."

"Guys are easy."

"No. No, they are not." She moved hair out of her face. "Daryl...just took me by surprise on all levels, and I'm still shaken. I don't know what to expect from him. He's been with me through all of this, and he hasn't wavered to my face. He's had my back against Paula, and he's been patient and hasn't thrown anything back in my face since we hashed it all out.

And Caesar? He's stood by my side since I told him I was pregnant, and he's been an incredible friend. He...blows my mind. He does so much for me without wanting anything in return, and he's not looking to get with me after my son is here. He cares about me and the baby and Daryl." She bit her bottom lip. "I don't know what's going on with anything when it comes to guys. I've experienced more with guys than you or our friends yet I know nothing."

"Hey, anybody can have sex," Lori stated, "but experience comes with time."

She rubbed her belly. "Can I confess something?"

"Shoot." She lifted her cup to her lips and drank.

"Part of me thinks...I like Daryl more than just friends. Part of me wants to be more with him." She couldn't meet Lori's eyes. "But I know it's all in my head. All the little moments I think we have. He doesn't want me like that, and I don't really think I want him like that. I just...gave him everything, so I'm attached to him because of that. I know that logically, but sometimes my heart...betrays that logic. I know I must be nuts to think he could actually want me—"

"Hey, don't do that. He did want. That's how baby boy Dixon happened." She poked her forehead. "Daryl is just a complicated person. I don't think any signs can be easily read one way or another with that guy. He's a mess, too. He has shit, too."

"I'm just being...silly. It's the pregnancy talking right now. I don't...know what I want. I've gone back and forth with Daryl coming to my appointments when I think I told him he could come back at the beginning, and I'm just a mess." Her self-confidence was shot. The last few weeks at school with the baby dropping, she just felt all eyes on her. She felt like a whale. It wasn't a good feeling. It just gave her anxiety more fuel.

"You're beautiful," Lori informed her. "And your next boyfriend will be lucky."

"Next? Don't you mean "first"?"

"Well, after Daryl and Caesar."

She laughed. "Friends!"

"They both wanted you. One slept with you, and one tried to date you, so no, not just "friends"."

She rolled her eyes. "You're insane."

"It's the truth!"

"Yeah, but Caesar doesn't like me in that way. He just liked what he saw, and when what he saw was pregnant by his friend, he backed off and stepped back up as a friend. A really good friend. One that I didn't know how much I needed."

"Um, ouch."

"You literally just apologized for blowing me off, so don't even."

"Yeah, I did." She chuckled. "I'm sorry. I love you and my nephew. I just need to feel like a normal teenage high school student, not so...I don't know? _Juno?"_

"Her sister was like five."

"Then I'm the best friend."

"You like Tyreese? Ooh, or Dale?"

"Oh, fuck you." She flicked her and laughed.

Carol giggled. "What? You said it."

"I say a lot of things apparently."

"You really do."

"Oh, hush up and drink your tea."

– – –

The house was alive to the sound of frantic mess. Mom was playing music and readying the side dishes, Dad was trying out a new brine for the turkey, and Lori was on the phone with the local pizza place. It was all prep today, and that meant cheese stuffed crust, salads and hot wings. She was down for wings, especially since it was wing Wednesday, and they were super cheap. She could and would eat a bucket load.

"Okay, so about an hour?" Lori dodged a lumpy potato Dad chucked over his shoulder. "Okay. Thanks."

"Whoa!" Rick caught the potato before it smacked him right in the face. "Not what I was expecting to come flying at me, but okay."

Lori smiled and turned in her seat. "He's in his own little world."

"Clearly." He discarded the potato on the counter, and Karen stole it for her sides. "I see your parents go just as nuts as mine."

"I think it's parental wiring." She slid off the stool. "While they're off in la la land, do you want to watch a couple movies?"

"Sure. I'd love to."

"So I guess I can't read upstairs and enjoy the sunlight." Carol closed the thick book she'd been working on since that morning. "Guess my cave calls."

"You can stay," Lori argued.

"No, I can't. I can hardly focus with the Thanksgiving Prep Squad in the kitchen, and with movies? I won't read a single word."

"Then watch some with us." Lori sat on the couch, lacing her fingers through Rick's. "We're gonna watch some good holiday movies."

"I'll pass."

She frowned. "Why?"

"I'm not in the mood for movies. I just wanted to read my book." She slumped back down to her bedroom.

"I try and invite her to do stuff with me, and the Grinch comes out." Lori blew out an annoyed sigh. "I get that she's "heavy with child", but that doesn't mean she has to take it out on me."

"Don't get angry with her. Reading is a distraction, and she needs that right now, I bet." He squeezed her hand. "And let's not talk about Carol anymore. It's always Carol, Carol, Carol."

"Well, she's a huge part of my life as my pregnant, teenage sister."

"Yes, but there are other things coming up that I'd like to talk about."

She slowly smiled. "What things?"

"Christmas things, New Years things, prom things." He watched her smile widened. "Do you wanna talk about those things, too?"

"I'd love to talk about those things." She glanced at the kitchen archway. "And some other things, but they're a bit private. Do you want to come to my room?"

"Your room?"

"I won't bite, and the door will be open. I'm pretty sure Dad put our old baby monitor in there somewhere to spy on me."

"That's creepy."

"Yeah, it is. So is the possibility that it might have been Mom instead."

"Your parents don't trust you for shit, do they?"

"Nope." She smiled. "Come on. I have a laptop, so we can still watch movies."

"All right."

The couple went upstairs, Karen and Axel continue to prep for dinner that would be ruined by Dawn's asshole of a father, and Carol curled up in her armchair as best she could with her book. She tried to get into for about thirty minutes before it ended up on her couch, and she was pacing her room.

She was highly anxious about tomorrow night, and nobody was talking about it. Mom was burying her troubles in wine and mashed potatoes and greens. Dad might as well have his head shoved up that turkey's ass, because he wasn't paying attention to anything else. Lori was kind, but Carol couldn't sit through a movie, let alone sit through it without venting about how nervous she was. Lori had to be sick of hearing about her stress, so...down in her room she was. Stressing. Stewing.

She had called Andrea and Michonne, but they were busy with their own family traditions. Caesar and his dad were out of town until school started, and she had run out of people to call. Mom had mentioned the neighbors, but it wasn't a pregnancy issue. Well, it was, but there was little Lilly or Tara could do to ease her stomach. She would talk to Lilly one of these days. She just didn't know when. She was...mixed up in her head right, and she didn't have room for anyone else's voices in there.

She put her hands on her hips towards her lower back and blew out a sigh, scrunching her face at how difficult it was becoming to sigh. Or breathe deeply. Or breathe at all.

"You done freakin' out yet?"

She spun around and saw Daryl in her doorway. "No, I'm only freaking out more!" She didn't have anything on beyond a long shirt and her open bathrobe.

"I've seen you naked before," he commented as she struggled to cover herself with any blanket in reach.

"That's not the point!" She hugged her blanket to her chest. "What are you doing here? And how did you even unlock that door?"

"I was invited." He tossed a bag onto her couch and closed the door.

"Invited?" Carol's eyes narrowed.

"Yeah, invited." He reached for the blanket and tugged on it, only drawing her closer to him. "Let go."

"Who invited you here?"

"Your mom. She wanted to ensure that I'd be here tomorrow." He continued to gently tug on the blanket. "She said I could crash on the couch."

"Upstairs couch," Carol added.

"Yes, the upstairs couch."

"Why did you agree?" She released the blanket to cross her arms over her chest.

"Merle ain't home." He balled the blanket up and shrugged. "And the shop's closed. Ain't got much else to do. Least I get free food here."

"Gee thanks."

"I can see your underwear."

"Daryl!" She blushed and threw a nearby pillow at his face, only she didn't let go of it and actually whacked him with it. The sudden action surprised him so he lost his balance and fell on his ass. "Oh, God."

He blinked and moistened his lips. "Okay, I might've deserved that."

She laughed. "You're an idiot."

He tilted his head. "I really can see your underwear now."

"And a jackass!" She threw the pillow at him and turned on her heel to change in her bathroom. She emerged to find him reading her book on the floor, and she rolled her eyes. "Are you going to get up?"

"No, I'm gettin' to a good part." He turned the page. "And the floor's not too bad."

"You're making my back hurt even more by lying on the floor."

He glanced at her then stood up. "Fine. Happy?"

"No."

"What's wrong?"

"I'm about to be disowned by the only connection to my mother that is willing to talk about my mother. Oh, and she's also my best friend in the entire world."

"Entire world, huh?"

"Yes, the entire world. I would even tell her about us."

He tensed. "What us?"

"Well, not like us "us". We are not an "us". We're...a parent unit." She shook her head. "I meant that night."

"You'd seriously tell her about the night you lost your virginity?"

"Yes, I'd seriously tell her about that."

"Why? You're scared she'll disown you for that night."

"No, for the baby that came out of that night. And it's not her. It's my grandfather. He'll disown me and try and force her to disown me, and it'll be ugly and raise every issue they have to the surface. I don't want to do that to her. She's eighty-eight. She doesn't need that in her life." She whined. "She doesn't need a great grandson from her sixteen-year-old granddaughter."

"But she's getting one. She'll accept that or move on."

"I don't want her to move on," Carol snapped. "She's my grandmother. I love her. I want her involved in my life."

"Okay."

"Okay? Okay?"

"What else do you want to me say? You're the only twistin' yourself in knots over shit you can't control. You're pregnant. She will or won't accept that. She can't change it."

"Is it that clear-cut for you?" She scoffed. "There's so much more to this that."

"Like what?"

"Disappointment! Broken hearts! It's almost exactly like my mother, only I'm a few years behind, and I'm not married."

"And we aren't getting married."

"Duh! I don't want to marry you, and after this conversation, I'm not so sure I want to know you. How can you be so insensitive?"

"I'm not bein' insensitive. It's just real simple: she'll accept it or she won't! You're stressing yourself out unnecessarily over details."

"Important details!"

"If she loves you so much, those details won't matter! She'll have your back!" He had to shout over her so she'd hear him, and she stopped talking entirely. He eyed her. "Okay? So...stop stressin' out. She loves you, and she won't hurt you. That's what you're supposed to do when you love somebody, so...calm down."

She exhaled. "It's not even her I'm stressed out about. It's Grandfather."

"He makes you call him Grandfather?" She nodded. "Asshole."

"He is. He completely disowned my mom because of my dad. Grandma fought with him to be involved when she heard my mom was pregnant." She swallowed. "Then Mom died, and they wanted to keep in touch with the only part of her left alive. Grandfather just...is always ready to cut ties. I don't know why, but he pretty much has a knife to them at all times. It's...hard on me and on Dad. We both love Grandma, but they're a package deal, you know? I can't stand to lose her."

"You won't."

"You don't know my grandfather."

"But I will, and if he tries to cut ties, I'll make sure he doesn't."

"How?"

"I don't know," he admitted, "but I will. I can be persuasive."

She smiled a little "There's not much you can do, but thank you."

He walked over to his backpack. "You're tryin' to read, right?"

"With no luck, yeah."

"Here." He pulled a tablet out of his pack with headphones. "It's got a bunch of books downloaded onto it."

She blinked and reached out to accept it. "You don't have to—"

"I wanted to," he gently interrupted. "Just know it's a loan."

"Of course." She smiled widely and accepted the tablet. "Thank you."

"No need. Just makin' sure my kid hears somethin' good." He shrugged. "Umm, I put a few kids stories on there. They're document style, so you'd have to read 'em to him. Just...a suggestion."

She laughed softly. "I'm sure he'll love that. Why don't we read one to him tonight?"

He peeked at her. "Ain't much for readin' out loud."

"Well, that's too bad. Kids love stories, and I will not dry my throat alone." She smirked. "Besides the couch upstairs will always be waiting. Half an hour won't kill anything."

"Fine, but know you twisted my arm."

"Yeah." She nodded. "Completely."

He snorted and sat down on the couch. "I'm gonna take a nap, if you don't mind."

"Go ahead." She tossed the blanket he'd taken from her on the vacant seat. "I'm going to read. I might be able to get through my book yet."

He lied down, using his backpack as a pillow and stretching out. He had ditched his shoes long before he caught her attention, so he didn't worry about dirtying her couch with moisture or dirt. He glanced at her as she got comfortable on the bed and ran her eyes over the options. He smiled to himself and was glad for the annual Secret Santa for once. To see her so happy, it was worth that hell of Christmas songs and ugly sweaters.

––

Karen was woken up by Axel at six in the morning, he was already busting his ass to start dinner, and she was tempted to kill him and eat him for breakfast for having woken her up this damn early! The sun wasn't even out! God, why couldn't he just let her handle this? Actually, no, that'd be worse. She'd been up alone while he slept in bed all warm and comfy. Better to struggle together.

"I need coffee." She stretched and walked by the couch, seeing the blankets she'd put out for Daryl were untouched. "Damn."

"What?" Axel poked his head out of the kitchen.

"Daryl didn't come over last night. I asked him to." She sighed.

Axel smirked. "Look downstairs."

She frowned and pulled the door open, bending down and squinting to see in the dying light of a Kindle Carol and Daryl lying in bed together. She could see both were dressed and nothing had happened beyond sleeping, so she was okay with putting the lecture off until they were awake. She knew he would be over more and more when the boy was born, and she would be okay with sleepovers. But not right now, not with Lori acting oddly and this asshole coming over for dinner. She just didn't have enough hands to juggle this shit. God, was it too early for wine?

"Never too early." Axel handed her a cup of eggnog. "Totally spiked."

"Good. Coffee wouldn't do it for me anyway." She began to chug it until the booze hit her throat, and she nearly choked. "Jesus."

"Okay, so it's like two drops of eggnog." He drank from his cup. "Greg just does this to me."

"He does the same to me, but I'd like to be able to taste." She cleared her throat. "I'll get started on the pies."

They began to work on the turkey and the pies since they would take the most time. The other dishes simply needed to be warmed, so they focused on the more time consuming foods. Karen was tempted to start making homemade rolls since they had ingredients and the time, and she decided to go for it. Carol would need a pick me up, and she loved her homemade rolls. She couldn't wait to see the look on the girls face when they came to help load up the kitchen table. They would be so impressed and hungry. They would just tear into it. That was her favorite part.

Downstairs Daryl began to rouse, smelling something in his nose, and he leaned into it. It was nice. It was like fresh fruit and honey, and he wasn't used to that. It was lulling him back to sleep. He didn't know Merle even knew what fabric softener was. Damn...

He felt his pillow begin to move, he tensed, and his eyes shot open to find Carol hugging his chest. She was muttering into his chest about cookies and milk and to be sure Santa didn't eat the butterscotch ones. She was out cold with the grip of death on his back, likely believing he was a pillow, and Daryl felt...comfortable. He wasn't tense because of the close contact. No, he was surprised. He didn't expect to find her there. He forgot he had come over to spend the night. It didn't bother him to have her so close, to be holding him...

"Mmm..." Carol's hand moved from his back to her face, rubbing her eye. "Smells like ham..."

"That wasn't me," Daryl blurted without thinking.

"Ah!" She shot up, startled by the man in her bed, and she huffed. "Jesus!"

"No, Daryl, but thanks." He smirked.

"You scared the crap out of me!" She wanted to smack him but instead pushed hair out of her face. "Good God."

He slipped out of bed. "I meant to go after that last story, but I fell asleep."

"Yeah, me too." She yawned. "You make a good pillow."

"Thanks?"

"It's hard to sleep when you're pregnant, but I slept pretty good last night." She stood up and stretched. "Hmm. I need a shower and to find breakfast."

"I'll go pick something up. Somethings oughta be open this morning. It'll be easier on your parents."

She smiled sleepily at him. "You're awesome, dude."

He smiled a little, dropping his face towards the floor. "I'll go see what they want."

"Thanks, Daryl." She slipped into the bathroom and closed the door, inhaling to ready herself for this likely awful day.

– – –

"Okay, so Mom has claimed the kitchen. Do not enter the kitchen. It's a risk for your life." Lori curled under the blanket with Carol on the couch to continue watching their movie, handing over the bowl of fresh popcorn. "If you want more popcorn, we'll just have to suffer without. I think she'll stab us if we get in her way."

Daryl eyed her. "Do families usually get this nuts on the holidays?"

"Yup." Carol scooped a handful of popcorn up. "Mom loves to cook, but give her the space to do it. Or there'll be hell to pay."

"Don't your folks do this for you?" Lori asked, mostly focused on the movie.

"No, me and Merle either work or get a couple steaks and have some...er, juice."

Carol arched a brow at him. "Juice?"

"Yeah, real strong juice." He cleared his throat and averted his eyes.

"I'll bet." She munched on more popcorn. "A steak sounds good right now."

"Damn it, Daryl." Lori sent a playful glare his way.

"What'd I do?" He returned the glare.

"You got her on steaks, and we're having ham and turkey!"

"I'm not on steaks," Carol corrected. "It just sounds good. So does the ham and turkey. And steak, but ham and turkey, too. Yum. I cannot wait to cram it in my face to fill the void Grandma is going to leave in my life."

Lori sighed softly. "She won't cut you out of her life, Carol. She loves you. She'll be here for you and your son. I promise."

Carol stuffed her face with popcorn to avoid having to answer, and they returned to watching their movie in peace. Carol wasn't at all in peace. She was ridden with high anxiety, a stomach ache and her son wouldn't stop moving, which normally felt super cool, but only made her feel sick. She just wanted this nightmare of a day to be over. She wanted to crawl into bed and pretend that this wasn't happening. She wanted her son—very much, no doubt about that—but she didn't want her grandparents. She didn't want them to come to her home and disown her. She didn't want to lose her grandma. She didn't want to feel even more like a disappointment and a burden and a dumbass, because who didn't think to use a condom? God, she knew it would be brought up. Dad brought it up all the time after she told him. He didn't know she heard, but she had. She felt so stupid and so small. Now she just felt so stupid and fucking like a planet. God, she was such a fuck up.

"Hey, who wants to help me set up the table?" Karen called to the kids. "Or should I ask who remembers how to make napkin swans?"

Daryl's brows rose. "Napkin swans?"

"Only the best for Gregory," she bitterly mused. "Carol? Lori? Any takers?"

"I'm not really into this movie, so sure." Carol stood up and joined her mom in the kitchen. "Oh, the fancy China?"

"We never use it." She was stirring the gravy, peeking over her shoulder. "It was your mom's and Axel's wedding China."

She set her hand over the soft fall-colored flowers with delicate Baby's Breath looping around the rim. "It was? Dad never mentioned that."

"He doesn't know." She turned to face her confused daughter.

"How couldn't he know?"

"Dawn purchased them after they were married. She only bought a few, because they couldn't afford a whole lot, but she wanted something...traditional to hold onto. We bought them together, discussing baby names and how to decorate the nursery."

"Why didn't you tell him?"

"They're just plates to him. They never meant much to him. He just knew Dawn liked them, so he made sure to not scratch or break them." She smiled softly. "He takes care of things Dawn loved. Items, I mean."

"Sounds like Dad."

She inhaled and started to speak but closed her mouth. It wasn't for her to mention. It was Axel's gift, and she had no right to it. She'd just have stick to dinner. "So, do you remember how to make swans?"

"Not at all."

She laughed. "I knew it. Here. Let me show you." She reached out to grasp the cloth napkins from the island. "I can't believe how fancy we have to get for Greg. It's so stupid." She began to fold it slowly, showing Carol.

"Yeah. I don't get it either. It's not like we have to earn his approval or anything. He has no say over my life or my baby. It's just...facts and politeness to inform family of a coming infant."

Karen studied her. "Don't worry so much. Your grandma is a fighter. She'll knock Greg flat on his ass to keep you in her life."

"I don't know if she'd go that far, but...okay."

"No, no okay. It's true. She will." She caught her chin and made eye contact. "She loves you, Carol. You are all she has left of Dawn and all that will carry her line, but more important than that...you are her very heart. You can't even know how much that woman loves you, how she'd do anything for you."

Her eyes filled with tears. "I'm scared."

"I know, baby." She embraced her. "But try not to be. She needs you in her life as much as she needs air."

"How are you so sure?"

"Because...that's how every mother feels about their child...and their grandchild." She stroked her hair. "I feel that way about you and your baby. You and Lori have given me so much, and I know this baby will do the same for you. You just have to remember that. If you lose anybody because you're going to be a parent, they deserve to be lost. If someone wants to be in your life, they'll be in your life. It isn't a you problem. It's a them problem. Okay?"

She nodded and held her mom tighter. "Okay."

Axel stood just beside the doorway, having overheard their conversation, and he sighed softly, soundlessly and turned away. He had a feeling Carol would need a pick me up tonight, and he knew just what would do.

– – –

The table was filled with a rather fancy and precious meal. Fake vines of fall leaves weaved through the mashed potato and roll bowls, small strands of cranberries rested around the casseroles and cornbread, and tea light candles that lightly shined red and orange light through their small glass holders circled the turkey and pies. The lovely plates filled both sides of the table with their swans resting perfectly in the center, wine glasses beside the adults' plates, and water glasses beside the kids' plates. It was a picture perfect scene.

Karen had joined the kids in their rewatch of A Christmas Story, sharing the blanket with Carol, and Lori was texting Rick while Daryl began to pick at his clothes. Axel watched Daryl try and make a hole in his jeans, but they were too new. Most people wouldn't know that, but Axel had also purchased new clothes for tonight. He didn't want to bloody his good, worn out clothes should he and Greg come to blows like last time. He'd rather just waste the new stuff. If he couldn't get the stains out, he would at least give it to charity. Probably.

A knock on the door caught their attention, Karen didn't want to get it as she'd just put all the food out literally ten minutes ago, so Axel hopped up to answer it. It was the parents. Joy of joys.

"Axel!" Mel embraced him tightly. "It's so good you see you!"

Carol's heart skipped a beat, and she sank onto the couch. Oh, God.

Karen squeezed her hand before rising to embrace Mel herself. "Melody." She rubbed her back. "It's so good to see you."

"You should invite me over more." She was teasing, but only just.

"Axel." Greg shook his head and moved into the living room without speaking any further to the man.

"Oh, Lori." Mel ran her eyes over the young woman before her. "You...have simply shot up like a tree. So stable and tall. You're lovely. You're a painting."

"Aww." Lori couldn't stop smiling. "I missed you so much." She tackled her tightly. "You look so gorgeous. I love this top."

She laughed. "This Grandma still some style."

"Just a bit." Lori teased.

"Keep it up, and I'll buy you socks for Christmas."

"I'm kidding." She assured her. "I'm kidding."

"You'd better be." She kissed the top of her head. "Stop growing up on me so much. You'll make me feel old."

 _Just wait._ Lori smiled widely. "I'll try."

"Good. Try hard." She smirked then turned to Carol, who had yet to move. "Comfortable, huh?" She objected to Carol moving to stand up. "No, no. Stay right there. I'll come to you." She leaned over to hug her, and Carol gulped when she felt her grandma's elbow brush her bump. Grandma didn't react in any way, just held her and kissed her cheek.

Carol relaxed somewhat—at least enough to enjoy the hug—and smiled brightly at her. "I missed you so much. I'm sorry I haven't called."

She sat beside her. "Don't worry about it. You have a life. You're a growing girl. It's okay." She patted her knee. "We'll have plenty of time to catch up tonight, won't we?"

She nodded. "Yeah."

"Carol." Greg smiled—or what you assume was a smile—at Carol.

"Hi, Grandfather." She tried to smile back but failed miserably.

His eyes flickered to Daryl, who sat in the armchair by Karen. "Who's this?"

"A friend." Lori piped in. "He's joining us for dinner."

Greg smirked a bit. "No, he's the meat boy."

Mel sighed deeply at that.

"Did he deliver the turkey? The ham perhaps?"

"He really is a friend," Carol told him.

"And what does it matter if he did?" Melody demanded. "Hmm?"

Greg didn't say anything else but still worked that shit-eating smirk.

Mel turned to the stranger. "What's your name then?"

"Daryl," he replied, moving his eyes off Greg. "Daryl Dixon."

"Hide the silver," Greg said as a joke, but it wasn't funny nor did it sound like a joke.

"Why don't you come and have a glass of Scotch?" Axel offered. "Before dinner."

"Hmm. I'll take a glass, neat, please." He spoke like Axel was a waiter, and it wasn't kindly.

"So," Mel took hold of the conversation, "how's school going for you kids? Good? Is high school treating you all right?"

"It's the best." Lori moved to sit on the arm of the couch and gushed about how awesome high school was for what felt like four years. She started to get really excited when she got to talking about Rick. "We've been dating for about three months, and he's...really great. I care about him a lot, and he cares about me. It...it's just really amazing."

"I'm glad. Young love is beautiful and very important. It shapes your relationships to come. It sounds like you caught a good one, too, honey. I'm happy for you." She reached over and patted her knee. "If he makes you smile like that often then I'm really happy."

"He does." She laughed softly. "You'd approve of him if you met him."

"Just don't try and move too fast. You're still a child." This from Gregory. "You have more important things to do in high school than let a guy ruin your future."

Lori lost her smile and turned away from him, rolling her eyes behind her hair, and Karen wrapped an arm around her back, rubbing it once.

"And how about you, Carol?"

"It's high school. It's okay." She shrugged. "I like my classes."

"Well, big talker." She glanced at Daryl. "How about you, Mister Silence? How do you like high school?"

He cleared his throat. "It's all right. I mean, I'm doing pretty decent, and...I got a year left, so I'm lookin' forward to that."

"Eager to be out of school? Do you have college plans?"

Greg snorted.

"I do," Daryl had to keep a hiss out of his tone at the asshole in the room. "I already have a college in mind, and they're interested in me. If I do well on my ACTs, I'm guaranteed a full ride."

"Oh, that's exciting." Mel grinned. "College is wonderful. You really learn who you are. It's...an experience everyone should have. I understand why people shy away from it—all the debt—but you'll love it. You'll learn things you never thought you could about the oddest things. Oh, but you'll love it."

Daryl smiled a little. "I hope so."

"We'll have to go and visit the campus in the spring," Mel gasped. "We can view the dorms and check out the classes. Make an afternoon out of it. It'll be lovely."

"I don't know if I'll even get in," Daryl nervously reminded her.

"A smart young man like yourself?" She waved the possibility of him not getting in away. "You'll get that full ride."

"And what makes you think he's so smart?" Greg inquired, which Daryl had wondered too, but not as rudely.

"Just use your eyes," she retorted to her husband. "It's the quiet ones who are very intelligent and going places. They don't have time to be bothered. They have goals."

"All that from silence?"

"Yes, try it sometime." She crossed her legs and smiled at Daryl. "Let me know how that score looks, okay?"

"Yeah." He nodded. "I will."

"Good." She smacked her hands together. "I'm starving. Is this a fasting Thanksgivings, or did I wear my good stretchy pants for no reason?" She waggled her brows.

Karen chuckled. "It's all laid out. I just wanted you to get comfortable."

"I'm so comfortable you'll have to help me up." She held a hand out, and Karen helped her up, letting her put her weight on her and not her bad hip. "Now if you have to pry me out of my seat in the kitchen, let the young man do it. He looks like he has the arms for it."

"Grandma!" Carol blushed.

"What? I'm just using my eyes before the cataracts take over."

"Geez." Carol shook her head.

"Let's go eat, shall we?" Greg spoke. "I have an early morning."

"Right." Mel looked a little bummed about that.

Karen and Axel and Lori all looked at Carol, who inhaled deeply and readied herself to mentally and physically to stand up, and Mel glanced at her husband before Carol stood up. And instead of pure silence like Carol had expected, Gregory downed his drink and set it on the table before turning to Axel.

"Please just tell me that she's gotten very fat and that isn't what I think it is." He stared dead into Axel's eyes.

"No, she hasn't gotten very fat." Axel replied, "that's just my grandson."

"Grandson?" Mel muttered, not at all bothered, unlike her husband.

Greg nodded and chuckled bitterly. "Is it the meat boy's? Is that why he's here? To help soften the blow? It only makes it worse that my granddaughter spread her legs for a lowlife who could only find a job doing something as simple as delivering meats."

Carol's eyes burned.

"And is it so hard to use a condom? What do they teach you in school these days? Just sleep around and don't worry about the consequences? That there are no consequences?" He scoffed. "I thought you were smarter than this, but I guess low self-esteem and a cute guy makes a powerful combination."

"Hey!" Karen snapped. "Don't you dare talk to my daug—"

"She isn't your daughter," Greg cut her off. "She is my granddaughter. She's only related to you through a sham marriage and a slip of paper. She came from my flesh and blood, and it would seem you have truly taught her nothing worth knowing."

Karen was about to go off when Mel gripped her hand tightly to get her attention, shaking her head. It wasn't her battle, the head shake told her. It was a war that started long ago and needed to be put to rest. Tonight, she hoped that happened.

"First my daughter now my granddaughter." He was spewing at Axel. "You really are worthless! You had one job: to raise her into a young woman with a head on her shoulders. You couldn't even do that. I knew I should have taken her when Dawn died. I knew you didn't have what it takes to raise a child. You raised a slag. An idiot."

"I'm not an idiot," Carol informed him. "I know about sex and condoms and—"

"Then why wasn't one used? Did you just let him mount you like an animal and have his way with you? Did you even want it?" He shook his head. "Let me guess how this happened. A party, you both were drinking, and then you took it upstairs? Or do his car? Please tell me it wasn't in the middle of street."

"It wasn't! And you're wrong!"

"Right, because this was clearly not a hormone driven mistake?"

"He's not a mistake!"

"I'm surprised you didn't just abort." He wasn't listening to Carol. "Christ. I told Dawn she should have done it, but she wouldn't listen to me. And now it's too late for me to tell you."

Carol whimpered.

"It was nothin' on her," Daryl stood beside her. "It was me. I made moves, and I took advantage of her. Don't call her stupid, and don't you ever fucking say my son should be aborted, you prick."

"You took advantage? Then I should call the cops. You're older than her. A junior, was that right? I'll explain to my good friend down at the police department that a Dixon took advantage of my grandchild at a party where drinking and likely drugs were involved. It'll be an open and shut case with your history. There won't be any campus visits in your fut—"

"He didn't do anything she didn't want," Axel seethed. "Just like Dawn and I didn't do anything we didn't both want. You don't get to come to my home and belittle my family, ridicule how we've raised our children. They are good kids. They are kind and respectful and are going places. They are my entire life, so is my grandson, and I won't let you say anything else to them."

He shook his head. "You're a failure as a father."

"How is that? They're both drug free, and they don't sneak booze out of the house. They are happy and have good friends and awesome grades. Sure, Carol's pregnant, but that does not make her a bad kid. She is everything Dawn wanted in a child, and she is every motivation I need. She is the reason I even get out of bed in the morning. You don't get to call that stupid. You don't get to do anything. I want you out of my house. I don't want you to step back into this house until you've apologized to everyone in this room and mean it." His voice was lethally low. "There's a reason Dawn never wanted you around us, and I think it's time you know."

"Then tell me."

"She didn't want you and your attitude poisoning our baby, and she didn't want Carol to grow up having heavy contact with you. That's why you never babysat for us or were allowed to be around Carol alone. We missed work just so we wouldn't have to have you babysit, because that's how toxic Dawn knew you were to have around Carol. And she was right." He sneered. "Now get out of my house."

He swallowed. "Dawn settled for you."

"Well, lucky me. She was the best part of my life. Just like I'm sure this baby will be for Carol and Daryl, who will make amazing parents. I have no doubts about that. They'll be a great team, and I'm proud to say Daryl is my son's father. I'm proud that my son will have such an intelligent and kind father, someone who's thinking ahead for the good of not only himself but his family. That's something you never understood. It was all about your career and what looked best for you. You were never a father, just a glorified sperm donor." He scoffed. "You nearly ruined Dawn. You really tried hard to ruin her, didn't you? But you don't know. Well, let me tell you. You shit on her so much about her body and her mind that she developed an eating disorder, had panic attacks when she wasn't prepared for tests, and she was always on the verge of a nervous breakdown. She was a mess, and there wasn't anything I could do to protect her from you. I regret not doing more. I should have taken her out of your house the day I met her."

He scoffed. "Melody, let's go."

Mel shrugged a shoulder. "I came for food, and it smells too good for me to just up and leave."

Daryl reached over and grasped Carol's hand as she dried her eyes, holding it gently but firmly.

"We're leaving right this instant."

"I'm eating. You're leaving. You're the one who made an ass of himself."

"You're not honestly happy about this?"

"Not about how young she is, but it's done, and I'm going to be a grandmother again. A great-grandmother. I'm...ecstatic." She beamed. "I might as well get to know the newest member of our family before the boy is born, eh? I always wanted a boy to spoil."

"If you don't come with me now, you're staying here."

She patted Karen's hand and walked over to him, Karen tried to reach for her to stop her, but she gently swatted her hand aside. She stood before her husband and put her hands on her hips, inhaling before stating, "The couch looks pretty damn comfortable."

Carol's jaw hit the floor, and she leaned into her Daryl, bringing her other hand to her mouth to cover how much it'd fallen.

"Fine." He stormed out of the house, slamming the door and speeding away.

"Grandma." Carol shuddered. "You didn't—"

"But I wanted to." She walked over to Carol and cupped her chin. "You're my daughter's daughter, and I am so proud of you, girlie. Don't cry over his words. He'll get over it or have a cow. Personally, I'd love to take care of a cow, but a chunky baby boy will just have to do."

She smiled. "You meant that?"

"I do. I meant every word." Her eyes from from Carol to Daryl and back again. "Now, dry those tears, and let's eat. He ain't gonna get chunky off tears. I think the ham and potato will do the trick, though."

She laughed. "I'll bet."

"Let's go before it gets cold." She kissed her forehead. "Greg is a grumpy ass, but he isn't a big enough ass to ruin our holiday spirit. Now, let's have the daddy-to-be slice up this bird!"

"Hey, hey, that's my job," Axel reminded her.

"And you do it so well, but he'll need the practice. He'll have many more with our boy, won't he?"

"Fine, but only for him and Carol. I'll carve it the rest of the way."

They all headed into the dining room, Daryl found Carol was still holding his hand as they slipped into the room, and he liked how it felt. Her hand was small and warm, and he liked that he could cover it completely with his own. It felt like protecting her. Well, a small part of her, anyway. And he liked that.

They were halfway through their meal, joking and tossing up baby names and nursery ideas when Mel raised her glass for a toast. The kids only had water glasses, but they raised them anyway, and she ran her eyes over her ever-growing family. Her line passed on in the beauty and grace and badassery of Carol, and trust her, Carol had to be badass to walk down the halls of her school pregnant and still working to graduate and attend college. All women who did that while raising a child were badass, but she was digressing...

"To family," she toasted, "to those departed and those yet to come. We have a lot to learn about each other and ourselves. That questioning never ends, even at my age, so trust me. Life is all about self-discovery, but don't get lost in the little lines and divots, or you'll miss more than a colorful sunset. You'll miss the beauty in the one sitting next to you. You'll miss love on the warm spring air. You'll miss the first step into a train wreck called parenting. And you won't want to miss any of that, believe me. It's all beautifully messy. It really shows you to yourself who you are when people need you, and it's an eye opener. For both the parents and those around them, so keep your family close, even those who aren't in it just yet."

They clanged cups and drank. Carol noted her grandmother looking directly at her, and she didn't know what to say, so she just kept drinking. If only Carol knew exactly what that look meant. It might have saved her a headache.


	13. To The New Year

_A/N: I've been on the struggle busy. I'm actually in charge of it now I've gotten so familiar with it. I am...a wreck, but I'm coming back to my words, and my words are hungry for Caryl. Not so much for The Walking Dead due to their kill choices here lately, so inspiration comes...like mud from a boulder. But I've managed to get this out while struggling, so here's hoping you guys have or am having a MUCH better year and life than me. (Hint: my entire life is Paramore's Hard Times)_

* * *

 _ **Disclaimer: I own nothing.**_

– – –

"Am I the only one who feels like we've all paired up?" Andrea was pushing Lucky Charms around with her spork. "Like, you and me. Lori and Rick. Carol and Daryl."

"Ah, but you forget Caesar. He's...absorbed himself into our group since Halloween." She scribbled out the answer to her homework that she hadn't gotten to finish the night before due to her baby brother and his night terrors. Poor Andre. "And he's single and ready to hit someone up. Probably."

"True." She spotted Daryl and Carol entering from the math wing hall. "Gosh, Carol's gotten so big."

"She's due in February."

"I know. I'm freaking out. It's literally only two months away. Less, actually."

"Well, it's a good thing we're not having the baby, and we're only planning the baby shower, which we haven't actually planned. Freak out on that, because it's in January. It's next month on the 15th. We have no plans."

"We're going over it tonight at my place. Lori's gonna drop by, and we'll work out...everything."

She smiled. "I love when you're ahead of the game."

She smiled back. "I try."

"Hey, hey, no PDA." Carol sat down.

"Well, that baby is like PDA. It's a display of past affection." She winked at her. "Lots and lots of affection."

"Shut up." Carol rolled her eyes to try and void blushing. It didn't work. "So, Mom and Dad are Christmas shopping crazed right now. Do you guys wanna come over and help me set up for the baby?"

"You have nursery designs that we don't know about?" Andrea pouted.

"Not quite. I just...have a bassinet my grandma gave me. It was my mom's, and it's just to get a feel of how much space the baby'll take up. It's like a prop basically. And I want a full on crib, you know? So, it's not a real feel, but I figure it's close enough. Daryl and Caesar are gonna help me with the heavy lifting, so I could use some help trying to...find where the baby's stuff all goes."

"I can't. Andre has a doctor's appointment, and Mom wants me there. I'm sorry. It's his night terrors." It wasn't a total lie. She would drop by to check on how it went then head over to Andrea's for baby shower planning.

"And Amy is bugging me about her school's winter dance. I have to take her clothes shopping. Some hottie asked her out, and my life is ruined because of it. I'm sorry. Blame Amy."

"It's okay. I'm sure Lori'll be home. Or I can just call my Grandma. She's been such a help. You guys can't even imagine how much she's helped me. So, she came over last night to drop off the bassinet, and," Carol just went on and on about how awesome and helpful Mel was. The thing was this was the fifth time she'd done it in two days. It was sweet, but getting to be a little old.

The bell rang and released them from their grandma story telling fate. Daryl noticed the look Michonne and Andrea shared when Carol turned her back, and he knew part of the emotions behind it. He swiped his book and headed out with a slight nod, Carol faced her friends and smiled, and Michonne laced her fingers through Andrea's, standing. They walked towards their first period class.

"Wait, Daryl totally blew off first." Andrea glanced behind them, though he'd vanished long before they'd gotten out of the cafeteria.

"He has a meeting with Dale." Carol weaved through the students to get to the gym. "It's about college. There's one that wants him. They just want his Act scores first."

"Wow. That's kinda cool."

"It is. I'm so happy for him."

"It's a little odd too," Michonne commented. "I mean, they don't have anything other than his grades, which he only recent started to invest in."

Carol frowned. "What do you mean? They're lying to him?"

"No, but I think there's more to it than his grades."

"Why does there have to be more to it? Why can't he just be intelligent and earn his way into a college? What, do you think they need their token poor kid?"

"No! I never said that." Michonne was hurt. Carol had to know her better than that. "I just meant maybe someone's sponsoring him."

Her frown deepened. "Can you even do that?"

"If you're wealthy enough, or a prominet figure, I guess." She glanced at Andrea. "Doesn't your dad do that type of thing?"

"He used to, but after Am came along, he doesn't have any time."

"So, you think someone is pushing this college at him? Who would do that?"

"Dale might. He roots for Daryl, especially since he got into that huge fight last year with that jackass senior." Andrea rolled her eyes in disgust. "I'm so glad he doesn't go to this school anymore. I would have transferred."

"Wait, what fight?"

The second bell rang just then, Andrea said she'd explain in class, and they hurried to the gym before they were late. The class was given out study guides for their end of course exam. Michonne had opted out of it given that she hadn't missed any of this semester, but Andrea and Carol weren't so lucky. They worked on the guide while Michonne spoke to Sasha, who was coming up a month behind Carol. Michonne loved how different their bodies were. Carol's belly was plump and all baby, but Sasha was hardly showing. She definitely had a bun in that oven, as it kicked like crazy if anyone touched her belly, but baby hardly let itself show. They didn't even know the sex of the baby it was so well hidden.

"Bob says it has to be a girl," Sasha shook her head. "It has to be a girl."

"And what do you say it has to be?"

"A little less active with my bladder." She smiled. "I honestly have no perference. My brother, on the other hand, wants a boy. He wants someone to throw a ball with and get muddy with, and he knows a girl can do that too, but he wants a boy."

"Can't he just have kids of his own?"

"I hope so soon." Her eyes revealed a secret, but Michonne didn't know what. "It's not appropriate to talk about it to a student, though."

"Well, I need something to talk about. I'm the only one who doesn't have to take your EOC. I need something to do."

She glanced at Carol. "Are you planning her shower? I think Karen mentioned you all were."

"Yeah."

"I have a few ideas for mine. I wouldn't mind sharing them."

"That would be awesome. We...have no clue where to stop. I think we have the location, but honestly, probably not."

She laughed. "Get a piece of paper."

Michonne hoped it helped them plan Carol's shower. They really had no starting point, and she was due in two months. Less then. God, they were kinda shit right now.

– – –

Caesar padded down the steps. "I brought snacks. I'm just warming them up."

"That's sweet of you." Carol smiled. "What'd you bring?"

"It's a bit of a surprise." He smirked. "It's...a family recipe."

"Okay." She nudged his rib and turned to Daryl. "He has an idea. I think it's kinda cool, but I'm not...good at this type of thing, so what's your opinion?"

Daryl pulled a hand from his back pocket and gestured to the space between where the steps ended and the gap before the bathroom wall started. "I figure we make a corner for the baby. Like put up a sheet of wood to cover the slats in the stairs to prevent anything from landin' in his crib or such. The wood's strong; it could take being drilled into, and it'd hold the wood."

Caesar nodded. "Why not just toss a blanket over it instead?"

"'Cause I want the kid to have a room. It ain't big, but it'll be his room within Carol's room, and we can put little animals or some shit over the wood, to make it feel more like a kid's room." He folded his arms. "And the sheet ain't gonna keep out sheet that gets knocked down the stairs by accident or if someone drops a plate or cup on the landing."

They had added a sort of half landing when they made it into Carol's room, to allow easier access to the bathroom and to make it feel less like a basement. The last two steps guided you in towards the couch and the desk area instead of smack towards her bed. It was a spacious basement, but Axel wanted it to be...comfortable. He also was owed a favor by a friend, and Carol went a little nuts, but it worked out.

"True." Caesar stepped into the space in question. "What was here?"

"My hamper and a few junk boxes." Carol gestured to the pile by her bed. "They're my dad's, but I'm sure he won't mind moving them so his grandson has room."

He looked it over. "It'll need a light. A gentle light, but it's kinda shady."

Daryl nodded. "A rug, too, right?"

"Yeah, if this little area's gonna be his."

"He can play over here." Carol gestured to her worn couch and coffee table.

"And injure his eye? Or chew on that old couch?" Caesar shook his head. "We should find a pin to fence him in once he's big enough to start playing."

Carol pursed her lips. "Okay."

"Maybe look into tossing that couch when he starts teething." Caear eyed it.

"What? No. That's mine."

"And if he chokes its stuffing? It looks pretty worn. I could probably poke a hole in it."

"Look, we'll cross that bridge when we get it. For now, do you think that's a good place for him? Daryl and I both agree. I just wanted a third opinion before I talk to my dad about it."

"Yeah, it's good. He'll like it. You two will make it all homey." He smiled. "And I'm sorry if I suggested too much. I just...have ideas. A lot of 'em. My mind wanders."

"It's okay, but it's still my room. You can't just suggest I completely remodel it. I can't afford to for one, and for two...I don't want to. It's my safe space. I love how it looks."

"Well, it's not about you if you have to remodel," Caesar reminded her. "It's about your son."

Carol lowered her eyes. _So he gets to take even that away from her?_

"The oven's goin' off," Daryl muttered. "Best go check on it."

He didn't hear anything, but he still headed upstairs.

"It'll be all right." Daryl turned to her. "We can rearrange your room, if we have to."

"Why can't we rearrange yours? Remove your bed and your desk and everything you've had and made memories around?" She sighed. "It's not fair."

"It ain't about fair."

"I know it's not, but still! I can be upset."

"You can be, but...you can make new memories with our son," he reminded her. "And the old ones don't have to go away. They can...just..." He trailed off, not sure how to finish.

"I never saw your house," she changed the subject. "I don't feel comfortable with him being over there if I can't even see it."

"Maybe he won't be over there."

"You'll have him some days, though, right? He is our son, not just mine, and you said—"

"But that doesn't mean he has to live with me."

"Some nights, yeah." She frowned. "You do know how joint custody works, right?"

"I can watch him and take care of him all day long, but at night, he comes back here. I can't...have him at my place."

"And why not? What are you doing at your place? Trying to study for college? Trying to hang out with friends? Trying to lead a small shred of a normal teenage life?" She met his eyes. "You can't just say he's going to be with me all the time."

"I'm not."

"Daryl, he has to stay some nights with you."

"Why?"

"Because!"

"That's not an answer."

"It's not like we're married! It's not like we own this house, share a bed, and can raise him together under one roof! It's not going to work like that. All of the ideas I had of watching my child with his father weren't like this, and I want him to know you. I want him to spend time with you, but he won't know you if he's over here all the time. Your house is you, Daryl. Just like this room is me. It's a part of who you are, and he needs to get to know that part, too."

He scoffed. "You're so stupid. That shithole ain't a part of me."

"It is. It's where you lay your head. It's where you study. It's where you grow. It is a part of you."

"It's just a place to sleep."

"Then why can't he go over there to sleep too?"

"I don't have a crib! And I sure as hell can't afford to buy one!"

"Take the bassinet! I'm sure someone will buy or help me buy a crib."

"I don't want the bassinet! I don't want nights!" He was shouting. "I don't want him around that shithole!"

"Why not?"

"Because I fuckin' hate that place, and I don't want him anywhere near something I despite so fucking much." He had terrible memories there, and he didn't want them to taint his son. They were in his head, but not all of them. The dents in the walls of the trailer told the stories of how his old man used to slam his head into the wall and press so hard Daryl thought his head would explode. The shattered tiles in the kitchen told of how he threw beer bottles and whiskey bottles when his anger got bad. The now dark stains once told of how Daryl crumbed to the floor after taking a beating, being unable to move, just bleed... He didn't want his son to walk across those floors or touch those walls. He didn't want something so pure and innocent to touch that part of his past. No fucking way.

"Why do you hate it?"

"You don't need to know."

"I'd like to know."

"No."

"Why not? I get that it's probably personal, but after last month, I think you've seen plenty of my personal shit. I'm not saying it's tit for tat, but I'd like to get to know you better. We are going to be tied together for the rest of our lives through our son. And I... I care about you, Daryl. You mean so much to me, and I want to get to know you." She tried to smile. "We're supposed to get to know each other. It's what...everybody suggests, right?"

"No." He turned away from her, not being able to take the tears in her eyes. "You don't need to know."

"...but we're friends, aren't we?" She tried to conceal her emotions, but it was difficult to reel them in. "Daryl?"

"You don't know shit about me, Carol," he replied. It was the truth. "We ain't friends. We're...just two people in a shit situation."

"Is that right?"

"Yeah, that's right. We both want the kid, but this ain't ideal. It's shit. We aren't ready. We're too young. We don't have any clue what we're doing with our lives, let alone how to raise this whole other new life. We're just kids."

"We weren't kids when we drank," Carol corrected. "We weren't kids when we...fucked. We're teenagers. You'll be eighteen soon. You'll be an adult soon. So...either deal with your shit and help me raise our son, be a part of his family, or just leave. I can do this with or without you. I already have every plan I've ever made die on me, so if you wanna crap out too then go right ahead. My son doesn't need a closed off jerk as his father."

He whirled around. "What?"

"You want an out? Here it is. I have my mom, my dad, my grandmother. I have my friends. If you want to leave, then just leave. If you're going to be bitter and angry and never let anybody in, then I want you to leave. I don't want our son to grow up and wonder what the hell he ever did wrong to make you keep him so far away. I don't want him to come home from a day visit with you and cry his eyes out, because you don't want to keep him for a weekend. I want him to be happy. I want him to grow up with loving people in his life, and I don't think you can offer that. Not right now."

"I have been supportive—"

"Yeah, you have been, but there's a wall around you, Daryl. I can see it, but I can't get through it. I am too tired to try right now, and a baby just can't do it. But babies can feel. They can sense emotions and play off of them, and I don't want our son to grow up and be closed off, because his dad is. I don't want him to be angry, to be...silent! Or, God, not trust anybody, because the world has been a big, bad place, and surely everyone in it will always be too!"

"The world is a fucking dark and awful place! Not all of us can be as lucky as you, princess!"

Her jaw dropped. "Princess?!"

"You don't even know how fucking awful the world can be. You got a fuckin' palace here with parents who love you and a sister who treats you right. You—you can afford to raise this kid without me. You can keep on living your life and have everything be fine, because the world has never shown you how everything and everyone can be against you, everyone can and does hate you, and how nobody will ever respect you because of the fucker who brought you into this world!"

She gaped at him.

"If you want me gone—I'm gone. Say it, and I'll leave." His eyes burned into hers. "You don't want me involved with our son, do you? You don't think I'll be a good influence? You think I'll treat him like shit and give him bad habits, am I right? Well, fuck you and your fucking perfect little family image. It's bullshit, Carol. Grow up." He stormed out of her room, using the door instead of the stairs and slamming it so hard it rattled in the frame.

She turned towards the door when she heard his truck pulling out, tears rolled down her cheeks, her lungs collapsed, and she gasped breaths, trying to calm down.

"Hey, hey." Caesar hurried over to her, having caught the entire fight on his way back down. "He didn't mean that."

"No? Because it sounded like he was pretty damn sure."

He didn't know how to assure her Daryl didn't mean it, because he'd seen him blow up like this before, and he always came back to apologize. He didn't know how to explain it to her as she slumped onto her bed and cried, and he didn't know how they got there. They were fine just moments ago, and now...here they were; Daryl had vanished, Carol was crying her eyes out, and he had no words to console her or assure her it'd all work out in the end. Because honestly? What if it didn't work out? His past was a touchy subject, and his mind had warped her words in the worst way. He had fear of becoming like his dad and Merle—the town drunk with an anger problem—and now those fears were plaguing his mind loud and relentlessly. That was a dangerous combo.

––

"So, we'll have it in her backyard." Lori sat on Michonne's bed, writing up a list of people who might want to attend Carol's shower. "We'll have the firepit to keep people warm, and we'll have blankets and hot chocolate. It'll be a bit rustic. I think that'll be so cute."

"Yeah, just imagine those photos." Michonne was on the floor with Andrea, who was looking over the many photos on Pinterest to see what other people had done.

"Well, it oughta to be warm...ish."

"We'll do photos in the gazebo, gifts in the den, and I'll put up some games in there too. Like the clothespin game, and I think something about guessing...something." Andrea shook her head and scrolled further down on her tablet. "I'll ask my mom what it's called."

Lori lied down on her belly. "I think we should do some baby photos there, too. Like with Daryl and Carol. I mean, we'll all be dressed up, and the place will look amazing. It's a two for one."

"I mean, we are inviting guys, so why not?" Michonne added a cake to the list of food. "I think my mom will bake the cake for the party. She can add a hollow layer that we can fill with blue sprinkles. Not the gross wax ones, but the little flat ones or the crystals or the little balls. It'll be cute. She could even shape it into something. Like...baby booties or something. I dunno. Mom loves to bake."

"Aww, that'd be so cute." Andrea smiled at her. "Carol will love that."

"Do you guys wonder if we'll just...cut ties once the baby's here?" Lori whispered. "I mean...this is the first time we've made time for each other since Halloween."

"We've just been busy," Andrea argued.

"Yeah, you two are dating, I'm dating, and Carol has a baby and Daryl."

"She doesn't have a baby yet."

"But in two months she will. It'll be all about the baby, and I know I'll be there to help. I live here, but you guys? I...just don't know how you'll fit into her life."

"We'll find ways to find it," Michonne replied. "Thanks for your concern."

"I'm just trying to be realistic. I mean, I don't even think Daryl and Carol will last. He's all supportive now, but once the baby's here...crying, screaming, pooping, growing... I've been thinking about it lately, and I don't know. It freaks me out now that she's so close. I want her to have the baby, don't get me wrong, but I don't want any to change. I'm not ready for it to change, but it will. It has to."

"At least you're not the one who's entire world is going to change." Michonne cut a look at her. "If he stays or goes, we'll be there. We always have, and we always will. We're glued to each other, bound for life. We've got her, and we've got him. Stop worrying unless you know you won't be there."

"I live there."

"But only for two more years then we have college. You aren't in it for the long haul. None of us are unless we choose to be. I want to be there."

"So do I." Andrea met Lori's eyes. "You're the only one doubting."

"Of course I want to be there. I just...have doubts. I'm human. Sue me."

"We're not going to sue you. You have to figure things out, just like us, and just like Carol. You'll get there." Andrea set a hand on her arm. "We'll all get there."

"Slow and steady wins the day, right?" Michonne smirked at her.

Lori returned it. "Thanks, guys."

"You're welcome." Michonne lifted her pen. "So, are we doing flowers or balloons?"

– – –

Winter break had began, and Carol hadn't seen hide or hair of Daryl. He had avoided her at school, and he seemed to vanish like darkness in the sun. There wasn't even so much of a shadow of him. She wanted to talk to him, to work through what he'd shouted at her in her bedroom. She'd had time to reflect on his words, and they were issues and insecurities he had with himself, not just with her. She wanted to try and help him through that as best she could, but that wasn't going to plan.

Michonne and Andrea were on their way to the airport because the Harrisons were spending the holiday in Europe, and they wouldn't be back until next year. After that Michonne had to turn around and pack, because she was spending the holiday with her grandparents in Michigan. Luckily, Caesar was staying in town for most of the break as his dad had business, and he needed him to watch over the shop. He kept texting Carol with updates on how slammed they were. They had prepared for it, but holy fuck nuggets, this was ridiculous.

"Are you sure this is a good idea?" Karen looked over at her daughter.

"Yes, I'm sure it's an idea."

"I said "good". A "good" idea."

"He won't pick up his phone. He's missed work. He never misses work. I'm beyond worried about him, Mom. I have to do this."

She sighed softly. "What if...he went back to his old ways? It seems like it was a very personal problem, and... when people need to cope, they can fall back on old habits. You might not like what you find in there."

"I don't have to like it. I just have to talk to him." She unbuckled her seat belt. "I'll be okay."

"Just... Do you want me to stay here? If he gets violent or yells again, I want to be right here."

"He wouldn't hurt me." Carol couldn't reel in the repulsed look she glowered at her mother, lips curled in disgust at the insinuation.

"I know he's a good kid, and he wouldn't hurt the mother of his child, but people can be...different. Especially if negative memories are involved. You don't know his whole story, Carol. I don't, but there are rumors...that worry me. I want to be sure you two will be all right, and I don't just mean you and the baby."

"I can take care of myself." She smiled with much effort and opened the door. "I'll have him give me a ride home. I'm not leaving until we resolve this, so...I'll call you if we don't get anywhere."

"Okay." She smiled. "Good luck, honey."

"Thanks." She collected her bag and stepped out of the car, minding the rocks that had hardened together due to the cold weather freezing the dirt. She made her way to the rickety steps, glancing back as her mom peered at her through the windshield, and she waved her off. "Go. Please."

"Okay, okay." She started the car and backed out of the driveway.

Carol inhaled deeply and reached out to knock on the door when it opened and there stood Merle Dixon. Carol swallowed. "Hi."

"Hi." He leaned against the frame. "Lookin' for Daryl?"

"I am."

"He ain't here." He reached out and grasped her bag gently. "C'mon, it's cold out here."

"Oh, thank you." She followed him inside. "What do you mean, he's not here?"

"He went to work early this mornin', hasn't been back since." He set her bag on the couch. "You thirsty? Hungry?"

"No, thanks." She frowned. "Caesar told me he called in."

He smirked. "Looks like the kid was lyin'. Probably tryin' to cover for him."

Great, just great. "Um, could I wait for him here? Would that be all right?" She shifted her weight. "We really need to talk."

"It's fine by me. I ain't got any plans till work tomorrow." He gestured around. "Mi casa es tu casa, 'cept don't go into that room." He pointed to what was once the master suite. "Lotta junk in there. You might hurt yourself. Or worse."

She nodded. "Thank you."

"I'm gonna take a nap, but make yourself at home. Just...if you and the boy do fight...or hormones take over, just keep it down."

She blushed. "No. No, that won't happen. Once was enough."

He smirked. "You sure about that?"

"I'm positive." She gestured to her stomach.

"It's different with a condom, but suit yourself." He headed back to his bedroom and closed the door.

She shook her head, not going to go there, and she looked around the room. It was...in much need of some TLC. The rug had to be...decent once, but now there were various stains and burn marks on it. The furnishings were...awful. The couch was all leather and all torn up, only a...blanket or possibly towel was thrown over the back, and the armchair was...worn to hell and back. There was an old TV and scratched up coffee table as well.

She turned to the kitchen to see it was a little better. It was clean and held only a few dishes, and the fridge didn't look like it'd fall to shambles if you poked it too hard. She swallowed and spotted the door Merle had gone through to take his nap and the door directly beside it.

She knotted her hands together. That had to be Daryl's bedroom. She didn't want to intrude, but he had seen her bedroom, slept it in it even! It wouldn't bardging in. He wasn't even home, plus he'd lied to her. Or had Caesar lie to her to. Although entering his room wasn't a punishment for him. It shouldn't be anyway.

She huffed and crossed her arms. Arrg! She wish it was so simple, but it was a hot complicated mess. She hated it that. She knew the world wasn't black and white, but why, for once, couldn't it be? Just once?!

"Mi casa es tu casa," she muttered to herself, running her teeth over her bottom lip and smiling a little. It was kind of a loophole. Merle said to make herself at home, and there was no way she could make herself at home on that lumpy old couch. She likely wouldn't be able to get off of it when he got home, so why not try out his bed? She could...see what he surrounded himself with, get a little peek at who Daryl was away from her.

She straightened her back and walked over to his bedroom door, her hand hesitating at the knob. It was his personal, private space. He didn't want her in this trailer, let alone in his bedroom. He would lose his mind if he saw her, but maybe he needed to lose his mind to find some answers. She didn't know, but she wasn't going to stop. Not stopping got them into this situation, so maybe it'd help them smooth it out.

––

"Who was that?" Daryl had finished with a customer and wondered if it was another customized order. They'd had several already, and it was oddly nice to deal with call-ins rather than walk-ins. At least the callers knew what they wanted.

"My dad. He's...lost again." He rolled his eyes. "I swear I'll have to spend Christmas just showing him how to use GPS."

Daryl smirked. "Probably." He removed his gloves and tossed them into the nearby trash bin. "He's gonna be back by Christmas?"

"Yeah. It's his only day off until next year." He smiled. "We always do Christmas together. He never misses it."

"Must be nice."

"I heard Carol invited you over. Can't you just...go?"

"No. We..." He averted his eyes. "I don't wanna talk about it."

"Is it about what happened that day we talked about the nursery? Or another day?" He narrowed his eyes. "Hang on, she's seven months, right? You guys didn't—"

"What? No! No." He said in a rush, too quickly, too...firmly, and he didn't like the look in Caesar's eyes. "No."

"Has somebody thought about it?" He took this moment of interrupted emptiness in the shop to tease Daryl. "You said no awfully fast."

"She's seven month pregnant. That's weird."

"So you have thought about it."

"No."

"You can keep saying no, but I know you have." He spotted a customer and turned to greet them. "Hello! How are you?"

Daryl sent him a glare. He did not want to talk about this with him. He was closer to Carol than Daryl, and he didn't want to tell her. He didn't think about it. Not on purpose, but his subconscious was another matter. He had dreams. A lot of dreams, but he wasn't going to go there. He went there enough in those dreams, and perhaps too far. He wasn't stepping back into that mess. It was already a fucking dumpster fire.

He slipped into the back to get something to drink and have a brief seat. He had a headache from all the Christmas music and Caesar's customer service, high-pitched "Hello!" greeting. He was tired of everything that was going on, and he was guilty and felt like an actual sack of shit. And now Caesar had reminded him of things he wanted to forget.

After that first time with Carol, after having feelings for her for so long, his mind wouldn't let it go. Like a dog with a bone, it just kept replaying all of it. He had woken up far too many times with the effects of the dream poking at his blankets. Then his mind got creative, and he had to wash his sheets for couple times. He did get rid of a lot of tension and anxiety over Carol bailing, but that was beside the point. He and Carol wouldn't mix like that again. It was a one time thing, and it wouldn't happen again. He afford to let it happen again. He had to be the adult, like she said. He would be eighteen soon. He couldn't...act the teenager and expect the world to be okay with it. It was time to do the adult thing, whatever the hell that was.

Well, he knew what that was. He needed to find Carol and apologize. He had been cruel. He had taken his issues and his past and thrown them at her. It wasn't fair. He didn't know how to make it up to her, so he avoided her. That was petulant. She deserved better than him running scared. He didn't know how to act or how to apologize without telling her everything. He wasn't ready for her to know everything. If she did...this became real. A real relationship, a real friendship, and he couldn't handle that. Reality was no friend of his, and he knew if this became real, he would end up getting hurt, just like always. That's why he didn't have friends. It was easier. Safer. Nobody could hurt him if he had nobody. Hell though, even when he had nobody, he still got hurt. He had the scars to prove it.

He lifted his cup of water to his lips and drank deeply. He wished it was something stronger. He wished it burned his throat and cleared it of the foul taste these memories brought back. He would love to relive all of his dreams with Carol, but he'd rather drink bleach than linger on what went down between him and his old man. He was glad the asshole had ran off. He hoped he was dead and buried and rotting. It wasn't enough, but it made him feel better. If only a little.

"Hey, could you come and give me a hand? We got a rush." Caesar vanished as quickly as he appeared.

Daryl flicked his empty cup and stood up. Maybe he'd think of a solution for his conflicts with Carol. Or he could think about those dreams and then look for a solution...

At the sign of the angry-looking customers glaring at him, it definitely wasn't going to be of Carol's sweet smile and feather-soft kisses. He'd just keep that for later. Or he'd just get drunk. What was the worst thing that could happen?

––

His bedroom was small, crowded, but it suited him well. The bed was pushed against the wall, a desk nearby loaded with school books and law books, and his closet had a broken pull door, so part of his small wardrobe was revealed. She spotted the shirt he'd worn when...they'd made their son, and her skin felt all tingly. She didn't think back on that night often. It caused way too much confusion for her liking, not to mention how her body responded to those memories. It was a little too much.

She sank down onto his bed, leaving her tennis shoes by her bag beside her on the floor. She found where he must always lie, because the bed had a dip in it. She leaned back against his pillow and frowned, uncomfortable. She adjusted herself for about five minutes then tried to fluff up his pillow but it was like a dead fish, so she used his blanket to help support her back. It worked well, and she stacked her hands on her stomach.

"Now...we wait." She stroked her belly and sighed. She was already bored. She didn't know how to make time move faster. She didn't even know when he got off, or when he'd get home. If he came home. He might blow off Merle, too. Ugh. This wasn't a well thought out plan, but in her defense it was made on little sleep and over breakfast with her father.

She closed her eyes and hummed softly. She didn't know how this would go down, but she knew it would be intense. It might unearth the real reason behind Daryl's need to keep distance between them, or it might end with him cutting all ties. He wanted to be in his son's life, she knew, but was this bad enough that he would just...stop all his efforts? He did have a lot of reasons to be angry and to be hateful, but it wasn't her fault. She had nothing to do with it, and he had nothing to do with it. The town was a bunch of assholes for thinking so little of Merle and Daryl. They put them both in boxes and refused to let them be anything else, so they grew up thinking this was all they could be. Until Daryl said fuck this and decided to become someone better. Someone more than anyone or even himself could think he would ever be.

She loved that he was challenging everyone who ever wronged him and himself. She thought that was amazing and brave and...difficult. He was overcoming a lot—the box this town had built around him and the one he'd built around himself—and he made it look so simple. He was brilliant and thoughtful, and he didn't let gossip change him. He didn't let the whispers and looks keep him on a path of destruction and waste. It was awesome, and that was why she wanted him in their son's life. Daryl had so much to teach their son. He might not know that, but he had so much wisdom he could impart. He didn't have to say a single world, simply be there and guide their son. If only he knew that.

She could see him there to help their son learn how to walk, to...lead him with a firm and gentle hand. There were various things Daryl knew and experienced that Carol didn't. He had a whole other perspective to show their son, one that couldn't be taught by an outsider but by one who had lived it. Daryl was right that she hadn't endured the same things he had, but he hadn't gone through the same things as her. They could use their lives and experiences to prepare and teach their son. Them being so different was a good thing. He would know both sides of life and hopefully enjoy the better half. She would try her best to ensure it'd be the better half.

"Hey."

She jolted and sat up, finding Merle in the doorway with a hand out to try and offer peace, to calm her down. "You scared me."

"I can hear your gears grindin' from my room, couldn't sleep."

"I'm sorry."

"It's fine. You hungry?"

"No, I already told you I wasn't."

"You're pregnant," he stated. "You're hungry."

"I could eat," she corrected. "I'm not hungry, though."

"Pizza or Chinese?"

"Is both asking for too much?" She liked how tomato-y cheese tasted on fried rice. She'd learned how yummy it was on accident, but it was so worth it.

"Fine by me." She was about to try and get up, but he entered the room and shook his head. "Stay put. I know that bed ain't easy to get out of." They hadn't been replaced since fucking primary school years. Merle's primary school years.

"Guess he broke it in well." Her skin crawled at that thought.

"He used to jump on the bed," Merle told her. "Busted his head on the ceilin' and stopped when he was nine."

"Oh." She frowned somewhat.

"He didn't bring chicks back here, if that's what you're frownin' about."

"It's not."

"This room is his room. Nobody else allowed, not even me."

She gulped. "Maybe I should go then."

"Nonsense. His shit is his son's shit, so stay and get comfy. I'll go out and pick up the food, some drinks—sodas, I assure you—and we can talk some."

"You wanna talk? To me?"

"Who else is there to talk to?"

"Well, I think he can hear you." She set a hand on her stomach. "That's what my mom says."

"Good, 'cause I got some things that might help him understand his hard-headed daddy."

She smiled. "I think he'd like that. I know I would."

"I know. That's why I ordered food ten minutes ago. Daryl told me you liked to mix pizza and rice. It's almost done now." He winked at her. "I'll be right back."

"Thank you!"

"It's what's family's for."

Carol smiled and rubbed her belly. "That's your Uncle Merle. I think you'll like him." She certainly already did.

– –

Daryl smacked his head on the bathroom wall gently, groaning softly, and he opened his eyes. He could still hear all the complaining about their speed or the temperature or why it wasn't snowing yet. He was tempted to just drown himself in the toilet, but that was disgusting. And he had more important things to do with his life than end it.

"You all right in there?" It was Caesar.

"Yeah, just fuckin' peachy." He reached over and unlocked the door. "Can I go home now?"

He smiled thinly. "Not yet."

"Great." He groaned.

"But soon. You're still a minor, so that works in your favor."

"Not favorable enough." He exited the bathroom. "Anything I can help you with before I go?"

"Just some pre-close stuff. Restocking. I think I can handle the line. I've called in our babysitter to help me once you've gone, and she'll be here soon, so I'll have her help."

"Cool."

"Could I ask you a question?"

"If it's about the baby or Carol, no." He met his eyes. "We're at work, so let's just work, okay?"

He sighed. "Okay. Fine. Let's work."

Daryl did all of the pre-close things Caesar wanted him to do, their babysitter arrived, and Daryl was ready to punch out. He just wanted to go home and sleep until school started. He had three more semesters before he was done, and he couldn't wait for that. He hated high school. He liked learning, but fuck all the pettiness and the gossip and all the bullshit. He knew college would basically be the same, but at least he would be working toward his career. All he was doing was working for a piece of paper. It would lead to his career too, but damn, if he wasn't so close, he'd just get his GED.

"You wanna take something home?" Caesar pulled the high bills from the drawer and counted them before tucking them into his pocket to put into the safe.

"Is this a test?" Daryl gripped the broom, halting in sweeping to side eye the acting manager.

"No, it's not a test. We do have some expiring meats, and they're being discounted tomorrow. You can take something home. It's like a bonus."

He'd rather have cash, but a bonus was a bonus. There was a lot he could do with that. "We still got that grill out back?"

"Yeah... Why?"

"I'm gonna use it." He looked over the meats he knew were going out of date. "I'll take a couple of those hams and some brisket. I'll pay for it."

"What are you gonna do with all of that?"

"Nothin' you need to worry about."

"Okay, fair enough." He crossed his arms. "You can have the fatty brisket. It has more flavor. There's three fatty pieces. But the ham? That's gonna cost you. I can give you a discount at best, but they're a hot item."

"That's fine." He headed towards the back to fire up the grill. It was only noon. He'd have time.

Caesar exhaled. What the hell was he doing? Merle didn't even eat that much. There was no army for him to feed. Was there?

"Lost in the clouds?" Mrs. Rhee teased.

"Huh?" He turned and smiled naturally. "No, just thinking about...someone."

"Someone special?"

"No, someone...confusing." He shook his head. "So, how are you today?"

"I'm well. I'd be better if it warmed up, but so close to Christmas, what can I expect?" She sighed softly. "And you?"

"I'm good. I'm...learning the business without my dad. I'm terrified I'll mess up, because there's no one above me here."

"That's a lot of responsibility."

"It is, but...I'll manage this business once I'm out of college. I like it, and it's crazy today, but I know what to do. Dad's...given me a lot of advice, and I've seen how he handles toughs situations. I think I'm doing pretty good. No one's died, and nothing's caught on fire, so...yeah."

"I think you're doing just fine, too." She smiled. "It's nice to see you so sure of yourself."

Wow, could he put on a show! He was flipping the fuck out internally. "You think so?"

She nodded.

"Thank you, Mrs. Rhee, that means...more than you can know." He inhaled and nodded to himself. He could handle this place when Daryl left. He would be fine. He had help, and he had experience with hell week. And if he couldn't handle it, he'd just have to find a way to handle it.

He finished with her order and smelled the food Daryl was cooking up. He was using his grandfather's homemade sauce, or as Granddad had jokingly named, the Martinez Marinade. It just stuck, so they went with it. It was Dad's favorite. Caesar liked the Baby's Brew—it's what Granddad used instead of the marinade 'cause it was stronger and had bourbon in it. It was sweet and spicy and brought out the full flavor of brisket. It also made the meat tender, and him hungry. God, had he had lunch?

The scent of the BB hit him, and he started to drool.

"Need a napkin?" Maggie stood in the doorway with her cousins.

"Maybe." He pulled out a smile. "What's up, Greene?"

"Ham hocks." She walked to the counter. "Ma's makin' her famous greens."

"Can I come home with you?"

"Trust me, you don't want to come home with us." Enid browsed the sauces neatly displayed on a stand. "It's chaos back on the ranch."

"It really is." This was a new voice, a voice Caesar had never heard before, that came from behind Maggie.

"You and your mom had to just show up out of the blue, Paul." Maggie was teasing. "And demand greens."

He smirked. "I wanted to go somewhere warm for the holidays, not the farm, but Mom felt the need to bring us back to see you guys."

"Family bonding and all." Enid joined Maggie at the counter. "I'm Enid Rovia." She had to be about fourteen or fifteen. She looked just like Maggie in a way, but she was a little more punk. She had a black choker on, a sliced up grey top underneath her coat, and her black jeans were pretty holed up, too. She had the signature Greene eyes and a beautiful smile. She was like the pocket Maggie. She was so cute.

"Caesar." He smiled a greeting.

"I'm Paul Rovia." He moved out from behind Maggie, smiling charmingly. "Though my friends call me Jesus." He was...interesting. He had both long shaggy hair and a long beard. He had the same eyes as his little sister and cousin, and possibly the same facial features, but it was hard to tell. He wore a long duster and beanie, and Caesar would probably hit him if he saw him in a dark alley alone at night.

"Which Mom deeply disapproves of."

He rolled his eyes. "I didn't ask for the nickname."

"Then shave."

"Not likely."

Maggie shook her head. "Anyway, I just need a few things."

"Ham hocks." He met Maggie's eyes. "I know just what'll go great with greens."

Enid turned to Maggie while Caesar filled their order. "Do you think Mom was serious? About us staying at the farm?"

"She sounded serious." Maggie leaned against the counter. "The city hasn't been kind to y'all."

"Maybe it's just life," Paul argued. "That doesn't mean we need to hightail it out of the city and chill out here in the country."

"You were caught in a robbery," Enid corrected. "You almost got shot."

"Almost but not quite. I managed."

"You shouldn't have had to!" Enid glowered at her brother. "Do you know how scared I am every time you run to the store? And you think it's okay?"

He frowned. "No, I don't think it's okay."

"Then why do you act like it was no big deal? I could have lost you. Mom could have lost you!" Her eyes filled with tears. "We already lost Dad. Why would you want to join that list? Huh?"

"Enid." He closed the space between them and embraced her, stroking her hair. "I'm not joining any list, okay? I just... I'm sorry. I'm not going anywhere."

Maggie rubbed her back. The holidays were rough since their dad had died, and Aunt Luce was just looking out for them. The robbery had been...awful, and it cemented Luce's decision to move back home. Sadly, her job wasn't so kind to her. She had to finish her contract, so that meant being away from Paul and Enid for a few months. Daddy had offered to watch them, and they had cleaned up the guest house Shawn and Jimmy had built. It was two bedrooms, but it'd be perfect for Enid and Paul until their mom bought a house when her contract was up. Her bonus would help, which was why she was upholding her contract. If she quit, she'd lose the bonus, and she needed it. Maggie didn't blame her, but it'd be rough for them to adjust. At least Enid had Beth at the same school, and Paul and Maggie were both enrolling in a new school this year. Maggie wasn't too happy with it, but there as no use complaining. Besides she had friends there too, and she'd get to hang out with Glenn and Caesar. It'd be great. A new year with new experiences. Good experiences. She hoped.

"You're still a jerk." Enid wasn't crying, just upset at her brother and their situation.

"I know I am." He smiled at her when she pulled out of his arms. "You love me, though. I'm your jerk."

She socked him on the arm. "I'm going to get some ice cream. You want anything?"

"A mint milkshake."

"Mag?"

"Cheesecake milkshake. If they still have it. It's the best."

"If cheesecake is spelled M-I-N-T then I fully agree."

She rolled her eyes. "You're insane."

"No, you just have poor taste." He gave Enid some extra money for their order. "It's hot fudge and brownie bites in mint ice cream. It's amazing."

"It's pretty much all cold sugar in a cup."

"Oh, but the cheesecake is kale and carrots."

"I didn't say that, but it's not all of that."

He shook his head. "I seriously judge your taste in everything."

"At least my taste in men is better than yours." She smirked and pulled out her wallet to pay Caesar.

"That's true, but you're still wrong about the milkshake." He watched Enid cross the street through the window.

"Sorry about that." Maggie handed over her mom's debt card.

"Trust me, I've heard worse." He gave her the local discount and ran the card. "A lot of changes this coming year?"

"Yeah. Oh, I'll be in your school now, though. It'll be exciting."

"Bet Glenn'll appreciate that."

She smiled. "Paul's gonna be there, too." She was playfully ignoring the Glenn comment. "Enid's in the same grade as Beth, so you won't attend school with her."

"Uh-huh." He glanced at Paul. "Are you a junior, too?"

He nodded. "I'm younger by a month, but we're the same age."

"Speaking of," panic filled her eyes, "your birthday's in a couple days." She'd forgotten. Oh shit.

"Yeah, it is. Did you forget?"

"No, just tellin' Caesar."

"...why?"

"Because I can. Here, carry this." She thrust the bag into his arms. "I'll meet you by the car."

"All right." He left with the bag and met Enid by the car.

"I gotta take one of his Christmas gifts and use it as a birthday gift." She groaned. "I hate his birthday. It's so close to Christmas."

"Doesn't help the Jesus nickname," he mused.

"No, it doesn't." She giggled. "I gotta go, but thank you."

He handed the receipt and card. "Merry Christmas. I'll see you next year."

"See you. Happy Christmas." She grinned and hurried out to catch her cousins.

Paul and Maggie would be attending their school. Glenn would love that, and maybe Caesar could make a less closed off friend. He respected Daryl and did like him, but...man, they were two seconds from strangers. If he ever went missing, Caesar would have no clue how to help. He didn't know where he liked to hang out. He didn't know where he lived from the top of his head. He didn't even know his middle name for fuck's sake. If Daryl didn't know his middle name, he'd shit, because Dad constantly called him by his full name. It was annoying, and he only did it to get his attention. It wasn't his fault people liked to talk to him when he filled their orders. He was just a friendly person, but Dad had to get all Caesar Julio M Martinez. The M didn't stand for anything. It was just his grandfather's name. Like Jay, but M. Yeah, his great-grandparents weren't creative.

"Am I good to go?" Daryl was suddenly in front of him.

He jolted. "How long have you been standing there?"

"Long enough to worry about your vision." He smirked. "Am I good to go? The meat's about done."

"Yeah, that's fine."

"Thanks."

"Need any help packaging up the meat?"

"I'm gonna use those cheap bakin' pans we have leftover from Halloween. The ones y'all forgot about, the ones y'all had me get at eleven at night specifically for the party."

Caesar chuckled nervously. "We value you as an employee and friend."

"I'm just fuckin' with you." He smirked. "See ya."

"Oh, uh, see you!" He called after him, glad to see him in a better mood. He wondered why, but he couldn't keep his head up Daryl's ass. He had his own shit to work through. Like the rapidly disappearing pork section and the holiday herb mix they'd just put out. It was awesome, but damn, people. He just put out that display, and it looked like it'd been up for a year it was so beat up. There was no winning this holiday season.

––

Daryl pulled up at his location and slipped out of the car, finding an old friend there with a wide smile on his face. "What?" He zipped up his coat and opened the passenger side door.

"Nothing," Gabriel assured him. "Just here to lend a hand."

"Might need more than just you. I brought a lot."

"I'll call for some help then."

Daryl and Gabriel, with the aid of six other volunteers, carried in the perfectly cooked ham and brisket. Daryl nodded to Tyreese and Sasha, and Sasha was confused to see him. He had seen Ty a lot over the years, but not Sasha. She must have needed to get out of the house, so Ty brought her here to avoid any accidents on the road. Pregnant as she was, Daryl didn't blame him. He didn't want Carol out right now... Fuck. He'd actually forgotten about her. Damn it.

"Do you want to stay and help?" Gabriel asked the young man.

"Nah. They might run in terror." He was only joking. His old man had made an ass of himself here once. Daryl didn't dare show his face to the people on the other side of those doors.

"They wouldn't." Tyreese set a hand on his shoulder. "If they knew what you were doing for them, they'd likely applaud you. I know I do."

"Yeah." He shrugged his shoulder free and stepped back. "I ain't here for laud, so I oughta just...leave."

"Wait." Sasha caught him by the door. "Have... Are you the mysterious food donator?"

"The what?" He snorted a laugh. "No."

She didn't buy that. "Well, if you were, I'd have to say thank you."

"Just don't want food goin' to waste."

"Daryl, there are a lot of ways to keep food from wasting. I'm proud that you chose this one."

"Look, I gotta run. Carol wanted fries and...hot fudge, and you know how those cravings go." He waved to Gabriel and Ty then bolted.

"He won't accept any praise." Gabriel informed Sasha. "He's been dropping off food here since he started at Martinez Meats, and he won't accept a thank you. He won't serve the food, because of his old man."

"What did he do?"

"Joe came in utterly inebriated one Christmas. Daryl was with him. He was probably nine or ten. They likely had come for a free meal, and... Well, he caused a lot of property damage, injured himself and Daryl. We had to called the cops. He frightened everyone, knocked over and crushed the gifts we had for the little ones, and he attempted to use the bathroom on a potted plant."

"But that was Joe, not Daryl."

"It's hard to escape a negative and towering shadow, even if the man is no longer in town."

"That's awful. Daryl shouldn't be punished for his father's actions."

"I think he punishes himself more than others punish him," Tyreese stated. "Hard habit to break, but we're trying."

She sighed. "He's doing a wonderful thing. Not many people bring so much for the homeless."

"Or ensures it's soft enough for little kids and the elderly to eat." Gabriel gestured to the label Daryl had put on the pans.

She had no idea Daryl was this kind. It was beautiful, and she was so proud of him. He really was a good kid. Hell, he was an amazing young man, and she would repay this generosity. She knew just how to, too.

"Come on. We should get this out to the table. It'll put some smiles on worn faces." Ty grabbed a pan.

"Yeah." Sasha grasped a pan, feeling the warmth of the meat inside from the pan, and she smiled. Maybe she could break her teacher boundaries rule. She might not be able to thoroughly thank Daryl, but she could help with his son. She just had to have a word with Michonne first.

– – –

Daryl pulled into his driveway, looking up as snow began to drift downward and stick to the rocks, and he collected the pan of half ham and half brisket for him and Merle. He padded up the stairs and entered the trailer, finding Merle in the living room with pizza and Chinese food containers. He frowned.

"What the hell?" He set the pan on the counter. "The fuck did you smoke?"

Merle chuckled and flipped him off. "Pizza for lunch, Chinese for dinner."

"Right." He unzipped his coat. "I brought some ham and brisket from the shop. Amaro made some shit, and I took the leftovers."

"You always do." He hopped up. "Think I still got room."

"Don't doubt it." He tossed his coat into his room without looking inside and shut the door once more, helping himself to the still warm meat. He liked that Amaro blend shit. It wasn't for sale just yet since Amaro hadn't worked out which spice he liked better to accent some flavor or other, but Daryl liked the green label best. Caesar liked the red, but the guy liked the B Blend. It was for kids. Just like Caesar in a way.

"Good day at work?"

"It's hell week." He grabbed a soda from the fridge. "I'm glad I ain't eighteen yet. I needed outta there."

"Then why go in early?"

"I needed to...distract myself."

"There are ways you can do that here."

"TV sucks, and it's too cold to hunt." He shook his head and popped the top off his drink. "And I'm out of other things to do till school resumes."

""Resumes"," Merle snickered. "Okay, lawyer boy."

"Shut the hell up." He glared. "Don't mock me."

"I ain't. You're just... I dunno." He picked out another slice of meat and devoured it.

"I'm just what?"

"Good," Merle said without looking at him. "Better than me and that old fuckwad who brought us into this world. I'm real proud of you."

Daryl narrowed his eyes. "What did you smoke?"

"A little bud," Merle lied. "Good shit. You want some?"

"No, thanks." He licked his fingers clean. "I'm gonna shower and take a nap."

"Sure."

"What, did you drop a load? Do I gotta air out the bathroom first?"

Merle smacked his head lightly. "Probably best."

"You're fuckin' nasty."

"It's human to shit, little brother."

"Yeah, to shit, not kill with the smell."

He flipped him off and wandered into his room with a full mouth and hand of brisket.

Daryl tested the bathroom before scoffing and going to his room to undress. He kicked his boots off, not hearing them land, so it must have been in his laundry pile. He removed his work shirt that smelled like cooked meat and cleaning products, and he tossed it in the same direction as his shoes. He worked on his belt, ready to shower off work and just...forget about today and all of his looming problems. And if he couldn't forget, there were other ways he could distract him. Merle wasn't wrong about that. Only he wouldn't use drugs again or booze. Fuck that. He'd just...do the expected male teenager thing. He fucking hated being categorized.

He dropped his pants and ran a hand through his hair, now only dressed in his boxers and sleeveless shirt. He turned towards his bed to fumble for his lamp on his desk when his foot came in contact with a bag. It wasn't out of place for him to have crap laying about, but...he didn't own any bags. He had plans to explicitly buy a suitcase for when he moved out for college. So, what the hell was this? No way Merle got him something for the holiday, so...the fuck?

He bent down, digging through his pants pockets to find his phone and flicking on the flashlight. He saw a girl's duffel bag, and he hoped Merle hadn't brought company who just dumped their shit in his room. He'd kick Merle's ass.

He yanked the bag up to throw it out of his room when his flashlight shed light on legs. He ran the beam upward, finding Carol Callies asleep on his bed, and he immediately dropped her bag. His heart stopped, and his mouth ran dry. No fucking way.

––

Carol moaned softly, jolting at the sound of something falling, and she tried not to be bothered by it, snugging her face deeper into the pillow. She was bushed after eating and talking with Merle, and she just wanted to sleep. Sadly, the noise seemed to have roused her son, and she now had to pee. Joy.

She sat up, snuffling and rubbing her eye. She felt a light on her eyes and moved her hand, squinting at the light. "Could you...lower that, please?"

"What the hell are you doin' here?" Daryl ground out.

Her heart stopped. He was home. "Daryl." She dropped her hand instantly. "Hi."

"Why are you here?" he hissed.

"I—I came to talk to you. Caesar said you weren't at work, so...I um, asked him where you lived. He—he told me, and I just...uh, had my mom drop me off. We needed to talk. I couldn't let...that fight...be our last conversation. I didn't want it to end like that."

"I don't want you here."

"Well, I am here." She met his eyes. "So deal with it. We need to talk, okay?"

"No, not okay. It's not okay by a long shot."

"It's just a trailer. It's messy and...a little old, but I get why you don't want our son here. I get—"

"You don't get anything," he informed her. "But you need to get out."

"No."

"No? No. This is my room, my house, and I'm telling you to leave it."

"I don't have a ride. Dad's at work. Mom's with Lori at the mall. Are you really going to make me stand in the cold?"

"No, he isn't." Merle stood in the doorway, picking meat out of his teeth with a toothpick. "He's gonna take a shower and man the fuck up."

"You stay out of this," he growled.

"No, I think I need to be in this. Clearly you ain't helpin' yourself, so either you talk to the girl, or I do. It's up to you." He searched Daryl's eyes. "I ain't playin' around neither."

"It doesn't even concern you."

"It does. You won't back out and be a stranger to your son. I won't let you." Merle pulled the toothpick out of mouth. "You and her are gonna talk it out, no matter how long it takes. You wanna fuck around? Go ahead. Go right ahead, but you have less than a month before you're a grown ass man. You need to start acting like a man."

"Oh, you're one to talk!"

"Which is why you need to grow up! You don't want to be like me. I don't want you to be like me. This baby needs you to be better than me and most! Fuck, Daryl, we've been through this so many times. You've gone off on me so many times. Why the hell are you running now?"

He groaned. "This doesn't—I'm not—"

"You are. Don't be a coward, just talk to the girl. That's all I want you to do. That's all she wants you to do. I know it ain't as fun as what y'all last did together in a bed, but it's the right thing to do. Don't make me be the voice of wisdom. It's just wrong."

Carol chuckled lightly, and he smirked at her.

"What, are you two friends now?" Daryl grumbled.

"A bit. She's one hell of a poker player." He winked at her then turned to Daryl, poking his chest. "I'm gonna step out for a bit. I'm takin' the truck, so use this time. Be smart. I know you got a brain up there."

He glared, but he wasn't angry at Merle, just himself. He couldn't glare at himself though, not without a mirror, which he didn't have in his bedroom.

"See you two later." He glanced down then snickered. "Nice undies."

Daryl had forgotten he'd undressed, and he blushed when he felt Carol's eyes move down his body. Luckily, the only light was his phone light, and he covered it with his index finger. "I'm gonna shower."

"Could I pee first?"

"Yeah." He moved out of the way.

"Wait, could you help me up?" She held her hand out. "It's really hard for me to get off this bed."

"Right." He set his phone down on the desk and grasped her hand, pulling her up and using his other hand to study her by taking a hold of her shoulder when she was on her feet. "You good?"

She nodded and stepped aside to use the bathroom.

He realized then with the light provided by the living room Carol wore only a tank top and sweat pants. She also wasn't wearing a bra. It was probably cause of how her breasts have been growing, and bras suck—so he'd been told—but... Had they always been that big? Or was he just... Had he never looked before?

"Prev." Merle stood in the doorway.

"Aren't you leaving?" Daryl crossed his arms.

"I need the truck keys."

"They're in my coat."

Merle paused. "Don't do anything I would do. Y'all got enough problems without bumping those naughty bits together."

Daryl flushed. "We're not idiots. She's pregnant, okay? Really pregnant. It's weird."

"Thought about it?"

"Yeah, 'cause you just put that image in my head!"

"Uh-huh." He narrowed his eyes then ran his tongue over his teeth. "Just don't do it. She's a good kid. She doesn't need...sex, even if her body thinks she does. It'll confuse her. I doubt she even knows what to call your relationship."

"We don't have one."

"Well then try and have one. A friendship, a partnership. Fuck, a parentship. I don't care, just make it work and stop shoving your head up your ass. I'm tired of diggin' it out for you."

"When have you ever—?"

"A lot here lately," he cut him off. "Don't make me the good brother. I don't like how it feels. It's itchy."

"I'll bet."

"If you want to be in your son's life, Daryl, listen to what she has to say. I don't want to spend my life only seeing photos of my nephew. Do you? Or do you want to be there when he rides his first bike? Scrapes his knee? When he learns how to walk and talk?" He searched his eyes. "You might not want to be a father, but you made yourself one. You need to remember that."

"We both were there when she got—"

"No, I mean after. That night at her place with her parents? You made a choice to be in his life. Keep to that choice." He heard the bathroom door open, and he sent Daryl a stern look before leaving.

Carol crossed her arms. "It's all uh, yours."

"Typically is." He bit his tongue at how she averted her eyes. "Look...um, there's some food out there if you're hungry."

"I'm not."

Sure. "I'm gonna shower real quick then...we can talk, all right?"

She nodded and hugged her arms tighter. "Okay."

He noted how she hugged herself, but instead of feeling guilty for making her so insecure, he felt like an ass, because it smooshed her boobs and gave him more of a peek down her shirt. "Do you want a shirt?" He averted his eyes. "I got some in the closet."

"What?" She looked down and didn't see a problem with her outfit. "I'm okay. I'm not cold or anything. This is actually the most comfortable I've been."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. It's...getting a little uncomfortable being pregnant." She set her hands on her stomach. "Mom worries that means he's gonna be early. I mean, I'm barely thirty weeks."

His heart stopped and his brained emptied of its sideshow of Carol's naked body. Fuck, what if the kid did come early? Oh, God. He had not thought of that. Oh, Christ, please, no. He wasn't ready. He wasn't at all ready.

"I'm sure he won't," Carol quickly amended at the lack of color in Daryl's face. "I'm just...huge. I'm a planet, and that's probably why I'm just...uncomfortable. I'm not used to all of this...all of me." She sighed a little.

"You're not a planet. You're...hot," was all he could think to say.

"I'll bet." She suddenly felt the need to cover herself. She felt...insecure and uneasy with him even seeing her like this. "I think I will take one of your shirts." She grabbed the first one she saw and slipped her arms through it.

"No, you are. I mean, it's weird to think of you as hot 'cause of the kid, but you are."

"Weird? I'm weird? I look weird?" She looked so sad to hear him say that. Her entire face seemed to droop.

"No, no! You don't look weird. It's not weird because of you. I just meant if someone had sex with you, it'd be weird 'cause of how big—" He stopped instantly. "I'm gonna shower."

"I'll be here." She sat back down on his bed.

He didn't know how to make her feel better. He wasn't used to dealing with insecurities. He ignored his most of the time, but clearly Carol couldn't ignore this. He didn't know what to do. She looked the same, just round in the belly. How could she think she was so huge? Was it the baby? Did it play with her brain like that? Well, not the kid, but all those hormones and shit. Did he even know what he was talking about? Probably not.

Carol picked at a loose button on his shirt, peeking over at him as he just stood in the doorway. "The shower's not gonna come to you, you know."

"Huh? Oh, yeah." He chuckled a little and stepped out into the hall, glancing back as she lowered her head, stroking her belly. He sighed and defeatedly dragged himself to the bathroom. He had no clue what to say to her. Caesar would. Caesar would know all the right things to say. Hell, he'd be a better man in this situation. He always knew what to do...

Carol looked up when the bathroom door shut, and she pressed her lips together, reaching over and pulling her phone out of her bag. She might as well see how her friends' vacations were coming while she waited.

Daryl was in the shower for forty minutes, scrubbing himself down to rid himself of the smells of work, the sweat from hauling boxes back and forth and attempting to scrape off the dread of this conversation with Carol. It didn't work, and it left his skin raw.

He dried off in the bathroom and threw on sweats and a loose t-shirt he had on the counter. He was glad he'd tossed them in there this morning, or he'd have to walk back naked to his room to get clean clothes. He doubted Carol wanted to see that, and he didn't want her to see his scars. She had enough questions for him, he was sure. He didn't want to add a million more.

He found her on the phone, smiling, and he wondered for a moment if Caesar had texted her. He ducked his head and knocked on the frame to let her know he was coming. She didn't put her phone away, just lowered it.

"Look." She turned the screen around so he could see the video of Amy and Andrea being tripped into the pool by a distant cousin.

"Smooth."

"Right?" She set her phone down. "Good shower?"

"Long one, anyway." He plopped down onto the bed beside her, narrowly missing her phone, and he leaned against the wall, blurting, "Sorry, I suck."

"What?" She peered at him.

"I'm not good at any of this." He pulled his legs in and rested his arms on his upraised knees. "Babies...talking...being...good or helpful..."

"You are good and helpful."

"I'm not."

"Yes, you are." She turned with much effort to be facing him on the mattress. "You helped with the baby's corner."

"Tssh, sure, I did."

"The fight... It didn't mean every good thing you've done for me was erased. It doesn't work like that."

"I was a bastard."

"You were an asshole, and it was a fact. You don't need to use it to insult yourself or belittle yourself. I won't let you."

"We're too different," he whispered, his eyes burning, but his hair hid his eyes. "You and me? We don't mix. It's obvious."

"To whom is it obvious?"

"Everybody. I can see it, too. You...have everything a kid needs, and I...don't. Our childhoods are...utterly incomparable. You'd never understand mine, and I'd only be pissed off by yours. I have a lot of anger, and I don't know how to deal with it. I realized that...after the fight, and I don't think I can do it."

"Be a father?"

He nodded. "I'm too fucked up to ever raise anything good."

"That's bullshit."

"I've blown up on you how many times?" He looked at her now. "I've scared you how many times? And don't lie to me. I know I've scared you. I've made you cry. I've made you miserable."

"You didn't."

"I did."

"I was just as angry."

"Not just as."

"I was angry. I yelled at you. I hit you," she reminded him. "No matter how pissed you were at me, you never hit me, but I hit you. I think you have more control over your anger than I do."

"I'd never hit you," he muttered.

"You can find healthy ways to cope with anger," she suggested, not hearing his mutterings. "We can work through that together. I know you wouldn't hurt our son."

"But I don't know that."

"I do. You scream and shout and spit, but you never try to hurt me. You just need to vent. That's all."

"And if our son is screaming and shouting, and I'm screaming and shouting, how will that help? It'll make things so much worse."

"I'll be there. I won't let it get so much worse."

"How can you prevent it? He'll cry. He's a baby. They just cry sometimes."

"And you just get angry sometimes, but you're so thoughtful. Do you remember the camper? You cooked for me and took care of me. You caught me when I tripped. Not to mention what you did for me when those rumors started."

He picked at his thumb nail before bringing it to his lips to chew on it.

"You'll be a wonderful father, I don't doubt that. I just need you to get some help with your anger, especially if you're afraid that it'll cause issues with our son. If you think you'll abuse him, you're wrong. You acknowledge that you have anger issues. You acknowledge that you can't control your reactions. That's a good thing. If you can find out why you get so excited then...I'm sure you can overcome it. You're strong, Daryl. I know you are."

"How?" He pulled his nail from his teeth and dried the moisture on his thumb on his sweats. "All you really know is I can fuck."

"I know a lot more than that."

His eyes burned into hers. "Like what?"

"You're considerate. You're intelligent. You're compassionate. You're loving and loyal. You've been through a lot, but that doesn't make you a bad person. It won't make you a bad father. I know you'll be...amazing to him. How could you not be?"

He narrowed his eyes. "Been through a lot? The hell does that mean?" The fuck did Merle tell her?

"Well, your dad wasn't a nice guy. He did drugs and drank and raised hell all the time. If you look at how Merle was, it's pretty evident to see what affect having a father like that had on you both." She set her hand on his arm. "You won't be like that. You couldn't be like that."

"I was. I did all kinds of shit—smoked it, snorted it, took it as a pill. And I drank. I drank so much I'd wake up in random places and not know where the I was or what happened. And I...I had sex with a lot of strangers. That's why I got tested. I'd wake up next to some random chick and not remember anything that happened. Sometimes the condom would be nearby or still on me, but not all the time."

She lowered her eyes. "Oh..."

"And I had plans to get with you," he admitted. "I thought it all the time in class. I wanted to...have sex with you. Bad."

"You did?"

He nodded and focused on an invisible spot on his nail. "I had a condom with me."

"You what?" She stared at him with narrow eyes, lips slightly parted, brows knitted together. "What?"

"Yeah." He couldn't look at her. "First thing I grabbed outta my car when I saw you and your friends at that party."

"Why didn't you use it? You weren't drunk enough to have forgotten it." She removed her hand from his arm. "Did you want to get me pregnant? Or...just have sex with me without protection?" She remembered what he said that day in his study closet. _I've never done it without a condom, and...feelin' you raw like that... That made it intense for me. It actually was great for me._

"Did you seriously do it just to have sex raw?"

He shook his head. "All the people we bumped into...I must've not put it in very deep, and it got knocked out. I dunno, but it wasn't in my pocket when I got dressed the next morning. I thought I'd used it, but...then you're pregnant, so I know I didn't."

"I can't believe you."

"It's true. I didn't linger on it. We had the entire summer. I had to work. I was just glad to..." he trailed off.

"To what? Get some?"

"Yeah, okay. Yeah." He huffed. "I told you: I'm a guy. I like sex."

"Why did you tell me about the condom?"

He opened his palm and curled his fingers in. "Just wanted you to know."

"But why now?"

"I don't know. It felt like you needed to know. You wanted the truth, remember?"

She was quiet for a really long time after that, he continued to mess with his hands and fidget, and they just sat in silence. She would shift from time to time, crossing her arms over her chest and opening her mouth only to shut it. He eventually lowered his legs, and he was thinking about how much time had passed.

She opened her mouth once and shut it, sighing. "So what. It doesn't change anything."

He jerked his head around to look at her. "What?"

"It doesn't change anything. Condom, no condom, we're still in this situation. You at least tried to be safe. It was more than I tried."

"You're not mad?"

"There's no point. It happened. You liked it. I liked it. We made a baby. Those are the facts. I don't need to add in anger that doesn't change anything."

He was...pleasantly surprised. "Do you like sex?"

"What?" She blushed and smacked both hands down on the bed. "Why are you asking?"

"Just curious." He was amused by her reaction. "Would you like to do it again?"

"Not _any_ time soon," she chose to answer.

"But you would. Eventually."

"Why are we talking about this? This isn't relevant."

"Have anybody in mind?"

"I'm not answering those questions."

He crossed his arms. "I read that...you get kinda...aroused easily during pregnancy. Is that true?"

"Stop talking."

"You're...funny to embarrass."

"Gee thanks. Happy to amuse."

"Nah, it's adorable." He sat up. "And I really am curious. I know Paula gets horny. Do you?"

"Why does it matter if I do or don't?"

"'Cause...I wanna know if it's just me that gets you that way or...other people. Other things."

"Things?" She arched a brow. "Like what?"

He shrugged. "When I was younger, bras used to get me hot. The lace bras. But that just led to the chicks wearing 'em."

She chuckled. "I didn't expect that."

"What'd you expect?"

"I don't know." She settled against the wall. "Do you ever...you know?"

"I think we're a little too old for "you know"."

"Well, do you?"

"Sometimes." He felt embarrassed now. "Do you?"

"No."

"Really?" He eyed her.

"Yes." She couldn't help smiling. She wasn't lying, but she couldn't stop smiling under his disbelieving gaze. "I feel things, though. Like...after we had sex, I had dreams. I felt like I did when we were...doing it, but...it wasn't quite the same."

"What kind of dreams?"

"I'm not telling you."

"I told you about the bras."

"Yeah, you're fine with sex and everything. I'm not. I mean...I don't know what I mean."

He chewed his bottom lip and moved back against the wall to be closer to her. "Did you ever want to talk to me? I mean, after that night?"

"The first couple of days, yeah," she confessed. "I wanted to try and...make it right in my head, but school was out. I didn't know your number or anything about you. I had to work, and I eventually put it out of my head."

"Hmm."

"Did you want to talk to me?"

He shook his head. "I was... I didn't."

"Wait, what were you going to say? You were?"

"It's nothin'."

"No, tell me."

"I just... I was a little hurt when I woke up that mornin', and you were gone. It's stupid. We weren't together or anything. I just... I dunno. I watched you sleep after... I just sorta held you, and I wanted to talk to you, but you were exhausted. I let you sleep."

"What did you want to talk about?"

"Stupid shit." He chuckled. "School and summer plans. It wasn't even, like, logical. I just...wanted to talk to you."

"Then why were you so mean to me?"

"I felt like...I made the wrong move with you, and you gave off the vibe that told me I was right. I didn't know what else to do. I came out swingin', tried to...be like Merle. I don't know why. Maybe I was trying to protect myself 'cause I did...like you. I really liked you."

She smiled a little. "I really liked you. You were so nice to me, and...I did really like being with you."

"Yeah, I know. I remember your reactions."

"Well, yeah, I liked that, but I meant just...hanging out and talking. You made... You make me feel comfortable." She swallowed. "I...feel safe when I'm with you. Even when you're pissed at me."

"Yeah?"

She nodded. "Yeah."

He mustered his courage and asked, "Do you think...if I'd have just asked you out, we woulda had a chance? As a couple?"

"I think I'd be scared shitless, and I might have said no, but if I had said yes, I think so." He smiled to himself, and she didn't see it. "That's how I know we'll be good parents. We make a good team."

"We do. Somehow."

She rested her head on his shoulder, he tensed, but he didn't move a muscle. She reached over and took his hand, bringing it to the space between them and flattening out his fingers. He watched her carefully arrange his fingers in their normal flatten position before she set her own hand over his and weaved her fingers through the spaces between his fingers. His remained flat for a few moments before slowly closing around hers. She smiled and closed her eyes, and he rested his head on hers.

One thing that was true from their last fight: they weren't friends. They were something more. It meant more, and no matter what, it always would.

About five minutes into holding hands, Carol inhaled and opened her eyes. "What's that smell?"

"What do you mean?"

"I smelled it when I went to the bathroom. Is that ham?"

He laughed. "And brisket."

"Can I have some?" She pleaded with her eyes.

"Yeah."

She grinned. "Really?"

"Yes, really."

"Come on. I...need help standing up."

He helped her to her feet, she didn't let go of his hand until they had to get plates, and he dug out some sodas from the fridge. She dug into the meat, he mostly drank his soda and watched her, and they talked about...sweet nothingness. Small talk. He usually hated it, but...not with her. So far there was very little he hated with her.

– – –

Carol sat in the living room in her amazingly comfy sweats and tank top with a cardigan and a cup of creamy hot chocolate. Mom and Dad had loaded the coffee table with cookies, hot chocolate, fudge and coffee. Lori was buzzing from her cup of coffee, ready to attack the gifts, and Daryl sat quietly in the armchair with the breakfast sandwich Mom had given him. The soft sounds of _It's A Wonderful Life_ playing in the background since the Harry Potter marathon had ended and Mom couldn't stomach _A Christmas Story_ again. They had burned it out at Thanksgiving.

"Can we start?" Lori begged.

"Okay." Karen tucked hair behind her ear, smiling at Axel. "You first. I want to see you open your gift."

"Oh, boy." He looked over the gifts under the tree. "I'm guessing one of the bags?"

"With the snowman, yeah." She nodded.

He plucked the bag up and set it on his lap, pulling out the tissue paper and finding a wrapped cloth item. "It's a shirt, isn't it?"

"Just open it." She nudged his knee with her own.

"Fine, fine." He removed it from the wrapper paper and—shocker—it was a t-shirt. "Wait."

Karen smiled as he unfolded it. "I saw it online and thought of you."

It was a picture of Carol's most recent sonogram with the words Upgrading Soon written arched above it. It was actually cute.

"Wow, here I thought I was the only one to give lame and emotional gifts." He smiled at her. "I love it. I'm gonna wear it until it falls apart or I die, whichever happens first."

"He's serious," Carol told her. "I had to hide the last shirt I gave him after he kept wearing it. My friends thought he only owned that one shirt."

Karen laughed. "I remember. That ugly red one?"

"Hey, it was from their first sports team," he argued. "I loved that shirt."

"It was ugly," Carol whispered at Daryl.

"Okay, why don't you kids open some gifts?" Axel tossed the wrapping paper at Carol.

"Finally." Lori squealed and sat on the floor to distribute gifts. "Okay, let's see. Here's one for Mom, one for Carol and Axel." Lori handed them out. "Here, Daryl."

Daryl looked up from his sandwich. "Here what?"

She smiled. "A gift, silly. Here." She held it out.

"I...um, what?"

"Here." Karen handed him a napkin for his sandwich. "Open it. We got you some things."

"But I didn't...get you anything."

"Did you really think we'd make you watch us open gifts while you sadly ate a sandwich?" Axel mused, crossing his ankle over his knee. "We're not that cruel, and you're one of us. I was disowned by Carol's grandfather for you. Well, even more."

"Uh, thank you, guys. Really."

"Open it then thank us. I want to know what you think." Karen helped herself to a piece of fudge. A gift from a good friend. And it was amazing, too. She was gonna get so fat because of this friendship.

Daryl gently tore the green and white spotted wrapping paper, realizing this was the first time he'd ever opened a wrapped gift before, and he suddenly felt...excited. He quickly brushed away the paper, Axel's smile grew as Daryl pulled the gift free of its wrappings, and Daryl looked...stunned. It was a flannel-hoodie combo, and it was just his size. And his favorite color. How...?

"We noticed your coat looked a little worn," Axel commented. "There's another heavy coat somewhere under that tree, but in case you don't get cold easy... I thought you'd like that."

"Thank you." He lifted his eyes. "I...I do like it."

"I got the size right, didn't I? Carol wore home that other shirt, and I got the next size up. It was a little snug on her."

"It was Merle's when he was my age. I gotta lot of hand-me-downs."

He nodded. "Well, we didn't get you _all_ clothes, but we got you some. They oughta fit if that does. Wanna try it on? If it doesn't fit, we have the receipt."

"Uh, sure." He stood up and removed his leather jacket, slipping into the new jacket, and it...fit like a glove. It smelled liked a department store. He'd rarely purchased clothes for himself as he mostly saved his money, so having something new was...nice. He felt...less like a vagabond. "Fits good."

"It does," Carol agreed.

Lori arched a brow at her.

"What? I can't state a fact?"

"Here. This is from me." She held out a small bag. "For my nephew."

"Oh, no. I'm scared."

"Don't be."

She reached inside and moved aside the tissue paper and felt cloth. She pulled out a set of...towels? "Thanks."

"They're burping towels," Lori explained. "I read up on them, and they're really soft against baby's skin and such. Plus, look how cute."

Carol smiled. "That's sweet of you. But why didn't you wait till the shower?"

"Well, it's not your gift. It's for my nephew. It's his Christmas gift."

"Oh, well...he appreciates it."

"Trust me, his baby shower gift is much better than towels." She reached under the tree. "This one is for you from me. Oh, and Daryl, you have another one here. I'm gonna open mine now."

Daryl had another gift placed on his lap, watching them. Carol and Lori tore into their gifts while Axel and Karen sipped coffee and opened their gifts between sips. They were...so odd. This was so odd. He'd never done Christmas before. His mom had tried once, but the wine won the day. And her attempt was nothing like this. Laughter and food and teasing. It felt like something you'd see on TV, but at the clumsily wrapped gifts and the nearly tripping on tissue paper, it wasn't. It was real. It was...a family. His...family. Weird!

"Open it." Carol was holding out a small box to him.

"Huh?" He accepted the box. "What is this?"

"I dipped into my savings to get it." She leaned on the arm of the chair. "I hope you like it."

He peeled the paper aside and found a white box underneath. Removing the lid, he found a necklace inside. It was a compas engraved necklace. It was brass and held a purple stone in the center of the needle. "Ummm...ain't it a little girly?"

"Why? Because it's purple?" She pursed her lips.

"Well, yeah." He felt his ears burning. He didn't mean to come off as rude, but...it was a purple necklace. Shouldn't it be for Lori?

"Amethyst," she spoke, "is the birthstone for those born in February, which is when our baby is due. The compass is...because you already know where you want to go. It's just...a guide in case you get lost, with our son in the middle, so you know who to keep going for."

He blinked. "That's..."

"Stupid?" She winced.

"Thoughtful." He pulled it from the box and put it around his neck. It was a slim token, and he felt bumps on the back. He flipped it over to see a set of baby feet engraved on the back. "How much did this cost?"

"Not much. I found the series online, and the engravement was only a couple bucks more." She smiled. "You like it?"

"Yeah." He smiled at her. "I'll wear it all the time."

"Hey, come here." Lori waved Daryl over. "I can't lift it or it'll ruin the surprise. Come, please, and open it. It's like a jumbo gift from all of us."

He chuckled nervously and stood up, joining her by the tree. "Wow." It was jumbo. He sat down and began to pull on the wrapping paper while Lori tried to refrain from just stabbing it open and throwing its contents at him.

Carol watched from the armchair. Amethyst was also used for its strong cleansing and healing properties. It's also said to inspire and cultivate tranquility. She knew Daryl needed all of those things, so whether their son came before February or later in March, she wanted Daryl to have that. She could tell he had a lot to heal, and she hoped it help, even just a little.

"Carol, don't just stand there. You have more gifts to open!"

"I'm coming." She laughed at her mom's urgency and joined her by the tree as Dad went to get the get the camera. "It's fair game to eat the candy canes, right?"

"All these chocolate goodies, and you want candy canes?" Lori shook her head. "That kid's weird."

"No, that's me. I want a candy cane." She threw wrapping paper at her.

"Do you wanna have a wrapping paper war?"

"Maybe."

"Wait, wait." Karen caught their wrists. "Let me move the drinks and wait for Dad to get the camera."

"Okay, deal." Lori grinned. "Me and Daryl verses you and Mom."

"You're on."

Daryl opened his mouth to protest being a part of this when Axel returned, and the girls immediately burst into action. He dove behind the tree for shelter, and he laughed at them just attacking each other—and Axel. He had never known how...fun violence could be. When things were thrown around his house as a kid... No. He wasn't a kid. He didn't need to compare. He needed to duck!

"Hey!" Daryl shouted at Carol.

"Well, wake up!" She laughed at his offended face.

"You're goin' down for that."

She stuck her tongue out. "Bring it."

He reached for a wad of wrapping paper, and the game began. _So much for a Merry Christmas._


	14. Ready? Ready

**_Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot._**

––

"I miss winter break already." Andrea sat all tan and glowing across from Carol at the breakfast table. "I had so much fun."

"Without us," Lori threw in as she joined the pair.

"Hey, I missed you. I tried to call you guys. Nobody picked up."

"You ever hear of a time difference? We were all asleep." Carol smiled around her breakfast of carrots and almond butter.

"Michonne picked up."

"She's your girlfriend. I'd pick up for Rick at two in the morning, too." Lori crossed her legs.

"I bet you'd do more for Rick at two in the morning," Caesar mused as he sat by Carol.

"You're a creep." She wasn't going to deny it, though.

"Hey." Carol hugged him. "How was your break?"

"Hell. I worked, and I fucked up our shipment, and I want to kill myself." He dropped his face onto the table. "I never want to do that again."

"Aww." Carol rubbed his back. "I'm sure it wasn't that bad."

"I ordered uniforms for us," he corrected, "in women's, and I'm pretty sure I ordered lamb instead of pork. Dad doesn't even sell lamb. And we can't take it back. It's already paid for. It's ours. And it was...expensive."

"Okay, that's pretty bad." She rubbed his back harder and munched on her breakfast.

"Who killed him?" Daryl gestured to Caesar as he slipped into the seat by Carol.

"Himself." Andrea opened her milk carton. "Nice hoodie."

Carol looked it over and saw he was wearing the hoodie Dad had given him and beamed brightly.

"Don't get so excited," he muttered, trying not to smile at her smiling at him. "Just grabbed it on my way out."

"Uh-huh." She drank from her milk carton.

"Caesar." Maggie pulled Paul behind her over to their table. "Hey...you okay?"

"I'm great, just gre..." He trailed off as he straightened and spotted Paul. He blinked.

He had gotten a haircut, and he had also shaved. Andrea and Lori turned to look at him too as Carol's jaw dropped some, and even Daryl had a look at him. He was...hot. His short bangs were brushed over, hiding part of his face shyly, his eyes were gorgeous and piercing, and he had just enough hair for a stubble, and...hot damn.

Maggie rolled her eyes. "He's not that pretty once you get to know him."

"You're gay," Lori whispered to Andrea. "Is he really that hot? Or have I been staring at Rick too long?"

"He's pretty damn hot." Michonne smiled and greeted him with a hug. "It's good to see you, Paul."

Andrea shot up. "You know him?" _And he gets a hug before me?!_

"We were in dance together." She kept her arm around his shoulders. "He's often played the pretty boy. Or the Jesus."

"Huh?" Carol lowered a carrot from her mouth. "Jesus?"

"It made more sense before the haircut." His mother made him shave and cut it all off. New school, new first impressions or something. "You can just call me Paul."

"Maggie?" Glenn nearly tripped over himself.

"Glenn." She grinned and turned to Paul. "Are you good here?"

"I'm good anywhere. Go." He shook his head as Maggie ran off with her secret boyfriend. Or whatever he was to her. "Caesar, right?"

"Yeah, that's...me." He leaned back.

"Maggie and I were gonna ask if you could show us around school, but she's ditched me for Korean pastures, so...would it be okay for me to ask if you could show me around?"

"Uhh, sure." Why not ask Michonne? They had a rapport? "I have...nothing else to do with my morning." He rose. "I'll see you guys later."

"Bye." Carol waved. "How come we never got to meet him before?"

"He doesn't live in this state. Or he didn't. We had classes in the summer." She smiled sweetly at her girlfriend. "And he's just like you, Andrea."

"Great." She folded her arms. "We should get along then."

"That's not what I meant." She approached her. "I missed you. A lot."

"I missed you." She softened. "I had fun, but I really wish you guys had been there."

"Don't involve us now," Lori joked. "Keep to your little love bubble. We clearly don't exist right now."

"Shut up." Andrea smiled. "I love you guys. I just...love her more. In a different way, I mean."

"Ouch. That hurts." Lori spotted Rick. "I'm leaving before I start bleeding all over your love scene."

"Lori." Andrea wanted to apologize, but Michonne caught her hands.

"She's joking. Rick just came in." She pulled her closer. "Wanna walk me to class? There's no teachers the long way."

"Yeah." She nodded and remembered Carol. "Oh, right, um...we were doing breakfast."

"What breakfast?" Carol held up the empty container as Daryl chewed on her last carrot. "You're fine."

"Thank you." She collected her purse and left with Michonne.

"Guess it's just us now." She was bummed her friends had departed as quickly as they had come. They hardly got to talk.

Daryl sensed her drop in mood and ducked his head. He set his hand on her knee, palm upward, and she smiled, grasping it under the table. He peeked at her, she was happy again, and he asked how her New Years was. He had to work, but he was curious to know how the Callies got down for the New Year.

All too soon the bell was ringing, they lingered for a moment before heading to their homerooms, and Daryl waited until the last second to release her hand. He had to walk a different way to get to his homeroom, and they'd waited through the second bell. He had to hurry, or he'd be late.

Carol waved before she disappeared through the cafeteria doors. She made her way to her homeroom, finding Lori and sitting beside her. The room filled with the usual suspects, Karen went through the usual back to school speeches and surveys and handed out schedules in case someone had forgotten—mostly lost—their full schedule sheet handed out at the beginning of the year. Someone meaning everyone, because teenagers lost everything. Seriously, everything. It was terrible.

"What do you got?" Lori leaned over Carol's desk to see her schedule. "Oh, we have first and second together."

"We all do. You, me, Michonne and Andrea." Carol had just gotten their texts. "Oh, and Caesar. Cool."

"What, no Daryl?"

"He has it second period."

"He's a junior. Shouldn't he have already taken it? And didn't he have trig last semester? Or something mathy?"

"No. And it's AP, not regular like us."

"Oh. That's...awful, poor guy."

"Right?" She laughed. "But he loves it. It's another good mark on his record. He...He's gonna get into a good college."

"I'll bet." Lori smiled at her sister. "You really like him, huh?"

"We're having a kid together. We kinda have to like each other."

"Not kinda have to." She laced her fingers together. "I saw you two holding hands."

"He was trying to cheer me up. I have mood swings." She pointed to her belly. "Thanks to this guy."

"Uh-huh."

"I do."

The bell rang to dismiss them to class then, Carol and Lori headed to Calculus, and they found their friends waiting for them. Thankfully, there were no assigned seats, and the teacher told them she wouldn't do it unless she absolutely had to. Then the lesson began. Who would have guess math had so much English? Notes, notes, notes galore.

Caesar was sitting next to Carol with Andrea and Michonne in front of them, and Lori and Rick in front of them. Paul, who wasn't yet in their group, sat on the other side of Caesar in the back, looking bored out of his mind. Carol didn't blame him. She was pretty bored too. She was playing more with her baby than writing notes.

"You're so cute." Caesar whispered.

"What?" She blushed. "Did you see that? Is it weird?"

"No, it's adorable."

"This is so boring." She sighed softly, and he nodded with wide eyes. "How's the hottie?"

He rolled his eyes. "He has a name, and you're pregnant."

"Oh, please. I'm _not_ interested." She had, like he mentioned, a pregnancy and a...Daryl. It was a very complicated situation, and she wasn't adding more guys to it. "I'm just wondering how he's settling in."

"I'll let you know by fourth. We have the exact same schedule."

"Really?" She was surprised. That rarely happened. She and her friends had tried to have matching schedules, and they came close, but it as never entirely perfectly matching. Lucky! "You guys are gonna be best buds."

He leaned back in his seat and pretended to write notes rather than hear that.

"Are you gonna share a locker too?"

"Probably," Paul whispered over at her. "Maybe a drawer, too, if we get close enough."

She smiled and laughed soundlessly. "You have my approval."

He smiled. "Good."

"If you think I can't hear you," the teacher announced, "let me remind you you're whispering in a quite classroom."

Carol hastily scribbled down notes while Paul smirked and Caesar shook his head. Oops.

– – –

Carol went through the line to get a milk and plate of mashed potatoes, because they sounded amazing. Paul joined her to see what was even for lunch, and Andrea and Caesar were already seated with their vending machine meals. Lori and Michonne had drama for third, so they had second lunch. And Daryl had Test Prep, so he had third lunch. So, it was just the four of them.

"Could I ask you something?" Caesar picked at his Sun Chips.

"Sure." Andrea looked up from her phone, which was hidden by her shirt in her lap. Michonne didn't care much for drama yet. "What's up?"

"Are you sure you're gay?"

"Excuse me?" Andrea stared, her body shifting backward on the stool to physically put distance between her and Caesar at this offensive question. "What?"

"Like, are you sure you're not just...I dunno, Michonne-sexual? She's pretty built. She'd make me confused, too. If I was a chick, of course."

"Do you have any idea how rude you're being right now? At this moment in time?" She started to collect her things.

"I didn't mean to be," he apologized. "I was just curious. I'm sorry."

"How could you not mean to be offensive? Did you hear that question?" She stopped gathering her food and purse. "Seriously?"

"I'm sorry. I really am."

"And why do you care? Do you wanna date me? Or Mich?"

"I used to think you were hot," he admitted. "Back in eighth grade."

"Well...thank you, but I'm only interested in Michonne. And Emma Watson, but that won't happen."

"I think this entire generation is into Emma Watson."

She snickered. "Probably."

"And I wouldn't come between you and Michonne."

"Please, you might have a hot body and pretty curls, but so do I—only I'm better with my tongue."

"How could you possi...?" He narrowed his eyes. "Wait, were you the girl I was put in a closet with at Phillip's party?"

She nodded. "Guilty."

"I was fourteen!"

"And really not a good kisser."

"I've improved!"

"I hope so."

"Is that a challenge?"

"Not one we're going to test. I have a girlfriend who I love, and I'm happy. I'm...secure in my sexuality, and I'm really happy."

"I'm glad." He nudged her shoe with his. "And you were pretty bad in that closet, too."

"I was thirteen. I was on my last year of braces, and I was nervous. You didn't even touch me."

"I was nervous! The only girl I'd kissed up to that point was my aunt! And that was on the cheek."

"Well, I'd say we've both come pretty far." She had a girlfriend who she definitely could please. Well, arouse. They hadn't actually gotten far enough to test that, but...maybe soon.

"Is it weird?" Caesar leaned towards her. "I mean...not as gays, but...as like friends."

"No. It's...natural. We're already comfortable with each other, and we had a lot of making up for lost time." She smiled and revealed perhaps too much.

"Okay, horn dog."

"Oh, shove off." She kicked him lightly. "You're the one playing Twenty Questions. Don't take it home, all right?"

"Please! I have football practice. I'll just die when I get home."

She laughed. "Sorry. That's not funny."

"No, please laugh at coach running us thin. Someone needs to."

"What's so funny?" Carol sat by Andrea.

"Something terrible." Andrea bit into a celery stick. "Mm, do you have any more almond butter?"

"Yes. Dad and Daryl and Mom and Lori make sure my meals are balanced and healthy." She opened her lunch bag and handed the container over. "I just want these potatoes in my stomach. If I end up wearing it, I'm sorry."

"No worries. I'll just smear on my face. We'll match." Paul ate a sporkful of peas, only to subsequently shudder and force them down, tossing the spoon down onto the plastic tray. "Gross."

"Yeah, don't eat the veggies unless they're in a name brand baggie." Andrea unlocked the container and dipped her celery stick it. "And avoid the ribs. They're actual death."

He nodded.

"And the girls," Carol's eyes landed on Paula. "They're evil."

Paul smirked. "Not my type."

"You don't even know who she means." Andrea felt her phone vibrate and answered Michonne's text.

"I don't have to. I'm gay." He looked at them to make sure that wasn't going to offend them and start a fight, because he wasn't in the mood to try and justify who he was.

"Good luck finding a date," was all Caesar could think to say.

"Caesar." Carol glared. "That's rude."

"What? It's true."

"I don't think I'll have much of an issue with that." He opened his bottle of water and drank.

Carol set a hand on her stomach and sighed.

"Is he kicking?" Caesar knew that expression.

"Like he's a soccer player." She smiled softly. "It keeps me up at night, but at least he's awake when I'm awake, right? Maybe he'll sleep tonight."

"Or in third," Andrea jested. "Physical science is snooze city."

"That is true."

"Hey, but maybe you could nap, too." Paul swiped his bangs to the side, noting a few looks from the girls further down the table, and he continued. "I'll sit in front of you and slouch, so you can nap."

She smiled. "Thank you. I'd like that."

"I can do that," Caesar offered. "I have wider shoulders."

Paul looked him over. "You're not bad."

Caesar blinked. "Excuse me? "I'm not bad"?"

"I'd say a solid seven."

He looked just offended now. "Okay, pretty boy, before you got here, _I_ was the hot one. You're just the...new guy."

Carol snorted. "Don't get jealous, Caesar."

"I'm not jealous. I'm annoyed. It's thrown off my appetite." He grabbed his binder and headed for the library.

"I was joking. He doesn't have much of a sense of humor, does he?" Paul looked from Carol to Andrea. "Or he just doesn't like me."

"I'm sure it's not that." Andrea closed Caesar's chips and took his candy bar. She'd give them to him in third. The chips would definitely make it. Probably not the candy. "He...has his off days."

"He's been working himself to death, too," Carol added. "He's just grumpy."

He wasn't sure that was the whole story, but he'd let it go.

––

"Carol has an appointment today, so why don't we plan the shower? We can make it for the 15th of this month. That's only ten or so days away." Lori loosened up on her yoga mat, talking to Andrea and Michonne on speaker. "We have the cake, the location, the guest list. What are we missing? Anything?"

"A photographer."

"Paul can shoot," Andrea mentioned. "He told me about his photography class. He's really good, too."

"Okay. Anything else?" Lori tried to think of what else they might need. "Anymore games? We got the prizes, right?"

"Yeah. I got them last week." Michonne adjusted the phone in her hand. "We just really needed a date."

"Wow, so we did plan this thing. I'm impressed." Lori chuckled to herself. "I guess we should call everyone and let them know it'll be on the 15th at five."

"Sounds good."

"I'll talk to you guys later then."

Michone hung up and set her phone beside her on the bed. "So...we need to talk."

"Are you breaking up with me? Because if so, just do it. Don't give me all the reasons why you don't want to be me or how it won't work, just end it. Please, I really can't take an explanation."

"I'm not breaking up with you, babe."

"Oh, good." She exhaled. "Cool."

"I just...wanted to talk about us. We've been dating since the start of school, and...well, we've known each other for years, so it feels like we've been together for years."

"What's wrong with that?"

"Our best friend is pregnant," Michonne told her.

"Unless you've been lying to the world, I think we're good on that front."

"Sex changed all of our lives is what I mean. I love you. I really love you, but...I'm not ready for a change that big again. I know it won't be a pregnancy, but...sex is huge. And it's a lot to take in. Sex's physical and emotional, and...I'm trying to be logical about this."

"Does that mean you don't want to have sex with me?"

"No, I do. And we've talked about it. Googled it. Watched it."

Andrea made a face. "I regret doing that."

"Yeah, me too. Especially when my dad walked in."

"He still hasn't looked me in the eye." Andrea rubbed her arm. "And her mom wasn't too happy about it either."

"They're still trying to understand my sexuality, so I'll give them some time on our relationship." She met her eyes. "Are you ready to have sex? I mean...completely ready?"

"If it's with you, yeah. I love you, Mich, and I know it'll be awkward and weird, but I wanna be awkward and weird with you. In a good way. If that can be in a good way."

She smiled softly. "Do...you wanna try some stuff?"

"Stuff being?"

"Stuff."

Andrea laughed. "Okay, we have awkward down pat."

Michonne chuckled. "You've seen me naked before."

"Not completely, and that was before we were dating. It was bra shopping."

"Andrea, it was a thin, lace bra. I was trying to get you out of the closet. It didn't work."

"Oh. Oh! That makes...a lot more sense now that I'm thinking back." She blushed at how oblivious she had been that day.

"Yeah, you're a little slow, but that's okay." She reached out and grasped her hands. "C'mere."

"Why?"

"Okay, just trust me."

"Okay." She lied down beside her. "Is...stuff a nap? Because I could probably use a nap." She rolled her head to the side to look at Michonne. She was so beautiful, her eyes so dark and full of life and sweetness. Her smile...could light the world on fire. She was sure it could.

Michonne covered them with a blanket and lied on her side, stroking Andrea's hair. "Your parents aren't home, right?"

"No. Mom and Dad have business meetings all day, and Amy's out with Beth and Enid." Her heart fluttered. "Why?"

"You really need to relax." She set other hand on her stomach. "You're tense. I can feel it in your stomach."

"I'm bloated."

"No, you're not."

"You're making me tense!"

"How?"

"I don't know. I think it's from the "we need to talk"." She blew out a sigh. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry. I'll just have to make you forget about that."

She pursed her lips. "Oh, yeah?"

Instead of a reply, Michonne kissed her, and Andrea didn't realized how much she'd missed her until then. This was really the first time they'd been alone together. They had school, and Michonne had dance, and Andrea had to unpack and plan for the shower. But right now it was just them, and she wouldn't have it any other way. She really felt more at home with Michonne than in her own home.

Michonne weaved her fingers through the soft curls in Andrea's silken hair, feeling her relax. She had spent her entire break away from her friends and her girlfriend, and she was glad to have time with both. More with her friends than Andrea, but she was going to make up for lost time. While she wasn't sure they were ready for the next step, there were other things, and odd that Andrea didn't know what she meant. Maybe she just wasn't...quite in the headspace Michonne was in. She'd have to change that.

She slid her hand down from her belly to her hip, bringing her closer, but keeping her on her back. She could tell Andrea wanted to roll her over onto her back, but she kept her hand on her hip to keep her from doing that. She had other plans.

Andrea broke the kiss to meet her eyes, wondering what she was doing, and in those eyes was a request. Permission? Andrea was a little confused, but she nodded and smiled a little.

Michonne lowered her eyes, and Andrea felt her hand move from her hip. She was about to start giggling, because Michonne's fingertips were brushing over her lower stomach. Any urge to laugh died when Michonne's hand slipped underneath the waistband of her yoga pants, and she gripped her arm, but it wasn't to tell her to stop. Her breathing instantly increased, Michonne met her eyes, and Andrea's lips parted as air needed to escape through a wider exit than her nose.

"Are you okay?" Michonne whispered.

She nodded.

"Do you want me to stop?"

"No." She cleared her throat.

Michonne stilled her hand and kissed her, Andrea was taken off guard, and Michonne wrapped her arm around her shoulder. Andrea curled slightly towards her, grasping her cheek and parting her lips with her tongue. At the soft sounds of Andrea's moans and the use of her instant turn-on spot, Michonne knew she was good to go.

"Holy Christ." Andrea gasped, the muscles in her stomach clenching, and she gasped, gripping Michonne's arm tightly with her nails.

Michonne kissed her temple. "Does that feel good?"

She closed her eyes and dug her nails in deeper. "Fuck."

That would be a yes. Michonne drank in her face as she squeezed her eyes shut and gasped, surprised that Andrea liked the same things as she did. She wondered if that meant Andrea might like...

"Aah." She couldn't catch her breath. She didn't how Michonne knew how to do this, but God. She could hardly string any thoughts together. Holy fuck. Was she tapping...? "God, Michonne!" She hadn't felt anything like this before.

Michonne grinned at that. Okay, that was hot. She wanted to hear that again. And since they were here alone, it wasn't like they had to be quiet.

––

"I think these owls are so cute." Carol showed them to Daryl, who was working on putting the wall on the landing. Dad didn't fully approve, but he had little to argue with. "Aren't they?"

"I guess. I don't...really do décor."

"Okay." She sat on her bed. "Do you wanna talk some?"

"No. I wanna get to done and close MM tonight."

"You work tonight?"

"Just for a few hours."

"Isn't that overkill? And illegal?"

"No."

"You're a minor."

He glanced at her. "Actually..."

She lowered the owls to her bed and faced him when he didn't immediately respond. "Actually?"

"My birthday was yesterday. I'm eighteen."

"What?" She exclaimed. "Are you serious? You didn't tell me about your birthday! We could have done something! I could have gotten you something! We did homework yesterday!"

"And had a good meal. So what? It's just another day." He went back to drilling.

"It is not another day! It's the day you were born. It's important!"

"Not to me." He lowered the drill. "And besides...what I want, you can't give me."

"What did you want?"

"I'm not tellin' you. You can't help me."

She stood up and walked over to him, knowing he wouldn't drill with her so close. "Try me."

"To be able to relax," he opted, lowering the drill. "To completely relax."

"I could help you with that. That's easy." She smiled. "I have these really awesome bath salts, and my mom has this super relaxing lemon tea. Oh, and I have a really comfy blanket that I keep locked up for bad days. It's the best."

"Not that kind of relaxed." He couldn't help but smirk at her. She was so cute. Really.

"What... Oh." She blushed. "Sex."

"Not just sex. Drugs work, but I can't do that. I won't do those."

"Why is sex so important to you?"

"It's not so important to me. I just like it. And it's relaxing."

"Isn't...the other thing similar?"

"No, it's really not."

"Guess I can't help you then."

"Paula could," he joked.

"I think I'm going to throw up." She looked repulsed. "I thought you weren't... Right, you don't need attraction, just a goal to get some."

"When have I ever said that?"

"You just did."

"I was kidding. I like when you get jealous. It's cute."

"I am not jealous." She scoffed. "I just hate that you would let my tormenter blow you."

"I think she'd do more then that," he muttered.

"You're such a creep!"

"She hasn't messed with you in months, though, right?" He was geninuely curious to know. Did she keep her word?

"No, but I'm pretty much a walking baby sack."

He snorted. "Baby sack?"

"He's my entire stomach."

"He's a little bump." He set a hand on her stomach. "And I wouldn't get involved with Paula, nice to you or not. She's not my type."

"Will you date when he's born?" She met his eyes. "I can't keep you on pause forever. It's pretty mean, especially since we're not dating or anything. You have needs, and I can't... Yeah, no."

"Ouch."

"Daryl, the last time we did anything, I got pregnant. I'm _still_ pregnant."

"Get on the pill."

"Because that's easy."

"Look, don't do it for me. Do it for you. You want a relationship? You'll want to get physical eventually. Or it'll happen just like us. You really should consider it."

She reached up and removed his goggles. "I can't take you seriously." She brushed some chips of wood off his shoulder and kept her hand there. "I guess I could talk to my mom. My doctor. It seems smart."

"It is. I don't want you to get stuck in this shithole town with some asshole."

"I have goals."

"Kids weigh goals down, and I don't want you to be unhappy. I just... You should find a career and raise our son with me, and maybe you'll...find a guy you'll want to have more kids with. Maybe not. I dunno."

"Would you be angry if I did?"

"It's bound to happen. Doesn't matter how I feel."

"How is it "bound to happen"?" She tried to laugh it off, but his look killed her laughter.

"Carol, I know you, and...some guy...some lucky guy is gonna fall for you." His grip on the drill tightened. "And you'll have all that romantic shit you wanted to have."

"I guess." She dropped her hand and stepped back. "Maybe I'll travel with our son. I do want to see the world."

"Just make sure I still get my time with him."

"Always. You'll be in his life every step."

"Good. I want to be. Keep an eye on you. You got shit taste in men."

She scoffed. "I resent that. I liked Caesar."

"And that went...nowhere."

She rolled her eyes. "I think owls will work."

"Fine by me." He raised the drill to use it, and Carol hurried over to put the goggles back on. "I know what I'm doin'. I don't need this."

"It's a safety measure." She adjusted them and her eyes fell into his, lingering there.

"And this...is what?" he whispered at how close she was and how she stared at him.

She jolted. "Nothing! Just thinking what if he has your eyes. You have pretty eyes."

"Not like yours."

What does that mean?"

"You...have soulful eyes. They're...beautiful, deep...mesmorizing."

"I have my mother's eyes," was all she could think to say.

"You kids hungry?" Axel called down when it was too quiet for his liking. "I'm gonna cook a roast."

"I'll help with the potaotes." Carol slipped away from Daryl. "Umm, just come upstairs when you're done."

He nodded and watched her hurry up the stairs. He hit his head on the slab of wood he was working on then groaned and tossed the goggles onto the bed, getting back to work. He wanted to get this done so he could just leave. He really didn't know what his mind thought all the sex talk would do. He was interested in it if she thought about sex like him. He thought she did. She just didn't know how to say it. In another world...he bet she'd be pretty straightforward. Hell, maybe even kinky.

God, this wasn't the type of conversation to have in his head right now. Or maybe ever. He was an adult, so he needed to just grow up. He'd go back to his sleeping about ways when he was in college. He'd get better with protection, and he wouldn't get hung up on someone he couldn't and shouldn't have. He was too fucked up for a relationship. He didn't deserve a relationship, and Carol...deserved a hell of a lot better than him.

He finished up with his task and headed upstairs to find Carol alone. He was a little surprised. Where was Axel?

"What's going on?"

She cleared her throat. "We're going out."

"...out?"

"Yeah, like on one of those dates Caesar mentioned." She beamed. "For your birthday."

"That was yesterday."

"Belated. Whatever. We're going out."

"Who's we?"

"You and me."

"And...why?"

"Because I want to take you out." She bit her bottom lip. "And you must be hungry. You've been here since school let out, and you don't work until nine. Plus, the roast will take a while, and I'm no fan of waiting. I mean...you know how I get. Anyway, we have a couple hours. I thought...you'd like to hang out. Eat. Maybe get a gift."

"I don't need a pity date."

"It's not pity. I want to take you out."

"As friends?"

"As friends, yes." She studied him. "We won't do that thing you want to do, but we can still have fun."

"Nobody said I wanted to do that with you anyway," he forced himself to retort.

She swallowed and tried to regain her smile, but that stung. "There's a steakhouse that offers a free meal for your birth month. Um, we could go there."

"Okay. That doesn't sound too bad."

"Good. I'll go change. I look...ridiculous. I'll be quick."

"You look comfortable. You don't need to change."

"Yeah, I do. We're going out. I look sloppy."

"And I don't?" He was actually wearing the new clothes he'd gotten, so he looked pretty good.

"Yeah, you look decent. Just give me five minutes."

"It takes you five minutes to get into pants on a good day, not including the shirt. We can just order in."

"But we do that all the time. It's your birthday. It's meant to be special."

"Says who? It's just a day on a calendar." She started to cry, and he felt his heart drop. "No, shit. Don't cry."

"Why don't you care about your birthday? It _is_ important. I want to celebrate it with you."

"Okay. We can go out. Go uh, pick out an outfit. I'll wait."

"Or is it me? Do you just not want to be seen with me?" She moistened her lips. "That's it, isn't it? I'm just...this ugly mess that you don't want to be seen with. I embarrass you."

"What? No. That's stupid. Don't talk like that."

"Just go out and do what you want. Be with whoever you want. I'm sorry I tried to keep you all to myself. It's stupid and selfish. It's unreasonable. You'd likely have more fun out alone than with me. I'm a freaking puff."

"No, you're not. You're perfect, okay? I don't care who sees me with you. I just know you aren't comfortable in any of your clothes. Not a single outfit other than that one. That's why it's so washed out, because you wear it all the time. I don't want you to be uneasy or made fun of trying to celebrate a day that means nothing to me. You're not...fat. You're not ugly. And you're not unreasonable. I haven't been with anybody since you, and before that? It'd been months. I can handle no sex, okay? It doesn't bother me. I was just messing with you, because I could. I'm sorry. Please, please don't cry."

She rubbed her eyes and sniffled.

"Look, why don't you just...wear my hoodie? Or my shirt? Who cares if we look stupid or ridiculous. At least we'll get a free meal, and they can kiss my ass for all I care."

She gulped. "You don't think I'm ugly?"

"Why would I?"

"You haven't see me naked lately."

"Bet you're still as hot as when we made that kid."

She lowered herself down onto the couch. "I'm a mess."

"No, you're not."

"I am. I'm hormonal and...emotional. I cried over Lori eating the last of the cereal this morning. I—I got mad, because Dad wasn't walking fast enough. I feel like I'm crazy."

"You're just going through a lot."

"I'm trying to pretend like everything's okay, but I'm freaking out. I'm due next month. I'm not ready for this. I'm not at all ready. I'm so scared, Daryl."

"So am I, but we'll get through it."

"What if you want to leave? What if I want to leave? What if we can't do this?" Tears brimmed up in her eyes again. "I'm only sixteen, Daryl. I don't know what I'm doing."

"I've never known, but here I am. We just...gotta go with. We'll figure it out as it comes. We've gone through doubts and fights and tears long before right now." He walked over to her. "I don't have your talent for words, but I'm gonna be here. And you'll do great. He'll love you. How could he not? He'll probably cry when I touch him."

"I doubt that." She wiped her eye.

"I don't. Now...let's get a steak and something sweet, even with those weird things you like on them."

"It's not weird."

"It is weird." He smirked and held his hand out. "C'mon...please."

She snuffled and accepted his hand, standing up. "I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize. It's okay. I...slipped up, too."

"What do you mean?"

He exhaled. "For my birthday...I drank. A lot. I actually don't even remember yesterday."

"Daryl."

"What? You just freaked out. I freaked out too, but with whiskey."

"How did you even get that? You're eighteen, not twenty-one."

"I know people."

"Well, un-know them."

"It was the last time." Until he was able to buy it himself. "And technically the first time this year."

"Why can't you just talk about it? It helps. You don't have to cry like me, but everything seems to upset me here lately."

"I just don't talk. It ain't my thing." He shrugged and let go of her hand. "If we get done with dinner before eight, I'll help you with the owls."

She smiled. "You mean that?"

He nodded. "Yeah."

"Thank you."

He glanced at his watch and hoped they did have time. He didn't have to work so much as meet Amaro, but still. He wanted to be on time, but he also wanted to help her with the nursery. He didn't want to leave her alone. She was emotional lately, and he wanted to be around. Especially if her water broke. Or if she started to have contractions. Or the faux ones. It was about that time. Or it would be.

––

Dinner had been nice. Carol seemed to cheer up, and she didn't feel embarrassed by her lack of "decent clothes". Daryl was glad to see her mellow out some. The steak also helped. She liked meat a lot more lately, and she didn't put anything weird on it. He was glad for that, too. He could stomach watching her eat some of her cravings, but some were just...fucking gross.

By the time they returned to her place, she was out cold. He didn't bother waking up. He used the backdoor to her bedroom and lied her in bed, removing her shoes and tossing a cover over her. He had a few minutes till he had to meet his boss, so he didn't bother to leave a note, just locked the door back with the spare key.

Amaro was waiting for him outside the butchery, Daryl had an apology all worked out in case he was pissed, but as he closed the space between the, the frown he saw became a cheerful, greeting smile. He still kept the apology on the tip of his tongue, though Amaro was a straightforward guy. He wouldn't be mad and pretend to all smiles and cheer for you. He didn't play like that. That was one of the reasons why Daryl liked to work with him. He didn't bullshit. He was...just a geniunely happy and thoughtful dude.

"You're late." Amaro crossed his arms over his chest. "How's the baby doing?"

"Uh, full and asleep." He hadn't felt him move at all when he tucked Carol in.

"Any names yet?"

"No. We talked about it a little at dinner, but we didn't get anywhere." He met his eyes. "I'm sorry I'm late. Carol—"

"Don't worry about it." He smiled at him. "Saved me from having to listen to another story by Jen."

He nodded. "What did you want to talk to me about? If it's about my attitude towards hell week, I can explain."

"No, don't bother. I get hell weeks. I've bitched my way through a lot of them." He guided Daryl towards the empty store beside the butchery. "Do you remember when I said I was going to purchase this building? To try and keep this street from looking like it was running out of business and such?"

"Yeah."

"Well, I did buy it." He pulled the key from his pocket. "Wanna take a look around with me?"

"Uh, sure."

They entered the building, and Daryl believed it was once a candy shop. It still smelled of taffy and candy apples, so he was sure he was right on that. Amaro flicked the lights on, and they walked through the actually spacious little store. Amaro stopped in the middle of the back room, and Daryl looked at him.

"I'm gonna use this as a bakery." He tucked his hands in his pockets. "My grandfather worked with both venison and puff pastries. I have a few recipes of his, and they've sold well on Valentines Day. I think this'll make a good bakery, and I've already found a chef."

"Yeah?" He turned to him.

"I'll be interviewing employees in the coming weeks, so they'll be in and out of the butchery. I have to remodel this place, add some of that Martinez flare." He smirked. "What do you think?"

"Uh, it'll do well. I mean, they are good pastries, and people love the deals that involve them." Plus with the other bakery moving further out, it was good timing.

"I was thinking...when this place is up and running, maybe Carol could work here."

Daryl blinked. "Really? Carol? My Carol?"

"Oh, sorry, I didn't know you had any claim."

He blushed. "I—I don't. I was just tryin' to...be sure you meant her. I don't remember her last name."

He busted out laughing. "You're adorable. Ahh, so is young love. I miss it. It's...very pure, especially if it's real."

Daryl frowned. "I don't... We don't feel...like that towards each other."

Blind young love. Adorable. "Right." He moved towards him. "I've heard good things about Carol from Caesar, and while Hershel may win her, I'd still like to try and get her in here. With me so close, I could babysit your son. Unless you wouldn't be comfortable with that," he quickly added.

"No, that'd be fine with me. Carol might not like it. She doesn't know you, though."

"Well, if she works here, she will. I'm going to be spending a lot of time here when it opens to make sure it's a steady business. I have my cousin coming down to help you all out at the butchery."

"Umm...cool?"

"The remodel work will take a few short weeks." He motioned his head towards the back, and Daryl followed him. "But it shouldn't be too extensive."

"I wouldn't know. I ain't too...informed on what a bakery needs."

"Me either." He chuckled and started up a set of narrow steps. "But I did find this when I was snooping around. Is that even snooping? I do own the place."

"I think it's just lookin' at that point."

"I felt like I was snooping. Perhaps it's because of what I found."

There was a hall at the top of the stars and a door with a peephole. Daryl frowned and eyed it, Amaro pulled a key from his pocket and unlocked it, and they stepped inside. It was a dusty room covered with sheets, and Daryl wasn't sure what they were doing in there.

"I thought this would make a good office." He flicked a light on. "But it's not an office."

"It's not?" Daryl repressed a cough at dust that must have come off the light switch. Damn, that hit his lungs.

"It's an apartment." He gestured behind him. "There's a full kitchen, bathroom, bed and guest room."

"Huh."

"It needs some touch up work, new furnishings and a new layer of paint, but it's... Well, it's liveable. It's quaint." He was smiling again. "What do you think of it?"

"It...is what it is." He shrugged. "What are you gonna do with it?"

He sighed. "I forget for someone so smart, you miss hints." Or perhaps kindness. "It's yours, Daryl. I want to give it to you."

His eyes widened. "What?"

"You'll need the room when your son gets here, and it's close to work and school. I'm gonna have my decorator look it over while this entire building is being renovated, but it's just to be sure it's really okay. She has a good eye. I don't know what I would have done without her." He headed into the kitchen. "I'll do the basic replacements a landlord ought to. I'll redo the floors, a new stove and fridge, and I'll buy a new bed for you. The furnishings are in good condition, so they oughta be fine. You can replace them if you'd like, of course. I can help with removing them, because that hall is extremely narrow."

Daryl's brain had stopped. He hadn't processed anything Amaro had said to him. He couldn't believe what he'd just heard. He just...had an apartment? No strings attached? It was an apartment in the back of the new bakery, and it was all his. Carol would be working downstairs once their son was born, and Daryl would be next door. He would be...able to have his son over all the time. There were no dark shadows lurking about. This...placed looked sturdy and clean. A fresh start. Just in time for his son to enter the world.

"I... I can't accept this," Daryl told him.

"And why not? Too close to work? I wouldn't call you in just because I know you're next door. You have a busy life outside of work, and I fully approve of that."

"No, it ain't that. I just can't live here. I—It's a real nice offer, but—"

"But what? It's no handout. I will come up with a monthly fee, and I expect you to keep it neat. It'll be your place, but there will be a baby here. And no parties or alcohol. I will set a curfew during the school year. I know you're an adult, but...it's just for my sake. I do worry about you."

"Why not give this to someone else? Why me?"

"You live in a two bedroom trailer. Your road is a nightmare on the best of days. Your couch probably has diseases." He met his eyes. "I don't want you or your son living in those conditions. You need a place to grow into this new role as a father, and I need someone to pay rent. I trust you."

He lowered his eyes. "How much of a fee?"

He grinned. "Something reasonable, considering you have a newborn and have to meet his needs. I'll figure about 150 a month. I do know what you make, and you'll be able to get more hours now that you're an adult."

"Just 150?"

"Do you want me to raise it?"

"No, but...does that include water and power and cable?"

"Yeah."

Wow, that was an amazing deal. Shit. "When would that rent start?"

"Immediately. If you want to pay in advance, that's fine."

"When could I move in?"

"Once it's remodeled. I can have it start as soon as tomorrow morning. It'll only take a day or two."

He nodded. "Could I look around?"

"Yeah, go ahead."

The living room was about double size of his old bedroom, and it would be great for his son to play in and to run around in when he was big enough. It'd be perfect for that. He would repaint it a different color. He might ask Caesar or Carol what they thought would look best, but this pea green shit was just that—shit. He wasn't going to be able to stand looking at it every damn day. He'd burn this place to the ground before he could stand it.

The kitchen was...pretty big. Well, maybe it wasn't. He had seen the Callies' kitchen, and it was a bit bigger than this, but it certainly was a hell of a lot bigger than his old kitchen. He might be able to cook something in here too. The oven didn't even work in his old kitchen, and the stove top had to be coaxed into working. It was impossible to eat anything other than junk. It was a good thing he liked to be physical, or he'd be fat. So would Merle.

The bathroom was similar to Carol's. The shower/tub combo was the first thing on the right wall then there was a small, half wall at the end of it where the toilet was, and across from that was a sink and a spacious counter. There was also sliding doors opposite the tub, and he opened them to reveal and set of hampers and hangers. He could toss his laundry in there, maybe stock it with towels and toilet paper and soap. He could put some of his son's stuff in here, too. When he was big enough to be able to use the tub, that was.

And the guest and master bedrooms were...awesome. The guest would be perfect for his son and the many things he would need, and the master bedroom was...huge. He had a closet to himself, space enough for a desk or chairs or something, a bed that wasn't a million years old—once Amaro replaced it—and there was a half bath off the side. He had never had a half anything. Unless it was beer or drugs, but that didn't count. It wasn't like this, but it did make him feel the same. Fuck. He was elated. This was so cool.

Amaro peeked down the hall to see Daryl leaving the master bedroom, smiling to himself, and Amaro slipped back to the living room, trying not to look like he'd eaten forty hangers. He cleared his throat and took a deep breath to calm his composure, and he straightened his shoulders as Daryl entered.

"So?" He played it clueless.

"Yeah. I'll take it. Thank you so much, sir." He smiled, and it was small, but it was the first time Amaro had seen him smile in the years he'd known the boy. "Um, I can pay the first rent when I get paid."

Yes! "Okay, take your time. I'll have it ready for you as soon as possible, but here's a key." He handed it over. "I have one, too, but that's to be expected. I'll always knock before I enter, and I'll definitely call before I come over. Uh, I don't have many rules, just the no booze or parties. Uh, try and keep the home drama here, too. Being so close, it could easily carry over."

"I don't do drama. It'll be fine." He accepted the key. "Thank you, sir, really. I can't...express how much this means to me, how much I needed this."

"You're very welcome, and stop calling me sir. My own son doesn't call me sir. It makes me feel like one of my partners is going to walk out of the shadows and drag me back to meetings." He shuddered, and Daryl chuckled. "Anyway, um, if you wanna chill out there and get a feel of the place, that's fine. Just again give me a couple days to get it...back in shape."

"'Course."

"If you wanna show Carol or Caesar or your brother, that's fine, just lock up. Oh, and there's a back door you can use, too. It uses the same key, so if you need to leave late at night or I'm not here, just use that key. I'll be installing a lockpad, but I'll give you the code to that." He pressed his lips together in thought. "I think that's all. At least for now. Um, I'll give you a call when you can move in your things, okay?"

"Yeah."

"All right." He smiled. "Have a good night, Daryl."

"You, too." He ran his eyes over the apartment.

"Oh, right, silly me." He patted his pockets and pulled out an envelope. "I forgot to give this to you. Um, happy belated birthday."

"Thank you, s—uh, Amaro."

He nodded and departed, knowing Caesar would be waiting to see how it went. They were far too invested in Daryl's life, but when on one else was, someone had to be.

Daryl sat down on the couch—his couch—and looked over the living room once more before leaning back and running a hand through his hair, chuckling. "Holy fuck." He wanted to pinch himself to make sure he wasn't dreaming. He wasn't. He knew he wasn't. This was real. This had happened. He had a home. A clean and new home. God damn. Maybe this would be a good year for once. Shit.

He opened the envelope Amaro had given him and pulled out a card, sitting up to read it.

 _Today you're a man. It's difficult to write that, because I've known you since you were a boy. A messy-haired, cut up-kneed little boy who didn't take orders or listen to anything anybody said. I've watched you grow up, and it amazes me. You amaze me. You've gone through so much, and you've changed so much. You're a completely different person today than you were yesterday, and it does my heart good. You become a better man every day, and you shouldn't ever stop striving to do better. You do so much now, and there are likely things you do that I don't know about, and it does my heart good._

 _You've become quite a brilliant young man. You know the system, and you know what you can and will do to meet your goals. You're inspire me to do my best and to keep pushing myself. Don't ever let someone else's doubt ruin you. Fuck them. They don't know what they're talking about. You will achieve much, and nobody will stop you. Just keep pushing forward and keep yourself, and I know you'll go far._

 _I want you to know I'm very proud of you. I'm proud to know you, proud my son has you as a friend, proud that I could be in your life, even in the small way that I am. I'm proud, because I can say without a hint of hesitation that you will be an excellent father, a straight A student and an incredible lawyer. Whatever school you attend, whatever firm you join, will be blessed to you have. I know our store is. I know Carol is, and so will your son. So, happy birthday, Daryl. We're all grateful and happy you were born._

Daryl cleared his throat and blinked hard. _What an embarrassed card, shit._ He set it on the coffee table and sniffed. _Man, this dust is bullshit._

He stood up, still holding the envelope, and something fell out of it. He bent down and picked it up, finding a gift card to...a baby store? He flipped it over and nearly shit. "Christ, Amaro." It was for five hundred dollars.

He set it beside the card and ran a hand down his face, chuckling and looking around again. Well, at least had some place to put all the things he'd need now. And he could keep his son overnight. Maybe Carol could stay overnight, too. If she didn't feel comfortable with him being alone with their son just yet. He had a feeling she'd be clingy to him, just a bit, but...if it helped her, he wouldn't mind.

– – –

"Carol had to leave." Andrea answered Daryl's unasked question. He'd stopped by to give Carol her lunch.

"Is she okay?" He hadn't heard anything from her.

"She's fine." Paul swallowed a piece of fatally dry chicken. "She just...had an accident."

"An accident?" His heart stopped. "What does that mean?"

"Baby related." Caesar whispered, not wanting to draw more attention to what had happened in their previous class. "It's nothing to worry about."

"I am worried. Is she okay? Is my son?"

"She pissed herself," Paula said, walking by to ask him a favor. "It's not surprising, given how pregnant she is."

Shit. "How fast have you spread that around?" Daryl glared at her.

"Not at all. I saw her in the office. I'm an office aid during second, which is how I saw her. She was crying. A lot. You might want to call her."

"Did you suddenly grow a heart?" Andrea eyed her. "Or did someone pay you to be nice?"

She flipped her off. "I need to talk to her actually. Um, could you give me her number?"

"No way." He set the lunch bag down. "You guys can have it. It's just fish and potatoes with steamed something. I don't remember what veggie. I gotta go."

"Wait, Daryl." Paula hurried after him. She managed to catch him in the hallway that lead to the office. He was likely going to check himself out and look in on Carol. She hoped he would give her a chance to try and do something similar.

What? I need to check on Carol. I don't have time to listen to any of your crap right now."

"It's not crap. I just need Carol's phone number."

"And why should I give that to you? You have made her life hell, and you hate her. Besides as a given, that's not something I should be giving out anyway."

"I just need to talk to her, alright? It's girl talk."

"Then talk to the other girls who _are_ your friends."

"They wouldn't understand my problem."

"And Carol would?"

"Big, nerd Carol? Yeah, she could help me with my studies. And she has no boyfriend, and she's knocked up. She has nothing better to do with her Saturday nights."

"Are you serious? You want the number of the girl you tormented for years so that she can help you pass a class?"

"When you put it like that, yes, that's exactly what I want."

He scoffed. "Hell no." He stormed off to check himself out of school for the rest of the day.

Paula huffed and crossed her arms, sighing and thinking about a plan B.

––

Back in the cafeteria, Carol's discarded lunch sat in the middle of the shitty school lunches and bags of chips. "I'll take that." Caesar took the bag and earned a glare. "What? I helped him make it. Well, I watched him make it. It smelled really good."

"If it's carrots, could I have a few?" Paul pushed his lunch aside.

"Sure." He pulled the containers from the bag and slid it over to Paul, nearly causing it to fall off the table. "Sorry. The table's usually sticky."

"No, it's fine." He cut a look to Andrea, and Andrea shrugged a shoulder.

"I'll go warm those up." She took the salmon and potatoes, going over to the microwave.

"Do you not like me?" Paul met Caesar's eyes and demanded in a low tone. "I don't really care either way, but just let me know."

"I don't know you."

"So naturally you treat me like shit?"

"Not like shit," Caesar defended himself. "I'm...awkward around new people." Lie.

"Of all the things I can swallow, that's not one of them. That's bullshit."

"I didn't ask what could you swallow."

"Is that what this is about? That I'm gay?"

"No! I don't have a problem with gays, okay?"

"Or with two chicks being gay 'cause that's hot, right?"

"It has nothing to do with you being gay. Okay? It's not you at all. I just... I dunno. I don't like..." It'd be easier to say he didn't like Paul. It'd be easier to say...a lot of things, but his tongue didn't care about easy. Or finishing sentences.

"Don't like?" Paul pressed.

"You know what? I have to speak to the guidance counselor. Enjoy Carol's lunch." He grabbed his backpack and bolted.

"Coward," Paul muttered as Caesar fled. Not what he would have pegged him for, considering how people talked about him. Oh well, looked like talk was simply just talk.

––

As it turned out, Carol didn't want to see Daryl or any of her friends. They tried to call to see how she was, but she turned her phone off. She avoided them the entire weekend that followed until they came to get her, because they had a surprise for her. They didn't tell her that or that they were coming, but when she found them at her door, she had choice but to let them inside.

"I don't want company." Carol sat down on the couch. "I don't want to talk about what happened at school."

"We're not here to talk about that." Michonne moved beside her. "We want to take you out."

"Yeah, just us girls." Andrea smiled. "It'll be fun."

"Till I wet myself like I'm four years old." She slouched on the couch. "Just have fun without me. It'll be better and dryer."

"It won't be." Lori came bouncing off the stairs. "We want you to come with us. It'll be fun. You'll forget about that thing, and we can just be teenagers."

"I'm eight months pregnant. I'm not "just a teenager"."

"Okay, so what? You're pregnant _and_ a teenager. Let's embrace it." Lori grinned. "I found a super comfy and cute outfit for you."

She could see she wasn't going to win here. "Okay, fine, but when I'm done, I'm done. Deal?"

"Deal."

"C'mon." Lori helped her up and led her upstairs to change into the aforementioned outfit.

"Do you think today's a good day?" Michonne whispered to her girlfriend.

"Of course it is." Andrea pulled out a winning smile. "We have all of favorite foods and people. She'll love it. If anybody can cheer her up, Mich, it's us."

"All right."

Twenty minutes later Carol and Lori returned then they loaded into Michonne's car. Carol sat in the backseat, Andrea tried to find a music station, and Lori was buzzing with excitement. Carol kept her gaze out the window, and Michonne glanced back now and then to keep an eye on her. She wasn't sure if it was a good idea or not, but the wheels were motion—literally—and there was no simply turning back.

"So, where are we going?" Carol looked over at Lori.

"To Andrea's."

"That's your big fun day? We do that every weekend." She rubbed her back. "Why not just...stay at our place?"

"Because Andrea has a pool and a game room. We can do our nails and hair and stuff."

"It's too cold to swim, even if it is heated. I shouldn't be in a pool right now, but...the game room sounds nice. We haven't played pool or darts in a while."

"You still have the second best score from our last match." Andrea glanced at girlfriend. "After Michonne."

"God, keep it in your pants." Lori was teasing. "Geesh."

"For your information, Carol is the only non-virgin in this car." Andrea glared at her. "But if you want details—"

"Please, don't! I don't want any details from any of you guys." Lori cringed. "I just want details from me and Rick. If that ever happens."

"I thought you two were getting closer." Michonne peeked at her from the rear view mirror.

"We were, but he's... I don't know. I think Carol freaks him out. No offense." She set a hand on her knee. "I love you, and he likes you, but...the baby...freaks him out. He's just super worried it'll happen to us."

"Use a condom," Carol flatly remarked. "And birth control."

"Go anal," Michonne mused.

Andrea snorted.

"I'm serious!" Lori kneed her seat. "Be supportive."

"We are. These are good examples." Andrea turned in her seat. "Have him pull out!"

She huffed. "He won't even touch me. We used to get pretty close, but not anymore. He won't even kiss me really anymore."

"Bummer." Carol turned her gaze back out the window.

"Oh, don't be bitter. Before you got knocked up, you know you enjoyed it." She folded her arms. "Right? I mean, Daryl's been around the block a few times. He has to be good. Or at least know some things." She wanted Rick to know things, and then do those things to her.

"We never did talk about that," Andrea realized. "What was it like with Daryl?"

"It was sex. I got pregnant. End of story."

"Don't be so grumpy." Michonne turned left. "If you hadn't gotten pregnant, would you have even told us? Like you only mention four months later."

"It's embarrassing to talk about. You know what I was waiting for, and how it happened? I felt cheap, okay? I felt like such an idiot, and the pregnancy didn't make that any better." She moistened her lips. "It was amazing, okay? It felt amazing, and Daryl knew what he was doing. It hurt, and it was...overwhelming. Incredible. I can't describe all of it, because it was so much, and it felt so much. It was intense and personal and...honestly, if we were together, if we were a couple, I'd probably be doing it again. A lot."

Lori pressed her lips together with wide eyes, Andrea and Michonne shared an amused look, and Carol was trying to be mad, but she couldn't be.

"Shut up." She covered her mouth with her hand as her eyes fell to the world outside her wind, trying not to laugh. "Ugh! I hate you guys!"

"I guess that answers a certain question," Michonne snickered.

"Oh, she did. She told me that." Lori crossed her legs, and Carol socked her in the arm. "What? An orgasm helps to get pregnant—clearly!"

"You're such assholes." She was bright red. "I shouldn't have told you anything."

"No, no, it's all good." Andrea giggled. "We're happy it was at least good. I mean, you had a good time, even if you don't feel so great about it now."

"Well..." Carol rested her elbow on the door and rolled her eyes upward. "It doesn't bother me as much as it did. I've gotten to know Daryl, and I care about him, even if I don't love him or am in love with him. He's a really great guy, and I am glad that...I had sex with him. A really good friend came out of it, despite our ups and downs, and our son, too."

"Yeah?" Lori smiled at her. "That's so sweet."

"Do you think—?"

"That's too personal," Carol interrupted Michonne. "You're my best friends, but that's too personal. I can't even think about that. Ever."

"But what if it happens again? You felt something once, and once your son is here, you might feel it again," she pointed out.

"It won't. He'll find someone other girl, and I'll get back to my academics. Besides, I'll have a newborn to raise. I won't have time for any other thoughts."

"If you say so." Michonne pulled into Andrea's parking lot.

The group piled out of the car, Andrea hurried inside before them, Carol wondered what that was about and shrugged. Lori and Michonne walked in front of her, and they held the door open. The house was awkwardly silent, Lori guided Carol down the hall to the den, which so wasn't the game room, and Michonne slid in front of Carol to stand by Lori.

"This isn't the—"

"Surprise!" shouted a group of people inside the room.

"God!" Carol gripped her heart, jolting backwards, and Michonne caught her free hand. "Yeah, this is great. Shock me into labor."

Andrea laughed. "Not the idea, but welcome to your baby shower."

"Are they ususally this intense?" She couldn't steady her pulse.

"This was just for you." Michonne led her inside. "We invited pretty much everyone, even some adults. We kinda ran out of people."

"You four are pretty much my only friends. Plus Daryl and Caesar."

"Exactly our point." Andrea gestured around the room. "We have all of those named. Sasha, Karen, Nana Mel, our parents left gifts but had to work, Amy, Maggie, Beth, Enid. Umm...Paul came, too. I hope that's okay."

"It's okay."

"Oh, and Lilly and Tara came, too." Lori pointed to them in the corner. "Lilly was glad to come."

"Oh? That's nice." She smiled a greeting at them. "Hi."

"We have some gifts from some rando church," Michonne added. "They just stopped by and left an ass ton of stuff. Nobody knows why or who they were, but I know the pastor. He's from my uncle's church."

"Doesn't God frown upon this, though?"

"Maybe they're really open-minded." Andrea shrugged a shoulder. "Anyway, come greet your guests."

Carol went around the room and greeted her guests, hugging her mom and thanking Sasha for coming. She was excited to see Lilly. She had meant to talk to her sooner, but life became crazy, and her memory was for shit these days. She wanted to talk to her longer, but they had to break down the rules of a few games first. Carol didn't want to play games, but they had gone through so much trouble, she couldn't say no. She'd just go along with it. It could be fun.

"Are you nervous?" Lilly joined Carol on the couch with a cup of punch that held a small baby thing covered in ice. They all had cups of punch with ice inside dropped at the same time. They had to say their water broke when the ice fully melted. She didn't get whoever came up with that one.

"If I don't think about it." She drank from the cup. "Unfortunately all I do is think about."

She laughed. "I was the same way. It really isn't that bad."

"You're lying, but I do appreciate it."

"If you have the right support system, the after isn't bad. There is no sugarcoating labor and birth. It sucks. It really sucks." She pursed her lips. "Breastfeeding sucks, too. They leak, and your nipple can, like, bleed."

Carol's mouth fell open in horror. "My nipples will what now?"

She winced. "I'm sorry. I—I'm not really good at conversation. I spend most of time talking to a toddler. My sister hardly counts as adult conversation."

She laughed. "No, no, it's okay. Brutal honesty. It's...refreshing, even if it makes my skin crawl and my eyes want to weep."

"Everything else will make up for it. I mean, holding your baby and teaching it, watching it sleep." She smiled fondly. "Meghan means the world to me. You can't imagine how...amazing having her is. On my worst days, I have my little girl, and everything that's hard and crushing me seems small compared to this little girl who just...loves me unconditionally and believes in me without a single doubt. I'm a hero to her, even when I feel like the world is crashing down, and I can't handle it."

"Yeah?"

She nodded. "You'll love your son so much you won't know what to do with all of it."

"Yeah, I know I will. I already do. Daryl already does." She stroked her belly. "And he loves Daryl. I don't tell him this, because I refuse to let him think he's the favorite parent, but...he kicks like crazy when Daryl talks. It doesn't have to be at him, he just has to talk. He moves around when Daryl touches me. If he touches my arm, it's like he can feel it to and leans that way. It's so weird, but...it's sweet."

"Daryl...is in it, too, then?" Lilly observed her. "He isn't going to back out?"

"No. He's in it for the long haul."

"That's good. You're lucky to have the father so involved."

She frowned at that. "Is Meghan's father not?"

"No. He...tried when she was born, but he eventually stopped contacting me. He changed schools. He changed his phone number. He just vanished." She wiped away the lip mark her lip balm left on her cup. "I'm glad he did it before Meghan knew who he was. I couldn't stand for her to miss someone so...worthless and insignificant. To abandon your own child? You have to the worst human being."

"Without a doubt." She nodded.

She smiled at her. "Meghan's still young. She's almost three. If you want...when he's big enough, they could play together. I could always use more friends."

"I would love that." She shared her smile. "And I'd love if you could help me with him. I mean, just give me advice on how to get him to sleep and stuff. Daryl says I'll be a natural, but I'm not too sure. I'm...anxious."

"There's no such thing as a natural, but it does come easier to some than other. I'd love to help you."

"Oh, no," Paul stated dryly, thrusting his cup into the air, "my water broke!"

Carol and Lilly giggled, among others, and Andrea rolled her eyes at him, offering him a prize baggie. He tore into gleefully, and Maggie and Enid stood over his shoulder to see what he'd won. It was mostly filled with candy, but there was a gift card for ten bucks to Taco Bell, and a pretty cool yo-yo.

"Hey, Mich, could I talk to you?" Caesar scratched the back of his neck and avoided eye contact, using the game win to try and take any attention off him.

"Sure." She untangled herself from Andrea and her conversation with Tara and pulled him outside to the back porch. "You okay?"

He was pretty much sweating bullets. "Not really. I just...need to talk to you. I'm glad you took us away from the party."

"You made it sound like it was personal." She sat on the bench deck and crossed her legs. "What's up?"

"No—not much. Umm...I just wanted to ask you a rather personal conversation." He sat beside her, not caring about any boundaries, and his arm brushed against hers. "How...how did you...you know?"

"Not really." She smiled and set a hand on his shoulder. "Deep breathes, Caesar. It's okay."

"I don't know that it's okay," he erupted. "That I'm okay. I've never dealt with anything like this before, so I don't know what's going on. I don't have a clue what I'm doing or what I did or...or anything."

"Hey, calm down. I'm sure it's nothing bad." She set her other hand on his chest, feeling his heart racing underneath. "Dude, your blood pressure must be sky high. Just calm down."

He exhaled deeply and bit his bottom lip, feeling the skin split, and he squeezed his eyes shut to keep the tears at bay.

"It's okay." She rubbed his shoulder. "Whatever it is, it's all right."

His eyes opened, tears shined in those dark orbs, and Michonne's heart ached. "I don't know what to do, Michonne."

"Talking is a good first step." She met his eyes. "You can trust me. I'm...pretty good at keeping a secret. I intend to be a lawyer, so confidentiality is big with me."

"I feel so confused." He shook his head. "I thought...maybe...but no. No, it doesn't make sense."

"Confused about what?" She tried to guess. "You say it's...not okay? What, do you have feelings for Carol? Is that it?"

"That would be so much simpler."

"Really? You did hear who I said, right?" She arched a brow at him.

"Yeah, I heard." He shook his head. "It's Jesus."

"Christ?"

"No, no, Paul. Maggie's cousin." He felt sick. "I...I don't even know why, but... It's just like with my ex, you know? How I feel. How he makes me feel. But I don't get it. I'm not... I mean, I still feel the same way towards girls as I always have, but I like Paul. I don't understand."

Michonne tenderly beamed at him. "Aww, don't look so pale. It's okay." She squeezed his shoulder. "There is nothing wrong with you. There is nothing to fix or be okay with, all right? Paul is hot. Anyone with eyes can see that. You're not confused."

"I really am. I don't know what's happening. Am I gay now? Or just...is it just him? I don't know. I don't understand."

"Okay, breathe. You picked a good person to talk to. I have...a story for you." She dropped her hands to her lap and locked eyes with him, telling him a story nobody else had heard before.

– – –

"Surprise." Carol dryly said this to Daryl, who didn't look so thrilled to be there. "Are you mad?"

"What? No." He shook his head and set his cup down now that the baby was floating in it. "I just...dunno how to feel. It's weird."

"It's supposed to be exciting, I think. And fun." She laced her fingers together and cradled her belly. "Everyone seems to be having a good time."

"They do." He ran his eyes around the room. "The games ain't too bad."

Her ice clicked in her cup beside his as the baby in the ice finally thawed, and she chuckled. "There goes my water."

He chuckled. "Guess so."

"Hmm. I think we have more games in store. I'm kinda happy about it. About this."

"Are you?" He studied her. "I...haven't heard from you in a bit. You were real upset on Friday."

"Of course." She lowered her voice. "It's embarrassing, Daryl. I don't want to think about it."

"It's just..." He trailed off. "Okay, we won't talk about it. Sorry."

"Thank you." She stepped closer. "We're getting close. Only a few more weeks."

"Yeah, I know." He rubbed the back of his neck and met her eyes. "You scared?"

"To death," she revealed, "but I'll get through it. We'll get through it?"

He smirked. "Don't even have to ask."

She smiled widely. "I'm glad I don't have to."

"After this party, could I have you?" Her brows rose curiously. "I mean, could I take you somewhere?"

"As long as there's no more clay."

"No clay. I promise."

"Then yes. I'd love to." She set a hand on his chest, gently pushing back, and he chuckled. "I have to use the bathroom for the millionth time today, so please entertain our guests. Or at least make sure my mom doesn't get too many "Mom-osa"."

"Deal." He set his hand over hers and rubbed his thumb across her knuckles before she walked by him and headed to the bathroom.

"You guys are sweet." Tara had come to sample the blue babies. They were like nutter butters coated in probably white chocolate dyed blue. She was curious, and they weren't bad. Though the icing eyes didn't make her feel any more comfortable eating it.

"Tara, right?"

"Yeah." She faced him. "I don't suppose you'll try the marriage route, huh?"

"What, us? No. No, we—we aren't even together."

Her brows shot up. "You're not? Oh. Uh, cool. That's really... I mean, I'm sure it'll all work out."

"What does that mean?"

"Nothing." Lilly grasped Tara's arm. "It means nothing. Um, I have to call my dad to see how my daughter's doing. If you'll excuse us. She has my phone."

Daryl narrowed his eyes and was about to follow when a baggie of popcorn was sudden in his path. He found Paul holding it, and he frowned. "What're you doin'?"

"Offering you some actually good popcorn." He held the container out.

"No, thanks."

"Troubles?"

He scoffed. "Nothin' you need to concern yourself with."

"I'm just being nice. Do you always come off so hostile?"

"To people I don't know, yeah."

"You could know me. Carol's getting to know me. She likes me enough to have invited me here. Or, her friends like me enough." He shrugged a shoulder. "I'm not that bad once you get to know me, and you look like you could use a friend."

"I have enough friends."

"You have, like, two friends."

"That's plenty."

"Okay." He lowered the popcorn. "What's the deal with Caesar? He's one of your friends, isn't he?"

"Why'd you want to know?"

"Everyone talks about how nice he is, how supportive and friendly and all of that he is, but...it's bullshit. Just like everything they say about you is bullshit. You're a really good guy, I've noticed. Total softie." He chuckled. "You really can't read a situation, though."

"Look—"

"I'm just joking." He held a hand up. "I just want to make some friends. I'm new. Everyone wants to be around me, but they're just...in the middle or beginning of trying to find out who they are. You seem to have it figured out. I thought "Finally, someone who isn't just another teenager wondering what to wear to prom"."

Daryl didn't know what to say to him. "Caesar is a good guy," he opted. "He's just...hard to get used to."

"That's one way of putting it."

"Putting what?" Enid helped herself to his popcorn. "Salty."

"It's nothing." He dragged a hand through his hair, still not used to his short locks. "I'm gonna use the bathroom."

"The second one is down the hall to the right," Andrea told him.

"Thanks." He handed his popcorn off to Enid and strolled out of the room.

"He's not so bad," Enid informed Daryl. "He's...not too good at first impressions. Neither am I, though."

"Better than him," Daryl assured her.

Paul blew out an impressed breath at the size of Andrea's house, finally finding his way to the bathroom, and he was about to enter when he heard odd breathing from further down the hall. He lifted his head and saw Carol leaning against the wall, looking...very uneasy.

"Hey, you okay?" He jogged over to her and grasped her upper arms. "Is it the baby?"

"I don't know." She whimpered. "It's... It just hurts."

"Hurts? Like contractions?"

"I don't know. Could you get my mom?"

"Oh, yeah, stay here."

"I don't plan on moving."

"Right." He ran back to the den. "Uh...Carol's mom?"

Karen stopped mid laugh and turned to the young man, setting her drink down at the panic on his face. "Where is she?"

Pretty much everyone came to see what was going on, but Karen and Daryl reached her first. Karen grasped her cheeks and asked her what was going on, and Daryl had his hand stolen as she wanted it. Carol tried to explain what it felt like, and Karen was about to take her to the hospital.

"It's okay." Lilly slipped between Paul and Maggie. "It's just Braxton Hicks. I went through the same thing. Most women supposedly don't feel them."

"So, it's okay?" Carol gasped softly. "It's normal?"

"Completely." She nodded. "But if you want to see your doctor, I understand. I do know a few ways to help settle them. My dad busted out Google, and it did help."

"No, I believe you. I read about labor and contractions. This doesn't seem like that."

"Here." Lilly held out her hand. "Let's sit you down. You've been on your feet for a while."

Andrea offered, "I'll make you some tea."

Carol let go of Daryl's and gripped hers, letting Lilly take her back to the den.

"Well, that was one way to put everyone on edge," Sasha commented.

"Yeah." Karen was glad it wasn't the real thing. She wasn't ready for that. She didn't even have a hospital bag packed or with her for Carol.

They all returned to den to find Michonne and Caesar looking very confused, Carol explained what happened, and Michonne mentioned how some women didn't feel them. Carol only glared, and Caesar laughed, joining her on the couch to keep her company. He needed something else to think about.

"Calm down, little guy." Caesar didn't touch her stomach just in case it made her...whatevers worse. "It's not your day yet."

"Hopefully it won't be any time soon either," Carol murmured at her son.

"You can't keep him all to yourself now," he mused.

"I can try." She smirked at him, resting her head on his shoulder. "Mmm."

"I know." He bumped his head against hers. "It'll be okay."

"I hope so." She set a hand on her stomach and gently stroked it. "Time's just flown by, Caesar."

"I know. Feels like only yesterday, I took you two out for a milkshake and burgers."

She giggled. "Hmm, that sounds good."

"I can and will go pick one up for you."

"No, I'm okay. Just sounds good."

"Offer's on the table. Long as you need it."

"Thanks, Caesar."

"I got you." He smirked. "And even if I didn't, you're laying on my arm, so I'm stuck here."

"I'm sorry, but it feels good against my back. Sorry."

"Just...coulda let me get some crackers or something."

She giggled.

"Okay, I'm bored." Andrea announced. "Who wants to see Daddy dearest vs. Auntie Lori chug down on apple juice? There's a pretty decent prize."

"Can we take bets?" Maggie inquired. "I've seen Lori with water in gym, so my money's on her."

"Yeah, but have you seen her drink out of a baby bottle?" Michonne held up two baby bottles filled with apple juice.

"That's embarassing." Lori accepted her bottle. "What's the prize?"

"A surprise for the winner, so get ready to suck," she whispered the end. "Practice for Rick."

She wanted to squirt it all over Andrea's face, but it'd be cheating, so she just kicked her shoe.

"Okay, ready?" Andrea grinned at Lori and Daryl.

Daryl had been in many drinking contests. This was the first with apple juice, but not the first with a baby's bottle. At least he won't have to stop the baby from drinking the loser's whiskey.

"Go!"

– – –

Daryl had won. Hands down. He won a bag filled with bath salts and oils and a thirty dollar gift card to Taco Bell. He gave the bag to Carol, who giggled and made him take it back. He sat down beside her and argued why he didn't need it while Caesar broke free and went for the finger sandwiches.

Soon after all the games had been played and all the prizes won, it was time to open the gifts. Daryl let Carol have fun with it, but Andrea and Karen were insistent. Especially when it came to the very first gift. It was huge and heavy, and Daryl was pretty sure it was a crib.

"I pooled together my allowances," Michonne told them, "and bought this. My mom helped me pick it out. I hope it's a good color. It oughta match Carol's room."

It was a changing table. It was oak and beautiful according to the design. Daryl assured her he could put it together, and Carol hugged Michonne.

"Thank you. I hadn't even thought of this."

"Yeah, well, I have a baby brother, so I know how this works."

"Thanks," Daryl smiled a little at her.

They were then handed multiple gifts to open. Carol had gotten more of the clothes items; Daryl got the diapers and bathing kits. They received some child proofing packs and some weird detecter that Karen said she'd help them with.

"Here." Maggie handed over a bag, and Carol pulled out a Mason jar filled with white...lotion? "I know it's not much, but it's a homemade diaper rash cream. It's completely natural, and it works realy well. My mom thought it'd be helpful."

"Aww, thank you." She removed the top and sniffed. "It even smells good."

"Smells like herbs," Daryl muttered.

"Okay, bloodhound."

He laughed. "It's the truth."

Carol closed it and stuck her tongue out at him, moving to the next gift. "Oh, a card." She wondered if there as a gift card inside. "Oh, it's from you, Caesar." She pulled it from the envelope and found only a card. It was still super sweet. "Aww."

"There's more to it than that. It's just at Daryl's."

"Why is it there?" Carol looked at him, and he sent a glare to Caesar. "What's going on?"

"It's why I want to hang out after—to show you his gift."

"All right. That sounds...weird, but I'm excited." She set the card down. "I love the card."

"Dad picked it out. He's better at card picking than me."

"Yeah," Daryl agreed under his breath.

"I really didn't know what to bring," Enid confessed, "and I really don't know you."

"It's okay. You came, and that was sweet." Carol smiled. "It makes me feel less lonely."

"I did bring you something, but I don't know if you'll like it." She handed it over. "It's a mobile that thing that goes over a crib and play music. Um, Beth and I wrote the music and song, and it's recorded onto it. But um, if you can't stand it or he can't, it's totally fine. You can record over it."

"Enid, that's... That's awesome." She accepted the box and felt tears in her eyes. "That's really cool."

"Oh, don't cry. I didn't mean to make you cry."

"I'm pregnant. At this point, weird-shaped tomatoes make me cry." She tried to laugh it off and wiped at her eye.

"Why?" Enid questioned, confused.

"No, no, no." Daryl and Lori shook their head. "Don't!"

"Um, here." Paul handed over his gift to keep her mind off of why. "It's a baby beanie."

"A beanie?" She laughed. "Like the one you always wear?"

"Yeah, only it's blue. I kinda guessed on the sex. Got pretty lucky."

"Or boys are all you think about," Enid teased.

"That's true, too, but a whole different conversation." He nudged her side.

"Aww. It's so tiny." Carol held it out of the bag. "Daryl, look how tiny."

He tried not to seem like an ass, but it was just a tiny beanie. Why was she so easily amused today? She was happy, and that made him happy, but man, she was off today. A good off. "Yeah, it's...tiny."

"I love it."

That was pretty much her response for a lot of things, but it was adorable. They opened all the gifts, Lilly and Tara had to leave early, and Maggie had to get Enid home, so she got ready to leave. Paul wanted to linger, but he had no other ride, so he got his jacket. Sasha hugged Carol and told them she'd see them at school. Karen walked her out, and Caesar hovered by Michonne. Andrea had gone to ask if Michonne could stay over. Lori made comments.

"I could stay over, too," Lori mentioned to Michonne.

"Not tonight." She sent her a sharp look. "We have plans."

"What kind of plans?" Lori feigned innocent.

"None. Of. Your. Business." She poked her forehead and walked out of the room.

"Joy kill." Lori went after her.

"I have to pee before we leave." Carol stood up. "Um, Mom's gonna take most of this home. Do you want anything?"

"Nah, not yet. I'll help her load it up, though." Daryl was on his feet and moving towards the changing table.

"Here." Paul gave him a hand. "Enid, get the door, please."

Carol headed to the bathroom, Daryl, Caesar and Paul loaded up the car, and everyone said their goodbyes. Carol thanked Andrea for hosting a pretty damn awesome shower, and Daryl gave his version of thanks. They left together.

"Does anybody remember how I came here with Lilly?" Caesar threw out. "I can always walk home, but it's cold, and honestly, I don't have a lot of energy."

"Oh, I could take you home." Andrea really didn't want to.

"Wow, you really don't want to take me home."

"I'm sorry." She couldn't help it. She had plans with her girlfriend, and she wanted to get them started.

"We can take you home." Paul shrugged into jacket. "We have room."

"Won't Maggie mind?" Caesar inquired. "Or Enid? It's out of the way. At least twenty minutes. If not more, you guys do leave out of the city."

"It's no problem." He lightly hit his shoulder. "And you can always pay us gas money, if you feel that badly."

"Cool." He sent a panicked look to Michonne.

"Wear a seat belt." Michonne waved.

"Bitch," he mouthed and followed after Paul.

"What the hell was that?" Andrea didn't approve of him calling her girl a bitch.

"It's fine. Don't get all overprotective. He's not wrong."

"Okay." She closed the door. "All of our guests are gone, do you wanna go to my room?"

"I'd rather go swimming."

"It's like twenty-nine degrees."

"Then you'll just have to keep hot."

Andrea shook her head. "You do realize my parents can see into the backyard, right?"

"Your parents go to bed every night at nine. They're overworked, and they really don't pay attention to what we do. I mean, do you remember the other night?"

"Fondly." She kissed her. "I have some swim suits in my room."

"See, but I wore something special just for this." She walked backward towards the kitchen. "Come on."

"I'm wearing a sports bra," Andrea followed her. "It's not even cute."

"Then take it off." Michonne spun on her heel and vanished into the kitchen.

She hoped Amy wasn't planning on taking a swim. It clearly was going to be rated R. God, what the hell was she so hot? "Hold on!" She hurried after her.

––

Carol pursed her lips as Daryl drove towards his work instead of towards his home, and he couldn't contain his smile as she grew more and more suspicious of this trip. He started to wheeze laughter at her, and she couldn't keep silent anymore.

"Why are we going to your work? I thought you were taking me to your place to show me Caesar's gift."

"I am." He cleared his throat. "Just hold on."

"Why are you laughing at me?"

"I'm not. I'm just...coughing."

"Lair." She couldn't help smiling at his laughter. "Just tell me what's going on."

"I'm gonna show you instead."

"Okay..."

He pulled into the parking lot behind the soon to be bakery, digging the key out of his pocket, and Carol followed him out of the car. He guided her into the building and up the stairs. She was invested at this point, and when he unlocked the door, she gasped and flew inside.

"What the...?" She searched the place.

Daryl closed the door. "The gift's in here," he called.

"In here?" She stepped out of the kitchen. "What's here, Daryl?"

"My new place."

"What? Your—your new place? You own this place?"

"I rent."

"Oh, my God." She gaped. "That's...wow. You rent. From who? I thought this place was for sale."

"It was." He explained what happened, leading her to the corner to where Caesar's gift was.

"Wow, that's...a lot to take in." She met his eyes. "How do you feel about this? Or Merle?"

"I want it. I want this place." He nodded with confidence. "It's a new start, which'll be good for the baby, and I can keep him overnight now. I want him to grow up here with me. And I want you to feel comfortable here, too."

"Why?"

"Because the life I'm tryin' to build, I want you to be a part of it. You and our son and Merle. Is that okay?"

"It's very okay." She blushed somewhat. "I like that. And I'm happy for you. You can have weekends."

He chuckled. "Yeah. Got the stroller for it and everythin'."

"It doubles as a car seat, too." She'd read the note attached to the handle bars.

"Nice."

"We have a lot of good friends. We got a lot of awesome gifts tonight."

"We did," he concurred. "Just not a crib. We'll have to invest in one of those."

"Yeah, but we have the bassinet. We can go shopping for one soon. I just need to finish up that corner, but we should get on it."

"Just let me know when you're ready."

"When we're ready."

He peeked at her face. "It's all happenin', isn't it?"

"Yeah, it is. It's kinda blurry and rushed, right?"

"Some of it, but...that's good. I mean, I want to meet him. I want to hold him. Don't you?"

"I really do."

"Maybe...it's a good rushed and blurry."

"Maybe so." She nudged his arm and chuckled. "I can't believe how things turned out."

"Me either." He exhaled. "Should I get you home? Or do you...wanna hang out for a bit?"

"I'd like to hang around, if that's okay."

"Yeah. I ain't got much, but Amaro left me some drinks and a couple snacks. I told him about bringin' you over, and he wanted to make sure we would be taken care of." He went to the kitchen and got her bottle of coconut water. He knew she loved it, and Amaro had seen Dary's shopping list at work, so he bought an asston. He'd been drinking coconut water well into college. Maybe even retirement.

"That's thoughtful of him." Carol cracked the top off and drank deeply. It was so cold and tasty. It hit a spot she didn't know she had.

"Um, how about I give you the grand tour?"

She swallowed. "I'd love that."

"C'mere." He grasped her hand, she looked down at their hands and gently weaved her fingers through his. He squeezed them, and she smiled softly. "Wanna see our son's room?"

"Yeah."


	15. Seven

**_A/N:_** _In regards to the Weight author's note, I didn't mean to imply that I was stopping all my WIP, only Weight. I'm sorry if I lead any of you to believe that. This story will be finished as it's not for me. It's for Chambler BR, so no worries here._

* * *

 ** _Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot._**

––

Carol stared at the ceiling, moaning softly, hand resting across her forehead. She hadn't moved yet. She didn't want to move at all. She wanted to stay here and sleep until she wasn't tired anymore. She hadn't gotten much sleep the last couple of days. Her back was killing her. Her side hurt from trying to sleep on her side. Her bladder was nonexistent, and she pretty much always needed help to get out of seats. She felt like her son was a watermelon underneath her shirt, and lately, there'd been...so much movement. He was kicking and stretching, and she didn't blame him for stretching. It was a tight space now that he was so big.

"Hey, lazy bones." Lori stood on the landing, arms crossed on the railing. "It's breakfast time."

"I don't wanna get up."

"Or you can't." She grinned and hopped off the last steps. "Get up. It's a big day. We have our short winter break. Rick and I have movie plans, but I can't leave until I get you out of bed. We made pancakes."

"I'm not hungry."

"Tssh, yeah right." She pulled the blanket off her and grasped her hands. "Come on."

"I'm really not hungry." She allowed Lori to help her off the bed. "I'll have a shower and some milk, but that's all that sounds good. Daryl's gonna pick me up at noon. He's getting all moved in today, and he wants me to spend the night."

"Oh? This is the first time I've heard of this."

"I thought I told you."

"No."

"Well, it's just... Amaro wants to meet us there, and I have no plans for this four day weekend. We're gonna decide on a name for the baby, and we're gonna set up his nursery. We have no crib for his place yet—or mine—but we're gonna do that, too. Tomorrow morning. I've worked it out with Mom and Dad, and they're fine with it."

"You can spend days with a guy, but I have to beg for a movie? How's that fair?"

"I'm 38 weeks pregnant," Carol replied. "What else can I do with Daryl?"

"A lot."

"That I'd want to do," she emphasized. "I'm... just no."

"Well, I'm gonna head out. Have fun with Daryl."

"You have fun with Rick." She smiled. "And if you want me to talk to Mom and Dad about fairness, I can."

"No, it's all right. They're just looking out." She set a hand on her stomach. "If you do eat, avoid the bacon. I think it went bad. It's killing me. That and cramps."

She nodded. "Bye."

"See ya." She climbed upstairs to head out.

Carol set a hand on her belly and stroked it as her baby boy kicked hard. "I know. I'm sorry it's so cramped in there. Let's...shower and eat something. Maybe you'll be less grouchy." She could hope, anyway.

––

Merle heard Daryl move back and forth from his room to the truck, and he rolled out of bed to see what the hell was going on. He knew Daryl had wanted to talk to him for the past couple of weeks, but he'd been busy with his own shit. He had work and a side job, and he wanted to take a fucking nap, but he wouldn't get any peace it seemed. He might as well find out why.

Daryl stopped in the living room when Merle rolled out of his room. "Hey."

"What's all that racket? I'm tryin' to nap."

"Umm." He glanced at his pretty much vacant room, Merle's eyes moved there too, his brows knitted together, and his eyes found Daryl's. "I needa talk to you."

"I'd say so." He folded his arms. "You gettin' new shit? Or...are you leavin'?"

"Leavin', actually." He gripped his elbow and kicked the tip of his boot against the rug. "It wasn't my plan to go so soon."

"Then why are you?"

"For my son." He steadied himself, not allowing his guilt to get the better of him. "I can't raise him in this house. It's a damn shit hole, and there's probably a million different toxins in the furniture and the air that could hurt him. I can't risk him. And I want him around me as much as possible, but if I stay here, Carol won't let him over here, and I don't want him over here—ever."

Merle set his jaw. "Yeah." It was said through clenched teeth.

"Amaro...my boss...is lettin' me rent an apartment over his new business. It's got room for me and my son. It's spacious and a clean start. You're welcome to come over anytime you want. I just need this for him."

"And for you," Merle added.

Daryl swallowed. "Yeah, and for me, too."

"Were you gonna tell me before you hauled everything outta here?"

"I've been trying to tell you for weeks now. You've been too tired and too busy to sit down and talk to me. Today is the first day I start living there, and I didn't want to wait. I like the apartment. It can be a home for me and my son until I buy an actual house one day." He raised his shoulders and let them drop. "You know I got plans bigger than this shack and this town. You know I'm graduating next year. I ain't gonna look back. I can't."

"So...you graduate and go to college and forget all about your blood?" His brows lowered, and he shook his head. "I raised you, made sure you had food and clothes and—"

"This isn't about you!" Daryl snapped, hands balling into fists. "It's about doin' what I feel I can do well and want to do! This is about building a life for me and my child, for makin' peace with things I don't even like to think about! This is about...being a good father and a good man. You always told me to do this. Why the hell are you so hesitant now?"

"I didn't think I'd lose you so soon," Merle admitted. "I want...the best for you, but...it's hard to let go. You're my brother, my blood, and I've spent so much of my life fuckin' up yours. Then I tried to make up for that and you get on the straight and narrow, and here you are—all grown up and leavin'. I'm not sure what to do with myself. I'm not sure...what'll keep my head on straight with you gone."

Daryl's hands relaxed at his sides, and his eyes softened. "Your nephew will keep you on the straight and narrow. You're gonna be in his life every step, Merle. I'll still be around, too. I just gotta put him first. This apartment is how I do that. I need you to understand that it's about him. It's all about him."

"I do understand. It don't make it any easier." He smiled somberly. "You grew up on me, boy."

"It happens."

"Yeah." He closed the space between them and smacked Daryl hard on the shoulder, squeezing tightly. "You did good, Daryl. I'm real proud of you."

"This ain't goodbye."

"No." He let go of his shoulder. "But I do got a gift for you."

"A gift? You didn't even know I was leavin'."

"It's been up my sleeve for weeks now. I was waitin' for the right time. Guess it's the right time." He led Daryl around to the outside shed, and he unlocked it. "It's for the kid, but y'all will get a lot of use out of it."

Daryl leered inside the shed before pulling his phone out and flicking on the flashlight. He shined its beam into the shed and nearly dropped his phone. Inside the old shed sat a beautifully handcrafted crib. "Merle." He climbed into the shed and looked over the design.

"I read all that shit you had pulled up on your computer," Merle explained. "I looked into safety and all that while I was buildin' it. It's...safer than a lifejacket, and it can be used as a bed for when he's bigger. I'll show you how to adjust it when the time comes."

"Merle...this is awesome." He looked back at his brother. "Really, I can't... Carol and I need a crib real bad, but we never got around to buyin' one. This saves us time and money, and...it's perfect. Carol's gonna cry she'll love it so much."

"Yeah, don't—don't bring her here. Just take it to her place. She'll need it more than you as the primary caretaker."

Daryl arched a brow. "Primary caretaker?"

"I said I read that shit you had pulled up, didn't I?" he smirked. "Now, let's get you loaded up. I'll drop this by Carol's tomorrow. I gotta get a mattress."

"I can do—"

"It's my gift to you," Merle cut him off. "You don't get to have any part of it. Other than acceptin' it."

"All right." He exited the shed. "Wanna see the new place?"

"Once you're all moved in, sure. I gotta work late this entire weekend." Daryl nodded. "But I'll be by."

"You'd better be."

Merle playfully smacked his head. "Let's get you the hell outta my hair—and don't fuckin' say nothin' 'bout my hair."

Daryl snorted. "Got a few more boxes."

"You takin' the bed?"

"No. I'm gonna drop it off at the dump."

He nodded and talked to Daryl about what he was taking and leaving while they loaded up the truck. Daryl was happy to see Merle so interested in this move, and it was entirely for Daryl's sake. He wasn't angry or bitter; he was accepting and just there for Daryl. It wasn't a goodbye, but if it was, it was a good one.

– – –

Daryl met Amaro at the apartment for help with hauling up boxes. Caesar was there, and they made quick work of it. Daryl only had a few clothes, his computer and a few books from school. Amaro was a bit depressed at how little Daryl had, and Caesar was glad he'd bought a few things for the apartment for Daryl.

"I got you some stuff for the apartment." Caesar handed over a bag to Daryl, who rifled through it immediately. "New sheets and pillowcases, a few pillows for you, too. Um, I got a clock so you'd have one."

"I could've gotten these myself."

"I know, but I wanted to give you a housewarming gift." He smiled. "It's really from me and the girls."

"The girls?" Daryl frowned.

"Carol's friends. Michonne, Andrea and Lori."

He nodded. "Um, I didn't mean to seem rude. It's nice of you to get these for me. Thanks, man."

"You're welcome."

"Well, we oughta get outta your hair." Amaro rubbed his hands together. "I'll be back when Carol arrives, as I have a gift for you both."

Great, another pity gift. Just what he needed. "All right."

"I have to get going actually. I have plans, but welcome home." Caesar waved. "Bye."

"Bye." Daryl waved as he left.

"I'll let you get settled." He closed the front door on his way out and headed downstairs to see how the installation of the lock pad was coming.

Daryl pulled the massive bedding pack out of the bag and carried it down the hall to his bedroom. The pillows were underneath the bed with welcome home Daryl written in marker on the plastic covers. He shook his head and made up the bed, finding himself rather liking the design of the bedding Caesar had chosen. Or one of the girls' had chosen. They...had good taste. He liked how dark it was and how light the geometric shapes were. It was a nice touch.

He looked around the bedroom and found it a little bland, but there was little he could do about that. He swiped his leather jacket from the couch and sauntered out of the apartment to go pick up Carol. Well, out of his...apartment. Weird to think, but he fucking loved it.

Carol was ready to go when he pulled up, Axel was waiting with her, just enjoying the slightly warm afternoon. He said goodbye to her and waved to Daryl, and Carol climbed into the truck, greeting him with a smile. He pulled out before Axel could have a friendly talk with him. He'd...gotten enough of them when they'd gotten permission for this sleepover.

"Where's your mom?" Daryl had noted she wasn't with them.

"Out with a friend." She adjusted her foot in her sneaker. "Lori, too."

"A boyfriend," he corrected.

"Same difference." She smirked. "So, how'd Merle take it?"

"Pretty well. He got a gift for us."

"He did? What is it?"

"I'll let you see for yourself when he brings it over." He smirked. "You'll...like it. Trust me."

"Okay." She smiled over at him. "Do you like it?"

"The apartment?"

"The apartment, he says." She rolled her eyes. "No, not "the apartment", doofus. Your place. Your home. Do you like it?"

He chuckled. "Yeah, I do."

Her smile widened. "Good."

The drive home was a rather quick one, Daryl carried her bag inside, and they found Amaro waiting in the hall for them. He was on the phone, but he ended the call and showed them inside. Carol set her purse on the couch by her bag, and Amaro guided them to the nursery.

"It's our last gift to you." He opened the door and revealed a fully made up nursery.

"Whoa." Carol gasped at the sight of the changing table, crib, a rocking chair and stuffed animal galore. "It's amazing." They could still decorate it the way they wanted, but all of the expensive things were already there.

"You didn't have to do this," Daryl stated. "I could've done this myself. I had plans—"

"They were Caesar's baby things," Amaro imparted. "No money was spent on them. I just took good care of them is all. I'd rather you use them than they rot in a dark room. You're doing me a favor."

Daryl huffed. "I appreciate it. I honestly do, but no more surprises. Please."

"This is the last from me." He smiled at how Carol seemed to adore the furnishings. "It's all yours, young man. Young woman." He nodded his head and slipped out. "Don't forget to lock up!"

"Yeah, Dad," Daryl muttered, grouchy at how many "gifts" came with the apartment. He had money. Shit, let him use it. He hated feeling like someone's fixer upper project. He could take care of himself and his son. And he would. They didn't have to be so involved.

"He's very kind." Carol was facing him with a huge smile on her face. "We oughta get him a card. Maybe a basket of muffins or fruit, as a thank you."

"Kind?" Daryl couldn't keep the sneer out of his voice.

"Yes, kind." She approached him. "It's not a hand out. It's kindness. He cares for you. He wants to make your life easier. That's a good thing."

"Doesn't feel too good."

"Well, it oughta."

He shrugged. "You hungry or anythin'?"

"Not really. My stomach's been...off all day, but not my bladder. It's actually overactive. I think he thinks it's a toy." Lori teased her about buying a bladder-shaped stuffed toy for him when he was born. She could see her doing that, and he'd probably love it. He loved hers. "And the queasiness isn't that great either. I think it's the breakfast shake I drank."

"Do you wanna lie down?"

"No thanks, my back...is killing me."

"I got a heating pad. I found it when I moved in. Do you think that'd help?"

She smiled faintly. "It's okay. I'll tough it out."

"I know you said you weren't hungry, but I bought some gummy bears and peanut butter."

She looked repulsed. "That...sounds really gross. I forgot I ate those."

He frowned. "Well...do you wanna talk about baby names?"

"Sure." She rubbed the base of her spine. "Is your couch comfortable?"

"I don't really know. I haven't sat on it."

"Well, let's find out."

They moved to the living room, Daryl set her bag on the coffee table, and Carol sat on the couch, adjusting herself more than a cat. Daryl tried not to be annoyed then he tried not to laugh, and then he just avoided looking at her, because he was going to laugh. She was...adorable, but if he say so, she'd punch him. She didn't like being called adorable lately. Axel called her cute, and she glared him down. He didn't want to know why. He'd stay on he good side. If she still had one.

"Okay." Carol stacked her hands on her belly. "Do you have names in mind?"

"Nah, I didn't think I'd have kids."

"I did. I mean, I knew I'd have a kid one day, but I figured I'd come up with the name as I got older. I don't...have any names. Not any good ones."

"But you have...bad ones?"

"I hate all of them."

"Tell me what they are."

"Don't make fun of me, okay?"

"Why would I make fun of you?"

"I dunno, but these names suck."

"I won't make fun of you."

She studied him then proceeded. "Thomas." She watched his lip curl in disgust. "See? Ugly. I mean, for us. It's a good name, but sucks for us, right?"

"Do you have any others?"

"John?"

"No. Not Joe either."

She frowned at how pissed he looked. "Why not?"

"No. Next name."

"Dary—"

"What's the next name?" he interrupted.

"Uhh...James." She averted her eyes. "Oliver."

"That's not too bad," he admitted. "Together."

"James Oliver Dixon."

He met her eyes. "He's...gonna have my last name?"

"Of course he will. You're his father."

"I know, but I figured...you'd give him your last name."

"No, he's a Dixon, through and through. I mean that in a good way." She gasped in uncomfortably and squeezed her eyes shut.

"What's wrong?" He jerked forward.

"My back." She raised her hand to her brow and massaged her temple. "It's really killing me. I can't sleep, because I can't get into an agreeable position, and it sucks. I'm tired and queasy and my back feels like it's trying to kill me."

"I'm sorry. I wish there was something I could do."

"Can you massage a back?" she wearily mused.

"I can try."

She opened her eyes. "You don't have to do that."

"If it helps, I'd like to."

"It's worth a shot," she uttered. "Just...if I say stop, please stop."

"Yeah, 'course."

"I hope this helps."

The back massage didn't help. Daryl felt poorly that he couldn't help her through this, and Carol just put the subject back on baby names. They hadn't gotten very far before they pulled out their phones and started looking up the top ten or top thirty boy names. They didn't like any of them, and most of the lists were repetitive. They were getting nowhere.

So they gave up and went for a walk to try and work out the knots or whatever it was in Carol's back. They got some ice cream—one to share, as Carol's stomach wasn't having food right now—and they picked up some things for dinner. Carol seemed off to Daryl. She was trying to be cheerful and calm, but he could tell something was just...off. He couldn't put his finger on it, but it did worry him.

"I'm exhausted." Carol rubbed her eye as Daryl started on dinner. "I'm gonna try and nap before dinner."

"Go right ahead." He offered her a kind smile.

She waddled out of the kitchen towards the bedroom, Daryl continued to work on dinner, and it was quiet in the apartment. He could hear the clock that Caesar had given him ticking, and it reminded him of exams he had to take in school. He tried to block it out, but it was deafening, so he turned on some music. He wasn't a big fan of it, but...it was better the the silence.

He stirred the soup and hoped it worked as the site said it would. It'd fill Carol up and ease her stomach problems. It wouldn't help with her back, but little things, right? She might feel better on a full stomach. Full, not heavy. He hoped that helped. He really didn't like how worthless he felt. He could usually do something, but he couldn't fix her back. If he wouldn't have to... No. He didn't want to continue that thought. It was stupid and pointless and cruel. He shouldn't—

"Shit." It was a weak, upset cry from his bedroom.

"What's wrong?" Daryl started to near his room, but at the sound of his feet on the floor, Carol gasped and begged him not to come closer. "What's going on?"

"Nothing, just...nothing. Go back to the kitchen. I need to...grow a better bladder." She snuffled. "Ugh."

He selfishly hoped it hadn't gotten on his bed with the new sheets and the new bed itself. Stupid, but it was his first thought. His second was much kinder, and he verbalized it. "You can use the shower."

"Okay."

He could hear her crying. "Carol?"

"Don't come in here."

He tip toed down the hall to his bedroom. "You don't have to be embarrassed."

"Yeah, I do."

He leaned against the wall by the door. "It's just a natural thing. I've seen Merle barf on himself. And worse."

"I'm not your brother. I'm repulsive enough without this."

"You're not repulsive at all."

"Yes, I am. I'm stupid and huge and emotional. I'm a train wreck. I can't control anything in my body anymore. It's awful."

"I think you're real...beautiful," Daryl whispered to himself.

"Wait...Daryl..."

Shit! Had she heard that? His heart stopped. "Y—yeah?"

"It's..What the heck?"

"What? What is it?"

"Uh, it's just, it's different then..."

"What's happening?"

"I don't know. I'm freaked out. Come here."

He wasn't sure he wanted to now, but he had to. He entered the room and saw the moisture that had seeped through her jeans, darkening the blue material. He didn't know what to say. Or do. Or...where to er, look.

"What do I do?" She looked panicked and exceedingly pale.

"Is...it urine?"

"I don't think so, but I don't know." She was snuffling. "I'm scared."

"Don't be. I'm sure it's...normal. Um, let's just run you a bath. I'm sure it'll pass."

"And if it doesn't?"

"You won't leak into eternity."

Her eyes widened. "What if I do?"

Christ. "Let's just get you in the bath."

"I—I'm gonna call my mom first."

"All right." He rubbed the back of his neck. "I'll draw a bath. I can use those salts from the shower."

She was digging through her purse where she'd discarded her phone when she suddenly stopped moving, and Daryl's lips drew a line. "Carol?"

She gripped the sheets so tightly that her knuckles went white, Daryl was by her side instantly, and he wrapped his arm around her back. "Oh, God, that—hurts." It hurt so immensely that she couldn't even breathe.

"What hurts?"

"Aah!" She nearly collapsed, but Daryl had a good grip on her. "God, ow, ahh!"

"Carol!" He held her closer to his body. "What's—?"

"He's coming!" she gasped. "H—he's coming. Aah!"

– – –

Karen and Axel met them at the hospital, Carol was already given a room and seen by Harlan, and Daryl was sitting in the lobby, looking thoroughly traumatized. Axel went to comfort him, and Karen went to see Carol.

"You okay, son?" Axel set a hand on his shoulder.

"She's in room 210," he muttered.

"We know that. Karen's gone to her." He drank in the young man's pallor. "You're more freaked out than I was."

"He's coming..." Daryl looked at Axel. "He's...he's coming?"

"Yeah, he's coming." He tried not to snicker. "Two weeks early. He's his mom's son."

"He's early..."

"Okay, I'll go get you something to drink. I'll be right back." He patted his shoulder and hoped Karen had better luck with Carol.

In room 210, Carol was clinging to her nurse, who was very thoughtful and didn't leave her side until Karen appeared. The nurse handed her over and let her know if she needed anything. Karen didn't even have time to remove her coat before Carol was grabbing at her.

"Honey, honey, calm down." Karen stroked her hair.

"Where's Daryl?" She met her eyes. "And Dad?"

"In the lobby."

"Daryl is?"

"Yes, sweetie. He's with Dad." She brushed hair out of her face. "Just breathe, honey."

"He left me alone," Carol strained. "He just left."

"He didn't leave." She rubbed her arm. "He didn't know how to be here. He didn't attend that birthing class."

"Yeah, neither did we. It was scheduled for next week!"

"It's all right. I know how this goes."

"Do you?" Tears pooled in her eyes. "Because it hurts, Mom. It really hurts."

"I know. I know it hurts, but I'll be here with you through it. I promise." She wiped under her eyes. "How are you feeling right now?"

"Paralyzed."

"Okay, that's to be expected, but—"

She wasn't able to finish her sentence as another contraction seared through Carol, and Karen didn't know Carol had that much physical strength. They were both almost screaming, but luckily Karen was able to sooth her and remind her to breathe. It was all she had at the moment. It seemed to be enough for now.

Axel made his way back to Daryl who hadn't moved an inch, and he handed him a can of root beer. Daryl accepted it, but he didn't seem to remember how to operate his fingers, so Axel had to open it. He drank half of it in one chug, and Axel was relieved to see it took the edge off his shock. Daryl was starting to return to him. Good.

"She's dilating slowly," Axel relayed Harlan's words. "We might be in for a long night."

"Yeah?"

"I had Lori get her hospital bag, so she'll be here soon. No friends, not yet. Carol doesn't need to see them while she's going through this." Unless it dragged then maybe the company would be nice. It depended on how the night went.

"How far does she have to be dilated?"

"10 cm."

"That's not a whole lot." Daryl felt like he was a five-year-old, not grasping much, just...seeing it pass him by.

"No, but it can take a lot of time." He thought back and whooshed out an exhale. "With Dawn—Carol's mom—we were at the hospital for forty-nine hours."

Daryl's eyes widened. "Forty-nine hours?"

He sucked on his teeth. "Yep. I got real familiar with the staff."

"Why did it take so long?"

"Well, there were complications with Carol and with Dawn, and...I thought I might lose both of them for eight and half hours. But we had a good, patient doctor. She was...a blessing, truly. She helped Dawn through every step, and when it got tough, she was there for both of us. I can't...imagine how we would have gotten through that without her."

"What complications were there? I mean, could Carol have those same complications?"

"No. Dawn...had a fragile body. A strong spirit and will, but...her body didn't follow their lead. Carol's does. She's...a strong kid...a strong young woman. She'll be just fine."

He drank the rest of his root beer.

"You can go and see her whenever."

"I know." He squeezed the empty bottle and crushed it. "I don't know what to say to her. I...I ditched her the second the nurse came into help her change, and—and I still don't know how to...help her. Or talk to her."

"You'll figure it out." He nudged his shoulder. "I'm gonna go check on her. You coming?"

"Not yet."

"Take your time. Read a magazine. Think about something else for a minute then...go see her." He left Daryl's side on that note and located Carol's room. She was in bed, looking miserable but a lot calmer. "Hey, kiddo."

"Dad." She perked up at the sight of him. "Where's Daryl?"

"Ouch. I'm not good enough?" He stopped beside her bed.

"No, you are. I just... He didn't leave, did he?"

"He's pretty much glued to that seat in the lobby." He collected her hand. "How you doin'?"

"Awful. I hate this." She rolled her eyes away to keep from crying again.

"I know. It...is awful."

"How would you know? You're a guy."

"I might be, but if your mother nearly breaking my hand isn't an indication of how much it hurt, I don't know what is."

"That's not the same."

"I know. I didn't mean to imply that it was. I only meant I can...try to put myself in your shoes."

"Don't try. You can't."

"All right." Dawn had been this short with him, too. He didn't blame her, though. "Where's Mom?"

"She went to talk to the doctor about the epidural." She looked his way. "Is it gonna hurt? She mentioned it was going into my spine?"

"I—I don't know about that."

"Oh, God." Her face contorted with anguish, and Axel learned the hard that way Carol was much stronger than down. "Where's Mom? I need Mom!"

"I—I'll get her." He tried to pry her fingers off his hands.

"No. Don't leave me alone!" She cried.

Ahh! "Okay, I'm here. I'll just... Karen!" he shouted, his lips parting and brow rising as Carol gripped his hand harder. Fuck!

"What?" Karen appeared in the doorway at the end of the contraction. "I was talking to Harlan. Are you okay?"

Carol flopped back against the pillow and panted. "It happened again."

"It's going to happen again and again. It's...just how it works, sweetie." She walked over to her and grasped her hand. "Are they closer together?"

"No."

She nodded. "I'll get you some ice. You can crunch on that."

"Where's Michonne? Or Andrea?" Carol looked for her mom to her dad. "I want them here. They're my best friends."

"It's late, Carol," Axel explained. "You're hardly making any progress, and it's not okay to make them stay the night. They're parents wouldn't be happy with us."

"But...but they'd want to be here."

"Yes, but Michonne has to babysit Andre. Remember? Her parents went away for winter break." Carol nodded. "And Andrea is working on her driver's exam. She has it tomorrow. She'll need to be focused for that."

"You're right. I'm sorry." She snuffled. "You guys are here, and Lori's coming, right?"

"She's about ten minutes away," Karen assured her.

"Thanks." She smiled a little.

"I'll be right back. Try and relax, okay?" Karen headed out to those ice chips and Axel caught her. "Yeah?"

"How is it you can say the same thing as me, but she listens to you?"

She chuckled. "Gentle voice, maybe."

"I could have a gentle voice."

"No, you have creepy old man voice when you try to have a gentle voice. She doesn't need that right now. Don't try it, please."

"Fine, but...just be in earshot. She needs you more than me right now."

"I'll be quick."

– – –

Lori arrived to find Dad and Daryl in the lobby, looking over magazines. Or rather trying to. Daryl looked like a statue, trying to act like a human, and it wasn't working. Dad was icing his hand, which was swollen. Lori knew what happened there.

"Hey."

"Hey." Axel dropped the magazine to his lap. "Get comfy."

"Why? What's going on?"

"Nothing. Except for my swelling hand and being booted from Carol's room." He sighed. "She's not a fan of me when she's in pain."

"I remember when she got her wisdom teeth pulled." Lori was not a fan of her, but she had to be nice. She loved her sister, but intense pain wasn't her strong suit. She could grin and bear it most of the time, but a baby? There was no grinning and no bearing. "Which room is she in? I brought her bag."

"Room 210," Daryl murmured.

"Okay, Traumatized Ted." She walked on to Carol's room and found her with their mom. "Hey."

"Hey." Karen smiled at her. "You get here safe?"

"Yep. Rick dropped me off. He'll be back when the baby's here, but he didn't want to crowd Carol." She set the bag on the chair in the corner of the room. "So, how's it looking?"

"Good. Good." Karen forced a smile and a nod.

"Awful," Carol groaned. "Just awful."

"Why awful?"

"It...hurts," Carol replied. "I can't even explain how much it hurts."

Lori made a face and tried to hide it, but she couldn't. "Yeah?"

"And I'm not going anywhere."

"It's too soon for that," Karen threw in. "It's going to take time. This can't be rushed."

"I wish it could be. I want this to be over." She blinked back tears. "I hate it."

"I know, but...soon there'll be a baby." Lori sat on the edge of the bed. "Your little boy. Did you guys pick out a name?"

"No. No, we didn't, because my stupid water or whatever leaked, and here I am in terrible pain. The breathing doesn't help, and I have no idea what I'm doing. I didn't take that stupid birthing class, and I'm scared."

Lori honestly had no clue what to say to that.

"And I'm hungry. And they want to put a shot in my spine—in my spine! And nobodies been able to get Daryl in here."

"You want Daryl?"

"No."

Her lips formed a downward line. "You don't want Daryl?"

"I do, but I don't, because I don't know what I want. I feel insane!"

"Okay, I'll try and get him. If he doesn't come then you get your way. And if he does, you still get your way."

"How does that make sense?" Carol whined.

"I don't know, but I'll go get on that." She hopped off the bed and hurried away.

"You won't be able to eat once they give you epidural," Karen informed her. "What sounds good?"

"Food." She ran her tongue over her bottom lip. "I don't know, just food."

"You have to be specific than that. Chicken? A burger? Soup?"

"I don't..." She paused. "Daryl. He was making food before we left. It smelled really good. I think it was soup."

"Okay. Do you want that?"

"I just...kinda said I did."

"Just making sure. I'll ask Axel to go get it."

Out in the lobby, Lori dropped beside Axel and blew out a sigh, and Axel nodded. Daryl had gone to try and walk off this funky mood. At least the tin man was walking around and being human-like. That was a good step. Moderately.

"Remind me to never have kids."

Axel guffawed. "You got it."

She chuckled at him. "I don't mean it."

"I know." He looked her over. "How's she doing?"

"Grumpy. Hungry. Kinda like a baby herself. She reminds me of when she was ten and busted the crud out of her knee."

"Oh, yeah, she cried the entire way home."

"Only times a frigging million."

He crossed his arms. "Did you bring anything for us? Like a book?"

"No, but I have a Sherlock Holmes book in my purse. I'm reading it for school."

"I'll take it. Magazines never did it for me."

"They do for me."

They traded and dug into their material, and Karen made her way to them.

––

Daryl wandered the halls of the hospital, hands stuffed in his jacket pockets, head hung. He didn't know what was going on with him. He was a mixture of a million emotions, and didn't know how to handle any of them. He wanted to just be a man and take them on, but there were so many. He was just one guy. There was no way he'd survive a heado-n assault with his emotions like that. He wished he could, but...sadly no. Perhaps one by one was the best course. He had the time.

He was paralyzed. Wholly and literally paralyzed. It was mostly internal. His organs didn't seem to be working as they normally would. It was as though they were on play-skip or perhaps just on slow-mo. He wasn't sure, but it didn't feel good. It didn't feel right. He couldn't shake it. He tried to, but his brain had put them on this setting, and there was no overruling his brain. He'd tried many times when he was younger, and it failed.

What else was there? Happiness? Joy? Elation? No. Or rather he couldn't figure out if it was there or not. Everything was loud and overwhelming, nothing small could seem to pour in, and the joy was very small. A lot of responsibility and expectations fell on him the moment his sperm and Carol's egg fused to make this baby, and a hell of a lot more would slam down on him the moment their son drew his first breath and wailed. He didn't know how to handle that. He thought he would do pretty well with it, but evidently not. He was crippled and crushed and chaos. That was all that consumed him. That and worry. Endless and overflowing worry. It outweighed everything else.

He knew Carol would be fine. She was tough. He could tell she was just as strong as he was, if not more, and he wasn't worried anything would happen to her. She would do great. The contractions and labor would be a massive bitch, but she would do...well with it. She'd bring their son into the world, and she'd give him a name, and that would be that. None of his worry had to do with Carol. It all had to do with him and the shadow looming over him. The shadow that darkened his mood and marred his body. The shadow that shared blood with him.

He had come a long way to avoid being anything like his old man, and yet he'd ended up in similar steps. From the time he was thirteen till he sixteen, he drank and did a shit ton of drugs. He fucked anything that would have him when he turned fifteen, and he didn't care about anything. He didn't care about grades or people or himself. He just kept going along with all of Merle's friends and Merle. He was rapidly running down the same path as his old man, and he didn't once stop and set himself straight. He just kept going and going and going until Merle stopped. Merle stopped, and Daryl had to stop. He got his head clear and figured some shit out for the better.

Then he went out and drank and fucked a freshmen just because he was too socially awkward to date her like a normal teenager. He got her pregnant, and here they were. He knew this wouldn't change his plans, but it nearly changed him. He treated her like dirt. He blew her off, knowing all that he knew about that night, and he was purposefully uncivil towards her. He could have sought her out and talked about it, but he returned to skin that wasn't his—as Carol had pointed out time and again.

Perhaps that was why he did it. She saw him. All of his scars, all of his shit, she saw it. She accepted it and still treated him like a person. He wasn't his father's son. He wasn't a troublemaker by association. He wasn't a screw up. He was just a guy at a party, a guy she felt an attraction to. He took advantage of that, and he regretted it. She could say she wanted it over and over, but she was tipsy, and he took advantage. He liked her. He really did, but big picture was he hadn't gotten laid in months. He wanted someone that night. That was why he had a condom. He planned to get her on her back, and he did. He fucked it up, though. He got lost in her. It'd never happened to him before, but he wanted her more than air, and logic and protection simply did not exist. He wanted to be inside of her quickly as he could, and when he was...

He stopped walking and pinched the bridge of his nose. It was confusing to think about that night, so he didn't, but now he had to. He had to be the adult that he was and look at that night. It changed their lives forever. And it made him even more his father's son, didn't it? He gave in to need. He needed a drink, so he drank. He needed to get laid, so he got laid. But what he really needed was self-respect and the courtesy to just leave Carol to the party and to her friends.

But that didn't matter now. He had to let all of that go. The condom was lost, his desire overwhelmed his brain, and they made a baby. A baby that was now ready to come into this world and be raised by them. Carol would be an amazing mom. She was funny and kind and soft. She had this energy about her that he couldn't explain, but it made him feel...like all of it didn't matter. His past, his scars, his shit—it didn't matter. It didn't define him. He could remake himself, and it...gave him hope. He could be a good father. He could be a good role model. He could have his son look up to him and admire him. He might even earn the honor of having his kid tell his friends stories about him.

If he didn't fuck it all up and...fall back on old habits. He was weak. It wouldn't surprise him if he fucked it all up and—

"You're lost."

He looked up to find Paula standing before him. She looked...weird. She was wearing this overall dress thing with a white undershirt. She had her hair in a long braid. She looked...cute. Innocent. Not like Paula at all.

"Or...is he coming?" She didn't make any moves to get closer to him. "Is Carol in labor?"

"What are you doing here?"

"Girl things. Health things." She gripped her wrist with her fingers. "Is she here?"

"Maybe."

"Oh, don't be an ass. She's here. You're scared shitless."

"Okay, yeah. She's here. She's in labor. Or...pre-labor. Whatever."

"Wow." She tilted her head back. "I can't believe Little Miss Goody Two Shoes is about to deliver a baby. Holy shit."

"Why does it matter to you?"

"It doesn't."

"You've wanted me since I entered the school. You've bullied Carol since she entered that school. It matters to you."

"I don't want to be the one having your bastard, if that's what you mean."

"Don't call my son a bastard."

"He is, though."

"Can't you just crawl under a log and die?"

"I could, but that's too easy." She neared him. "Was it at least good enough for all this?"

"Do you expect me to answer that?"

"No, but...if it was good, maybe she'll let you do it again. You could be a real couple, raise this kid like adults and live happily ever after."

"Are you serious right now?"

"Maybe I am." She folded her arms over her chest. "You two will never work out, you know, if you keep on like this. You're roaming the halls like a zombie, and she's trying to push out your little bundle of joy. How balanced is that? Have her damn back, Daryl. You were so interested in front."

He glared.

She pushed him, and he tripped backwards. "Don't let her go through this alone. It's hard. You can't imagine the emotional and physical toil it has on you. I can't. So you need to be by her side, holding her hand and drying her tears and being a father to your son. Right now, he needs you to be there for his mom, so snap out of it."

"Don't touch me."

"Trust me, it brings me no pleasure to send you into the arms of another girl, but even I'm not that low." She scoffed. "Don't linger here in dead space. It doesn't do anybody any good." She brushed him and made a beeline for the door.

He spun around to speak to her, but she was gone. He ran a hand through his hair and jogged back to the maternity ward.

– – –

"Hey, baby." Karen smiled at her daughter.

"Mmm..." She inhaled deeply and moaned. "What happened?"

"You fell asleep." She rubbed her leg. "Feeling better?"

She nodded and blinked a few times. "What time is it?"

"A little after five." Karen squeezed her knee. "Guess who's been here with you the whole time?"

"Who?" She cleared her throat, following her mom's head nod to Daryl, who was passed out in the armchair in the corner of her room, holding onto her hospital bag. She smiled faintly. "He came."

"Yes, he did." She tucked hair behind her ear. "He let me take a little break and get some coffee. I got you some things from the gift shop while I was gone. I'll give them to you after."

"That's sweet." She rubbed her mouth, feeling dried saliva there, and she winced. "Oh, no."

"I'm right here."

"Aaah." She clasped her mom's hand. "Mom."

Daryl roused to the sounds of agonized cries and found Carol curled up on the hospital bed, her mom trying to ease her, and his heart...stopped. She was in such pain. He had never seen her like this before. He had seen her happy, pissed off, pouting, sad, but never once like this. She was...in hell right now with this pain, and he was roaming the damn halls, making it all about him. Christ, he was worthless. He really was worthless.

"Daryl," Karen called to him. "C'mere."

He set the bag on the floor and went to her side. "W—what do I do?"

"Just...hold her. I'll be right back. I need to get Harlan." She kissed Carol's forehead and ran to find the doctor.

"Don't leave," Carol groaned when Daryl started to follow. "Please—don't—leave—me."

"I'm not." He bent down to at eye-level with her, his heart tearing at the tears in her eyes, and he moved the hair from her face. "I'm right here."

She took his hand and buried her face in it. "It hurts." She dug her nails into his palm. "God, make it stop." She was wailing. It was just getting worse. She couldn't do this. She couldn't do this.

"I know it hurts. I'm sorry, Carol. I—I'm so sorry. I'm such an idiot."

She panted as it began to die down, and she lifted her face. "Y—you are an idiot. The biggest."

"I know." He bit his bottom lip hard enough to taste blood.

"But am so I." She snuffled. "And that's...okay."

"How is it okay? You're sufferin'."

"Do you know what I dreamed about?" She searched his sorrowful eyes, and he shook his head. "Our baby. I dreamed about our baby, Daryl, and...I hate how much it hurts. I hate how stupid we were. But our baby... I don't hate him. I can bear this for him."

"You're stronger than me, for sure."

She set her hand over his, her fingers trembling, and he tenderly weaved his fingers through hers. "Later," she murmured, closing her eyes to enjoy the sweetness of no contractions. "Don't leave."

"I won't." He rested his chin on the edge of the bed and drank in her face. The color had fled, leaving her pale and sweaty, her curls stuck to her forehead and to the moisture on her cheeks. Tears rolled down her nose and onto his hand, and she was breathing slowly, soundlessly. His breathing began to match hers, and he brushed his thumb over hers. "I'm gonna be right here."

Or he tried to be, but Harlan asked him to politely wait outside. Carol would understand later, and Daryl didn't want to argue, especially with Karen right there. He didn't want to make it awkward, so he waited outside the room. He didn't have to wait long, but it wasn't exactly good news. She had moved along, but not far enough. She was only far enough to be stuck here at the hospital, but not enough for the epidural. That meant she was going to endure more contractions, and they were only going to worsen.

Karen was on the bed with Carol when Daryl stepped back in. Carol looked drained, utterly exhausted and done, and he wished there was something he could do to speed this along. He just didn't know what. All he could was be there. And endure.

"Your son's a prick," Carol grumbled at Daryl.

He actually laughed. "I'm sorry."

"You should be." She wiped her eye and set a hand on her stomach. "You owe me when this is over. You owe me big time."

"All right, I owe you. Whatever you want."

Karen cleared her throat. "Maybe not "whatever"."

"Mom." Carol blushed.

"You're in labor, and this embarrasses you?"

 _"You_ embarrass me."

"Then I'm doing my job correctly."

She rolled her eyes and leaned back. "Anybody have any stories? Short stories. Too long, and I'll have another contraction and probably want to rip your tongue out."

"Uh, I got a couple." Daryl offered. "Appropriate. Sorta."

"Tell me." She rolled her head to the side to gaze at him.

"One time Merle and I went fishin'..."

– – –

Lori moaned softly, rolling over and nearly falling off the seat. She gasped and caught herself, Axel was passed out in the seat with the book on his stomach, and she sat up. She exhaled and stretched, checking her watch and groaning. She stood up and checked her phone, stepping outside for fresh air.

"Just what I wanted." Her eyes narrowed as the sun began to rise. "Nearly eight in the morning on a long weekend, and I'm not at home asleep."

"Way to be bitter."

She spun around and laughed. "Michonne!" She hugged her. "What are you doing here?"

"Rick called." She rubbed her back. "And I couldn't sleep."

"I got a text, and Amy wanted to babysit, so." Andrea grinned at her. "We came to check on our best bests. What have we missed?"

"Nothing." She deflated. "It's been a slow, slow, slow process. I'm pretty sure I could have gotten pregnant and had my baby by now."

"So dramatic." Michonne looped her arm through Lori's and guided her back towards the hospital. "Let's get a crappy breakfast and talk it over."

"Then go see Carol." Andrea tucked her hands into her pockets.

"You won't like what you see, trust me."

They had breakfast and coffee, Michonne gave Lori a shoulder rub from her awful nap position, and Andrea laughed at Lori the entire time. She threw soggy bread at her, and they scurried from the cafeteria before they were kicked out. Carol's room was the next stop.

"Carol?" Andrea was the first to enter, finding Carol waddling about the room alone. "Hi."

She groaned.

"That's not a good sound." Michonne stepped out from behind her girlfriend. "How's it looking."

"6." She was livid. "In fourteen hours, 6!"

"What does that mean?" Andrea turned to her girlfriend.

"She's a little over halfway there." Michonne frowned. "Is there anything we can do to help?"

"Either of you wanna have this baby for me?"

"See? She's a peach," Lori whispered.

"I heard that." Carol glared. "I'm sorry I'm not all smiles and rainbows when my body is preparing to push out a small human."

"I didn't—"

"And if you can't be supportive then just go home. Go make out with Rick and pretend this isn't happening."

"I'm not gonna leave you." Lori stomped her foot. "I'm grouchy, but I'm gonna be here. That's my nephew."

"Then stop complaining about my shitty mood. I can't help that I'm upset and grumpy. I can't even get dilated. I don't know what to do. I am exhausted and emotionally shot." She was on the verge of tears. "I just wanna go home and sleep. God, I'm so tired."

"Hey, I have an idea." Michonne removed her coat. "My mom did this when she was in labor with Andre. Do you trust me?"

"Yeah."

"Good, because we're gonna have that baby out of you in no time."

"Don't get my hopes up. I can't take it."

"Come on." She laughed. "Just...loosen up."

"I can't." Her face scrunched. "Get Mom. Get Mom. Get Mom."

Michonne grasped her arm as Carol groaned, and Andrea hurried to her side. Lori flew out of the room to find their mom, and Michonne had a feeling her idea wasn't going to work. Mom had done this before. Carol was a first timer. Carol was also smaller than her mom and sixteen, so...new plan...?

––

Michonne, Andrea, Lori, Axel and Daryl sat in the lobby. Karen and Carol were with the doctor, so Daryl excused himself. Andrea and Lori were playing a card game, Axel was working on a crossword puzzle, and Michonne was reading Lori's school book.

"Next time," Michonne inquired over the book, "better be faster than this time. Or I'm not coming."

"She's talkin' to you, Dixon," Lori commented, adjusting her hand.

"Next time?" Axel lowered the newspaper puzzle. "Who said there's gonna be a next time?"

"Carol's gonna have more than one kid," Andrea answered. "With Daryl or with someone else, it's bound to happen."

He heaved a sigh and chose to get another cup of coffee rather than be a part of this conversation.

"I doubt we'll have another one," Daryl remarked. "I definitely won't be havin' another one."

"Never say never." Michonne turned the page.

"No, this is it. I don't even deserve this one. I mean...Carol deserved a better guy than me, and if I had been better, this wouldn't have happened."

"It's not about "deserve"," Michonne stated, "or "better". It's about what your life gives you and what you make with it. Okay?"

"Sure."

"No, not sure. You don't get to "sure" this situation. This is it, Daryl, the make it or break it moment. In a few hours, your child will be here, screaming, hungry, wanting love. If you can't be here for him right now, then walk. You shouldn't be around to hear his first breath if you won't be there for his first word and first bike ride and first day of school. This isn't a game. This isn't just your life. It's his. He'll need you, and more importantly, he'll want you. You can't just walk away from him. Not unless you do it now before he has a chance to even see you." Michonne's dark eyes burned into Daryl's, and he gulped. "It's a yes or a no. A stay...or a go."

Axel came barreling through the lobby. "It's time! She's at 10. He's ready."

Daryl stared at Axel, feeling Michonne staring at him, and suddenly the world began to tilt.

––

There are moments in life when you look back and realize what they truly were about. They show you how fate played a part, or how one friend helped another get the girl, or how people can really come together when it matters most. They can also depict how much someone has grown, and how much a decision really doesn't mean anything...until it does.

Lori and Karen were in with Carol as she gave birth, Andrea and Axel were calling their grandparents and Merle to let them know what was going on, and Michonne and Daryl were waiting in Carol's currently empty room. Daryl was stroking the soft fur of the bear blanket Michonne had bought for his son, and Michonne was meditating.

They were at hour twenty, and Daryl had barely slept since coming to the hospital. He wanted to talk to Michonne, but his brain was mush. He couldn't get the words out. So instead he curled up on the floor in the corner with the bear toy with a blanket body and drifted off, thinking of a boy with bright blue eyes and soft auburn curls.

" _Daryl... Daryl... Daryl, wake up."_

He hummed softly and rolled over.

"Daryl!"

He jolted at the contact and found Karen standing over him. "Huh?"

"Hey, sleepyhead." She smiled at him. "Did you have sweet dreams?"

He did, actually. "How's Carol?"

"She's good. She's...great, even." She beamed at him. "Do you want to meet your son?"

"My son..." He shot up and saw Carol was in her bed once more, only she held a bundle in her arms. He was rooted to that spot, looking at Carol smiling down with such ardent love at the boy in her arms, and Karen pushed him ever so gently forward.

Carol turned the loving gaze on him when he drew closer, and she tucked the blanket down under his chin so he could get a better view of the handsome little guy. "Heh." She smiled when he burbled at Daryl. "Yeah, that's your daddy."

Daddy... He stared at the child. He was so...tiny. He had to be seven pounds at most. His eyes were too dark to tell the color, and he hardly kept them open long enough for anyone to be able to check. His little nose was wrinkled—all of him was wrinkled, really—and Daryl could tell he'd gotten Carol's nose. But by the way his lips curved when he yawned, he knew the boy had a Dixon's mouth. He could only hope it was simply the shape, not the words and attitude.

"Do you want to hold him?" Carol offered.

He moved back and shook his head, Carol frowned and reached out with her free hand to catch his, and he tensed. "Wait..."

"C'mere." She pulled him back towards her and lowered his hand down to their son. Baby boy reached for his daddy's hand instantly, Carol smiled, and Daryl gasped like he'd been burned when his son's hand found his.

His fingers moved of their own will and gently stroked his chin, Daryl's lips curling into a gentle smile at how odd this felt. His fingers then caught baby boy's hand, and then suddenly baby boy was in his arms, and the world that had once titled slammed into an upright position.

"Hey." An airy chuckle of a word.

Carol grinned at the sight of her boys, Axel had to excuse himself before he got emotional, and Karen went to him. He was such a softie about babies. He was likely remembering the first time he held Carol. That big loaf.

"Easy peasy," Carol mused.

"Easy peasy," Daryl murmured, never taking his eyes off their son. He'd never seen something so...amazing and precious and...life-affirming. God, how could he ever have thought for one moment that this wasn't the right path?

The family came in two rushes. Daryl was nervous about his son being passed around to a bunch of sixteen-year-olds, but Carol was sixteen, and he had to loosen up. He kept an eye on their arms and jerked forward each time someone passed him to someone else, and eventually Carol just held his hand to try and calm him. It did little.

Mel was so excited to meet her great-grandson, and she had a shit ton of gifts delivered to Carol's house. She didn't want them to have to deal with loading it up in the card with a newborn in tow. It was thoughtful, and they were both appreciative.

Merle came separately, and he didn't stay long. Daryl wished he had, but he made up some excuse. Carol tried to get him to hold the baby, but he refused. Politely, but it still upset them both. It upset baby boy. He wailed when Merle left. Daryl wanted to go after him, but he was the one holding their son, and by the time he gave him to Carol, Merle was long gone. Daryl would demand an explanation later.

"So, your friends have gone home." Karen set Carol's clothes on the chair, minding her tennis shoes. "I'm going to take this home with me. Do you want me to bring anything back?"

"No, I'm okay." She was leaning over into the little crib where her son slept.

"Daryl's gone home to shower and change."

"After twenty-three hours, I don't blame him." She glanced at her mom. "I'm surprised he lasted that long."

"I'm surprised we all lasted that long." She smiled at her daughter and grandson. "Have a name yet?"

"Not yet. Daryl and I still have to talk about it when he gets back."

"All right, but try and have one by the end of tomorrow. I want to call him by his name, not a pronoun."

"Okay." She didn't like the pressure, but she'd figure it out.

"Dad and I are going home to get the stuff Mel brought for you two."

"We're going home today?" Carol lifted her eyes from her son.

"Tomorrow, but we want to be ready."

"Oh." She wasn't sure if she was ready for tomorrow, but it would come. And soon school would come. She had four more months of it, after all, and she had to find a job. Oh, God. What was she gonna do? What could she do?

"But that's to worry about for tomorrow." Karen pointed to her shoes. "Do you want me to bring you another pair of shoes? These are muddy."

"No, they're fine." She rubbed his little belly to try and relieve herself of stress. "And it's not mud, Mom; it's clay."

"Oh, sorry. Clay then."

Carol stopped her finger and gazed at her mom. "What?"

"What what?" She shouldered her purse. "You okay?"

"Y—yeah, just...exhausted. It's been a long two days."

"Yes, it has been." She kissed the top of her head. "We'll be back soon, sweetie. Get some rest in that time."

"I will—once he has a name."

"Okay." She kissed her fingertips and placed it on her grandson's little tummy. "I love you, baby. I love both of you babies."

Carol rolled her eyes but smiled contently. "I love you, too, Mom."

She hugged her and departed.

It wasn't long before Daryl returned all showered and refreshed. Carol was glad to have him back with a clear head, and Daryl was happy to be back. He went directly to his son, pulling up a chair by his little crib, and Carol giggled blissfully. She was...so happy. It was so wonky, because she was in such torment hours ago but not anymore. She did have a crying fit earlier over getting Jell-o and not pudding in her lunch. It was awkward and embarrassing. God, she couldn't think about it. She might cry again. Jesus, where was any control?

"You feelin' any better?" He was talking to her but his eyes were on his son.

"I got to bathe and clean up." She nodded. "I get to meet the lactouse nurse soon, so I can breastfeed him."

"Yeah?"

"I'm excited. Nervous and a little weirded out 'cause of what Lilly said, but more excited."

"If he's like me, he'll like 'em."

"Perv." She laughed, and he smirked. "I can't believe you said that."

"What? I do."

"Okay, we need to name him," she changed the subject. "I have a name in mind, actually."

"Yeah?" He gave her his full attention. "What name?"

"Clay."

"Clay?" He instantly remembered their first encounter with red Georgia clay, when they sat down and talked about the baby and shit got real for the first time between them. And then again with their dinner. When she slipped, and they first felt him move. "Clay Callies."

"Clay Dixon." She rested her head against the pillow. "Clay Don Dixon."

"Dawn? Like your mom?"

"Yeah, but D-O-N. If that's okay."

"It's okay." He grasped her hand. "It's our son's name."

She snuffled, her eyes filling. "Yeah, it is, isn't it?"

"Hey, don't—don't cry."

"I can't help it."

He pulled his hand from his, she looked hurt, and he walked around her, climbing onto the bed. He wrapped his arms around her, she snuggled against him instantly, and he held her. "If you cry, he'll cry."

"He's sensitive," she reasoned.

"Yeah, he is." He smoothed down her hair. "So let it out so he can see you smilin'."

She rolled over to bury her face in his chest, and he rested his face in her hair. "Thank you for being here."

"No where else I'd rather be," he whispered into her hairs, shifting his eyes to his son. Clay Don Dixon, seven pounds, eight ounces. Born February 12th at 4pm on Sunday. The best gift ever given to either of them.


	16. Job Hunt, Baby

**_Disclaimer: I own nothing._**

– – –

"I brought the car seat from home." Karen set it on the floor. "That's a nice stroller-car seat set. Who gave that to you?"

"Caesar did." Carol slipped her feet into her tennis shoes, carefully pushing herself up off the bed.

"We really need to make thank-you cards." She watched her daughter. "Do you need any help? Or a wheel chair?"

"I'm just trying to pull my pants all the way up." She was glad Mom had packed stretchy pants, because fuck anything tight right now.

"Daryl's gone to the house already. He wants to make up Clay's bed and get most of the items Mel gave you put away."

"That's sweet of him." She sat back on the bed. "Is he gonna stay over? Or just hang out today?"

"I don't know. We'll have to talk to him."

"We?" Carol's nose crinkled. "Mom, it's not...really a we decision, is it?"

"You two may have a baby, but it's still our house. We already have to feed five people. We don't really aim to make it six."

"Oh. Well, I just meant for the first day of Clay being home, not for a week or anything."

"We'll see. Bills are a little tight right now."

She nodded. "When do we get to leave?"

"As soon as Axel pulls the car around. I know you're eager to get out of here." She double checked Carol's hospital bag to make sure everything had made its way back inside.

"Not really, but I miss my bed and my room."

"You'll be in it real soon." She shouldered the bag, spotting Axel's text. "He's here."

She nodded. "So...how do I put Clay into this thing?" She set her hand on the car seat.

"I'll show you."

Carol had a feeling that wasn't going to be the only thing Mom had to show her or help her with in the coming months. Perhaps the coming years. She would learn how to take care of her child as time went on, her and Daryl both, but for now, it couldn't hurt to lean on Mom. Just as long as it wasn't giving Clay to Mom to raise and tend to. He was her son, and she would provide for him.

Rather she would once she got a job to actually be able to purchase things he needed. A job, school, a newborn... What was next?

––

Carol had instantly fallen in love with the crib, despite thinking it was something her Nana had bought for her for the longest. Daryl had to explain that Merle had actually made it, and she was floored. It was so detailed and secure. She loved it even more, and she wanted to thank Merle in person. Hopefully Daryl could lure him out of the house to do that. He still wanted him to be in his son's life. He thought Merle wanted that to, so what was the deal with him at the hospital?

"He's changed." Daryl cradled him to his chest. "I think he's probably ready to eat."

Carol sat in bed, using the blankets to cover the fact that she wasn't wearing pants. "Eat. Right."

He saw her hesitation. "I can go pick up some formula if you're not comfortable with this."

"No, I am. I wanted to breastfeed. I just... I dunno. I thought it'd be different. I thought all of this would be different."

"I'll bet." He seated himself beside her on the bed. "But he needs to eat."

"I know. I won't _not_ do it. I just..." She sighed. "Okay, hold on."

He tried not to look at her while she adjusted her shirt, and he looked down at his son. "I have to work in the morning, but do you want me to drop by after?"

"I don't know." She wished she hadn't worn this tank top. "I'm not sure how this will work."

"I can stop by. We don't live that far away from each other."

"I'd like that. I don't know about Mom, but I'd like that."

"I thought Karen liked me."

"She does, but she's... I think money's tight right now, and nobody thought to tell me that. I'll get a job, and I'll buy things for him and for me. I just...have to find a job that'll accept me."

"I have an offer, if you'd like it."

"Really? Where?"

He turned his eyes back to her at the wrong time and stood up, handing Clay over to her. "I should go. It's pretty late."

"Wait, what about the job?" She tucked hair behind her ear.

"We'll talk about it tomorrow." He bolted up the stairs.

"Weirdo." Carol adjusted her son in her arms and remembered what the nurse told her. She smoothed down his hat and puffed out a small wince at him latching on. "Your dad is a weird guy, Clay." Last she remembered, he liked breasts. Maybe it was just the whole breastfeeding thing. Or her lack of boundaries right now. She was just... She didn't care if Lori saw or her mom. She'd care if her dad saw, but not Daryl, which made sense. Daryl wasn't her dad, and Daryl had already seen them. He seemed to really like them.

"Hmm." She looked down at him. "It's our first day at home. I'm not ready for my first day back at school. Or my first day of work. Firsts are usually awful—not this one, though. This one...I love." She chuckled. "Baby boy."

Upstairs Karen caught Daryl on his way out, and he was a little less awkward now that he was away from Carol and her ample, exposed breasts, so he met her by the kitchen.

"Is everything okay?" She set down the knife she'd been using.

"Yeah, I just need to talk to my brother."

"Oh, well I have a meeting at school in half an hour. It takes almost half that time to get to school, so could you do me a favor?"

"Sure."

"Take this down to Carol. She needs to eat something." She held out a plate with a sandwich and a healthy serving of chopped strawberries and cucumbers.

"She's feedin' Clay," he stated.

"She can eat at the same time," Karen commented, and saw him shift awkwardly. "Does that make you uncomfortable?"

"A bit. I mean, she just sorta...pulled it out, and I get that that's the main purpose of...it, but I don't think she'd want me around right now."

She smiled at him. "Daryl, _it_ is a breast."

"I know, and considerin' the last time I saw them, I was—" he cut off at Karen cocking a hip and arching her brow. "I just don't think it's appropriate."

"Carol's in no shape to have sex or want sex. She just had a baby."

"I'm not sayin' she is or would, but I don't think it's fair for me to be uneasy."

"It's not, no, but all you have to do is set it on the coffee table. Please, I'm really running behind."

He groaned. "Fine."

"Thank you. And I'm sorry." She handed him the plate and hurried out of the house.

He rolled his eyes and headed back downstairs, squinting to avoid seeing anything, but Carol had covered up with a small blanket. He relaxed and came off the steps. "I brought you some food."

"Oh, that looks good."

"Your mom made it."

"And forced you to bring it to me?" She nodded. "I'm sorry. This weirds you out. You can just leave it here on the bed."

"It doesn't weird me out." He shuffled his feet. "It's...awkward."

"Isn't that the same thing?"

"Not really. I just...gotta go. I have to talk to Merle, see if he wants to come by and see Clay now that we're home."

"Okay. Thank you for bringing me food. I'm starving."

He handed over the plate and departed, shaking his head at the thoughts forming there, and he hoped being away from her would clear his mind.

– – –

"Hey, Pops, you got a call." Caesar stood beside the gift wrapping station. "It's Carol."

"Again?" He frowned. "Is she okay?"

"Yeah. Probably."

"Probably?" His frown deepened. "What does that mean?"

"I don't know. She sounds worried, but she has a newborn and is home alone. I'd be worried, too." He was assuming. He didn't ask for any details, just how she was, and he could use a nap for her.

"This isn't okay if she's not okay. I'm at work. I can't just leave every time he burps weird." He removed his gloves. "I thought the kid would be demandin', not her."

"She speaks for the kid," he imparted. "And you do have a way with him."

"I can't leave to put him down for a nap. I have to get my hours."

"I know that, but Dad's fine with it if you have to."

" _I'm_ not fine with it." He tossed his gloves and went to the back office to answer the phone only to find Amaro hanging it up. "Wait, I had a call."

"I took it for you." He leaned back in his chair. "He's five weeks now, isn't he?"

"Yeah." He had to do the math, but it's hard to forget the day your life changed forever. "Almost six weeks."

"I remember when Caesar was five weeks. He was a silent baby, and I was constantly fearful. I stayed in his room to make sure he was still breathing. I practically lived in it. Now I have to tell him to keep it down." He chuckled.

"I should probably check on Carol."

"No, that's taken care of. Go work the floor."

"Wait, how is it taken care of?"

He hopped up. "It just is. Now go on. I'm sure those ribs can sell themselves, but having you there helps."

Daryl returned to work with a frown, Caesar wondered what was up but had to fill these orders, and Amaro left to pick up lunch for them. Caesar tried to get Daryl's attention to see what was up, but Daryl got hit by customers. He'd just have to wait until they were alone.

Daryl counted the change out and handed over the coins to the customer, wrapping up her meat and bagging it. He lifted his eyes to find Amaro back with lunch—and a baby. _His_ baby, to be exact.

"What the hell?" Daryl was glad the woman had left, because he couldn't keep that one back.

"It's a tuna melt." Amaro lifted the bag. "And a meatball sub. You two can fight over who gets what, but the Italian sub is mine."

"No, not the food. My son." He walked over to him.

"I'm babysitting. Carol has a job interview at four, and she needs rest. She looks just awful. She sounded like crud, so I offered. I have the skills and time. My calendar is clear." He adjusted his grip on the car seat. "Lunch will be in the back."

Daryl stammered and tried to think of something to say, and Caesar smiled at his reaction and his dad's actions. They both had to return to work quickly, as another "guest" entered the store, and Caesar took his lunch first. Daryl would be fine to deal with customers, and he had finished the gift orders. Besides he needed to talk to his dad.

Dad was on the phone with their delivery guy, and Caesar saw Clay's car seat was secured onto a chair beside Dad's desk. He always was handy with rope.

"I'll talk to you later." He hung up. "How can I help you?"

"What're you doing?" He held out a hand towards Clay.

"Babysitting. It's been a while. I miss it."

"Dad."

"She's sixteen, Caesar." He looked over at Clay. "Her mom has work and her own life to get a handle on. Her dad pretty much lives in his office. They can't change their lives for her. They tried, but it's screwing them over financially. She needs a job, which she can't get with a five week old strapped to her back."

"You said you could hook her up with a job."

"I'd love to, but...I talked it over with Flo, and she pointed out major flaws in that." He huffed. "I can only do so much. I don't mind babysitting when I'm not busy. I do enjoy the company, and once they get settled into this life, I'm sure they'll figure the rest out."

"Daryl's pissed."

"Let him be pissed. It isn't about him. He isn't failing as a father by busting his ass at school and at work and turning around to spend hours at Carol's, because she's overworked by having to teach herself how to take care of her baby. If he wants to fight about it, we'll fight, but it's fruitless. They can be the best damn parents in the world and still need assistance. That's just life. We all need help to reach where we are meant to be in life. Together. One step at a time."

He smirked. "All right, Team Dad."

"Shut up and eat your tuna melt, mi luz."

He chuckled and bent down, waving at Clay. "Hey, little guy."

Big blue eyes flickered to Caesar, and he cooed.

"He's so mellow. Did you give him something?" Caesar mused.

"I'm just really good with kids." He clicked his pen. "I had a lot of baby cousins, and...I would have liked to have a few more babies of my own, but life is what it is."

Caesar frowned. "Dad..."

"I'm sure you'll give me plenty of grandchildren to gray my hair and slowly drive me insane."

He swallowed. "Yeah...plenty."

"Now, you really should eat. Daryl's gonna need his break to come and have it out with me."

"Yeah." He straightened and sat down in the chair, sitting down and unwrapping his sandwich. He glanced at his dad and wondered if it would be okay to tell him he had a crush on a guy. Would he be okay with it? He knew his dad would never not love him, but...how would he take it? He really didn't know.

But he couldn't get the words out, and then his lunch was over, and Daryl went flying back to the office to demand to know what the hell was going on. He was only stopped by Amaro playing with Clay. He was lifting him up oh-so carefully, making faces at him and blowing raspberries on his belly. He made this little giggling sound, and Daryl had never heard him make those noises before.

"It's your dad." Amaro stood up and held Clay out to Daryl. "He's getting fussy. He misses his parents."

"Oh." Daryl set the sub down and gently took his son. "Thanks."

"He's a good one. He's not too loud, and he doesn't constantly need affection. He likes it, though, especially the kisses. I guess Carol does that a lot."

"She does." He adjusted Clay in his arms and cut a questioningl y look at his boss. "Why did you do this?"

"I'm free today, and bored. I have life skills—baby skills—and you two need some outside help. You don't have parents, and Carol's parents don't have time to constantly be there. They have to work, and you both have to work, and today I had time. That's a lot of parenting—time. You have to make time for appointments and for fun. You have to enjoy little moments of time when he's sleeping, and you can study or rest or just be a kid. Don't look at my kindness as charity. It's simply kindness. I enjoy the company. I really do."

"Thank you, Amaro. Really."

"Don't mention it. He's...precious."

"He gets it from Carol, I think." He smiled down at his son.

"I think he gets it from both of you." He set a hand on his shoulder. "Carol's gonna be by. It's nearly his lunchtime, too."

"Oh." Daryl's lip curled.

"Not a fan of the natural feeding process?"

"No...it's... Yeah, actually, I'm not. It makes me uncomfortable and guilty."

"Guilty? What for?" He tried not to laugh.

"Because..." Daryl did not want to have this talk with his boss. Or anybody.

"Because?" Amaro studied him and ahh-ed suddenly. "I see."

"See what?" He was being defensive, his eye narrow and glaring.

"She's just had your baby. She's nursing. You haven't been with anybody since last June." He nodded. "I might be an old guy, but I do know how people think."

"It's messed up," Daryl complained. "She just had my kid. I was fine before. But now... It's not okay. It's not like it's open season on her just 'cause she's not carryin' him. It's stupid and wrong."

"It is stupid, but...it just means you have feelings for her. It's not hard to see. You two have gotten closer since you found out you'd be parents."

Daryl shook his head vigorously. "No. No, I don't have feelings for her. Or for anybody."

"And why not? She's a pretty girl, very thoughtful and clearly good for you. You obviously had feelings for her at one point to have had sex with her. And don't try and play the womanizer card. You cleaned up your act. I noticed. So she was someone special. Perhaps she still is."

"She can't be. It's too fucked up."

"How? You're both young. You're both in high school. You have a child together and are bound through him and the relationship you've built. How is it messed up?"

"Okay, _I'm_ too fucked up. She deserves better."

"I think you have no sense of self-worth, Daryl. You're a good person, a fine young man. You'll make an incredible father. Once you see that, I think what you're feeling for Carol will make a lot more sense." He checked his watch. "I have to call my assistant. Please, make yourself comfortable."

Daryl grabbed the chair with the car seat and scooted it towards the couch. He gently placed Clay down inside and swiped his sandwich. He sat down and looked over his son, who was looking more and more like Carol as the days went by. He loved that. He was a Dixon, but he looked like Carol. He didn't look like Merle or Daryl. Maybe that meant he would be free of the Dixon name. He would have it but be treated better. He could hope.

"Hey, baby." Carol popped into the office.

Daryl blinked. "How'd you get here so fast?"

"I had an interview down the street." She smiled at her baby. "Oh, I missed you. Were you good? Was he good?"

"Yeah, I think so." He hit the sandwich on his leg. "I should let you uh, feed him...in private."

"But you have to eat, too." She sat beside him. "I brought a cover up."

He made a face. "I can eat out back."

"Daryl, it's March. It's still cold. And the back is where you keep trash. It has to stink."

"I can go over to my apartment."

"Oh, that's right." She smacked herself lightly in the knee. "I can take him over there and feed him, put him down for a nap."

Yeah, she could, actually. "Do you need the key?"

"If it's all right."

"Yeah, it's all right." He dug it out of his pocket eagerly.

"Would it be okay if I napped too?" She smiled pleadingly.

"Yeah, that's fine." He handed over his keys. "The monitor is on my bedside table. It's the camera one."

"Whoa, wasn't that, like, fifty bucks?"

"Yeah, but I want to be able to keep my eye on him."

"I guess we don't all have the privilege of having him ten feet over." She exhaled. "That smells so good."

"Are you hungry?"

"No. I had food. Some time ago." She shrugged and rose off the couch. "I'm gonna head over to your apartment. C'mere, sweetie."

"Wait, how'd the interview go?"

"Okay, I think." She buckled him into the seat and untied the knots. "I hope I get a call back. The woman was very nice."

"That's good. I'm happy for you."

"Thank you." She smiled and pulled him off the chair. "I'll see you at your place later. Eat."

"I will." He waved as she departed for his apartment. He looked down at his sandwich and thought about what Amaro had said. But as his brain wanted to explore that, his heart didn't. It won out, and he simply ate his lunch.

––

Carol heard a knock on the door and went to answer it. She'd just put Clay down for his nap, and Daryl wasn't off for another two hours. She wondered who it was. It could be his boss. She hoped it was as she owed him thanks. She was truly grateful for him taking care of Clay for her. It meant a lot.

As she pulled the door open, she found a woman she'd never seen before on the other side and Amaro. She greeted them with a smile and allowed them to enter the apartment.

"How's the little guy?" Amaro stood by the door.

"Out cold. He sleeps just like his dad." She smiled. "I'd like to thank you again for—"

"It's all right," he gently interrupted her. "Really. I...was glad to help. Any chance I can, I'll lend you a hand. It makes me feel young again to be around a baby."

She chuckled. "Well, still thank you."

He nodded and held a hand out towards the woman. "This is Flo. She's been by my side for twenty-five years. She...has been a dear friend to me, and she's been wanting to meet you. I hope it's okay I brought her over."

"Yeah, of course." She looked over the woman. She was beautiful with strawberry blonde hair, honey hazel eyes, flawless olive skin. She was tall and had legs for days, wearing an adorable pantsuit and giving off...an interesting vibe. She and Amaro must be close. Well, after twenty-five years, obviously, but there was something more there. She was curious about that, but didn't say anything.

"She said she wanted to talk to you about things."

"That would depend on the things," Carol replied.

"Baby things." Flo rested her hands in front of her. "I'm a mother of two rowdy ten year old boys. I thought we could chat."

"Twins?"

"As luck would have it." She glanced at Amaro, and he made himself scarce. "He's a good man. He means well, but this might sound awkward."

"Why?"

"He adores you. Caesar is very fond of you, so he's fond of you. Daryl is like a second son to him, and he wants to see him go far. That's why I'm here today."

"To help Daryl?"

"And you." She stepped towards her, and Carol almost stepped back. "It's nothing alarming, simply a few things to help you as a new mother. I know about your mother, and Daryl's, so I thought I'd impart my knowledge to you. Like a breast pump and some solutions for leaky nipples that worked for me. Chapped, too. With twins, trust me, I had to do a lot of research. I had my sister doing research. I harassed my doctor. She still won't let me come back."

"Wait, you want to show me how to use a...breast pump?" Carol crossed her arms.

"Well, someone has to." She pulled her bag off her shoulder. "When you begin to work, you can't just leave to feed your son. The world doesn't work that way, and likewise Daryl can't pause his life to take his son to you to feed him. This will help him and future babysitters."

"Oh. I hadn't thought about that." She should have. She had just been swamped trying to find a job. She hadn't considered what happened after that. Well, her mind was there now, so that was a plus. Sort of.

"It might seem uncomfortable at first, but you'll get used to it." She took in Carol's disbelieving expression. "Or you'll get used to dealing with it."

"Okay, I guess it can't hurt. Um, I'll have to get mine from home. It was a gift from my gym teacher. I haven't even taken it out of the bag." She paused. "Although it might be here. Some things went home with him after the shower. Let me check the nursery."

It was in the little pale blue kitten bag Sasha had given to Carol at the shower, nestled among the diaper collection they'd gathered. It was no surprise it had been pushed to the back and forgotten. Carol had considered formula until she saw the prices of it. She couldn't afford to buy it with her savings money. It was her insurance in case anything happened to Clay. Her parents had insurance, but she never thought to ask if she could use it for him. She really should ask. God, how much didn't she know? Or was too afraid to ask on?

"It's here." Carol joined Flo in the living room and held the box. "Umm...before we...I learn, um, won't this be awkward? We don't even know each other."

"After all the doctors and nurses who have touched your body the last few months, will this really bother you?"

"True." She sat on the couch. "I'm just...awkward. I'm sorry."

"No, don't be. I'd be the same way if a stranger came up to show me randomly how to use a breast pump." She smiled at her. "I won't do anything to make you discomforted. I'll mostly talk. I've learned to talk a lot to cover Amaro's nervous stutter at meetings and to fill silence when Daryl drops by to speak with him. I'm very good at it. I forgot how to shut my mouth off, too. I apologize." She laughed softly.

"No, it's nice to listen." She tapped her fingers on the back. "So, you've met Daryl?"

"I have. He's a good young man, very sweet and definitely going places." She crossed her legs. "My youngest—two minutes younger—adores him. I had him at work with me for ten minutes, and he wants to be just like him. He also wants to be like Olaf. I was worried thinking it was Count, but it's a snowman?"

She giggled.

"I'm sorry. My husband stays at home with the kids, so I have no idea what they watch and rewatch. I limit TV time when I'm home, so they drink it in, but trust me, I'll take Daryl over coming home to him trying to freeze himself. It started out with training by freezing his clothes, and now he's trying to get into the freezer for the "full experience"." She shook her head. "I sometimes wish Daryl and Caesar were my twins. Well, a second set. They're good souls and good sons, and I adore them. I've been trying to nab the Amaro keeps a picture of the boys on his desk for years now."

"Aww, he has a picture of them?"

"On their first day. Daryl's a sourpuss in the photo, and Caesar's full on metal mouth. It's so precious." She set a hand over her heart. "They've grown so much since then. I'm really proud of them both. I feel like they're partly my boys, too, due to all the stories I've heard and how I've seen them grow over the years."

"Yeah?"

She nodded. "They're not mine, and I know that, but they hold a piece of my heart. I truly hope we don't come to a disagreement over them."

Carol frowned. "Why would we?"

"If anything happens between you and Daryl, or you and Daryl and the baby—and I'm not saying anything will—but I'll be on his side. I've known the young man for years, and Amaro and I have built a support system for him. I'm not sorry about that."

Carol grinned. "I'm not either. That's...awesome. He needs more people on his side, and I'm glad...you'd fight people for him. I know I would. He's... I can't describe what knowing him means to me, and I still have so many layers more to get through. I don't know how I could possibly love him more. He's the father of my son and...an amazing friend to me. I'd never hurt him."

Flo smiled back at her. "That's good to hear." She cleared her throat. "Now, where were we?"

"Teaching me how not to be a crappy mom?"

"You're not crappy. You're a new mom. It's a huge difference. Besides you're young and heading towards a pivotal decision soon. You're allowed to be overwhelmed, but you don't let it become you. That's where mistakes are made. Just...take it as it comes, okay?"

"I will. Or I'll try."

"Try becomes will all on its own if you press it." She turned towards her. "Daryl gets off in two hours, so I have two hours to say all the things that will likely gross him out and chase him from the room."

Carol busted out laughing. "That's not hard to do!"

"I know. I said boob once, and he turned red and fled the office. I didn't even mean it for its original definition." She shook her head. He was about fourteen, and he just turned tail and left. She felt so bad. He was such a baby. Ugh. Now he had a baby. And now she felt old. Aye.

– – –

Daryl entered the apartment to find it dead silent. He locked the door and removed his jacket and shoes, walking into the kitchen to grab a can of soda. He popped it open and continued down the hall to find his son asleep in his crib, and he smiled to himself. He didn't linger there long or else he'd sit on the floor and just watch him sleep. He liked to do that. To just observe this little human he helped bring into the world. Clay was amazing and fascinating and beautiful. He...grew more and more love for his son every time he saw him. Soon it seemed his heart would only have room for Clay. His brain would have to hold the rest.

He moved down to his bedroom and found Carol out cold. He leaned in the frame of the door, his eyes finding her pants folded neatly on the chair on the other side of his nightstand, and he pursed his lips. He drank her in and expelled a noiseless breath. That _was_ it, wasn't it? Well shit.

He couldn't stand to watch her breastfeed. He'd admit it. It rubbed him the wrong way. It wouldn't ever sit well with him, and he knew why. He could pretend he didn't. He could play dumb, but he knew. He'd always known, but he tried to ignore it. Ignorance was bliss, but he wasn't ignorant. He was ignoring it, and it could only be ignored for so long. Moments like these happened, and it came screaming back for attention. He didn't want to give it attention, because...it really made him uncomfortable _._

 _He caught her hips and brought them right up against his, her arms still rested over his shoulders, hands slipping into his hair. He parted her lips with his tongue, no longer holding back, because they were alone. He didn't have to worry about anyone overhearing her and her getting embarrassed. They were alone, and he was going to make her get loud. God, she was already moaning. Fuck._

 _He slid his hands underneath her top, pulling his mouth from hers for air, and she lowered her arms, running her hands down his chest to his hips. He studied her eyes, how her lips parted, how her chest heaved. She was beautiful. He knew she was, but damn. It was as though her full beauty didn't hit him until now. She was stunning. A fucking goddess, maybe. And those eyes... He felt he could drown in them._

 _He guided the smooth material of her shirt up, pulling it from her arms tenderly, and she kind of shied away from him, her hair covered one side of her face. He ran his eyes over her. She was pale but gorgeously so. Her skin was flawless and soft, her stomach flat and fluttering, and she was trying to cover up. He didn't know why. God, she was hot._

 _He caught her chin and then her eyes, she smiled awkwardly, and he kissed the tip of her nose. She exhaled and kissed him before he could move back. He smirked and removed his own shirt to try and relax her further. "You okay?"_

" _Just fine." She nodded._

 _He kissed her softly, one hand traveling up towards her breasts. She was wearing this white lacy bra that matched her skin with three fastens. He knew those types of bras, and it would be easy to rid her of it. But he'd do that later. Her neck needed some attention, and from her soft gasps, she liked that attention. He was sure he'd left teeth marks on her neck, but oh well. She was tasty._

 _He guided her backwards, and she nearly tripped. He caught her, she looked surprised, and he bent down. He removed her shoes and socks then his own, undoing her belt on his way, and he once more guided her backwards—carefully._

 _Her back landed on the covers, he pushed them aside—all fucking ten of them—and seized her mouth. Her lips were warm and soft, all of her was soft, and he wanted to leave all of her raw. Her lips dry, her body aching. He wanted nothing more than to do just that, and he could. She wanted him to. She wanted him._

 _She moaned into his mouth, and he broke their kiss, trailing more kisses down her neck. Only he didn't stop. He continued down to her collarbones and to the duvet between her breasts. He could feel her fevered breathing. She arched her back, he used that to undo her bra and pull it from her body. She wasn't stacked, but they suited her body just fine._

 _He traced his tongue along the tender flesh of her breast, nibbling once or twice, and he swirled his tongue around her nipple, closing his lips around it..._

He dragged a hand through his hair and tried to shake his head of those thoughts. The last thing he wanted Carol to see was him in the doorway in the dark with a hard on.

"Daryl..."

Shit! "Yeah?" He turned his body away from the room, but she didn't say anything. "What's up?"

Nothing.

Was she talking in her sleep? Was she dreaming about him? What about him? He neared her. Was it a bad dream? She didn't seem to thrilled to be saying his name. Though it sounded sleepy. Sorta. He was too panicked to really hear it, so he waited to see if she said anything else.

"Mmm..." A sleepy and soft moan.

Okay. That saved him from being in an awful and awkward position. He would just let her rest. Maybe take a shower. A long...nice shower. It wasn't like he had anything else to do, and there wasn't anybody to bother him. Judging by her snores, she was pretty much out for the night. He'd have to bunk on the couch. It looked comfortable enough. Mostly.

He scratched a hand through his hair and headed to the shower, striping down and washing up. After he dried off, he scrubbed his teeth and tossed on some clothes. He strolled down the hall towards the kitchen and looked in the fridge to see if there was anything he could make for dinner. He pulled out some leftovers from last night and set it on the counter, pressing his lips together, trying to figure out what to make.

He ended up throwing together tacos and beans, and he heard Clay wake. He was familiar with the sound of his after naps snuffles, and he knew his son was hungry. He always burned off his food before his nap and woke up damn near starving from the sound of it sometimes. Daryl was tempted to just give him milk since Carol didn't want him having formula, and he didn't want to wake her, because her sleep was down to an hour or two a night. He would just have to break her rule. Which he already did since he bought a small tub of formula last night.

He cradled Clay to his chest and looked for an empty bottle in the cabinet, trying to shush him before he woke Carol. "I'm movin' as quickly as I can. Cut me some slack, okay?"

"He's a baby. He doesn't understand slack." Carol sleepily stumbled into the kitchen. "Mmm, tacos."

"I was trying not to wake you." He exhaled, mouth down turned at his failure and the exhaustion painted across her face.

"I know his cries, even in my deadest sleep." She reached into the fridge. "Here, just warm this up."

"I thought you didn't want him to have formula."

"It's not. It's breast milk. I...broke in the pump today." She gave a lopsided smile and leaned against the counter. "Mom was supposed to show me how to use it, but you know how things are at home. It's now or ten months from now."

"So...you don't have to wipe out a tit?"

She blinked. "Excuse me?"

His eyes widened in horror, his lips parting to quickly erase that slip of the tongue, and he held his hand out. "I—I just meant—"

"You're relieved to know I don't have to pull out my breast in front of you to feed him?" Carol offered and took over warming up the bottle for him.

"Well...yeah." He sighed. "I didn't mean for it to come out so harsh. I just... I don't like it, all right? It makes me uneasy."

"I know it does."

He narrowed his eyes. "Then why do you do it in front of me all the time?"

"I don't. It just seems like that." She looked at him. "Why do you hate it?"

"Because."

"Because...? What, you had them first?"

"And if I felt that way?"

"That's ridiculous. They were made for him, not you."

"I know they were, and I don't feel like they're mine. I just...remember the night I had them—you!"

She handed him the bottle. "What are you talking about?"

"Do you not remember?"

"The night we had sex? Yes, of course I do."

"Then you have to remember how I was with your...breasts."

"So, every time you see me feed him, you think of that?" She crossed her arms.

"Yeah," he admitted. "And it's fuckin' weird 'cause he likes the one I gave the most attention."

She giggled. "You're...adorable."

"It is fucking weird!" he repeated. "He should like the other one."

"They're the same."

"Not to me."

"Oh, what's next? You have a favorite?" Her brows rose at his confirming expression, and she shook her head. "Okay, I'm too tired to continue this. I'm going to make a plate. Is that okay?"

"Yeah, help yourself."

"Thanks."

"Don't you have a favorite?" Daryl tried to casually ask, adjusting the bottle as Clay drained it.

"No. They're just boobs." She opened the sour cream and stirred it. "And they're a pain in my ass right now. You have no idea."

"The leakin'?"

She turned blood red and flinched. "What?"

He looked up from Clay and noticed her cheeks, not realizing that would be embarrassing. "I...just...er, noticed once."

"Once? When?"

"It's not important." He turned to leave. "Need to grab that burping towel—"

She exhaled and crossed her arms. "I should be concerned about it, but I am too tired to care. I pushed a baby out, and my body has a lot going on. I'm not embarrassed. I hope not too many people saw though. There's enough talk."

"It wasn't somethin' you notice anyhow." Daryl met her eyes. "And you know me. I don't talk. I observe. I see what most people don't. That's...how I noticed you in the first place."

Her eyes peeked at him, any faint feelings of humiliation or coming judgement drained out of her faster than the milk in Clay's bottle. She searched his eyes. "What...?"

Daryl blushed and stammered. "Well...had to notice you somehow...right?" he whispered it, but his eyes never left hers.

"Daryl..." She smiled softly at him and stepped closer to him. "That's...the sweetest thing anyone's ever said to me." She felt herself being pulled forward, and she was about to lean up when Clay threw up. "Oh!" She jumped back.

Daryl sighed. "Shoulda let me get that towel..."

"I'll run him a bath."

"Nah, I got it. It's on me, too, so...we could both use a quick scrub." He headed to the bedroom to get a change of clothes for them both. "Just help yourself to dinner."

Carol smiled to herself and returned to making herself something to eat.

Clay was passed out in the little chair hammock Caesar had caved and bought them on the coffee table, an empty plate of chocolate cake beside him with two glasses of milk, and Carol sat beside Daryl on the couch. A movie had been playing in the background, The Princess Bride, and it was Clay's favorite movies to fall asleep to, so they popped it in. It was a great movie, and Carol had the honor of showing it to Daryl for the first time. She was pleased he liked it.

"I'm exhausted." Carol rubbed her ankle. "But I need to get home."

"What's the rush?" Daryl knew it was going on midnight.

"School's the rush. I start back tomorrow." She exhaled. "I could only lay out for a month, and...it's up now. Dad's break starts, and he'll watch Clay while I'm in school. Then...spring break, and it's all me again. After that? I'm not sure, but we'll work it out, right?"

"Yeah." He nodded. "I could probably get Annette to babysit. She's..kind of a friend. She visits the shop a lot, and she helps out at Hershel's clinic, but most days...she's free."

"I remember you telling me about him. I could work for him, you said?"

"Yeah. Do you want me to call him?"

"Nah. I think I have this one in the bag, and I can't ask for a job and a babysitter. It's too much." She exhaled. "Get him ready for me? I need to find my purse and shoes."

"He's...he's good and comfy. Let's not wake him. You can stay the night."

"But all of my stuff's at home," she reminded him.

"So, we get up a little early. I don't mind."

"You sure?"

"If it keeps me from havin' to drive as sleepy as I am then hell yeah, I'm sure."

She smiled. "Okay. Thanks."

Daryl put the plates in the dishwasher and flicked off all the lights while Carol put Clay to bed, and they met outside his bedroom. They had slept in the same bed together more than once, so it wasn't awkward to do it again. Carol had a change of clothes in Clay's bag in case he puked on her, so she put on the yoga pants and removed her shirt to leave her in a tank top. Daryl already wore his nightclothes since Clay upchucked on his last outfit, so he just turned around once Carol was in bed.

Carol yawned widely and loudly, too pooped to even apologize for the noise.

"Same." He pulled the chain to his light and leaned back onto his bed. "Mmm... Don't steal my blanket."

"No promises." She was half asleep already. "Good night."

"Night."

– – –

Carol was greeted by her friends that morning at school with Daryl by her side, and she anxiously held onto her purse strap at all the eyes on her. She had to be yanked out of the house by both Daryl and her dad. She didn't want to leave Clay, and as much as she trusted her dad, she wasn't ready to leave him or return to school. She was terrified, to be frank, and she wasn't prepared for all the eyes. Or comments. God, this was going to hell. Actual hell. Oh, well, there was no real avoiding it. Her education was more important than anyone's opinion. She was what she was, and they didn't know who or what she was so...forget them.

"I have to head to the guidance office," Daryl told her. "You oughta come, too."

"Yeah, probably."

"We'll see you later." Andrea hugged her after Michonne. "We have some notes for you from last week. In case you need them."

"Thanks, guys."

Daryl and Carol headed off together, Lori shuffled her feet, and Andrea let out a breathe.

"Well, this feels strange." Michonne crossed her arms. "Having her gone for so long..."

"And now she's back." Andrea shrugged a shoulder. "I feel like time has stopped and jarringly fast forwarded a month. It's kinda dizzying."

"Let's just try and make her comfortable." Lori spotted Rick and waved. "It's all we really can do."

"True." Michonne nodded.

"Here's hoping everyone else goes along with our plan." Andrea murmured.

Daryl was instantly seen by the counselor, Carol sat down outside with Mrs. North, and she tried to keep herself calm. She had so much needless anxiety. It was waiting for something, just so it could like 'A-ha, I told you!'. But there was nothing. There was just this school and people inside of it who could make the last two years of school hell. She was used to bullying, but they had nothing on her. Now, they did, and it was pretty huge. And humiliating if used correctly. Well, incorrectly. By assholes.

The door opened to the office, Carol looked over as Paula entered, and Mrs. North greeted her as the first bell sounded. Paula sat down beside Carol with her books on her lap, and she looked over, realizing who was beside her, and Carol wanted to bury herself in her purse. She didn't want to have this dreadful conversation right now. She was only twenty minutes back at school. Couldn't it wait until her second hour? Or never?

Mrs. North left to get some coffee, and Carol silently begged for her to come back.

"Damn," Paula ran her eyes over her. "Look who's back."

"Yeah." Carol didn't look at her.

"Still got that baby weight." She reached over and pinched Carol's side through her shirt. "All pudgy and precious." She said it in a baby tone.

"Don't touch me." She smacked her hand and glared.

"What? It's cute. You had a baby at the ripe age of sixteen. The 16th century would be proud." She crossed her legs.

"Why are you bothering me now? It's barely eight thirty, and you have nothing better to do?"

"Yep, I got nothin' else. I'm bored." She shrugged. "And you look like shit. You need to wash your hair. It's dry and greasy, not to mention those pants. Girl, hit up a bigger size. They don't work."

Color rushed to her face, she hugged her binder close to herself and shrank behind it in an attempt to hide herself. "You're not one to give advice on pants, given you hardly keep yours on."

Paula smirked at that. "Got some bite. Adorable. Probably like that baby. How is he, by the way? Clay, right? Super cute name. Not at all stupid."

"Stop talking to me." Her eyes burned into Paula's, trying to calm the emotions she had little control over swelling inside of her.

"Why should I?" Paula glowered at her. "You ruined my life."

"Are you kidding me?" She actually laughed, tears prickling up in the corners of her eyes, and she scoffed. "I was the one who had a baby, and I have never done anything to you. I don't even acknowledge you."

"You...fucking air headed bitch. You took Daryl, the only decent guy in this entire school who would want me for more than just a good romp."

"I didn't take any—"

"You came in here and batted those virginal eyelashes, and you turned him into this one woman pussy. And then I—" she cut off and scoffed. "You must be good in bed to warp him from himself. Or hell, maybe he drank some shit that made his sanity snap. Who knows what Merle cooks up."

"I didn't do anything to him, and shut your damn mouth. You don't know anything about Merle. Or Daryl. You can pretend like you do, but don't try. They're better people than you, and Merle is a hard working guy. He changed himself, too."

"Yeah, I bet. You do him too? I mean it seems like you know an awful lot about him."

"Yes, after I got pregnant by his baby brother, I tried Merle out for shits and giggles." She rolled her eyes. "Grow up, Paula."

"No, you grow up and realize just how much you changed him completely. You're close to ruining him, too."

"If you think I'm ruining him then you really have no clue who Daryl is as a person. You discredit him and his growth, and I'm not going to waste anymore time with you." She stood up, rubbing the tears from her eyes and looked down on her. "If he changed, it was his own doing. He bettered himself, if anything."

"You broke him. He was a happy guy before you came along. Free to drink and fuck as much as he pleased, but you...domesticated him, and now he's chained to you and your little spawn." She shook her head. "And I bet you think you're besties, right? Like he's told you everything about himself and his past. Wrong. Kid, you don't know shit about his darkness and his past. You're a child, and you don't realize how high the flames reach."

"I...don't care about his past. I care about him and his future. That's all that matters."

"Wrong, baby girl. The past drives his future. You would know that if you weren't a dumbass, or if you meant anything to him, but you don't. You're just a leech on his arm, but once he's in college...you won't matter. Only the boy will, and guess who's gonna be there? Not the baby senior, but me, the college sophomore." She crossed her legs. "I already know what he likes."

Carol shook her head. "You're disgusting."

"And you're a waste of space. You ruin lives. You make things more difficult than they need to be. You will always be hated by him, you know that, right? A small part, it might be, but it will hate you for ruining...everything. He wanted a good time, but you made it an eighteen year long commitment. Good job on that part, Carol. It wasn't like his life was—"

Carol rolled her eyes and turned on her heel, leaving this utterly pointless conversation. Paula wanted to let of steam, but Carol wasn't a punching bag for her or for anybody. She had better things to do to prepare for her day, and this wasn't one of them. One day Paula would grow up. Carol hoped it was soon. She did graduate in May.

"Rude! Let me finish, you coward!" Paula huffed and crossed her arms, slouching in her seat and bobbing her leg in annoyance. Little bitch.

Daryl exited the office and saw only Paula, closing the door behind him. "Where's...literally anybody else?"

"North got coffee. Carol went somewhere." She lifted her book and binder to her chest and uncrossed her legs. "It's just you and me."

"Nah, it's just you." He made for the door.

"Wait." She shot up and blocked the door. "I helped you at the hospital, so humor me, please."

"No."

"Please, Daryl, I don't ask for much."

"Not this year, but you've asked for a lot in the past."

"Just one dinner. Or coffee. I'll take a coffee."

"I won't. I have a full time job, homework, a child. I don't have time for coffee. And the last time I checked, you were leaving me and Carol alone. That isn't a... I don't have feelings for you. I never will. I don't want a coffee. Or a friendship. I have plenty of friends."

"I know you do." She gripped her book and binder tightly. "And I don't want a date. I need to talk to you. I can't talk to Carol. Please apologize to her for me."

"Why? What did you do?"

She lowered her eyes. "Have coffee with me, and it'll make sense more why I am the way I am towards her. I want...to change that, I do, but I need your help. It's one coffee. An hour tops. Humor me. Please."

He swallowed and shook his head. "Look, it's not that I can't schedule a coffee. It's that I don't want to. Seriously, Paula, I have to get to class and work then check on my son and go to work. That's my permanent daily schedule. I like my spare time to be spent with people I like and who haven't spent years tormentin' a girl I really care for."

"Then why not come by for dinner? You have to eat. We all have to, and I make a mean meatloaf." She smiled sweetly. "And I just need to talk, please. It'll be an hour tops. And I can break into my parents' booze, the good stuff. I remember you like a good Scotch."

"Why do you need to talk to me?"

"Because no one else in this whole fucking school actually takes me seriously or listens to what I have to say. You do, so listen to what I have to say in exchange for yummy food. And booze, if you're up for it." She met his eyes. "It's...not me trying to make a move. I understand that kid comes first, and Carol is important to you. I wouldn't try and ruin what you have with them. That's not my goal, no matter what I say or have said. I...just need to be heard by someone I trust, and that's you. Please, I—I really don't have anybody else."

He heaved a sigh at the sorrow and hollowness in her eyes. "All right, but...on one condition. You leave me alone after this. We aren't friends, Paula, and I'm still not okay with how you've treated Carol, so we sure as hell be friends because of that. Until she's okay with you, this is the last time I even want you to talk to me, okay? You don't get to hurt people I care about and then treat me like we're friends, because it doesn't work like that. Carol is more than just...the mother of my kid, and you don't get to treat her like trash then sweet talk me, got it? It's the last time."

"I understand." She forced a smile. "Lucky girl you have..."

He stepped aside. "Just...meet me at my work. You only get an hour. I have to stop by to see Clay before I head home."

"Great." She beamed happily. "See you at...?"

"Eight-thirty."

"Looking forward to it."

––

"Hey, kiddo, what's up?" Karen found Carol at her desk, looking pale and red-eyed. "Are you okay?"

"I...miss Clay is all." She snuffed. "Um, I...don't think I'm ready to be here right now."

Karen sat beside her. "Why do you think that?"

"I don't have control over my emotions, and I miss my son. I feel...torn in half. I hate being here. I liked being at home."

"Life isn't about what you like doing." She set her hand over hers. "I know readjusting is challenging, but you have to get back to everyday life. I know that seems cruel, but soon summer will be here, and nobody will remember this year. Most of these students will graduate, and you'll be one year closer to getting out of here. It's all about the big picture."

"But the little picture, the right now, hurts." She snuffled. "People keep staring at me. I feel like a circus act. People are saying...harsh things to my face. I can't deal, Mom. It's overwhelming, and it's shit. Just because I had a baby doesn't make me any different than them. It just... I want to be able to handle it. I want to be able to take their words and shrug them off, but it's so hard lately. I don't know why, but...there's a pain in my chest, and nothing seems to get rid of it. I'm trying so hard..." She could fend off Paula, but the tears still came. She couldn't make them stop. Why couldn't she make them stop?

"Ssh, sweetheart, it's okay. Calm down." She gripped her hand. "I'll talk to the principal and try to work something out for the last two months, okay? How does that sound?"

"Please. I just need some more time." She covered her mouth with her hand and began to cry again. "Mom, I—"

"Who's doing it?" Karen's heart broke at the sight of her daughter in tears. Carol didn't say anything, just cried, and Karen stood up to hug her. She rubbed her back and crouched down beside her to sooth her. If she found out who did this, she would have them in the principal's office before the hour was up. Little fucker.

Carol settled down, and Karen had her sit in Sasha's office for the day since it was empty due to her being on maturity leave, and nobody bothered her office. Karen spent her free period with Carol then the vice principal who wanted to talk to her anyway about ways to bolster her college application this summer, and now Tyreese was with her since lunch had come around. Carol stayed in her office and did her schoolwork for the whole time, and it was relaxing to be alone and to teach herself. Plus, the vice principal did know a thing or two about her assignments. It was great. She felt better.

"How are you feeling?" Tyreese had brought them lunch from home. He was used to Sasha eating part of his, so he made extra by mistake. No mistake now. Carol could use this pick me up of veggies and protein. It would be good brain good and mood booster.

"Like a rock has rented out my chest." She accepted the bowl of colorful veggies and chicken. "This is almost too pretty to eat."

"It tastes good, so it'll understand."

She chuckled softly and collected a bit of everything on her fork, trying it and staring at him with wide eyes at how delicious it was. "Whoa, dude, that's awesome."

"Thank you." He sat down in Sasha's chair and faced her. "And why do you feel like a rock has rented out your chest?"

"You don't want to hear." She ate another forkful, and he caught her eyes. "You don't."

"I asked, didn't I?"

She pursed her lips then lowered the bowl. "I don't know, but...it's more than just coming back to this place." She moistened her lips. "I feel like I'm...a burden lately—to everybody." She played with her food and sighed. "And it hurts more than the rock..."

"You aren't a burden."

"Yes, I am." She swallowed and set the barely touched bowl down on the table beside her. "I'm the reason our bills are so high. Having a baby isn't cheap. And that doesn't include actually having him, the birth process and all. I haven't got a job yet, so I can't buy anything he needs, and I overheard my parents talking about the bills. They're cutting my dad's phone, and they're cutting back the cable."

"That doesn't make you a burden."

"It doesn't sound like I'm making their lives easier either, Ty."

"Life isn't about easy. It's about living, and this is a part of that. You just have to take the days as they come. Some days are good, some are bad. You just have to go with it, because it can't all be down. You will get a job. You'll support your son. It'll work out. It takes time to get a job and to get paid, but it'll work out."

"How are you so sure?"

"Because I know your mother, and she is...a fierce soul. You share that with her, blood or not. You'll find a way. And if you can't, you'll build one. That's who you are. That's why I know you're going to crush any opportunity that comes your way. You're not the type to stay down long. This world can't hold you back—only you can—so don't. You got this, Carol, just stand up and keep moving forward." He smiled softly and squeezed her knee. "You will get to those happy days, those easier days, but it'll take time. All good things in life take time. You just...have to wait a little longer."

Carol faintly returned his smile that felt like a pickax shattering the rock on her chest and nodded. "Okay."

"Now eat, you have a test when lunch is over."

Carol smiled wider at him and continued to eat, feeling...incredibly better about her situation, and she kept that mood up the rest of the day. She didn't return to class, but she would be there tomorrow and the next day and the next day until this year was up. She couldn't cower or cry away from life. She wouldn't. It was time to thicken her skin and be a fucking adult. She had a child now. She couldn't be a child herself, so it was time.

Carol met up with Michonne and Andrea after school with a smile and went back to her house with them. Axel and Clay were passed out upstairs, so they went down to her room to hang out. Andrea brought a bag of chips and some sodas, and Michonne flopped down on the couch, stretching out her body. Carol curled up in her armchair and was glad to be able to hang out again. She had missed her friends.

"So, how's everything?" Carol took a handful of chips.

"Boring as ever." Andrea crossed her legs and rested her cup in her lap. "I'm flunking Calculus, and my dad is...not happy. He spent a good portion of the week chewing me out. It was a nightmare."

"I'm tutoring her now." Michonne smirked. "She's a poor student."

"Only because you're so distracting." Andrea returned her smirk. "A teacher really shouldn't fraternize with her pupil so much."

"Can't help it when you look like you do."

Carol smiled. "You two seem happy."

"We are." Andrea looked at her. "We...actually have a trip planned this summer."

"Wow, a trip? Where?"

"It's with Andrea's family," Michonne explained. "It's a cruise."

"Whoa, that sounds awesome. I've always wanted to go on a cruise." Carol nibbled on her chips.

"Yeah, it's a fifteen day cruise, and then we're staying on an island for the rest of the month," Andrea added. "It's... really gonna be awesome, and I talked my dad into letting Michonne come."

"My parents were harder to convince," Michonne griped. "I'm the live-in babysitter, after all."

"But Enid—Maggie's little cousin—offered to babysit for a decent rate," Andrea threw in, "so Michonne gets to come with us."

"That's incredible. Take a lot of pictures for me." Carol couldn't taste the chips just ate, just the sorrow her heart emitted.

"It'd be frigging incredible if you could come," Andrea corrected. "But with Clay so young, no one thought you'd be okay with leaving him for a whole month."

"You're right. I couldn't. Plus, I have to get a job. I can't...chill out on a ship for fifteen days then kick back on an island. It'd be too hard on my parents." She pulled out a dry smile and swallowed a rather thick wad of sadness. Perhaps it swallowed her instead... "You guys will make a load of awesome memories."

"We'll be back in July," Michonne told her, "and Clay will be six months, so maybe then we could all go on a short camping trip."

Carol lifted her eyes. "Really? A camping trip?"

"Of course. You're our best friend, and we're gonna be friends till we're golden oldies." Andrea smirked. "I can drive now, so I'm gonna work on my truck skills. We'll take my uncle's RV and just chill somewhere. Just the four of us, and I'm talking Dad into a senior trip for us. I've been saving my allowance for this trip, and I just want his approval. It'll be for the month of June after we graduate, and it'll be us girls. I've covered with Amy to babysit Clay, and you can trust her to take care of him. Plus, his dad is in town, so maybe he can get in some bonding time too."

"Wait, really?" Carol blinked back tears. "A senior trip? Just us?"

"We'll be going out into the world after that, and I want an awesome trip of just us to cement what we've built here." Andrea smiled lovingly at her. "You guys are my heart, you know that. I... Saying goodbye for college will be like a knife in that heart, so hell yes. We're going to live it up and make memories and work out the details, because I haven't yet."

Michonne and Carol laughed, and Andrea shrugged a shoulder before snickering, and Carol wanted to hug them both. She couldn't believe how lucky she was. She really was...lucky, huh?"

"I love you guys," Carol blurted.

"We love you, too." Michonne reached over and lightly hit her knee. "Through thick and thin, girlie."

A cry upstairs told Carol that Clay was awake, Michonne was on it, and Carol almost burst into tears. Andrea instead guided her upstairs to make some sandwiches and get Clay his snack. Carol was blessed to have them as friends, and Michonne fell in love with the precious baby in her arms as she fed him. Andrea fell in love with the image of Michonne and a baby, and Axel was a little confused to find them all in his kitchen. He thought it was still early morning, but apparently not.

"Where's Karen?" Axel poured himself a cup of coffee.

"She has a bit more work to do, so she'll be home later." Carol handed Michonne the burping cloth.

"Okay, I'll order dinner then." He paused. "Wait, where's Lori?"

"Out with Rick." Andrea smiled at Clay and rubbed his little foot. "She'll be home by ten."

"Lovely." He grumbled and headed to the living room to wake up some. He was not used to days off, but he loved having his grandson around, so it worked itself out. That, and he had time to do some work on the side.

"He's adorable." Andrea exhaled. "He looks just like you, too. Look at those curls."

"Look at these eyes." Michonne wiped his chin. "Almost makes me want one."

"Well, please, wait." Carol tenderly accept her son from Michonne.

"I intend to. I'll just rent him from time to time." She set the cloth down. "So, what do you want to do?"

"Well, Daryl's usually by after work, so we have a few hours to ourselves. Want to watch a movie?"

"I'd love to watch a movie. I haven't watched a good one in years." Andrea hadn't recovered from the math movie she was forced to watch. It was pure torture. Damn the teacher who fooled them.

"I'll pick one out." She handed Clay over to Andrea. "Easy, please."

"I used to hold Amy all the time." With her mom's aid, because she was still young.

Carol headed to the living room to pick out a movie, and she heard her phone ringing. She answered it as she opened the entertainment center to pull out a DVD, and she heard the voice of the woman who interviewed her.

"Mary." Carol froze in picking out movie and gripped the phone like it was a buoy and she was trapped at sea. Oh, God, was this...a call back? Did she get the job? Oh, God, she felt sick with nerves. Keep cool. Keep it cool.

"Carol Callies?"

"Yes, this is she."

"Oh, good. Well, I was calling to let you know that I'd like you to come back in this Wednesday after school, so we can start the paperwork to get you started here."

"I—I have the job?"

"You have the job."

Carol grinned. "Thank you. Thank you so much."

"I look forward to seeing you again, Carol. Can you be here by four?"

"Yes, absolutely."

"Excellent. I look forward to seeing you again, and I hope you have a good day."

"You, too. Good bye." She hung up and beamed. "Thank God." She couldn't wait to tell everyone she had a job. They would be so relieved. She knew she was. Ugh, this was a weight off her chest. She could have laughed out loud she was so happy. She couldn't wait to tell Daryl. He would be so impressed. She had to call him and be sure he was coming over.

– – –

Daryl changed out of his work clothes and waited outside the shop for Paula, tempted to just leave her hanging and head over to Carol's. Sadly, he had no chance as she pulled up a moment later, and he felt his phone buzz in his pocket. He pulled it out and ignored it without checking the name. He didn't want to know who he was disappointing to meet with her. He was already disappointing himself, and that was enough for right now.

"Coffee," he insisted before she could mention her place. "One hour."

"I know, boss, and I also know a coffee place right around the corner." Paula glanced at him. "Thank you for...meeting me."

"Yeah, don't make me regret it."

"Promise." She flashed a toothy grin and drove off.


	17. Dance With Me

**_Disclaimer: I own nothing._**

– – –

"She needs a boost," Andrea commented. "If her sweaters get any bigger, she'll die come summer."

"I'm already dying for her." Michonne fanned herself. "Woof."

"What do you want me to do about it?" Daryl ate his breakfast like a starved man. He had fallen asleep at Carol's and didn't eat dinner with them. He felt...awkward eating there now. There were bills all over the table last night, and he couldn't add to them. He just felt guilty, so he stayed downstairs with Clay and played with him as best one could play with an infant. He mostly changed his phone wallpaper to a good photo of the boy and read a story to him before passing out face down on the couch while rocking him in that little rocker chair thing Karen had picked up for him. "I ain't exactly good in this department."

"I might be able to help." Paul pitched in, having joined them partway into the conversation. "But first this is about raising Carol's self-confidence, right?"

"Yeah." Michonne nodded. "Raising that sucker up high."

"Then I can help. Bring her by the community center after school."

"She has work at six, so it'll have to be quick."

Daryl titled his head to the side. "Wait, what?"

"Well, it's not work so much as training," Andrea corrected her girlfriend. "She got a job at that grocery store a couple blocks down from the meat shop last week. She went through the second and final interview a couple days ago, and training begins at six. She works till eleven on week days."

"Why are we telling you this?" Michonne narrowed her eyes. "Shouldn't you know? You practically live with her."

"She didn't...tell me," he murmured.

Paul glanced from Michonne to Daryl before returning the conversation to the previous subject. "That's fine, just bring her by."

"By where?" Caesar sat beside Daryl, and Paul averted his eyes.

"The community center after school," he muttered, visibly turning away from Caesar. "The one a few miles down the road."

"Oh, yeah, I know it." Caesar opened a baggie and bit into a carrot. "My dad sponsors it."

"Your dad...is Amaro?" Paul met his eyes.

"Yeah." He nodded.

"Dude, he's done so much for that community center. He's made it a safe place for underprivileged kids, and he's remodeled it and cleaned it up." Paul was gushing. "He's...done an awesome job with it since the last time I was there. I'm really impressed. Tell him thanks, please."

"It's no big deal," Caesar shrugged a shoulder.

"Please tell him I said thanks, Caesar."

He swallowed. "Okay, I will." He cleared his throat and turned to Michonne. "Hey wait, isn't that dance group coming together today?"

"Dance group?" Andrea frowned. "What are you planning?"

"Paul, don't tell me you're thinking of involving her in that." Michonne shook her head. "She doesn't have the self-confidence to even think of joining."

"Which is why you'll have already signed her up for the six week program, and she'll have to do it. It'll look good on her college resume. It's marked as community service, helping underprivileged kids and such." He smirked. "We'll whip her into shape."

"We're not trying to whip," Andrea argued, "just...,like, I dunno...tap?"

"Sometimes a whip can be like a hard tap."

"In what world?"

He smirked even more. "Mine."

"We're not going there right now, but fine." Michonne heaved a sigh and frowned to herself. "I'll talk to her."

"What?" Andrea exclaimed. "Mich, no. She can barely look at herself in the mirror, let alone help kids dance by example."

"I trust you," Michonne said to Paul, "to help her and not hurt her, but if this goes South, I won't forgive you. Having Clay has had a poor influence on her mental state, and she needs to be brought out of it gently. All right?"

"I'm gentle," he assured. "And you'll all be there, too."

"What?" Andrea and Daryl erupted in union. "Why?"

Caesar winced. "Yeah, Dad...kind of is paying us to help them during this time instead of working at the shop. I—I was supposed to tell you last week, but you were so busy with Clay and stuff, and I didn't really want to have this conversation with you, because I know you. But here we are." He pulled out an apologetic grimace. "I'm sorry, dude. It's mandatory."

"Yes, but I don't work with you guys," Andrea cut in.

"But I had to bring four people in." Paul pointed to Michonne. "She said you'd like to do it, so I signed you up, too, and it's kind of one-way."

"How is that?"

"Because I really need to bring in four people. You, Michonne, Carol and my sister are my four. Enid barely makes the cut, but hey, I'll take it." He met her eyes. "Please, Carol needs all the support she can get, right? What have you got to lose?"

"C'mon, Andrea," Michonne pleaded.

She smiled softly. "Of course I'll do it for Carol, but let me know, okay? I can only take so many more shocks this year."

"Thanks, babe." Michonne grasped her hand and kissed it since she couldn't technically kiss her in school.

"What about me? I ain't doin' this shit." Daryl scoffed. "I'll quit."

"Dude, don't be so dramatic." Caesar set a hand on his shoulder. "We're helping hands. You know Dad wouldn't force you to do something you're not comfortable with. He just needs spare babysitters for the little ones. We're basically babysitters, but I'm in on helping Carol all the way. I'd rather do that than watch kids. I'm bad at it. Really bad, like don't let me babysit Clay alone until he's ten."

"Good to know." Daryl knocked his hand off his shoulder. "Can I bring Clay?"

"Yeah, 'course."

"Then fine. I guess getting paid to watch kids ain't so bad." He ate another sporkful of food. Mostly.

"I can't wait to see you all there." Paul hopped up. "Bring a spare set of clothes, by the way, something loose."

They all shot back with yes or okay or uh-huh, and Daryl swallowed with a bitter taste in the back of his throat. He rested his chin in his palm and looked at the group one face a time. "This better work, or Carol will kill us," Daryl stated once Paul walked off.

– – –

Carol waited outside with Clay for Daryl to pick them up for something "fun" before her first day of work, she adjusted the hood to the car seat and stood up when she saw Daryl's truck nearing. She picked up the carrier and greeted him with a smile, he took Clay instantly and prepared the car seat, even double checking how she'd fastened him in. She frowned at that and felt disappointed that he didn't trust her to do that properly. Had she done it wrong this entire time?

"Better to be sure." He turned to face her, and she perked up a little at that. "You okay? You look sad."

"Rough week." She shrugged. "I...feel drained, and...I don't really feel like getting out of bed, but I'm here. I...wanna have fun."

"No, you don't."

"Okay, so I don't. I just had a baby. I'm not ready for fun. I'm ready for... I don't know. Bed? I feel unbalanced, okay? Stop judging me."

"What said I was judging you?"

"Your face." She studied him. "Do you trust me with him?"

"Who? Our son?" He nearly laughed. "Of course I do. You're a great mom."

"I don't always feel like a great mom."

"You are." He reached out and grasped her hand. "You'll get through this rough patch. 'Kay?"

She smiled a little and nodded. "It's probably the job hunting that took all of my energy." She forced a laugh. "You really have to lie for those interviews."

"Seriously. I told Amaro I was a people person." She giggled at that, and it was real and deep, and Daryl smiled at that. "Yeah, he told me later he didn't believe it either."

"Oh, my God." She covered her mouth with her hands and giggled deeply, stumbling forward, and he caught her shoulder to keep her from falling. Her forehead hit his chest, and she shook with laughter. "That's t—terrible. I shouldn't be laughing." She couldn't stop.

"Glad to hear you laugh," Daryl fervently murmured against her hair. "Terrible or not."

She hummed another laugh and smiled at him. "I needed that. Thank you."

He smirked. "Get in the car, Callies."

"Okay."

It didn't take very long to arrive at the community center, Carol leaned forward and frowned somewhat at the sight of it, and Daryl hoped her friends were here to help with this. It already felt like it was going downhill fast.

Andrea and Michonne greeted them by the door, looping arms through Carol's as they climbed the stairs to the second floor, and Daryl followed behind them with Clay. He sat down at a set of tables with Clay and a little boy who introduced himself as Andre while Carol and the girls met up with Caesar and Paul. He pulled his phone out and looked for the stories he'd downloaded for Clay to kill these hours with.

"What's going on?" Carol looked from face to face before landing on Caesar's for an explanation, considering he was the only one cowering away.

"It's an after school program to help keep kids off the street," Paul offered. "Sponsored by Caesar's dad. We have swimming classes, bowling, tennis and soccer out back, racket ball, and event rooms downstairs that work as tutoring rooms, and the basket ball court three days of the week is used for dance. It's mostly for the younger kids, but they do need people to watch other them. We get paid in free drinks, pizza and a killer recommendation letter for college, not to mention how good and fun it can be."

"And it's okay for Clay to be here?"

"Totally. Andre's here." Michonne pointed to where Daryl was being pestered by the kid.

"Awesome." She smiled. "I can totally babysit to help boost my college resume. I really need it."

"Great." Paul beamed. "And if you want to join our lessons, don't be shy. Michonne and I lead all the time."

"I'm good with just watching." She laughed nervously and joined Amy by the railing.

"Okay, so who wants to make her not okay with watching?" Andrea crossed her arms. "I brought Amy, so that's my part."

"I trust in Paul to make this decision." Michonne grasped her girlfriend's arm. "We have group A. Let's go." She guided her away before Paul could argue.

Paul groaned softly. "Okay..." He turned to Caesar. "So, do you—?"

"What? Dance?" He chuckled. "I do sometimes, and if it helps Carol then yes, I do."

"And you won't argue with me?"

"Why would I?" His brows furrowed. "Carol's a good friend, and I don't want her bogged down by the after effects of having a baby. She needs this, and frankly...I could use something to do besides work."

"That's kind of you."

"I'm a kind guy."

"I'm noticing." Paul ran his eyes over him and stepped back. "Go get her, tiger."

"Ha ha," Caesar bitterly remarked and started to leave, calling back once. "It's koala, actually. They're my spirit animal."

"We'll see."

Carol was interrupted in her conversation with Amy by Caesar who grasped her hands and pulling her forward around the railing, Amy followed until Paul called her over to his group, and Carol tripped onto the court. She nearly smacked into Caesar's chest, but he caught her balance, and she was reminded once more he was jacked as shit due to football. She blushed slightly at the feel of his muscles underneath her fingertips, solid and warm, and she was reminded of a time she felt another set of muscles hard and solid and warm against her.

"Okay, so there's this competition for us older kids," Caesar explained, "and I'd like to win, but I need a partner. Everyone is paired up, so...please will you be my partner?"

"What do I have to do?" She could feel a quick no on the tip of her tongue, but things weren't going to change for her if she didn't try new things. It wasn't like he was going to ask her to dance in front of all these people or something.

"Dance with me."

She paled. "What?"

"No, don't freak out. It's simple. It's a dance my...a friend...a person I used to know and my dad used to do all the time. It's fun, too. You'll love it."

"I don't know about this."

"C'mon, just try it with me. I can snag an event room for just us to practice in, and we can work on it at my place. It'll be fun."

"But my job—"

"Doesn't start until six every day, so we have two hours after school to play with." He grasped her hands gently and caught her gaze with big, puppy eyes. "Please, Carol, I'd really like to enter and try to win. It'd be fun."

"I don't know..."

"C'mon, you trust me, right? We'd knock 'em all away. I have the charm, and you have the beauty. We'll win for sure. Do you know how good it'll feel to win?" He slowly grinned. "C'mon, you know you want to win."

"I've never really won anything before..." she murmured to herself.

"Then do it with me, please. C'mon, just you and me."

She caught herself returning his wide grin and nodded. "Okay, but private practices!"

"Deal." He hugged her. "I'm so glad you said yes."

She laughed at his bubbly, excited energy and leaned into the warmth of his embrace. "I'm glad you're the one who asked."

He set a hand on the back of her hair and tried to pour as much of his authentic happiness and good mood into her as he could. "We'll do great. I promise." He let her go and took her wrist. "Let's go start now."

"Right now? But I thought—"

"Yes, now. We only have a couple days."

"Days?" Carol gaped. "What? How could you rope me into this with only days?"

He laughed. "You're wasting time."

"You're so lucky I love you, dude."

He only beamed at her. "I love you, too, Carol. That's why I'm doing this." The last part he whispered to himself as he guided her into the event room and closed the door. "I have the music all ready, and I can break down the steps."

Carol unzipped her jacket and set it on the table by the door, leaving her in shorts and a loose camisole. "Just don't try any lifts. This isn't Dirty Dancing."

He smirked. "Please, you're too white, and I'm too...not white."

"I'm too white for lifts?" she scoffed a laugh. "Thanks a lot."

"You know what I mean." He rolled his sleeves up. "While you have good hips and a great frame, I doubt we'll be knocking boots in my summer house."

"Wait, what?" Scarlet spread across her face, and she covered her cheeks, shaking her head. "My what?"

"What, I haven't got eyes?" He smirked. "You're still hot, Carol. Plus you have a cute round belly now thanks to the baby."

"Wha—how did we get onto this subject?" She turned away from him. "Oh, my God. I am _not_."

"If you weren't like family, I'd consider the summer house part."

"Okay, okay. So, um, like do you have a summer house?" Carol put her hands on her hips, forcing the subject to change and her face to return to its normal color. She wasn't having much luck. God, it was hot in here. "You probably do."

"My dad does." He approached her. "I like to stay home for the summers. Dad travels to visit family and their businesses and exchange tips and—Ooh, you're good. You got me side tracked from this dance and your bod."

"I had to try." She puffed up her cheeks and exhaled. "Let's do this, but no more talk about my...bod. It's awkward."

"All right, I can agree to that. No funny business, but...just trust me, all right?"

"I do."

"Fully trust me. It's...an up close and personal dance, and I need more than just the music to flow. We have to move as one for this to work well enough for us to win, and it can be hard."

"I trust you as much as I trust Andrea and Michonne." She lowered her arms. "And I'm okay with touching and closeness. Well, light touching and closeness. I still... Well, I mean I'm... It's just a little...complicated."

"You're like a kid sister to me. Trust me, it'll be light and professional." He inhaled. "Is it okay if I grab your hips?"

"Yes. Can I grab yours?" she playfully smirked at him.

"You can pinch and poke them if you want." He reached out and catch her hips, and she instantly jolted forward. "First thing first—plant your feet."

"No kidding." She hadn't expected such a jolting grasp. Damn, his hands were really holding her. Was this a dance or a lifeline? His hands were warm, too. It felt nice to be held. Oh, no, she wasn't...

"Are you okay with me doing this?" He saw a surprised and somewhat uneasy look across her face.

"Yeah, just caught me by surprise." She cleared her throat. "Let's start with my balance."

"You got it."

––

Carol rolled into work fifteen minutes early with a dusting of bruises on her sore feet. She was greeted by Mary and taken to the office. She was given a locker for her belongings and a work shirt with the company logo on it as well as a dress code reminder. She had forgotten to bring a pair of black shorts, not jean shorts, and Mary said it was okay now and then, and she wouldn't get on her for it. The big boss was out of town for a few weeks, so they could lax up on dress code, but not too lax. Carol was happy to hear it, because she didn't want this to cost her on the very first day.

"Okay, today is your first day, so it's you and ten hours of training videos and tests. We'll stretch this out for a couple days since you're a minor, and we have to be sure you know all the rules and such." Mary opened a door to where another set of a lockers were, a first aid cabinet and a desk with a cushioned chair and computer. "You're all set up. I had Mil com by to be sure it was all ready, and it is. Just click on the first one a go. Since you'll be in here, you don't have to worry about your break times, and if you have any questions, I'll be in the back doing inventory."

"Thanks." She smiled.

"Oh, and your sign in is on your badge." She pulled it out of her pocket. "Use it to login for your training and to clock out tonight, okay?"

"Oh, okay." She accepted it and Mary left. She turned back to the next six hours of her night and sat down, placing her items on the empty space by the desk and login using the username on the back of her badge. She was instantly pushed through to set up a new password and felt this was going to be a very dull evening. At least her feet could recover from Caesar's abuse. He did not take lightly to her mistakes. He was such a bossy guy, a total perfectionist. She hadn't seen this side of him before, but he was still light and playful, just with this...strict ass edge. It'd be hot if she was into that sort of thing, but nope. It was just like work without getting paid. At least she got some pizza before they left.

God, she hoped she wasn't into it. When he held her...his hands were so warm and firm, and it felt so good to be held like that. She didn't feel warm and fuzzy around him like she used to, but maybe her crushes had matured, too. God, no, no. She could not have feelings for him. He was her best friend and the best friend of her son's father. If they were to ever get together, it would crush Daryl. He hated it when they went out as friends, and now it'd be like a slap in the face. He'd never forgive them. She'd never forgive them. It had to be something with her right now. She didn't know what, but it was her, not Caesar. She'd work it out. She had to.

She didn't make it through even a third of the training with how slow the computer was moving by the time her shift was over, so she'd have another day or two of this to look forward to. She clocked out and was met by her mom. The drive home was nice and filled with conversation about her first day. Carol was glad to be out of the house, and Karen could see a change in her. It was small, like a candle's flame flickering on the wind, and she hoped to see the wind vanish so it could flourish into a beautiful fire.

"We're home!"

"Shh!" Lori and Axel both hissed at the duo, pointing to the sleeping baby.

"You wake him up, and I will kill you." Lori grabbed the letter opener from the table with heavy bags under her eyes. "Kill you."

"Okay." Karen took the letter opener and wrapped an arm around Lori, lowering her voice. "Long night?"

"He...would not stop crying." Axel dragged a hand through his hair. "I think he knew Carol wasn't going to be home for a while, and he was just...upset after Daryl dropped him off. He was good for half an hour then...all hell broke loose. He wouldn't accept anything that comforts him, and I had to call Daryl to come back."

"I'm so sorry." Carol set her purse on the coffee table and sat beside the bassinet. "I didn't know he'd behave like that."

"It's okay. He has to adjust. He's like this when you're at school, but Gramp's got that handled. This was new, but I'll get a grip on it. If I don't, I think Lori will kill me."

"I will." Lori buried her face in her mom's jacket. "You smell like sugar and cologne."

Karen chuckled. "You need to get some sleep. C'mon, I'll tuck you in."

"I'm sixteen, but at this point I don't know if I can get upstairs." She yawned. "Let's go. Braid my hair and read me a story."

She laughed and kissed her forehead. "Sure thing. Good night, guys."

"Night." Axel bent down beside Carol. "I'll stay up here with him. You go sleep with your mom."

"Why mom? I have a bed."

"Yeah, Daryl kinda never went home." He glanced back at the basement door. "I... know you two are close and have this baby, but I'm not comfortable with you two sharing a bed. Married or dating or whatever, I'm just not."

"I get it, Dad, but nothing's gonna happen." Besides she might have feelings for his best friend. What in the complicated, teen drama hell was happening right now? She didn't know, but she fucking hated it. God, let it pass. Let it be some weird after baby affection carving thing or something. Anything but real feelings.

"Carol, please, just go sleep with Karen."

"Dad, I have a couch." She straightened. "And that's probably where Daryl is, so don't worry. I'll see you in the morning. I love you. Thank you."

"If you loved me, you'd stay with your mom."

"I don't like sugar and cologne, so good night." She kissed his cheek and headed downstairs, finding Daryl passed out on her couch with his jacket over him. She didn't even want to question why he was down here and Clay upstairs, but it was likely he passed out and didn't hear his cries, so Dad brought their son upstairs to keep from waking Daryl. She removed his jacket and tossed a blanket over him, and he moaned softly, kicking his foot a bit and muttering softly.

"Good night." She moved towards the dresser, unbuttoning her pants. She glanced back once before she stepped out of them and set them in the hamper. Her shirt followed, her bra was folded and place inside a drawer, and she slipped into her nightclothes, wasting no time in climbing into bed and to get to sleep.

"Nice panties..."

She shot up. "You weren't asleep?!" she hissed softly, not wanting her dad to hear.

He smacked his lips and moaned. "Woke me when you took my jacket—again. You got a fondness for it."

"Shut up."

"Make me." He rolled over.

"Good. Night." She paused. "And thanks. They're lace."

He sat up now. "Why? Just why?"

She giggled softly and didn't say anything, he pursed his lips and gave his head a shake before lying back down, and they both sighed softly before blacking out.

– – –

"You need to loosen up."

"Well, according to some people, I'm pretty loose already, so—"

"Carol."

"Just a joke."

"At your own expense. Those fucking suck."

"I was trying to lighten the moo—"

"Not at your expense. It does nothing."

Carol was over at Caesar's house for their two hour session before her first day at work that didn't involve that damned computer, Daryl was at the center, and Clay was with Dad. Carol could see something was bugging Caesar, as he didn't linger at the center and immediately brought them here. He was in a foul mood, but he wasn't taking it out on her. He was internalizing it, and she hated to see him like this. The conflict, the...torment, it broke her heart. She didn't know what had happened, but she wanted to fix it, if she could.

"Let's go again."

"No." She put her hands on her hips and shook her head.

"Why not? It's only been twenty minutes. We need to practice if we're going to get anywhere."

"No, you need to talk to me. What happened to you today? You look upset. Why?"

"You're making cruel and harmful jokes of yourself."

"That's not it."

"Partly it."

"Caesar, talk to me."

"You talk to me."

"About what?"

"I don't know. What's eating you."

He huffed. "It's not important."

"Clearly, it is." She searched his eyes and dropped them after a full minute, crossing her arms protectively over her stomach. "Fine, I'll start, but don't say I didn't warn you. I...feel like an asshole for leaving my son with my dad. I feel fat and awkward. I feel like I'm keeping Daryl from enjoying anything good in his life. And I feel...lost and confused about who I am as a person now. I know I am a daughter, a sister, a friend, a mom, but...what am I at my core? Who am I?" Her brows knitted together as tears gathered in her eyes. "I used to be so sure..."

"Carol..." He stepped forward. "You're nothing bad. A little awkward, but nothing bad."

"I want to keep him all to myself," she shuddered, "but I don't want him at the same time. I can't, and now to add to it..."

"What?"

She stammered and knocked a fisted hand into her palm nervously and chuckled painfully. "I...think I have another...um, small...like super tiny...little baby...crush—on you." She pointed to him and winced.

"Oh..." He dropped his eyes to the carpet.

"But also for him, too. I think. I mean, I don't know! It's...like a thousand thoughts buzzing in my chest, and I don't know what's real and what's temporary. I mean...is it you? Or just the attention you give me for this dance? Am I so starved for it that I'm fabricating feelings for you to justify wanting the attention in the first place? I mean—mmm!"

She was cut off by his mouth crushing against her, her entire body went limp at his hands on her cheeks, and her body shook from the utter shock of this action. What the hell was he doing? She wanted to actually speak that, but she couldn't move. She was rooted where she stood, and...damn. His lips were soft, like they had been on Halloween, only they moved now. He tasted like sweetness and laughter, if that was possible. She felt it spilling into her as she stepped closer to him, her eyes shutting, her body leaning into the kiss and mouth returning it.

He tilted his head to the side, pulling her even closer so that her body was directly against his, parting her lips with his tongue gently, and she gripped his shoulders tightly. She was...warmth and smooth. He could see why Daryl had such a hard time getting over her. This was just a kiss, and it wasn't...anything. There was nothing. It was nice, definitely, but nothing more.

He pulled away from her and removed his hands from her face. "Solve anything?"

She blinked and stepped back from him, still pointing. "You—you just tongued me."

"Yeah, I do that." He wiped his thumb across his lip. "My bad. I just meant a brief kiss to prove there's nothing here but friendship. I miss kissing. I haven't kissed anyone in a long time."

"Well, it doesn't show." She smiled softly. "God, if I met _you_ first."

"Thanks." He laughed and crossed his arms. "But you didn't, so?"

She nodded. "So I'm worried he knows that I do want him, and he doesn't feel the same way, but teases me to keep our relationship stable for our son." She hugged herself tighter. "I'm not even sure I want him because I care about him or because I feel like I should be with the father of my child, for justification, you know? Sex with a total stranger... God, it seems to be the latter, right? How can I not be bad?"

"You're confused is all."

"But I want..." She lifted her head when she spoke and sighed when she trailed off. "I don't know."

"Tell me."

"I want clarity on this whole situation and on myself. I've lost who I thought I was the moment Daryl and I kissed, and I can't figure out who I am now. I don't like being like this, so...fucking cowardly and needy. I want to be able to stand on my own damn two feet and be who I need to be to get things done, but I don't know how. I want to be able to look at Daryl and see a friend and nothing more, but all I see are blurred lines and regret and... it hurts."

"Why does it hurt?"

"Because he's gonna suffer more from this than me. Yes, I'm the mother, and I missed school and have Clay with me all the time, but he... He's missed work. I know he has, don't lie to me, and I know he isn't sleeping well. His grades must be slipping, and he's under a lot of pressure. And he's all alone when he's not over at my house. I feel so guilty, because did I do this? Force him to leave home? Force him to grow up too soon? Maybe he wasn't ready. I know I'm not, but I'm trying. Maybe he's trying, too, but he just can't get there like I can't get there. Or worse—he can, and I'm the only one floundering, but that's selfish." She closed her eyes and dug the heels of her hands into the shut lids. "Aaaggh!"

"You have a lot on your mind." He sat down on the floor. "Me, too."

"I just want to be a level-headed fucking adult who makes good decisions and is sure of those decisions!" She ripped her hands away and huffed. "And I want things to be crystal clear with Daryl. Why is that so much?"

"Because you're sixteen, and nothing is crystal clear at sixteen. Or even at seventeen, let me tell you."

"Tell me." She dropped beside him.

"Well...first of all, I feel like a jackass right now, and I can't begin to tell you why. It's a huge ass mess, and I can't deal."

"Caesar—"

"I can't. I just can't." He looked at her. "I love you and trust you, but it's... fucked up. I'm fucked up."

"You're so not. You're the sweetest person I've ever met, and I couldn't ask for a better friend." She smiled encouragingly at him. "You're awesome, dude. I promise. You kissed me to help me clear my head, and it wasn't all forced and weird and macho. Let me...do the same, only with words, because...well, you know. You were there."

He chuckled weakly, a wheeze of a sound in his throat. "Carol, I...like Paul. Like really like him and want him. I don't know how to handle it, so I keep being an asshole to him."

She blinked. "What?"

"Yeah, Paul Rovia. The new kid. I...have a massive crush on him, and I have since he came to our school, but...I don't know how guys do...that. Hell, I could barely figure it out with my last girlfriend. That's why she broke up with me. I don't know how to do relationships, so if I can't do a relationship, how can I possibly be with him?" He dropped back onto the floor and groaned. "God, it's so complicated. When did it get so complicated?"

"I don't know. I guess it's a...thing that's in season." She looked back at him. "Paul's cute."

"God, he's downright sexy sometimes." He met her gaze. "How can anyone our age look like that? Shit."

" _You_ look like that."

"No, I do not."

"Oh, please, you so do. You're hot, and he's hot, you'd both light the school on fire with such hotness." And rumors, but fuck 'em. "I'll hold a fire extinguisher for you."

Another wheezy chuckle, and he ran a hand through his hair. "I can't even have a straight conversation with him. I curtail it or say something rude and walk off. I...just want to be myself around him, but I don't know who that is that he might like. I know I shouldn't base this off of what side of me he might like, but I don't know what to do. I mean, my last girlfriend asked _me_ out, so I got nothin'."

She chuckled. "We're kinda in the same boat."

"At least Daryl wants you."

"He wanted me," she corrected, "back in June. Now he wants to be a good dad and get into a good college. He wants to be a good man. He doesn't want a relationship. Or me. And that's not me tearing myself down. That's me knowing him. And besides even if he did want me... I don't know if I want him like that. I might ruin him."

"How could you possibly ruin him?"

"I don't know, but I'm so scared I somehow will." She picked at her sneakers. "I have a baby, and I can't afford to be in a relationship. I have three major focuses: my son, my job and school. I can't add a forth."

"You need to figure yourself out first." He studied her. "You're a gentle person, very giving, very protective. You're the best friend I think I've ever had, and you're...a rare soul, truly. You need to piece together what you mean to yourself before you try to move forward with what you might mean to Daryl or to someone else."

"And you?" She pulled her legs to her chest and hugged them. "You know yourself better than most teenagers, so you know you and Paul could work. You need to figure out why you haven't made a move. You're confident, so what's the hold up? The relationship hitch? You'll figure that out together, not alone."

"See, you're smart." He smiled at her. "But no promises."

"Same." She returned his smile. "And don't kiss me again, please. I...think I want to save those for someone else."

"Same, but I have a question. How are your lips so soft? Seriously, it's like a pillow."

She laughed. "How do you do that thing with your tongue?"

"A lot of practice, but it's nice, right?"

"Very nice. I might have to steal it."

"Someone should. I haven't kissed anyone in over a year. Well, you know what I mean."

"That I do..." She nodded.

"What's this?" Amaro looked in on them. "This isn't practice. This is...resting."

"It's a heart to heart." Caesar stood up. "We're about to start again now."

"This thing is on Monday, right? Let's shake a leg." He helped Carol stand up. "Here, let me show you how it's done. Start the music."

Caesar shook his head. "All right, Dad, but please, please don't embarrass yourself."

"Well, I had you, so it's too late."

His jaw dropped, and Carol blinked.

"I'm joking, but I'm worried you think I'm serious." He grasped his shoulders. "You know I love you and am proud of you."

"No, I know you were joking, but damn, Dad, why you gotta burn me like that?" He smirked. "Jesus."

Carol arched a brow at him, and he cut her a sharp look to can that expression, which was rattled away by his father shaking him.

"Play the music and watch your mouth."

"Yes, sir."

– – –

"Carol!"

Carol stopped in the hallway with Andrea to see who was calling to her, it was Milton, and she agreed to meet Andrea at the community center after school. She smiled at him, happy to see him after such a hectic day at work. She was delighted to learn that "Mil" was a nickname for Milton. They worked the same shift, and he was a big help in training her. It was easy, but it was mostly learning where everything was. She was glad he was so patient and willing to help her. She was getting a hang of where things were in the store. She just had to work on using the old ass computer system of theirs. Mary said it would come easier as she used it, but she was sure if she looked at it too hard, it'd break.

"I need to talk to you."

"What's up? Do you need to switch shifts again? I can't do next Tuesday, because I have a thing after school, but any other day is cool."

"No. It's nothing about work."

"Oh." She didn't think they'd ever talked about anything other than work. He hardly even acknowledged that she was working to pay for her son's needs, and if she brought him up, Milton would grow quiet and change the subject. She didn't know what else there was to talk about if he wasn't comfortable talking about something so important to her. "Then what is it?"

"Where's Daryl?" He scanned the hall.

"I dunno. I think he changed his last class of the day to that work study class, where you leave school to work and get a credit for it based off your attendance and such. We need the spare cash." They were trying to help Mom and Dad with their bills, and since Carol didn't get paid for another two weeks, she asked Daryl for a loan. She didn't know he'd do this to try and loan her the money. Had she even suspected, she wouldn't have asked, but he was okay with it, even if she wasn't.

"Yeah, I'm sure that's what he told you."

"What he told me?" She turned to face him. "You don't like Daryl, do you?"

"No, I don't. He's a bully and a lair."

"He's not either of those things. I know him well, and... Okay, he can be a bully, but it isn't who he is. He's grown passed that."

"To you, no, he's not. But you don't know him like I do."

"Look, I don't feel comfortable talking about Daryl with you, so I'm going to leave this conversation. I'll see you at work."

"He's seeing Paula."

That stopped her cold in her tracks, and she gripped her binder tightly before turning halfway to face him. "What are you talking about?"

"Yeah, I saw them on my lunch break a couple days ago. I thought you should know."

"He's—he's not seeing anybody, least of all Paula." She stood her ground. "I know him, and that's just not true."

"I have proof."

"What, did you take a picture?"

"Yeah, actually."

She frowned. "Why?"

"It wasn't—I was trying to get a shot for the school newspaper. The Lovely Bean is having a latte sale in a few days, and I was assigned to get a shot, because I work so close, but anyway, they were in the shot." He pulled it out of his binder. "Lookin' pretty cozy if you ask me."

There they were in full color, Paula leaning over the table, face blocked by the cursive lettering of The Lovely Bean, and Daryl was...holding her hand on the table. It wasn't blurry at all. It was a perfectly great shot in high resolution, so there was no...hiding that fact. They were at a romantic coffee shop, holding hands and Daryl never told her about it.

"So." She swallowed. "He's a free guy. He can date whoever he wants."

"So?" He looked at her like she was crazy, lips parted in a growing frown, brows knit, eyes narrowing at her with confusion. "This girl has made your life hell, and you're down with the father of your kid dating her?"

"It doesn't matter if I'm "down" with it or not, we're not together, so it's his business." She shrugged. "I have to go now, but thanks for telling me, I guess."

"Tsk. He really can do no wrong in your eyes, can he?"

"It doesn't matter how I feel about Paula, Milton. Daryl can date or fuck or whatever with whoever he wants." She was raising her voice unintentionally, and a few people started to watch her. "He isn't my boyfriend or anything. We just have one thing in common, and that's it, so keep your nose out of his business. I appreciate what you're trying to do, but it's not necessary. If he wants to be with her then so be it!"

"You could have someone who actually cares about you, but you'd rather let him walk over all over you and ditch you once he's gotten what he wanted."

Red flashed across her cheeks in anger, and she set her jaw. "Milton, I don't need you to tell me how to handle my relationships. I don't want a boyfriend right now. I have a four month old who needs me, and I have to focus now on my new job and continue with my education. Do not tell me how I should feel about a photo of Daryl and his fuck buddy. It is what it is. Okay?"

"What fuck buddy?" Daryl approached the two. "I have a fuck buddy? Why didn't anybody tell me?"

"Oh, you're disgusting." Carol turned her venom on him. "And I am done with both of you."

"Whoa, what the hell did I do?" He didn't let her storm off.

"You know exactly what you did. Now please let me through. I have to meet my friends."

He could see there was no point in trapping her there, so he moved aside and let her handle this her way. He turned a sharp glare on Milton, who was watching Carol retreat, and he was tempted to punch him right in the jaw, but he refrained. For now.

"What did you do?" he demanded at his classmate. "Why do you insist on hurting her? For fuck's sake, she's just starting to get back on her feet." He was growling, and Milton stepped back.

"You're the one who hurt her. I just presented the facts." He swallowed and thrust the picture towards Daryl.

"What the fuck? You're stalking me now?" He didn't bother to look at it, just smacked it out of his hand and let it fall to the floor.

"I'm on the school newspaper, and I was assigned to take a photo of the coffee shop with directions for a sale. It was an unlucky coincidence that you were there, too, with Paula."

"Yeah, we happened to be there at the same time, so what? It's my damn business."

"But that business rarely mixes with Paula."

"Tsk, the hell is it your concern?"

"It's not. It's Carol's problem now. She's probably crying, you know. I bet she's starting to hate you. She should hate you." He was glowering.

"Yes, she should," Daryl agreed, turning to the people who were still listening in. "Yeah, I seduced her at that party and got her pregnant. I'm the villain. There's the story. Now mind your own goddamn business!" He cut a look back at Milton before heading out of the building in the same direction as Carol. He picked up his pace when the students in front of him thinned out, and he found Carol sitting on the hood of his truck. He stopped in his tracks and caught his breath.

She didn't bother to look at him and moistened her lips. "I'm sorry. That was uncalled for."

"Oh, it was totally called for. Nosy fucks, right?"

Her head snapped up to find Paula standing there, hands in her pocket, head tilted to the side. "What do you want now? Haven't you won yet?"

A dry smile. "There's no winning for me, princess."

"You bitch." Carol moved to jump off the hood of the car when suddenly she was wrapped up in Daryl's arms as he caught her and pulled her back from hitting Paula. "Let me go. She has it coming! No winning?! Are you serious right now? You always win! Always!"

"I didn't win in February." She kicked a nearby rock with the tip of her boot.

"Paula, you don't have to—" Daryl started.

"No, it's okay." She smiled at him kindly. "I'm okay."

"Get off!" Carol struggled. "You can sleep around with her all you want, just don't touch me."

"We're not sleeping together. We never have, and we won't." Paula inhaled. "I need to talk to you."

"I don't want to hear your lies, and I don't want you touching me." She shoved free of Daryl and huffed. "I'm going home."

"Carol, please." Paula reached out and caught her arm. "Let me explain. You have no reason to be angry."

"I have _every_ reason." She jerked her arm back. "I am so done with secrets and lies. I can't trust anybody anymore. God, only Caesar! Everyone is hiding something from me. Mom, Dad, Lori, Andrea, Michonne, you! I can't take it. I know it's not all the same secret, but I don't care anymore. I need honesty in my life right now. I need simplicity. I don't need people going behind my back and then telling me how I should feel about it. I am not a child. You can't manipulate me like this!"

"Carol, please." Daryl reached out for her, but didn't touch her. He wanted her permission, and for a moment her angry wavered, but she just couldn't do this right now.

"No." She looked over to find Shane and Rick, and she went to ask them for a ride home.

Daryl let his hand drop and ball into a fist before relaxing it as Rick and Shane drove off with Carol, and Paula apologized.

"I shouldn't have dragged you into this."

"Doesn't matter. It happened. It's out there. I just need...her to listen to me."

"To me, Daryl." She stepped forward. "She needs to her the whole story from me. It is mine to tell right? There's no us, is there?"

He heaved a sigh. "I don't trust you with her."

She sucked air in through her teeth. "Well, shucks, guess I earned that, though."

"There's nothin' to guess about. I gotta go. I need to drop her binder off at home." He pulled it off the hood of his truck. "Give her space. All I ask."

"Home, huh? She's home now?"

He didn't answer.

"And we'll see if I give her space or not," she called to him, slipping back into the crowd of car riders and swallowing around the lump in her throat.

– – –

"So, you okay?" Rick looked back at Carol in the rear view mirror.

"I will be. Thanks for taking me home. I really appreciate it." She hugged her arms. "Where's Lori?"

"At the community center."

"Oh, crap." She'd forgotten she was supposed to meet them there! She was so upset with Daryl and Paula. Ugh, nobody was home to take her there either. Dad had taken Clay to see Grandma, and Mom had a meeting after school. Damn it. She'd have to call Caesar to ask him if he'd come and pick her up.

"You were supposed to be there, too?" he guessed.

"Yeah, I forgot."

"It's fine. I can drop you off. I have to pick up a few books at the library anyway, and it's only five minutes away."

"Thank you, Rick." She smiled at him.

"You're a friend, so it's no big deal. Plus, you have to deal with Shane, so it's fair."

"Hey." Shane glared at him. "I'm not a pain."

"No, you're a partier. I can smell the pot on you right now."

"That's from my jacket. I was at Tobin's last weekend, and the smell sticks. I need to wash it." He tossed it into the backseat and peeked back at Carol. "You should worry less. Come to my place this weekend. We're having a birthday party for my cousin."

"A birthday party?" She sat up some. "Who's your cousin?"

"He doesn't have a cousin. It's just an excuse to have a party." Rick informed her, "Tobin's parents are in until the summer, so they're moving it to Shane's since his parents have a date night that keeps them out most of the night."

"So it's just a party? With booze and drugs?"

"It's not like it's hardcore. It's just some gummies and brownies. You like brownies, right? Plus, it's just those fruity drinks like Jack Daniels and Smirnoff. Nothing hardcore. I promise."

"I'm good." She averted her eyes out the window.

"Just try some before you judge. They're in my jacket pocket. They'll change your entire mood."

"Dude, don't offer her gummies." Rick smacked him. "She literally has a baby."

"It ain't gonna hurt the little dude. It might make him hungry, though." He snickered. "Baby munchies."

"Did you eat those in last period?"

"Just like two."

"Oh, my God." Rick sighed. "This is why my dad doesn't like you."

"He doesn't like fun," Shane corrected. "And if you don't take too many of 'em, it's all good."

Rick chuckled. "If you say so."

They dropped Carol off at the community center, Carol told them to be safe and Rick assured he would save his "fun" for the weekend. She headed inside and instantly smacked into Caesar, who caught her elbows and hugged her tightly. She knew he had heard about the fight in the hall and the parking lot. He was super popular, so he would know first. At least he was consoling about it. She needed a hug. She needed to take her mind off of...well, everything.

"Are you okay? Do I need to kick someone's ass?"

"No."

"No to both? Or...?"

"I'll be fine." She pulled out a smile. "Shane and Rick cheered me up."

"Shane." He narrowed his eyes. "Did he give you candy?"

"He offered."

"Don't take it. Seriously. It's strong as shit, and it can make you uncomfortably high. Trust me, all highs are not good highs. Once it's uncomfortable, you just... no, it's awful."

"You've been high before? You, Caesar Martinez? Golden Boy?"

"You weren't the only one drinking at Tobin's." He ran a hand through his hair. "Look, don't do as I do. Do as you are."

"What?" She laughed. "Is that something a fortune cookie told you?"

"No, my dad. He thinks it alleviates the pressure of me taking over the family business, but it really doesn't. He means well, but we'll see."

"Do you even want to take over the family business?"

"I'm good at it."

"That's not what I asked."

"For now all I know is that I'm good at it." He released his single arm hold on her. "You good to do this today?"

"Yes." She inhaled. "I need the distraction."

"All right."

They met up with their friends, Lori and Andrea and Michonne hugged her too, and she laughed it off. She assured them she was okay, and Caesar wondered how she could be so calm about this. He was tempted to tongue check her for the neon colors of Shane's candies, but that was invasive. He might have to risk it for her own good. Drugs were no solution. Even the good ones.

Caesar was impressed with Carol's focus at practice. She moved so fluidly with him, practicing the steps without him as best she could when he'd take a water break. She wasn't letting up on getting it down to an art. He watched her from the floor, drinking water as she moved. She was so intense, sweat on her brow as she flowed, and he felt drawn in. He couldn't take his eyes off of her. She moved like a drop of ink in water, and he could watch her forever. The intensity in her eyes, the inky black pupils pulsing around the sapphire blue, which seemed to glow. She moved with grace and purpose, as if nothing else mattered and soon he was behind her, encircling her waist, falling into step.

He spun her around, her eyes landed in his, and for a moment he wasn't sure she even saw him. He followed her lead this time, and her eyes never left his for very long as they moved together. The world fell away, and it was just this blackness, the music seemed to strike silver into that darkness, their feet lighting the dark with rapid movement. A harmony, a consensus, a unity. It was just as he remembered it.

Carol fell against him when the music stopped, panting and losing her balance, and Caesar stumbled to catch her, his mind taking over his body. He could only soften the blow as they fell, Carol landed on top of him, her upper body lying across his torso, and he stared at the ceiling, a sickening feeling sinking in his heart.

"Whoa." Michonne looked in on the panting, sweaty mess of Carol and Caesar. "Here. Drink."

Carol accepted the bottle of water and chugged it, Caesar splashed his on his face to snap him out of it, and Michonne decided that was enough for both of them. She helped Carol to a chair, who laughed off her legs being weak from not stopping, and Caesar didn't move at all. Michonne was worried about him, but she let him rest there if he needed it.

"Pizza's here, so I'll bring you a few slices."

"Cheese, please." Carol finished her water. "What time is it?"

"Nearly seven. Did you tell work you'd be late, or are you off?"

"I'm off today." She moistened her dry, sticky lips. "No wonder I'm so hungry and tired."

"Yeah, you guys need someone else in here to remind you of breaks. I'll be right back." She left to fetch some pizza for the pair.

"How was I?" Carol asked Caesar.

"You killed it." He smiled at her proudly. "It...brought back some memories."

"What memories?" She leaned forward in her chair.

"Of...my mom." He cast his eyes back to the ceiling. "She...and my dad used to dance to this song all the time. I thought they were so in love, because they moved like one being. I thought...how truly lucky they must be to...be such a unit, but..."

"Caesar." Her heart broke at the sight of tears in his eyes.

"If friends can match that energy... I guess I was just blind." He laughed painfully. "And it was all a lie... She never loved...either of us."

"That's not true! Of course she loved you." Carol was on her feet. "How could she not? You're...you. Perfectly and—and wonderfully you. Everyone loves you."

"Not everyone," he whispered, blinking back the tears.

"All right, cheese and pepperoni." Michonne and Andrea announced as they entered the room with four plates and cans of soda. "We thought you could use some company."

"Good thinking." Caesar pulled out a wide grin. "Aah, food. Gimme."

Carol frowned at the mask he put on and accepted her food, Michonne sat down beside her, and Andrea and Caesar pulled over the table from the corner, sitting down in the chairs they moved. Michonne and Andrea filled in the conversation by speaking of the kids and how awesome they were, Carol couldn't taste her food as Caesar laughed and joked like nothing was wrong, like he wasn't hurting. She felt sick at the scene before her, but it was like a harsh mirror. She was acting like she wasn't hurting, either, so who was she to talk?

They helped clean up the pizza boxes and any left over cans, Paul and Michonne hung back to clean up the court, Andrea offered to drive Carol and Lori home, and Caesar was going to stick around for a swim. Andrea and Lori filled the drive back home with conversation while Carol dug through her purse for her phone. She wasn't sure if she left it in here or in Mom's car. She'd find out when she got home and dumped the whole thing out on her bed. She needed to talk to Caesar and to Daryl, but it was so difficult. She cared about them both so much, and she was hurting because of one of them while her heart ached for another. It didn't seem fair that someone so good and so sweet should be hurting, and it wasn't fair that Daryl didn't think he could tell her about whatever he and Paula did or were. Or are currently. It all just didn't seem...fair.

Carol headed downstairs for a shower, Lori called down to let her know Mom and Dad wouldn't be home tonight, and she thanked her before stepping into the shower. Mom was going to meet Dad and Clay, and Nan had roped Dad into staying so she could get in some more grand baby time. She wasn't surprised, a little worried and relieved, but not surprised. She needed a night without Clay. Just one night for her.

She changed into a long t-shirt and sat down on her bed, dumping out her purse to locate her phone, and she discovered her phone was not in there. She did leave it in Mom's car, but she supposed that was okay. She couldn't make a mistake this way. Well, a bigger mistake.

She unfolded her legs and tossed the items back into her purse, setting it on the floor save for the little plastic pouch of gummies Shane had offered her. There were four little baggies of them in his pocket, so she helped herself to one. There were only four gummies inside, so they couldn't do much damage, right?

She pulled out and set it in her palm, pursing her lips and thinking about what Shane said. She could use an entirely different mood and mindset right now. Tilting her head back and slapping her hand to her mouth, she engulfed the gummy and decided not to think too hard about why she was doing it.


	18. Bravery, The Word and The Actions

**_Disclaimer: I own nothing._**

– – –

Carol sat on the steps that led to the locker room at about five in the morning, Mom had gone in early to grade papers she'd forgotten, and Carol had decided to go in with her. Clay was out cold from his weekend trip with Nana, and so was Dad. Lori would catch a ride with him at seven, and Carol didn't want to be in the house anymore. She hardly spent any time there. She had to work the weekend, and she had to practice with Caesar for tonight. She was glad to have this thing be over. She loved to be around Caesar when it was fun, but lately...things were a mess with her head and heart, and him, too. It seemed they were cut from the same confusion cloth this past week.

"Hey, you."

She looked up and found Paula standing at the bottom of the steps. "Why are you here?"

"Tutoring sessions with the best teach ever start at five." She smiled weakly. "I'm trying to focus on grades here lately. I'd like to graduate this month."

She sighed softly. "Cool?"

"Look, we need to talk. I know you don't like me or trust me or believe anything I say, but this needs to be put out there." She climbed the stairs and sat beside Carol, adjusting her skirt underneath her. "You look so sad lately, like a downed dog. I bet Clay picks up on that. Does he cry?"

"What does my son have to do with anything?"

"A lot." She rested her hands in her lap. "How is he? Really, I'd like to know."

"He's four months old. He...is starting to get a sleeping schedule. He likes to sleep on his dad's chest. He drools. He screams. He is a handful that I don't think I'm raising properly." She slouched against the wall. "And I love him more than anything in the world. I'd die for him without a second thought."

She smiled. "You're a good mom. I don't need to see you two to know you're a good mom."

"Why are you being nice to me?" She didn't bother to look at Paula.

"Because this is me. Genuine me without any angles." She peeked at her. " I...I love Daryl, too, you know. That was never a lie."

She pushed off the wall and turned her body to face Paula, her back flush against the wall as she did so. "Okay? Good for you."

"I need you to understand my actions."

"Why? So you can go on and continue to do worse in college?"

"No, so I can make amends." She searched her eyes. "I love Daryl more than I've ever loved anybody. Saying I'm over him is a lie, because...how can I be over someone like him? He's broken and thoughtful and beautiful. He's the type of person I wish I could be. I'm just broken and bitchy. I destroy others to try and heal my own scars, not like him, not like you."

Carol swallowed and didn't speak, choosing instead to listen.

"I had a chance to be with him and to be happy, but like every good chance in life, I ruined it." She inhaled. "I slept with his brother. I couldn't tell you why. I didn't even like him or know him. I just did it as a sort of sick self-sabotage. Daryl wouldn't even speak to him when I saw him in his own kitchen. He just looked...disgusted and went back to his room."

"You and Merle? But he's...way older than us."

"Which is why he doesn't say why he won't date me. He knows it was consensual, but he's not okay with it. He'll never be okay with it. Merle knew he crossed a line, too. Neither one of them talks to me now, not really." She exhaled deeply. "Daryl only humors me now and then, like he did at The Lovely Bean."

"Yeah?" was all Carol could manage with the lump in her throat.

"See...when we were at the party in June, I...tried like crazy to get his attention, but all he saw was you. I knew it, Milton knew it, the whole school knew it. That's why I was so harsh to you from the start, because I saw him watching you like you were the only thing that mattered. Like how I watch him." She chuckled humorlessly. "How can you love someone you don't personally know is beyond me, but...I did. I do. I wish I didn't, because it hurts so much. He was never made to be mine, not even for a second, and I always knew that. Good things don't happen to people like me."

"Paula..."

"I need you to listen, okay? It's really important you know the whole story." She cleared her throat. "So...I made all the wrong choices with Daryl and even worse choices after the pregnancy rumor got around. I knew Daryl would be yours always after that, and I had finally lost. The game was over before it started, but I tried to keep in it. I tried to pretend that maybe...just maybe there was a chance, but there never was. I screwed up, and you were having his baby.

"So I gave in to the one person I never thought I would allow myself to be with." She rubbed at her eye. "I slept with Phillip Blake."

Carol's auto-instinct of utter repulsion towards Phillip triggered a groan of blatant disgust. "Phillip?"

"Yeah, right." She nodded in agreement at the sound. "How low could I stoop?"

Carol suddenly wondered why she was telling her about this encounter. "Wait, Paula, why are you—?"

"Because when I slept with Phillip, I got pregnant." She cut off Carol's question swiftly and tried to keep the tears at bay. "I don't know how. I'm always careful with birth control and condoms. I never drink and have sex, but I took a few pills...and I must have messed up with birth control, or the condom broke, or the world just...wanted to fuck me over as always. I don't know, but...I started having morning sickness a couple weeks later, and my period was late."

"Oh, my God, Paula. You're pregnant?" Carol gaped. "When did it happen?"

"January. There was a rave for the New Year, and I went. I got trashed and slept with Phillip. Yeah, I'm pretty sure he fucked me over a sink, too. Classic Paula, right?" She buried her face in her palms. "I just wanted to feel something...else. You were about to have Daryl's baby, and I couldn't let it go. If I had, this never would have happened..."

"Wait, that means you're five months along," Carol added it up. "Or nearly five months."

"Is that right?" She snuffled.

"I remember that mark. It's scary, but you'll be okay. I mean, your parents will flip out, but they'll... Okay, I don't know your parents, so I can't be sure of what to say here."

"Don't bother. There's no point in saying."

"Don't say that. You don't know how they'll react."

"There'll be no need for a reaction." She dropped her hands and red, swollen blue eyes met Carol's. "When you were giving birth to precious little Clay, I had an abortion. I...I actually had finished a check up with my doctor that night, and I saw Daryl wandering the halls like a zombie. I...I hoped I helped him. I meant to help him, but I don't know if I did the right thing or not."

"You...aborted the baby?"

"I'm eighteen with no job and strict parents and a bad reputation. I couldn't...bring a kid into that mess." She whimpered. "I told Phillip, and he texted me doctors who could help with the abortion, no questions asked. He told me to "get rid of the fucking thing" and hasn't spoken to me since."

"I don't know what to say."

"I spent the evening crying in a ball after I did it," her voice broke. "I'm not cut out to be a mom yet, and it had to happen. My parents would have killed me, and there's no way I could have gone through the whole pregnancy and adoption. There's no way."

"I'm so sorry." She pushed off the wall and hugged her. "I'm so, so sorry."

"No, I'm the one who's sorry." Paula gripped her arm that was wrapped around her shoulders. "When I saw you back at school, I wanted to encourage you, but all you did was remind me of everything bad that I let happen, and I took it out on you. I'm sorry. I'm sorry for all of it. You didn't deserve my wrath. You didn't deserve it ever, and if I ever made you feel like this then... then please..." She couldn't speak anymore, her tears were too heavy, her voice too thick, and Carol was hushing her in the softest tone.

– – –

" _I know I have no right to ask this," Paula stared into her piping hot Americano, unable to look at Daryl, "but I need to talk to Carol."_

" _No."_

" _Please, it's really nothing bad. I just...need to talk to her, like real people talk, not...bullying or belittling her. I want to make up for my past actions. She'd understand if I could just tell her. Maybe I could...get some closure."_

" _So, you unleash it all on her, just so you can feel better about yourself?"_

" _Yes, that's exactly right. It's all about me always." She glared at him now. "She's the only one who could understand."_

" _Understand what?"_

" _What I went through, what I'm going through. I need to talk to her and apologize and explain. It's important. It's why I wanted to talk to you. If anyone can get her to meet me, it's you."_

" _Why now? You've had years to do this before, so why start now? What do you get out of it?"_

" _Nothing that you'd care about."_

 _He scoffed. "If it's going to hurt Carol, there's not a chance in hell I'll bring her to you."_

" _Of course it'll hurt her. I've made her life hell for years. I just want to make amends for that."_

" _No." He stood up to leave._

" _Please," her voice broke, and it caught his attention. "I just need someone to talk to, and it has to be her."_

" _What's going on with you?" He lowered his voice but remained standing._

" _I had to abort Phillip's bastard child, and I can't really live with that decision, so I was hoping I could find something good in a conversation with Carol." She didn't bother to hide her emotions anymore. "Bastard or not, it was my child, too, and I can't get over the fact that I let my emotions and Phillip decide such a heavy course of action for me. I can't believe that I let this happen or that I went through with it or any of it, honestly."_

 _He fell back into his seat and instantly thought what if Carol had done that, made the solo decision to abort their son. His life without Clay... God, there was no life without Clay. How could there be? "Fuck." He knew how Phillip was. He'd caught the fucker pressuring a freshmen he'd slept with to abort that baby, too. She was in tears, and Phillip was relentless. Daryl stepped in, and the freshmen transferred out the the following week after missing four days. No one knew what had happened or why she suddenly transferred, but Daryl hoped it wasn't because she went through the abortion she clearly didn't want. Paula was strong, but he'd seen Carol throughout her pregnancy, it played with her. "Fuck, man."_

" _Yeah, fuck." She dragged a hand through her hair. "I can't even process this, but I'm trying. I'm trying to do better, to be better. I really am. I've made some mistakes, but let me fix them. Let me try to fix them so maybe they'll fix me, too."_

 _He reached over and grasped her hand when she started to bawl. "Hey, it's gonna be okay."_

" _No, it's not."_

––

Carol handed Paula a still warm washcloth, Paula pressed it against her eyelids, and Carol rubbed her back. They were in the locker rooms now, and Carol had borrow some of the school wash clothes Sasha had accidentally ordered instead of towels for the swim team. Paula evened her breathing and relaxed finally, and Carol was glad to see her shoulders loosen.

"I didn't mean to cry so much." Paula groaned. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay. I'd cry, too, if I ever had to make that decision."

She lowered the washcloth. "I just want to feel sane again, you know? Things were so much simpler before high school."

"I thought you always liked Daryl."

"Yeah, but it was easier before I started liking sex and wanting him in that way." She rubbed her eyelid. "Is he good? I imagine he's good."

Carol blushed and sputtered. "Why would I even tell you that?"

"Damn, he is good." She laughed. "Hmm. I'm glad I only have a few more weeks before I graduate. I need a clean slate."

"I think we all do." Carol set a hand on her shoulder. "You'll be okay. I know it."

"How?" She set the cloth beside her on the bench.

"My mom got pregnant around our age and lost the baby. I know she felt similar to how you feel, and she's happy. She's strong and happy and an awesome person."

"Karen lost a baby?"

She nodded. "Then she adopted me and Lori."

"I don't think I'm ready to adopt."

"I'm not suggesting that. I only meant she found a way to cope with an awful situation, and you will too. You'll find someone or something you love that this pain can't touch, and it'll get easier. You'll never forget, but it won't be such a rock on your chest, you know?"

She smiled faintly. "Thanks, Carol." She hugged her tightly. "I'm so glad I talked to you."

Carol chuckled once. "Yeah, actually me too."

"I have to meet Tyreese for our tutoring session, but thank you." She squeezed her once more and hopped up. "Take care of him, okay? Daryl's been through more than you know, and he'll need you to overcome that."

"What do you mean?"

"Just trust me on that. It's his business. His life, but be there for him."

"Of course."

She beamed. "Good. I'll...uh, see you around, and again I'm sorry for the last two years. I wish I could erase it, but I can't."

"It's not okay, and we're not friends, but it happened. It's a part of me, and it's a part of you too, and we'll deal."

"Kinda have too, right?"

"Right." Carol nodded.

Paula nodded back and headed out to meet Tyreese, Carol set the cloth in the sink and exhaled deeply, and she pulled out her phone to call her sister. She wanted to hear Clay's little sleepy noises. She needed a pick-me-up.

– – –

"Why are you cuttin' class, little brother?" Merle stood in the doorway to Daryl's apartment, using the key Daryl insisted on giving him, finding his little brother on the couch looking like a mess. "You drinking again?"

"No. I just had a rough... night. Tsk, rough day, rough night, rough fuckin' week."

"What's goin' on?"

"So much shit that I can't even handle it right now. I have to jump in the shower and get ready for class."

"It's goin' on three. Class is over."

"Aah, fuck." He was on his feet, running a hand through his hair. "Fuck. I need to get to the center."

"What's goin' on with you?" Merle closed the space between them and searched his eyes, studying his face for any clues as to what was afflicting him. "We may not see a lot of each other, but we're still family. You can talk to me."

He sighed and flopped back down onto the couch. "It's...Carol."

"What about her?" His face went blank then set with slight anger. "Is she pregnant again? Are you about to tell me that?"

"What? No! We haven't had sex since June. The most action I've seen is..." He didn't finish that sentence. "Look, it's...emotional shit, not physical."

"Judgin' by that cut off, you need some physical." Merle chuckled and sat down. "Just find someone like you used to. You need to let off some steam. It builds up. It'll crush ya."

"You told me to cut that shit out. Those exact words."

"Yeah, but it's been how many dry months now? It ain't healthy."

Daryl rolled his eyes. "I don't want some random chick, Merle."

"Then who do you want? Carol?" He snorted then saw Daryl avoid his eyes. "Aw, shit, Daryl, what's wrong with you?"

"I don't know, but it sucks." He dropped beside his brother. "It was easier before things got so mixed up with the baby. I love Clay, and I don't regret him, but...it's so complicated now. I just want..." Her, he thought. That soft skin under his lips, her pleasured moans at his ear, her body warm on his, and that tight muscles wrapped around his—

"You need to talk to her," Merle interrupted his thought in a serious tone. "Tell her how you feel."

"The fuck? No!" Daryl shook his head. "No. Absolutely not. She doesn't need this on top of everything else. I don't need it. It's...confusing."

"No, it's attraction. It's affection. It's real simple." He stood up and made for the door. He wanted to grab some steaks from Martinez's shop for dinner. They had a sale going, and he didn't want to miss it. Also there was something else he wanted to miss here. "It's less awkward than your tent."

He rolled his eyes and tried to ignore looking down, but he groaned and headed to the bathroom to shower. He had somewhere to be, and he needed to get cleaned up. Among other things...

– – –

Daryl walked into the worn community center, passing by the downstairs indoor pool and the bowling alley, climbing the stairs to the gym. He was sure there were other areas for other sport actives, but he hadn't been here since he was in middle school. They often came here as a reward for good behavior—as one could assume, he didn't come often.

He spotted Carol and Caesar across the gym, laughing, and he was happy to see Carol smiling. She had been struggling so much lately, and he was glad to see she could still smile and laugh. She was really beautiful when she smiled. He had missed...seeing her face light up and her hand move to cover her mouth, as her shoulder shook...

"Hey." Jesus stood beside Daryl suddenly, and Daryl inhaled and didn't greet him. "I'm still gonna be here, even if you ignore me."

"Hi." He said it flatly.

"You here for Carol?" He crossed his arms, watching the pair having fun and teasing each other.

"You here for Caesar?" Daryl retorted.

"No. I teach here." He smirked. "I just came to see my hard work pay off."

"What?" Daryl blinked and looked at him. "You teach dance?" He thought he was here to watch, not do. Granted Daryl sat in the corner with Clay on his phone most of the time he was here, so he couldn't vouch for that.

"I help the teacher now and then. So does Mich. We've both been in dance for a long time. Our parents pushed us, and we become super close. We stuck together, and we...both really like how freeing it is." He rubbed his jaw. "You should try it. It...can break down a lot of walls."

"I'd rather drink bleach."

He shook his head. "Don't knock something till you try it." He jogged over to Michonne and the instructor, greeting them with a smile and looking over teens and preteens and little baby grade schoolers all amassed in the one half of the gym.

"I'm gonna walk the little ones out," the instructor told the pair. "Why don't you two get started with the high schoolers?"

"Sure. Uh, just leave Andre by the tables with my phone," Michonne reminded her.

"Shouldn't you be with him?" He arched a brow at her.

"Hey, the golden oldies will be in in about two minutes for bingo and to show us up. He loves them, and they love his youthful energy. I think they suck it out of him, because every time we go home after coming here, he drops like a rock. He's out through the night."

"All right." He walked off to gather the kids fourteen and under to lead them outside to where their parents were likely waiting. He didn't like to let them see the older kids dance, because it sometimes bummed them out. They were in dance much longer and had more control over their bodies and such. It would be...a real self-confidence killer. Or it would be the other way around, and he didn't want to relive that hell.

Michonne set the CD player down on the floor and sat beside her girlfriend, who came to see Carol "shake her stuff", and Lori was trying to end a four hour text session with Rick to see Carol and Caesar. Michonne just snatched her phone and flipped through the songs to find the one Caesar had picked for his and Carol's routine.

"Popcorn?" Andrea offered the bag to Daryl as he moved off the floor and stood by where they sat.

"Nah." He stuffed his hands into his pocket.

"I'll take some." Michonne accepted a handful.

"All right." Jesus got the attention of the other dancers and had them sit around the edge of the half court, and he let Carol and Caesar loosen up. He hoped Carol didn't freeze. He did when it was his first dance with Michonne, and she had to make it up as she went until he came to. It was a nightmare for her, and his mom just loved to show the video off. He tried to delete it, but she had copies in her safe. It wasn't fair on any level, but he was learning to let it go—and pick safe locks.

"You okay?" Caesar looked at her, studying her eyes.

"Yeah." She nodded and smiled. "It's just us, right?"

He smiled widely. "It's just us."

She moistened her lips. "And just between us...I can't feel my legs."

He chuckled and gripped her arms. "Just...focus on me. You got this. You're incredible."

"I'm a novice."

"An incredible one." He rubbed her arms and lowered his hands to grasp her fingers. "Nobody else exists. We're back in my home just fooling around. Dad's gonna embarrass us once it's over, like always."

She chuckled and nodded.

"One, two, three," he whispered softly as she calmed her shaky core, and he spun her around as their music began. Her eyes opened and fell in his, her body moving to the music as it had hundreds of times in practice, and she couldn't help but smile as she followed his lead. "Good."

He made it so effortless, and somehow his happy energy poured out of him and into her. She felt whole when she was around him, and she could fend off the rain clouds as long as the music played. She was truly pleased that he had suggested this. She got to know him on this whole new level, and she really just loved the crap out of him even more. He was this happy-go-lucky precious soul who was like a brother to her and who treated her and Clay and Daryl like blood. It didn't cost him a single thing, and she was so blessed. This whole experience just brought her so much closer to him, and she was lucky. She felt so lucky to be here with him and their friends. Not to mention it was super fun. Hard and left her breathless and with wild curls, but it was so much fun!

Caesar chuckled as Carol didn't miss a single beat, and he was glad he'd gone with this song. It was easy to follow and lose yourself in it. He remembered his parents used to play this in the background when he was a baby. He wasn't sure what his mom was doing, but his goofy as fuck old man was just dancing around him. All the time, every day, and...God, it was so embarrassing, but he would pick Caesar up out of his high chair and dance with him. He'd hold him in one arm and clasp his little hand in his huge one and just dance like it made any sense. It was his fondest memory of both his parents, but thinking back...he was just of his dad. As always...

Caesar fumbled, Carol frowned at him, a silent question in her eyes, and he shook his head, grasping her hand and regaining himself. He spotted Jesus and Michonne studying him, and a blush crossed his cheeks. He ducked his head to pretend to be watching their feet, and Carol squeezed his hand to get his attention. He inhaled and lifted his head, minding how he moved her arms for the turns, and he was surprised to see how much better she'd gotten at moving her hips. It seemed Dad's tips did help. If only he hadn't been like a drunk ape bumbling about. God, he was a goofy dude. Caesar had to get it from somewhere.

Daryl felt...uncomfortable watching them dance. He had never seen either of them dance separately, but watching them together made him uneasy as all hell. They weren't doing anything other than following steps, but...the closeness of some of the moves... Carol was moving in ways he'd never seen her move before, using every curve to her advantage, and Caesar seemed to flow around her. They were in a sync he had never seen before, and it...was difficult to not get irked. It was even more difficult to not feel so envious, so threatened, by his best friend.

He had his hands all over her torso, guiding her body and easing her turns, and at one point her body was pressed flush against his, and Daryl felt his fist ball up. He clenched his jaw and tried to swallow the feeling, but it wasn't going anywhere as long as Caesar moved around Carol like he knew her body better than anybody else.

Jesus studied their moves, impressed at how they moved together, and there was a level of absolute trust. It was...enticing. He and Michonne had that same draw, as did other competitors, but to see it between two who just took dance up was...simply alluring. He was captivated, and he couldn't take his eyes off of them. He didn't know...Caesar had such...well, hips. Nor did he know he was such a strong lead. It was...almost arousing yet at the same time held an familial element. They were moving together, but it wasn't as lovers, it was like siblings in a way, and that brought an edge to the dance. It was hard to take your eyes off of them.

Their dance came to close with a series of twirls and a dip, the duo were breathless, the group around them burst out in applause, and Michonne hopped up to congratulate them. They had really improved since the first time, and Carol was blushing horribly. She buried her face behind Caesar's shoulder, though it only prompted them to tease her more. Caesar gwaffed as Michonne teased her, and Carol smacked him, asking him to make her stop. It didn't last long as they had others who wanted to show off their improvement, and they went separate ways to collect their things.

Caesar stood in the locker room, changing into a swimsuit to take a dip since the competition had ended, and he felt rather than heard someone behind him. He turned as he sent a group text to see if anyone wanted to join him. He found an incensed Daryl glaring him down.

"What happened to your face?" He was joking, but Daryl didn't bite.

"Just one question."

"Oh, boy." He sat down on the bench to ready himself. "Lay it on me."

"What the hell was that?"

Caesar knew what he meant instantly. "I believe it's a salsa." Not an award-winning salsa due to avoidance of favoritism since his father did maintain the center, but they did receive some coupons for free muffins and medium lattes at Lovely Bean.

"You know what I mean. That wasn't just a dance."

"Yeah, it was. It's...an exhilarating and exhausting one, at that, which is why I'm gonna cool down in the pool. Wanna join us?"

"Are you datin' her now?"

Caesar's jaw hit the floor, and he shot up, glaring now. "What the hell kind of friend—kind of person—do you think I am? Do you think so little of me that you would assume I'm dating the mother of your child simply because of a dance? That I could even consider dating her considering that I know how you feel about her?!"

"How can I think otherwise? The way you touched her—"

"I was leading! That just so happens to be what leading a partner in the salsa looks like! We aren't together. I don't have feelings for her in any way! I happen to be interested in someone else!" Daryl lowered his eyes, and Caesar huffed. "She's like a sister to me, man. You of all people should know that. I've spend countless weekends with her and you and Clay, just helping out, because I love you three so much and think of you as family. And in my family, we help each other out. And I only did this to help boast her self-confidence and get her out of the house! I would never use this to get close to her. To take advantage of her. She has been on an emotional roller coaster, and I would never...violate her trust like that. Or yours. I thought you knew me better than that."

Daryl's heart sank, and he wanted to punch himself in the face. "Man, I—I'm sorry."

"Yeah, so am I."

"No, don't be sorry. Carol...looked happy. It's been a long while since I've seen her so happy, and y'all looked good out there. Like you were having fun."

"We were." He smiled a little. "She...she loves it. It's really gotten her out of her head and more in tune with her body, and I think she needed that. She's...getting out of her slump, I think."

Daryl returned his small smile. "Thanks, man."

"You're not welcome. I'm pissed at you."

"I—I dunno how to apologize..."

"Ask the damn girl out already," Caesar suggested. "Stop waiting around and just ask her out. It's been months, stop drooling after her. We'll all drown at this rate."

He snorted. "Shut up."

"I'm serious." He closed the locker containing his clothes. "I'm gonna go swim. You are welcome to join me."

"Nah, I'm takin' Carol home." He moistened his lips. "Uh, you said...you like someone? Mind if I ask who?"

He swallowed and wrapped his arms across his chest. "Uh...its's...Paul. Rovia."

Daryl didn't blink.

"The one upstairs...the one you don't really like." He avoided eye contact.

"How long have you...?"

"Since...uh, he first came to our school. Somewhere around that time, anyway." He was whispering at this point. "It's been about four months."

"Okay, why haven't you asked _him_ out? You rag on me about Carol, but you don't make a move on him?" He shook his head. "Now who's droolin'?"

Caesar frowned. "Wait, what?"

"I better not hear another word about me and Carol till you ask him out. We clear?"

"So...you're not bothered that I'm attracted to..." he didn't finish that sentence.

"You're still the pain in the ass brown-noser who I've worked with for years. Doesn't change shit." He smirked. "Except that you're in the same boat as me."

"For the first time, right?" Caesar chuckled and felt his body relax.

"I gotta take Carol home and make sure my son's doin' all right, so I gotta go. See you at work." He turned on his heel to head out.

"Thanks, Daryl."

"For?" He stopped by the doorway.

"For..being you." He smiled. "I'll see you at work. And who knows? Maybe we'll both have some luck."

He nodded and headed out, smiling to himself somewhat and meeting Carol in the parking lot. She was standing by his car with her backpack on the ground in front of her. She still had one those tight jeans that accentuated her curves, and he wanted nothing more than to take those curves and just...

"Hey."

"Hey." She greeted him with a wide smile. "What kept you?"

"Caesar wanted me to go swimming with him, but we have plans."

She didn't buy it, but she didn't want to argue. "Well? What did you think? Was it okay?"

"It was..." He paused. "I wasn't really watchin'."

Her entire figure...slumped, her face dropped, and that hazy sorrow returned to her face. "You weren't?"

"No! No, not...not like it was borin'!" His heart raced as he scrambled to bring back her smile. "I just...was distracted."

"By what?" Emotion was seeping out of her voice as she hugged herself, as if to protect herself from his next words.

"You," he answered honestly. "You...were good. You two moved well together, and I don't know how much time you put into it, but you...crushed it. It was...sexy."

She chuckled softly. "Okay...?"

"And you were really good. I...had no clue what you were doing, to be fair, but it looked really good. You two...did great. I didn't know your hips could do that."

"They pushed out a child. There's a lot they can do." She opened back up, putting her hands on the aforementioned hips, and she smiled. "They surprised me, too. I suppose I have Amaro to thank. He...showed me how to move."

"Yeah, I'll have to—wait." He frowned and eyed her. "A—Amaro? My boss? He helped your hips do that?"

She giggled. "Not in the way you're picturing. He was like a cartoon character. It was hilarious, and the most fun I've had in a long while. I'm glad...I decided to do this. It...really helped." She picked up her bag. "Want to stop and get something sweet on the way home? I want some frozen yogurt." Too bad it wasn't a muffin, though. She had coupons.

"Sure." He reached out and grasped her bag. "I got it."

"It's not heavy."

"Still got it." He gently took it from her and unlocked his truck, and she smiled, tucking hair behind her ear. "Need a hand up?"

"Sure." She grasped his offered hand and boosted herself up, nearly overshooting and landing in the driver's seat. "Too much boost there, Daryl."

Not from where he was standing.

"I can literally feel you staring at my ass." She sat down. "So much for you being a gentlemen."

He smirked and climbed in on the other side. "If I was a gentleman, Clay wouldn't be born."

She buckled herself in. "True, but it'd still be nice."

"It's not like we're dating," he retorted. "Why do you expect so much of me?"

She paused and thought on what he said then shifted a little. "I don't know. I...hadn't thought about it like that. I...I've never had a boyfriend or a guy friend that I've slept with, so...I'm not sure what to expect of you." She peeked at him. "I'm sorry if I ask too much of you."

"You don't," he admitted. "And I don't mind, just...sometimes can't control my tongue."

"I remember."

He almost commented back, but he held his tongue this time. "Let's go home. It's late. You got to work tomorrow, right?"

"I do, yeah. I want to cuddle Clay the minute I get home." She smiled happily. "Dad's hogged him, but he came from us, so it's my turn. No arguments allowed."

He chuckled. "Yeah, I...wanna see him, too." After all that happened with Paula, all he wanted to do was stare and marvel at how lucky he was to have such a son in his life. God, he'd never loved another being so much, but...maybe that wasn't entirely true anymore.

Lori and Axel welcomed them, Carol asked where mom was, and Axel mentioned drinks with a few friends. Daryl went to Clay immediately, who was chewing vigorously on something Axel had given him, and Clay, at the sight of his dad, spat it out and reached for him with urgent whines. Daryl chuckled and scooped him up, placing a kiss to the top of his head and greeting him with soft words for only his ears. Axel said he'd start making dinner for them now, and Lori offered to help since Rick was busy with a family meal of his own.

"You staying for dinner?" Carol removed her shoes by the door and drew closer to them.

"I can't. Merle has dinner plans with me tonight."

"Oh? How is Merle?"

"He's the same as always. He doesn't get fazed by anythin', you know?" He kept his eyes on Clay. "But I'd like to ask a favor."

"Shoot." She picked up the toy Clay had tossed to the ground and set it on the coffee table.

"Could you stay with me this weekend?"

She tensed and straightened her position. "What do you mean by that?"

"Stay the weekend with me. The entire weekend. You, me and Clay."

"I have to work. Don't you?"

"Ask for it off. I'd really like to spend the weekend with you both." He met her eyes now, and there such gentle determination there.

"Okay." She nodded. "We'll be there."

He smiled. "Thanks."

"We're gonna spend the weekend with Daddy. How do you feel about that?" Carol asked the boy who was attempting to speak to her from Daryl's chest. "Aww." She kissed the top of his head. "I can't wait, Daryl."

Carol let her dad know they would be studying downstairs until Daryl had to leave, Axel didn't need her to call so loudly as he'd been nearby, listening unintentionally to their conversation. He heaved a sigh and realized that no matter what happened, Carol had another family now. It was part of their entire family, but it was mainly hers. He couldn't—and wouldn't—keep it from her, but he could do his best to educate her. When dinner was over, he would speak with her. He should have spoken to her about this a long time ago, but better late than never.

––

Carol put Clay to bed right after dinner as he could barely keep his eyes open, she kissed his forehead and made sure the mobile was on so he could listen to his very favorite song while he slept. She gathered her things from her bed and set them on the coffee table, stretching her back and moaning blissfully when it popped just right. God, it'd been a tiring day. She couldn't wait to crash onto the bed and sleep until Clay woke her up with his crying dreams. He wasn't awake, but he would cry, and Carol always woke up to the sound. She would invest in earbuds, but there was little point. She didn't mind. He was a precious sleeper anyway, so she liked to watch him sleep for a bit. It made her sleeping easier.

"Hey, kiddo."

"Dad." Carol turned around as he climbed down the stairs with a gift bag. "What's going on? My birthday's not for another week."

"I know, but this isn't a birthday gift. It's...something from your mother."

"Why isn't Mom giving it to me then?"

"No, not Karen—Dawn."

"Mom?" Her eyes lit up. "Oh, lemme see." She kept her voice low so as to not wake her son, but she was giddy. Dad rarely presented her with gifts from her mom. Ooh, she was so excited!

"Let's sit down."

Carol curled up on the couch and waited for him to hand over the bag, calming down her urge to grin like an idiot and squeal. She loved these gifts from her mom, these beyond-the-grave moments. They made her feel so close to her mom. It was the best thing in the world anyone would give her.

"There's a card." He handed it over. "Read it later, kay?"

"Okay." She set it on the coffee table gently. "What did Mom have for me?"

"Well, as always Angela Callies had plenty of things for you. This is one I thought would take a while, but here we are." He set the bag in her lap. "I know about your weekend plans with Daryl."

"That Clay and I are going over there to spend family time together? Because that's all it is, Dad."

"Okay. That might be true, and it might not be, but that's okay. You're...growing up. You'll be seventeen this Sunday, and...then you'll be going into your junior year. I need to let you grow up, but I also need to make sure you're prepared."

"Dad." She smiled fondly at him.

"Open the bag."

She removed the tissue paper to find an untouched notebook, a few wrapped items that had faded wrapping paper that her mom must have wrapped, a pack of gel pens and...condoms. She blinked and set the tissue back in there, placing the bag on the floor.

"I know you're on birth control," he didn't look directly at her, "but this is just an extra measure."

"Dad—"

"Your mom brought them—Karen. I couldn't. I feel like I'm enabling you, and I don't like that you could be having sex at your age, but it's bound to happen. Again. I just want you to be safe and to be ready. There's a lot more involved with sex than just...sex. You're letting someone...connect with you, and it's not simple. It's...emotional and yes, obviously physical, and it takes...a part of you each time if you're not with the right person. I know it sounds like cheesy advice from an old guy, but it's the true."

"I know, but I'm not ready to have sex again. I...just want to be a mom right now and an employee and a student."

"You weren't ready the first time, and my grandson happened." He locked his gaze in hers. "Things can speed us so quick, Carol. That's how you were born. Your mom and I were always careful, but in one moment we weren't. We lost ourselves to each other, and logic flew out the window. One mistake was all it took for us to change our lives forever."

She looked over at her son and felt cold. "He's not a mistake, Dad."

"The mistake we made was rushing because asshole grandpa was going to come home soon. We didn't plan on having sex, but we did, and we rushed through the important part—the condom. And four weeks later, Dawn's throwing up into the potted plant outside the kitchen, and Greg's trying to kill me." He shook his head. "You're a gift, Carol, just like Clay. I cherish every second I got to spend with you and Dawn, and I won't take those precious moments away from you and Daryl. If you want to be with him in another way, I'll learn to accept it. He's a good young man, and I'm proud to call him family, but let me ease into it."

"I love you, Dad." She hugged him tightly. "I love you so much."

"I love you, too, kiddo."

 _And you too, Mom. Wish me luck with whatever happens with this weekend, okay?_

– – –

The center had long since cleared out, Michonne had left the cleaning supplies out, and Paul was pulling brooms from the closet beside the empty event room. Caesar had thrown away the empty pizza boxes and lined the trash bags against the wall, looking up when someone entered the room. It was Paul with brooms and a dustpan.

"Thanks." He held his hand out, and Paul handed over a broom. "I got this if you wanna go home. I know you've been here since early morning, and it's about ten now."

"It's a weekend, and I have nowhere to be." He shrugged a shoulder. "I don't mind helping out."

"All right." He walked over to the other end of the room and swept the corners.

"Unless you don't want me helping out," Paul threw out.

Caesar turned to face him. "Why wouldn't I want help? It's Saturday, and I have to work tomorrow."

"I don't know. You...give me weird signals, just trying to clarify them."

"What do you mean?" He leaned on the broom.

"You know exactly what I mean."

"I don't, actually. I barely speak to you, and when I do, I don't say anything rude. It's just...chitchat."

"It's what you're not saying."

"Look, we have this event room to clean up and the court. Those little kids went ham on those cookies, and I don't want to have ants when summer comes in full force."

"Fine, but I'll get an answer before the night's up."

Caesar rolled his eyes and returned to sweeping. They made quick and thorough work of cleaning the event room, Caesar didn't speak to him, and Paul was trying to figure out what was going on with him. They had such a good time today with the kids and everything, but the second everyone else was gone, it was like walls went shooting up, and it was...an awful feeling. He couldn't stand the tension without knowing why. He knew Caesar had no problem with him, but at the same time there was still an issue with something...else. It was bothering him. Caesar wasn't the type to beat around the bush, according to his father, so why the hell was he not only beating around the bush but planting them to keep distance between them? Fuck. He knew homophobes who were less confusing.

Caesar tied the trash beside the court and glanced over at Paul, who was wiping down the tables. He crouched down and checked the time on his phone, seeing he was going to have to work a later shift than he wanted. So much for having the evening off. Oh, well, he would have time to be a teenager over the summer. Dad would have help with the new shop and with this one, so he would have time to do other things, like hang out with friends and...a newborn. Because that's face it, all of his friends were partnered up, and they all had better things to do than hang around with him.

He sighed and averted his eyes, standing up and hauling the trash out. He took the bags lined up along the wall, and he returned to the basket ball court as Jesus picked up the boombox and set it on the half wall.

"You look bummed. Raccoons steal your class ring?" He looked over at him.

"I don't have a class ring." He crossed his arms.

"Tell that to the chain around your neck."

He instantly reached for it through his shirt. "It's...uh, not mine."

"Girlfriend?" He arched a brow.

He shook his head and cleared his throat. "It was my mom's. She...left it when she...left us. It wasn't important to her, but...it's the only thing I have that's hers. Besides genetics."

"Oh..." He cleared his throat this time. "I...I didn't know your mom wasn't in the picture."

"You don't know anything about me, Paul."

"I've tried." He put his hands on his hips and meet his eyes.

"Not really. You've been making nice with Michonne and her friends and all the little kids, but aside from helping me with Carol, you haven't tried to get to know me."

"Well then I'm trying now."

"Why? You have friends, and so do I."

"Doesn't hurt to have more friends."

"To what end?"

"Does there have to be an end?"

"Everything ends!" he erupted. "And I don't see a point in adding yet another person to the very long list of people whose relationship with me ends. It gets...so tiring, and sure, I can be as nice and as supportive as I want, but everything ends, and everybody leaves. My own mother left me! The woman who is meant to love me for the rest of my life up and left me. How can I expect anybody else to stay? Tssh, don't talk about..."

"Okay...calm down."

"I wouldn't have to calm down if you wouldn't get me so damn worked up." He heaved out a sigh. "You're...so infuriating. Do you know that?"

"I do know that. My cousin happens to let me know that all the time."

Caesar shook his head. "I'm not going any further into this. I'm going to...clean up this court and go home. I don't have the energy to fight or do whatever it is you want to happen here."

"You know what." Paul marched over to him. "You are the infuriating one here! How do you not get mad? You start to get fired up, but you just swallow it. That's a good way to blow up over little shit and really hurt someone. Or yourself."

"I take all of my bottled feelings and beat them out in my home gym. There's a reason I'm the star player on the football team."

"That's not healthy."

"Well, it's not like I can talk to my dad or my friends, because they don't understand."

"Talk to me."

"You wouldn't understand."

"Okay, that's a bullshit cop out. You just don't want to talk about it. You've bottled it up for so long, you don't know how to talk about it. And I get that. Bottling things up? I'm very familiar with it. It...has been a chain on my body for years, but I broke free. And you can too." He shifted his weight. "It sounds corny, but sometimes the truth is."

"Just let me deal with my bottle." He brushed by him, and Jesus clutched his wrist, pulling him back to him. "Hey!" He pulled back on his wrist, but Paul's grip was too strong, and he was far too close. He could see the blue specks and vast universes in his light eyes, and he swallowed with difficulty.

"Loosen up, Martinez. What's the worst thing that can happen?"

"A lot can happen."

"Does that mean it'll be bad?" He searched his eyes, his fingers loosening and moving towards his fingers. "You try so hard for everyone else, Team Mom, but you can't do that for yourself?"

Caesar tried to look everywhere but in Paul's eyes, and he wasn't doing a good job of it, because the faded tan walls around them were nothing compared to the beautiful green hues shimmering in the eyes of a guy he really...truly cared about. He had never been so close to him before, and everything seemed to tilt. Walls began to crumble, and so did he.

"Because...I don't deserve it," he confessed, tears filling his eyes.

"What?" Paul almost laughed, but instead he shook his head and set a hand on his shoulder. "You deserve...the world, Caesar. Do you have any idea how amazing you are? I've talked to Carol, and she told me about all you did for her. And for Daryl. You...are epic."

"I just wanted them to keep the baby." Tears fell free. "I didn't want that baby to wonder what it ever did to deserve to be abandoned by the people who made it. I know that pain, and it never goes away, no matter how much love you're given. Everything I did was out of my own selfish desire."

"It's not selfish to want to keep someone from hurting, and it's wasn't like you did anything terrible in the process."

"I have to wonder if I even became friends with Carol for her," he pressed. "Or to ensure she kept her baby. I haven't been sure since I found out she was pregnant, and I thought I could forget about it, but every time I see Clay now, that's all I see. Carol trusts me and relies on me, and...I'm not the good person she thinks I am. We didn't become friends because I wanted to date her and suddenly decided to play uncle. We became friends, because...I wanted to control this decision."

"You have a good heart, and it's a little fucked up, yes, but you're best friends with her now."

"On shit foundation."

Paul wiped away his tears and smiled at him. "Talk to her. It's really that simple. Why don't you realize how...potent words are?"

"Maybe actions mean a lot more." He met his eyes and cupped his hands beside his neck, crushing his mouth against Pail. He didn't make it last long, because he didn't know where Paul stood, and he didn't want to cross this line any further, but he couldn't not make a move. He was standing so close, and he smelled so good. He was this lethal combination of touch and tender tones, and Caesar couldn't take it any longer. He wanted...he needed...and there it was.

Paul stared at him blankly, and Caesar had stopped breathing. He was about to walk off and just let this die, and Paul saw that in his eyes. So he wrapped his arms around his shoulders and kissed him to keep him from running away, and Caesar nearly died. One, because of how soft Paul's mouth was and how easily it conformed to his. Two, because of the delicious feel of Paul's body against his own with nothing but clothes between them. But mostly third, because he hadn't been breathing before this kiss, so he had no air in his lungs reserved for the long kiss Paul had given him.

"Wait." Caesar pushed him back and inhaled deeply, nearly panting.

"What?" Paul set a hand on his chest. "Too much?"

"No, actually," he chuckled, "not enough. I just need some air."

He chuckled and kissed him softly. "You have no idea how long I've waited to do that."

"I thought that was my line."

"Was it?" He searched his eyes. "How long?"

"Since you first came to my school. I...went a little insane trying to figure out what I am, and I was an ass to you, trying to figure myself out. I'm sorry about that. I just...didn't know how to act, because I lost myself, and that was no excuse, but that's...why. But then I talked to Michonne. I...figured out that I'm still me. I'm always gonna be me. I'm not a what, just Caesar, and Caesar happens to...be bi."

"Bisexual?" He inhaled and bobbed his head. "I knew you were something, but...wasn't sure what. I'm glad, though, that I now know you are you. I like you. You is...very likable and has great control over his hips. Not to mention that ass."

He smiled widely. "I...I never thought...this could happen. You always were so distant."

"Because when I tried to get close, you shut me down."

"I'm sorry. It's...a nasty habit. Ask my ex."

"I'd rather not, because as a rule, I don't talk to my boyfriend's previous S.O's."

"Your boyfriend?"

"I don't do flings. I don't...just lightly make out with someone in an empty community center. I take it as long as it can go." He let his hand slowly fall from Caesar's chest and met his eyes. "I want to know more about you. I want to be with you, and I want us to mean something...special and good. I didn't think I could find that here in this backwards little bumpkin town, but I have, and...I'd rather not let this go. If you want me...I'm here. I'm right here."

"Of course I want you," Caesar whispered, taking his hand. "I've wanted you for four months. I'm not letting this go. I want the whole thing, too. I want a relationship."

He smiled and kissed him.

In the distance Amaro stood with a few bags to reward his trusty cleaning crew, but instead found this. He knew they hadn't seen him yet, so he turned tail and edge down the steps. He waited a few moments, inhaling deeply and trying not to look like a deer caught in the headlights before releasing a booming hello so they would know he was here. He found them on opposite ends of the court, cleaning with vigor and flushed faces. He couldn't help the smile that came.

"So...when did I hire you?" Amaro looked over the green eyed young man.

"I let Daryl take Carol home. He wanted to see his son, so I offered to help out." Paul rushed through the words uncomfortably. "I should get home. It's late."

"It's only eleven. Stay a minute more. I brought this for Daryl, but here." He held out the bag. "It's mostly the menu at the candy shop I'm opening in the fall. I wanted their opinion, but yours will do, too. You like candy, right?"

"Who doesn't?" He accepted the bag. "There's meat in here?"

"Packaged pepperoni and salami. You like those, right?" Amaro felt the tips of his ears redden. Did he pretty much just ask this child if he like sausage? Holy fuck all.

"I don't, no, but my cousin loves them. She used to beat me with them when we were kids and would go on picnics on the family farm. Probably why I don't like them."

"Well, there's plenty of baked treats, too." He tried not to let the stiffness settling in his spine show. "Uh, come by the house and let me know what you think. I'm throwing a summer party in June, so feel free to come by."

"Thank you." He smiled his gratitude. "I really appreciate that. Could I bring my cousins and sister?"

"The more the merrier."

"Dad." Caesar finally worked up the courage the speak. "This is Paul."

"Oh, right, I didn't introduce myself." Amaro held his hand out. "I'm Amaro Martinez."

"Paul Rovia." He shook his hand and tried not to think about how that hand was literally grabbing his son's ass a few minutes ago.

"He's...umm, gonna be over a lot, actually," Caesar added. "He..."

"Me and some other friends," Paul covered when Caesar faltered. "For the summer. We're planning a friendly competition for the kids to do here." He gestured to the center.

"That's a great idea. You'll have to let me join you." He had some ideas of his own. "I have a camp out night in mind, too. I'll have to get some parents to help out, but I think it could work."

"Sounds great, Dad."

"I'll be downstairs to lock up. Let me know when you're ready." He departed to give them a moment to say a real goodbye. He glanced back at the pair and smiled sadly. Why hadn't Caesar told him...?

"I'm sorry." He heaved a sigh. "I should've just told him. I—I just couldn't...get the words out."

"It's fine. You were brave enough for one day." Paul grinned at him. "I have to get home, but I'll see you later."

"Yeah."

Paul kissed him, somehow catching him off guard, and Caesar pulled him closer. "Good night. Thanks for helping me clean up."

"Any time. Enjoy the sweets, by the way."

He chuckled and walked off, Caesar inhaled and found a new liking of this old gym and met his dad by the door. He offered a smile and told him of how it went with Carol in the "competition", and Amaro couldn't help but enjoy the brightness of Caesar's eyes and the warmth in his smile. That stone on his shoulder was gone, and he was happy. He'd have to give that boy a good reason to stick around—well, aside from the one he'd already given life to.


	19. An All Encompassing Love

**_Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot._**

––

Carol climbed into bed with Daryl, smiling widely at him and tucking hair behind her ear. She was wearing only a long t-shirt, and Daryl felt it was a teasing joke, but he didn't say anything. He was the one who couldn't stand the couch and its assault on his spine when he slept on it. He also couldn't ask his guest to sleep there. It'd be rude as shit, so...here he was on Friday night with the mother of his child looking sexy as fuck with messy hair and a long t-shirt on while their son slept peacefully in his crib. God, the things he would love to do to her.

"Thanks again for this. Clay loves it." She stretched her legs out and exhaled softly. "I don't think he's ever gone to sleep so quickly before."

"Probably the gin I slipped into his bottle."

"Ha ha." She rolled her eyes and crossed her arms loosely over her lower belly. "I talked to Mom, and there are some signs that he'll be ready to start eating some solids."

"Really? It's not too soon. He's barely four months."

"I'm not going to hand the boy a steak, Daryl. It's just a suggestion. I'm not ready, and I can't tell if he is, but maybe later in the summer." She leaned back against the headboard. "We'll see how his teething and everything goes."

"Guess so." He pulled his legs in and rested his arms across them. "He's getting big, ain't he? I mean, I...knew he'd get big, but he's bigger than I thought he'd be so soon."

"I know what you mean. It seems like he gets bigger every second." She smiled fondly. "He has your hair color, but it's curly like mine. I noticed it last night."

"Does he?"

She nodded. "You didn't notice?"

"Nah, more focused on keeping him from chewing on everythin' under the damn sun. Or drooling on 'em anyway." He had noticed some changes as Clay grew, but it was more how the hue of his eyes darkened, how his feature were slowly changing into more of him and less..."newborn". He was a beautiful little boy, and...Daryl was focused on how much he loved him and how he had never known a love like this. Unconditional, unending, pure. It was...what he must have craved at Clay's age. What must it feel like to receive this love, he wondered for one moment before shaking his head.

"Well, pay attention. You're gonna miss something." She lied down and smirked at him.

He smirked back at her. "Fine, my eyes are wide open."

"Good." She closed her eyes and yawned. "Hmm, your sheets smell good."

He didn't want to admit that he had washed everything before she arrived. Nor would he mention all of the other things he'd done to clean this place up for her. Er, them. He did it for his son too, but Carol was really the only one who could appreciate it. Mostly.

"Mmm." She buried her face in a pillow and exhaled, falling asleep almost instantly. With the heavy meal from dinner and the warmth of the bedding, she was out cold.

Daryl chuckled and reached over, moving a loose curl from her face. "Night, Carol."

The family slept peacefully through the night, Clay surprisingly didn't wake up once, so when Carol woke up out of habit, she was somewhat grumpy and stunned. She saw it was a little passed nine in the morning, and she groaned softly. She rolled over to find Daryl lying right behind her. She nearly gasped, but the sound caught in her throat. She ran her eyes over his sleeping face and smiled faintly.

His hair was like a bird's nest, falling in his eyes and spiking out at the top of his head, and what didn't cover his face framed his pillowcase. His lips were parted as air swept in and out in time with his lungs, his nose twitched once—likely due to hair brushing against it. His eyelids twitched somewhat, his long lashes fluttering with the movement, and then all his movements grew still. His lips widened in their part as he drew in a breathe, and there was movement on her hip.

She gasped and covered her mouth to keep from waking him, and she chuckled behind her hand at the realization that his arm was around her hips. He likely reached out to her in the night. He probably meant to get a pillow but found her instead. And he stayed holding onto her. She hadn't even noticed the weight, her body just adjusted to it.

She frowned as a bitter voice reminded her that she wasn't the only one Daryl had been in bed with and could have held onto. She sat up and carefully freed herself from his grasp, looking back once before shivering and heading to the bathroom to change. She didn't look back again.

Once dressed, she found Clay rousing with gentle whimpers, and she hushed him as she scooped him and cradled him to her chest. She smiled a greeting at him, he didn't sooth so easily, and she headed to the kitchen to get him some breakfast. She was starving herself, so she might as well check out what food items he had for breakfast. Something hot, preferably. Cereal would work too, but eggs and toast sounded pretty good, too. She hoped he didn't mind her going through his stuff. She didn't think he would. He said to make herself at home, so she was going to do just that.

Clay mostly played with his breakfast as Carol made plates for her and Daryl. She didn't know exactly what he liked, but she knew he wasn't picky, so she made the toast and eggs and a couple pieces of bacon. She didn't want to go through so much of his food, but breakfast was the most important meal of the day.

Daryl stumbled into the kitchen, Carol looked over her shoulder as he looked around, a little confused, and she chuckled at the sight of him. He ran a hand over his face and walked back down the hall. She set the plates down at the table, wiping Clay's chin, and she peeked into the hall to see the bathroom light on. She had a seat and waited for him to come out of the bathroom, and he joined her about ten minutes later, looking more awake.

"You didn't have to cook." He dropped into the chair.

"I wanted to make something." She shrugged a shoulder. "Did you sleep okay?"

"Yeah. Why?" He dug into the plate of food before him.

"Just asking." She glanced at Clay, who was making faces and continuing to smashing his food into the tray, and she smiled. "So, what's the plan for today?"

He cleared his throat. "It's not gonna be too hot today, so we can take Clay to the park. There's one about five minutes from here. Your neighbor told me about it."

"Lilly? You talk to her? When?"

"Sometimes."

"Sometimes when?" She was genuinely curious, and he seemed embarrassed. Was there something more to how he knew Lilly? "Wait, you and she didn't—?"

"What? No. I just met the girl when you were pregnant." He looked offended. "And she has a kid. I wouldn't mix with that."

"I was only asking."

"Well, stop, okay? Yeah, I've been a lot of other girls, but that was literally _years_ ago. It's not like I had any interested in them. We used each other. Well, expect for you. You didn't use me."

She hadn't heard him explain it like that before, and she felt an ache in her chest. "Use you?"

"I don't want to go there. I met Lilly about a week after Clay was born at the store. He was crying. I had no clue what the fuck I was supposed to do, and I was stressing out. She came over with her little girl and helped me. I gave her my number, and she continues to help me with Clay. It's not like I have Mommy and Daddy upstairs to help me out."

"That's hurtful."

"It's the truth."

"You think I relay on my parents for everything, don't you?"

"I don't want to fight."

"Then don't insult me!" She stood up. "If you wanted to belittle me, we didn't have to make a whole damn weekend out of it!"

Clay instantly began to wail. He didn't like when anybody yelled, and he didn't like sharp tones. Carol looked ready to strangle Daryl, and he looked ready to fight back, because that was not his fault. She ignored him and lifted Clay carefully out of the high chair, heading to the living room with a cloth to clean him off. She hushed him and considered having Mom come pick her up. She wasn't going to be stranded here with him in a bad mood. They both started this, yes, but if he was going to do that, then forget it. She was ending it.

"Here." Daryl set his hand on her shoulder. "Lemme see him."

"It's fine. I have him." She didn't look at him, just continued to rock Clay and hush him.

"You haven't even eaten. I'll take him." He slid his arms through hers to be holding Clay. "Go and eat."

She scoffed and released him. "Fine, I'll eat. Thanks. I guess." She headed to the kitchen to eat her untouched breakfast.

"C'mere, buddy, let's get you cleaned up." He sat on the couch and set Clay on his knees. "I'm sorry, bud. Bad start to the day. It's my fault. Daddy's an idiot."

Clay hiccuped at him.

"Yeah. Sorry about that, too." He gently cleaned his chin, removing the stained bib from his neck and sighing softly. "Any ideas how to make this better?"

He babbled at him.

"Yeah? You think so? Could I score some brownie points with that?" He chuckled as Clay continued to make noises in an attempt to speak, and he kissed the top of his head. "Let's get you dressed for the park. I'm thinkin' overalls." He needed an undershirt for that, right? Maybe...

Carol washed up the dishes and dried her hands slowly, not wanting to meet Daryl just yet. She exhaled deeply and hung her head back, pushing off the counter and going to Clay's bedroom. She wasn't a child. She needed to nip this in the bud. It was childish to run away. She wasn't going to do that. Not anymore.

"Hey, Daryl?" She opened the door and found him on the floor with Clay, fitting him into overalls without an undershirt. "He needs an undershirt."

"Could you hand me one?" He was somewhat struggling. Maybe something similar would have been better. He forgot this kid was a master at wriggling and a pro at being unhelpful when trying to put on a similar piece of clothing. "He's like a human worm."

Carol laughed. "Here, let me." She grabbed an undershirt from his dresser and dropped down beside him. "There's no real trick to it, but he has a pattern. Some days."

"What, is it? Worm-worm-wriggle-worm?" He laughed helplessly, feeling like a fool for not being able to dress his own son. The one time he has Clay with Carol, and he can't dress him. "I swear I dress him when you're not here."

"It doesn't help that I kinda snapped at you." She couldn't look at him or Clay would slip out of the undershirt onesie. "I'm sorry I ask for so much. Probably too much. I mentioned this before, but our relationship is complicated. I don't know what to make of you. You're not my friend. You're not my boyfriend. We have a child. I'm spending the weekend with you and our son, so it's not like a teen sleepover I'm used to." She shrugged her shoulders. "It's weird."

"I'm not your friend?"

"Not just." She tucked hair behind her ear and glanced at him. "Never just."

"Carol, I meant what I said. The other chicks I was with, we used each other. Through Merle, I had access to pills and booze. They wanted them, and I wanted a release. It worked out for both of us until I met you. You didn't want to use me, but I still used you." He lowered his eyes. "I'm sorry."

"What?" She fastened the buttons to the overalls and picked Clay up. "You didn't use me."

"Yeah, I did. And I didn't even wear a condom when I did it." He looked at Clay. "No offense, bud." He stroked his hair. "Glad I didn't, but still."

"Daryl, let me say this one more time: I wanted it. You didn't use me. I could've stopped it, but I didn't. There was no using. No advantage to be taken. We both wanted it, so we had sex. It doesn't seem so simple, but it is." She patted Clay's back gently. "What's complicated now is us. We have a son, and we have a semi-good relationship when we don't fight over trivial things. I know my problem. I want more out of you than I should expect from a friend. It hurts...when you talk about other women you've been with. It makes me jealous. Like...what happened between us wasn't...anything to do you. Just another Friday, you know?"

"It wasn't like another anything I've ever experienced before." He met her eyes. "I...can't explain what happened between us, but trust me, it—it usually doesn't feel like that."

"Like what?"

"Right, you've never... I was your first." He pressed his lips together in thought. "Look, it just doesn't end up like that mostly. I've had a lot...er, it's been worse."

"Do you know how many women you've been with?"

"Would you be upset if I said no?"

"No. A little grossed out, but no."

"In my defense, I was out of my head on drugs and booze."

"Would you have approached me if you hadn't had anything to drink?"

"I don't know how I wouldn't have noticed you, beer in my system or not." He was tired of trying to bundle everything up. It was always going to be complex, but it could hurt a little less this way. If he could just tell her... That's all he wanted to accomplish this weekend. He wanted her to know what he was feeling, how much he...wanted her. How much it killed him to have her so close and yet so far a-fucking-way. It was brutal.

Carol couldn't avert her eyes from his, not after seconds became a minute, and she felt pulled in by the impassioned desire catching fire in his eyes. She found herself only inches from him, her nose touching his, and if she was breathing at all, she could have tasted his breath.

The moment Daryl reached out to touch her, Clay spit up on her blouse, and she gasped, jerking away from him at the hot liquid dripping down her shirt. She closed her eyes and handed the boy over to Daryl, standing and excusing herself to change, not wanting to look at the mess his belly had made of his breakfast.

"Okay, you cannot block me like that." Daryl scolded his son lightly. "Don't do it."

He simply looked at him with big eyes and reached out to smack his face.

"You're a little shit." He stood up to clean his chin off, grabbing a cloth from the dresser. "But you're my little shit, so throw me a bone, please." He wiped off his chin and walked to the living room.

"So, you mentioned the park?" Carol came of the bathroom in a t-shirt, moving to collect some toys for Clay to play with and readying his bag.

"Yeah."

"Sounds like fun." She avoided eye contact and moved quickly, hoping to shake off whatever affect Daryl had on her before they were in a small space.

"I'll take him downstairs, get him in the car seat."

"Good idea." She stood up and zipped the bag up. "I'll meet you in five minutes?"

"Okay." He grabbed his keys from the end table by the door and padded down the stairs. He groaned once he was outside and blew out a sigh. "Damn it." She was going to pretend like nothing happened. If he tried to talk about it, she'd shut the shit down. He wanted to talk. He wanted to kiss her. Hell, he wanted to do a lot more than just kiss her, but he couldn't begin to get close to doing those things unless she was willing to acknowledge what was happening between them. She had to feel it, too. There was no way she didn't. She was about to kiss him.

 _How in hell does she go from almost kissing me to park?_ he griped to himself as he unlocked his truck.

Upstairs Carol buried her face in her hands and groaned loudly. She could not be any more cowardly. She could have just walked over to him and kissed him. She could have asked to talk about it. She could have just done about a million other things to get that conversation started, and how dare he just play along with her? Ugh, he should have confronted her. She wanted him to. Honestly, how could he just almost kiss her and them accept the subject change? He shouldn't have accepted it. He should have pressed her—against a wall and do all the things he did to her that night almost a year ago.

No, no, now wasn't the time for this. She had to meet him and go to the park. She would talk about it tonight. Once they had dinner and put Clay to sleep, they would talk about this. She wasn't going to run away. She wanted to try being with him in that way, and she couldn't do that if she played the coward. No matter how familiar the skin was.

––

It was a nice day to be at the park, the sun was shining, but not blaring down on them. The birds were out and letting the world know they were, and there was a cool breeze to the keep the sweat at bay for now. It was still early, so likely it'd be a rager in the afternoon hours.

Daryl laid out a blanket for them, Clay was lying on his stomach and chewing on one of his toys, and Carol wondered how his teeth were doing. Well, they weren't "teeth", but there were a couple cropping up. She was glad they weren't bothering him so much today. He cried so much the other night because of it. Maybe that stuff Mom gave him helped. She would to ask what it was. Or maybe she didn't want to know, because Mom wouldn't even let her smell it, let alone apply it. Hmm.

"Your senior year starts in less then four months. How do you feel?" She was lying beside Clay on the blanket, keeping a close eye on him, and she peeked at Daryl. "Nervous?"

"Tsh, hell no. I'm ready to graduate. I want to be in college already." He was leaning against a tree, his arm on his one upraised leg, and he leaned his head back to touch the bark. "I'm countin' the days down."

"That's good. I was worried you'd be nervous. Guess that's my job."

"You'll be fine. You make good grades."

"How would you know?"

"Just a feelin'." He closed his eyes and allowed the scents of nature to relax him. "Doubt you'd make anything less a B minus."

"You should see the incompletes I have now." She chuckled softly, humorlessly. "Let's hope I don't have to take summer courses."

"Yeah. That'd suck. It's our first summer with Clay, and we'll both be workin' our asses off." He picked at the blades of grass beside him. "I have to talk to Axel about the bill I paid for him. Well, he wants to talk to me about it. He ain't happy we did that."

"How did he find out you paid it?"

"I told him."

"Why? I thought it was supposed to be a secret. We'd pay a couple bills here and there and never speak of it."

"It ain't right for us to do that without tellin' your parents. I don't want secrets. I want to help y'all out since...y'all have done so much for me. I want him to know that I'm gonna support you guys, too, if you need it. Right now, a couple hundred on a bill ain't a big deal. I mean, I have my savings plus my rent ain't ridiculous. It's manageable."

"Maybe I should pay you back and handle the extra bills myself."

"It's fine."

"No, it's not. It's awesome that you're willing to do this for us, but you don't live there. You aren't using power or water or anything. It's asking too much and while I do appreciate it, it's too much. I may not make as much as you or can work as late as you, but I can cover at least one of our bills."

"Still gonna talk to Axel. If he wants my help, he has it."

"Shouldn't you worry about Merle and his bills?"

"We don't pay bills."

"How can you not pay bills?"

"We have well water, a generator, and we have a crummy little box that gives us a few channels. Honestly, we don't even exist. Our mailbox is just for show. All of my mail is send to a PO box, and Merle doesn't get mail."

"How is that even possible?"

"Our old man...didn't want to world to know where he was. After our first house burned down, we just...took up in the woods. Pretty sure he stole the damn trailer we live in, but it's not like I could've asked."

"Whoa, whoa." She sat up. "Your house burned down? When? Why didn't you ever tell me?"

"Because I was, like, ten, and it's not important now. It happened a long time ago."

"Daryl, it's huge. Were you okay? Did you get caught in it at all?"

"No. I was down the street with some kids from my block when it all went down."

"That must've been terrible. Everything you ever knew...burned to ash. I'm so sorry."

"Yeah, I guess." He averted his eyes.

"It was. There's no guessing about it." She crossed her legs and reached over and grasped his hand. "I wish that hadn't happened. God, how did it start?"

"My mom. She started the fire."

"Oh, my God. Was it on purpose?"

He didn't meet her eyes. "I doubt it. She liked her wine in bed. Havin' a husband like my old man would make anyone wanna drink, too, but...see, it wasn't just wine she'd had. She like Camels. She always smelled of 'em and of cheap red wine. Guess she had too much of it that day...passed out with a lit cigarette..." She let go of his hand and moved to sit beside him, wrapping her arms around him firmly, her head against his shoulder. Daryl could barely feel her warmth. "By the time the fire department got there...there was nothin' left. The house was gone...she was gone. Almost like she was never here."

"I'm so sorry."

"It never felt real," he confessed. "Her death... There wasn't a body left, only ash, and Merle wouldn't let me near the house. He held me back, carried me to the truck and drove off. We didn't talk. We didn't...stop driving. I think I was crying, but I can't be sure. The night was a haze."

"He just took you away from it?"

"We went out to the woods, got plastered, and he told me not to think about it anymore."

"That's awful." She shook her head. "That's totally the wrong thing to do. God, you were just a little boy. You should have been your dad or with the police."

He shivered. "I smoked my first blunt that night. It only...made what happened feel more like a dream. I didn't talk about it when we got back. I haven't talked about it until now."

"I wish I'd known you then." She stroked his shoulder with her thumb. "I don't know what I could have told you to make it better, but I would have been by your side. I wouldn't have let Merle do that. It was stupid. That's not how you deal with loss."

"That's the only way he knew how to deal with anythin'."

"Doesn't make it right. He should have let you find your way to deal with it." She shook her head. "You were just a kid."

"So was he."

"How could your dad just let you wander off after that?"

"You don't know my old man."

"If I did, I'd kick his ass. He should have been a better dad. He should have followed Merle, supported you both through that major loss in any way that he could. He shouldn't have just hoped you'd be all right. Ugh, he makes me sick to my stomach. Where can I find him? I'd like to hit him with a truck."

Daryl chuckled darkly, and Carol frowned at the sound. "If I knew where he was, I would've done more than hit him."

"Daryl...?"

"You have an escapee in the making." A laughing voice said over them.

Carol looked up to find Lilly standing over their blanket with Meghan on her hip, and she released Daryl to spot Clay trying to worm his way off the blanket. He couldn't crawl yet, but he was attempting to...roll, maybe. They couldn't be sure, but it was adorable and risky. They hadn't been paying attention to him. Thank God Lilly came by when she did.

Carol picked up him and held him. "Thanks. We...were talking."

"I noticed." She smiled at her. "We come to the park every Saturday morning, too. Before my shift and before all the judgy Moms come out."

"Yes, I've noticed them a lot in the grocery store. They don't like me." Carol adjusted Clay against her chest. "Or Daryl, but he mostly glares back."

"They shouldn't stare. It's fuckin' rude." They didn't even have Clay with them, just his baby stuff, and they _still_ glared. Bitches.

Lilly laughed. "It is, and Tara does the same thing."

"How is she? I haven't seen her at school lately." Carol sat down beside Daryl. "You can sit down, if you want."

"Thanks." She sat opposite them with Meghan on her lap. "Tara's been sick. She's been in and out of a fever with some flu tendencies in there. Dad's taking her to the hospital today."

"That's awful. So close to the end of the year, too."

"Yeah, she's trying to get better so she can be at my graduation, but I don't want her to force herself to do something she isn't ready for."

"I forgot you were a senior." Carol frowned. "I...I meant to hang out with you a lot more than I have. I...got so busy with Clay and my job. I forgot. I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry. I was swamped with school, Meghan, my job and my family. It happens. We have plenty of time to hang out before school starts back up, and if we can't then it's okay, too. Life makes plans for us when we're not looking." She shrugged a shoulder. "It's fine."

"Are you nervous about graduating?" Daryl asked.

"I was, but I'm already going adult things. I pay bills. I work. I have a child. I'm not too stressed out about it anymore. I'm happy that I get to walk with my class, and I'm glad to have good friends by my side. It's a good life. I'm thrilled to be where I am and with the people I'm with. I wouldn't change a single thing."

"When do y'all walk? I know the last day is June 2nd."

"Yeah, it's on the 24th of May. It's at the convention center."

"You mean that humid hell hole where we were all forced to linger in if our science fair projects made it into the top three?"

"Yep, that's the one." She sucked air in through her teeth. "Yeah, last year at least two girls fainted there while just waiting in line to enter the event room."

"Oh, God." Carol frowned. "And they still haven't done anything about the heat?"

"They brought in some fans, I think. It must...like, moves the humidity around, but it's something."

"Dude, that bites."

"Yeah. I'm lucky my last name is Chambler. Once I get that slip of paper, I am out of there."

"You won't do the throw your cap thing?"

"I paid five bucks for my tassel, plus like fifty for the cap and gown, so nah."

"You have honors?"

"I do. I have the cords and everything." She smiled with pride. "I worked hard for them, and I'll work even harder to graduate with honors at Georgia State."

"You got accepted?" Carol had wide-eyes, and Lilly giggled. "That's awesome, Lilly."

"Thanks. I...don't have a full ride, but there are some scholarship due to my income level and my little one here, so I'll do fine. I always do."

"What are you going for?"

"I want to be a nurse."

"That's really awesome." Carol grinned. "I'm so happy for you."

"Yeah, that's great," Daryl chimed in. "You'll kick ass for sure."

"So will you. We've had all the same classes this year, and you do amazingly well. Like I'm jealous at how good you are in our college lit course."

Carol glanced from Lilly to Daryl and back, hoping that more information on that would come to light.

"Just makin' stuff up is all."

"No, you're not. It's deep and moving. It's impressive. So much so that teacher is writing you a glowing recommendation for college." She smirked at him. "I'm a little jealous, but hey, you deserve it."

He blushed at the praise and averted his eyes. "...thanks."

"You scream, I scream...we all scream for ice cream..." This came from Meghan, who had spotted the ice cream cart across the park and clapped her hands.

Lilly chuckled. "Yes, that's ice cream. Do you want some?"

"Yas." She nodded her head. "With the...the...the chips, and the...brow-y."

"I love brow-y. It's my favorite." Lilly kissed her cheek. "Do you guys want anything?"

"Yeah, I'll grab us something." Daryl hopped up. "We'll be right back, 'kay?"

"We'll be here." Carol nodded as they walked off to get some ice cream from the vendor. "Your dad is deep and moving, huh? I wonder what else we'll learn about him today."

They returned with three bowls of ice cream, Daryl took Clay to let Carol eat hers without Clay drooling and trying to knock the cup out of her hand like he sometimes did, and Daryl dodged and weaved Clay's little hands like a champ. After growing up with a drunk Merle, he knew how to avoid grabby hands—only this wasn't a bottle and Clay wasn't on the floor trying to grab it. Lilly shared hers with Meghan who made quite a mess of her face despite there being little to make a mess with.

"What are your plans for today?" Lilly pulled a wet wipe out of her bag to clean up Meghan's hands and chin once the ice cream was gone.

"We haven't really decided." Carol glanced at Daryl. "Maybe...lunch? I don't know."

"Well, there's not much you can do with Clay being so young, but I know a few places you can hang out at and not be caught in the heat."

"That'd be nice." Daryl pulled his phone out. "Any place nearby?"

"Yeah, I'll send you a list. They have some discounts for kids, and most of them are either free or just a couple bucks."

"That's sweet. Thanks." Carol set the empty bowl down. "What are your plans?"

"I have to work at one, so we're just gonna chill out here for another hour maybe then head home."

"Yeah, we'll probably be here for a couple more hours, right?" Carol looked at Daryl, who vaguely nodded. "Then probably get lunch. Or something."

"If you guys want something fun and free to do, the community center has events almost every weekend following the first of spring. Paul and Michonne run it. It's actually really fun, and there are some older folks from a nursing home who come and watch the babies. It helps them so much, and they're caretakers there in case they need any help with the babies, and it's really sweet. You can help out with the older folks or join in on the games or just chill in the pool. It's really neat."

"That sounds awesome. We'll definitely check that out."

Daryl shook his head somewhat at the idea of being around all those people. "Yeah..."

They talked for a bit after that, mostly Carol and Lilly while Daryl lied down with Clay across his chest, stroking his hair. Meghan played a bit with some of Clay's toys while Clay passed out on his dad, and Carol and Lilly took some photos of both kids and sleepy Daryl. Carol felt normal for once with a friend, and Lilly gave her some tips on how to help Clay cope with the teething and some other fun growths to expect. She was prepared for them book wise, but it didn't hurt to have some advice. At least from a friend and not some total stranger who wanted to dictate her life. Or judge her. God, if people didn't assume he was her little brother when Mom was around, she go the stank eye. She avoided going shopping with Clay since then, especially since stores are gross and germy.

Soon it was time for Lilly to leave, Carol waved goodbye and thanked her for her advice, and she looked over at Daryl who was fast asleep with Clay on his chest, Daryl's hand holding his back. She smiled and reached over to brush his bangs from his face then smoothed over Clay's soft hairs. They were so precious. She'd never known a joy like when she saw them together. It made her so...thrilled. Like on every level, even the ones she didn't know where there. She was lucky to have such a good guy in her life. She couldn't begin to explain the emotions swirling and bursting inside of her at the sight of them, at knowing them, at being a family with them. It scared her sometimes—to love this much, to trust this must, to feel this much—but it was a good type of scared. She didn't know good scared existed, but there was a lot she didn't know. About life and children. About Daryl. About his past. She shouldn't hold it against him so much. He was who he was, but know he was her friend and the father of her son. He was a good guy, honest and dedicated, and she would support him through...anything. He was supported her wholeheartedly, so how could she give any less?

Daryl drew in a deep breath, her smile widened, and his eyes slowly opened. It was quiet now, and Lilly's perfume wasn't in the air. He looked over and saw it was just Carol. He felt a little guilty about passing out, but honestly he was glad Lilly was gone. He didn't want to deal with other people today. He wanted to be with his family. Well, most of his family.

"Was it my snorin'?"

She lightly rolled her eyes. "No. It's getting late."

"How late?"

"Nearly lunch time. Wanna get some food?"

"Yeah. Sounds good."

Carol collected the toys and blanket while Daryl soothed Clay's cries at being woken up too early, they walked back to the truck, and Daryl looked up a place to eat while Carol strapped Clay into the car seat. He rubbed the back of his neck and climbed into the truck, closing his phone and putting his seat belt on, looking over at Carol and Clay, smiling a little to himself before starting the engine.

"Wanna stop by LB?" He scratched his nose between his thumb and index finger.

"They have food? Lunch food?" She tucked hair behind her ear.

"Yeah, they have sandwiches and salads."

"Are they any good?" Her nose scrunched, and he chuckled. "What? I've never been there before."

"Yeah, they're good." He pulled out and into the road. "I have lunch there sometimes when I'm working."

"Oh, okay then."

It was only about twenty minutes away, and it wasn't too crowded for a Saturday. Daryl ordered for them while Carol found a seat, placing Clay's carseat in a chair sideways and pushing it against the table for balance. She was anxious about it, but it held, and seats here huge, so she made herself relax. She and Daryl could probably share a seat, so Clay's car seat was good. It was good. It'd be fine.

Daryl handed her a glass bottle of tea and a bag of chips, she accepted them, and he went back for their sandwiches. Carol was impressed by how fresh it looked, and Daryl just chuckled at her again. It didn't embarrass her, but she did feel a blush on her cheeks.

"I just got some turkey sandwiches. Hope you don't mind."

"I'm not picky." She opened the chips and helped herself to them. "We'll have to find someplace for me to feed Clay."

Daryl lifted his eyes and nodded. "Yeah, the apartment ain't too far from here."

"Figured. It's by the meat shop, so it's probably five minutes away?"

"Probably." He bit into his sandwich and licked mayo off his lip.

Carol inhaled and twisted the cap off her tea, not seeing a label on it, but it smelled of blueberries. It tasted as such, only it was really good. She didn't know they made teas here. She'd always wanted to come here, but she never had time with work and school. Mom didn't like their coffee, but Dad would bring it home now and then. Carol wasn't "too young" to have coffee, or Dad didn't want to share, because he was physically wrecked and needed it to function. She really hoped he got that promotion, because he was killing himself for it.

"How have you never been here?" Daryl leaned across the table at her, arms between his thighs, palms gripping the soft cushion and smooth wood of the chair.

"Lori isn't that fond of the smell of cooking coffee. Andrea didn't like the old cashier. Um, Michonne offered to take me when she worked here, but it conflicted with my work schedule." She shrugged a shoulder. "And I only found out about it last year. Er, freshmen year. They had the coupons for cupcakes and coffee if you bring in a game ticket or something."

He nodded. "They have good cupcakes. We should take some home for dessert."

"Sounds good." She bit into her sandwich, finding there was more to it than turkey. She tasted avocado, tomato, mayo, two different types of cheese and bacon.

Daryl laughed at her expression and gestured to his lip.

She covered her mouth with her hand, still chewing, and asked, "What?"

"You got a bit of mayo there."

She wiped it with the back of her hand smeared it, and he laughed again. She swallowed hard and blushed. "Stop laughing at me."

"I'm not." He picked up a napkin and reached over, wiping it off her cheek. "And you say Clay gets his messiness from me."

She laughed then and met his eyes, her pulse racing at what she saw there, and she swallowed hard for an entirely different reason. "Thank you...and he does get it from you," she managed after what felt like several lifetimes.

"Sure." He sat back down and returned to his food with such focus that Carol worried he might choke—though she didn't blame him. She did the same, and silence became them. A comfortable silence.

––

"Want to go do one of the fun things Lilly told us about?" Carol asked after putting Clay down for his after lunch nap, joining Daryl in the living room.

"No." He pried his boots off and plopped down on the couch.

"We can't just stay cooped up in here." She walked over to him. "It's a nice day, and I think the community center could be fun."

"No." He reached up to loop his finger through the belt loop on her shorts and yanked her down. She gasped and caught her weight on the back of the couch, still crashing down him. "It's our nap time. Sleep."

"Daryl." She pushed herself up, her thighs straddling his hips, and she set her hands on his abdomen. "You can't seriously be tired."

"I am. I didn't sleep for shit last night, and I'm not goin' back to that bed, so be my blanket and hush." He closed his eyes.

"I can get you a blanket..."

"Don't have a spare."

"It's not that hard to get it off the bed."

"It is."

"You're being childish."

"Shhh. My blanket don't talk."

She laughed and rolled her eyes. "Fine, but no funny business."

"Scouts honor, ma'am."

"You so weren't a Scout." She giggled and rested her head on his chest. "You're such a goob, you know that?"

"No...I didn't know." He grasped her elbow and stroked it with his thumb. "Must be somethin' you bring out in me."

She didn't dare lift her head. "Maybe." She lied down, minding how his legs bent over the arms of the couch and adjusting hers between his, nestling half her body between him and the back of the couch, the other half over his body.

"You know...he hasn't been to see him," he muttered softly.

"He?" She looked up at him.

"Merle. Clay's been...here for months, and Merle acts like he doesn't exist. He always makes sure Clay ain't here when he visits, and he doesn't really bring him up." He stared at the ceiling. "He was supportive when you were pregnant, but now that Clay's here... I dunno. Something's different with him."

"I'm sure he just isn't used to you being a dad."

"I don't think that's it."

"Well, you know him best, but babies change a lot. He might be jealous of Clay. I mean, we do spend a lot of time together here and at my house, and when was the last time you even spoke to Merle? Or stopped by his place?"

"That's true, I guess."

"Just make time for him, ease him into it. I mean, Clay is a huge change for all of us. It takes time to adjust. You're a package deal now, and...it's not with Merle. It's with your son."

"Our son..."

"That goes unsaid."

"No, the package isn't just Clay. It's you and Clay. Your family and you and Clay. It's all of us, and Merle should be okay with it. I mean..." He sighed. "I don't know what I mean."

"Ease him into it. He's getting a huge family, and we're all so different. It's gonna take time. We'll start slow. Let's drop by tomorrow and spend some time with him."

"We'll see."

"I want to get to know every part of you," Carol confessed. "Not just you now, but how you were as a child and how life was for you as a kid. I know it wasn't like how I was grew up, and I know it was hard, but one day I hope you'll tell me."

"Why do you wanna know?" he whispered.

"Because...I care about you, and I want no surprises. I want... I want..." She blushed and buried her face in his chest. "...you."

He couldn't hear her words, but it sounded like ew. He didn't want to know if he smelled like dank grass or sweat, so he pretended he didn't hear anything and lightly snored as if he'd fallen asleep. It was easier that way.

They were only able to nap for a few hours before the monitor howled, Carol stumbled off the couch and went to find Clay wet in his crib. Daryl was trying to smother the monitor with a pillow as it gave off awful feedback, and he sat up, blinking hard to focus on the red letters of the alarm clock he had placed in the hutch. It was four o' clock. Or...wait, did he set that clock? Ugh, where was his phone?

Carol returned with a snuffling Clay, sitting on the couch as she held him to her chest, and Daryl reached over, rubbing the sole of his foot through his sock.

"He okay?" He cleared his throat.

"Yeah, just a wet diaper." She rubbed his back. "I need to spring for a better brand next time. Or, an actual name brand. They're just so expensive."

"I have that gift card."

"Is there still money on it? I know we used a lot on decorating his rooms and all the little extra stuff Mom said we'd need."

"Yeah, there's money on it. I'll pick some up in a bit when I get dinner."

"Thanks." She kissed the top of her son's head. "I need to save up for a car."

"Yeah, that'd be a good idea."

"But I have to learn how to drive and passed the tests. I barely have time to study, let alone focus on something else." She sighed. "I knew it'd be hard, but I had no clue it'd be this hard. I mean, I love him. God I love him, but I wish I was older and had stability and... and more to offer than just love."

"You offer more than just love, Carol."

"It doesn't feel like it."

"Don't doubt yourself. You give more than enough. We both do."

"He deserves more." She adjusted her son and exhaled, meeting his eyes. "Do you wonder if we made the right choice? I'm not saying we didn't. I'm just asking." She didn't like the glare in his eyes at that question, but...surely she wasn't the only one with doubts.

"He belongs with us. We're his blood. His parents."

"I know where he belongs, but—"

"No but. There's no but. He's ours, and he stays with us. Always. That's how it's gonna be. We'll struggle and fuck up and be shit out of luck now and then, but he isn't going anywhere. I don't care if there are better suited parents out there. I don't care if they offered us money and shit, the world on a silver fucking platter. I don't want any of that. I want him. I want to be here as he grows and walks and talks. I want...to be there. I don't want photos from someone else's perspective. I want to be the one taking the photos and catching him when he falls. How can you not?"

"I never said I didn't want that, too, but...what if we aren't giving him the life he needs. Are we being selfish?" She searched his eyes, her throat sore at those words, and her heart...was a sack of bricks in an abyss. "I think about that all the time—my wants—but what about his? Is this best for him? Truly? Because...I'm not sure. I was. I was so sure before I gave birth, but now...I wonder. I worry. It hurts inside sometimes."

"It's gonna hurt. We...traded in our youths for him. It's scary, yeah, but it's worth it. We're enough. He deserves to be raised by us. We're doing just fine. Better than fine most days." He slipped his hand into hers and held it tightly. "Don't go there. Please."

"Sometimes I look at him, and I don't know what to do." Tears formed in her eyes. "I can't tell my parents. They'll try and handle it for me. I can't tell my friends, because they'll think I'm awful. Maybe I am. I have to be to think like this."

"You're not. I have doubts, too. I don't know what the hell I'm doing with him most of the time, but he's happy. He's healthy and strong. That's on us. We're doin' that."

She inhaled and buried her nose in his few hairs. "I don't want him to know I have these thoughts. It's my biggest fear."

"Hey, he won't know. All he knows is you're his momma, and he loves you. He trusts you. I do, too." He smiled for her. "Look, this is all too much. I understand. It's an adult's situation, and we're not there yet, but we will be. By the time he can register what we're doing, we'll be there. Trust me on that."

She could only nod.

"C'mere." He tugged on her hand, and they adjusted themselves on the couch, so that he was holding her and Clay, and no one was being smothered or smooshed. He didn't let her say anything else, just kept one arm around her waist and kept her close; his hand overlapping hers lightly on Clay's back. He had no more words, so he hoped this would do. He hoped this was comfort. It was all he had, so he hoped.

– – –

Clay was laid out on his blanket, playing with a cloth lady bug and babbling, wide awake and energetic. Daryl had moved the coffee table and was sitting on the floor beside him, chuckling at how easily entertained the boy was. He pulled his legs up to his chest, his back against the couch, and he rested his arms in between his stomach and thighs. He watched Clay, his little lips moving and sometimes making sounds. Daryl wondered what he was trying to say, and Clay looked at him, babbling. He giggled and went back to his toy.

"You makin' fun of me?" He tickled his belly, and Clay laughed. "Little shit."

Carol emerged the hall. "Language."

"He started it." He looked over at her. "You good?"

"I'm sorry, I know that much." She walked over and sat in front of him, smiling over at Clay. "I want to be an adult, but I'm not. I'm sixteen, and my brain is that of a sixteen year old. It wants simplicity and...and high school stuff. Boys to oogle. Shopping. Not the hard stuff we do. School and then work and rushing to study while cramming in dinner and raising a baby and repeating that cycle every single day. I was overwhelmed. I'm sorry."

"It's okay to be overwhelmed, just...don't say stuff like that again."

"I won't. Scouts honor."

He smirked. "You were a Girl Scout?"

"I have knee socks. Does that count?" She laughed with him, and he shook his head. "Darn, but seriously, I won't. It was just the voice in my head, and I wondered if I wasn't the only one. That's all it was. Promise."

"Good."

"What do you wanna do tomorrow?" She picked up one of Clay's teething rings and tossed it at him. "We can't stay cooped up in here."

"Community center's good. We can do dinner here after."

"All day community center? You sure you're okay with that?"

"It ain't my idea of fun, but Clay shouldn't be out in the woods. He can't fish, and I'm pretty sure he can't shoot a gun or crossbow, so yeah."

"We'll have to have your fun one day when we can get a babysitter for Clay."

He moistened his lips. "You sure about that?"

"I'm very sure." She arched a brow at him. "What, you think I'm scared?"

"No, but you might not like how dirty it gets."

"Well, I guess I'll just have to—"

A buzzing sound cut into Carol's word, Daryl hopped up to get the pizza they had ordered, and Carol peeked at him over her shoulder before he walked out. She didn't see his face, but she could tell he wasn't fond of the interruption. She didn't know if he knew she was flirting, but he knew she was doing something, and he liked it. Heh, she liked it, too.

Daryl padded down the steps to the back door, finding Glenn Rhee at his door, and he opened it using the code Amaro had given him. "That was quick."

"Yeah, it's our motto. Fresh and quick."

"Yeah..." He dug a twenty out of his wallet. "Keep the change."

"Thanks, man." He smiled. "Have a good weekend."

"You too." He took the pizza and returned to his apartment, finding Carol had gotten them drinks and paper towel napkins. He sat down in his spot and set the pizza between them, opening it and helping himself to a slice while Carol pushed a paper towel at him. He took it just to please her.

"Looks like someone likes sausage." Carol pointed to Clay who had rolled onto his stomach and was drooling at the pizza not a foot away from him.

"One day, bud, but not today."

Clay gripped the box, and Carol carefully removed his fingers. He whined, and Carol rattled one of his toys in hopes of that getting his attention, but nope. The boy wanted a slice, and Daryl would have sneaked him some sauce, but Carol didn't approve of that. It was a good thing Carol didn't see how much Daryl let Clay taste stuff.

They enjoyed their dinner, fighting their son off of the box, and eventually it was time for bed. Due to their naps, no one was tired. Daryl grabbed the blanket off the bed and a few pillows, popping in a movie, and Carol set Clay down to rest in his bassinet. They lied down on the floor, using the couch cushions to make it more comfortable, and they began their very short movie night. They were still young parents who were overworked and stressed, so about half way through the movie, everyone was out cold.

In the morning when they were all dressed and fed, they went to the community center, Caesar was there with Paul and Andrea. Carol was excited to see them, and she raced over to greet them. Daryl was left to catch up with Clay, but he didn't mind. He was happy she was happy. He'd be happier if he'd man up and just say what he had been meaning to say for months now, but at least he wasn't the only one.

"Guess what?" Andrea beamed at Carol and nudged Caesar in the side. "Tell her. If you don't, I will."

"It's none of her business," Caesar instead said. "She just can't knock and walked in."

"To these two making out." She arched a brow and smirked. "I'm glad to not be the only one to come out this school year. I'm proud of you, dude. And good taste, too."

"Wait, you did what?" Carol gasped. "You told him? You did it?"

"You knew?" Andrea gaped. "I mean, it's personal stuff, but...how long exactly?"

"Andrea." He rolled his eyes and laughed. "It...just happened after the contest. I haven't told my dad, so this stays among us."

"I'm so happy for you." She tackled him tightly. "I knew you'd be good together."

"Well, I guess those lessons did more than raise your confidence."

"What do you mean?" She stepped back.

Andrea shook her head at him stiffly and greeted Daryl and Clay. "He has a boyfriend, and it means nothing."

"His boyfriend means nothin'?" Daryl frowned at her. "That's harsh."

"Not the boyfriend. I was talking to Carol. It did boost your self-confidence, though, so it's like extra awesome you did it."

"You totally had this planned, didn't you? To have me learn this dance and rebuild my confidence and stop being in a rut?" She folded her arms over her chest and eyed them. "Fuss up, please."

"Only because we love you and want you to be okay," Andrea confessed. "It worked. You had fun, and he got a boyfriend out of it. It wasn't malicious."

"I know. I just wanted to hear you say that." She smiled. "Thanks for being there for me, guys. Really, it means a lot to be so loved. I don't know what I'd do without you guys."

"Have a boring birthday party this Sunday?" Caesar suggested. "I bring the best gifts, and I make a killer cheese plate."

"Axel has it all planned out already," Andrea informed him. "It's a simple dinner at our favorite restaurant. His treat."

"I still make a killer cheese plate." He shrugged a shoulder. "Let me know the details."

"I'll have Mom text you since it isn't my party apparently." She turned to Daryl. "I'm going to use the bathroom, but make sure the seniors don't pinch his cheeks so much."

"I got him." He adjusted him the carrier and moved aside to let her by, turning to Caesar. "So, you told him?"

"Was I the only one who didn't know?" Andrea sighed and heard Amy calling to her. "Excuse me."

Caesar waited for her to be gone before grinning. "You have to tell Carol this weekend. It's only fair. I did my part. It's your turn."

"It ain't that easy."

"It really is. Just kiss her and talk later. Or talk first and then kiss her. Just make a move. She cares about you, and you know that. You just have to make a move. You or her, but for the love of God make it soon. She wants affection bad, dude, trust me."

He frowned. "How do you know that?"

"Ummm, bi perk?" He laughed nervously then groaned through his teeth. "She may have thought she had feelings for me...so I kissed her once during practice."

"Hmm." He ran his tongue along his teeth and bobbed his head.

"It didn't mean anything. It was just to eliminate me from her mind in that way, and honestly, all it did was prove that I needed to make a move with Paul. She helped me see that, and it did the same to her. Just trust me."

"That's the second time you've kissed," he commented.

"Okay, the first time doesn't count. It was a moment of weakness. This last time was just clarification. And you're missing the point—she cares about you. You need to make a move on that. And stop focusing on the kiss. You aren't dating, and I wasn't at the time. It was friendly, like a practice kiss."

"Why didn't you tell me about it before now?"

"Because it's not important. It's not like I'm going to confess to her that I love her or something. That's a line I never want to cross. Maybe before you and she hooked up, but you did, and I respect that relationship is complex and not something I should mess with. We're better at being friends anyway. We're too similar in a relationship. We'd never get anywhere."

"What, you thought about it?"

"She said it."

"I know you respect her and us and our relationship for whatever it is, but it'd be great if you stopped making moves on her. I know you say you're not, but you asked her out. You kissed her. You act like her boyfriend sometimes, you know that, right?"

"No, I didn't. I... I mean, I can see how, but we're not like that. Seriously, it won't happen again."

"I hope not, because I don't want this to become a problem. I actually like being friends with you, so don't ruin it. There are boundaries with being friends. Stay in them."

"I'm sorry." He bit his bottom lip. "I guess I was lonely, too."

"You should talk to her about that. It didn't mean anythin', but you should still talk. You look like you need to talk to her anyway, like you got a secret or some shit. Clear the air with her, too."

"Yeah, definitely."

He exhaled deeply. "You care to watch him for a second? I need to get somethin' to drink."

"Yeah, I'd love to." He scooped him out of the carrier before Daryl could even blinked and smiled a greeting at him. "You have gotten so big. You're going to be taller than me, aren't you?"

Daryl rolled his eyes at their conversation and headed over to the vending machines, removing the carrier and digging out his wallet. He bought two drinks for him and Carol, running a hand through his hair and trying not to let what Caesar told him get under his skin. He knew it meant nothing, but it was twice they've had these mean nothing kisses. It unsettled him. If Carol did like him, did she even know in what way? Apparently she wasn't used to having guy friends, so...did she even like him or just expect that as a perk? He was worried about the answer, because he did like her. A lot, and he didn't want to be a perk. He wanted to be...hers.

"Hey." Carol stood behind him. "Want to go swimming? Paul has claimed our son as his own for the next hour, and the pool's empty until a class that comes in at two."

"I didn't bring a suit." He stood up and held out a bottle of soda. "Just planned on Clay doin' stuff."

"I don't have a suit either. It's not like anybody's watching. We can swim in our underwear. It's the same thing."

"I'm good." He popped the top to his drink, twisting the cap off as it hissed and taking a drink.

"Okay, we can bowl then. I'm not that good, but Andrea said Michonne will be here in twenty minutes. We could buddy up again kick their butts. Or try."

"I could keep score."

"They have machines for that." She was beginning to frown, and she lowered the cold can to her side. "Do you not want to spend time with me or something?"

He sighed. "It's complicated."

"How? We had fun yesterday, and now...you're giving me a cold shoulder. What happened between this morning and now?"

"You know how you don't like me talkin' about the girls I've slept with?"

"Yeah, it makes me feel like...well, not very good about myself. It kinda dampens that night and what happened between us."

"Yeah, so does you kissing Caesar."

She tensed, her lips parting in a stammer, and her fingers nearly dropped the soda to the floor. "He—he told you about that?"

"Why didn't you?"

"What's to tell?"

"Clearly a lot by this reaction." He heaved a sigh. "I get why it happened the first time, but the second? I don't understand at all. I mean, you say he's just a friend, but then you do this? Twice? Or was it more than that? I trust you. I do, but it's becoming difficult to continue to do that. I just want to know why."

She gripped the can firmly and lowered her eyes. "Why..."

"He has a boyfriend now. I knew he liked Paul. He told me so himself, but he didn't mention at all that you two had kissed again until I pushed. So you both felt guilty about it enough to keep it from me. I don't like secrets. I sure as hell don't like you kissing my best friend every time I turn my back it seems like."

"It was only those two times, and they meant nothing. The first was my mistake, and the second was a shock. I didn't know he'd kiss me. Yes, it went on too long, and I did participant, but I don't want him in any other way then my friend. I'm sorry I made you question our friendship and our respective relationships with you. I didn't mean for that to happen. It just felt so...long ago, and it didn't mean anything. We just kept talking like friends afterward. I didn't think there was anything to...discuss with you or him."

"It's not okay, but I do know how you feel now. It's not how I wanted to gain that knowledge, but here we are. I want you to know that anybody who came before is...past. All of them. It's you and me now with our son, and whatever happens next, I want us to be a...I dunno, a team about it. I need you to trust me and talk to me. I know I ain't the easiest person to do either with, but I have expectations of you, too."

She swallowed. "You do?"

"Yeah, like don't kiss my best friend or continue to kiss him when he kisses you."

"It won't happen again. He has Paul, and I... I don't want to kiss anybody." Her mouth stopped before the words "except you" could follow, and she lifted her head to meet his eyes. "I don't want a relationship with anyone but you and Clay right now. Trust me on that, and I am sorry about Caesar. He loves you and respects you. He wouldn't kiss me to hurt you or in an attempt to steal me from you. It won't happen again, and if it does, it'll be Paul on the receiving end, and I'll be on the sidelines."

"Could he, though?" Daryl murmured, dropping his eyes now, ice coursing through his veins at the thought. "Could he steal you?"

"Of course not. Why would you...?" She trailed off, lips rolling inward and pressing together, and she nodded. "Paula slept with Merle even though she loved you. I'm not Paula, and I would... be offended if I hadn't proven myself untrustworthy, but believe me when I say that we're friends, and I want to try and...more than friends with you. I...I really care about you, and I don't want to start here or now, but I want you to know that."

"Start what exactly?"

"Hey," Andrea wrapped an arm around Carol's shoulders and grinned, "we have a game all set up. Come and join us. We have drinks and nachos and your son. C'mon."

"I suppose if you have nachos." Daryl smirked and didn't look back at Carol, heading down to the bowling alley and finding Michonne and Lori and Rick waiting. He was glad for distraction, because that conversation took a turn he hadn't expected. Damn, he couldn't wait to get home tonight with her. He had to think of what to say or do, and he had time now to think on that. God, he hoped he could think of something good.

– – –

They had a great night with friends. The girls teamed up against the guys, Carol was distracted constantly by Lori and Andrea and their endless advice on how to throw the ball and how to get a strike. She wasn't the best player in the world, but she was doing all right. Michonne could see that and told them to lay off, and they decided to discourage the boys.

Caesar already was a pro at bowling, so there was nothing they could do throw him off his game, and they knew it, so they moved on to Rick. He was okay at the game, but they did make him get a couple gutter calls. Lori made up for it each time with a kiss that took about fifteen minutes and a lot of tongue. Andrea took it upon herself to remind them of the kids around them and that she would each Lori's nachos and feel no guilt. That worked quickly, because Lori had been waiting for her nachos for thirty minutes after the last two times she'd ordered them. Michonne ate one and Andrea the other, and Carol was already helping herself to the fresh batch. They were lucky these were free through Caesar, or Lori would have kicked some major ass.

After the bowling game as up, the girls went to have a swim, and Carol wanted to stay and talk more with Daryl, but Rick and Caesar had already dragged him off to help with the grill. It was about time to feed the kids who came here, and they needed all the manpower they could get. Pam, who usually watched the boys, was the one throwing down the grill, and she was a great griller and worked in a quick system. She needed them there to be sure the fresh food was handed out to the kids who were playing in the parking lot. It had been emptied of cars and entrances were blocked, so no one was in danger, only laughter and full bellies were allowed.

Andrea and Michonne were racing each other to the diving board, Carol and Lori stuck their feet in the kitty pool with Clay sitting in his car seat between them, out cold, sucking on his thumb. Carol lifted her foot out of the water and let it splat back in, exhaling softly and wondering if Lori could watch Clay so she could jump into the actual pool for a bit.

"So, we haven't spoken in a while." Lori tapped her ankle against Carol to get her attention, and Carol met her eyes. "You okay?"

"Yeah... No, not really. I'm stuck in an awkward situation. I'm not sure how to get out of it."

"Well, tell me the situation. I can help."

"It's...not that I don't want to tell you. It's just that I want to work it out myself, you know? I have to stop relying on everyone else to fix my problems. I caused this one, so I'll work it out. Thanks for offering, though." She smiled. "How are you doing with Rick? You're very...openly in luvr."

She laughed, the sound lighting up her face, and she shook her head. "Well, things are great. We spent all of Saturday together at the house. Dad was off doing some work on the side, and Mom went to hang out with Sasha and Marney, who want to see you, by the way."

"Ooh, I want to see her too. Both of them."

"I have her address written down." Her teeth caught her bottom lip and released it slowly before turning to her sister. "We had sex last night."

Carol nearly fell into the pool, her eyes widening at her sister, lips parting and moving with no sound coming out.

"I used protection, don't worry. I'm on birth control too, and we had a condom, so we were safe." She laughed softly, running a hand through her hair and trying to keep from smiling so hard. "I can't talk about it to anybody, because you're not home yet and they are off in couple land, but here you are now so."

"So...?"

"It wasn't how I expected it to be, but...it was nice. He's really sweet and gentle, and I love him so much. It just made sense for us to take the step. We were ready, and I don't regret it. I just wish you were home so I could have talked to you after he left."

"How did this even happen?"

"Well, I wanted company, and we watched a couple movies while talking." She crossed her legs and rested her hands in her lap. "It just sort of...happened in a way. He kissed me on his way out to get some more popcorn, and...we just didn't stop there. We were both ready for it, and...wow, you were right about it being a lot."

"How...was the actual, like, sex?"

"He's seventeen, what do you think?" She smirked. "He said he was going to do "research" for the next time. I'm scared about what that means."

"Probably porn and google." Carol snickered, and Lori splashed water on her. "Oh, come on, it's true."

"You're so right, but I don't like that you said it." She laughed and hummed. "I should do some research of my own, too, see...what there is, what I might like."

"Are we talkin' with Rick or alone?"

"I don't know yet, but it's a good thing I know how to clear my search history."

"Right?"

"I feel so much closer to him now. I love him so much, and it feels right to be with him in this new way as well as how things were before. I think we made the right decision to wait for a bit, and I'm glad it happened. I hope it happens again soon."

"Just please use protection. I don't want to put our parents through another pregnancy."

"Trust me, Rick definitely knew that condom like an old friend. I bet his dad enforced the wrap your rascal thing."

She laughed. "Probably. It's good to practice safety."

"And we'll definitely be practicing...all summer long." She smirked suggestively, and Carol rolled her eyes. "How about you and Daryl? Anything?"

"We're...friends." She pulled her legs out of the pool and checked Clay over to be sure he was all right. "There's nothing else there."

"Carol, we're not stupid. We know there's more there. You love him, and it's not all friendly. It's okay. He's an actually decent guy, and you have my support. Andrea's, Michonne's, Mom's. Dad won't be too happy, but he'll come around. You can't wait forever. He does graduate next year, and college is full of experiences and ladies. One of them may get involved with him." She set a hand on her knee. "I'm not trying to hurt you, but life doesn't wait for you to be ready. You know that. This is why Clay is here."

She adjusted Clay's shoe. "I don't think I stand a chance anymore."

"Like hell you don't. I see how he looks at you. You just have to go for it. Make a move and talk to him about what it means. Or talk and them make a move. Be impulsive in a smart way. He hasn't walked away from you yet, has he?"

She inhaled and blinked around the tears in her eyes. "No."

"And he won't, so...talk to the man already. I know it's huge. It's massive, but think of the pay off. You and he will be a power couple raising your son together, and we as your friends and family won't have to suffer the sexual tension at meals."

"It's pretty bad." Michonne wiped water from her nose and bent down behind the car seat. "Like seriously. It's like walking into sexy molasses. That should not be a thing, Carol. You made that statement happen, so fix it. Please."

"It's rubbing off on us, and we make poor decision." Andrea sat down beside Lori. "This one boned Rick. Rick."

"Hey!" Lori smacked her knee lightly. "Shut up. It wasn't a poor decision."

"At least I came," Andrea murmured.

"Whoa, whoa." Carol leaned forward. "You two had sex?"

"Not yet." Michonne hugged her knees to her chest. "We fool around, though, and I masturbate."

"Seriously?" Carol's nose wrinkled. "You do?"

"Well, why shouldn't I? I mean, it's my body, and I'd like to know it. Besides...Andrea keeps getting her nails done, and it's not fair to me." She chuckled when Andrea turned bright red. "We do things, but not the full act yet."

"Hey," Andrea turned to Lori, "Michonne could talk to Rick and teach him some things. You might actuall—"

She clamped a hand down over her mouth. "Don't finish that sentence. Ever."

"I don't mind. I mean, a girl's got needs, and he probably couldn't last long." Michonne was dead serious. "At worse he leaves the conversation horny, but there you are, so it's all balanced."

"Oh, my God, you guys suck." Lori removed her hand and shook her head.

"She nibbles," Andrea corrected, and Carol snorted. "It's nice."

"Wow." Carol laughed. "The last time we were here was in eighth grade, and I was trying to ask out that really hot guy who came to our school to talk about farming. I think it was Maggie's big brother."

"And we didn't bother to talk you out of it 'cause you had no balls to actually ask." Andrea nodded. "I remember."

"She has a point," Michonne remarked. "We've grown a lot since then."

"Mostly apart, though." Lori's lips fell slightly, sadly. "We have two more years of high school before we drift apart, so let's not let it happen now, please. You guys are my best friends, and I want to keep it that way."

"Well, we have a little dude now, so we have to make some exceptions." Michonne leaned over the carrier as Clay began to shift and stir. "I think we're waking him up."

"It's okay. If he sleeps now, he'll never sleep tonight." Carol rubbed his cheek. "Hi, sweetheart."

He groaned and whined, little eyes shutting tighter, and he was frowning.

"He's not a happy camper." Andrea jumped up and grabbed a towel. "I'll keep an eye on him. You guys go swim. That class gets here in about forty minutes, so make the most of it. I need a snack, and he probably needs something, too, so I got this."

"His bag's in the fridge," Carol reminded her. "It has the elephants on it."

"Thanks." She picked him up out of the carrier. "We shall be upstairs. I'll try and get some hot dogs or burgers while I'm up there for you guys."

"Thanks." Carol stood up. "Really, all of you. I love you guys, and I'm glad we got to talk before my very formal birthday party this Sunday. Apparently the sweet sixteen was all mine, but seventeen is Dad's?"

"Then eighteen is all ours." Lori winked. "We're gonna get crazy, us girls and our one year old little dude. Watch out world."

"Maybe Lori will have her first orgasm by then." Michonne smirked.

"Okay, enough. I happen to have a handle on my own needs, too." She crossed her arms and returned her smirk. "Do you really think I didn't?"

Michonne nodded and tilted her head to the side. "I had a feeling, but it's fun to tease. I rarely get to do that anymore. I mean, I can't constantly tease my girlfriend. We'd break up, and I love her too much for that."

"And you can't tease Carol?"

"Please, what's to tease anymore? I'm proud of her progress in coming out of her shell and not letting anyone walk on her. Phillip tried to make a comment on her skirt, and she shut him down. I could have cried I was so proud."

"Guys, I'm standing right here." She was blushing from the embarrassment. "Stop it, please. You're not my moms."

"I feel like it sometimes." Michonne stepped back. "Come and swim with me. We can talk over burgers."

"She has a point." Lori caught up to her. "Last one to the diving board has to buy drinks!"

– – –

The evening wrapped up with Clay passed out in the backseat of Daryl's truck, Andrea and Michonne were cuddled up under a blanket as the cool spring air blew at their still wet selves, and Lori and Rick were sitting on a bench, kissing and whispering to each other. Paul was trying to round up the kids who had no ride home, and Caesar was arguing with a little girl who claim to have gotten no pudding cup. He had personally given it to her, and he didn't want to go back inside to get her another one. The janitors were cleaning up, and he would not get in their way.

"Okay, Molls." Paul handed her peanut butter cup. "Here. Go get in the car and wait with your brother."

"Thank you!" She bit into it and ran off towards his car.

"Little brat." Caesar sighed and rolled his eyes. "I had her coming around."

"No one has ever gotten her to come around. She likes sugar. Can you blame her? She's nine." He set his hands on his hips and smirked. "Look, we got no times for ourselves tonight. It's barely eight, so why don't I meet you at the movies? They play horror movies from the 80's, and we can make out in the back row."

"We can do that at my house without the mysterious stains," he reminded him.

"Yes, but your dad isn't at the movies—unless you told him."

"Not yet. He has a business meeting on Monday, and he hasn't left his office all weekend. I'll talk to him on Tuesday."

"Meet me at the theater then." He kissed him. "You owe me a popcorn, by the way. Large."

"We'll see." He smirked.

He kissed him once more then left to take the kids home, Michonne and Andrea said goodbye to Carol and Lori, Daryl and Rick awkwardly stood by the truck, and they went home. Lori played on Paul's suggestion, and they headed out to catch a movie. Carol climbed into the truck and buckled herself in, looking back at her baby boy and smiling at him. Daryl pulled out and said nothing to her the entire drive home.

The air around them wasn't angered or annoyed. It was actually pretty comfortable, and Carol knew they had a lot to talk about. All of their attempts for conversation today were cut off by her friends or his, and they eventually gave up and decided to just go with group's plans. It turned out to be a lot of fun, and the kids that came here were hilarious. They knew how to have a good time, and everyone was laughing. Lori and Paul had taken so many pictures for the community center Sunday class of section and for themselves. They were great memories, normal memories, and Carol was grateful to have them. No matter how brief they were.

Daryl put Clay to bed, discarding his jumper in the hamper since it smelled like BBQ. He would have to give him a bath in the morning before he left for school, but he had to be up early anyway to take Clay home to Axel while they went to school.

He pulled the door shut and met Carol in the living room, opening his mouth to try and start this conversation. The mere thought of this conversation made his heart ache, a cold sweat broke on over his skin, and he wanted to leave. It wasn't that easy to simply leave. He wasn't going to run from this conversation. He'd been avoiding it long enough.

"Look—"

He was cut immediately by her arms wrapping around his neck and her lips finding his. His entire body stopped at the feel of her lips against his. He stared at her without reacting, but she pushed harder, and instinct took over. His eyes fell shut as he grasped her hips and brought them right against his, tilting his head to the side to devour her mouth, and he turned to push her back against the hallway wall.

Her hands cupped his cheek, feeling the cool air still lingering there, and she stroked her thumb across the lines of his cheekbones. She pushed up on the tips of her toes, meeting his kisses and opening her mouth to his, the rush of wet heat bringing a soft moan to her throat. Her heart was pounding in her ears from the heady kisses, a knot deep within her body tightened and ached, and she needed more. His mouth, his hands, his body right there wasn't enough. It was delicious and warm and familiar but not enough.

She dropped her hands to his chest and pushed him back, he stumbled a few feet away from her, eyeing her questioningly, and she took his hand, leading him to the couch. He sat down, and she climbed onto his lap, reaching up and popping open the first few buttons of her blouse.

"Wait, wait." He caught her hands and shook his head. "What are you doing?"

"I don't want to talk anymore, Daryl." She lowered her hand. "Not tonight. This isn't like before. I'm choosing you and I don't need anything to help me make that decision, so please...choose me, too?"

"Carol..." He lowered his eyes, moving his hands from her top to her hips, pulling her closer to him and grinding his hips upward at the same time. She gasped softly, and he closed his eyes at the sound, the blood in his body catching on fire. "There was never a choice, you know."

She smiled and kissed him, weaving her fingers through his hair and rocking her hips into his. He shuddered and dragged her shirt up and off her body, catching her hips once more and ensuring they didn't stray far from his body, and she giggled, moving curls from her face and kissing him softly.

Her fingers unfastened the buttons to his plaid shirt, finding an undershirt there, and broke their kiss to push his over shirt off and down his shoulders. Her hands felt his muscles hard and warm against her palm, she pulled his arm free, their fingers lacing together, and she cut a glance to his eyes. He was almost smiling, and she removed his shirt completely from his body.

"You wear so much," she griped, and he laughed, kissing the edge of her lips. "I'm serious. I'm offended."

"I'll bet." He slid his arms around her hips and gripped her ass, pushing his hips upward against hers, and she whimpered at the sensation. "You're on the same boat as me."

"It's a bra." She closed her eyes as he ground against her harder and harder, and the knot inside was screaming. "Oh...my God." She dug her nails into his shoulder and moaned, gripping the back of the couch. "I can't... I can't breathe." She bit her bottom lip, and he smirked.

"I ain't even started," he murmured into her ear, stilling his hips, and she whined for a different reason. "Let's go to my room."

On the way to his bedroom, her pants and shoes were discarded, leaving her in mismatched panties and bra. He stood still dressed in his jeans and sleeveless shirt, kissing her and backing her up against the bed. He savored every inch of her body, kissing her and holding her, stroking her. She was perfectly wet and ready, and he was so hard it hurt. God, he wanted her more than anything, and she wanted him just as much. There was no booze here, no need to hide or pretend. There was just them, and it was the sexiest thing he'd ever felt.

She buttoned his jeans, shimming them down so they'd fall of on their own, and she sat down on the bed, wrapping her legs around his waist. He lifted her up, her arms tightened around his neck, and he climbed onto the bed, minding her limbs as he did so, and he broke their kiss to remove his shirt.

"You're so beautiful." She ran her hands up his chest to grip his shoulder. "You're always beautiful."

He shook his head. "Nah, that's you."

"That'd be us," she corrected. "You are handsome, Daryl. I'll convince you of this."

He kissed her lightly. "You ain't gonna have much time for talkin'." He trailed kisses down her torso, she tried to ask him what he meant when he slipped her panties off, and she felt his fingers brushing across the curled hairs between her thighs. Her face reddened and grew hot as his fingers brushed across her thighs, his lips following, placing feather light kisses in his fingertips wake. Her heart was ready to explode, and her lungs draining of air when she felt him prop her leg over his shoulder and pull her in closer.

She gasped in utter surprise at his tongue stroking her walls, hands balling into fists at the tender yet through exploration of his tongue. She had heard and read and even seen scenes about oral sex, but she didn't know it was like this. Oh, my God... She moaned and gripped the sheets tightly, resisting the urge to press her thighs together.

Her body tightened and fluttered, her back arched off the bed at the feel of two fingers reaching inside of her, and she cried out, her lungs burning unbearably as he slowly stroked and blew and tickled her. She had never had to endure anything like this before, tears prickling up in the corners of her eyes at his leisure pace.

"Daryl..." She couldn't move from his other hand keeping her pressed against the bed, and he was a lot stronger than she thought. Stronger and more cruel.

His fingers moved out of her, she groaned, and he brushed his damp fingertips over her delicate folds before slipping them inside her ass. Her entirely body jolted at that, her walls clenched, and he nibbled on her thigh, thrusting his fingers in and out slowly, watching her react. He smiled and kissed her thigh once more, releasing his hold on her lower stomach and moistening two fingertips with his saliva, gliding through her folds and finding the neglected and attention starved pearl inside of her.

He couldn't help but watch her body writhe as he pumped in and out of her ass and stroked her clit, she was this heated mess crying out for him, and he went harder and faster on her ass. He watched her unravel, a wet heat soaking over his hand, her walls clenching and clamping down, and her mouth called his name, dragging all the air out of her body.

He removed his hands and kissed her lower stomach, standing up and smiling down at her.

She looked up at him, reflecting his smile, and he climbed onto the bed beside her, kissing her lips and pulling her closer. He didn't have any condoms in the apartment, and he didn't want to risk a repeat of what happened their first time. He wanted her, though. Fuck, he wanted to bury himself deep in her folds and forget there was ever time they weren't connect.

He heard whining in the next room, and she pulled away, forgetting that Clay was sleeping just a room over. "Must've woke him."

"I'll get him back to sleep." She slid off the bed and hurried to his room.

Daryl rolled onto his back and pushed himself up, knowing Clay wasn't going to go back to sleep easy, and they would probably be up a while. His eyes fell to his still erect dick, and he looked over at his hand still covered in Carol's juices. He glanced at the door before reaching inside his boxer and stroking himself. It wasn't what he needed, but fuck, he could work with it. Remembering her soft walls and moans, feeling her juices wet on his shaft, he had a lot to work with.

They didn't see each other for the rest of the night, Daryl had a shower to clean himself off, Carol had to give Clay a bath to help calm him down, and Daryl took over for her at four in the morning when she nearly smacked into a wall. She had put on his plaid shirt, but he could still see her thighs and her ass when she walked down the hall, and he was tempted to just risk it. He wouldn't, and Clay definitely wouldn't let them even try, so he could only hope there was a next time.

– – –

Carol had to rush out of Daryl's apartment the next morning, Axel was waiting downstairs to take Clay from her, and she didn't even see him before she had to leave. Axel was putting in an order for her birthday cake with the newly opened bakery, so she was lucky to have him there, and he dropped her off at school. He did question why she was wearing a man's shirt, and she looked mortified.

"I... Clay threw up on mine, and I forgot to change." She groaned. "This is Daryl's."

"Close the door." He looked back at the parents cars behind. "Close it."

"But I have—"

"You're exhausted, kid. Close the door. I'll write you a note."

"Thanks, Dad." She closed the door and closed her eyes. "He wouldn't stop crying all night. I am so tired. I could cry."

"Yeah, I know that feeling." He reached over and lifted her chin, smiling at her. "He will grow out of it, I promise. He'll just...start doing in it grocery stories over sponges."

"I was three. I really wanted them."

"You embarrassed Karen."

"Well, I'm sorry. I was three." She moved his hand from her chin. "What are you doing that for anyway?"

"Just trying to see if that was a cut. It's not." He pulled out onto the road. "How was Daryl?"

She chuckled softly. "He's great. He took over for me, and I got two whole minutes." She looked back at her son. "I don't think he's ever gotten so loud before. I wonder why he was so upset."

"Did you guys fight? He probably picked up on that."

"No, we weren't fighting at the apartment. We had words the community center, but not at his apartment."

"What words?"

"It's not important. We worked it out." She smiled to herself, the slight uncomfortable twinge that shot through her body from sitting a delightful reminder of how they'd worked it out.

"Just remember the condoms."

"Dad!"

"Carol." He rolled his eyes. "I'm serious here."

"We aren't having sex. We...we just kissed."

"Uh-huh." He cut a look at her. "I know his type, and clearly he doesn't just kiss. Otherwise I'd have our laser guns in the back seat, not a grandchild."

"Fine, we made out, but Clay started to cry. Are you happy with those details? We didn't have sex." She crossed her arms. "I'm not a child, so if I were to have sex with him, it doesn't concern you. It's between us."

"I know, but when you do start...or continue a physical relationship with him, don't try and hide it from me. I mean, it's insulting. I can see something happened between you two last night, so stop trying to insult me."

"Fine. Fine, okay, we did mess around. I'm sorry that I'm trying to keep my private life private."

"I don't want details, just...stop acting like I'm unaware of you and Lori and your relationships. I'm old, not blind. You make me feel..."

She frowned and looked over at him. "What?"

"Like an idiot, to be honest."

"Dad, I don't...think you're an idiot, and I don't want to make you feel like one. I'm not...trying to insult you. I'm only trying to keep my families separate. What Daryl and Clay and I have doesn't always concern you and Mom and Lori. There is a line, and I want you to respect that, too. You are my dad, and I love you, but I'm not six anymore. I have a child. I'm growing up. I...like sex." She tried not to blush, but they were both looking pretty mortified and red. "With Daryl... We haven't done anything since June, but we will. I want us to, and I want you to know that it will be safe, and there is consent. We'll be smarter about it. I...really care about him, and I'm tired of pretending I don't or shouldn't. Especially in front of you."

"Me? What do I do?"

"You look at me like I'm a baby still, and I'm trying to preserve that and by doing that sabotaging my relationship with Daryl by...acting like a baby. I'm tired, Dad. Aren't you?"

"It's been a long week for me, and I'm sorry. I'm sorry I work all the time, and that I'm not home. I'm sorry to you and Lori and your mom. I'm sorry to Clay."

"What does that have to do with what I said?"

"Because the last time I was just at home, you and Lori were precious little six-year-olds." He blinked back tears at the memory. "Now I'm home again, and I see you both as the women you're becoming. I see Karen...happy and in love, and it's...difficult to process. I thought I had it all worked out, but life never followed my plans. I've taken anger out on the wrong people, treated you like you were still that six-year-old instead of sixteen, and I am sorry. You grew up so fast on me, kid. I'm not ready."

"Dad, I'm not either, not really, but I am getting there."

"I know." He smiled at her. "I'm proud of you, kid, but God... I thought I had more time."

"Yeah, don't we all?"

"I'm sorry if this doesn't make sense to you. I have a lot to tell you girls, but Karen's not ready, and I... I'm just a mess right now. I need to get back to work. I miss the constant flow and work."

"Yeah, you're practically married to work."

"It's all I have most days."

"You have Mom—and us, to a point."

He didn't say anything, just turned down the street, and Carol studied him. He didn't say anything else for the rest of the ride home, and he took Clay inside. Carol sat in the car alone in silence for ten minutes before unbuckling herself and following her father's path into the house. She saw him staring at a picture of them from Halloween four years ago, and she frowned.

"Dad, what's going on exactly?"

He inhaled. "Things are changing, kiddo. Rapidly, and I'm sorry. I wish...I had better prepared you and Lori, but I just loved you. I think that's all I could ever do."

"Okay, you're scaring me. What is going on? Are you and Mom having hard times? I can help with the bills. Is the house in danger? Or—or your jobs? Daryl helps me out a lot, so I can pitch in around here with food an—and clothes. I'm a good sale shopper." She searched his eyes as he drew closer to her, hands on her shoulders, and he pulled out a smile. "Dad..."

"You can't fight this change with money or clothes. It's been a long time coming, and it will be great for all of us. I promise. Don't be scared."

"Can't you just tell me what's coming?"

"I can't, because I don't know for sure, but...it'll be great." He forced a laugh. "You'll... you'll see."

She tripped backwards when he released her, tears falling down her cheeks, and a darkness seemed to color in the world around her. Something was coming, or had already come, and there was nothing they could do to fight it. They were just doomed to swallow this new reality and be grateful for it? How could he say that and mean it? What was coming? She knew it was going to hurt. She remembered that pained and forced smile. He wore it once before, and Mom had died. It burned into her memories, and even now it brought the same reaction to her body. She was terrified, only she wasn't being held by a seventeen year old who was crying while Lori tugged on her pant leg and asked for her teddy. She was the seventeen year old now...who was going to die? Or...what relationship was going to die? What change would come? And why...why did he smile like that again?

– – –

Carol carried a bunch of discounted shampoos in her arms and found where they went on the shelf, numb to her entire work schedule duties currently. She was pulled off the register by Milton who wanted to "mingle", and she was in charge of cleaning up the orphan items—abandoned before they were purchased in various and incorrect places in the store. At least they made sense when they were in the wrong place—she didn't.

"Hey, Carol." Mil jogged over to her. "Chris is on one. Why don't you take your lunch break? I'll finish this."

"I'm almost done." She pushed the cocoa butter body wash-shampoo-conditioner nightmare back gently to fit the two bottles in her arms and sighed. "I hear the big boss man comes back next week."

He tensed. "Yeah, he does. He'll be in the store a lot, so you should watch out for him. I mean, like keep a good distance."

"Why? He's just some old guy, right?" She looked at him. "Well, not old, but like my dad's age."

"Yeah, but he's gonna be super busy. Don't get in his way, and the easiest way to do that is to avoid him."

"I'm not going to cause him problems."

"Trust me, you couldn't. He'll cause you problems," he confessed. "I like you, Carol. I really do, even though I don't show it and have hurt you. I am sorry for that, but trust me on this. Stay away from Ed. He isn't...friendly to the women workers."

"How do you mean?" She finished with the shampoos and met his eyes directly, seeing a history of badness with Ed. "Milton, why should I stay away from him?"

"Because it's for your best interest, all right? Trust me. I'll keep you on the register while he's in the store, but you have to be fifty steps in front of or behind him at all times, okay? He isn't a guy you want to be stuck alone with." He glanced behind him. "Look, it's your break, so go enjoy it."

"You like me?" Carol crossed her arms and watched his face turn beet red. "Why did you never tell me?"

"Anxiety mostly. I'm not...the type to initiate or end anything, hence my..."friendship" with Phillip. I wanted to ask you out, but Daryl got there first. I...didn't think you'd have a good impression of guys, so I didn't try after that party."

"Wait, you knew we had sex? Before I said I was pregnant?"

"I was upstairs when you two went into master bedroom."

She nodded her head. "Thanks for letting it be our business."

"It didn't concern me beyond you...liking him so." He shrugged a shoulder. "I accept that I missed my chance, and I won't let it happen again. Uh, not with you! I'm not trying to claim you or anything. I know you like Daryl, and he likes you, so it's cool. I've moved on."

She laughed. "Thank you. That's awesome."

"Yeah, I hope so." He chuckled nervously. "Look, it's a slow day, wanna take your break with me? Get a latte from LB? They're on sale."

She smiled. "I'd love to."

– – –

The week ran by astonishingly quick. Daryl and Caesar were working extreme overtime to try and repair an error with their products, so Carol didn't see either of them the entire week. Daryl didn't even have time to pick up his phone. She sent him vids of Clay, but he didn't open them until hours later. They remained unread until about midnight or two in the morning. He would start to reply, but she suspected he fell asleep in the middle of typing. She wanted to see him more than anybody, but there was no chance of that.

On Saturday Carol was offered a double shift. She really should not have been, but it's a locally own store, and they didn't have to follow the laws all the time. She accepted it and was worn to the bone along with Milton and Chris. They were hit like a pool in the summer heat, and it was brutal. They had to stay super late to clean the store up for Ed, and Mary bought them all dinner and promised a bonus for this cleaning and hard work. They were all too dead and exhausted to care, but whoo adulting.

Sunday rolled around—birthday Sunday—and Carol soaked in a tub to ease her ache muscles and the bruises she'd gotten rearranging the stockroom with Mary. She had put Clay beside her in his little rocker, and he played with the bubbles she blew his way now and them, giggling at them, and she smiled at him. She loved his little smile. If only it could heal her body like it healed her heart.

"Hey, kiddos." Axel called from her bedroom. "You decent?"

"I have a million bubbles. Come in."

"Hey." He opened the door and smiled at them. "So, dinner's at seven, but we'll be there by six to greet the guests."

"Who are my guests?"

"Your friends, your grandparents, Sasha, Tyreese, Sasha's baby. It's a short list, but we'll have dinner and dessert there. I know the owner. I helped him out with some legal issues, so it's practically free. Help yourself to anything you want."

"I want a pony."

"I meant food and drink wise, but I can try and find a plush pony." He smirked, and she chuckled. "Karen left her gift on your bed. She'd like you to wear it."

"Okay. What about him?"

"I left him an outfit out. It...was a premature gift I purchased. It'll fit him."

"Premature? How do you mean? Like you thought I'd be a boy?" She noted the look in his eye, and she knew then she was nowhere close in that guess. "Or...you thought you and mom would have a boy after me. You wished."

"If wishes were poppy, we'd all be dreaming." He swallowed. "Umm, I put a ring by the what Karen left out. It belonged to your mother. She wore it all the time, and it's out of date, but I know she'd want you to wear it tonight."

"Fashions by ADC." She was trying to get him to smile, but it didn't work as well as she had hoped.

"Heh! As if. Your mother was beautiful, but no sense of style. That's why she and Karen were a good match. Karen knew clothes. She still does."

"That and being neighbors for fourteen years."

"That is true." He exhaled. "I must get ready myself. Try and be upstairs by five-thirty."

"Yes, sir."

She soaked in the bath for another twenty minutes then dried off and checked out the outfit waiting for her. It was a beautiful black dress with floral lace that would delicately expose her shoulders and chest, but it would be super classy. It was sleeveless and fell just below her knee, and it came with boots. She found a card underneath the dress and opened it, finding it was the letter that had come with Dad's gift of condoms and such. She'd forgotten about it.

 _Hey, princess, it's me, Mom. You say Mama or Momo. I respond to both, so it doesn't really matter. You're calling to me, and I respond. I call it a win. At least I have the energy to come to you, and that makes me happy. I can still go to and see my little girl in all her beauty and soul. I feel...like I'm okay when it's just the three of us, and no matter how bad I actually am, it's okay. I have you and your silly old dad._

 _Okay, real talk now. Girl talk. No, women talk. I want you to know that I will never regret having you. I will never regret the decisions and person you become, because I know she will be fierce. You have the eyes and hair of me and my mother, and you will know that woman is a storm. I know her spirit and mine will live on in you. But you have to find yourself among all of that. It may seem like a tall order, and it is. Figuring yourself out is tough, baby. I don't know that I even have. I hope I have. I like who I am, who I've become and what I've made. But I won't have enough time to learn if it's the real me or temporary—you will. Find her and stick by her. If you don't, you're doing yourself a great disservice. Treat yourself well and love what you are and will become. Love yourself enough for you and for me, okay, baby?_

 _I asked your dad to give you my favorite ring. It's nothing so expensive or classy or pretty, even. It's a cheap candy machine ring with an adjustable band and a black stone. Axel "proposed" to me with it when we were kids, and I kept it. It meant more to me than the actual wedding bands we exchanged. Don't tell him I said that. Those rings were expensive! But anyway, I want you to have it. It...is a good luck charm. I wore it when I found out I was pregnant with you, and I wore it when I gave birth to you. It's been a source of strength of me, and I want it to be a source of love for you. Sweet childhood love, a parents' love and any love you add to it. I want you to have it with you or by you. And if you hate it then simply humor me tonight, please. I want to be with you, even if it's not how I want. I wore this ring for years, so part of my life force or energy or whatever has to be in it, so call me crazy, but it could be my meds._

 _So, I want you to hear this part, baby. Axel is a good man, a loving husband and father, and Karen is my very best friend. She has been with me since we were young. They love each other very much, but never how Axel and I love each other. There will come a day when...their love isn't enough, and it's okay. It'll be okay. She signed up for something heavy so young, and I want you to thank her for me. Thank her and love her and support her, please. She needs it. She's earned it, and I can't give that to her. I can't give back what I'm asking her to take over, but please...please be supportive of her in whatever path she takes in life. Her and your father. We were all too young for this, but life doesn't care about age. It gives you more than you can handle sometimes, but we'll handle it. We will overcome it and be better for it. I believe that. I really do._

The handwriting scribbles off from there, Carol wasn't able to make it out, but she could see it was about love and perhaps how much she loved Carol and Dad and Mom. It was obvious she lost her strength to hold the pen.

She smiled and set her fingertips over the scribbled words and nodded. "Okay, Mom. I'll try."

She set the letter back on her bed and removed the towel to slip into some underclothes. She waited until she was sure Clay had gone to the bathroom before she dressed him, and she put her dress on afterward, adjusting the ring on her finger while looking for earrings to match her outfit.

It was five-ten when she joined her family upstairs, asking Lori to fasten the buttons on the back of her dress, and Karen couldn't take her eyes off of her. Carol wasn't sure how she looked, but she'd done some light makeup, nail polish and earrings. She left only her mother's ring on with some bracelets. A light look. She hoped she worked it.

"You look beautiful." Karen blinked back tears. "You look just like Angie."

"I do?" She returned her smile. "Thank you. I...I tried."

"You did great." Lori swung her arm around her shoulder. "And Clay looks precious, too. Nana is gonna kidnap him, I swear."

"Probably." Karen chuckled and tried to dry her eyes. "I knew I should have gone with waterproof."

"Mom." She handed Clay to Lori and embraced her mom tightly. "I love you."

She kissed her hair. "I love you, too. I love both of my girls and my boy."

Lori poked Clay's cheek gently to get his attention, and he stared up at her with big blue eyes. "That's you. She loves you."

"I'm gone five seconds and the tears have become us." Axel came off the steps and looked over the beautiful women in his living room. He smiled and held up the camera. "Humor me. I'm old."

"You're what, forty now?" Lori nodded. "You're old, dude."

He rolled his eyes. "Just smile, please."

"I was joking. Smile, or you'll get frown lines and actually look old."

Axel took a couple pictures of them, Karen took over the camera to get pictures of him and the girls and Clay, and Carol insisted on one with of her parents. Lori tried to show Clay how to take the picture, but he wasn't old enough for that yet. So cute yet so unhelpful. She would have to show him how to use her cell. He could tap a circle. Couldn't he?

They left for the restaurant, Carol instantly found her friends waiting, and Axel took Clay so she could mingle with them. She spotted Andrea and Michonne but greeted her guests first before joining them. She was stopped only by Sasha and her baby girl.

"Oh, my God." She ran up to her and grinned widely, taking in the precious baby in her arms. "I meant to come see you, but I got so busy."

"Hey, it's all right. I was busy, too. This is my first night out since I had her in April, and yes, that was last month, but still."

"No, it's progress." Carol tucked hair behind her ear. "She's so tiny. She looks just like you." There were very small traces of her husband etched into the baby's face, but it was all Sasha, and she was lovely.

"Thank you. She's on her best behavior tonight. She's been feed and burped and probably won't wake up until I'm trying to go to bed. It's her favorite thing to do to me."

"Same for Clay. I feel like he's intentionally doing it to me to mess with my head."

She nodded in agreement. "I tell Bob that, and he thinks I'm just not getting enough sleep."

"Like you can help it."

"Exactly!"

"Hey, Sasha." Tyreese joined them with a warm smile. "Happy birthday, Carol."

"Thanks." She wasn't sure why he was here, but he was likely a package deal with Sasha. "I'm glad you're both here."

"I wanted to show off the labors of my womb," Sasha mused, carefully taking her daughter back from Carol. "He wanted a free meal."

"I wanted to check in on you, see how you were settling back in and all. Plus, I have gift cards from Christmas I'll never use, so they're yours."

"How thoughtful." She smiled at him. "I should find my friends, but enjoy the party."

Andrea and Michonne were now with Caesar and Paul, and Carol was happy to retreat back to them for safety, tackling her long lost bestie in a hug.

"Don't squeeze too tight. I'm in pain." He shuddered at her touch. "I love you, but please, please let go."

"I'm sorry." She stepped back. "What happened to you? I thought you both were dead."

"I wish I was." He groaned softly. "I don't really want to go into detail about it, because it was a huge mess at the bakery, and I... God, I don't even want to think about it. I need to distance myself from it."

"Okay, that's fine, just don't die on me."

"I won't." He pulled out a smile. "Happy birthday, Carol."

"Thanks."

"Happy birthday," came from both Andrea and Michonne who hugged her tightly, and she felt like a happy squished loaf of bread or something soft and squished.

"Thanks." She looked them over. "You both look awesome. I love the suit, Andrea. It's very stylish. Kinda sexy, too."

"Well, my dad bought it for me after I came out in some weird attempt to try and "be cool" with my sexuality, and it's not bad. It's comfortable and fitting. Plus, it works well with these heels." She posed for them and winked at the birthday girl. "I did this for you."

"Gee, thanks." She chuckled and shook her head. "Let me borrow it and then we'll talk."

"Do you want to trade now? I don't know if my hair will go with that right now, but I can try." Her curls were gelled back, and she looked like she was ready for a movie premiere in Hollywood with her sexy in maroon girlfriend Michonne.

"I'm fine with my outfit, thank you very much. Maybe for graduation, though."

"Just remind me."

She heard the door open and looked to see who was here now, her heart falling when it was only Rick and not Daryl. "Have you guys seen or heard from Daryl lately?"

"Not in days." Michonne shook her head. "And I've looked."

"Same. He's like a ghost at school, like Caesar was last week, so nope. Sorry."

"It's okay. I just need to talk to him." She rubbed her arms. "We kissed on Sunday. More than kissed."

"Whoa." Andrea grinned. "You did? Seriously? I knew it. I called it!"

"Oh, shut up." Michonne laughed her cockiness and met Carol's eyes. "What happened? How did it happen?"

"I dunno. I... I was just tired of beating around the bush."

"Bet he liked beating your bush," Andrea mused.

Carol pushed on, pink rising in her cheeks. "I just made my move, and we started to have sex, but no protection then Clay wailed the entire night. We were to exhausted to even acknowledge what this meant for our relationship."

"Wait, wait, back up." Andrea twisted her hand in a circular motion like she was rewinding a tape. "You almost had sex yet did more than kiss. What does that mean?"

"You know what it means."

"No, I seriously don't. That's why I asked." She studied her face. "What happened?"

She rubbed the back of her neck and stammered. "He just... sorta...you know. Like you and..." She huffed and closed her eyes, blurting, "He went down on me."

Michonne smirked. "I knew he was that type."

"Oh, there's a type for that?" Carol opened her eyes and arched a brow.

"Yeah, Daryl and Paul are those types. I take Caesar for some behind action, and I bet one day she likes toys." She gestured to Andrea with a suggestive grin. "And you? You like it plain old vanilla. It's adorable."

"How do you figure that?" She put her hands on her hips, offense coloring her face.

"Just for now. Calm down. The more comfortable you get with it, I'm sure you'll like more things. For now it's just vanilla, and I could be wrong. I was just making a joke out of it, to be honest, though I know I'm right on Daryl and Paul. And probably Andrea, but I know what else she likes."

"Can we not talk about that here?" Andrea was staring at the floor with red cheeks and wide eyes, speaking through her teeth. "Please?"

"You're right. We should focus on the day." She set a hand on Carol's shoulder. "Happy birthday, Carol. I'm seriously glad to be celebrating today with you." She hugged her. "You're the best sister I could have ever gotten."

"Same to you." She rubbed her back and poked Andrea in the shoulder. "I love you."

Andrea caught her finger and pulled on it. "I love you, too. Even if you embarrass me."

"Well, it's probably karma." Lori snapped a picture of them. "Like this lovely image."

"Why are you like this?" Andrea crossed her arms. "Who hurt you?"

"You hurt me when you let a volleyball smack me in the face in eighth grade."

"I wasn't even there. I had to get a filling!"

"I know. Had you been there, I wouldn't have been selected to play volleyball."

"You're scum, Callies."

"Yeah, well you're scum with a filling." She smiled sweetly.

"Eh, it's true." She shrugged a shoulder and faced their friends. "I'm going to get some drinks. You should talk to your other guests then come back and judge them with us silently."

"I should make small talk." She hummed and caught sight of the next person to enter the restaurant, smiling widely and moving to hug him without even realizing. She weaved her fingers through his soft hairs and buried her face in the crook of his neck. He smelled of soap and earth and leather. It was familiar, and she missed it. Missed him.

"Sorry I'm late." He moved loose curls from her face, smiling at her. "My boss is tryin' to kill me."

"I'm glad he didn't." She set her hand on his cheek and kissed him.

"Happy birthday," he murmured against her lips before kissing her again.

Across the room Karen smacked Axel in the gut with more force than she meant to use, he groaned and saw what made her abuse him, and he shook his head.

"What did this happen?" She pointed to her daughter and Daryl, who were two seconds from just making out in the middle of the restaurant. "When, I mean, not what."

"Last weekend, I think." He cleared his throat.

"And you didn't think to tell me?"

"Would you have cared? I thought you had other concerns right now." He saw pain flash in her eyes, and he lowered his eyes. "I'm sorry. I didn't... I didn't think it was a concern right now. You have a lot on your mind."

"She's our daughter, Axel. I always have time for her and her relationships, especially this one." She straightened her spine. "If you'll excuse me, I have to be the embarrassing mom before I see any tongue." She marched over to them to break them up.

"You should cut her some slack." Ty adjusted Clay in his arms and met Axel's eyes. "It's going to be difficult enough going forward with the promotion and this news."

"I don't handle loss well. Forgive me." He looked at his grandson. "I really don't handle it at all, but you're right. I should be happy. I earned this. She deserves this. My daughter is alive to celebrate another birthday. I have a beautiful and strong grandson. It's a good life."

"Yes, it is." Ty beamed at him. "But you look at this little face and it's hard to see otherwise."

"I know. I should bottle and market it somehow." He drank from his glass and stroked Clay's little curls. "God bless these babies." All four of them.

"He already has." Mel looped her arm through Axel's and scrunched her nose at him. "Smile more. You'll get frown lines."

"No promises."

"I see my granddaughter is getting very familiar with Daryl." She nudged him. "How are you taking that?"

"I already let Karen and Dawn handle it. I have no say in what she does with him, but I can offer some protection, which I did. Anything more is asking for too much."

"She looks just like her mother tonight." Mel's heart ached at the sight of Carol and Karen having a small fight due to the full on embarrassing mother part Karen was laying on thick. "I think that's why Greg is so upset about what happened with Daryl. He sees Dawn 2.0."

"At least Dawn was twenty when she was pregnant." He looked through his now empty glass and lowered it. "But they're both lucky. Friendship and love have saved Carol and Dawn both."

"That's true. I'm so grateful for Karen. She brought me peace and another beautiful grandbaby." She set her hand over her heart. "God sent that angel to us. I believe that. I really do." She...took to Dawn like peanut butter to bread. Dawn didn't have luck with friends, but when Karen moved in next door, they had become good buds. Through Karen's parents divorce, through ache and heartbreaks, through painting rooms and chicken poxs, through thick and thin, through Dawn's pregnancy and...final days. Karen was by her side through everything, and she made the decision to raise Dawn's baby girl as her own. She wasn't even out of her high school, but she took Carol on as her own. Lori, too. Brave, beautiful soul.

"Wasn't Dawn older than her?" Ty inquired.

"By three years." Mel bobbed her head. "Karen was a late bloomer. She made friends in college once Dawn had passed, but it never bothered her that Dawn was older. I think they're souls recognized each other and the rest was history."

"So...when you married Karen," Ty was attempting to wrap his mind around this math, "she was...seventeen? And you were...what? Twenty two?"

"Three." He stammered and shook his head instantly after that correction when wide and judgmental eyes fixed on him. "No, no, no. We lived together, yes, but not...not like that. We were friends raising Carol and then we got married when she was eighteen and officially adopted Lori. Mel and Greg had to foster her until Karen turned eighteen and we could get married legally."

"That's an interesting situation." He knew the story, but not the ages. He didn't feel better about the story.

"We loved each other," he added, "when we got married. She was—and still is—my best friend. I trust her with my life, and I wouldn't change the last seventeen years for anything. I...owe her the world. I really do. Give it to her for me, okay?"

Mel set a hand over his heart and gently tapped her palm against it. "You gave her a family, Axel. That's a lovely private world to give someone."

He smiled to himself. "God, I love you, Mel."

"I know."

He laughed and hastily wiped a tear from his eye. "God, this year has been full of...full. I feel full and... I dunno, like overwhelmed. I think I need some air."

"I'll walk with you. I think this one just dropped a bomb." Tyreese adjusted Clay on his arm and set a hand on Axel's shoulder to walk him to the door.

Mel followed them but stopped by her grandchild and second daughter, embracing them both and kissing their cheeks. "You both look lovely. I can see why." She cut a look over to where Daryl and Caesar were talking, and Karen blushed at who else was walking by them. "Good eye, ladies."

Carol laughed. "Thanks. I think so too."

"Mmm." Mel winked at Karen, who averted her eyes and acted more like the seventeen year old than Carol. "Carol, honey, your grandfather is outside. He wants to talk to you. I let him stew for a bit. I figured he could wait."

"Oh?" She blinked and went to see what he wanted.

"Mel, stop." Karen watched Carol leave the restaurant. "We haven't told them, and you're embarrassing me."

"Well, you are my child, too, so someone has to." She waved it away and ran her eyes over Karen's outfit. "It's a good time to try again, you know. You have good hips for it."

"Oh, my God, Mel." She smacked her hand to face. "Can we not?"

"Hey, I won't live forever, and I demand you all be happy. Two are there, and two are not. One will never fully be there, because his love has passed one, but you? You, I can help. You, I want to help."

"I don't need any help. I'm perfectly...wonderfully...blissfully happy." She naturally grinned at Mel. "Really, I am. He makes me...oh so happy. I... Don't worry about me. I'm taken care of."

"Give me some details."

"Wow, you never change."

"And why should I?"

"So true." Karen wrapped her arms around her and embraced her. "I love you."

"I love you too." She patted her shoulder. "Call me if you need me at any time in the coming weeks, my dear."

"I will." She rested her head on her shoulder. "You'll be on speed dial."

"Good. Now let's get you some wine and you can tell me all about the news."

"The promotion is all Axel. He can go on for hours and hours about it."

"Well, I'll be drinking, so he can have at it."

Karen laughed and guided her over to the open bar to order some wine, and Carol made her way to the parking lot to meet her grandfather. He was clear to see, and she didn't rush to close the space between them. She didn't trust he didn't have some alternative motive here, so she kept distance.

He inhaled sharply at her appearance and stepped closer. "Hello there, Carol."

"Hi." She eyed him. "What brings you here? You haven't spoken to me in months, and now all of a sudden you're here? At my birthday party?"

"It's a big day, and I wanted to be here. That's all I'll say about it."

"Okay. What did you want to speak to me about?"

"I wanted to give you this." He held out a small gift box, and she reached out to accepted it. "I won't be back."

Her hand stopped over the box, and she met his eyes, a wave of ice rushing over her. "W—what?"

"Axel made it clear I'm not welcome, and I don't approve of you and that boy. I won't stand and watch you continue to pursue this terrible choice, so this is the last time I'll see you."

She jerked her hand back. "Then leave it at this."

He closed the space between them, lifting her arm and placing the box into her hand. "Think of this as a graduation and collage entry gift. Mel picked it out, because she knows you best, and it's paid off. I'll insure for five years. It's...best in its class for safety and millage. It'll get you far."

"It's a car?"

"Navy blue. Your mother's favorite color." He cleared his throat. "Don't wreck it."

"I believe that's your job."

"Happy birthday, Carol." He kissed her forehead, she flinched, and he walked away.

She gripped the box tightly and spun around. "You think this is it? You give me a car and exit my life and it's okay?" She expected him to turn back to face her, but he kept walking. "Hey, you listen to me!"

But he didn't. He kept walking, and he never looked back. She was frustrated by that, but she would learn to let it go. She had a room full of people who loved her and wanted to be in her life, and she wasn't going to waste a second more on him. She was never enough for him, but that was okay. She was perfect in the eyes of her parents and her son, so forget him.

She pulled the keys from the box and hit the lock button, seeing a blue SUV beside her light up. She smiled at seeing her grandmother's taste all over it. Better her than him, definitely.

"Hey, you're not inside?"

She looked over and blinked in surprise. "Umm, what are you doing here?"

Paula stood a few feet away from her with her bag in her hands. "I was out shopping."

"The strip mall is two blocks over."

"Well, duh." She walked over to her. "I said was, not currently, nerd."

"So friendly."

"I'm a work in progress." She held the bag out. "Here. It's...some junk I stole from your locker freshmen year."

"Gee, thanks. Best birthday gift ever."

"Oh, it's your birthday? Happy birthday." She tucked her hands in her pockets. "I heard you were having dinner here from the bakery people who made your cake. I didn't put it together, but cool."

"Well, thanks for this, but I should get back inside." She paused. "Did...you want to come inside?"

"God, no. That's a bucket of awkward, and you don't need that. I don't need that." She laughed. "I have a date anyway."

"Oh? With who?"

"This guy my cousin knows. He's a freshmen in college, studying to be an architect, and he's pretty cute. It's...better than my normal taste. I need to branch out." She cleared her throat. "But you have fun and happy birthday. I... I just wanted to give that back to you. I graduate next week, so I won't see you again."

"Wow. Time..flies, doesn't it?"

"It does, but...you know, carpe diem." She shrugged a shoulder. "So get laid tonight and have issues walking tomorrow."

She laughed uncomfortably. "E—excuse me? What?"

"I see Daryl's truck." She pointed to it. "I put some...stuff in there he might enjoy. And you, too, of course. Do you like flavored lube? Or have you guys not done that yet?"

"Flavored...lube?"

"Yeah, you've never done that." She smirked. "It's vanilla, by the way, and I hope you like satin. I think it'll look hot on you."

"Is this a real conversation right now?"

"Yes, it is. I...want to make up for my shittiness towards you, and I know you're new to sex, so this is like my kit to sex. Lingerie, lube, condoms, nothing too spicy since you're still new to it all, but I want you to enjoy this. Don't so shy or worried. It'll feel fucking epic once you find a rhythm. Trust me. Daryl is a very physical guy, and I don't know about you, but he'll definitely be needing some TLC soon."

"I have that covered, but thanks."

"Oh, you do?" She bit her bottom lip and smiled. "Good. Treat him well, please. Don't break his heart."

"I won't."

"Good. If I find out you hurt him, I'll be back."

"I won't hurt him, Paula."

"I know. It's a habit to threaten you. I'm sorry." She turned on her heel and ran off to her bike across the street.

Carol rolled her eyes at the universe itself and headed back inside, hoping to not meet any more surprises. She set Paula's gift in the back with the keys to her new car, and someone called to her. She turned to find Lilly and Meghan coming over to her.

"Hey." She hugged her lightly. "You look amazing."

"So do you." Carol smiled a greeting at Meghan. "You look precious."

The little girl nodded and attempted to wink. "I got the goods."

Lilly snorted. "That would be Tara's doing."

"I can see." She bent down and tickled Meghan's sides. "You have all the goods. Precious goods." She grinned at her, and Meghan returned it. "I didn't know you guys would be here tonight."

"Daryl invited me. I... I leave in June, so I have so much to do the next few weeks." She drew in a deep breath and tried not to be swallowed by the pressure. "Plus the move and the school for Meg. I have so much to do."

"Wait, leave?" She looked up at her before releasing Meghan and standing. "For what? I thought you were going locally."

"I was, but I got an offer I couldn't turn down. I have two years pretty much free at ETSU, and I can work on-campus, too. I want to get moved and settled before the semester starts, and I have an aunt down there who can help me with Meghan. I have it all planned out, and I just need to get up there first. Well, first I have to graduate." She was all smiles and light laughs. "I didn't think this could happen after I got pregnant, but it did. I'm so lucky and hardworking. I had to bust my ass, but it's paid off."

"I'm so happy for you." She hugged her once more. "I wish we had more time to hang out. You seem so cool."

"You too, but I'll be back now and again to see Tara and my dad. We can set up some play dates."

"I'd like that. So would Clay."

"Awesome." She beamed and spotted where people were getting their drinks. "I'm going to get something to drink. Do you want anything?"

"No, but thank you." She leaned against the table where her gifts were piling up, sucking in air deeply and wrapping her arms around herself. Seventeen came with big changes. Some welcome, others not, and then there was the surprise Dad had in store for her. She was practically a woman, so she had to learn how to deal with this adult stuff. It was more difficult than she thought. People moving? Leaving her life entirely? Fresh wounds fading into old wounds. A chance for something real and amazing between her and Daryl...

She groaned and rubbed her temples. God, if her mother was with her tonight, let her lift the weight of these facts off her back. They weren't all bad, but they were all massive. Chances weren't small shifts in the night. They were storms and thunder, and somewhere in that mess, love and life happened. She wasn't afraid to get wet, only to be injured by debris. Who could say would debris was waiting for her?


	20. Warning Signs

**_Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot._**

 ** _A/N: I apologize for the extreme delay. I've some health issues, and some hospital stays, but I'm good now. I've been writing to finish all WIP, so enjoy and beware: T_** ** _rigger Warning At Chapter's End._**

* * *

––

The party was lovely. Axel and Karen gave a toast to their daughter, Mel spent the evening on her arm and telling her way to keep a relationship fresh and healthy—swearing these were from "past relationships" in her youth that earned her two proposals—and Clay was mostly well behaved. It was a very fancy birthday, but was nice and quiet and filled with people she was happy to see. She was happy Dad made this call, despite how unhappy she was about the secret he was keeping.

Her gifts were actually really great. There were things for her new car, a really awesome faux leather jacket, some gift cards and a few knitted items from Nana that Carol already wanted to wear, but it was too hot that for. She was thrilled with all of her gifts, less so with the car her grandfather, but she would just deal with it. She wanted a car, needed a car, and here one was at the cost of a grandparent who didn't want to waste anymore time with her. Yay.

Karen and Mel went out for drinks after saying goodbye to the birthday girl, everyone went on their own way with similar goodbyes, and Carol was eager to get home and just be alone with her boyfriend. Well, was he her boyfriend? They didn't talk about what they were. It'd been a week, and in none of his replies did he mention being in a relationship with her. Though in all of those replies, nothing made any sense. Sleep deprivation was no friend to anybody.

Axel let Carol drive the car home since there was no one else to drive it, and she had her permit. She would be fine. He hoped nobody pulled her over, because he had to stop by the store, and she would probably cry if a cop did pull her over. Dawn cried the first time she got pulled over, got her out of a ticket, and she drove like a granny ever since.

Dad took Clay with him to the store since he wanted a buddy to shop with and Lori had left with Rick after getting permission from Mom to spend an extra hour with him, so Carol just drove herself home. Very slowly. She wasn't used to driving. Sure, she had a few lessons from her parents now and then and her permit, but honestly what did that mean? Nothing to her right the fuck now. Jesus, she did not want this right now.

She parked in the garage and carried her gifts to her room, Daryl joined her twenty minutes later, and she greeted him with a nervous smile. He somewhat returned it and set the bags on her coffee table, removing his jacket and setting it on the armchair.

"I didn't have time to get you a gift," Daryl confessed. "I know you're probably waitin' for it, but I don't...have one."

"It's okay. I don't need a gift from you."

"Well, I do have one in mind, just haven't gotten around to gettin' it. Amaro's been workin' us thin. He apologizes and pays well, but... I've had no time."

"It's really fine. You came tonight, and that means...more to met than a gift." She walked over to him and laced her fingers together at the base of his neck. "You're my boyfriend, after all."

"Am I now?"

She bit her bottom lip, anxiety settling in, and she wanted to walk away and laugh it off, but she couldn't. She wasn't going to. "Aren't you?"

"I've never been a boyfriend, so I don't know." He shrugged a shoulder. "Does anything between us even change?"

"A lot tends to change."

"Like what?"

"The entire physical aspect, for one, and... Okay, that's all I know. I've never dated before either." She pursed her lips and searched his eyes. "I want to explore...everything we can be together. I don't want to shy away from anything with you. Not anymore."

"Then I guess you're my girlfriend." He smiled to the side of his mouth. "For whatever that means."

"It means that we are going to talk and be open and honest with each other. I am...okay with your past flings, and nobody else gets to kiss me or have me. You're mine, and I'm yours, completely and exclusively."

"So I can buy condoms again?"

She laughed once, humorlessly. "Seriously? That's what comes to mind first?"

"I was makin' a joke. I knew you would go there." He smirked at her. "You're adorable, and...there wasn't anybody else. Kinda...been waitin' on you. Waitin' on myself to figure that out, too."

Her expression softened, and she kissed him. "I'm sorry for the wait."

"It's fine. I'm sure we'll make up for lost time."

"I am not having sex with you," she stated. "Not right now."

"But...eventually, right?"

She rolled her eyes and stepped away from him. "You're such a stereotypical guy, you know that?"

"You didn't complain any last Sunday."

"Yes, but that was impulsive and rash. I want to be smarter about the next time we have sex, okay?"

"So there will be a next time?"

"Eventually, yes." She folded her arms and sighed. "I want more to our relationship than sex, though, so I want to build on it."

"Didn't we spend the last year doin' that?"

"No, that was building a friendship so we can support our son with respect and love. Now we can build an intimate relationship—and yes, we'll have sex—but I want to take it slow. I want to know you, Daryl. All about you, and I want you to know more about me."

"What more is there to know?"

"Seriously? I don't know your favorite color, or why you don't like your birthday, or why your dad left. People talk, but I don't want their stories. I want yours. I want...to be close to you, Daryl, in all the ways we can be before we get physically close." She reached down and laced her fingers through his. "Don't you want that too?"

He didn't say anything, his eyes low and focused on the space beyond her shoulder, and there were many emotions those shimmering gems. She couldn't read a single emotion there. They were overlapping each other and twisting together. It made her feel cold and as though she were standing there alone.

"Daryl...?" She shook his arm, fingers still intertwined, and she frowned. "Da—?"

"Look...there are things 'bout me I don't wanna talk about. It's got nothin' to do with me now or you. We're buildin' all this stuff, right?" She nodded. "It's for a future, not for the past. My past did make me who I am, but...you're also makin' me who I am. It just happens or happened, and it isn't important. I'm not keepin' anythin' from you."

"But...I want to hear about you as a kid. Did you look like Clay? Did you act like him? I mean, does he act like you did." She smiled at him. "I want all of you."

"Not that part."

"What's so bad that you—?"

He bowed his head and exhaled deeply. "Be my future," he murmured, pulling her into his arms, his lips brushing across her ear. "Just...be my future." He buried his face into her shoulder, his hands digging into her back so much that it almost hurt, and she felt so small in his grasp. He didn't say anything else, just held onto the one good thing life had given him. He would hold onto what life had made him later when Axel brought him home.

She ran her fingers through his hair, cupping the back of his neck, and she set her temple against his head. "I don't know where life will take us, Daryl Dixon, but if it allows me to stay by your side and be your future then...be mine, too." Her eyes burned, his soft hair tickling the line of her cheekbone, and she closed her eyes.

– – –

"I'll be back to pick you up for lunch." Daryl stood outside her work, still in his work uniform, using his break to come and see her before she had to clock in. He knew it would make her happy, but he didn't know how happy it would make him to see her smile like that. God, was it so simple? To...make a move and the rest follows? Hell, he made a move, and damn near a year later something became of it. She makes a move, and a week later they're together. Caesar pointed that out to him. Repeatedly.

"Aww, I'd love that." She moved hair out of her face. "I have to pick up dinner tonight when I get off, do you want to join us? Mom and Lori have plans with Nana and Rick, but we can hang out, too."

"Your dad's gonna chop my dick off."

"He is not. He's totally...mostly okay with this." She bit her bottom lip to try and contain her smile. "He bought us condoms." Sort of. Gave them to her was more like it, but Daryl didn't need to know that.

"We gonna use 'em?" He grasped the waistband of her jeans and pulled her close. "Hmm?"

"We talked about that. Keep pushing, and I'll buy a vibrator."

"Can I watch?"

"I was joking, and you're a horn dog."

"It's not... I just want you," he whispered, grateful this place had a backdoor and nobody could walk up on them. "Bad."

"I'm flattered, but...maybe we can work out a deal." She pulled his fingers out from the waistband of her jeans. "Just one...slip up before we take this building part seriously." Her lips curled upward seductively, and she felt his breathing shift. "I have to work late the next few nights, and you have those late shifts all next week, but why don't we get together at the end of the school year? In June we can spend the whole day at your place?"

He leaned down towards her. "The whole day?"

"Uh-huh."

"And you ain't gonna back out or change your mind?"

"No. I... liked last Sunday. A lot. Maybe we can do that again, but instead of fingers—"

"Oh, hey, you're here." Milton stood in the doorway, smiling a greeting at the pair. "You're early."

Carol pulled out a smile when Daryl groaned and walked off towards his car. "Yeah, I'll be in soon."

"Good. Ed's here, and we need to be...I dunno, on our best havior?" He rolled his eyes and looked her over. "You look different."

"Oh, my mom and I did some facial masks last night." She possibly scarred her baby for life with that bubble one. Oops.

"That's probably it." He gripped the handle. "Remember what I said, okay?"

"I will. I'm gonna say goodbye to my boyfriend, but I'll be right in."

He looked over to where Daryl slouched against his truck, and he chuckled. "Boyfriend?"

"Yes, we...decided to give it a go." She was radiating with giggles and smiles, and it was contagious.

"I'm happy for you. I wish you luck."

"Thanks." She waved a parting and caught up to Daryl, jumping onto him and nearly causing him to fall from the sudden weight. He held her easily, though he was still pouting about the interrupted conversation. "Don't worry. All of this will be dealt with on the first."

"Just gotta get there."

"Trust me," she pushed hair back from his face and smiled widely, "we will definitely get there. Many times in many ways."

"Carol, you've only done it one way."

"I know, but you'll show me how. I'm a quick study, and I want you to show me everything you like. I want to make you feel good, like how you've made me feel."

He smiled at her. "I've never had this conversation before."

"Good. I like firsts with you." She kissed him and planted her feet back on the ground. "I can't wait for June."

"Yeah, sure we can't bend that time—?"

"Daryl," she interrupted him sternly. "No. I want the whole day at your apartment. I want candles and time with you. I want... I want to be as sweet as it is satisfying."

"Who said anythin' about candles?"

"I did, just now."

He shook his head. "I don't like candles."

"Fine then buy me flowers."

"I already have to buy condoms and...some other things."

"I have condoms and lube."

He jolted and laughed once. "Why do you have lube?"

"You don't want to know."

"No, I really do. In fact, call me once I'm off work—"

"Stop it." She pleaded weakly. "You're making this harder. Especially after Sunday."

"All right, I'll stop, but no flowers either."

"Please?"

"I'll cook you dinner and make something I can eat off you later, but no flowers. Or candles."

"Eat off me later...?"

"Some people call it dessert."

"And if I want some?" He arched a brow, and she snickered. "Fine, you do that. I'll buy my own flowers and leave them with our son."

"Good. Now get to work and make some money." He kissed her lightly. "See you at, what? Nine?"

"Yes." She stepped back from him. "I'll see you then."

He drove off towards work, and she headed inside to clock in. She was instantly pulled into a meeting with Mary about how to act today while Ed and some new investors were here. She wanted Carol on the front register since she was great with customers, Milton would be at the beck and call of her should any customers need anything price checked or such, and Chris would be keeping the store clean. They would rotate it throughout the week, but for today that was the plan.

And it was easy enough. The customers were few and polite. Carol felt Ed watching her closely, and she dared a look at him. He was intense. He wore a slick black suit with his jet-colored locks gelled back. He was tall and burly, almost handsome in some boss type of way, but...there was something off about him. He had a stern face, very no nonsense, and he had beautiful light green eyes that pierced right through her, and she nearly shuddered. She smiled instead—one he didn't return.

She rubbed the back of her neck and greeted the next customer, Chris walked up to her, and she finished checking the customer out before speaking to him.

"Ed wants to meet you."

"Oh?" She signed off the register and bit her bottom lip, nerves tightening and tangling inside of her stomach. "Why?" He did not look pleased with her at all. God, was he going to fire her?

"Just to meet the new blood." He laughed at her reaction. "Calm down, dude. He's cool. He threw a party for us once, and he let me drink a few glasses of scotch. He's down to earth and super lax. Don't let Mary or Milton tell you otherwise."

"Okay."

"Go on. He's in the office."

She swallowed and headed towards the office, Milton was having a conversation with one of the investors, and she waved weakly at him. He looked uneasy when he realized where she was going, and she mouthed to him what was wrong, but the office door opened. She jumped and found Ed standing there. He smelled of aftershave and overwheleming spice. She had to resist covering her nose, and he moved over a bit to let her slid by.

She sat down in the wheeled chair across from him and rested her hands in her lap.

"Carol Callies." He looked over the clipboard. "This is your second job, right?"

"Yes, but I'm great with people. I've learned so much in the short time that I've been here, and if I need any improvement, I can learn."

He laughed at her, and she pressed her lips together tightly. "Why work here? I mean, why not return to your former job?"

"I dunno. I just...wanted to branch out, and I—I know Milton from school. This place um, it seems like a very relaxed and comfortable work space. I... I liked the energy I felt when I came in." That energy was nowhere now. "And I was a little desperate, to be honest."

"How?"

"I... I just had a baby." She dropped her head a bit. "He has needs, and my parents can't support themselves and my sister and me and my baby, so I had to get a job. It pays well and works well with my school schedule. It's close to home. It's just easy."

He nodded and wrote something down. "You're sixteen?"

"Uh, seventeen, actually. My birthday was last weekend."

"Oh, happy belated birthday."

"Thanks." She smiled out of habit and unconsciously tucked loose hair behind her ear.

"How's your baby?"

"A..cryer, actually. He does not like me to have a life outside him." She crossed her legs. "He's getting better, but he's only four months old, so it's to be expected. He loves my dad and company in general, but I think he misses me when I'm not there."

"You love him a lot, huh?"

"God, yes. He's... he's like my heart." Her smile softened, and she inhaled. "He's my drive. I would do anything for him."

"That's nice." He scribbled something else down and cocked his head to the side.

"Do you have any kids?" She laced her fingers together in her lap. "Or a wife?"

"I have two boys," he replied. "Ivan and Ian."

"Aww, twins?"

"Yes, my wife takes care of them while I work. She's...dedicated to our boys and her job, too. I wish there was more time for us, but life has other plans."

"Tell me about it."

He smiled at her. "I like you, Carol. I think Mary chose well."

"Thank you, sir."

"It's okay to call me Ed."

"Oh, well then thank you, Ed. I really do like it here. I love the opportunity to grow and learn. I always have."

"There's a lot of learning to be done here. Maybe I can show you some things now and then."

"That would be great."

"With school out for the summer next week, I expect you'll pick up more hours?"

"Definitely. I want Clay to have a great first everything, so I have to save up." She was so excited for Halloween and for Thanksgiving and Christmas. She couldn't wait!

"Well, we do have a semi-anual review of employees, and we give out raises or bonuses depending on work improvement and such. I'm sure you'll get something there at this rate."

"Don't get my hopes up."

His eyes shifted. "I'll try not to." He checked his watch. "Mmm, I have a few more questions for you. Is that okay?"

"Yeah, sure, ask way. I'm all yours."

A smirk crossed his lips, and he smiled. "That's good to know, Carol. Now, what schedule would suit you best in the summer?"

––

"I am so happy to see you." Carol flopped against Daryl, and he stumbled back against his truck. "Carry me. My feet are killing me."

"And mine don't?"

"Let's just order pizza for dinner."

"Axel wants meatloaf, so sorry, babe." He kissed the top of her head. "C'mon, the sooner we get done, the sooner we can lie down and make out."

She giggled and lifted her head up from his chest. "Now that sounds appealing." She pushed off him carefully and gasped. "Hey, I know what we can do on the first!"

"Aside from not leavin' my bed?"

She smacked his arm. "We can take a bath."

"Why?"

"Because it's relaxing, and you have all that stuff from the shower." She smugly grinned. "You're going to be covered in bubbles."

"Only if you're on to—"

"Carol." Milton jogged to her.

"What the fuck?" Daryl threw his hands up and got back into his truck. He'd just keep his mouth shut until they were actually alone in her room or his.

"Did I interrupt?" He noted Daryl's reaction and frowned. "I'm sorry. I just had to ask what Ed wanted."

"To talk. He's really not what you described. He's kinda sweet. He needs to work on his face, though. He always look like he's hungry or...angry. Or both." She shrugged a shoulder. "He's gonna help me learn the ropes when he comes back."

"What? No, don't do that."

"Why not? It could help me get a bonus or raise in six months. I need money, Milton. I have a child to take care of and bills at my home. I know you don't like him, but it's harsh to force that opinion off on someone else."

"You don't know him like I do. He's not a good guy. He's not sweet, trust me."

"Milton, I talked to him for an hour about his kids and wife. He really loves them, and he wants to help me. He understands my situation and can help me. Why are you trying to...intervene? I thought you trusted me."

"I do trust you, Carol, but trust me when I say he is bad news. If you're going to learn with him, be careful."

"Okay." She repressed the urge to roll her eyes. "I have to go shopping for my family, so I'll see you tomorrow, right?"

"Yeah. Have a good night."

"You too."

Daryl drove them to the nearby 24-hour store, Carol had slipped out of her work shirt, and Daryl walked behind her, studying the type of bra she was wearing. She looked back at him then she grabbed a cart and eyed him.

"What are you doing?"

"Is that a front clasp?"

She blushed and crossed her arms instantly. "Excuse me?"

"Your bra. Is it a front clasp? Looks like it."

"Dude, that isn't okay to ask." She glanced around at the people around them. "Just find out later when we're in my room."

"I'm doin' some research."

"Why? I won't wear one on the first." She thought of the items Paula had given her. "Or I'll...take it of myself."

"A striptease?"

"Look, why don't we just not talk about that date in public? What all do we need?" She pulled out her phone and checked the texts she'd gotten. "Oh, Nana says hi."

"I say hi back." He pushed the cart out of the way of other customers, and Carol followed, reading the list. "And can that be on the table?"

"I've never done anything remotely sexy before in my life. Trust me, it wouldn't be pretty." She opened the list and looked up to find the aisles they'd need.

"Well, maybe not but what's underneath is pretty sexy."

"It's not the first, Daryl." She smirked and pushed the cart down the fourth aisle.

He inhaled and wished he could make time go faster, because if he could, he would be satisfied and dehydrated with her on his chest. And that would only be the first hour. God, he couldn't stand to wait, but he would. He wanted it to be more than the first time, more than just release, and it would be. It would be soft and sweet like she originally wanted, and he would buy the candles and flowers and whatever else she wanted. He wanted to redo their first time, and he would make this one special. And if she happened to walk away sore then it was a good night.

He caught up to her in the fruit and vegetable section, wrapping his arms around her waist and judging the carrots she'd picked up.

"These are for me to snack on at work. I don't want to buy the junk we sell, because it's a rip off, and I still have baby weight to work off. Caesar has a personal gym. Think he'd let me work out there?"

"He might. Just ask."

"I'm going to. Use it in my days off, and Amaro can hang out with Clay. He's so cute with him."

"I'll bet he is." He released her waist. "If you want snacks at work, stop by the shop on your way."

"Yes, because a ten ounce steak is great for a light snack."

"We make fresh meat and fruit and cheese platters. We have fruit, most of it goes to me and Caesar since Amaro doesn't let it sit for long."

"Oh? That sounds good. Would he let me just take it for free? Or is that asking too much?"

"I'll get some for you, put it aside. It's a work perk."

"I thought those tight shirts were the work perk." She smirked at him, and he rolled his eyes. "How'd you get so fit anyway?"

"I lift a lot of boxes at the shop, move meats and adjust counters and shit all the time. I've been there for years, so it just...happened."

She nodded. "Would it be weird if I was totally down for eating something off your abs?"

He arched a brow. "Thought we weren't going to talk about the first?"

"It's not talking, just a suggestion. It just came into my head and out my mouth. I'm sorry. That's really embarassing." She set the bag of carrots back down and moved on to find an onion.

"Carol, as long you're there on the first, you can do whatever you want to me. Or off me."

"Such a romantic." She turned and kissed him, and he chuckled, brushing his forehead against hers. "How about strawberry sauce?"

"Hope you don't mind sticky."

"It doesn't bother me. Trust me, with your son, everything is sticky." She searched his eyes. "And if it gets too bad, I guess we'll wash you off. Do you like ice? I read about this thing with ice..."

"Another suggestion?"

"Maybe."

"You're gonna ruin me," he murmured, kissing the bridge of her nose.

"How so?" She didn't like the fear in her words, and she hoped he didn't hear it.

"Just in a good way, a way that...nobody else will be a good as you." He stroked her cheek. "Shit, or make me feel like this."

"Like what exactly?"

"I'll show you on the first. For now, we really ought to get goin'. We're pissin' off the old people."

"Well, that's no good." She frowned. "You haven't even kissed me yet."

"That's true." He crushed his mouth against her, feeling her wet tongue slip into his mouth, and he knew he was going to be a fucking happy corpse on June 2nd.

– – –

"Kill me, Andrea." Carol sat in the break room for her lunch, staring at the fruit bowl in front of her and hating people just a little bit more. "Seriously, if I have to laugh at one more bad joke, I'll cry."

She laughed. "Calm down. It's just...well, forever, but it'll get better. It has to."

"That's a lie, but a sweet one. I just want to go home and hug my baby and cry with him."

"Do you want me to come over tonight? We can watch old movies and eat peanut butter cookies."

"I would love that. I get off in three hours."

"I'll pick you up. Or have you passed the driving test yet?"

"I haven't started. I'm waiting till the summer. Nana's gonna stay with us for a couple weeks to teach me, and we'll do some driving and talking, maybe visit Mom. I haven't in a year now."

"That's so sweet. I'd love to come with you, bring her some fresh tulips."

"She'd love that, too. I'll let you know if we decide to go."

"Cool. I'll see you at eight."

"Thanks. I need a friend tonight, especially after what Daryl did to me. I'll tell you about it tonight, okay?"

"Should I invite Michonne?"

"No, I just wanna hang out with you. I am overloaded with people, so just you, please."

"You got it, dude."

She smiled. "I love you, Andrea. Seriously, you're... the best."

"I love you, too. I'll bring my overnight bag, and we can just talk all night."

"Thanks."

"I have to go find Amy and take her to the mall for something, but I'll see you and my boy soon, okay?"

"Okay. Bye." She hung up and exhaled. "Three more hours. It's like two more hours, pretty much. I mean, once that last hour hits... ugh."

She finished her lunch and clocked back in, Ed asked her for a favor on his way through, and she complied, following him to the stockroom. It was empty and cold, and Carol shivered. He apologized for the temperature, but when people came to rearrange the stock, the cold felt better than the heat. She understood and rubbed her arms, letting him guide her to the back towards the shelves.

"I just need you to pull down last year's forth of july boxes. They're labelled with flags."

"Why me? Isn't Chris better suited?"

"Well, it's a close fit, and you have to actually climb onto the shelves."

"Climb...onto them?" Her eyes widened. "Um, I don't think that's a good idea."

"I built them myself, Carol. They'll hold you, and me if I were up there too. They hold hundreds and hundreds of pounds worth of stock every year. Don't worry. I would never put you in harm's way." He searched her eyes. "Don't you trust me?"

"Yeah, I do." She cleared her throat. "Just...all the way up?"

"All the way up. I'll hold the ladder for you."

"Okay."

She climbed up the ladder and found the boxes he meant way in the back. She braced herself and climbed onto the shelf, feeling it was solid beneath her. She brought all the boxes to the front and made sure they had flags. She asked how many were supposed to be up there and confirmed the number once more. She got back onto the ladder and was about to climb down when he stopped her.

"It's mostly plush and pillows, I believe, so just toss them down. I'll help you with the lights and garden items."

"Cool."

Ed marked off the boxes of plush and pillows from his clipboard, looking up to see how many were left, and his eyes fell onto the perfectly round and sculpted ass above him. She had slipped up and worn jeans again, he went easy on her, because good God, they were skinny jeans, and he could see everything. The dip between her thighs, the curve of her ass, the line of her panties. God, those jeans were a miracle. She was delicious.

"Okay, the rest just needs handed down." She wiped her brow with her hand and rubbed it on her jeans.

"I'm right here. Just let 'em drop." He set the clipboard down and caught the remaining boxes, stacking them carefully along the wall, and he told her to be careful coming down, eyeing the seventh step with a slight smirk.

She minded her footing and felt something catch. She looked down to see what it was and lost her balance. She screamed and felt someone catch her, a grunt echoed by her ear, something warm and firm held her chest, and she panted, heart pounding in her ears. She was shaking.

"You okay?" Ed strained, her full body weight knocking the wind out of him.

"I—I can't feel my legs." She couldn't even feel anything in her body. She was shaking and panting and limp. Tingling shock waves danced through her body, washing over her senses, and she gulped. If he weren't holding her up right now, she would be on the floor. God, that was every awful misstep nightmare rolled into one.

"Here, I have you. It's okay. You're on solid ground."

"I know. I know that." Her eyes were watering, and she felt embarrassed. "God, I'm so embarrassed."

"Why don't you take an extra fifteen? Go sit in the break room and catch your breath?"

She nodded. "Thank you."

He released her from his grip but kept a hand on the small of her back. "Can you make it there?"

"Yeah, I'll be fine." She ambled to the break room, feeling sick to her stomach and pausing for a moment. She set her hands over her breasts and squeezed them. Weird. It seemed like Ed had his hands...but it didn't feel the same. She shook her head and slipped into the break room to bury her face in her hands and recover.

A round ass and still firm breasts? Ed closed his hand into a fist. _God did Mary know how to pick 'em._ If he focused enough, he could feel her ass right on his dick. Soon, that's exactly where it would be.

––

By the time she got off, she felt better and was thrilled to see Andrea. She had snacks and dinner for them, and they slipped into the house through Carol's personal door. Clay was upstairs with Mom and Dad, and she checked on him and kissed him goodnight. Mom said she'd watch him so they could have a good time, and Carol hugged and kissed them both before joining Andrea.

"I have fried rice, chow mien and egg rolls." She handed over an egg roll. "Plus snacks and other goodies."

"Thank you. I am hungry for real food."

"And your fruit was what? Plastic?"

"Unfulfilling." She bit into the still hot egg roll and quickly brought her hand to her mouth to fan it in an attempt to cool it down.

"I also brought drinks." She tossed a bottle of water at her, and Carol downed it to spare her tongue. "So, what happened with Daryl? Michonne told me you two were dating, and it's cool you didn't tell me. I'm sure you had reasons for it."

"I didn't even tell Michonne." She lowered the bottle of water. "How did she find out?"

"Through Lori."

"Oh. She saw us the other night on the couch."

"Doing what?" Andrea smiled. "Something naughty?"

"Not that night." She smiled a little. "We were just talking about our relationship, as boyfriend and girlfriend, and she overheard us. I told her not to tell anyone, but she can't keep her mouth shut. I had a plan to tell you guys at the BBQ that were officially dating, not just..screwing around, but you cancelled."

"Not cancelled. Rescheduled. Dad threw out his back and can't leave his bed,and he refuses to let anyone use the grill but him. It's on the 3rd of June. We'll...add somethin' cool, like fireworks. I dunno. We'll make it up." She pulled chopsticks out of the bag and snapped them apart. "So, what did Daryl do?"

"Okay, so...we have a date night planned, and we were talking about what we were going to do. Then we started making out, and it was fine. More than fine."

"But?" She paused in opening the noodles. "Wait, is this a PG 13 moment or R?"

"It's me talking to my best friend about how Daryl left a huge ass hickey between my breast." She frowned. "It looks awful, and all of my shirts a low cut enough to see it. It looks like a bruise, and I told him not to. I could have killed him."

"A...hickey? Seriously?"

"Fine, he did that instead of what I asked him to do to me."

"What'd you ask?"

"Okay, so the Sunday before my birthday, you know he went down on me, and..." Her cheeks reddened. "He...fingered me."

"He did what now?" She nearly chocked on her noodles. "Oh, God, those don't swallow easy." She coughed and drank from her bottle. "Prepare me next time, okay? Jesus."

"I'm sorry. I thought you knew it'd get dirty."

"Yes, but not like that. He fingered your ass? Like...in the middle of that?" Carol nodded. "Wow, he really has been around."

"That's not the point here."

"Then what is? You asked him to finger you again?" She caught Carol's blush worsening. "You're such a fiend."

"It felt really nice, okay? And it wasn't...umm, for his finger either."

She shuddered. "I'm sorry. The imagine played in my head."

"Well, you're probably wrong, because it wasn't for that either." She set the egg roll down. "Ever since I got pregnant, I've wanted...him. Like rough and hard want him, but I didn't tell him. I couldn't tell him. I ignored it and ignored it, but then he does that, and I want that again. Only more of it and him."

"I get that. Michonne's killing me. I really want to have sex with her, but she keeps putting it off. She'll touch me and kiss me and do everything else but that. I haven't even seen her naked, Carol. Just slightly. It sucks."

"Oh, my God, same! Daryl was practically dressed when we messed around. I saw nothing."

"Assholes, right? Just take your top off and fuck me," she sarcastically and bitterly mused.

"I'm tempted to just...try it out myself." She peeked at Andrea. "I never have before, but... I want to know more about myself and what I like, and Daryl won't help me."

"It's your body. If you don't know what you like then how else will any other guy you sleep with?"

She thought that over and nodded. "You're right."

"I just want to take that step with Michonne. I love her, you know? I want to be with her completely, but I'm worried now she doesn't want that. We've done stuff, but nothing major. What if I'm just...not good enough to take that step with?"

"You know she doesn't think that. She loves you, too. She probably isn't ready."

"Carol, I love you, but she starts it. She starts it and teases me, but that's it. It's like she's a sadist, feeding off of getting me hot and bothered and walking away."

"Have you talked to her about it?"

"I've tried, but it's...a touchy subject. If it does badly, we could break up."

"And if it does well, you two will...you know."

"Okay, we cannot have this conversation with you knows when you want Daryl to eat your ass."

"Wow, thanks. I have no regrets in confiding in you." She picked at her egg roll. "It's the truth, but it hurts. I want Daryl to basically pound me into the ground, but I can't say sex. So mature."

She snorted a laugh. "Dude, that's awesome. I love that whole sentence. I didn't know you had it in you."

A faint smile danced on her lips. "Would he do it if I asked?"

"I think he'd try to grow a second dick if you asked. He loves you, Carol. I can see it, even if he isn't ready to acknowledge or say it. You just have to trust him and tell him what you want. Communication is key in a relationship, you know this."

"I did communicate. He marked me instead." She pulled down her nightshirt to show off the hickey.

"Well, he's a eighteen. He probably almost jizzed his pants when you said it. If I was a boy, I'd never last ten minutes alone with Michonne."

"That's weirdly sweet."

"Is it? I felt weird—just weird."

"Yeah, a little bit." She finished the egg roll off and dug out the fried rice, licking grease from her lips. "Is oral hard?"

"I have no idea. I've looked it up, seen it on TV, but I have no idea. Why?"

"Just in case. I...have no idea what Daryl wants me to do to him on our date night. I thought I'd ask just to be sure." She picked up the plastic spoon and stirred the rice, ripping open a packet of soy sauce to drizzle over top her first bite. "Maybe a sucker approach?"

"Just talk to him about it. It's really the only way to get answers." She offered her some noodles, and she accepted it. "Okay, so here's hoping we both get some this summer."

"I will eat to that."

"Hopefully so will Michonne."

She busted out laughing an covered her mouth to keep peas and rice from spewing onto the bed, and Andrea laughed at her reaction. It was nice to hang out with friends and gossip about their partners. It'd be fucking funny as shit if Michonne and Daryl were doing the same thing. God, she could only imagine.

– – –

Carol marked the two jugs of bleach as waste and placed tape over their tops. Someone had decided to throw random pills and junk to the bleach bottles and leave them open around the store to see if it would cause any reaction. They have footage of the kids, but Ed wanted to take care of it. She hoped he did, because this was dumb and wasteful. She wanted to punch one of them right in the gut. She was finishing up her sophomore year tomorrow, and she had to deal with this tonight? Punks.

Milton called to her, and she looked over. He had a couple grey shipment containers holding the last of their truck from this morning, and she smiled and nodded to let him know she'd help. Chris was working with a new girl today who began training last week or something, but she couldn't start start until today. She was fourteen and would mostly work bagging and price checks and such. She was a sweet kid, though Carol had no idea why they hired her. It was their business, she supposed.

"What do we have? Antacids and toothbrushes. Great." She pulled the trolly down to the aisle eight and pulled out a handful of...laxatives. Well, they were down here, too, so.

"How are you feeling today? You look chipper."

"Our last official day of school is tomorrow." She beamed. Then it was the 1st with Daryl. "I can pick up more hours and see Clay without having to pass out two hours later for school. Ugh, I can't wait for summer. My first with Clay and Daryl."

"What about your friends?"

"A cruise, Lori and Rick are volunteering at some camp for little kids to help with their college resume, and Caesar has to visit relatives in Greece for the entire month of June. So it's my baby and my boyfriend. Maybe my parents if Mom doesn't get a summer job."

"I'm here if you wanna hang out. I mean, we're off on the same days, and I know a water park that has spots for little kids."

"That would be great. Maybe not with Clay, because I worry about his healthy and exposure right now, but with me and Daryl? Or just us? That'd be nice. We could get drinks and plan our futures." She found the right dosage for the laxatives and pushed them into the shelf carefully.

"Yeah." He caught her smile and nodded. "Oh, and guess what?"

"What?" She reached into the container for more pills, fighting through toothbrushes galore.

"Ed leaves next week. He has to deal with a crisis in some other store. I don't know which, but I hear it's pretty bad."

"Whoa, what happened?"

"I didn't hear, but it involves a female worker. She's a minor, so it's pretty huge."

"Oh, God. I hope she's all right."

"Me, too. I don't see how Ed could help the matter. He likely created the issue."

"I won't even go there." She pulled out bottles of chew-able antacids. "I'll be right down here if you want to have a pleasant conversation that doesn't involve trashing our boss."

"Your loss then."

––

Karen caught Axel in the middle of changing Clay on her clean island surface, but she didn't let it bother her. She would clean it down later, but she did need to speak to him. He asked her to wait and help her apply some of that herb lotion to a rash on Clay's booty.

"What rash?" She leaned over his arm.

"It's fading really quick thanks to whatever Maggie gave Carol, but I want to be sure it's gone."

"That litle pink patch?" She waved a fingertip over the area.

"Yes, I'll hold him still—"

Karen jumped back immediately at Clay pissing, Axel simply heaved a sigh and tried to ignore the warmth on his shoulder, and Karen tried not to laugh. She had a feeling this happened a lot to him. She wouldn't rub it in.

"Good shot." He lifted his legs, swiping a small glop of lotion and rubbed the very cold lotion onto the pink patch. Clay fussed and tried to kick him, but Axel wouldn't let him. "He does not like that it's cold."

"I don't like that I have baby piss on my counter." She removed her jacket and set it on the hook in the corner. "God, do you remember how bad Carol was?"

"Bad? What do you mean?" He was happy to see the diaper was free of wetness and strapped the little stinker into it.

"You would bathe her and get her all clean and dry and leave her on the bed to drain the tub then she'd pee on our bed. Every time for a year."

"I repressed that. I sat in it once."

She snickered. "Sorry."

"No, laugh. Someone should." He removed his shirt and was glad it hadn't soaked through to his t-shirt. "You are trouble, you know that? Just like your mother. And father. I bet Daryl did it for fun."

"They were babies. It wasn't fun." She picked Clay up off the counter and kissed his cheeks. "He smells good."

"Mel dropped off more shampoo and baby wash." He folded the shirt and tossed it onto the counter. "She's kept me company since Carol's birthday. It's...nice to have her. Reminds me of when Dawn was here. Mel was always around for her and for me, especially for Carol once she was here."

"I remember. I was around, too."

"You were." He chuckled. "You...and Dawn used to talk about me all the time behind my back. She told me once."

"It was girl talk."

"You didn't think I was good for her, though, right? At one point, you told her that." He searched her face and saw the truth trying to hide there.

She closed her eyes for a moment to think of how to corrected that then met his eyes with a thoughtful sigh. "I was thirteen, Axel. I thought...I felt like you took her away from me. She was my best friend for years then you come along, and suddenly...our plans didn't mean anything, because you had a car. You had money. You had great parents and good social standing. You had everything, and I was just...a stupid kid."

"She never thought of you like that."

"I know that now, but I was a teenager. It hurt me. It felt like you were stealing her, and I... I was alone. I hated it, so I blamed it on you and hated you. For years I hated you, but then you asked her to marry you. I knew it was real. I knew I was in the wrong. I came around more to know you and learned to love you. Then she got pregnant...then sick...then she died. I hated myself for wasting that time, but I loved you for allowing me to be there for Carol. I learned to forgive myself through her, and I rebuilt what I busted with Dawn before she died."

"Those were the best memories she had, you know. You and Carol and her. Her girls. God, she would have loved Lori, too."

She swallowed. "I feel like I betrayed her," she confessed.

"How?"

She looked over her grandson's face, tears brimming in her eyes, and she walked over to his pin, placing him down inside carefully.

"Karen, how?" He walked over to her. "I asked, so I should feel—"

"Don't try and take the blame here." She faced him. "Yes, we got married as friends. We got married, because Carol and Lori needed a family. You had good social standing, great parents, and I needed you to be able to adopt Lori. I used you. I've been using you this whole time. I asked first."

"Karen, are you...are you insane? I'm using you. For Carol, for Lori... I'm causing issues for you, because I can't let go of the past. I'm afraid to."

"Axel, I had your in-laws foster Lori until I was legally old enough to marry you and adopt her. I used your credit, your savings, your life... I used it all, and I know we agreed to do this together. I know we agreed to wait until they were eighteen, but I can't. I feel like I'm betraying her and you."

"Love isn't a betrayal, trust me. I'm not hurting over that, only that I put implications that didn't need to be put out there. I only loved her, and you loved her, too. That love raised two beautiful and thoughtful and amazing girls. That love has not run out, only grown. It's okay. You made no promises to me."

"But I made promises to me! About you! I wouldn't leave you alone. After Dawn and your parents, I promised to never leave you alone, but I am. I am, and it feels like I'm losing a friend all over again."

He embraced her tightly. "We have two daughters and a grandchild. You aren't going to lose me by loving him, and you aren't going to lose them either. Nothing will be lost. We've been together for twenty years. We'll be together for twenty more."

She dug her nails into his back and shuddered, bawling her eyes out onto his chest. It was a complicated situation, but it was theirs.

––

 _Karen watched Carol and Lori play together in the pin, Mel and Greg were upstairs with Axel, discussing funeral arrangments, and Karen couldn't breathe. She was holding onto the edge of the pin for dear life, because if she let go, if she accepted the reality around her, she would burst and fade away. Surely she would, because this couldn't be reality. Dawn dead...three months after her baby...four months after her dad's neighbor left Lori to rot..._

 _She collapsed onto the floor and wailed, Carol and Lori stopped playing and moved over to the pin where she was, trying to reach her and console her. She looked at them through the tears in her eyes and saw such love. She could have sworn she saw Dawn looking back at her through Carol's eyes, and she let herself wail. She let herself mourn and cry and ache. She was a child, just like them, and she needed to grieve. They all did._

 _Axel came down when he heard her crying and pulled her off the floor and into his arms. He carried her over to the couch and sat down, she held onto him for dear life, and he let her. He couldn't stand the plans to bury his wife any longer. He couldn't stand the dry eyes of her father or the tears of her mother. Or the bleeding heart in his chest. He couldn't stand. Not any longer._

 _Hours had passed, the sun had faded, and the housekeeper checked in on the girls. Karen was staring at the ceiling from Axel's lap, sniffling and sobbing softly, and he stared off into space, completely unaware of the world around him. He was numb, the world was numb, and feeling was so far away._

 _Her lips parted, the saliva sticky and thick in her mouth, and she looked up at Axel now. "I lost my baby."_

 _He shuddered, his eyes shimmering with tears, and he looked down at her. "You..."_

" _...lost my baby," she murmured again, weakly, softly, choking on the very words._

" _Karen, I'm so sorry." He set a hand on her cheek, and she gripped it with both of hers. "I am so sorry."_

 _She wasn't sorry. She deserved it. She didn't get pregnant by mistake or because she honestly wanted a baby. She was stupid and young and hated herself for this. She wanted a baby, because Dawn had Carol. She wanted to relate this new stage in Dawn's life and build a stronger relationship around it, but she lost her friend and her baby. A baby she made with a stranger for no other purpose than to show it off to her best friend, mother of a precious ltitle two year old who deserved better._

" _I still want a baby, but not my baby," she whispered, looking over at Lori. "I want her so bad, Axel, but I can't... I can't have her."_

" _Mel said she'd look after her. She'll...keep her word."_

" _I know she will, but I want to look after her, raise her, protect her. I found her, Axel. When I was all alone in my dad's house, crying...I found her. That means something. She's meant to be mine. I can do right by her, better than how I... how my body..." She sat up and covered her mouth with her hand, whimpering and shaking, and he set a hand on her shoulder._

" _Karen, I know it's difficult, but she isn't yours. You're just a kid. You can't raise her alone."_

 _She lowered her hand, shaky breaths escaping through the lips, and she gripped the seat of the couch. "You could raise her."_

" _Karen, I can't even look at my own daughter, let alone at Lauren. I... I can't raise a stranger's child. I have to look after my kid and myself right now. I can't do that. You ask too much. I know you just lost your baby, and Lauren seems like a great replacement, but she isn't. There are no replacements in this world. There are fillers, and honestly, you both deserve better than that."_

" _It's Lori, you asshole." She stood up and glared at him. "Lori! Not Lauren, not Lacey, not Lilly—Lori! She is precious and tiny and trusts me. She is the only good thing I have left. My dad is off screwing around, and my mom didn't even care that I got pregnant in the first place! I have nobody that loves me, but her. You don't know what that feels like. You have parents and in-laws and a child who adores you. I have nothing!"_

" _You don't know anything about my life, little girl, so fuck off!" He lunged at her, and she shoved him back against the couch. "You're childish and immature! You don't know anything about how adult life works. You can't raise a child. You can't even raise yourself! You seriously went out and fucked some random guy two days after you lost your baby. So classy. You and that girl should be kept miles away from each other while you learn how to be a decent human being! God, you make me sick. I can't believe I ever offered to help you with her. You are ungrateful and spoiled. You know nothing!"_

 _She inhaled deeply. "No, that's you, Axel. I'm not ungrateful or spoiled. I have to remind my mom to buy food so I can eat. I have to remind my dad that it's his weekend and pray he doesn't just throw me out again and say nah. I have to... I have to steal my own birth certificate so that I could get a job and support myself. I thought for some stupid ass reason having a baby would be a good idea so that Dawn and I could raise our kids together, but I lost that baby. And I had one friend who was my shelter away from all this, and now she's gone. She's gone, and my mistakes come back to haunt me. That guy I fucked? Well, I just wanted to feel something, and it was fuck a guy or jump off a bridge. Do you really think now I made the wrong choice?"_

 _That sobered his rage, and he saw the small kid in front of him. She had swollen eyes, messy hair, clothes that were worn and didn't fit her, and she was too tiny. Especially for seventeen. "God, Karen, I didn't mean—"_

" _It's not okay, but it can be." She looked over at the girls watching them closely and wiped the fresh tears that fell away. "You can make it be okay."_

" _Karen, I can't adopted her. Yes, I have a great paying job and the social standing for whatever that means, but I just lost my wife. My mental state would be their biggest weapon."_

" _Then marry me, and that won't matter." She met his eyes. "Sounds crazy, I know, but listen."_

" _Listen to what? My marriage to a seventeen year old? Are you insane? I'll be put in jail, not to mention likely to never see my child again."_

" _I turn eighteen in a few months. It'll be legal. We're friends, right? We can do this. We can help each other heal, and it's not real. By law, yes, but not to us. We're just friends raising two kids and mourning together. I won't have to live in that shithole any longer, and you don't have to worry about Carol being alone while you grieve. I'm good with her, you know that. And Lori? Lori is a sweetpea. We can do this. We can. Please, please, just think it over."_

" _I will, but it's a no. I only want to be bound to Angela. She's my soul mate. I can't just marry her best friend two months from now. It's distasteful."_

" _Then Lori will eventually be swept back into the system to be used and abused, I'll suffer through my parents passing me off to the other, and you'll what? Cry every waking second of your life and hope it all gets better? You can't be alone, Axel. It's your biggest weakness. You can't be alone, and I can't stand it any longer. You need someone to be there with you, I need a home, Carol needs stability, and Lori needs a loving family. We're a loving family. We're messed up and mourning, but in five years? We'll be laughing and happy. We'll have two beautiful seven year olds, I'll have my degree, and you'll be killin' it at your job. We'll be a family that we need right now. It's not crazy."_

" _I need to think about it. I love you, Karen, but please, please don't push this. Let me think."_

" _Fine, I will, but...don't think of it as hurting or dishonoring Dawn—think of it as preserving what pieces of her we have and building a family with it. She would love that."_

 _He closed the space between them and set a hand on the back of her head, hugging her tightly. "I'm going to run you a bath, leave out some of her clothes for you, and I want you to get some sleep. You'll stay with me tonight."_

" _It's not like I'll be missed."_

" _Oh, you'll be missed, just look at those babies girls over there. They miss you already."_

 _She peeked over at them his chest and smiled, closing her eyes to and to pray. These girls needed them, and they needed each other. Dawn brought them together and loved them and would want them to use that love to create, not destroy. He had to see that. He had to..._

– – –

Karen lied in bed with Clay beside her, he was napping away, and she couldn't take her eyes off of him. He was like a human quartz rose, and she was grateful he was there with her. Snoozing away and drooling onto her bedspread, but Axel did the same thing. Or he used to. They stopped sharing a bed a long time ago out of respect for her relationship. Funny, it took them so long to be able to sleep in the same bed—he woke up so many time thinking she was Dawn, and she woke up scared some rando dude had climbed into bed with her—but it took only seconds to be comfortable enough to understand why space was needed. They had grown up.

Axel entered the room with a cup of earl grey, setting it on the nightstand and moving around to crouch down beside Clay's side of the bed. "You used to do this with the girls when I worked late nights."

"Which was every night." The memories of her and the girls always brought a smile to her face, a lightness to her heart. "When you finally worked out a better schedule to be home, it was weird."

"Yes, it was. I'd gotten used to sleeping with Dawn. Sorry for all the time I held you while I slept."

"Don't be. It was nice to be held. I felt loved and surrounded by family when you did that. It's a good memory."

He rested his chin over his stacked hands on the mattress. "Everything's going to change when they become juniors next year. It may tear them apart."

"We won't let it tear anyone apart. We have so many choices ahead of us. We'll be careful, all of us together, and we'll be a new type of family. It'll be great and full of love."

He found her smile painting itself on his mouth, and he chuckled. "I suppose we will."

"I wish you could find love like us." She reached out, and he held her hand, lifting his chin up. "I know how you feel for Dawn, but...I wish you had someone like I have Tyreese."

"I'll be fine, Karen. I'm too busy with my job and my grandson, our daughters. I have plenty of love."

"But it's not the same."

"It's enough."

She squeezed his hand and somberly smiled at him. "You're the best friend I could ever have married, you know that, right?"

"Same to you." He kissed her hand. "But it's time to stop playing pretend. Our girls are almost grown, we can't keep covering your absences at night, and Tyreese deserves every inch of you. Not the half he's getting. The girls will understand."

"I love you, and I'm glad that I got to experience twenty years of my life with you. You helped me grow up and find love, find a family and be a mother like I never had. You brought me so much more than I thought you could when I asked you to marry me, and I am so thankful." She stroked his chin with her thumb, still holding his hand. "If friends could be soulmates, you would be mine."

His eyes burned, and he had to laugh. "This isn't goodbye. We'll have dinners and holidays. You'll have babies and a wedding, and our girls will do the same. We are bound through them, and this will simply be another page in our lives." He inhaled to try and cover the thickness in his voice. "I owe you this entire life that I have now, Karen. You...didn't just propose a radical idea. You...gave me exactly what I needed, and you brought me peace. I could never have healed without you, never have raised Carol as I have without you, and if I ever made you feel like you were in Dawn's shadow, I apologize. You weren't. You...were too bright and too amazing to ever be in her shadow."

"Don't make me cry again. I've been crying all week, damn it."

"We have a lot to make up for, and you have a chance for that. Run with it. We'll be fine. Your happiness doesn't demand a darkness, doesn't demand our family to fall apart—we'll expand and grow together as we always have."

"But your promotion..."

"I have time." He smiled. "Drink your tea. He just...pooped."

"How did you know?" She snuffled.

"Because of that little wince he just gave, and he's starting to wake up." He sighed. "Let's hope it's solid."

She smirked. "Sure, I'll hope on that."

"You're so cruel."

"Sometimes, I am."

He shook his head and picked Clay up carefully. "Drink your tea, kid."

"Okay, old man." She smirked and rolled her eyes. "But bring him back. I need something to cuddle."

"I'll bring you a puppy then."

"Axel."

"Fine, I'll be back." He rubbed Clay's stomach. "No more shooters, okay?"

He burbled at him, looking discomforted from the full diaper, and he pulled on his lips lightly. Well, he tried. It was mostly the area around.

"Remind me to buy a waterproof apron."

"Okay." She snuffled and sipped her tea, looking him over. "Hey?"

"Yes?"

"I love you." She gripped the cup. "Both of you."

"We love you, too. Now drink that. It helps."

"Mel gave you a shit ton, right?"

"Yes, she did." He chuckled. "But who doesn't love earl gray?"

"So true." She waved to Clay. "Bye, baby boy."

He looked at her and smiled around his fist.

"Oh, you'll smile for her, but it's open season on me?" He rolled his eyes. "This is why I like girls."

"Oh, hush, you love him."

"Yeah, but it's true. I have more experience with girls, though."

"Well, get over it, Gramps. You have one more day of this, and I'll take over."

"Thank God for that." He shuffled down the hall towards the stairs. He really needed to keep diapers up here. It wasn't a long walk, but the smell... What did Carol feed this kid when he wasn't looking?

– – –

"All right." Carol set the flatten shipment containers down so they lined up with the others, sliding them out of the way, but the wheel caught, and she frowned. "Huh?"

"Loose screw."

She looked over her shoulder at Christ, who smiled at her, and she turned to face him. "Loose screw?"

"Yeah. This floor is covered with 'em." He bent down and picked up the long screw from underneath the wheel. "Ta-da."

"Thanks." She accepted it from him and placed it on the shelf. "Isn't that dangerous, though? What if someone falls? Or steps on one?"

"Workmen's comp." He smirked.

"Seriously?"

"Nah, they're mostly stuck under the shelves and carts." He nudged her elbow. "If you fall near the waste shelf, be super careful. Long and sharp ass nails are scattered under it. I tripped last year trying to pull down some Easter plush, and it went through my side."

"What? Show me."

He untucked his shirt and revealed the small pink scar. "Mary tried to take me to the hospital, but I'm studying to be a doctor, so I handled it."

"Eeek. That looks like it hurt."

"Like a motherfucker." He tucked his shirt back in and smirked. "Be careful is all I'm saying. And if you need any medical attention, come find me. We can play."

"We can play?"

"We can." He leaned closer. "We'll be on the clocking making money while I slowly patch you up. That's play."

"Good point." She caught his smile. "I knew we would get along."

"We have a lot in common," he agreed. "And...more still..." He swallowed and averted his eyes.

"Chris?" She set a hand on his arm. "Are you okay?"

"No," he admitted, not meeting her eyes. "But...we all have to do certain things to survive. Once I do, I'll be fine then."

"That's a crock."

"It's all I have."

She opened her mouth to speak when Milton called for help over the PA system, Carol rubbed his arm and hurried out to help him, and Chris heard someone enter behind her. He clenched his jaw and didn't turn around.

––

Daryl heard the bell ring, he looked up from stocking the sauces and found Merle at the door, and he smiled, standing up, leaving the box on the floor. He greeted him with that same smile, but Merle looked a bit distracted.

"Hey, you okay?" Daryl searched his face. "You look stressed."

"Yeah, just some issues with the trailer, nothin' I can't handle." He inhaled deeply. "You busy?"

"Nah, slows down at night."

He nodded. "How's the boy doin'?"

"Like a four month old. You should come and see him. Carol and I were gonna come out and see you a couple weekends ago, but you didn't pick up when I called. Had to change our plans. Didn't figure you'd want us over uninvited."

"Figured right." He smirked. "I'll come by this weekend to see y'all. Last day before summer, right?"

"Right."

Merle narrowed his eyes at how Daryl's expression fell, and he sucked his teeth. "What's that face for?"

"What face?" The you ruined my sex plans two weeks in the making face? Because he owned that fucking face right now.

"That one." He poked his forehead. "What plans did you already have, little brother?"

"Me and Carol are datin' now." He couldn't help the smile that crossed his lips and reflected in his eyes. "We have a date Saturday."

"Oh." He blinked, stunned but...he nodded and laughed. "Good on you. I knew she'd stick."

"Tssh, I bet."

"I did. Why do you think I bothered to get to know her?"

"I dunno. You wanted to get under my skin, like always."

"Well, that, too." He smirked. "Just be sure the condom is on this time."

"Yeah, definitely, all of 'em."

Merle chuckled, a glimmer in his eyes that was read of pure mischief, and Daryl was tempted to ask him why that was. "Don't break the girl now. Axel might actually kill you."

"Trust me, Carol's the one—"

"Mr. Dixon." Amaro stepped out of the back office, adjusting the apron he wore. "I thought I heard your voice."

Daryl turned to face him. "He just stopped by to check on me is all."

"It's fine. He's sober this time." He smiled widely. "It's good to see you. You look healthy. Sober. It's nice."

"Yeah, thanks." He spoke through clenched teeth, annoyance dripping down his face and taking with it any happiness and amusement his conversation with Daryl brought. "What'd you want?"

"I just need Daryl's help in the back. We have...shipment issues right now, and my back isn't what it used to be. I'll watch the front. Go help Caesar, okay?"

"Sure." He picked up the box and headed to the back. "See you later, Merle. I'll call."

"I'll answer." His eyes fixed on Amaro. "The hell you want?"

"I heard about the campground. How are you holdin' you? You okay?"

"It'll pass. They always do."

"I'm not so sure. I've invested in it, and so have a few other business owners. I mean, I feel guilty. I didn't know that land—"

"It'll pass," Merle assured him. "I gotta go now. Have fun at the counter."

"Merle, I didn't mean to offend you. I do care about you and especially Dary—"

"He isn't your kin," Merle snapped. "He isn't your problem or anythin' you need to worry about. I got his back, and that's enough. You're smiles and charity will only last so long."

Amaro set his jaw, smile vanished from his face, and he put his hands on his hips. "Look, Merle. I have no intention of stepping out of Daryl's life unlike you and your father. He needs a stable male figure in his life, and I didn't decide for it to be me. It just happened. I know you're not thrilled about it, but I love that boy. He is a second son to me, and I will ensure he and Caesar both have all the opportunities I had. I mean no disrespect, but he is my family, too. I love him and anyone he cares for—I care for.

"So when I invest in him, it's his future and his potential, not his past. I want the best for him and for Carol and their baby. I want him embrace the man he is and better himself every damn day. You want that to, so just accepted that we are on the same side. And if you need me, just ask. I don't hate you or look down you. We all start somewhere and all end up in the same way. Details. They don't mean much to me when I see a good man. Like Daryl. Like you. I don't do hand outs. I expect hard work and good attitudes. If you want or need anything better than... than your job, let me know. I have connections."

He rolled his eyes. "We ain't the same. You best remember that, rich boy."

"You think we're not? We were both abandoned by people we love, raising family and overcoming odds. I say we have a lot in common. We both are men who love deeply, even if we can't show it, and I know—I know—you will find your passion. I know it. People like you thrive against odds. Don't prove me wrong here, Merle."

"There ain't nothin' to prove."

The door opened, a young couple came inside, and Amaro greeted them with a smile, seeing Merle cut out the side door. He sighed and rushed around the counter to assist them, asking what caught their eye, and he hoped some of that did get through to Merle. He was a good man with a dark past, but that didn't mean his future would be as dark.

––

"We're closed." Carol jumped up at the locking of the front doors. "Yes. And summer is here! Whoo!" She laughed and set her feet back on the ground.

"Summer school, whoo." Christ groaned. "I flunked the fuck out of history. I don't see why I need to learn it. We were assholes, we conquered people and stole their shit. We're still assholes, we still attempt to conquer people and steal their shit. There. The whole of humanity."

Milton and Carol laughed.

"Dude, there's some important bits you might need." Milton tucked the keys into his pocket. "Like last one to the back room has to mop."

Carol laughed as they cut around the counter to rush to the back, picking up her basket of go backs. She spent a good forty minutes trying to find where they went, hearing the boys lightly arguing over a do over, and she squealed when they bustled by with the broom and mop. She had to dodge them the second time and groaned, calling after them. She hoped that her next baby and Clay did not act like that. Good God, she would smother them.

She put away the last item in her basket and took it back to the front, placing it into the holder and collecting the trash. Chris went to clean the bathrooms with music and gloves, and Milton was going to clean the break room. Carol wished them both luck and headed into the backroom to throw the trash into the compactor. She stepped back and slammed the door shut, locking it and turning to head back to the front. She was all done and ready to clock out. She had wonderful weekend plans. One glorious day with her boyfriend then an entire day with her baby and no studying or anything to ruin it. Thank you, God.

She heard something rattle down in the room and looked down the aisle towards the medicine bays. "Guys, it wasn't funny last night, and it isn't funny tonight." She rolled her eyes and looked forward, gasping and tripping backwards at the sight of the boss in front of her.

"Sorry." He laughed at her reaction. "I—I didn't know you where in here. I heard you just now, but...not sooner."

"No, no, it's cool. I... I love heart attacks." She gripped her stomach. "And stomach cramps. It's cool."

"I didn't meant do that to you."

"I...um, thought you left." She met his eyes. "Like, hours ago."

"I came back a few minutes ago to get some paper work for the...incident at my moving company. Young girl is pregnant, and it's quite a situation. I'm sure you understand."

"Um, I suppose I should understand, but I don't know the situation." She cleared her throat. "And I have to get home. My dad has been with Clay all day, and I know he needs a break." And she needed to shave herself as naked as a dolphin and bath. She wanted to be clean and fresh for tomorrow. Also she really liked her new body wash. It smelled like raspberry heaven.

"How is your boy? Going without anything? If so, I can help."

"No, thanks. Daryl and I support our son very well. He wants for nothing." She felt more insulted than thankful for his suggestion.

"Are you sure?" He stepped closer. "I can prove a lot of...items for him...and for you."

"Umm, that's nice and everything, but again I don't need anything. My son doesn't either." She found herself trapped by him and the compacter. "If you'll excuse me."

"I think I've excused you enough."

"What?" She scoffed. "I have to get home. You have no right to keep me here. I—"

"You have no right to look so damn tasty," he cut her off, invading her personals space and kissing her neck. She stumbled backwards in an attempt to escape, but he only wrapped his arms around her waist. She struggled against him, feeling his hands slipping into the waistband of her jeans, and she tried to scream but he kissed her.

She cried out against his mouth and pushed on his chest, but he was stronger than her, certainly bigger, and he was forcing her body into his. She couldn't think. She couldn't do anything but smack his chest and kick, but it wasn't enough. It wasn't doing anything. God, what was happening? What the hell was happening? No, please, no, no!

He slammed her against the compacter, she hit the back of her head and felt dizzy, and he pinned her legs against the wall. He ran his hands down to her waistline and pulled her work shirt up, tearing the material with a box cutter, trying to grab her breasts, but she pushed on his chest, still dizzy and a bit queasy but still fighting.

"Keep fighting. It just makes me hotter." He gripped her crotch through her jeans, she whimpered and scratched at his neck, and he chuckled. "You all always do that, but it never gets old." He caught her hand from his neck, she cried out at the pressure he applied, and tears filled her eyes.

"Please, stop." She pushed at his hand in between her thighs. "Stop it!"

"God, keep screaming." He removed his hand to push his erection against her, his hand closing around her mouth as he ground against her. "Tell me that boy has this length." He chuckled darkly into her ear, hot breath on her neck, and she cringed, trying to find something to make him stop, but there was nothing nearby that would do it. Diapers and toilet paper. There was nothing here!

"That other cunt got pregnant on me, so we'll have to avoid that here." He grasped the box cutter from beside the them, she screamed against his palm and her mouth opened wide enough to feel the edge of his palm. She widened it more and bit down hard, he hissed and smacked her across the face. She didn't have time to react before he grabbed her ponytail and threw her onto the floor, her chin clipping on the cement, and she tried to stand back up, but a hand slammed onto her spine, his legs overlapping hers. "Keep squirmin', little girl. Just let me get inside you first."

She scratched at the smooth floor, trying to get some type of traction to get away, but there was nothing. She squirmed to try and shake him off and felt something slice through her the small of her back. She yelped and felt blood sliding down her hip, air brushing across the top of her ass. "MILTON!" She dug her nails into the cement. "CHRIS!"

"It's just us, girl." He kissed the back of her neck and unzipped his jeans. "Just you try not to come."

She felt something drip onto her back—lube—and she cried. "MILTON!" She scratched the floor and wept. "Please..."

"Shh." He tugged her jeans down further. "You'll be smilin' soon."

She smacked a fist into the ground and screamed as loudly as she could, dust blowing back onto her face, sticking to her bloody chin, and she could feel him lining her hips up with his. Her body trembled, and she wanted to scream so loud the earth shook and shattered. God, why was there nothing?!

She was about to scream again when she noticed something in the corner of her eye under the waste cart. She cried at the sight of it and grabbed it quickly, he saw her scrambling for something and tried to stop her, but she stabbed his hand with the long screw. He cried out now, and she scurried to her feet, her pants sliding down her thighs somewhat, her stupidly long work shirt covering her like a dress.

"You little cunt." He made to stand up.

"No!" She grabbed the bleach from the waste table and smacked him in the face with it, peeling the tape off and splashing him right in the eyes.

He screamed now, falling back and covering his eyes. "Fuck, fuck, fuck—FUCK!"

"You bastard!" She tossed the empty bottle at him and reached for something else when someone grabbed her. "No! Let go of me! Let go of me!" She elbowed them in the rib and heard a familiar grunt. "M—Milton?" She turned around and found him there, mop ready to use a weapon, and she cried. "Milton."

"Oh, my God." He looked at her and Ed and removed his jacket. "Here." He draped it over her and pulled her back away from Ed carefully, pulling out his phone to call the cops. He gently caught her chin to look it over, grasping her hand as she blindly reached for it, and he held it tightly. "Hey, look at me. Look at me."

Her eyes met his, her lips quivering as tears rolled over them. "He tried... He tried to..."

"I know, but it's over. You got him." He turned back to Ed who was curled up and howling in pain from the bleach in his eyes. "Yes, my boss just attacked my friend. He tried to rape her..."


	21. Wounds That Scar

**_Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot._**

––

Milton spoke with the officer as Carol was getting her wounds cleaned, Officer Benson spoke with her about the assault and gave her a jacket and some sweats to wear. Carol assured her no rape occurred, but they still needed her clothes because of the blood. She changed and was now being tended to by a very friendly female EMT, and she shuddered.

"Oh, is that cold?" She removed the cotton ball from her chin.

"No." She rubbed her eye.

"It's fine." She tossed the cotton ball into the trash. "We're done, sweetheart."

"What the hell?" A familiar voice called, body weaving through the crowd.

She jumped off the back of the ambulance and ran over to him, hugging him tightly and crying again.

"Carol?" He noticed she wasn't in the same out as before, and he could smell... Was that lube? He frowned and pulled her away from him to look at her. He saw the bruising on her cheek, the cut on her chin, and he stared. "What the hell?" It was a whisper, a puff of breath escaping his lips, and his eyes burned.

"He tried..." She shuddered and embraced him again, this time Daryl held her so close and so tight she thought they might never come apart. "He tried to rape me," she sobbed against his chest. "I... I couldn't stop him... I thought... I tried so hard. I fought..."

Daryl's eyes burned, and he held her closer, his breathing increasing with every word, and he saw red. He saw red, and he was about to beat the life out of whoever the fuck did this to her. He was going to fucking destroy them. He hurt her. He abused her. He was going to fucking die.

"I stopped him," she continued, digging her nails into his back. "I stopped him."

Milton approached them pair. "He didn't...finish," he said softly. "Or he didn't fully start. He beat her...cut her jeans and almost... but he didn't. She fought him off, blinded him."

"He who?" Daryl commanded.

It was then the cops escorted Ed out of the building. The EMT had to deal with his eyes immediately, and there was the issue of his chemical burns to his penis. He was now being lead to an ambulance to be taken the hospital for proper treatment, and while his eyes were covered, he seemed to know where they were and smirked in their direction.

"You fucker!" Daryl shoved Carol aside softly and lunged, but Milton and Carol both grabbed him. "I'll kill you, you piece of shit!"

"Daryl, stop. Don't!" Milton pulled on his arm. "He'll get a trial. Stop."

"Please, don't." Carol held his waist. "Don't acknowledge him."

"Hey, hey, bro, stop." Christ ran over and pushed on his chest. "Let him go. He'll get his. He's done this before. A fourteen year old is pregnant with his kid. He will get his and rot. Trust me. Trust me."

He groaned and shoved himself away from them, Milton and Chris exchanged a look in case he tried to run by them, and Carol just stood there, small and pale, watching him. "Can you go? Did they say?" He was asking Carol.

She nodded. "They took my statement and clothes. Benson will...stop by the house tomorrow."

"Good." He softened his voice and held his hand out. "C'mon."

She hesitated for a moment then hugged Milton tightly, he smiled a little, and Chris gripped his shoulder. She released him and hugged Chris, who patted her back and whispered into her ear a secret no one knew. She held him even more closely, and he released her, nodding a goodbye.

She took Daryl's hand and curled into his side, he kissed her temple and whispered softly into her hair, guiding her away from this nightmare and towards home. He never once let go of her hand, not even when they entered the house and found Karen and Axel waiting for them, but he did let go when she ran towards her parents, crying.

She told them what happened, Karen held her so close, and Axel shattered the glass of water he brought for her. Daryl sat in the doorway to the basement with Clay in his arms to keep himself calm, and Lori laced her fingers through Carol's and silently sobbed. It was a silent moment in the house, and there would be much recovery needed. They didn't know how she had the strength to talk about it, but she had to. And she would keep having to. Milton mentioned a trial? Other girls? God, this wouldn't end. Not quickly enough, anyway.

Carol slept with Karen and Lori that night, Axel and Daryl were discussing what to do about the trial and how to contain it as best they could, and at midnight Andrea and Michonne came pounding on the door. This attack was on the eleven o' clock news, Axel had to ask them to leave, but they were stubborn. They wanted to see her, and he didn't have the strength to fight. He let them stay in Carol's room for the night. She needed the rest. He just hoped it wasn't full of nightmares. Sleeping pills did that to her already, so after this? God damn.

He poured himself a glass of whiskey, handing one to Daryl, and Daryl eyed it. "It's a one time only thing." He drained it and refilled it. "I can't believe this is real."

"I want him dead," Daryl blurted. "I want him fuckin' dead, and I don't give a shit about justice."

"I hear that." He looked over the liquid shining in his class. "But we can't be the judge, jury and executioners. He'll get his. We'll stand by her. He didn't... he didn't..." He closed his eyes and gulped.

"But he tried. He hurt her. He... He fuckin' hurt her." He slammed the glass down. "I made a promise that nobody was ever gonna hurt her, and he did. He did, and it wasn't even the physical shit that's gonna scar."

"I thought I had a plan for everything that could happen to my girls, and I do. I suppose I never thought I would have to use them." He lowered the cup. "Christ, how is this happening?"

"How is she ever gonna..." He smacked himself in the head. "Fuck."

"I hope those are separate."

"They are." Agonized blue eyes settled on his face, and tears began to well up there. "I can't... I can't be here for her."

"Of course you can."

"What if I remind her of it? What if I do somethin' or say somethin' that reminds of her this? I mean, shit, I'm her boyfriend. I... I'm the best one to...sent her into flashbacks. Or worse. I can't do that to her. I can't...hurt her, too."

"And you won't. Just calm down." He walked around the island and set a hand between his shoulder blades. "She is going to need you and your strength. If you love her at all then you'll be there for her. If you aren't, I will never let you around her again, and I have lawyers who can keep you away from that boy in there. It's a high cost, but so is the damage of you walking away after this. I offer no second chances, remember that."

"If she looks at me like..." Like how he used to look at his own father—scared, nervous, waiting for the next blow—he would die. He didn't want to trigger her. He couldn't be a trigger. He couldn't stand to be.

"Get some sleep. Have breakfast with us, and then we'll see what this Benson has to say tomorrow."

"Sleep?"

"Try." He patted his back. "Just try. It's all any of us can do."

He scoffed under his breath and walked over to his son, sitting down beside him and watching him. It was the only peace he could find right now, but it had to be enough. He would make it be enough until Benson arrived. Until then. Until then.

– – –

The morning was awful, Carol woke up puking and panicking. Andrea and Michonne tried to console her, but she wouldn't leave the bathroom. She locked the door, and all they heard was water. For two hours straight she was in the shower, and when Lori tested the water downstairs, it was ice cold on its hottest setting. And when she finally came down in Karen's clothes with wet hair, empty eyes and pale skin, she didn't want to be touched by anyone but Karen. She shrank up by her side and stared off into space.

Andrea and Michonne stuck around to keep Clay company, Lori cancelled her plans with Rick for the next week, and soon Benson was knocking on their door. Michonne, Lori, Daryl and Andrea sat on the steps to listen, Clay squirming in his dad's lap for freedom, and Benson spoke directly to Carol and her parents. She informed them of the girls who instantly came forward and of the trial the DA was pushing for. Ed was a rich man, but they had caught him in the act. They had other victims and possibly a fetus. The DA wanted to move quickly, to keep Ed from regaining any strength in this shock wave, and they had it scheduled for next Monday.

"Are you okay with that?" Benson looked over the young girl's unmoving face. "I know it's soon, and I know it's a lot to ask for you to relive it so soon, but we have to act now. We're hopeful on the judge, and our DA is good at what he does. Any defense Ed or his lawyer try to build will be questioned and crumble under those questions. I assure you."

She met her eyes. "Will he be in the courtroom?"

"He will be."

She nodded. "Good."

"Good?" Karen's head snapped to the left to look at her daughter.

"He tried to rape me, and I want him to know he didn't. I want him to know how I felt, and I want him to know he didn't ruin me. He doesn't get to do that." She wasn't blinking as tears bunched up in her eyes. "I'm not afraid of him. I'm not."

"I believe you." Benson smiled tenderly at the girl and held her hand out for Carol, who accepted it after a moment's pause. "You're a survivor, Carol. I can see it. Nobody will ever take that from you."

She inhaled deeply, shuddering, nodding her head.

"I'll prep you for the trial on Sunday. Until then get some rest and try to eat." She squeezed her hand. "You have my number. Call me if you need me. Any time, sweet pea. Any time."

"Thank you."

She stood up and gestured to the door with her head at her parents, Carol stood up and hugged the older woman, and Benson rubbed her back. "Don't shut them out. That's how you really win."

Carol smiled and headed upstairs, Daryl went after her, and Benson spoke with Karen and Axel by the door.

"I know this is a difficult time, but I know a therapist who would be benefit in her recovery." She handed over the card of Denise Cloyd. "She's great with trauma victims and survivors. And the sooner Carol sees her, the better. Don't push her into deciding. Let her...take her time with deciding to go or not."

"Thank you." Karen accepted the card. "So...this trial? What are the odds here?"

"He's a rich white guy in the South," Axel spat. "You know the odds."

"Despite that, when a 14 year old sits on the stand, visibly pregnant, it does a lot to a jury." She crossed her arms. "There are other girls—ranging in age from 15 to 19—and they all have stories to tell. Especially Sara Wells."

"What happened with her?" Karen thought that name sounded familiar.

"She comitted suicide two years ago. She was one of his victims, and we have evidence to prove his abuse."

"Oh, my God." Karen covered her mouth, remembering the day Sasha told her about the seventeen year old from her class that had jumped off a bridge in May. That was why. Oh, God. Ed spoke at her funeral. That fucker!

"If that's not enough then damn the jurors and damn the system." Axel wrapped an arm around Karen's waist.

Benson excused herself, Karen had to look into the therapist, and Axel poured himself another drink, calling Mel before Mel called him. The girls put on some toons for Clay and waited. He had a feeling they would be doing a lot of that.

Daryl found Carol curled up on her bed, legs crossed, arms wrapped around herself, shaking. He grabbed a spare blanket and wrapped it around her, meeting her eyes once and trying to smile encouragingly at her.

"We were supposd to be at your apartment," she whispered, tears once more in her eyes, "having sex and making memories and being together in every way."

"Shh." He shook his head.

"We were supposed to have strawberry sauce—"

"It doesn't matter. There's... It don't matter."

"It does matter. I wanted it. I wanted you. I could barely stand it, and now..." She squeezed her eyes shut. "It's not all him I see... It's flashes mostly. I don't... I can't face it, Daryl. I can't, and I have to. For that little girl, for myself. But I can't."

"You will. I know it's hard, but once it's over, it's over."

"But it won't be." Her lips pressed her together, rolling them inward and releasing as a bitter smile crossed them. "You...can't even look at me, not really, and my parents, my friends, the school... It'll never be over. And when they look at me like that...I'll remember exactly why I'm getting those looks, and—"

"Look we got months before we see those guys again, and you'll get better. It'll be okay."

She opened her eyes. "Then have sex with me."

He laughed outright at that, thinking she was joking, and he frowned at her stern look in her eyes. "No."

"I'm not broken, and I have condoms, so—"

"No!" he cut her off. "We ain't gonna do that. You're not ready, and I'm not gonna hurt you. I know it's not the same as...if he'd done it all the way, but it's still similar. I won't do that."

"You mean me? You won't do me?"

"And it's not because I don't want you or think you're damaged."

"I wasn't thinking that you thought that, but now I am. Do you think I'm damaged now? That I'm not as good and clean as I was before?"

"No! I think you need time to heal and get over the anger—which I don't deserve to have thrown at me like this."

"Get out."

"I'm not leavin' my son."

"What, do you think I can't take care of him now? That I'll hurt him somehow? Or neglect him?"

"No, I think I need to be here for my son, because his mother needs support, and he should be aware he's supported to. Okay? You want to have it out then go ahead. Yell at me, blame me, fuckin' hit me—I don't care. I'm not leavin' your side. Because that's who I want to be, so I'm here. Deal with it."

She set her jaw and exhaled. "I think we should—"

"No, you don't get to dump me over this. Space, I'll give you, but not... not that, please."

She couldn't smile at that endearing comment, but she could finish. "Have cupcakes."

"C..cupcakes?"

"I feel empty, Daryl. Like...empty in a way where I know there are things inside of me—feelings, thoughts, guts—but I can't find them. I don't feel connected to my body, and I'm scared that I won't win this trial. They have to push it to next week just so we have a chance. I have cuts on my body, my torso and legs are bruised, and that's not enough. That's not enough, and I can't handle that not being enough. So I want to eat a big ass cupcake and hold my son and be still."

"Okay."

"Is that okay?"

"It's more than okay." He wanted to hold her, but he didn't. "I'll be right back."

She watched him leave and thought she should have been able to breathe easier, but she couldn't breathe at all. Funny she thought Ed cut her back, not her throat...

– – –

Benson was true to her word and prepped Carol alone the courtroom that Sunday. Carol got to meet the others girls that same day, and she didn't know how to feel. Karen was by her side through all of it, and Carol wanted to stand alone, but she couldn't, and that was okay.

The youngest girl was Lizzie Samuels, 14, and five months pregnant. She didn't even know what sex was when Ed came after her. It was different than Carol. He would sit her on his lap and keep her attentions with tech until it came uncomfortable for her. He did that for three months before raping her in his office. He did that for seven months. He would have continued, but he was arrested. He told Lizzie she was his girl, and he would take care of his girl as long as she was good. He threatened to kill her family if she was bad or told or misbehaved. Benson said he had been grooming her.

And not just her. He had a younger girl who he had been molesting since she was ten. His niece on his brother's wife's side. She was fifteen now. She just complied to him out of habit, knowing that if she didn't, he would hurt her anyway, and then her dad and her mom. She's had four abortions in two years. He put her on birth control and started teaching her other ways to please him. She didn't see how it was wrong, just that it was what it was. She had empty eyes...

Michelle was a year younger than Carol. She was awkward and clumsy, mute as well. She knew Ed through her dad's partnership with him. He started as a friend, just hanging out with her and being very nice. Then he would touch her more and more and then in areas she knew he shouldn't, but they were friends. He learned how to talk to her. He cared. They were friends. Even when she was bleeding and asked him to stop, he promised it would be over, and they would have ice cream. They were...very good friends. She couldn't stop shaking, so it was hard for the interpreter to follow, but she was brave. She was very brave.

As for the oldest girl who came forward, Tessa. She was nineteen. She didn't want anything to do with this case at first. Ed had abused her for two years, but he paid for her college and her car. He paid for her apartment too. She was struggling all her life, and at first he just took. She fought, and he took, but once she stopped just enough to still arouse him, he gave. Money, food, opportunities. He beat her within an inch of her life the day before she was to fly to New York to start over, and she was just going to leave. She was the only child to a waitress that Ed fucked on the side, so who cared what happened to her. But she cared about what happened to them. If she had spoken up, Sara would be alive. Lizzie would be a normal high schooler. Molly wouldn't have such twisted views. And a boy wouldn't have almost lost his mother. For them, she testified. For them.

Benson sat them all down and ran through possible tactics this scumbag attorney would use, advising them on tips to stay in control, to stay on script, to not let him break their resolve. Carol couldn't let go of her mother's hand; how was she doing to do this? Honestly?

"He tried to break you," Benson remarked. "He tried to make you his tools, but he didn't. You being here is proof you aren't his. He has no control over you. No matter how much he believes he does. Don't let him inside your head. Don't let his eyes or his stance intimidate you. You are the one with the power here. You control his fate. He owes you for everything he's taken from you, not the other way around. You owe him nothing. Don't forget that, all right?"

Carol inhaled and nodded to herself, gripping her mother's hand tightly, and Karen brought her hand to her lips and kissed it. Carol smiled and steeled her resolve. Tomorrow. It would all be over tomorrow. She hoped.

Tessa called to Carol, Karen went ahead to start the car and call Axel to let them know they were coming home. Carol greeted with her a forced smile, and Tessa pulled her over to the side.

"I heard about what happened. You blinded him?"

"I—I did." She nodded.

"Good." She inhaled. "You're so lucky."

She blinked and frowned, her lips parting in unspoken words before managing, "E—excuse me?"

"He didn't rape you. You're lucky. I wish it had been that simple for Lizzie."

"So, I should have endured what Lizzie did and vice versa?"

"No, I'm not saying that. I just... I just think you weaken the case." She laced her fingers together. "If the others girls weren't so scared, there'd be no doubts. I know he'd go down for it, but...we have five victims and an attempt. One of the victims is dead, so it's four."

"My pain and trauma is less than yours and theirs, because what? I was just passing through his list?" She stared over the girl's shoulder, eyes emptying out at that thought. Did she really deserve to stand there and cry? Or stand by these true survivors and pretend to be one?

"Sorta. I mean, you didn't feel it like we did. It... it's indescribable what it feels like, and there's blood sometimes. Sometimes the body betrays you... makes you wonder if it's really wrong for him to being doing this if the body..." She lowered her eyes. "He had me for two years. I'm in intensive therapy, and I know better than to say this. I do, but I want him locked up. Not for me or you—but for Sara and Molly and Lizzie. For the girls who can't speak up. And I worry your incident...weakens our cases and strengthens his."

"He tried to rape me, too. I only fought back."

"And we didn't? I broke my arm fighting back. I broke teeth fighting back, but it did nothing. He dropped me off with his dentist friend who fixed my teeth and felt me up when I was out of it. Do you know what that's like? To be...passed around? Like it's not really your body anymore. It's theirs, and you just have to take it..."

"I'm sorry for what happened to you, and maybe we aren't entirely on even ground in regards to the level of assault, but he came after us with the same intentions. I just got lucky." She turned on her heel and walked away.

––

They were called to the stand by the DA and Ed's lawyer one by one, the families of the survivors sat in silent and in tears—in anger—listening to them speak and sign the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. As a show of support, they held hands on the pews, fingers laced together, grips tight. Carol held onto to Lizzie and prayed silently for her. They were all trying to gather strength from each other—from their roots and their loved ones—knowing the man who assaulted them watched with white eyes at the sound of them walking and speaking. White eyes that should have been covered for medical purposed but weren't.

The lab tech offered a rendition of what happened to Sara, having samples of the girl's blood and Ed's semen present in both her body and the clothes she left folded on the bed with her suicide note. There was so much damage done to her body from his repeated assaults and beatings. The tech spared no details of what her body endured, and all the while a picture of the once happy teenager smiled on the screen beside her.

Ed's lawyer was brutal. He...asked over and over why they didn't tell. If the sex wasn't consensual, if these marks and scars were caused by Ed, if they had such tears and trauma, if they had truly attempted to fight this trusted friend, this faithful husband, this devoted father, this charitable soul then why didn't they speak? He made it a point to mention all the good Ed had done in this community, all the schools he'd help, all the homeless he'd fed. All the good and altruistic behaviors of a man now blinded by a schoolgirl who got a little jumpy and a lotta jealous.

Carol tried to say that wasn't how it happened, but he ignored her. He painted a different scene, one where Carol came onto him—she already had a child and liked to play around, he said. Carol made moves, and he tried to turn her down, but she snapped. She tried to assault him. The jury didn't buy it, but he mentioned their conversation from the office, how Carol said she would love to be his. He made her confirm she said it, and when she tried to argue it wasn't worded that way, he finished his line of questioning and nobody cared that she had more to say.

It only seemed to sink lower and lower from there. The results from Lizzie's test on the baby proved it wasn't Ed's. She was in tears trying to explain what happened, what he did, and that asshole lawyer turned it all around her. Her dad wasn't paying enough attention to her, but his good friend Ed loved kids. They hung out and had laughs, and Lizzie warped it in her mind. She made it all up, and he had records to show she was getting help for that sort of delusion. He even had a doctor come to the stand and confirm his story. Lizzie ran out of the courtroom, Tessa went after her, and so did Benson.

Molly was a knife in the back. She completely changed her story on the stand, smiling and waving to her dear uncle, and it felt like air had fled the room. She even hugged him and told him to feel better. The jury thought it was cute. In the middle of a serial rape trail, they thought this rapist was cute.

Michelle was the only one the lawyer struggled with. He couldn't play off her shaky words or panic. He had to go through the interpreter to even speak to her, and he floundered. He only asked her a few questions before turning her over to the DA for questioning. He seemed uncomfortable with her silence, which was good for Tessa. Somewhat.

He ran her through the mud for accepting Ed's money and gifts. She tried to explain, but he made it into a charity case. She snapped and told him some painfully brutal details of the first few assaults, he just watched her silently before asking her if he did that to her why accept this gift? She didn't comment, and he pushed even further, asking why she let co sign on her apartment. She said nothing for a long time, and just before he said he had no further questions, she answered.

"I was raped and beaten and passed around for so long...that I wanted something out of it. Justice doesn't come to people like me. I'm poor. I'm considered white trash. I don't get justice, but he could get a car, a home I could rent out to friends for extra cash while I went to school to become someone who protects people like me. I couldn't save those girls from Ed, but I can do everything in my power to build a system that can protect them." She didn't break eye contact from him, he almost smirked, and she looked over at Carol. "Protect all of us."

"Hmm. No further questions."

––

"How are you holding up?" Axel handed her a bottle of water. They needed to leave the courtroom for a moment while some doctor or another spoke.

"I don't know. Somewhere between throwing up and committing a murder."

"Huh, guess we do feel the same." He smiled softly at her. "But seriously."

"I know." She crossed her legs and peeked at him. "Are we going to be okay? As a family, I mean."

"Well, I don't know. Karen's distraught. Mel...can't be here, or she'll kill Ed and play it off as senility. Lori's kinda hoping this is all a bad dream. Clay's cool as cucumber, and Daryl's...right up there with Mel."

"And you?"

"I want him dead for trying to hurt you. I want to rip his guts out and choke him with them for every cut and bruise on your body. I want him off this planet." He exhaled deeply, though his hands were fists. "I've never hated another living being more."

"I don't hate him. I don't want to think about him after this, so no hate."

"How's that coming?"

"I fucking want to destroy him." Her eyes filled with tears. "It's going so bad, Dad. I don't think he'll get a year at this rate."

"Carol." He wrapped an arm around her shoulders as she cried softly against her palm. "My baby."

"Carol." This was a different voice, a familiar voice, and it caught her attention immediately. "Mr. Callies."

"I'm sorry. Who are you?" Axel didn't want strangers running up to them for shits and giggles. If you weren't family or Benson, you could fuck off.

"This is Flo," Carol answered, swallowing hard and lifting her head. "Amaro's assistant."

She attempted to smile but it fell as tears prickled up in her eyes. "And wife of Ed..."

"What?" Carol's voice was a whisper, and she shrank back into her dad's side.

She nodded slowly. "My words exactly."

"You're married to that bastard?" Axel asked.

"With heavy issues and a pending divorce since last year." She wrapped her arms around her chest. "I thought he was simply having an affair. God, I wish he were to spare you all from this. If I had known..."

"He has two sons..." Carol stood up and met her eyes. "You have two sons!"

"They're not his biologically. He... I had them with a boyfriend then met Ed a few years later. He doesn't acknowledge my boys unless he needs us for family photo ops." She shook her head. "I tried to contact you once the news came out, but... I didn't have the courage."

"And now you do?"

"No, now I don't care about courage or strength. I care about you and those girls. I care that you're all right or will be." She wiped tears from her eyes, sucking in air deeply. "I also came to submit some evidence of Ed and Molly."

"What? How do you have evidence?" Carol demanded. "Did you know? If you knew—"

"I found it in the office when I cleaned it up. It's in my family's home, so the detectives didn't look there. I submitted it to Benson, and Ed's lawyer knows, but he can't fight it. It's video footage from when she was about twelve. I couldn't... watch after I saw what he was doing. I had to help get that thing off the streets." She rubbed her arms. "My mother was right about him, but...I wanted someone to love me. What a fool, eh?"

"Even monsters have their moments." Benson approached the trio. "They're ready now. It was...quick after the tape."

"Let's go then." Carol gripped Flo's hand tightly. "You won't be alone this way."

She smiled and clenched her hand affectionately. "Thank you."

"Trust me, thank you." Axel kissed the back of Carol's head and followed them into the courtroom.

They entered the courtroom, Carol sat beside Daryl and gripped his hand for support, and they waited with baited breathe as the judge began to speak. Carol closed her eyes and for a moment heard nothing. White noise like dancing pastel lights flashed in her mind, clogging her ears, and then suddenly those light brightened and brightened and were gone. Vanished into the air, the screen before her revealed as the sentence of 56 years with no chance of parole was read off by the juror.

It was a strange sort of celebration in the courtroom—people were laughing, crying, cheering, some fell over and screamed with joy, some people were crying out of shock and denial. Carol felt numb to the reactions, seeing the other girls in the same stance as her, and she knew one day she could celebrate. It would be joyful and full of laughter and kisses and hugs, but right now it was quiet.

Although at home Mel and Caesar and Amaro were waiting for them with Rick, Paul, Michonne's parents, Andrea's parents and a hella stock of food and snacks. It was no BBQ, but Allen had brought the grill and was ready to fire it up on the front lawn. It was a celebration of life and accomplishments, a mourning for those lost and for those still hiding, but they needed it. Carol could see they needed it. She would smile for them, because today was for them. Tomorrow was hers.

Carol pulled her mom aside from her conversation with the other moms as politely as possible and asked about the card Benson left.

"It's for a therapist. Denise Clody." She dug it out of the junk drawer. "I can call for you."

"No, I want to." She accepted it and smiled at her mom. "Thank you."

"You're a brave, beautiful young woman who saved my entire life, so let me thank you." Karen kissed her cheek. "Heal in your own time. I learned that the hard way, so please...take that advice."

"I will, Mom."

She left the party and headed down to her bedroom, pulling her phone out of pocket and seeing messages from people she barely knew on her messenger and social media. She ignored it and dialed the number exactly. Summer wouldn't begin for her until she felt something again. Ed was locked away, but so were her emotions. She refused to let him take those from her—to take anything from her—so she pressed call and waited for a voice on the other end.


	22. Blue Isn't A Summer Shade

_**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**_

––

It had been one and half months since the trial. Carol had three appointments a week with Denise. Michonne and Andrea were off on their cruise, despite desperately trying to stay to be with her, but Carol was fine. She wasn't entirely fine at the time of them leaving, but she was getting. She was happy there were going to make awesome summer memories, and she was going to too.

She had an interview with Hershel for the open receptionist position in his clinic, Annette agreed to babysit Clay during the school year after speaking to Carol and Daryl both, and she was finally able to drive. It wasn't an easy road to any of those things, but she took baby steps and more baby steps, and they added up.

Color returned in full, lights were bright and sparkling, and little by little those were good things again. Little by little with medication and therapy Carol began to feel the good emotions and enjoy her son's laughter and his smiles. She enjoyed people and company, feeling less and less reserved, like she should lock herself away in the basement and wish the world away.

It was easier to put into words than to be there at the time. She cried and struggled and bathed so frequently. She wasn't raped, but the close encounter to it was overwhelming, and nobody really knew how to help her. She pulled away from her family and friends for weeks, and she tried to make sense of the world now, but it was a cold and dull now. She had to reclaim its glimmer. She had to, because Clay was a part of that glimmer. Dad. Mom. Lori. Daryl. Michonne. Andrea. Caesar. So many others were all there in the light, and she wouldn't let that asshole take them from her. She would stand beside them, even when it hurt her eyes, even when it was too warm. She would stand by them like they had stood by her. Even when it hurt, even when it burned.

"I haven't spoken to my boyfriend in three weeks," Carol confessed to Denise. "We set up a date to have dinner and stuff, but...I bailed. Like last time..."

"Why did you do that?"

"I dunno." She stared out the window and didn't make eye contact.

"Carol, I know you, and you know why. You're a clever girl, so tell me why you bailed."

"Because we haven't spoken about anything real in a month. We...we dance around the subject of our relationship and raise our son, but we don't talk. We don't kiss. We don't hold hands." She picked at her nails and exhaled. "I'm not fragile or broken, and he makes me feel like I should feel that way. I know he doesn't mean to, and maybe it's just me reading my own insecurities off him, but... it's difficult to want to kiss or hold your worse thoughts in human form. Projected, I mean."

"That's interesting. Tell me more about that."

"Ed...broke us," she uttered, dry lips twitching slightly at the mention of the monster.

"But Ed's gone now."

"He is, but he's...touched parts of me meant for Daryl, and Daryl has to worry it'll invoke bad memories should he touch me there or kiss me. I worry about that, too, and I flinch when he comes near me. He's...stopped coming near me." She ran her tongue over her lips and stilled her hand. "I was so focused on keeping myself together that I let us fall through the cracks. He let us fall through the cracks."

"Do you want to rectify that? Rebuild that relationship?"

"I do. I really do, but I'm scared. The nightmares come and go, the anxiety is controlled, but...I'm still scared I'll hurt him by remembering Ed or saying or doing the wrong thing." Her eyes closed. "I can't hurt him, Denise. Not him."

"You love him?"

A natural smile bloomed across her lips, her eyes opening to look at the woman across from her. "Very much, yeah."

"Then are you going on the trip?"

She winced and drew in air through clenched teeth. "Rain check?"

"Carol." She stood up and smiled down at her. "You are a teenager. Go on the trip, swim in a pond, and kiss that boy. Take it easy, let comfort set in while you're with him, and don't let any voices tell you otherwise."

"See, that's how I got pregnant, so..."

"You know what I mean." She rolled her eyes while Carol laughed. "It's summer, girl. Live a little. Keep that pepper spray close."

"Gee, thanks."

"It's a coping mechanism."

"I'll...leave it at home when I go on the trip." She rose off the couch. "I feel okay with all that happened at the end of May. It's mid July, and I'll be a junior soon. I want to embrace that stupidity of being a teenager again, and it's difficult after...knowing what can happen in what should be a safe environment. That's...the deal breaker there, but I know I'll be safe."

"With three boys in the middle of the woods? You should be."

She smiled. "Daryl hunts, Caesar...is Caesar, and Paul is great at trailblazing. It'll be fun. I'll be eaten alive by bugs and trying not to stress my boyfriend out and... Remind me why I can't just stay inside for the next month?"

"Because you need to live. After what Ed tried to do, you nee to live again. He can't take that from you unless you give it to him. Give that asshole a starving lion, not your life."

"Thank you, Denise."

"No, thank you. Your dad pays me well." She smirked, and Carol chuckled. "Go home, pack and drive safe."

"I will." She shouldered her purse and exhaled. "Can I call you if—?"

"No, no calling me. If it's an emergency, talk to your friends. It's likely you won't have cell service anyway, so trust them, okay? For my sake."

She bit her bottom lip.

"Please?"

"Okay, yeah."

"Good." She embraced her. "Have fun, and be sure to kiss that boy extra for me. The baby."

"Obviously."

"Breathe. You'll be just fine."

"Tell that to my dad. He wants to lock me up for the next five years."

"Because of what happened in May?"

"No, because he found out about the trip with three boys." She smirked. "Wish me luck, please."

"You don't need it, but good luck."

"Thank you."

– – –

"So, Lori and Karen leave me, Clay leaves me, and now you too." Axel sat on the steps while Carol packed her bag for the trip with her guys. "Why do I have to be alone?"

"Dad, Mom and Lori get back next Tuesday from their trip, Nana hasn't gotten to see Clay in a month, and you need a break. Go out and date or something."

"You didn't just say that."

She folded her tank top and looked over at him. "I spent a lot time thinking about the future, and how I don't want the past to affect it, and I think you should too. Mom would understand. She would want you to be happy."

"I am happy."

"Dad, you haven't gotten laid since the fifties."

"That's harsh and so wrong."

"I know people don't need sex, but it's nice, okay? It's...a human thing to do and want. It brings on a lot of trust and companionship with the right person. I want you to have that, Dad."

"Do you have that?" He eyed her.

"No, but I'd like to one day soon. I want to live my life again and do what I started to before that night. That means hanging out with my friends and swimming and making memories." She adjusted her spare bras and swim suit around her hair brush and spare shoes. "I want you to be happy like you were with my mom. I can remember it faintly, and I remember your smile. It was my favorite."

"Was?" He rose off the steps and drew closer to her.

"You don't smile like that anymore. I miss it." She turned to face him. "You'll find a great woman someday, please don't let her slip by."

"I had a great woman. I'm fine with...those memories."

"We'll see." She hugged him. "I just want you to be happy again, and I mean that."

"I want you to be happy again too." He flicked a curl from his nose. "Even if it means going off with three boys for two weeks."

"A couple and...Daryl."

"Your boyfriend."

"Yes, let's hope." She let him go and dropped her hands to her hips. "We...kinda haven't talked in a while, and I don't even know if he knows I'm coming on this trip or not."

"Did you break up?"

"Not in those words."

"I'm so sorry, Carol."

"We're not broken up."

"Let me hope."

"Dad!"

"What, I like the kid. I just don't like the idea of you two alone in the woods. You had sex at a party. God knows what'll happen in the woods."

"Bug bites and mud. That's what."

"If you say so. Don't let me stop you from having good, old-fashioned PG fun." He ruffled her hair. "Throw a stone for me."

"I will."

Her phone buzzed to let her know the guys were on their way, she zipped up her suitcase, and Dad carried it upstairs for her. She grabbed her mesh duster and slipped it on, climbing up the stairs and adjusting her new top. She inhaled and turned to her dad, phone firmly held in her hands, and he offered a thumbs you.

"You look great, kiddo."

"Do I? I haven't...thought about the changes." She spun around and met his eyes. "I don't look...like a poodle?"

"You are beautiful." He set her suitcase down. "And you needa duffel bag."

"I packed Clay's stuff in it." She smiled shyly. "I look okay? It's not to short?"

He set a hand on her cheek and looked over her new look. It was a rush decision before her session with Denise. Her long curls had been cropped to mere inches above her shoulders, framing her face perfectly. She looked like a young woman, soon kiddo wouldn't be a good nickname. Well, always good, but not...the same meaning, he supposed.

"Go confidently."

"What?" She giggled at him. "Why did you say that?"

"Your mom used to say that. All the time." He lowered his hand and exhaled. "She...struggled with self-worth for years, but she tried. She... God, she tried. That was the best part of her. She never gave up. She...was a fighter, right up until the end, and..."

She smiled somberly. "Dad..."

"I'm okay. It feels good to remember her, and it does hurt less, but...I'm not ready." He shrugged a shoulder. "One day, but no promises."

"Take your time." She lightly punched his arm.

There was a knock on the door, she hurried to answer it since the boys were just going to text her when they were here, and she found Milton standing there. She smiled a greeting and hugged him tightly, causing him to nearly stumble off their stoop.

"Not the reaction I was expecting." He adjusted his glasses, and she continued to beam at him. "I haven't seen you in...a while."

"I know." She put her hands on her hips. "You look good."

"I don't."

"No, you do. You're all curly now." She wanted to ruffle his hair like he was her little brother, but she didn't. "I like it. What brings you by?"

"I just...wanted to see you. I mean, I heard you were leaving."

"Yeah, just a trip with friends."

"Cool. I hope you have fun." He averted his eyes and swallowed. "I don't want to drudge up the past, but... I should have done more. I'm sorry."

"Milton, don't."

"No, I have to. I beat around the bush, and I should have said it flat out."

"You tried to warn me, but...he was clever. Not clever enough. I'm here and fine. So are you. No guilt. You...you tried, and that means everything."

His lips almost formed a smile, and Carol hugged him once more. "I'm still sorry."

"Don't be." She held his shoulders and dared to ask. "How did you know?"

"I didn't, not for sure, but you hang around Phillip, you pick up the type." He exhaled. "I'm done being silent about it."

She stepped out of the hug and met his eyes, grinning proudly at him. "You mean that?"

"I do. I...know you like Daryl and are with him, but I wanted you to know that I really liked you. You have...an energy about you. It's soft and sweet, but...you're more than that. I respect you, Carol. I really am glad to have worked with you."

"Thank you." She couldn't help the burning in her eyes and tried to blink it back. "What will you do now?"

"There's a campground opening up next year, and I wouldn't mind being helping out there."

"Aww, you in the woods? That's adorable."

He laughed. "Right? It should be...an adventure."

"I wish you luck when it comes."

"Thanks. I think I'll take a job at LB for a bit. Hit me up if you some a half-priced latte. They just...give 'em away, I swear."

"Maybe they over ordered product."

"I think they do. They have to." He shook his head. "Anyway, I have to meet Paula there."

"Paula?" Her brows rose. "What...uh, for?"

"Her college resume needs edited. I have free time, and I feel like I owe her, too."

"You couldn't have known Phillip would act like that."

"Carol, that's sweet, but...I know him better than most. I knew how he would react the news. I tried to go with her, but she wanted to go alone. She has a lot of strength—like you. I just... Maybe I can adsorb some of it."

"You're plenty tough. You tried to beat that asshole with a mop for me."

"I would have beaten him with the mop. Man, if I could go back, I'd get there sooner and beat him with that mop. I just cleaned up some gunk under the table." He smiled softly. "I shouldn't makes jokes. It was an awful day."

"No, please makes jokes about beating him up. I love them, and I need to look back at it with...something else other than...fear."

"Are you still afraid?"

"Not as bad as I was in the beginning. It's..residual. Or I hope for it to be." She exhaled. "I'm repressing the rest of it."

"If it helps."

"It doesn't, but maybe I can make out with my boyfriend without flipping out on him."

"You'll get there." He bobbed his head and smirked. "No more sad songs."

"Yeah. I guess."

"I have to meet Paula before she thinks I bailed, but um, have a good trip and be careful with the heat."

"Thanks for stopping by. It was good to see you. I...really missed you."

"Me, too. Who knows? Maybe I'll be by with my turtle."

"How is uh, Larry?"

"That's not his name."

"Yeah, but I can't pronounce his name. It has an L in it."

"At the end."

"Well, how is he?"

"A turtle. I think he doesn't like me, to be honest, but I'm hoping we can improve our relationship with time and communications." He snorted a laugh at her frowning expression. "Dude, your face was worth that. He's fine. Old but fine."

"Okay. I think you need another friend outside that turtle, dude."

"Well, I'm trying." He padded down the stairs. "Maybe I'll get lucky."

"Bye." She waved goodbye and felt her phone vibrate. She looked up as Caesar pulled in, and she turned to grab her suitcase when Dad set it on the stoop and winked at her, smirking and slipping back in without another word. "Hey, I love you!"

"Let me have peace!" He called back through the door.

"Thanks a lot!" She gripped the handle to her bag. "See you next week!"

"Ill miss you once you're really gone!"

"Jerk." She came off the stoop and was instantly wrapped in a huge hug, and she nearly had a heart attack, but the scent of Caesar's hair gel relaxed her. She freed her arm from his chest and hugged him back. She hadn't seen him since that trial's conclusion, and she missed him. Her weird older brother type figure who smelled really good. Damn.

"I love your hair." He released her. "When did you cut it?"

"This morning." She fingered the short strands and blushed. "You like it?"

"I think he said love, and I agree." Paul picked up her suitcase. "I hope you brought light clothes."

"I did." She nodded. "Mom insisted. She studied the temperatures for me."

"Smart woman. I brought long sleeves." Caesar glanced at his boyfriend. "He says it can double, but I hate to ruin my shirts."

"And sweat will do, what? Keep them pristine?" Paul rolled his eyes and set her suitcase in the truck.

He rolled his eyes. "Maybe I can borrow your clothes."

She actually scoffed, and he narrowed his eyes. "No insults, but...you're a muscle. Like Daryl. I'm not. I like my clothes to fit."

"That actually hurt me a little." He was serious. "But with the reason, yeah."

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you."

"It's fine. If you don't, Daryl will." He blew out air. "We're kidnapping him."

"What?" She paled. "I thought we all agreed for this trip! You can't force him to come. Not for my sake or his own."

"Well, he's already there. He took the RV. I told him if he drove it up, I'll drive him back home once we got there. There's the lie."

"Oh, God." She slouched backwards and groaned. "Caesar!"

"Keep it up. You'll get stuck like that." He walked backwards. "Get in, Callies."

"This is an actual nightmare." She corrected her spine and huffed. "You owe me so much, Martinez!"

"He owes me, too," Paul commented, leaning against the car. "I expect to get paid this trip."

"Don't you mean...?" She laughed nervously and didn't bother to finish that question. "Shotgun?"

"Nah, I'm gonna sleep for this trip."

"Cool."

"Nice duster. It's cute." He gestured to her outfit. "It works well."

She beamed and gripped the door handle. "Thank you."

"Good idea on the shorts, but that top? Let me know if it's too much for the hike."

"Hike?!"

"Let's go!" Caesar cheered over the bitching and kicked the stereo up, avoiding the glares from the other two in the car. God, he hoped this trip worked, or...he'd spent the entire two weeks with his boyfriend of two months. Either way, someone had to win somewhere.

– – –

Caesar parked the car in a camping ground lot, Paul unpacked the trunk, and Cesar offered to carry her suitcase, but she told him she had it. His stuff was already in the RV, along with Daryl's—Merle packed it. So it was Carol and Paul who had to carry their stuff, and Caesar offered to carry Paul's, but he had a light duffel bag so he was fine.

They began to hike to the camp spot, Caesar was used to long hikes thanks to football and murder coach, and Paul had stamina from dance, but Carol was ready to die. She kept up for the few mile, but after that her sitting out in gym became obvious.

"Here, you're going to drop before we get there." Caesar took her suitcase. "I'm used to carrying extra weight. Coach made me carry a cheerleader for ten laps a day."

"Why?" She gripped her knees and caught her breath.

"Honestly, I have no idea. I think he likes bridal style."

She laughed weakly, still wheezing to catch her breath, and she felt sweat drip down her brow. "I am so sweaty. Uck."

"You have a hair tie?" Paul walked over to her. "A spare one?"

"Um, I keep this one my wrist out of habit." She pulled it off. "Why?"

"Hold the duster, please."

She moved it out of the way, stumbling out of surprise when he yanked her shirt back, and he steadied her. She looked down as he made her tank top a crop top, keeping the knot in place with the hair tie, and she could have moaned at the hot air blowing on the sweat on her body.

"There. Makeshift, but what else do we have?" He patted her arm. "Don't faint on us."

"Thanks, and I won't." She inhaled. "I have a man to impress, and this isn't how I wanted to go about it, but I'll...make it work?"

Caesar smirked. "Trust me, you could wear sweats and impress him. He's...annoying. He hasn't been the same since you two did whatever, and he misses you. He's just grumpy, so be warned."

"He missed me?"

"He's right ahead," Paul called to them, pressing onward. "Find out."

They picked up the pace and caught up to him, the few more miles between them and RV were brutal, but Caesar kept her company when Paul marched bravely on ahead. Carol had missed him so much, and she hoped it didn't cause issues between him and Paul. There was tension there, but she didn't ask on it. She just tried to include him and be sure he knew they were only friends. He hardly commented, and she chewed her lip to keep from asking what was wrong.

"Y'all are slow as shit." Daryl was standing by the RV, his plaid over shirt tied around his hips, hair swept back and held in place by sweat, and he wore a black shirt and jeans. That did not help his situation. "You back there Caesar?"

"Finally." Paul jogged on ahead. "Air conditioning!"

Caesar laughed. "He hates heat."

"Who doesn't?"

Daryl straightened at the sound of the voice and saw the extra person. It took a minute to register it as his girlfriend. Her hair was shorter, wavier than he remembered. She was pale and thin, her flawless skin exposed by her top, a black thing bellowing behind her and outlining her curves, and her shorts were...a bit tight, but everything grew tight in the heat. Tighter...

"I'm going to make some drinks. Put this in the back." He climbed into the RV after Paul and wished them luck.

"Daryl." Her heart fluttered at the sight of him, and she hugged her exposed skin as she drew closer to him. "Hi."

"Hey." He studied the ground and kicked a bit of dirt with the tip of his shoe. "Uh, he didn't tell me you were gonna be here."

"Would you have not come?" She caught loose strands flying into her face and dared herself to keep her eyes on his face. "Aren't boyfriends supposed to...jump on opportunities to spend with their girlfriends?"

"Tsh, do we fit into that category anymore?" He peeked at her.

"My feelings haven't changed."

He chewed on his bottom lip and studied her. "I like your hair."

She blushed and smiled. "Thank you."

"Why'd you cut it?"

"It's just easier to deal with. I woke up this morning and was brushing my teeth, looking at this owl's nest on my head. I needed a change, so Dad drove me to Mom's hair place and this is the result." She laughed softly, remembering her fear and closed eyes as the woman chopped and chopped. "Takes thirty minutes now."

He nodded. "And that...top?"

"It's tied." She twisted slightly to show the knot and fanned herself. "Plus with this heat, I should keep it this way."

He shifted his weight and stepped aside. "Y'all just...gonna chill out for two weeks? Won't that be awkward?"

"Well, who do you think will lead the blood rituals?" She put her hands on her hips. "I brought my engraved knife for this. They're just gonna dance naked around me in the moonlight."

It took him a moment to find the joke, and she smirked at him. "That's an image."

"Yes, it is." She looked him over. "You look good. Have you lost weight?"

"A bit. Merle's ass keeps eatin' all my damn food. I have to horde it in my room." She giggled at his expression, and he scratched the back of his head. "Seriously. He's an awful roommate. I miss Clay."

"Roommate...?" She cocked her head to the side. "Why would he be your—?"

"Yo." Caesar stuck is head out. "Drinks are ready."

"Then I go home, right?" Daryl squinted at him. "I need to shower—brush my teeth."

"Sure." He winked at Carol and slipped back inside.

"I saw that." He went after Caesar immediately, and Carol followed to break up the fight that would ensue. "Why did you just wink at her? What the hell, man?"

"It wasn't like that," Carol assured him.

"No, it was like a dirty plan." Daryl eyed Caesar, thinking over their exchange this morning, and he closed his eyes tight, feeling like an utter dipshit. "I'm ain't leavin', am I?"

"Nope. It's a free vacation. Literally, you won't get paid." He held out a glass of iced tea. "Enjoy."

"I don't have any clothes here," Daryl ground out.

"Merle packed you a bag." He handed the drink to Carol since Daryl wasn't going to take it, and he met his eyes. "And you need away from Merle and Clay and the apartment. Dad has help to cover for us, and he suggested this trip in the first place. He was right to do that, Daryl. We need to be kids. Okay? We do. So drink your spiked iced tea and enjoy the freedom."

"This is spiked?" Carol swallowed, choking slightly.

"Not yours." Paul pulled his straw out and drank from the glass.

"I don't get booze?" She put a hand on her hip. "How is that fair?"

"Doesn't Clay drink your milk still?" Caesar inquired. "Or can you have some? I don't really know."

"This is so fun." She sat down on the couch and removed her boots.

"I don't want to be here," Daryl reminded Caesar. "I had plans with my brother, and I had plans to speak to the Dean of the local college next week. I can't be here."

"It's fine. Merle was in on it, and the Dean has scheduled you for the beginning of August."

"I don't need you rearrangin' my life for me," he snapped, the raw anger in his voice causing them all to jump. "You can live in your gold bubble, but keep the fuck out of my life. This isn't okay by any means. You don't understand the stress I am under right now. I don't need drinks and camping—I need my fucking life planned out so I don't fuck it all up!"

"Dar—"

"Don't even try and make this about me. You want to fix everything up all nice and pretty so you can feel like you did a good job and nobody stays hurt. It doesn't work that way. People get hurt. They grow. They do that on their own and with people, but it's their choice. Stop trying to manipulate everything in my goddamn life. Christ, you and your brownnoser father are so—"

"Daryl!" Carol shot up to make him stop screaming at his best friend. "Stop it. Now."

"No, fuck all of you!" He scoffed and stormed out of the RV.

Paul lowered his glass and nodded slowly. "Carol, get him out of here."

"What?" She turned to look at him. "He didn't mean—"

"Then get him away from him, because I'm about to kick his ass." He set his jaw. "Please."

"...okay." She glanced at Caesar before hurrying after Daryl.

"Huh." Caesar set the glass down and swallowed, Paul drew closer to him, touching his shoulder, and he bowed his head. "He's right."

"He's not."

"I'm trying to fix everything, and that's not my job. It should happen naturally. I'm forcing it. I'm forcing him to...be here and face everything all at once. It's not fair to him. I want to help, but it's not my place." His eyes burned. "I really do just cause problems for him." A self-depreciating chuckle slipped out of his clenched teeth. "Damn it."

"You were trying to do something good. Something fun."

"It wasn't my place to determine how, though. Not for them." He turned and leaned against the counter. "I am messing with his life. I do that, apparently. A lot. I don't mean to, but... I just want everything to be normal again, but it's not. It won't be. And I'm being a spoiled brat and refusing to let it settle back down at its own pace."

"You have a good heart," Paul corrected, stroking his arm and offering a small smile at him. "That's kindness, not manipulation."

"No, it's not."

He cupped his cheek and forced Caesar to look at him. "You are brazen and aggravatingly upbeat, but you are not manipulative. People choose. He had to know you had alternative motives. He still came."

"People shouldn't be on guard around me. I shouldn't make plans for people. It's not my place. I appreciate all you're saying, but he isn't entirely wrong—and it's okay."

He expelled air through his nose and dumped his forehead against Caesar. "We'll work it out."

"No, they will." He inhaled and looked at Paul with one eye shut. "And we have other things to work out ourselves. I believe I have to pay you."

He chuckled and gripped the back of Caesar's neck. "You do. I demand diamonds and gold bars." He brushed his lips across Caesar's, the tip of his tongue gliding crossing the line where his lips met, and he smirked. "And spooning. I like to be the big—"

He was cut off by Caesar's mouth, that teasing tongue claimed by Caesar's, and he pushed him up against the counter in response, leaving no space between them. Carol and Daryl's relationship caused strain on all of their relationships out of one party or the other worrying, but now it was them and trees. And time. So much time.

––

"Daryl." Carol ran after him and caught his arm, he jerked his arm free and sent her tripping backwards, and when he tried to help her, she smacked his hand. "I am fine, but the hell was that? You went off on him like a jackass. He is just looking out for you, and you know it!"

"I don't need another brother. Mine works just fine. No replacement needed."

"Friends don't replace shit, asshole. He cares. Hell, he loves you. All he wants—"

"Is for rainbows and sprinkles to fall from the sky at a happy fuckin' bullshit reunion! I didn't ask for this. I would've made a move in my own time. I have a lot on my plate, and I don't need this."

She eyed him. "This...or me?"

"This ain't about you!" He shook his head. "I have life problems big enough without you addin' to 'em. I've had 'em before you and will continue to have 'em after you. You couldn't understand the stress I am under. It... it's gonna crush me if I don't play it just right, and that little... fuck just decided to add more pressure for shits and giggles!"

"He loves you, and he wants you to relax. I can't possibly imagine why!" She was yelling right back at him, and God, it felt so good. "You need to stop and realize people love you and want you be okay. They are looking in and doing little things like this to try and clear that massive cloud over your head. Can't you see that?"

"I didn't ask—"

"You don't have to!" She stomped her foot. "He saw you were drawing away, retreating so that any pain can't touch you, and clearly you were—and still very much are—in need of a friend! You are the best thing in his life aside from his boyfriend and father. You have been with him for so long, and he feels what you feel, okay? Don't you get that by now? And he isn't alone. Merle set this up, too. That boss of yours was in on it, Amaro. People who love you are freaking out at your behavior right now, because it's erratic and full of self-destruction! Damn it, let them help you!"

He stood away from her, hands on his hips, and he chuckled. "That's real rich."

"You not alone anymore," she stated, "get used to it."

He scoffed. "I didn't ask for this."

"I already answered that, you big headed ass melon. I don't want to go into it again." She caught him smirking, and she narrowed her eyes. "Wait... Wait, wait, hold on. You aren't mad?"

"No, I was furious. Then you screamed at me, and you're just...real tiny, and now I'm amused." He laughed. "It's kinda hot."

"I am mad at you right now! You hurt his feelings!"

"Don't worry. Paul's all over that. We've gotten through worse."

"That doesn't make it okay. I am not tiny, by the way." She stuck a finger out at him. "I am a good height."

"Uh-huh, sure." He caught her finger and pulled her closer while she groaned at him. "What?"

"You are maddening." She glared at him, but he was already leaning down to lightly kiss her lips. "I hate you." He kissed her once more, adding more and more pressure, and she turned her face away. "Still mad. You can't kiss it better."

He exhaled. "I miss doin' that."

"I miss you respecting your friends, so."

"My God, I'll apologize. Just look at me." He shook her until she met his eyes, pouting somewhat and not at all amused, but he knew that could change. "I'm sorry."

"You didn't even call." Her eyes filled with tears. "I know why I didn't. But why didn't you? After the trial, you just...put up a wall. You felt like a stranger."

"You looked at me like I was one."

"I was lost, Daryl. I didn't know who anybody was for weeks. I thought... He changed what I thought, and I had to piece it back together. I... I needed you, and it's my fault you pulled away. I let you. I didn't talk to you. I didn't tell you how I was improving or worsening. I just let you go." She wiped at the corners of her eyes. "I didn't mean to, but it was easier than facing you."

"You had a lot worse things to face."

"We just started everything over, and I—"

"We," he tenderly corrected, "we messed it up."

"I don't want to mess this up again. I really don't." She shuddered in his arms. "I don't want him to come between us. It's in the past, and you said—"

"I know what I said, but this is—"

"Be my future," she interrupted him. "Be with me now. None of that matters anymore. It doesn't."

"It does."

"Daryl, please, listen to me."

"I am. I know it ain't over and done with. It might seem like it is, but it haunts, Carol. That shit haunts you, and you never know when it'll come back. I can't be the person who brings that back." He lifted her chin. "I can't."

She dug her nails into his shoulder and bit her bottom lip, and his thumb caught her bottom lip and freed it so she wouldn't cut open her lip. "I think I can decide how well or recovered I am. I was in therapy for a month and a half, Daryl. It was one night, not even ten minutes. I won't let ten minutes ruin me. He's in prison with no sight."

He hung his head. "He might be, but in your head—"

"My head is clear. If you don't want me then come out and say it." She shoved him away. "But don't make this about my so called trauma."

He watched her storm off towards the RV, and he dragged a hand through his hair. This trip was going to last forever and be an absolute, goddamn nightmare.

––

When he returned to camp, Carol was sitting away from the RV, picking grass off her legs, and he was about to go inside when she told him not to. He moved his hand from the handle and looked over at her. She was staring at the blades of grass by her feet, and he scoffed.

"You talkin' to me or not?"

"Unless you want to walk in on them either making out or doing...stuff—no, I'm not talking to you."

He shook his head. "Fine, keep the streak goin'."

"I think I will go down to the lake and soak my feet." She inhaled deeply and nodded her to herself, standing up and dusting herself off. "Maybe I'll meet someone."

He glowered. "That ain't funny."

"Gee, I thought I heard someone. Must be the wind." She shoved him with her shoulder on by way by, and he grabbed her wrist, yanking her back. She gasped at the sudden motion, finding his eyes burning into hers, his fingers loosely holding her wrist, and she tried to glare at him.

"You're still my girlfriend."

"Treat me like it then." She yanked her wrist free. "I am not a broken thing. I refuse to be."

"Refusal ain't shit against your own brain."

"That's what Denise was for!"

"Do you even know the way to the lake?"

"I'll find out." She stomped off, crossing her arms and not once looking back.

He wanted to pitch himself off a cliff, but he couldn't. He had a five and half month old who needed him to be alive and mobile. God, if Clay was here, he could have a million things to do. Mel took him for likely the rest of the summer. He didn't catch the length of time before he...avoided her house entirely, and he wanted to make up for that, but there was just no possible way he could. He fucked up, as always, and maybe it was best not to repair it. He did have one more year here before college, and he'd called it quits so many times before so why not add this to that list? She could do better. He could be better.

The RV door opened, Paul stepped out and waved at Daryl with a hint of "I'm going to kick your ass if you talk to my man like that again" in the gesture, and Daryl was tempted to give Caesar some hints on how to give better head. Jesus.

"Where's Carol?" Caesar looked around.

"She went to find the lake." He leaned against a tree. "Ask me if I'm havin' fun yet."

"Are you—?"

"Don't." Paul grasped his wrist. "Let's join Carol."

"But he shouldn't be left alone. That's rude." And he might steal the RV and leave them there.

"He'll survive." He guided him down towards the path to the lake, lacing his fingers through his, and Caesar tried to become comfortable with leaving Daryl behind. "Come on. I'll race you."

"That's not fair. You know I'm competitive!"

They raced down to the lake, Carol was splashing around in the cool water and nearly screamed at the two boys running by her. She laughed when they crashed into the lake, dying from the heat and the sweat, and she covered her mouth to keep her laughter back at the two. They were such boys for eighteen year olds. Good God.

"Hey, take it easy." She waded out to them only to her knees. "I don't know CPR."

"I do." Paul pushed back hair from his face. "I got you."

"Okay, if you go down first, we're screwed." Caesar smirked mischievously, and Carol caught it. "You're a perv. I am talking about a life threatening situation, and you—Aah!"

He hauled her over his shoulder and dragged her out deeper into the water, she threatened to kick his butt so he dropped her, and Paul moved back when she surfaced. She went after Caesar and dragged him down, Paul attempted to help him, but Carol was like a shark. She moved onto him, and he decided to save himself.

Daryl looked down at them as they splashed and laughed with each other, rubbing the back of his neck and shaking his head. Must be nice to be a kid. He didn't have the luxury. He knew that if he kept going on like this he never would, but it was too late to change now.

––

The trio's wet clothes hung on a clothesline Daryl had to put up, the sound of crackling and giggling filling the air, and the scent of fish wafted out to them. Paul cooked up some store bought fish for dinner in the RV, Carol and Caesar were stretched out a blanket, looking at the stars and pointing them out to each other, and Daryl sat away from them, tossing twigs into the fire. It was built purely for aesthetic pleasure.

"I think that's the big dipper," Carol gestured to a cluster of stars. "No clue, but I think."

"I could see it." He rolled his head to the side and smiled at her. "Hey."

"Hi." She laughed. "I've been here a while, so lowkey insulted, but hi."

"No, I didn't mean it like that." He inhaled. "Can I talk to you? I mean...about Paul. If I talked to Daryl, I think he'd just walk away."

"You're right." Daryl called this out from his spot by the trees.

Carol sat up and glared at him. "Take a walk then, Dixon." She threw an arm out towards the woods. "Please."

"Fine." He climbed to his feet and pointed up. "And that ain't the big dipper."

"Ugh, just go!" She groaned and rolled her eyes, rubbing her temples as he walked away, and she muttered to herself. "Pretentious asshole."

Caesar pushed himself up. "He's just lashing out."

"I know. It pisses me off." She exhaled. "I'm sorry. Ignore our mess. What's up with Paul?"

"I'm a virgin," he went for it. "I...don't do stuff, either. I mean, I've thought about it before, but I'm not good at...stuff."

"What stuff?"

"Any stuff." He shook his head. "I want to...take that step, and I know it seems soon, but when I'm with him, it feels like we've known each for years. It's easy and relaxed when we're just sitting together. And when things turn up, they...you get the picture."

"You're nervous."

"Not just nervous. I mean, I know how sex goes in all forms, but I don't...know how that can feel good."

She smiled fondly. "It just does."

His brows shut up, and he gaped. "You—you and Daryl?"

"Not fully, but enough to know it feels really good." She hugged her legs to her chest. "Just trust him and maybe read up on it. You'll work it out together. I promise."

"I hope so, because he's...hard to resist."

"I know that feeling."

"And he's so confident. He hasn't tried anything, because I must give off some vibe, and he respects that. It's depressing. I want him to make that next move, so I know what...he wants to do it too. I know I can talk to him, but I'm not good at that either."

"You are such a talker." She laughed at him and set a hand on his knee. "Dude, just let it happen. If you both want it, it'll come together. If not then talk about why it isn't. I see how he looked at you at the lake. He seriously wants you—though the wet shirt look gets everyone hot."

He snickered and knocked his knee into hers. "Thanks."

"It's fine. I'm gonna sleep out here. It's cool, and if I'm in an enclosed space with Daryl right now, we'll fight."

"About what? What happened after you went after him?"

"I don't want to think about it right now. It's sorta personal, too. I need to work it out with him, but I'm not in the mood to right now."

"Okay. Figure it out, though, Carol. He really did miss you. He cares. He is just utter crap at showing it."

"I know." She looked over to where he walked off. "Hey! Food!"

"Food?" Caesar hopped up and saw Paul about to call to them. "I'm starved. Thank God."

"What am I now, your dog?" Daryl appeared from the darkness.

"No, my dog would have trust in me knowing I know I'm fine." She padded up the steps to the RV to get some food.

"Maybe the dog's just being respectful," he groused, following her into the RV for dinner and trying to avoid the tension he'd created. Was it time to go home now?

– – –

In the morning they all had cereal and sat around the table in silence. Paul looked from Carol to Caesar and then to Daryl before straightening in his chair, sighing. Carol focused on chewing and didn't look at any of the people around her. Caesar was playing with his cereal, swatting it with his spoon and frowning at it. Daryl finished his and left the bowl in the sink, leaving the RV.

"What's the plan for today?" Carol lifted her eyes.

"We're gonna take a hike," Paul answered then clarified. "Me and Caesar. Sorry."

"Nah, it's fine. I'll just...try and tan, I guess. Have fun. Use sun screen." She sank back into her chair once they were gone and ditched her empty bowl in the sink. She changed out of her nightclothes and helped herself to the shower, thinking of what to do today all by herself.

She cleaned up and changed into a sundress, going outside to sweat the shower into oblivion, and she found Daryl waiting for her. She tapped her thumb against the RV door and let it shut, closing the space between them and lifting her chin to meet his eyes.

"Good morning." She didn't try to smile. She didn't feel like smiling.

"Tell me how it went," he replied. "The therapy and all. Was she good?"

"She was great. She helped me through the nightmares and panic attacks, helped me cut away at the exaggerated images my mind threw at me, and she helped me begin to...feel again."

"Feel again?" He tilted his head. "How do you mean?"

"I don't know when it happened, likely during the prep for the trial, but I started to feel less and less. Like I shouldn't testify, like nothing really bad happened to me, like I should stop trying to make a scene. It spread to my emotions. I shouldn't be so upset over what happened. He didn't get me. He tried, so stop crying. You're a baby. You're stupid. Stop crying. Stop crying. Stop feeling, and eventually... I stopped everything." Her eyes burned, and she couldn't speak. She opened her mouth but nothing came out. She inhaled and tried again. "He bruised me, cut me, threw me around, but I didn't even it half as bad as the others. My mind made a point to remind me of that, and...Tessa."

"Who the hell's Tessa?"

"Another survivor. She told me I weakened the case. I was like...a tourist in Ed's sick games, and I didn't really count, I guess." She rubbed her arm. "She started that line of thinking, and everything inside ran with it."

"It's bullshit. It was still an assault."

"But not the same." She blinked back tears. "It wasn't. I was lucky. I had tools to help me fight all around me, because the store was a death trap, and I didn't get it as bad. I could have, but I didn't."

"Doesn't mean your pain and anxiety and nightmares mean any less."

"I know, but why does is the aftereffect the same? If the actual event wasn't as terrible, why was the aftermath? I—I wasn't raped. I was beat up."

"With intent to be..." He couldn't say it. He couldn't.

"But he didn't, and Denise and I talked about all of that. I know what happened to me, and I saw how the situation could have grown by looking at Tessa and Lizzie and God, Molly! That didn't happen to me. We...will always have that same common link, but that's all I want it to be. It doesn't get to define me. It doesn't...get to hold me back. And you don't get to decide if I'm better or not." She surveyed his eyes and face for understanding, and he nodded slowly. "Okay?"

"Okay," he verbalized. "I just really need for you to be sure you're better, though. Okay?"

"Daryl, you couldn't possibly—"

"Okay?" He repeated, his voice broke on the word, and his bottom lip quivered.

She nodded. "Okay." She barely got the word off her tongue before he wrapped her up in his arms, his hand cradling the back of her hair, and his hand balled into a fist at the small of her back. She felt moisture on her neck, and she gripped his broad shoulders.

"I'm sorry." His voice was deeper than usual, raw emotion filled the word, and he shook against her. "I am sorry."

"I'm sorry too." She closed her eyes. "We really need to work on communication."

He laughed, and she smiled instantly at the sound. "Yeah, we do."

"We have no future without communication." She rested her head on his shoulder. "So talk to me. Always talk to me."

He stroked the small of her back with his thumbs, swallowing loudly, and closing his eyes. There were words he could express now, but he didn't. He didn't want to dive into the mess waiting back for him at home. He would tell her about it, but for now he wanted to be sure she was better. His issue was typical and had remained manageable and normal—her wasn't. Her shouldn't be. He had to be positive she was back to herself again before he moved forward. He didn't want her to endure the agony of past problems being ignored, because present problems were more, you know, present. She would heal, and they would talk. Soon, he hoped. He needed to tell her everything. It was just so much.

"Walk with me?"

This he asked an hour or so later. He wasn't sure when he finally released her from his arms, or when they sat down and spoke more of what happened after the trial. Daryl continued to apologize, but she made mistakes too. She honestly didn't bother to reach out to him once she felt better. She let space fill the void and keep walking to avoid being swallowed by it. The truth was she couldn't handle his anguish and guilt on top of her own emotions. He was worried he'd hurt her, and she was drowning in thoughts and feelings and couldn't be bothered to let anyone else in. Even after she roped them in and could understand them, she needed to focus on herself. That was okay. Perfectly okay. He needed time, too, so it worked out. Even if it did cause some issues. If they were meant to drift apart because of this incident then they would drift apart.

They almost had called it quits simply because it was easier. Communication was the most difficult action to take in the world. To speak and be heard. To speak and demand to be heard. It was absolutely everyone's basic right to be heard, even if it was through hand motions or machines. Everyone had a right to be heard. But hearing wasn't undemanding. To truly listen it require more than ears and eyes—it required the heart and the head. To required emotion and logical and understanding. It was no effortless task to listen or to speak, but once that first one was heard, the rest tended to stumble out right after it. That was the beautiful and tormenting part. When the words weren't want you wanted to hear but had to be said... When you weren't ready or expecting to hear certain news... When you think you have the best defense in the world but their words still topple you... It is no torture to speak, torture to be heard, and it wasn't all negative.

Like now when his body spoke volumes of love for her: his eyes studying her face like he'd only now gained sight, his lips curling up in the lightest dusting of a smile, warm breath that hit her face as a chuckle freed itself from his very soul. His nose bumped hers gently, his forehead coming to rest against hers, and her hand settled on his cheek as he murmured softly at her. She could hardly make it out the words, the tone melted her heart, and she knew that no matter what came this man was her future. Come what may, he would be in it to stand by her, and she would stand by him. Where else could she possibly be?

He kissed her tenderly, tilting his head so their noses wouldn't hit, and he felt her tongue slide across his lip as he shifted his head. He chuckled and claimed her mouth, tongue and all, weaving his fingers through her curls and pulling her closer. Her small fingers spread on his cheeks as his tongue stroked hers, his lips pressing more and more urgently, and somewhere between their kisses air became a rapidly immediate need.

She broke the kiss first, inhaling softly, exhaling a delightful giggle, and he rubbed his thumb across her bottom lip, drawing her back in with no concern for his own lungs. She seemed to mind his lungs, not letting their kisses last long, and he sighed a complaint.

"Take a breath, Daryl. I don't want you passing out before I'm done with you."

"Oh, done with me?" He smirked at her, tongue caught between those ever hidden whites, and he cocked his head to the side, eyeing her. "Can you keep up?"

She chuckled softly and met his eyes. "Speaking of things that are up..." She arched a brow at him, her fingers gripping the waistband to his jeans, and he claimed her mouth once more.

––

"Just so hot it's out here," Caesar commented, "I don't know my way around the woods."

Paul smirked. "My knowledge of wood isn't help in these circumstances."

"I guess not." He scanned the area. "Are we still on the path?"

"I'm worried you're not...following me at all right now." He stopped walking and chuckled. "Wait, you're seriously talking about nature?"

"Well, I don't want to get lost. I have nightmares just like this." His tennis shoes brushed across twigs and acorns and small pine cones, and he felt like he was in a nightmare. Why the hell did he decide on the woods? People could die in the woods. He could die in the woods. Or the woods could come alive and kill him. Wait, that was Harry Potter with, like, bushes? But animals!

"I have dreams about this kind of thing, too."

"You do? That's cool." He thought about that statement, eyes narrowing, and he faced him, nodding his head. "We're not having the same conversation."

"No." Paul smirked, arms crossed over his chest. "But you're adorable."

"I try."

"C'mere." He uncrossed his arms and held out his hand. "I marked the path, so trust me."

He grasped the outstretched hand and allowed him to guide him off the path with only slight panic, the deeper they moved in the woods the more leaves and theirs shadows were cast down on them and the ground. It was only slightly cooler in the shade, and he had to resist the urge not to look back or mark a path for himself in case Paul somehow vanished—and he really needed to plan for a city trip. Always a city trip.

"Don't worry." He turned to face Caesar. "I don't plan on leaving you out here."

"I didn't say that." He narrowed his eyes. "When did I say that?"

"You're really more of a garden boy than a woodsmen."

"I'm not a boy. I just like...cars and buildings and...witnesses."

"I never would have pegged you for an audience guy."

"You know what I mean." He shook his head. "I hate nature."

"Here, I'll take your mind off of it."

"Can you?" He set a hand on his shoulder when he drew closer, fingers curling around his neck, and his fingers weaved through his in the hand he had already been holding.

"I think I can. Just stop mentioning the trees." Paul kissed him with closed eyes, feeling the echos of laughter on his lips from his chuckle, and he slid his hand around to his broad back, bringing him closer until his chest was right against his. He nudged his lips opened, tasting coco on his tongue from the cereal, and Caesar eagerly accepted his tongue, tilting his head to the left. Paul moaned softly at the gentle exploration of his tongue, and he let go of their intertwined fingers to hold his cheek, feeling his fingers gripping the sleeve to his shirt.

His thumb rubbed down Caesar's check to his jawline, shifting down to his throat, and he added careful pressure beside his Adam's apple. He felt a soft moan building there, and it vibrated against his tongue. He opened his eyes to be sure of what was behind them before backing Caesar up against a tree, the forceful contact with the truck causing their kiss to break, and Caesar inhaled deeply, eyes opening.

"Sorry." Paul brushed his fingertips over his neck and kissed him gingerly.

"I kinda like when you're rough," he confessed.

"Why am I not surprise?" A coy smirk crossed his lips, and he kissed him once more, lingering on his lips and teasing his tongue before pulling away. "Do you trust me?"

"Depends on the situation." He chuckled airily, his heart pounding in his chest, along with other pounding..er parts.

Paul ran his tongue across his upper lip and grasped Caesar's hips firmly, Caesar watched as he lowered himself down into the twigs and dirt, his hands undoing the belt of his jeans. Caesar squeezed his eyes shut, Paul swiftly unbuttoned his jeans and yanked the zipper down in one fluid motion, looking up to find Caesar with closed her eyes. He nibbled on his bottom lip and held his hips once more.

"If you're not—"

"No!" His eyes flew open, and his cheeks reddened. "I... I've never done anything...like this."

"You're nervous?" He stood up. "So am I, but I've been waiting for this trip, to get you alone from work and stress." He kissed him deeply, testing the waters by slipping a few fingers through the entrance his zipper made and stroking him. He felt his chest rise and his entire body shuddered. He pulled away from the kiss and murmured. "Could I taste you?"

"Fuck." Caesar's lips parted as breathing began an issue, his entire body burning.

"Please?" Paul bumped his nose against Caesar's, and he kissed tenderly the line of his cheekbone, feeling heated breathing on his neck.

"Yes." He leaned forward and kissed Paul's neck, his tongue tasting the skin there, and he could almost feel the muscles moving as Paul smirked.

He kissed him briefly before going down on his knees, gripping his the waistband of his jeans and boxers, sliding his fingers around to his happy trial, his fingertips brushing the skin and feeling the increased temperature there. He pulled them down, Caesar helped by pushing the back down since they were quite fitted, and Paul would definitely make a joke about that later.

He inhaled and looked over the beautiful creature before him, his eyes moving all the way to the blushing face, and he shifted how he was sitting, pushing up Caesar's shirt, placing kisses there. His blushing boyfriend tasted faintly of soap and spice. He couldn't speak on the spice, but it was nice, tingled on his tongue, and he nibbled on the hard muscle on his belly.

He painted the curve of Caesar's hip with saliva, small red marks marking his trail, and Caesar groaned. If Paul placed his mouth against his hip, he could feel the skin vibrating, and he bit down, smiling when he yelped. He was consciously aware of the growing length by his chest, and he left another mark beside his belly button, dipping his tongue into the divot, hearing Caesar suck air in through his teeth.

He trailed his kisses downward, Caesar moaned and dug his nails into the truck of tree, Paul's tongue sliding out across the tip of his length. He could feel so many things tightening in his body, and he couldn't seem to breathe. God, was this asthma? Could he suddenly get that?

"Oh, God." He hissed through his teeth at the wet warmth moving along his member, and he'd never felt his body react to anything quite like this. He couldn't catch his breath, his lungs were burning, and his entire body was alive and aware. It felt somewhat like torture, but that swift tongue reminded him this was pleasure.

He gripped the Paul's hands that come to rest on his hips, and he looked down when Paul decided to make eye contact, parting his lips and taking him in his mouth. His eyes slid shut at Paul delicately sucking and nibbling just right, his hips moving to provide friction, and Paul pushed him back against the tree, sliding a hand upward underneath his shirt to keep him still, and he took him in deeper. He wanted to taste all of Caesar, and he would feel him starting to come undone. He pulled away, Caesar opened his eyes, and Paul brushed his fingers across the stiff, damp member before him.

"Look at me, baby." His eyes burned deeply in Caesars before he devoured him once more, and Caesar cried out from being pushed so far and the intensity in his boyfriend's eyes. He was held upright by Paul's that at some point moved back to his hips, and Paul swallowed every last drop of him.

Caesar slumped down by the tree, Paul brushed with sleeve over his lips, and Caesar was panting quietly. It took Caesar a few minutes to come back to him, Paul kissed the bridge of his nose and brushed his hair back from his forehead, a tender smile on his lips. Paul was watching him when Caesar began to take reality back in, and Paul stroked his cheek. He was the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen, which was how Paul had felt watching him ascent to the pleasure and touch the stars. How did he ever get so lucky?

"Hey," Paul greeted him when his breathing finally evened out.

"Hi." Caesar pushed his bangs out of his face.

Paul leaned into his touch and kissed his palm. "You okay?"

"I'm more than okay." He chuckled. "That was... Jesus."

"Get the nickname now?" he mused, and Caesar laughed. "By the way, nice boxers."

"Shut up." He was blushing again, adjusting himself. "They're actually really comfortable."

"I'll have to find out."

He felt a stirring in his body again. "I want to, you know."

"Hmm?" Paul studied him.

"I want to have sex with you."

Paul chuckled. "Not out there and not without lube. Trust me, I want to too, but not right now."

"Does it hurt?"

"A little at first, but I'll prepare you before I enter you."

"That makes me a bottom, doesn't it?"

"Wait, did you think you were a top?" He laughed, and Caesar rolled his eyes. "We'll see."

"Yes, we will."

"Let's get back." Paul stood up. "I...need to check on something."

"We just got out there." He climbed to his feet. "We have to weeks for you, you know."

"I know, which is why I need to check on something." He walked backwards towards the trail to keep eye contact. "If I'm gonna have you, it's not going to be once, and I need to be sure I packed for that."

He inhaled deeply and nodded. "Yeah, let's check on that."

––

Daryl ran a hand down her body, the blankets they had left over last night rumpling under the movement their bodies were making, and Carol wanted him to do more than just kiss her and lightly touch her. She liked it. Hell, she loved the kissing and the light touches, but he was still holding back. She hated that. It meant that he was coming between them again, and she hated that.

"Daryl." She tried to shift her hips underneath him, but he wasn't letting her, and she was losing patience. She tried to speak once more but he kissed her harder, as if trying to swallow her words, and she was done. She pushed on his chest, and he pulled back.

"What?"

"Nothing. I'm thirsty." She cleared her throat and sat up, adjusting the strap to her bra and her dress. "I think I saw lemonade in the fridge. Do you want any?"

"No, I don't." He shifted on the blanket and eyed her. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing. It's the middle of July, and I have a man on top of me. I'm thirsty." She climbed to her feet and headed inside to get some lemonade.

He sighed and flicked a bug off his arm, seeing movement in the treeline, and he saw Paul and Caesar emerge. He waved vaguely, Paul headed into the RV, and Caesar approached him.

"What's up? Still fighting?"

"No, we made up." He looked over at the RV. "I think."

"You...think?" He sat down on the blanket. "How do you think you made up?"

"We were...makin' out, but she just pushed me away. I don't know why."

"Your morning breath?"

He glared while Caesar laughed. "No, I brushed my teeth. She just... I dunno. It's like I could feel she was annoyed. By me. I don't know why."

"You holdin' back?" He squinted at him when Daryl leaned back and the sun hit his eyes. "Man, I need sunglasses."

"I can't have sex with her." He stacked his hands on his chest. "Just can't."

"Why not? You guys literally made plans to do just that all day."

"Yeah, and you know what happened with that."

"Look, I don't want to speak for her, but it didn't happen to you, Daryl. It was between them, and I know it's difficult because you care for her and would never want her in that situation, but you aren't part of the equation. She's tough, and that's not physical. It's mental. She knows herself better now since having your son than I think she ever did, and you're not trusting her."

"She been talkin' to you?" He pushed up on his elbows to look at Caesar.

"No, but I know her pretty well, and I know...you're not meaning to, but you're overthinking how she _should_ feel instead of how she actually feels. I know you think you have a handle on the whole survivor situation, but you don't. Not like her. You need to draw the line between your imaginary Carol and the real one, because she's better."

Daryl clenched his jaw. "You don't know shit about me or what I've been through, or what she's been through. I have a good idea of what that is, and you're just projectin' some book bullshit at me. That ain't gonna work here. Healin' takes time, and he did hurt her. He beat her and tried to... Look, I understand that you want to repair every little hole, but you can't hug her better."

"I don't need to hug her better. Denise did that. Axel and Karen did that. She...isn't going to spend years and years hanging over what happened, because she doesn't want to. It's not that simple, but she's trying to take back what Ed attempted to steal. She's trying so damn hard to feel normal again, and all you're doing is telling her how she should feel. It's like a constant reminder. Let her make what you think are mistakes, and if you're right then be there for her to work through them. Don't decide how you think she should handle recovery."

He emitted a long, deep, aggravated breath and stood up. "You might be right with her, but stop pushin'."

"Daryl, I'm only pushing, because this isn't like you. You and Carol have had this thing between you for a year now, and now when it's time to act, you're avoiding it. I know you've thought about this for a long time now."

"Stop steppin' in my business."

"No." He shot up and got in his face. "No, you need me to get in your business, because if I don't force myself in, you will be crushed from stress. Let someone help you through this, Daryl. I don't mean Carol. You can repair what fell apart, but with Merle? Let me help. I can help. I want to!"

"We aren't talking about Merle right now." He glanced at the RV door to be sure Carol wasn't there, and Caesar frowned, following his gaze then clicked his tongue on his teeth. "Oh, don't."

"You haven't told her." He sighed. "You need to tell her."

"This is why livin' by your shop is a goddamn nightmare! You should be the one who doesn't know!" He groaned and stomped away before turning to face him. "I am not your neighbor, Caesar. It isn't your problem. Stop pushing this, okay?"

"I'm your friend, and I don't stop pushing! It's literally the only thing I have working for me." He faced him. "I have enough guilt on my conscious without adding Merle into it."

"You didn't do anything! Stop making the world's problems your own."

"Actually, I did," he admitted. "I pushed for the campground. I know the owner, and I told him go for it. I didn't know it was the same land you grew up on. I'm sorry."

"That doesn't matter."

"Yes, it does. That's your childhood home, your childhood land! You grew up there and hunted there, and it's going be torn up and made into a campground for kids in a few weeks. I sold that land out from under you pretty much by pushing Zeke to buy it! I didn't know, and I'm sorry. I'm sorry that Merle is homeless. I'm sorry everything you built there is gone now. I'm sorry for trying to be your friend and help Merle get back on his feet!"

"Merle lost the trailer?" Carol stared at Daryl.

"Son of a bitch." He smacked a hand to his face and groaned. "Goddamn it, Caesar."

"She deserves to know." He exhaled and look at her. "The land Daryl and Merle grew up was sold recently. Merle was removed from the land and is now homeless. The trailer was torn down so they can begin building a campground there."

"Oh, my God." She gasped.

"Yeah, they started cutting down trees and removing old junk two weeks ago. Merle wasn't home, and the trailer looked like old, abandoned junk, so they hauled it off and trashed it. Merle's been living with Daryl for two weeks now, and he just lost his job. They're...downsizing. We're trying to help him get back on his feet, but neither Dixon will let anybody help them." He cut a foul look at Daryl at the end. "And he didn't want anybody to tell you. Hell if I know why."

"You're a prick," Daryl spat. "Let me live my life and stop tellin' people my business. That's what I get to do."

"But you _never_ tell anybody anything!"

"I never tell anybody anything?" He laughed once humorlessly. "Did you tell Carol why you are even her friend in the first place? Have you told her everything about that yet?"

"Wait, what?" She felt a film slip over her eyes as they yelled at each other, and she walked over to them. "What does that mean?"

Panic flashed in Caesar's onyx eyes, and he stammered at her then turned to Daryl. "How do you know?"

"It wasn't hard to figure out." His eyes burned into Caesar's. "You didn't want to date her or fuck her, and you didn't want a friend. You already forced me to be your friend, plus all those assholes from school, so... I worked it out. You have abandonment issues, after all."

"Caesar?" Carol reached out to touch him, but he stepped back out of her reach. "What's going on? Why...why are you my friend? I mean, you care about me, right? ...d—don't you?"

Caesar caught Paul looking on at their fight, and hi eyes burned. "I love you. You are like family to me."

"But she wouldn't have been anythin' to you if you didn't know she was pregnant with my kid," Daryl ground out. "He knew I wouldn't want the kid right away, and he didn't know you, so he made sure he did. He made sure had a hand in our son's fate by being your friend and encouraging you to keep the baby."

Caesar's heart broke as confusion and realization crossed Carol's face along with tears as she shook her head to try and fight what Daryl was saying. "That's not the whole truth."

"Then what is the truth? Can somebody please tell that to me?" Carol erupted. "You hide Merle and his eviction from me, and I don't even know why we're friends! So can somebody tell me the truth! Please!"

"My mom up and left me and my dad, you remember?" She nodded. "I... I mix up the details, but the truth is I was ten, and she left. I didn't know what I did wrong or how I could have done better. If I could have fixed it, and it eats at me. I...destroy things. And I know it was me. I know it was me. I can remember how happy they were when I was still little, and I see pictures and videos of them from before, and they were happy. They loved each other. I... I ruined that."

"No, you didn't." She hurried over to him and embraced him. "You didn't do any of that."

He shivered. "I always wondered what was so wrong with me that made her leave. What did I do? What did I say? Or how wasn't I enough? How could Dad love me and not her? How could...I be so repulsive that she up and ditched a man she loved? How could I do that?"

"Stop it. Stop it, stop it, stop it." She held him tighter.

He looked at Paul and swallowed. "I'm not enough."

Daryl didn't know the depth of this pain, his heart couldn't handle it, and he felt like an asshole. He watched his happy friend fall apart to the same level Daryl avoided, and Daryl had done that to him. All because of some bullshit secret about Merle that wasn't even a secret. All because he was angry someone thought they had the right to care and fix Merle's situation when it was always just them. Daryl and Merle fixing their problem alone. He felt like he was losing any bond with his brother, and Caesar and Amaro's kindness was the last snip. He felt isolated from his kin, and because of that... because of that stupid, irrational jealousy...he cut open a wound inside his best friend that he had no right to even touch.

"Caesar, I—" Daryl didn't know what to say. Words meant nothing. Nothing compared to that type of pain.

"I couldn't let that baby grow up and feel like this." His voice broke, his throat ached as words choked through its tightening tunnel, and his normal tone had deepened, cracked. Glass burned by flames to the point of shattering... "I hate myself for ruining what they had, and I hate myself because I drove her away. I made her leave, and I don't know why. If I knew—if I just knew then I—"

Carol was carefully removed Caesar as Paul took him in his arms and held him, his voice gone, and he kept trying to speak, but there were no words. There was only childhood anguish. There was no avoiding it. It was staring at me, judging him, drowning him.

Carol turned to Daryl who looked at Caesar with regret and apologies, and she grabbed his hand, pulling him away into the woods. She dragged him in deeper and deeper, he didn't know what the hell to expect, but he wanted to talk to Caesar, to apologize. He didn't know. He didn't know! Goddamn it. He...he wouldn't have said anything if he knew.

When they stopped walking, he was in her arms, and he was confused. He didn't understand what was going on, but she held him silently. This silent force of warmth and kindness, the same force the Martinez's had been offering since he met them, the same force of compassion and respect and understanding that those church people gave him when he dropped off food. It was always there, wasn't it? He just... What the hell was he supposed to do with it? Honestly, what? What was he supposed to do?

"I'm sorry about Merle and your land." She stroked his hair, and he couldn't comprehend what was happening. She wasn't yelling. She wasn't arguing with him. She was...consoling him. She was apologizing. What...? "I'm so sorry. It must be awful."

He was beyond perplexed. He fell to his knees, her stomach in sight only, and his eyes were shifting rapidly, his mind cracking to try and understand this situation. He just made his friend have a major breakdown, and now Carol was being compassionate. She was being sympathetic. He didn't understand. He should be yelled at. He deserved to be hit for that. Shit, what he did...

Carol lowered herself down in front of him and brushed hair out of his eyes. "No more yelling."

"But I—"

"No." She spoke so confidently, so softly, and his eyes burned, blurring her face. "No more."

"Carol, I—"

"You lost your home." She searched his eyes. "I can't imagine that. It explains a lot of your behavior, and it's not acceptable that you took it out on Caesar, but I'm done yelling. All I've done since we got here is yell. No more."

He bowed his head before burying it in her lap, and he hit the ground hard with a fist. "Why?" He yelled this onto her thigh. "I don't get it. I don't... I don't understand."

She rubbed his shoulders and as far back down his back as she could reach, her other arm wrapped around his head. "I know." She placed a kiss between his shoulder blades, and he punched the ground again. "But you will."

He dug his nails into the dirt and groaned through clenched teeth before collapsing into the earth and into her lap, and she continued to rub his back and hold his head. Fights in his family didn't end like this. He didn't understand how he could be so cruel and not deserve that right back. He did. He knew he did. Caesar should... He had every right to just...

"I'm sorry," he whimpered, moving his arm around her hips to hold her. "I'm sorry."

She rested her head on his shoulder and brushed tears away with her thumb gingerly. "I know."

Perhaps the real reason no one liked the woods was because of what could happen there. Bad, terrible, awful things could happen to and around you in the woods, and nobody would be able to find you. Tree stretched tall, their shadows hiding dark secrets and memories, and they went on tall for miles. Scary, right? But see tree were nature. Creators. Healers. In the dark of their shadows...dark things couldn't hide, and they were exposed to the world. Exposed to be beaten away and the wounds cleaned. Slowly. Gently. Like sticky sap sliding down a trunk. It could close a wound and keep out infection. It could become a protective base for healing, and that was also why someone people didn't like the woods. Wounds...old wounds...cut like knives in the heart to reopen and properly heal, especially if you never wanted to admit they were there in the first place.

– – –

Caesar was asleep in his and Paul's bed in the back of the RV, Daryl was asleep on Carol's lap, and Paul was breaking twigs to toss in the fire. He kept eyeing Daryl, and Carol would send him back death glares. They both had wounded men they wanted desperately to protect. He couldn't help but smile at that, and so did she, but love was tricky. It did things to you, and you couldn't always go back.

"How is he?" Paul stood up.

"I don't know." She felt him nuzzle her lower belly more, and she continued to play with the short strands of hair that reached his cheeks. "Better, I hope."

He nodded.

"How is he?" Her eyes moved to the RV.

"He wouldn't stop crying and asking why he wasn't enough. He wasn't really talking to me, but even if he was, I couldn't answer those questions." He pulled up his jeans and walked over to her, crouching down to be at eye level. "Keep him away from Caesar for me. Just for a couple days."

"I don't think we get to decide that."

"I can try, can't I?"

She smiled at him. "You love him so much."

"Don't you?"

"He does have that affect on people. His good heart." His bruised heart. "You'll take care of him?"

"I can't seem to stop." He chuckled. "And I didn't mean love my guy. I already know that."

"I know." She inhaled. "I'm letting him sit on my lap with all of his body heat and the July heat, so if I don't, I must like the torture."

"I'll get you that lemonade."

"Please."

Daryl moaned softly, his hand moving from her lap, and Paul backed off to keep from fighting away. He opened his eyes, groaning at the feel of wet cotton in his mouth, and he blinked to find flowers in his vision. He blinked and poked the massive pink flower, and it squealed. He shot up and found he was on Carol's lap, not lying near flowers. And also that big pink flower was... "Sorry!"

She was pink in the cheeks but smile at him. "How do you feel?"

"Like...gross. I feel gross." He groaned. "My head hurts."

"You should take a shower." She climbed to her feet and stretched. "I'm going to fix dinner with Paul."

"Wait." He scrambled to his feet. "Where's Caesar? How is he?"

"Asleep still." Paul returned with two glasses of lemonade and handed on to each person. "Let him sleep."

"I'm sorry." Daryl accepted the glass. "I really didn't mean to...do that."

"I kind of hate you, Daryl," Paul admitted. "But he loves you, so you get a second chance. Be happy I combined both asshole episodes. And don't make me regret it."

"I'll try not to be."

"Try very hard." He touched Carol's arm and nodded towards the RV, and she swallowed with a nod. "We're having burgers."

"Sounds good."

"Come inside and clean yourself up." Carol picked a twig from his hair.

"Yes, I should." He chuckled to himself. "In a minute."

"I'll hold you to that."

It was about two hours later when everyone had finished eating, Paul went to wake Caesar up, and Daryl couldn't escape the RV fast enough. He was like a tree, hovering by the table while Caesar rubbed his still swollen eyes and looked around at who all was there. His eyes landed on Daryl, and Daryl felt only shame. Perhaps he was more like his father than he knew—only words were his weapon, not his hands.

"You're uncalled for," Caesar broke through Daryl's thoughts. "You're cold and sometimes very selfish and secretive. You give me heart palpitations, and I wish you would stop acting like I have an angle all the damn time. Yes, I do sometimes, but it was just a trip. I just wanted one trip, and if you made up then good. Great, even, but...I just wanted to have fun after months of quiet stress."

"I know." Daryl chewed on his bottom lip. "I'm sorry."

"Yeah, me too. I won't do this again." He drew in air. "Fucking trees."

Carol snorted, Paul rolled his eyes, and Daryl laughed outright. It was a building moment, and they all ended up laughing, and it felt amazing. So many wounds were thrown out into the sun, exposed to the elements and yelling, and here those same wounds were...hearing and feeling laughter. A horrid image, but it felt wonderful.

Caesar briefly hugged Daryl and found his plate in the microwave, sitting in the passenger seat to eat. Paul asked him down to the lake later, and he agreed. Carol didn't want to know what was going to happen, so she found a book and moved into the bedroom to finally get comfy in the familiar space. There were two beds now, but still so much ahh. She melted into the bed and was tempted to just go to bed. She was exhausted.

"You got a minute?" Daryl stood in the doorway.

"That depends on the minute."

"It's about Merle and the property." He entered and sat down on the bed across from her. "I should have told you, but... You had therapy and recovery, and I had to deal with Merle and...that's why I pulled away."

She rolled onto her side to face him. "You and him, huh? Always just you and him."

"Yeah." He ducked his head. "I'm not used to havin' support. You know that. People look at me and already have an opinion. They don't want to help me—only judge me and make me feel like shit. It's difficult to let go of that after seventeen years of it. You and your family have been great, and so has Caesar and Amaro, but...I'm hard wired to believe people don't want to help me. That while I have my son and everythin', it's still just me and Merle when the world fucks us over. I don't know how to go to other people for help. I just don't."

"I can understand that, but you need to try."

"I am. I...let Amaro know about Merle, and I asked him for help before we left. I wanted to talk more about everything with him, but...Caesar kidnapped me."

"You needed it. Let the adults handle their own situation. You can help, but you already have by reaching out and letting him stay with you. The rest is up to him. You can rely on people all you want, but Merle has to take steps too. It's not all on you."

"Always used to be."

"Not anymore. You've done so much for him, now let him figure it out from there. He's an adult. Let him be an adult."

He nodded. "Okay."

"And thank Amaro. He does a lot for you."

He smiled a bit. "I will."

"And trust me, okay? I want our relationship to work, but it's not working at all right now. I care so much about you, so let me. Let me care and let me into your life. We just had this conversation, and there's still more you hide. Daryl, it hurts to think I know all the secrets and stresses, and I don't know anything."

"I know, and I'm sorry. I'm tryin' here, and it ain't easy. No one ever wants to know me."

"Lair."

"Fine, I don't want anyone to know me." He lifted his head to meet her eyes. "That's why I ignored Paula. That's why I only fucked girls. That's why I never let Caesar get close to me until you were pregnant. I don't want anyone in my head. There's already enough noise."

She pushed herself up. "Wait, that's why you and Paula never happened?"

"Yes. I didn't want to let her know me, and eventually she slept with my brother, so I definitely didn't want any part of her then. But mostly I just didn't want someone to love me like she did. I'm still not sure I want it."

"So...you're not sure you even want to love me? Or to have me love you?"

"You're already in my head," he divulged. "And I don't mind you bein' here, but it's everyone else."

"You can't just let me in and shut them out."

"Why not?"

"Because I want you to have more than just me to turn to. I want you to have good friends and lasting relationships. I want you to love and not worry it'll hurt you somewhere down the line. I want you to be...safe with other people. Safe and open."

He gulped. "It's never been that easy."

"I know it's not, but you need to try, because you shut out the entire world save for three people. This world cares about you. You wouldn't have come so far if it didn't, so care about the world and its people. You want to be a lawyer. You have to care. You have to listen and feel and...love. You have to let other people in. How can you protect them—defend them—if you don't?"

He closed his eyes. "I didn't think about that."

"Then start thinking about it. You can't help people by being closed off. You have to care and be...open. You can't lock the world out and try to help its people. It doesn't work like that."

"Do I still...get you?" He opened his eyes. "I mean...are we still together in all that mess?"

"Duh."

He moved off the bed and onto hers, kissing her softly, and he hugged her, falling onto the bed beside her. "You know I want you, right?" He held her close to his body. "I never didn't want you."

"I wasn't sure, so thank you for telling me."

"Not now, though. It's been...a long day."

"I'm fine. I've been...you know." She smirked, and he narrowed her eyes. "What? That was a joke from before, remember? When I said did you you know?"

"No, I remember. I just... why?"

"Well, Denise said it could be empowering, and I wanted to take back my body." She picked up the book he was sitting on. "It was nice."

"Just nice? You doin' it right?"

"Yes, and I came to realize that I really have a thing for..." She trailed off. "Never mind."

"What?"

"Never mind."

"Tell me."

"Do you not realize the condition you're in?" She pointed down, and he only smirked. "You do know."

"I do know, so tell me."

"Nope." She opened the book. "Have fun with it though."

"I will." He climbed off the bed. "They're gone too, so...if you hear anythin', it's just me."

She narrowed her eye when he slipped into the bathroom, lowering the book and listening. There was no way, she thought to herself. She listened for him and began to hear soft groans. She gasped and felt her face redden. Oh, my God. He was just... in the next room? Oh, my God!

"Okay, okay." She stood up and walked over to the door, listening to see if he was serious, but she couldn't hear anything. The door opened, and he grabbed her, pinning her against the wall and kissing her.

"You're adorable." H stroked her hair, and she smiled. "I'm savin' it for you."

"How kind." She rolled her eyes. "I'm touched, really."

"You're gonna be." He kissed her again. "But not tonight."

"Daryl—"

"We got a fire to build so we can sweat on it." He released her. "I found marshmallows."

"I haven't had s'mores in so long." She felt her mouth fill with drool. "Wait, is there stuff for s'mores?"

"Duh."

"Then let's get to it."

Daryl and Carol built a fire to help themselves to the massive horde of smores ingredients, talking about what else Denise suggest Carol do for empowerment, and Daryl could see she had gotten more comfortable with her body. He would thank Denise for that. Only that. He didn't like her finding pleasure without him. It would hot to watch and join in, but not her alone. God, he had to... No, no, he didn't want it like that. Not like that. It'd wait. He would wait.

Down by the lake with a pile of blankets and a bag full of their own smores ingredients, Paul and Caesar sat against a tree, roasting white fluff into blacken, charred yumminess to smoosh between chocolate and gram crackers. Paul was glad to see him smile again, but it didn't last long.

"I'm sorry about today—about this whole trip." He flicked sticky marshmallow off his finger. "It was a stupid idea."

"It wasn't. It's nice." He gestured to the lake. "It's a good view for roasting marshmallows."

"They don't taste like anything." He sighed. "I ruin things, don't I? I try and make up for what I did to my dad, and I only—"

"Stop!" He snapped, and Caesar jumped. "You don't ruin anything. People make their decisions, and we have to live with those decisions sometimes. You don't know why she left for sure. You were just a kid. It couldn't have been you."

"How do you know that?"

"Because I love you," he blurted. "I've only known you for seven months, and I love you. She had ten years, so I know it wasn't you. To have ten years... God, I'm surprised she made out the door."

"So what? My dad did it? It's his fault?"

"It's no one's fault. People can be reckless and make mistakes and relationships fall apart. It's hard to come to terms with, especially since you were so young, but...stop it. Stop dwelling on that memory and ask your dad for real. Get clarification on the whole leaving. Please, I can't stand to see you this way."

He inhaled and thought about it. "Yeah. You're right. I should have asked a long time ago."

"Yeah, probably," he mused.

Caesar chuckled and met his eyes. "You said you love you."

"You caught that, huh?" He sucked chocolate off his finger. "Yeah, but only, like, a little bit."

"Only a little?"

"Yeah, it's tiny." He held up two fingers to show show tiny, and Caesar pushed them aside and kissed him, kissing his chuckle away. Paul expected him to pull back, but instead he was reaching under his shirt, and he pulled back. "Caesar—"

"I love you, too," he confessed, "and I need to feel you. Please?"

"This is too romantic, though. The lake, the fire, the chocolate." He inhaled. "You'll have to be the bottom now."

He smirked. "Make me like it then."

He seized his mouth, removing his stupid over shirt that had no reason to be a thing in these temperatures, and they had some struggles. Caesar wanted to take their clothes off, but Paul wanted to savor his kisses. It lead to a lot of laughing and parts bumping together and precious, precious love blooming.

"Here." Paul removed his own shirt and set it away from the fire, undoing his pants. "Let me. You're gonna hurt yourself."

"That's uncalled for. I wouldn't."

"You just kneed yourself." He laughed, kissing him lightly. "And I don't mind unwrapping your presents."

"Then I'll unwrap yours."

Paul dropped his belt and ran his eyes over him. "Do it slow."

"You just stripped in like ten seconds."

"So?"

He rolled his eyes, but he complied. He was embarrassed at first, having someone watch him so intensely, but beyond that was lust and desire. He could see Paul stroking himself as he removed his shirts, and that was kind of...empowering. He slipped out of his jeans, thrusting his hips to get his boxers and jeans off at the same time, and the corner of Paul's lips curled upward at that. He didn't think it was very sexy, but maybe Paul brought that out of him.

His mouth was immediately claimed by Paul's once he was naked, and he ran his fingertips over his naked body, seeing it for the first time completely. If he wasn't already getting hard at Paul touching himself then this would have done it. God, he was beautiful and almost ethereal. And he was his. This moment was theirs, and that made everything so much sweeter.

"I want this to be good for you." Paul searched his eyes. "I know you've never done this before, so just relax."

He gulped and nodded. "I'm fine."

"I'll bet." He sat back and reached into the bag. "I honestly didn't know we'd be using these, but I'm glad I brought them." He could swallow, but he wanted this. He really wanted this, and he hoped Caesar was prepared how different this was going to be from what his dad probably told him.

Caesar tried to keep his heart from pounding, hearing Paul opening a condom, and he had no idea what to expect. He hoped he liked it. He didn't want Paul to get all worked up and then chicken out. He would tough through it. After all Paul had done for him, he could tough it out. He cared him, so it'd be okay.

"Hey, you're kind of pale." Paul hovered over him. "Nervous?"

"Yeah."

"I'd say don't be, but I was nervous too." He stroked his cheek. "I still am. I'm going to have to stretch you, but if you don't like that, we won't do any further. I won't push."

"It's fine. I mean, we can go further."

"Not if you don't like it. I'm not going to use you like that." He frowned. "Don't tell me you like it if you don't. Promise me."

He sighed. "I promise."

"Don't ever fake it for me. I want you in all of your authentic glory." He kissed him lightly. "Plus I've dreamed of these hips since May."

He chuckled. "That dance, eh?"

"I want you to dance with me," Paul purred, his fingers gliding over Caesar's entrance, and his body tense. "Let me know what to do next." He kissed him to distract the anxiety boiling up, and he slipped a finger inside, using the gasp to glide his tongue into Caesar's mouth.

It wasn't what Caesar thought. It was odd to be probed at first, but the more Paul kissed him and caressed him, the more his body relaxed. When his second finger entered, he moaned, and he pulled Paul closer, needing more. So much more, and Paul smiled, thrusting his fingers in and out and feeling him quivering around his fingers. The blood in his body had long since rushed downward, but at Caesar accepting a third finger, he could feel his member aching with anticipation, leaking juices as those hips moved to feel more and more of his fingers.

He couldn't stand it anymore and broke the kiss, Caesar was panting, and he grasped his member to ensure he had applied enough lube. He smiled at the sight of Caesar's once puckered entrance waiting for him, and he carefully fit himself inside, feeling Caesar tensing at the feel of him. Paul damn near came at the tight heat around him, but he focused his breathing and blinked hard to try and keep himself together.

They waited for several heartbeats before Paul dared to move, Caesar hissed at the movement, and Paul watched him as he moved in and out leisurely, ensuring this didn't end because of a mess and he didn't hurt him. He grasped Caesar's length in his hand and began to firmly stroke it, and Caesar moaned, thrusting back onto him.

"Fuck." His body immediately returned the thrust, and he looked with panic at Caesar since it was harder than he'd been going, and Caesar was watching him, daring him, and Paul leaned forward and claimed his mouth. He thrust inside of him, his tongue rolling over his, and Caesar found a rhythm within Paul's, moaning when he began to stroke him again.

With all of the kisses and the thrusts and the strokes, they both knew it wasn't going to be much longer. It was so much, and it felt so damn good. Caesar couldn't keep himself together as Paul went deeper and deeper inside of him, working his cock firm and oh-so right, and he couldn't. He just couldn't hold it back, and Paul begged him not to. He was so close too, but he wanted Caesar to get there first. So he very much needed him to not fucking do that.

That sticky heat dripped down from Paul's stomach to Caesar's, and Paul lost himself at the sight of his man lost his pleasure. He cried out his name and spilled himself hard, and he could barely hold himself upright. He pulled out and dropped on top of him, Caesar wrapped his arms around him, and Paul buried his face in his chest. The cleanup would come later.

"Am I supposed to have no feeling in my legs?" Caesar laughed.

"I'd hope not." He leaned up and kissed him. "I gave you my good moves."

"Where were the best?"

"That's for the second time." He smiled. "That's more doggy style, though."

"I can't wait." He caught his chin and kissed him deeply, feeling a pain run through him when he shifted.

"Sorry." Paul cupped his cheek. "You caught on quick. I didn't mean to go so deep."

"I'll be sure to get a donut pillow for next time." He chuckled. "I love you, doesn't matter if it hurts a bit."

"If this is the only hurt we encounter then I'm down for it." His lips formed a loving smile, and he stroked his cheek. "I love you, too." He kissed him once more and pulled a blanket over them, reaching down to remove the condom, discarding it by the rocks.

"Oh, that was sexy," Caesar jested.

"Safety is sexy," Paul replied with signature smirk. "If only yours was so easy to clean."

"Well, if you don't want a mess." He shifted and kissed his stomach, Paul shuddered at his tongue, and Caesar began to lick him clean. Paul grunted and dug his fingers into Caesar's back at the thorough strokes of his tongue. Once the area was clean, he planted kisses there, and Paul felt his eyes burn at the affection in them.

"Hey." Caesar pulled the blanket down from his head. "What's wrong? Did I do something wrong?"

"No." He inhaled. "You're just the first guy to...be so okay with it. I've been with one other guy, and he kept me hidden. I thought it'd be the same with you, because you haven't told your dad yet, but..."

"Hey, that's not about you. He has work trips and crap, and I barely talked him out of sending me to Greece. He went instead. As soon as he's back, we'll tell him. I promise."

He sniffed and nodded. "You're definitely one of the good ones."

"So are you." He kissed him briefly and held him, drawing in a deep breath. "Want another s'more?"

"Yes, actually. That sounds nice."

They found their clothes and the s'mores ingredients, both sneaking looks at the other as they dressed, and Paul had him sit on his lap for cushion support. Caesar felt like a child, but after what they just did he could be no further from it. S'mores and sex, that wasn't something he planned on happening, but he hoped it happened again and again and again and with Paul. There was something here, something more than just his damn good looks, and Caesar wanted to relish in it in case the world didn't make it to last.

– – –

Carol smirked at Caesar the entirety of the next day—from around her coffee cup, from across the fire, as she helped him get firewood, as she watched him make dinner. He even threw a frog at her to try and wipe that smug smirk off, but she only laughed and then smirked. He was sure the frog smirked, too. It was embarrassing and definitely busted the bubble Paul and he had built after leaving the lake. He just gave into her smirk and admitted it. She actually cheered for him and hugged him—she knew he'd showered—and told him she was happy for him. Him and Paul.

Daryl didn't seem to notice or care that they came back in each other's clothes and Caesar avoided sitting down. He distracted himself with things throughout the day, Carol was fine with it, and Caesar asked what happened between them. She said they talked, and he pressed, but she had nothing more to give. She looked disappointed, so he knew she was telling the truth. He hoped they were still good, and after he watched them that night kissing and whispering on the other side of the fire, he knew they were.

By the fourth day, Carol and Daryl ditched them to take a hike someplace, and Caesar asked him if he wanted a condom. Daryl cringed at why he had them and said no. Caesar called him out on that cringe, and Daryl assured him he was fine with him and Paul. It wasn't his life, and he was cool that they were together and happy, but he didn't want to think about sex. Their sex, his sex, any sex. He was trying to think of way romantic gesture to make up for the last time, but he had nothing, so no condoms, no sex. He wanted this to be done right. Even if all he wanted to do was bent her over the kitchen table—she would let him do that—and just... God. He could seriously cry. God, why was his brain so slow? Other parts so were not.

"It's so nice out today." Carol had let Paul talk her into cutting her tank tops into crop tops, but only the two she didn't really like. The breeze felt great, and she was glad Lori had lent her these shorts, because hers went to the knee, not above, and she would be sweating. It felt so nice.

"Yeah, it is." He studied the sky. "Hey, you wanna learn how to track?"

"Why not?" She faced him.

He regretted every second of it and that damnable cropped top. She caught onto how to properly track, because she was a smart little shit, but she kept...bending over. She wanted to be sure of one print or another or if the leaves fell like that or were kicked, and it was...like being in Hell. Her cleavage was right there in front of his face, and that ass...was just glorious in those snug fitting shorts. He wanted to have a fight with his brain right then. Just thrown down with his own, because how could he not think of some romantic ass gesture that could lead to him sucking on her—

"Hey, look." Carol gripped his arm. "Shh."

He bent down beside her and followed her line of sight, seeing a doe and its mothers. He glanced over at Carol who looked on awestruck and smiled, clearing his head of those thoughts. _This is what this trip is for. Moments like these. They mean more than release_ , he told himself and informed her the ages of the deer. He didn't feel the need to mention the mama was ripe for hunting. That was just cruel, but damn if Merle was here... Although that little doe, man. He couldn't do it. Not after Clay. But man, he had to get Merle out there and get his mind off...the entirety of his reality. Yeah, that'll work.

He laced his fingers through Carol and escorted her through the woods, mentioning the types of moss and mushrooms and other floral they passed. He told her how to tell poisonous mushrooms from safe to eat, and she found a bunch of flowers. She attempted to make a crown but failed, biting her bottom lip at its epically hideous turnout. He knew how to weave, so he made her one while she desperately tried to save hers.

"God, that's just bad." She dropped it. "Sorry little flowers. I plucked you and...made you ugly." She sighed a whine and felt hands on her hair. She looked up and saw green and pink. "What...?"

"You wanted one." He dropped his hands. "There ya go."

"Daryl." She felt the intricately weaved steams when she adjusted it and her heart melted. "Thank you."

"Looks good." He pulled his phone out. "I'll take a picture for your friends."

She posed for several pictures then insisted he wear it, he was grumpy but wore it regardless, and she accepted it back for a few couple shots. She lost interested in the photos when he kissed her, his phone landed beside her as he kissed her harder and hungrier, and she felt them smashing the flowers as he lied her down.

She felt her heart racing as he lifted her leg up over his side, sliding it down to grasp her ass, and she pressed her hips into his, but he stopped kissing her. She tried to ask when was wrong when he backed up to sneeze—a lot. The flowers triggered an allergy fit, and he felt something wet and hot drip onto his hand.

"Oh, my God!" Carol dug tissue out of her pocket for his bloody nose. "Here."

He accepted it, and they decided to head back. It was a twenty minute trip, the tissue filled, and he used his shirt. Carol felt guilty, but it wasn't like she laid herself down in the middle of a bunch of flower (?!), and she tried not to laugh at how he said that. She wet a washcloth once they returned and had him take his shirt off.

She cleaned up the blood that dripped onto his chest, noticing faint scars on his chest. "What's this?"

"Me and Merle were rough kids," he murmured. "Plus I got in a lot of trouble out in the woods. I got lost in 'em when I was nine."

"Oh, my God, how did that happen?" She bent down to clean the blood from his nose and chin.

"Just did. I found my way back with poison ivy on my ass." She giggled. "Yeah, no one even noticed I was gone."

"That's awful."

"Merle was off on a binge, and who knows where my old man was."

"I'm going to go off on Merle for that. He—" she cut off and listened.

"What?"

"Sshh." She looked back and noticed the bedroom door was shut then blushed. "Oh, God, go, go now."

"What?" He tried to fight her pushing hands, but she was stronger than he wanted to fight, and he stumbled out of the RV, pulling on the overshirt he wore, buttoning it up. "What the hell was that for?"

She folded the washcloth and moistened her lips. "The bedroom door was shut."

"Oh?"

"Do you see Paul or Caesar?" She gestured to the empty camp. "Did you not hear that?"

"Hear...what?"

"Daryl, don't play dumb and make me say it." She tossed the wet rag at him. "They were having sex, okay?"

"Someone should." He caught the rag and cleaned off his fingers.

"I'm going to take this moment to familiarize myself those mushrooms." She nodded her head and walked off.

He smirked after her, glancing at the RV, and he hurried after her. He didn't want to get caught in that conversation when they were done. At least he would help her with this study.

– – –

It was later that night when Carol and Daryl got into another argument. It wasn't about anything major, but it did cause her to try to sleep outside. Caesar and Paul were just getting used to the quiet, and Daryl walked off. He had been gone for hours, and they were worried, but Carol was pretending not be worried. She knew he was fine. He was just roaming the woods.

She was lying down on the thin blanket by the fire, staring at it, when she heard his boots approaching her. She exhaled and wanted to pretend to be asleep, but she knew he wouldn't buy. And she was curious about where he'd gone.

"Hey." Daryl crouched down beside her. "C'mere."

"I think I've had enough of "c'meres" for today," she whispered. "Where did you go?"

He didn't answer, simply urged, "Please?" He held his hand out to her, and the word caught her attention enough to meet his eyes. There was...a resolve there she hadn't seen since he decided to be a father to their son, and she couldn't look away from those clear blues. Their fight wasn't that intense, so why was it there?

She accepted his hand and let him help her up. She slipped into her tennis shoes, and he once more claimed her hand. He kept a hold of it and guided her by the RV; Caesar and Paul followed them with their eyes before chuckling with relief and hoping this worked itself out tonight.

"Watch your footing." Daryl helped her over the thick branches and soon her sneakers brushed over stones. She held onto his hand tighter and grasped his arm so she wouldn't lose her footing, and he chuckled softly when she nearly slipped over mossy rocks. It wasn't a laugh at her; it was a gentle sound that hummed through his entire being.

"Here." He caught her before she stepped too far.

She looked around and saw they were standing above the a lake. It wasn't quite the top, but it was about halfway. A safe distance to jump if one had the courage. It had a beautiful view of ridiculously blue water, the moon dancing on its shimmering surface. The stars were sparkling, and it felt peaceful. It was a picture of beauty. She couldn't image disturbing it.

"It's beautiful." She smiled to herself, letting go of his grip to wrap her arms around herself. "You could've just taken a picture and shown me."

"I didn't come out here to show you the water." He felt the loss of her hand and nearly shuddered, closing his fist tightly and stepping forward.

"Daryl!" She tried to move, but her body wouldn't let her get that close to the edge. "W—what are you doing?"

"It ain't that high." He bent down and undid the knots in his boots.

"Are you kidding me right now? You can't jump in there. It's cold. The water's bound to be freezing at night. It was cold when I went down there with the guys."

"So?" He kicked them back behind himself.

"W—what's the point of bringing me up here just to jump down there?" She eyed him and instantly knew his plan. "You can't just talk to me? You have to shove me into a lake?"

"Shove? I'm not anywhere near you." He removed his flannel, leaving himself clad in only a thin, sleeveless shirt, which he knew he looked good in. The way her lips parted as her eyes drank in the expose skin then to hastily be averted to the ground only confirmed that. "I do wanna talk to you, but I also want to swim. I can multitask. Can't you?"

"I don't want to jump."

"It's not that far. Merle and I used to do this all the time." He smirked at her, urging her to loosen up for this jump with his eyes, and she felt him winning this argument. "I'll be right here with you. Don't you trust me?"

She inhaled and decided to let this be a real moment about everything that went down the last couple of days. "I do trust you, but I don't know what to make of you. I honestly don't anymore. I thought I did. I had...it all laid out of who I thought you were, but I don't know. You hid so much, and I understand why. I really do, but I thought you trusted me, too. I thought we'd talk about everything. What's next, Daryl? What aren't you telling me? Those scars—"

"It's my past, Carol. You saw what the past did to Caesar. It tore him, and I don't want that between us right now. It'll come when it comes, but right now let's be kids. Let's be a couple. I'll tell you when I'm ready, because I trust you. Because I care about you and...want you to know that part of me." He exhaled deeply. "I've never been close to anybody like this before."

She smiled softly at his words. "Me either, but—"

"No, buts tonight. Trust me when I say I'll tell you. I've never had this before, and I want to build on it. I want..." He moistened his lips and went for it. "From the moment I spoke to you until this moment right now, this has been like nothing I've ever known. It's all new to me, and I'm sorry if I mess up. I'm trying."

"And I know you are." She blinked back tears. "So am I." She'd seen more of his back earlier, and it was marred with silvery scars and colorless tattoos. She tried to ask what really happened, and the walls came roaring back up, knocking her away. It was...heart crushing after the day they'd had.

"It doesn't always feel like that."

"Because I don't know how to try with this. I'm moving blindly." She met his eyes. "I...really want you and care about you, but it's so confusing. We were so close then we fell out for over a month, Daryl. I... I don't want that to happen again once you tell me this part of your past. I don't want to hurt you. Or trigger you, but I don't know how to be careful here."

"I'm not a fragile...thing, Carol. I've dealt with my past. I'm still dealin', but...honestly, I don't want to think about it tonight. I do want to talk. A long, boring discussion filled with questions and solutions on how to move forward together as a couple and as parents and as people, but it's gonna be heavy. It's gonna hurt. I don't want to hurt tonight. I want you tonight, and I want to be reckless teenagers for once. We never got to do that, so I want do that tonight before the weight of adult relationships and Merle and all of that shit slams down on us when we get back into town."

She inhaled deeply and tilted her head back, rubbing her ear against her shoulder as a shudder passed through her.

"So can we just swim and not talk about this? Can't we just...have fun and care about each other and be like those two idiots back at camp? For once?"

She rolled her eyes them rubbed them dry. She stepped forward and unzipped her hoodie, leaving her in a tank top and shorts, which she discarded by her shoes. The shorts and hoodie only. She didn't have a bra on, because fuck the heat of camping and a bra. That was torture.

He smiled a little and peeked at her when she stopped undressing. "You ready?"

"Bring it." She smirked at him and backed up a bit before running and diving into the water. Her hands broke the surface first, cool water surrounded her, twisting around her neck and her ankles, weaving through the short strands of her hair. She floated there for a moment, suspended by the water and the darkness of closed eyes, and she lost herself, allowing the water to take the stress and the thoughts of tomorrow away before she swam up for air.

Another splash told her Daryl had joined her, she pushed the water from her face and opened her eyes to find him shaking water from his hair like a dog. She laughed and covered her mouth, not surprised by his choice of drying off.

"What? You laughin' at me?" He had one eye closed, running a hand through his dripping locks, and he looked absolutely delicious, all wet and wonderful.

"So what if I am?" she called back. "What are you gonna do about it?"

"I'll show you." He dove under the water, and she couldn't see him under the darkened waters. She gasped when he grabbed her ankle, thankful she'd taken in air as he ripped her under the surface of the water, pushing her down towards the rocky bottom. She opened her eyes and saw his silhouette, committing it to memory, in the file she would look back on for her youth when she was older and Clay was a challenging teenager. The good times.

They both resurfaced at the same time when air became necessary, he shook his hair once more, and Carol pushed hers out of her face. She realized in that moment his own hair was now longer than hers since she chopped it off, and she laughed at the thought of that. She would have to braid it, even if he fought her—which he totally would. But it was his own fault. He gave her a boy, not a girl, so she'd just have to remind him of that until she had a girl of her own. One day in the distant future, for sure. Although if Clay took over his daddy, she'd have hair to braid for days.

"What, you want a round two?"

"No." She shook her head. "I'm just thinking."

"What about?" He leaned back and allowed his body to relax so he could float. It wasn't as smooth as he had hoped given the muscle he'd gained, but he managed.

"Your hair is longing than mine now, you realize."

"I didn't." He chuckled. "Huh."

"And I'm thinking about Clay, too." She ensured her earrings were in tightly.

"He's fine."

"I know. Nana is great at taking care of him. She did raise my moms very well. I have no worries, just thoughts."

"Mmm."

She inhaled. "I don't know if I told you this before, but I honestly never thought I would be grateful for that night beyond having a son and getting a new friend down the line, but I was incorrect."

He looked over at her.

"I'm more than lucky that it was you. Paula reminded me of that, and so do you—every single day."

He smiled and felt the tips of his ears redden at the sudden praise. "Just...doin' what a dad does."

"I don't mean for Clay," she amended. "I mean for me. I know you're being a dad to him, and you're an awesome dad. He adores you. So do I. You've been by my side through the rest of my pregnancy. You never complain. You always work hard for him and our family, and you've even gone so far as to assist my parents with their financial issues. That's not just something a dad does. That's solely what you do. Don't...humble yourself so much that you don't see that. You are an amazing human being, a kick ass dad and...a man I really do adore. I don't have words for how much you make me feel..."

He didn't have to see her to know she was blushing, and he stood up, finding the bottom of the lake. He waded over to her, seeing her milky skin in the moon's rays, and he saw she was shivering. It couldn't be entirely from the temperature of the water, and he set his hands on her shoulders, pulling her closer in case it was.

She lifted her head, seeing a few water droplets on his face sliding down and bouncing back into the water. It was no surprise the beads had bunched on all over their skin, she noted that they were on his lips, too, and she reached out, brushing them away, knowing smaller ones had taken their place in her thumb's wake. She didn't mind the small ones though. She couldn't see them. She wouldn't be able to taste them.

Daryl's breathing stopped momentarily when her warm fingers found his face, her thumb swiped across his bottom lip, and she leaned up and her lips met his. She tasted of lake water, but as her lips pressure harder against his, he discovered the taste of honey and sweetness. He cupped her cheek and slid an arm around her waist, pulling her flush against him. He soaked in her warmth and the arousing feel of her body practically naked against his. It had been so long since he'd been so close to her like this, skin on skin, and fuck it was just as good as he remember. She generated so much heat, so every cool part of his body was soon on fire at the feel of her, and his body began to react to what it felt.

Her hands were pulling through his hair, her mouth hungrily meeting his again and again, and she was so assured. It was so damn sexy to him. His brain was racing, and none of it was logical, because how the fuck could he string any thoughts together? Christ, her form was solid and flush against his own, her breasts firm and the nipples hard from the cool water, and shit, he couldn't take it. God, she felt so good. She tasted so good. He just wanted to drown here in her and forget that there was even a world outside of the here and now.

He broke their kiss, she was panting so hard, and he wanted to make her even more breathless. He reached down and grasped her thighs, lifting them to his hips and she locked them tightly. He grasped her ass in both hands, she whined a moan that went straight to his groin, and he felt his entire body burning at her every reaction. He didn't know he was going to hold it together. They were only kissing, and he couldn't feel his knees anymore. What the hell happened to him? He used to be cool and collected, and he did this shit to _them._ God, no wonder Carol couldn't say no that night. If she felt like this then... damn. Shit, it was like the built up of all their almosts smacked into him, and he felt weak.

He sucked the water drops off her collarbone, she smiled against his temple and giggled when he nibbled that one spot by her neck that was ticklish. He bit down a little and her giggle turn into a moan, and he knew exactly where that moan was headed as her legs tightened on his hips. He chuckled this time and caught her earlobe between his teeth, the gold earring knocking into his tooth lightly, and he didn't care at the gasp she let out. He swallowed that gasp and glided his tongue into her open mouth.

Carol wasn't fond of the hot breath that rush into her mouth when his lips met hers, but his tongue soon roused hers, and the rest didn't matter. She remembered how his tongue felt and remembered all that it had done to her those nights, and she moaned fervently, scarlet dusting across her cheeks at her own eagerness.

She dug her fingers into his shoulder blades, lifting herself up more out of the water, and his arms encircled her waist. She could feel him against her in the water, and there was pulsing in her center that she had felt often lately. It was delicious and painful. It ached for so much more, and it crushed her lungs as much as his kisses. She couldn't breathe from the dizzying pulses her body emitted to Daryl's hands and lips, and his kisses were leaving her practically suffocated. It was a sweet torture, and she wanted more. God, she needed so much more. Please let him need that much more, too.

She broke their kiss, and it was partly due to her lungs screaming at her, but it was mostly an attempt to bring sanity to the desire floating her body. She pressed her lips unthinkingly against his, and she closed her eyes. She wanted friction, but they were too wet and from how he was holding her, she couldn't get any. She wanted to whine, but he said something that caught her attention and made her body clench in response.

"Please," he begged in a guttural tone in his throat, "please."

"Please?" She didn't open her eyes, just listened.

"I need... I need you," he rasped. "Can I have you? Please let me have you."

She smiled and her eyes fluttered open, kissing him sweetly. "Yes."

There was no instant relief just yet. She didn't want to do anything more in the water, and he understood and shared that thought. He had laid out a few blankets and towels at the shore for after to dry off and talk, but now they had a different purpose. One he didn't consider to be an option, because he was more concerned about their relationship surviving this damned trip then being with her in this way.

Setting her down on the towels, he seized her mouth with such an ardent vigor. His hand grazed from her hip down between her thighs, she whined at the feel of his hand, and he pulled back. These clothes had to fucking go.

He tossed his sleeveless shirt somewhere in the dark, helping her peel out of her shirt, and his eyes found her perfect breasts, beads of water still clinging to her skin, and he helped himself to them like a man in the desert. Her skin was soft and cool and humming. He twirled his tongue around her semi-hard nipple, erecting it fully and tugging gently, and she writhed underneath him, gasping and groaning. He knew he should be tender. They been through a lot this year, but he couldn't help himself. He wanted to remind them of who was here first.

"Daryl." She dug her nails into the tender flesh of his neck, and he released the other nipple, smirking at her.

"Yes, Carol?" He pushed drying hair away from her temple.

"You'll have the rest of forever to play with my breasts, okay? Please, I want you." She searched his eyes. "I need you."

Fuck, that expression... He'd been longing to see it for a year now, and there it was. She wanted him— _needed_ him—and it was beyond lust and bodily needs. There was softness there, an affection that had always been there but wasn't held back or hidden. God, it was beautiful. She was fucking gorgeous.

His boxers were easier to get off than her panties, and he threw hers into the lake. _Fucking things_ , he hoped to never have to remove them again. He'd pretty much secured never having to again but still fuck you, Walmart brand panties shits.

"You okay?" He studied her now that there was nothing between them and nothing to stop them but words. He wanted to be sure this time.

"I'm with you," she answered, "I'm...incredible."

He kissed her once more, shifting her knee on his hip and entering her, and he moaned as her wet walls embraced him. He had to break the kiss to suck in air and keep from losing everything. It'd been a while, so he needed just a minute. God, her body wasn't making it easy. She felt like heaven. Shit, he'd stop sinning right then if he could find heaven like her after life was over.

"You okay?" Carol cupped his cheek when he didn't move or open his eyes.

"Yeah, I'm..." He shook his head and smiled, eyes opening to find hers. "I'm okay."

She kissed him softly, and that seemed to be the end of all the soft and sweetness they had. Daryl tried to be gentle like he had the first time, like how a first time should be between a couple, but she wasn't having it. Her hips forced him to change his pace until he was pounding into her so hard their bodies smacked together. For a second he was worried he'd hurt her, but at her expression and how her nails dug into his back, he knew that wasn't the case. He had to resist a smirk at how they both liked it hard. Fuck, this girl was going to be the death of him. Buried in her as deeply as he was, he didn't care. She could drag him to hell and throw into the fires at this rate, and he'd thank her for it.

––

When Carol came, her back arched off the blankets, her chest thrust forward, and her mouth called his name. He knew his own release was coming, and while she was protected, he didn't want to risk it. She seemed to have the same idea, because she was struggling to tell him to pull out, lost in her bliss, and fuck, her saying it almost made him come right then. He didn't know that could so hot, but there it was.

He came onto the rocks, arms supporting his body as he panted and saw colors behind his eyes. He was sure he'd forgotten how to breathe somewhere along the line as his climax washed through him, dragging him so deeply down into the sweet waters he wasn't sure he'd surface.

Then her hand was curled around his forearm, he opened his eyes and found her gazing at him with such love. He moved beside her, his back hitting the blanket, and he was panting hard. He felt cloth tossed over his body as she snuggled closer to him, burying her face in his shoulder. He wanted to hold her, but he was pretty sure she'd fucked him numb. God, did he have bones? He nearly laughed until he felt something cold run down his shoulder. She was...crying? Oh, no. Crap, he'd been too rough. He'd—

"I'm sorry." She shook her head and buried her face even more into his shoulders so he couldn't see her face.

"What's wrong?" He frowned and set a hand over hers on his chest. "Was it me? Did I—?"

"No. No." She shook her head and sobbed. "It's not you."

"I...I'm sorry."

"Don't be." She smiled through her tears, and he felt it on his shoulder. "That was incredible. It's what I've been wanting for a long time now. I don't know why I'm crying..."

"I didn't hurt you, did I?" He paled. "I didn't—"

"No, no. You were...perfect." She squeezed her eyes shut. "I think...I'm just emotional."

He rolled over so she would have to leave her hiding place and caught her cheek. "Don't hide."

She snuffled. "I...wanted my first time to feel like that, so I think it's just a delayed reaction or something."

"It didn't feel like that before?"

"Not those kinds of feelings," she explained. "I...wanted my first time to be with someone I deeply care about, and while it wasn't our first time, it was the first time with me feeling this way about you. It's overwhelming."

"C'mere." He wrapped his arms around her, and she scooted to be against him. "I'm here."

"I know." She shuddered and snuggled against him.

He kissed her forehead and rubbed her back. "Could I ask you a question?"

"Yeah." She snuffled. "What is it?"

He was about to ask if she had any thoughts about that night, but at her eyes on him, he couldn't. He shook his head, he eyes reflected her smile, and he kissed her nose. He held her until her tears stopped, and soon exhaustion overcame them both. They fell asleep there on the bank, wrapped up in the blankets and each others bodies. The sound of light breathing and crickets filled the night air, not to mention the screaming cicadas.

– – –

"If they drowned each other, I was never here." Paul climbed the rocks the following morning when the pair had not returned to camp nor was a note found. "But if they did it, you own me a foot message."

"We never made any deals." Caesar caught up to him. "I doubt they did anything. I mean, they were fighting. That silent fighting that kills people and marriages."

"Hey, I've had some pretty hot silent fight sex, so..."

Caesar was about to respond when Daryl and Carol were spotted just ahead having breakfast. They were eating apples and berries Daryl had found, Carol was all wrapped up in his flannel, and he looked like he'd slept on a hard rock. They were dressed and laughing, so it was a good sign. They might be able to salvage this trip after all. After five days of fighting, it would be a miracle.

"Hey!" Caesar waved to them.

Carol covered her mouth to keep from spitting out food at the jarring greeting. She turned and waved back, smiling at the excitement on his face. "Hey."

He and Paul joined them, Caesar helped himself to the food, Carol giggling at that and offered him some berries. Paul was too busy taking in the nail marks on Daryl's neck and the faint red mark on Carol's collarbone. He smiled to himself, pleased, and Daryl noted that look before chosing to ignore it to keep the mood light. He'd had a good chat with Carol last night, and...well, this morning had been pretty good, too. Well, save for the pull out. He almost didn't...

"You worry too much," Carol chided Caesar. "He's the father of my kid. Why would I kill him? I need all the support I can get."

"You don't know how bad the tension was last night. It was like a cold war between parents." He retorted, "I thought I'd have to help you bury his body."

"Hey," Daryl cut in. "What the hell? You'd just let her kill me?"

"She has a kid."

"I have the same kid."

"Do you really want to take his mom away, too?" Paul jested. "Think of the trauma."

He rolled his eyes and bit into his apple. "You're both assholes."

"I try." Paul winked at Caesar, and he chuckled. "Let's get back to camp. We have a lot to do today."

"I need a shower." Carol stood up. "I smell like lake water. I feel like...grim."

"It's not a long walk." Paul had to resist the urge to comment that maybe it wasn't just lake water that she smelled like.

Daryl cleared the remaining fruit with Caesar's help, Carol walked ahead with Paul, and Daryl kept his eyes narrow at the sun's blinding rays, and Caesar asked him how everything went last night. He could avoid his eyes betraying him, but the smile couldn't be helped. It was automatic, and Caesar was surprised that Paul had been right. Daryl tried to lie about it, but he wasn't buying it. He decided to let him know it was their business and things were okay between them. Very okay, and Caesar had to roll his eyes at that, letting out a disgusted noise at the suggestive look he gave Carol's backside.

He scratched his head and said, "Dude, if you need condoms, let me know."

"Why do you always offer me condoms?"

He chuckled. "You're the only one with a partner who can get pregnant here."

"Still feels like Merle," he mumbled, "but thanks, man."

"Don't mention it. Really, don't, and depose of them. If my dad finds out about this, he'll kill us all."

"Yeah, let's keep it private." He nudged his arm. "Speaking of, could we have the RV tonight?"

"What, you didn't enjoy the wildlife?" He smirked.

"No, I wanted to make her dinner," he informed him. "With the stove. She doesn't like trout, and I know I saw a couple packs of hamburger meat and stuff. I can throw together a dinner for all of us, but I want to spend some time alone with her."

"Oh. Aww." He sent Daryl a warm look that earned him an eye roll. "You're so in love with her."

"Nah, just ridin' the high of morning sex." He smirked now.

"I didn't want to know that." He thought about how Carol handed him berries. Where else had her hands been that morning? "Ew."

"Relax. After everything I hide and the gap I let build between us, I spoiled her. She deserved it." And he deserved to give those soft breasts full attention. "Besides, she has disinfectant gel in her pants pockets."

"Thank God."

"Yeah, yeah." He chewed on his thumbnail. "Creep."

"What? How?"

"You know how."

Caesar heaved a sigh and went off on a rant, Daryl laughed, because it reminded him of Merle trying to be sensible. He knew Carol and Paul had looked back at them, but he didn't look at her or him. He wanted to absorb how he felt right now. He wanted to breath it all in before they were back home and reality reminded him that not everything was perfect and good like it was now. He would think on that later, but for now it was summer. He would let it be summer.

––

"Dinner was really good." Carol washed the dishes while Daryl dried them. "It's better than the trout."

"I thought you'd like it." He smiled to himself. "There's some leftovers, so we can have them again."

"Will we have company?" She eyed him.

"Do you want company?"

"Sort of." She turned back to the dishes. "I want to talk to my friends and my sister. I have so much to tell them, and it's about pretty much everything. I'm sorry."

"Why are you so sorry all the time? It doesn't bother me."

"I know you like to keep your personal life...personal. That's why I'm sorry." She finished with the last plate and handed it over. "I want people to know we're together—for real, this time—and it's...good. Well better than good it's...amazing." She bit her lip to try and contain her smile.

He dried the plate and set it in the cabinet, setting a still damp hand on her hip and pulling her closer, kissing her. She wrapped her arms around his neck and pushed up on the tips of her toes, and he softened the kiss before pulling away. "I want you tonight."

She blushed. "Um...wait." She set a hand on his arm. "We need to talk about that."

"I didn't mean sex," he stated. "I just wanted to hold you."

Her blush worsened. "Oh. I—I knew that. I just—God, why am I blushing?" She laughed nervously.

"Because you're adorable." He caught her chin and kissed her once. "We do need to talk tonight."

"All right." She smiled at him. "I'm going to change for bed."

"I'll be back there shortly."

"Okay." She headed to the bedroom and changed into her night clothing, stretching out and seeing the little satin outfit Paula had given her, and she looked behind her before closing the door and taking off her shorts and pizza club t-shirt from grade school. She folded them and set her panties and bra beside them in her suitcase, moving it back to its resting place and pulling it over her head.

It was a thin, purple nightgown that looked more like a mini dress, and the entire chest area was lace. It was uncomfortable and smelled like the store still, but at least Paula didn't give her a handmedown. She ran her hand down the front of it and wished she had a mirror, but she'd just have to wing it. She felt kinda sexy. Though she'd felt sexy for a while now. She worked that out with Denise, and she didn't need someone else to tell her so. Okay, she went for cute and pretty, but it was a work in progress.

She heard the door open, she turned around and placed her hands on her hips, smiling sweetly at Daryl, who did a double take with his jaw on the floor, and he held up a finger before heading back out. She frowned until she heard him call, "Hey, Caesar, you still got those condoms?!"

She threw her head back and laughed, Caesar and he had some words, and then he came running caught. She was still laughing as he lifted her up into his arms, her thighs locked on his hips, and she rested her arms on his neck, still grinning, and he held up the four pack box Caesar had given. She accepted the pack from him and kissed him deeply.

"They're ribbed for her pleasure!" Paul shouted through the window.

Carol snickered and rolled her eyes at the window, seeing they were also lubricated. "What, do they glow in the dark, too?"

"It ain't gonna be dark." Daryl ran his eyes over her. "I wanna see all of you—in that and out."

Her face burned, though her body was already pulsing, and she knew that the sweet and soft would be a rare thing between them. And she loved it.

– – –

The rest of the trip was spent with hikes and fishing and both couples having fond memories down by the lake. Neither one knew of their time spent there, but they had fun together as friends and in the water, and it was full of memories they wouldn't forget. It was a trip they all needed, and it was trip that ruined a few sets of sheets. Daryl and Caesar both tried to make a plan on how to tell Amaro why his grandmother's set of sheets were...burned by mistake, and Carol and Paul both were wondering what the brown and pink stains were. Carol thought it looked purple and wondered what the hell they did. She almost asked—and so did he—but it was better they didn't know. They already knew too much by having to call dibs on the RV at night—though the lake was the second go-to—but they were bonded. Carol felt closer to all of them, and she was happy. She felt...like a normal teenager again, and she couldn't wait to get home and see her baby! God, she missed him so much. She loved the practice with his dad, but she wanted to kiss his face and hold him and see his face.

They were all glad to hit the road, Daryl and Carol drove the car back, and Paul and Caesar returned the RV. Daryl and Carol picked up Clay on the way, Mel had an appointment to get to, but she was going to be over soon to see them, and Carol embraced her and thanked her for watching him.

Daryl dropped Carol off at home to put away her things and Clay's, and she was going to meet him in an hour or two at his place. She kissed her boys goodbye, lingering on her boyfriend, and Axel had to remind her he was still in view.

"Get home safe." She stepped back. "I'll see you soon, baby. Okay?"

"We'll get there fine." He nodded at Axel. "I'll bring her home around eleven?"

"Why? It's clear she's comfortable breaking my rules." He crossed his arms, and Carol pressed her lips together. "I don't approve of this, but she can stay over."

"Really?" Carol gasped. "Dad, are you okay?"

"I'd rather know you're with him than worry you're not." He sighed. "And I found a good poker group, so if you're with Daryl, Clay will be Daryl." And Clay was the biggest boner killer in the world. Any noise Carol made that wasn't laughter, he wailed. It brought Axel such joy—unless they were home. Then it just came back to chew on his head.

"Should have figured." She shook her head. "I'll see you guys later."

Daryl left them and headed back home with Clay, carrying him inside, juggling Clay's diaper bag and his own duffel bag. He managed to get inside, sliding down the narrow hall and knocking on the door. Merle opened it and smiled a bit at him, eyes moving to Clay.

"Damn, he's big."

"Here, take him." He loosened his grip, Merle reluctantly took the boy, and Daryl closed the front door. "He's almost six months. 'Course he's big."

"He looks...like you." He smiled at the boy who was staring at him with wide and curious blue eyes, his little chin glistening with drool from chewing on his fist, and his dark hairs formed damn adorable curls by his ears. He had a good weight, too. Little chunky thing. _Damn, he's sweet, too. That little smile._ "He's cute."

Clay continued to smile at his uncle and touched his chin with a wet palm, and Merle was just happy it wasn't a wet bottom touching him.

"That'd be Carol." He grabbed his bag, leaving Clay's on the couch, and he headed back to his room.

"Speakin' of, you two have a good trip?" Merle called back to him.

"Yeah," he called back, dropping the bag by his hamper and changing into a t-shirt, his skin almost exhaling at the removal and air conditioning.

"And the lake?"

"Yeah." He tugged the shirt down and paused, stepping out into the hall to see Merle smirking at him. "Wait, I never mentioned—"

"I know."

"Then how?" He narrowed his eyes.

"I gave Caesar the location. It was the fuck spot in my day." He chuckled. "Guess that hasn't changed."

"Let me get this straight." Daryl collected his son from his brother, Clay gripped the collar to his shirt and fussed slightly. Daryl hushed him under his breath and brushed a kiss to his forehead, eyes on his brother. "You sent me there to get laid?"

"Both of you, but pretty much."

"Thanks for lettin' me handle my life."

"At your rate, your balls would have fallen off." He plopped down onto the couch. "You're welcome."

He opened his mouth to argue that statement, but there was nothing, so he sucked air through his teeth and looked at his son. Clay smiled at him, touching his face with his a fist, and Daryl sighed with a smile following. "Thank you."

"Yep."


	23. No Peace

_**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**_

––

Carol met Andrea, Lori and Michonne at The Lovely Bean for coffee the day before their junior year for the first time all summer. Michonne had to take a short trip to see her family in Alabama, and Andrea and Amy were taught some important work skills with a small boot camp, and Carol stayed over at Daryl's a lot. Like a lot. Like she had a drawer now.

Michonne ordered four frozen caramel coffee with whipped cream, and Lori picked put some scones. They were bitter and would taste good with the frozen coffee, and they joined their friends.

"How was the cruise?" Carol sipped her drink and dug out the chocolate scone from the mixed batch.

"It was amazing." Michonne was awestruck. "The island we went to were so beautiful and full of culture and really, really good food. I'm sure I put on ten or more pounds."

"All in the curves." Lori eyed her bitterly, nibbling on her blueberry scone. "You bitch."

Michonne laughed.

"We had a great time together with my family," Andrea added. "We have so many pictures to show you guys. They came out awesome, and I left them at home, so tomorrow at lunch."

"Ugh, don't mention school." Lori picked at the scone. "I don't even want to think about it."

"Sorry." Andrea laced her fingers through Michonne. "So, how about you guys? What happened for you?"

"I spent time with my mom," Lori remarked. "We went to this little spa camp trip for four weeks. We traveled a little just the two of us, and we bonded. I'm happy to say I am bonded with my mother. She's pretty awesome."

"And Rick?" Michonne bit into the raspberry scone.

"I saw him not once, but we have plans to meet for a movie. I'm hoping it's more than a movie. It's been like three months pretty much, and I really missed him." She huffed. "If it's just a movie, I might kill a man."

Carol giggled. "Calm down."

"Oh, please, you spent the summer having hot sex by a lake." She rolled her eyes. "Don't talk to me."

Michonne chocked on the scone, and Andrea gasped at her, and Carol couldn't help but smile.

"It's always the silent type." Andrea wagged a finger at her. "You and Daryl? Seriously?"

"By a lake?" Michonne pressed.

"More like every other night, and sometimes we just cuddled." She felt her face turning red, and that heat crept down her neck. They were in public for God's sake, Lori!

"He cuddles? That's really cute." Andrea gripped her hand supportively. "Did he...you know?"

"He did." She laughed softly. "He was surprisingly into it."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa." Michonne and Lori both looked affronted. "You know her kinks?"

"Wow, we spent too much time together." Andrea cut a look at Carol who nodded back. "She just told me. It's not like we kept it a secret. It's not like just randomly state what we want our partner to do to us."

"Okay, but we're asking." Lori turned to her sister. "What did you want him to do that he was into?"

Carol exhaled. "I wanted him to...do a certain thing to me."

"Really? Girl, stop, that is too much information for my poor Christian ears." Michonne blinked blankly at her. "God smite you."

"I think Daryl already did." Andrea laughed when Carol glared at her. "Well, with his tongue."

Lori stared at her. "Do you mean to tell me you like anal? And with tongue?"

"Just his tongue," Carl replied.

"I need bleach." Lori buried her face in her eyes. "I will never ask again about your sex life."

"I'm not surprised." Michonne smirked at her. "I figured he'd like one or two, probably both. Did it lead into anything?"

"Okay, enough about me. How about anyone else?" Carol begged. "Yes, Daryl and I are having sex, but it's not a big deal. Lori and Rick are."

"Once." Lori crossed her legs. "And I have no child with him."

"Whatever. It's still sex. It's between me and Daryl, okay? I love you guys, but maybe when we're older and drink wine on Saturday nights, we can go into details and exchange tips. For now, let's just talk about something else."

"Why, does it turn you on?" Michonne mused.

"Ugh."

––

Carol and Lori went home together, Mom and Mel were in the kitchen making cookies and bread, Dad was at work, and Clay was playing with a stuffed carrot. Merle made some comments about letting play with the stick, but they ignored him. It was just a habit at this place.

"Hey, girls." Karen smiled a greeting. "You were gone a long time. Did you have fun?"

"We definitely caught up with friends." Lori helped herself to a cookie and sat at the island. "Ooh, heaven."

"Thank you." Mel beamed. "I thought it was time I passed these cookies down to Karen."

"That, and we needed to talk about some things." Karen inhaled and looked at her girls. "You know I love you guys."

"Oh, my God." Lori dropped the cookie and covered her mouth, eyes filling with tears. "You're sick?"

"What?" Carol exclaimed. "No, no, no."

"I am not sick." Karen set her hands on the counter, Mel put an arm her in support, and she saw Axel standing behind the girls with Clay, and she smiled sadly. "Hey."

Carol and Lori jolted at the sight of their dad—who was supposed to be at work, working—he nodded at Karen, and they were confused. Axel told Carol to sit down, too, and she complied, looking at Lori, who shrugged with wide eyes, and they focused on their parents and grandmother.

Axel helped himself to a cookie, Clay tried to bite it, but he moved it away. Clay fussed, and Carol smiled at them. Karen took Clay and held him so he wouldn't start crying over the cookie and in hopes he could give her some strength. Seventeen years with this weighing on her. It was hard to rip the bandaid off.

"So, you girls know that our marriage isn't like everyone else's?" Axel leaned against the counter, biting into the cookie.

"Yeah, you're like super virgins. Only not him, 'cause of Carol." Lori dusted her cookie off and ate it, glad the counter was clean and no one was sick or dying.

"Thanks, Lori." Karen provided a tight smile showing no teeth. "And yes. We don't have sex or have ever had sex. We're not in love either. We never were."

"Angela has my heart." Axel smiled faintly. "And Karen hasn't...found that someone yet."

"Found someone?" Lori swallowed. "You're married. She can't find someone."

"Wait, why did you get married?" Carol shook her head. "If you don't like each other."

"No, we like each other and love each other," Axel corrected. "This is my best damn friend in the world. I wouldn't trust anyone to raise you girls."

"Raise...us?" Lori moistened her lips. "You got married for us?"

Karen nodded her, looking down at Clay lovingly before sharing that look with her girls. "I was dying after my baby died and Dawn died, and...I needed you, Lori. I needed someone to love, but I was seventeen. I couldn't adopt you. I wanted to so bad, but...I was a kid, too."

"Mom." Her eyes burned at that confession.

"I fostered you," Mel rubbed Karen's shoulder. "Let this one over all the time to keep an eye on her and so she could be with you. I knew she was your mom the moment she held you. You saved her life, kid. Be proud of that."

Karen set her hand over Mel's on her shoulder. "I asked Axel to marry me."

"Eww!" Carol cringed. "He was like twenty-three!"

"Yep, always the old guy." He ran his tongue over his teeth. "And I had the same reaction if anyone cares."

"I was going on eighteen," Karen hastily added. "I married him a week after that birthday, and we adopted Lori five months later."

"How was that wedding?" Lori dryly inquired.

"Lovely." Karen smiled fondly. "It was at city hall, but we went out to dinner with you girls, and he let me have some champagne to honor the commitment we made that day to each other and you girls. We...danced, and we went to Dawn's grave with you both with flowers. We spent hours there, talking and remembering Dawn. It was one of my favorite nights with us as a family."

"Aww." Carol set a hand over her heart. "That's sweet."

"It was." Axel pushed off the counter. "For background information, you know I've been with my job since I was seventeen. I worked my way up and had a decent check and standing within the business. That played into adopting Lori—that, and my parents. They were good people and helped the community. They were well known and well liked. Plus, my credit is stable and high. It helped."

"So, you were the winning factor in my adoption?" Lori was trying not to laugh. "Seriously?"

"The paperwork behind the man, yes." He flicked a chocolate chip at her, and she squealed and dodged it. "Be happy it worked."

"That, and my letter of recommendation." Mel winked at the girls. "I knew the social worker on the case. I buttered her up for him."

"I did awesome in that interview," Axel argued. "Karen did great, too, and Carol won her heart."

"You were two young idiots," Mel confessed. "You were an workaholic, and Karen was unstable. You looked good on paper, but you two were terrible in person. You were clearly not in love and mourning, and I had to pull some strings."

"Well, that just hurts." Axel dusted crumbs off the counter.

"But I did it, because I knew you two were made to be a team." She faced the girls. "They did all of this so you two would have two whole parents and bottomless love. They achieved that. Don't you think?"

"For a sham marriage," Lori agreed, "you are my parents. I love you guys."

"Seriously, we love you guys, and now it makes all kinds of sense, but... did something happen? Are you in love now?" Carol's throat dried out at that joke. "Are you?"

"No, kiddo." Axel looked at Karen. "We just wanted you to know. It's been eating at her for years now."

"Well, the skeleton is out. I'll think about this later with full attention and thoroughly processed it, but for now..." Lori hopped up. "Are there any cinnamon cookies?"

"You know it." Mel handed over the plate. "They're still warm."

"I love you so much." Lori hugged her and accepted a still warm cookie. "I'm gonna get fat and happy."

"I'm going to play with my son and look into the list of things Hershel needs me to do for my first week." Carol slid off the stool and accepted her son. "Thanks for telling us."

"Do you want to share anything? Hmm? It's an open floor. Anything?" Mel offered her a cookie, leaning against the counter. "Like why you have condoms?"

Her eyes widened, her skin lost all color, and she stammered with nervous chuckles, moving away but being held in place by her father. "Ummm..."

"You better marry that boy," Mel pointed a finger at her. "If he treats you good in bed and out of it, marry him."

"Oh, my God, I'm being scarred. Lori!"

"Not my horror session." She ducked out.

Axel kissed the back of her head. "Good luck." He accepted another cookie and walked out.

"It's not like we're...fooling around." Carol adjusted Clay on her hip. "And it's not like we're trying for another baby."

"I think you'd be so pregnant by now if that were the case." Karen placed the cookies onto the cooling rack and smiled at her. "We're not here to lecture."

"I am," Mel corrected. "I'm not like my husband, but I do think sex should be kept between serious relationships, not summer kicks."

"It's not for fun. I mean, it is fun, but it's not _just_ for fun." She rolled her eyes at her poor explanation. "We care about each other, and yes, we're hormonal, but it's more than that. I've never felt this way before, and it's real. I know he feels the same way about me, and we're building something real and precious. We're already a family through Clay, and now... I don't know exactly what we are, but it's more than boyfriend and girlfriend or lovers. I don't know if we'll last, but I do know if I were to wake up with him every day, I would die happy."

"Damn." Mel pursed her lips. "The sex must be good. It's been a while for me. Well...wait, how long have I been married?"

Karen busted out laughing, covering her mouth with her hand, and it coursed through her entire system. Deep-bellied laughter, and she couldn't catch her breath.

"See, get to be my age and it's all a punchline." She smiled at her. "You love that man, don't you?"

"I think so." She returned her smile. "I'm ready to."

"Oh, my girl, you were always ready to love him. It's him that's the problem. I wish you picked an uncomplicated man—eh. No, no, I wish he wasn't complicated, because he's easy on the eyes." She cleared her throat. "Anyway, it's a rough road you've entered, Carol. You're both so young, and life is long. It has years to throw hurtles at you, years to try and break you, but you keep that love burning, keep communicating and exploring each other and life, and you'll make it. I've seen a lot over the years, but rarely do I see men look at women the way that boy looks at you."

Her eyes stung at those words, and she hugged her. "Thank you, Grandma."

"I have always believed in you, so believe in him and in whatever struggles come your way—together as a couple and apart." She pinched her chin. "And make me a granddaughter in five years. Five, you hear me."

She laughed. "No promises."

"Someone give me a granddaughter again before I can't see her." She waved her eyes. "These ain't so good anymore."

"I think you're pretty great." Karen wiped her hands on a cloth. "And beautiful. Like grandmother, like granddaughter."

"And grandson." Axel strolled back in. "I'm going to pick up dinner. I want a pizza for some reason. Text me what you girls want." He departed without another word.

"Go play with that baby." Mel picked up the wooden spoon helped herself to the leftover dough. "He likes that carrot. I think it's the color."

"Maybe." Carol carried him downstairs with the carrot and a cookie.

"You." Mel pointed the spoon at Karen, who looked up. "Granddaughter."

"No." She set the cookie sheet in the sink.

"Well, Carol's too young. Lori will probably have a boy first, and Axel..." She rolled her eyes. "You want a baby. I know you do. I see you with Clay."

"I just love babies. I've raised two. I'm good."

"You're so young, Karen. You're falling in love. You're going to find that life already has plans made for you."

"So, what, I'm already pregnant then?" She arched a skeptical brow. "My birth control begs to differ."

"I know losing Stan was difficult. I was with you through the process, but you raised two beautiful girls. You're helping to raise a precious baby boy. Don't deny what you want. You denied yourself that man for two years. See how that went."

She pursed her lips and thought about that night. Carol and Lori had dates with Rick and Caesar, and she hung back with him to just hang out. They made plans, but he had to get some tests to grade. They just...finally gave in to lust and ending up having sex on his desk. A couple times before the janitor came in to clean. "Okay, you have a point."

"You've been having relations with him for almost a year now. He's a handsome man, I'll add. You'd have beautiful babies."

"Mel, please. I need... Just please. I love him, but—" She cut off and gasped. "Wait."

Mel smirked. "See?"

"No, I meant to say I _love_ you. I love _you._ " She shook her head. "Oh, God."

"Look, go and tell him that."

"No." She untied the apron and set it on the hook. "Please, I love you, but it's complicated."

"So is breaking up, because you're legally married to someone else. He knows the story, but how long until it gets under his skin? Sure, Axel hasn't slept in that bed since you slept with him, but it's hard to be in a relationship when you have a different man's last name."

"It's Dawn's last name, Mel. He took her name, and I think I know my relationship with Ty better than you."

"I know men. You haven't been with one in a serious relationship in years. Don't kid yourself."

"Don't push me to him!" she erupted. "I love him, okay? Great, but where does that go? My girls need me here. I need me here. I'm comfortable here. I've settled, and you want me to shake up my entire life. I'm not ready."

"Well, at least you've admitted you're settling here."

"No, I mean..." She hung her head and tossed her hands up to let them drop. "You won, Mel. You know everything, and I'm hiding. I'm still seventeen and shaken and stupid. Are you happy? Is that what you want me to say?"

"No, my girl. I want you to be happy. That's all I wanted since you came over to play with Dawn." She closed the space between them and hugged her. "You're happy here, but soon the girls will leave, and then what? Think of the future—your future—and then decided what you want to do next."

"I want to be here with them," she spoke through tears and guilt, pushing hair out of her face. "But I want him here with us. I do want babies, and I want them with him, but how can I have that? I have these almost grown babies with Axel, and I can't leave them. I can't."

"Life sucks." She smiled at her. "But I think your man will understand this issue. Talk to him. If he love you as much as I think, it'll work out just fine. You probably won't be able to walk when you leave his apartment with how much he loves you, but—"

"God, Mel!" She laughed despite the tears. "I'm not Carol. You don't get to do that to me."

"I'm not. I saw you limping when you came in last night."

She chuckled. "Hush, please. I don't want the girls to know about that."

"Fine, but be careful. The man teaches French. You know he's a romantic. That means big gestures and singing."

"He does sing to me sometimes. It's embarrassing, but it's sweet." She smiled. "He makes me happy, Mel. He really does."

"Let me get the wine, and you can tell me all about it. I bet Axel isn't the best for girl talk."

"No, he bails when I mention anything about our sex life. Even the little things. He's supportive, but he has his limits."

"I know. He's been my third kid for twenty plus years." She waved it away. "White or red?"

––

Caesar and Paul had been waiting for his dad to show, he lengthened his trip until today, and they were going to tell him the news of their relationship. They waited for for four hours, Paul was getting tired of waiting, so they gave up and went upstairs. There was nothing on TV to watch, so they put on a movie and it got ignore they started making out. Even more ignored when they began to have sex, and then Caesar ordered pizza.

Paul was sitting on his lap in his spare robe, Caesar stroking his exposed stomach with his thumb, and Paul was on his phone trying to figure out what the hell Maggie was talking about. They didn't hear anything until a suitcase hit the floor, and they both jumped.

Amaro and Flo stood in the doorway to his room, Paul didn't move because he knew Caesar was naked underneath him with his robe untied, and at Paul at least had boxers on. Caesar's boxers. They were in fact very comfy unlike this situation.

"Dad." Caesar tried not to look as mortified as he felt.

"I'll be downstairs." Flo waved to them and high tailed it out of there.

Amaro inhaled and cleared his throat. "Could you give a minute, Paul?"

"Sure..." He carefully stood up so Caesar could cover himself, and he went down the hall to the guest bathroom.

"Okay, so let me explain." Caesar stood up and tried to calm the situation.

"You're grounded."

"Dad, please—"

"No, please, you're grounded." He crossed his arms. "We've had this talk. I don't want you having sex in my house. You're may have the legal age of an adult, but you are my child. I don't want this happening again, do you hear me? I love you, mi luz, but this isn't acceptable."

"Me having sex, or me having sex with Paul? Because I'll continue to have sex with my boyfriend, whether it's in this house or not."

"It won't be in my house."

"Fine. It won't be here, but I care about him. We're together, and we're happy." He didn't notice how badly he was shaking until his dad began to frown. "What? You're gonna disown me or something? Because of Paul?"

"I don't think we're having the same conversation." He set a hand on his shoulder. "I don't care about the sex of the person you date, only that any sex does not happen in my house. You're my son, and be you gay or bi, I don't care. You won't be boning that young man in my house. Those are your grandmother's sheets!"

He laughed and felt tears falling down his face. "Did you just say bone?"

"Why are you crying?" He pulled him into his arms. "Don't cry."

"You're okay with me and Paul?"

"Why wouldn't I be? You're my son, and I know how challenging the heart can be. You love who you love, and what's in their pants doesn't matter. I know he makes you happy. I've noticed the change. If he makes you happy then good, but seriously, your grandmother's sheets! She made them by hand."

"I'm sorry. It just...happened." He stepped back.

"Did you use a condom at least? Or some type of lubrication? You're not bleeding back there, right?"

Now he looked mortified. "What?"

"Well, I saw you two kissing, and it looked very intense, so I looked this up. I wanted to be sure of what could happen in case you messed up."

"You...saw us kiss?"

"Months ago. I've been waiting for you to come to me, but it's fine. Doesn't hurt me at all that you felt you had to hide this." He inhaled deeply.

"Dad...that's weird and awesome." He grinned. "You looked that up for me?"

"I wanted you to feel safe in taking that next step. I suppose you talked to him instead, huh?" He nodded, and Amaro smiled. "He's a handsome young man. If he hurts you, I'm locking him out of our lives."

"Dad." He laughed. "Don't. He's a good guy. I really care about him, and we'll be careful with sex and stuff."

"Keep your door open."

"I will."

"And...just be careful. Sex is a huge step, and I know you two have taken that steps—several times, it seems—but it isn't all pleasure. This isn't an STD talk. This is love hurts talk. You were a virgin until him, so you must love him. You don't have to admit it. It's okay if you don't, but...be smart about this relationship. Don't let it take too much of your love. And if he turns out to be the one, ask Carol if she'll surrogate for you." He smirked at the end, and Caesar wanted to hide. "That was a joke."

"I know. Trust me, I know." He shook his head. "And thank you for being so understanding."

"Two weeks," Amaro held up two fingers. "Don't forget it. He can came over, and you can kiss him, that's fine, but nothing more."

"If you're here, trust me, we won't even kiss."

"Good. I'll let everyone know to keep an eye on you two for me when I'm not here."

"We'll just move to the car or something."

"If you're not joking, the pool house is acceptable. You might tear something if you have sex in the car. I learned that the hard way."

"Oh, God, please stop. I won't. We won't." He shuddered.

"Well, I will." Amaro smiled softly. "But I do have something to say."

"What horrors await?"

"I might be moving to Greece once you graduate." He studied his son. "Your uncle's business is having issues, and I know Pam can manage the store while I'm away. I don't know how long I'd be over there, but I'm really considering it."

His heart jumped up to his throat, and he couldn't speak. He shook his head, whines in place of words came through his lips, and he fell back onto his bed.

"I know it's sudden, but he needs my help, and Greece is lovely. I think I might have met someone there I really could come to love one day, but I won't be leaving until you graduate, so who knows."

"You're leaving me for some woman?" He picked at his nails. "Wow."

"I'm not leaving you. I love you, but he needs me more than you ever did. You have been a grown man for weeks now. I know you can raise yourself and find a college. I know you'll do great in whatever field you find yourself in. We're family, and we'll always be family, which is why I have to go. It won't be forever, and I'll visit. Or you and Paul can visit. The waters are great, and the food—"

"No, I don't want to visit you in Greece!" he snapped. "I don't care if his business fails, because he's too drunk to get off his ass! I want you here, Dad. You belong here with me and Flo and Pam. This is your place."

He tsked his tongue. "Three weeks, and it's not your decision. He needs help to recover, and I am all he has. You are...my cherished son, but you're a brat, too. The world isn't kind, and it demands much of us. You've been shielded from a lot of demands because of money and me, but there are some that came through—your mother being the most notable. And I am sorry you had to endure that. I am, but it's time to let go of being—"

"Don't. Stop talking to me, Dad. I don't want to hear it. Go or don't, but if it's about some woman, just say so."

He tucked his hands in his pockets and nodded. "It's her, Caesar. She was visiting your uncle, ironically. They're still good friends, and...we caught up. We..." He squeezed his eyes shut. "We drank together, and she told me a secret. One that I was hoping to spare you from."

"You...found Mom? In the middle of Greece? Why tell me this? She hasn't been in our lives for eight years. What's so important?"

"Because I want to be honest. There were a lot of feelings between us, and she told me you... I..." His voice broke, and Caesar frowned. "You have a sister, Caesar."

If he hadn't already been sitting, he would have collapsed right then. "I...have a what?"

"A sister. Perrie. She's...a little gangly thing, all legs and hair. She looks just like you."

"But I look like you," Caesar started and understood now why his dad was so upset. "Dad, I'm so sorry."

"Yeah, me too." He sat beside him and buried his face in his hands. "She was pregnant when she left me. She didn't know, and she couldn't come back. We were miserable. I tried to pretend like we weren't for your sake, but the love just changed. We were more like old friends, and there was no passion. I was holding her back from her dreams, and I had to let her go."

"But how are you sure this kid's yours?"

"Because when we called it quits, we drank. We drank six bottle of wine and half a scotch. Somewhere between those bottles, we had sex. We stopped buying condoms, so there was no protection, and... Well, it wasn't just the one time, so she's mine. She's ours."

"Where was I went this happened?"

"You...were at Flo's with her sons. We didn't want you in the house after we signed the divorce papers and packed up her things. We didn't even pack." He laughed. "We drank. We danced. We... Oh, well."

"If it was over, why do that again? Talk to her?"

"It...was overwhelming to see her again after all that time, and it wasn't like I meant to see her ever again. We talked, had a couple drinks and old times came up. It went from there."

"Great, you bonded with her." He rolled his eyes. "So, I have a sister, you said. What's her name again?"

"Perrie. She's...adorable. She looks just like your baby photos."

"She's eight then?"

"She is. Her birthday is right after yours by five days. I don't know how that happened, but she's amazing, Caesar. She can speak Spanish, English and Greek. She's an honor student—though she is home schooled—and she's so compassionate. She has the best smile I think I've ever seen."

"Great, bring her on home then." He stood up and went into his closet to change.

"I arranged for them to stay with us for a few weeks, actually. They'll be here next week." He studied the closet door but his son didn't reappear. "Perrie is so excited to meet you. She's heard all about you, but Sinna couldn't come here. We left things awkwardly, and money's tight. She has a nickname for you."

Still nothing.

"It's...a good nickname. She spent a whole week trying to find it, and it's very thoughtful." He neared the closet and found Caesar buttoning up a shirt silently. "She wants you to show her Georgia."

"Why don't you and Sinna do that? I'm sure you three will have fun." He grabbed his shoes and shoved is feet into them.

"I have to work, and Perrie wants it to be you. She's spent eight years growing to stories of you."

"It's not my fault you knocked up Mom before she left. It's not my fault she's been fed stories of me. She's not my family. She's yours and hers, but not mine. Mine is you and Carol and Daryl. Not some... not her. Not them." He brushed by him. "I have to go."

"Caesar—"

"I know. Three weeks, but it's for school."

Amaro lowered his eyes to the suitcase filed with homemade gifts Perrie had made for Caesar over the year. He wouldn't want them, and Amaro knew why. He hoped that wound had healed, but now it was only going to fester and puss. Though better Amaro have gone to Greece and met Sinna than Caesar. It would have destroyed him worse than telling him.

"Hey, you okay?" Flo set a hand on his arm.

"No, I just...hurt my child, and I'm about to hurt the one I hardly know, so no. I'm not."

She rubbed his arm. "I'll make you a drink."

"Tea, please. I... I've had enough of the hard drinks for now."

She nodded. "We'll discuss your brother's business then. I have some ideas."

"Thank you, Flo. You are...my powerhouse, I swear." He smiled at her and covered her hand with his. "I'm going to need you when she gets here. I can't face it alone."

"I'll hide the whiskey and bake some cookies." She smiled at him. "You have this. You really do."

"I'd say I'll try, but with you here, I'll do." He caught her chin and pulled her closer, kissing her softly. "Thank you."

"Don't mention it."

"I might have to." He looked over at the stairs. "We did jump over that broomstick together."

"I think you made me, because you were drunk, but I'll make us some tea. We'll get it sorted in an hour or so."

"Right." He cleared his throat. "If Paul's still here, invite him up with us. I want him to be on Caesar's side, and I need to explain some things." He watched her leave to do that and looked back into his son's room _. Sorry, mi luz, I have more news for you, and it all just crashed together. Apart from your baby sister, I've been in a three year long affair with Flo, and these Greece trips are lies so I can spend days on end with her there._ Some father, right? He didn't blame Caesar for walking out, but he'd make sure once he came back, he knew his place in Amaro's life. Perrie was new and precious, but Caesar was...his light. And Florence was...well, his heart. Or slowly becoming...

––

Carol greeted Daryl with a kiss when she opened the door, and he pressed her into the frame, his knee parting her thighs, and she opened her mouth to his and felt something wet hit her face. She groaned and turned away, Axel stood there with a water bottle and narrow eyes, and Daryl backed up.

"Hi tends to involve no tongue."

"But hello does." Carol wiped water off her face.

"Keep it at hi then." He shuffled back towards the living room.

"What are you doing here?" Carol hadn't called him or anything, but there he was no. It was nice to see him before bedtime, though her body was used it meaning other things. "What's going on?"

"I just wanted to get out of the house. Merle invited a friend over without tellin' me." He shook his head. "We have school tomorrow, so I thought I'd crash here."

"That'd be okay." She showed him in, taking his bag and trying to slip it downstairs while everyone was distracted.

"What's with the bag?" Karen eyed her daughter. "Carol, is that yours?"

"From the camping trip, yes." She nodded her head. "Why?"

"Because you gave Mel your duffel bag," Axel reminded her. "And yours is also green, not blue."

"My brother's takin' advantage of my hospitality," Daryl confessed. "I just need a place to stay for the night. Caesar won't answer his phone, and my brother needs this."

"So, you'll sleep downstairs with your girlfriend? You really think that's acceptable?" Axel eyed him.

"My son's downstairs, and I like to be close to him. Besids I've gotten used to that couch, and I respect your rules, sir. I do. Besides you were willin' to let her stay with me in the same situation." He stared back at Axel, who clicked his tongue and let this go. "Thank you."

"It's about that time now." Lori hopped up. "Hell comes for us all tomorrow—expect for you, Dad, who didn't invest in an education in teaching—so I'm out. Night everyone. I love most of you."

"So lovely." Karen wrapped an arm around her. "I love all of you. Good night."

"Good night." Carol waved. "Love you too."

Axel inhaled and knew that futon in his office was calling, and he had a long night ahead of him. "All right, good night you two. Remember the rules. Him, couch, you, bed."

"Dad, we're not animals. We do have control." Carol hugged her dad good night and said to Daryl, "Clay's already out for the night, so be quiet going down."

The family went to their respective rooms to sleep, Daryl closed the basement door once Axel was gone, and Carol set his bag on the couch. She was already in her nightclothes, so she had nothing to change, and he didn't look like he had nightclothes. From her experience, he did not.

"I'm sorry Dad's like that." She removed her slippers and sat on the bed. "I don't know why he bought that water bottle, but I'm throwing it away."

"It's fine." He removed his vest and stepped out of his boots, looking at her all soft in her pajamas. "Do you wanna just...do it for spite?"

She laughed softly. "You seriously think I'm that petty?"

"Aren't we all?" He smirked at her. "He did spray us with a water bottle."

She rolled her eyes, but they did it anyway. The excitement of getting caught made it so much more intense, staying mute was incredibly hard, because he was very into sex against the rules. She liked having sex in her own bed, where they had more room and it was just better. She also didn't have to borrow condoms from her friend. She had her own, and Daryl was forced to wear a lovely pink condom that he buried inside of her so deep and so hard, she had to bite his shoulder to keep her orgasm hushed.

He disposed of the condom and curled up against her, kissing her neck. "I like your bed."

"Why's that?" She laced her fingers through his over the blanket.

"'Cause you're in it." He kissed her shoulder. "And it's the first time we've been together like this somewhere familiar. I like it."

"Me, too."

Silent rolled over them, their legs entangling under the blankets, and Carol felt her body drain of energy. She looked at her interlocked fingers with Daryl's and murmured a good night, I love you. His eyes snapped open at the sound, and he looked at her.

"What?"

But she was out cold, snoozing away under the warmth of the blankets and his body, and he wasn't sure if she said it out of habit or...or if she meant it. He hoped she meant it. He meant it. Would mean it when he said it out loud, but... He hoped she meant it.

In the morning, Carol and Daryl woke up, and he greeted her with a foul-breathed morning kiss. She groaned and tried to escape, but he kissed her again, and she laughed, dealing with the breath for another sweet kiss. It was then Axel stomped down the stairs to get Clay to take to Annette on his way to work, and Daryl just had to hide by the side of her mattress, hoping Axel didn't walk around.

"Mornin', kids." He looked at the untouched couch. "Where's Daryl?"

"He went out to his car to get his phone." She shrugged a shoulder.

"Let's just go with that. Your mom made breakfast." He turned to the still sleeping baby. "I was hoping he'd be up."

"I can take him on my way," Daryl automatically suggested then kicked himself.

"Thanks." He glanced back at the empty space. "Ghost Daryl. I'll see you later tonight for a talk."

"Dad."

"Have a good day. You already had good night." He climbed back up the stairs, and once he closed the door, Clay woke up and began to fuss.

"Oops." Daryl stood up. "I'll get Clay. You can shower."

She slipped out of bed and kissed him once more. "You need to bring a toothbrush next time."

"You're hardly complainin'." He held her close as Clay's fussing slowed. "Think we can—?"

"No, I have to get ready. He'll start back up. Head out of gutter."

"Yeah, but you look so good in the mornin'."

"You're such a charmer." She groaned. "But we can't. It's the first day of school. Your first last day of school."

"Exactly, and sex is the best way to start the day."

"I feel like that's not true."

"It is. And we're both already naked, you have a stash that needs to be narrowed down, and that bed is lonely. It's so lonely."

She laughed. "It's seven o' clock. Do we really have time for this?"

He picked her up. "I'll be quick."

"Because I want that." She was placed back down on her bed, her legs hooked on his hips, and he was pulling out a random color from the bed. "I'm not even ready. We don't have time."

"I can get you ready." He bent down and scooted her butt to the edge of the bed, lifting her legs over his shoulders, and he licked his lips before he buried his face between her legs. Her fingers weaved through his hair, and he knew he had to be quick, but damn. He felt like an addict when it came to her. He'd get a handle on it—tomorrow.

––

"Wow, you guys are late." Michonne stood by her locker during break as Carol and Daryl joined them.

"No, we got here only ten minutes late, but the office had some issues our homerooms." She rolled her eyes. "We had...a big breakfast. I'm sure Lori told you, and Clay would not go to Annette easy."

"Yep, and I gotta find my locker." Daryl kissed her. "I'll see you guys later."

"What kind of big breakfast is cereal and toast?" Michonne narrowed her eyes. "And isn't shirt his?"

"I like his scent, so I borrowed it." She cleared her throat and forced a laugh. "Oh, right, my locker. I should try and find mine too."

"Uh-huh." She watched her hurry off and shook her head. In reality, Michonne also needed to find her locker. This one was Andrea's since Michonne's locker number didn't exist. Let the hunt begin.

School went by quickly, Carol had to head to Hershel's by four, and Daryl had to be at work by four-thirty, and they'd carpooled. The clinic was only five minutes away from the high school, so they had time to kill. They talked about their new classes in the backseat of her car, which was spacious and very comfortable. Thanks, Grandpa.

Daryl ran his hand up her leg and under her skirt as she spoke, her thighs resting over his lap, her feet on the seat. "Yeah, I took his class last year. It was kinda cool. He's real hands-on, so you'll get a lot of grades for just...doin' labs and stuff."

"That's great, because I'm awful at actual book work. Lori and Andrea are in that class, but only Lori's on my team. It kinda sucks, but at least we can wave to each other." She made a list of extra supplies she would need. "How about you? AP and honors, if I saw correctly."

"You did." He found a divot in her leg and traced it. "It's a lot to take on, but I'll be fine. I have a tutor in the first class to help me, and I know some online chats that'll get me through my second and third. Forth is easy, and I don't even have to pay attention."

"That's a scar from a bike accident." She needed some red sharpie, not the several black like she bought. "A stick caught in the wheel, and I fell over off and hit a chipped piece of gravel."

"Ouch." He moved his hand. "Is it okay that I'm touchin' you? I didn't ask."

"It's okay." She smiled at him. "But no funny business. Seriously, I mean it."

"No, I'm good. This mornin' was..." He cleared his throat to try and not think about it. "I wish I woke up next to you more often."

"So we can be late to school? And dropping our son off?"

"Yeah." He smirked. "You know you like it, too."

"It's not...practical. We have school and work, and we need to be on time for both. You have college next year, and it's important to keep up your attendance." She tucked the list into her notebook. "And we need some control. That trip spoiled us."

"Well, I have a couple late shifts comin' up, so bubble pops then." He pulled her closer, sliding his hand down her leg. "Wanna make out?"

She rolled her eyes. "You are insatiable."

He looked over her shoulder and frowned. "Hey, isn't that that Dwight kid?"

She turned slightly in the seat. "Yeah. That's weird. Clubs don't start until the fourth week of class."

"Maybe he forgot a book or somethin'." Daryl didn't like the feeling in his stomach. "We should get goin'."

"Let's get some food before work." She opened the door. "I'll buy you a burger, extra onion, a bit of mayo, and a sweet tea."

"Treat me this good, and I'll never leave." He leaned in the doorway once out of the car, wrapping his arms around her and tugging her skirt down further in the back.

"You mean that?"

He kissed her. "I mean that."

"It's creepy and possessive, but sure." She laughed at his expression and stepped out of his arms. "Let's go. I want to be early on my first day."

"You're gonna do great."

"I hope so." She walked around to the driver's side of the car and climbed inside, looking at the high school in front of them. "It's your last first day. How do you feel?"

"Ask me when it's my last day."

– – –

"Hey, Carol, good to see you." Hershel shook her hand, and she smiled back at him. "You look lovely."

She had traded in Daryl's shirt for a blouse. "Thanks."

"Maggie's gonna show you the ropes today, so just follow her lead. If you have any questions, ask her or me. Annette has Clay at the homestead, so if you want to check in, Beth has a video chat set up. It's all her."

She chuckled. "Thank you, sir. I'll find Maggie then."

"She's in the back."

"Thanks."

She met Maggie and began her first day of learning. It was very different from the store, but Maggie was great at showing her everything. She liked having someone her own age teaching, and it helped to know her little bit through Paul. Carol asked after him, and Maggie wasn't thrilled with him. He was dodging his work at the farm to spend time with Caesar, and his mom was going to cut that out. They needed help, and he offered. Carol felt bad for Caesar, but it was what it was. They'd figure it out.

"Okay, so I'll finish this up for today, so why don't you grab Clay and head home?" Maggie tucked hair behind her ear.

"No, it's fine. I'll help. I mean, everyone else has left. I don't want you to be alone."

Maggie pressed her lips and nodded, holding the clipboard over her chest. "This is sweet, but I'm fine. I'm used to it."

"But you don't have to be. I'm paid to do this." She searched her eyes. "Do you not want my help?"

"No, no, it ain't you." She sighed. "Okay, honestly, Glenn is coming over. He helps me with this, and we get dinner after."

"Oh." She stepped back. "I'm sorry. I'll get out of your hair."

"No, there's no rush. I just...wanted you to know. I'm not tryin' to rid of you, because I don't like you or anythin'. I just want to see my boyfriend. My dad complicates things, so we do this, but I'm gonna make him face it. Glenn's...sweet. He's gentle and funny and a little geeky-looking, but I'm sure he'll grow out of it."

"He's cute."

"Yeah." She smiled widely.

"I'll go. See you tomorrow?"

"No. Paul and I gotta work the farm, but I'll be back Thursday." She tapped her pen on the clipboard. "Kiss Frannie for me."

"I will." She waved and headed to collect her things, locking out on the time clock by the door, and she spotted Daryl by the door. She chuckled and jogged out to meet him. "Hi." She kissed him briefly, slipping her badge into her pocket. "What are you doing here?"

His eyes were rimmed with red, and he was shaking.

"Daryl?" She held his cheeks and lifted his face. "What's wrong? What happened?"

"They... they arrested him." He began to sob, and he wrapped his arms around her. His entire body shook against hers, his voice was deeper and softer, and his hands dug into her. It wasn't like this morning when they were in bed together; it was desperate and urgent. He needed someone to hold onto to, someone who wouldn't be ripped away from him. "They just took him away."

"What?" Her heart was shattering with every shake his body emitted, her arms firmly holding him as if she could reverse the damage, but there was nothing she could do here. Simply hold him and listen. "What happened?"

"Merle..." He fell to his knees, his hands holding her hips, and he buried his face into her belly. "They arrested him!"


	24. Bad Habits

_**Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot.**_

––

Carol managed to get Daryl back to home after picking up Clay, she texted Lori to come and help her, and Lori didn't ask for any information. She picked Clay up out of his car seat, and Carol helped Daryl inside. Mom and Dad were in the living room, and Karen shot up to help her with Daryl, rubbing his back in support. She started to ask what was going on, but Axel told her to was the news report.

"Today was meant to be a great day and start for Kingdom Road Campground, but what occurred was anything but. Today while our hard-working men and women were preparing the groundwork for the Campground, a body was found..."

Carol's heart began to pound, Daryl moved away from Karen and her, covering his ears and shuddering, and Carol looked at the decayed bones displayed before her.

"...we were able to confirm this is the body of William Dixon..." Carol gasped and covered her mouth with her hand. "...his son, Merle Dixon, has confessed to the murder and burial of his father..."

Axel flicked the TV off and looked over at Daryl who was curling up smaller and smaller on the floor. "I'm not gonna ask any questions. You can stay with us."

"He couldn't have done it," Daryl murmured. "He couldn't have... He left. He left. I know he left... I saw him pack his bags..." Didn't he? Didn't he?!

"I'll take Clay up to my room." Karen set a hand on Carol's shoulder to get her attention. "Why don't you make some tea?"

"I don't want tea," Daryl seethed. "I don't need fucking tea!"

At the venom and volume in his voice, Clay fussed, and at his father's distress, he began to shriek—loudly—his little face turning red as tears filled his eyes, and he was reaching for Daryl. Daryl could only flinch, and his eyes fell on the six month old who was sobbing big tears and still trying to reach him. He could see Lori stepping back and trying to urge Clay she was enough by taking his hands and holding them, but Clay didn't want her.

"I—I'm sorry. I'm sorry." He pushed himself onto his feet and stepped towards Lori and Clay. "Let me have him."

"It's fine." Lori held him close. "I have him. He'll calm down once I give him his bed time milk."

He stared at her with his arms still extended outward for his son who she used to willingly and quickly hand over prior to this moment. His blue eyes fulled at her reaction, the way her body was recoiled away from him, and he asked again. "Let me have him, Lori."

"Lori." Carol studied her sister when she flat out refused to do so. "Give him Clay. It's who he wants."

Clay only cried louder and louder with his dad in reach, his little chest sputtering when he gasped in air, and still Lori didn't hand him over. Daryl lowered his arms and scoffed, and Lori averted her eyes. She simply whispered into Clay's hears to try and sooth him, but she wouldn't give him up. Carol hand to walk over to her and take him carefully from her sister, giving her sister a disgusted sneer before letting Daryl take Clay, who began to hiccup and calm in his dad's arms. Daryl smoothed down his curly hairs and held him on his chest, Clay could hear his heartbeat, and soon he was just whimpering. Daryl rubbed his back and didn't look at Lori or anyone but his son.

"Lori—"

She took off upstairs before Carol could say anything more, Karen told her she'd talk to her, and Axel blew out a pregnant breath before nodding.

"I'll make some tea and his bottle."

"Thanks, Dad." Carol turned to Daryl and their son. "Aww, he's already going to sleep."

"Yeah, guess so." He snuffled and chewed his bottom lip.

"I have homework, so you can lie with him on my bed. I'll put him in his crib before I go to sleep."

"Would you?"

"Of course." She brushed hair out of his face. "Why don't you take him downstairs?"

Daryl carried their son downstairs, Carol told Dad no milk was needed and helped him prepare some tea, and they said good night once it was done. Dad hugged her closely before she could pick up the muds of tea, and she dared to ask.

"Do you think of Merle and Daryl in the same way?"

"No." He drew in a deep breath. "He's a good kid. He has drive and a good support system. I wish he'd lay off undressing you, but we can't win 'em all."

"Dad." She wanted to laugh, but her throat hurt, and her nails bit into his back. "What even happened?"

"Will Dixon was an abusive piece of shit to strangers, honey. I can't imagine how he was to his own blood. If Merle did anything... Will probably deserved it. Hell, probably started it, too."

"Can't he claim self-defense then?" She stepped back to meet his eyes, her hands gripping his sleeves. "Right?"

"I don't know. He buried him afterwards, and it's going to be complicated to prove after all this time. Merle has no credibility, either. He has a bad reputation and even worse temper. If any one of those boys favored Will, it's Merle. Only Merle has heart. His father has booze."

"You talk like you knew him."

"I did. Briefly, and I regret ever wasting time with him."

"How?"

"I was helping a friend out with her custody hearing, and I had to speak to her wife. She...was in lock up at the local jail, RJ let me talk to her, and Will was being booked. He made an impression I'll never forget, and he pretty much told the woman I was speaking with if he was left alone with her, he'd get her. His dick would set her straight." He swallowed back a wave of rage at the memory. "I bailed her out that night, and she...let her wife take sole custody of their son."

"Wow, Dad, that's amazing. For you, anyway. But why were you involved?"

"I'm good with paperwork, and I have connections to RJ. Besides I'm unassuming and forgettable." He smirked. "It helped, so I did all I could. It's who I am."

"And Will?"

"He tried to strangle a cop, pissed on the floor outside his cell, and he asked the female cops to "give him a show" because they weren't "real" cops. RJ threw him away for seven years. Then he got out and got his."

"Dad." She frowned. "That's... that's messed up."

"I know it seems that way, but trust me, he wasn't a man. He was cheap hooch and a fist in human form." He rubbed her cheek. "I...also helped with another case eleven years ago...where two males were...beaten by someone. No one came forward, but after they got medical attention, the older boy bailed with his seven year old boy."

She gulped, her mouth opening to ask who those siblings were, but no words came out. Her fingers remembered the feel of aged scars across the broad back of her boyfriend, her lips could still feel them rough and diverted oh so slightly, and her stomach began to churn with disgust, her hands shaking with rage.

"The staff had no idea, but one of them was eighteen. He gave no explanation on how they ended up in that condition, but kept asking on the seven year old he'd brought in with him. The boy had lashes on his back from a whip, glass from a beer bottle on his hip, and he was lucky to have nothing broken that time. They were going to take the boy he brought in into protective services, but by the time the social worker came...the boy was gone. So was the eighteen year old."

She was shaking, feeling the flutters of the tremors in her chest as they surged throughout her body, and she couldn't breathe.

"The boy and this man showed up at every hospital in the county and outside with similar wounds every few weeks or so for about five more years. Then they stopped showing up, and so did Will." He met her eyes. "I followed that case the entire time, because you...you and Lori were about that boy's age. I had no connections to the hospital, no...power to do anything, but I had to help. I dug and questioned and broke about a million rules pulling favors, and I found out that on the beer bottle shards in the boy's hip, there was more than his blood. There was the blood and DNA match of Will Dixon."

"And no one did anything?" Carol's voice wasn't her own, her eyes staring back at the floor now, the tremor in her chest burning.

"They had no leads, Carol. No home, no job, no phone—nothing to find the boy and his brother or Will. Even when they arrested him, Will had nothing on him to indicate he lived anywhere. Daryl and Merle both slipped through the cracks, because Will wanted a constant punching bag. And because Will could survive without leaving tracks. I tried. I really did, but...then I figured they all died after one bad blowout, and I grieved. I moved on. I didn't think about it again until..."

"Until I told you I was pregnant by Daryl Dixon." A single tear rolled down her cheek. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"It's not my history, and he seemed to be living with it. I thought he'd made peace with, and I had no right. And...and I was in conflict. To hate a kid I spent years chasing... I thought he was just like his dad at least, so I...I projected those feelings onto him, but I learned. He's a good young man, a great father and loyal partner to you. He has my respect and my love, even, and that's why I decided not to say anything. I knew he'd tell you one day."

"But he didn't." She lifted her head and inhaled. "He didn't, Dad."

Axel aped her earlier actions, mouth opening for words that didn't come, and he embraced her once more. "Shit, I'm sorry. I thought... You'd been sleeping with him, so I assumed... I'm so sorry, sweetie."

"I need to talk to him." She ripped herself out of his arms, almost hurting him in the process, and she stumbled backwards until her bedroom door came into sight. She hurried down the stairs, gripping the railing on the landing and finding Daryl on the bed with Clay. Her emotions vanished like blown smoke, her mouth drying out, and she studied him.

He'd taken his shirt off, leaving it over the end of the bed, his boots left where he removed them by the chair, and he was cradling a nearly naked Clay to his exposed chest. Clay was drifting off, cooing softly at any slight movement Daryl made, his eyes shut, chubby legs adjusting against Daryl's hard torso. The Little Prince open beside him, but it was no longer needed. The scent of lavender filled the air, moist heat drifting from the bathroom.

Daryl looked up slowly, his eyes swollen, red almost neon against the white and blue of his eyes, and he was pale. "He...he uh, was covered in snot and tears, so I just gave him a bath with that nighttime crap."

She came off the steps and saw the scars on his torso, tears falling hastily and frequently now.

Daryl looked up at the ceiling with a perverse smirk on his lips. "My old man...used to beat the shit out of us. He would drink and smoke or snort or shot up whatever he could get his hands on then. He always told me to shut up, keep my damn mouth shut, fetch the bourbon and make it quick. He'd...just act like we weren't around sometimes, and if we made ourselves known, he'd...he'd throw anything in reach at us. Beer bottles, his bowl, his bourbon bottles, his shoes, this ugly ass ashtray he bought—just anythin'."

She saw a little boy standing by the couch in the living room, wanting to be loved and only earning a bruised cheek.

"Sometimes when I'd come home, he and Merle would get at each other's throats. I was so scared he'd kill Merle or Merle would kill him. Merle left after one of those fights, and he got a taste for beatin' me. He'd usually leave me alone. The worst I'd get before Merle bailed on me was comin' home from school to see him fuckin' my mama on the couch. Sometimes she wasn't even conscious, and he told me... he told me to watch how a real man does it. I was six years old." He could remember his mom high off her ass one time, reaching out for him while he just... He never knew if she was lost in the high or if she wanted his help. He never knew what that gesture meant, and it haunted him, because what if she did want his help? What if she needed him to get that man off of her?

She closed her eyes tightly and covered her ears, shaking her head.

"After she died...women came in and out all the time, and he'd bust me in the jaw for just going to get food from the fridge. He told me I didn't earn it, so I taught myself how to hunt. Merle taught me how to track, and I taught myself to hunt so I could survive. That's when I got lost..." He puckered his lips, rolling them inward and releasing them with a sharp tsk! That echoed in the room. "Merle came home and found me unconscious with belt lashes so deep, I was bleedin', a broken bottle in my hip, and I think that's when he knew he was gonna kill him. It was never the same after that beatin'. Dad still lashed out, but Merle would get this look...like he wanted him to get in one more punch, just one more punch, but...that never came. Not when I was around, but I guess it finally did."

"Merle got fucked up for a long time when I was twelve. He got heavy into drugs and drinking, fuckin' around. He... he'd get mad at me for tryin' to talk to him about it, and he told me to do better. I didn't listen. I...eventually just did what he did, because why not? Our old man did it, Merle was doin' it, my mama did it, so why not? I drank and stole some pills and later when my body started to change, I fucked anythin' with two legs." He laughed, and the sound of it sent chills down her spine. It was pure darkness and self-loathing, empty. "Merle caught me tryin' to get with an older woman and sat me down for a talk. He just gave me condoms and told me to be smart about it. I was...fifteen? And he just let me join him. I think he didn't see the point in trying to shield me from it any longer.

"Then he fucked Paula when we were sixteen. I think it made him realize how far he'd gone. I was already trying to clean up my act, but I did slept around. It didn't feel like anything to be with anyone, and I still did it. I picked up on some things, but mostly it was all about me. My needs, what I wanted to do to them... Until I met you. You were shy and sweet. So..innocent in your white sweaters and worn jeans." He wasn't sure when he'd started crying, but he felt the cold tears hitting his chest. "That crazy hair. You were so full of...light, giving presentations with your friend, and I'd lost my taste for the pills in my back pocket. You laughed, and I...forgot how bad I wanted a drink. You would wear those frilly skirts in the spring, and I wanted to fuck you. I didn't care about anything else, but getting by those frilly skirts and cotton panties. I didn't care about you as a person, just wanted to fuck you. And I did. I did..."

"Why are you telling me this?"

"You had no idea how much I liked those skirts... With the right breeze, I could see your thighs, maybe a hint of your cotton panties. I'd go home and jerk off, you know. I'd just imagine slammin' into your untouched pussy and makin' you cry out my name. That made me come so hard. I could practically taste you sometimes. And when I saw you at the party...there was no way I was leaving without getting into those tight dark jeans."

"You're not hurting me with this, so stop trying. You're not a bad guy. You're not."

"I am a bad guy, Carol. I preyed on you. You were just like a deer in my scope, and I didn't hesitate to fire. Just like Merle. Just like my old man." He looked down at his son. "I know I'm not... He is the only good thing I have ever done. In all of my life, it's him. And I'm scared that if I stay, he'll be like me and Merle and Will. I don't want him to think like I did when I spotted you in class. I don't want him to think pills are good and booze is cool. I don't want him to be like my family. No one is my family has been a good person, has done anything good or nice or thoughtful... Even I have angles."

"I don't believe that."

"Because you care about me."

"Yes, I do care about you. I love you. I'm seriously and stupidly in love with you, and my track record of crushes is shit, but you...you're not. You're gentle and thoughtful and good. You broke through the stupid Dixon mold the day you were born, because you're _nothing_ like him. Or her. Or the rest of _them._ Yes, you wanted to sleep with me, but that's a teenage thing. That's hormones. I had thoughts like that, too. That doesn't make you awful."

He shuddered. "So you do love me."

"Daryl, I wouldn't be sleeping with you if I didn't love you. I wouldn't let you around so often if I didn't love you. I wouldn't be so upset and feeling your agony if I didn't love you. That should never have been in question. I make mistakes with it, but I'm seventeen and in my first relationship, and I'm learning. We are learning together. That's how this age is meant to work. We learn and grow, so I know you can't honestly think you're anything like your father."

"And how are you so sure it won't just kick in in five or ten years?"

"Will was born to be sour and sick, but not you. You're...sweet and considerate. You just gave our son a bath in his favorite soap and are holding him skin to skin when you could have washed his face off and put him to bed. You don't just use me when we're having sex. You caress me and make me feel worshiped. You hold me and kiss my hair. You kiss the scar on my back." Her voice broke, and she stepped closer to her bed. "You have had a rough life, and you still do all of this and so much more. That voice telling you otherwise is bullshit. You are a great father—we all think so—you're an A plus student and hard worker. You have never just "fucked" me. So if you need me to remind you of this all the time, I will, because I love you. Clay loves you. Mom and Caesar and Dad and Merle love you. Paula loves you. You can't love an evil person as much as we love you. That little boy would only cry more if you were so terrible, but he calms the second—the _second_ —you hold him. And all those little noises he makes? They sound more and more like Dad. You are...his world, Daryl. Can't you see that?"

"I understand all you're saying. I do, but—"

His words were cut off by a whimper at his chest, Carol covered her hand with her mouth at why Clay had grunted, and Daryl started to laugh more than recoil in disgust. Clay had a blow out poop that seeped through his diaper in all its pea green glory, and the smell was vile. It had a temperature to it also, and Carol gagged.

"What did Annette feed him?" Daryl's eyes were shut.

"Her own baby food. I think." She approached the bed. "Oh, no, he's not done. What did she feed you, buddy?"

"Could you not talk to him and get a towel? Please?"

"Yeah, sure." She hurried to the bathroom closet and pulled out a couple towels, rushing back to her bed as Daryl peeled the diaper off and left it on his lower stomach. "So much for that bath."

"Yeah."

They had to carefully maneuver to the bathroom, her bed was spared, but she was not. Clay did not like whatever Annette fed him, and he did not like its exit from his body. Daryl ran a bath, Carol rocked Clay closely after cleaning most of it off with wipes, and they all just piled into the tub. It was big enough surprisingly, and Clay loved the extra water time. He was smiling and splashing around on Carol's lap, and Daryl glared at him with laughter as the driving force. If Daryl felt like shit, Clay gave him shit. Stinky, chunky, baby shit. Bud did not like Daryl's depressive mood.

They dried off, Carol put him to bed, kissing his cheeks, and Clay was out like a light. She tightened the towel around her, seeing Daryl tying up the poopy towels and clothes in a trash bag, and he took it outside to the garbage bin.

"Do you have any spare clothes?" Carol pulled a fresh pair of panties on and closed the drawer.

"Yeah, Mel bought me some new stuff as a belated father's day gift." He reached behind the armchair. "She get you anythin' for mother's day?"

"Yes, but I never opened it. I was so busy with work, and I didn't even celebrate it with my own mother. We had plans for dinner in June, but...yeah." She shook her head. "Dad understood my...lack of celebration for him. Plus he lived at the office this summer."

He sat on the arm of the couch. "I'm sorry. About before, I just...worry all the time he's gonna end up like me." He sighed. "And my old man..."

"I knew you had another secret. I only saw a few scars. I thought you were in an accident or a fight with some of Merle's shady friends." She waked over to him. "You're so much stronger than I ever believed. I am so proud of you, and you need to be, too. I understand that constant abuse makes it impossible, but I'll be here to remind you. Clay, too. A bit more messy than I would have gone, but...he _is_ your son."

He laughed lightly. "He is my son."

"If he's anything like you, I'll be proud."

"What, you want him in his girlfriend's room, covered in only a towel, while she's standin' in front of him in only panties and a tank top?" He smirked at her. "You got no problem with that?"

"I meant personality and traits. And his girlfriend isn't having any of his shit tonight." She slipped her arms around his shoulders. "I will hold you, but we're not having sex tonight. You've been through a lot, and you need to process that. No avoiding it with my body."

"But you'd like it," he argued, pulling her closer by her hips, fingers traveling to her exposed ass cheeks, palms flattening on the plump roundness, firmly squeezing. "I know you like your ass teased. We can explore that."

"Daryl, stop. You did this with all of the girls before me, and I'm not having that. We're in a real relationship. We talk. We don't screw around to avoid issues. I'm serious."

He dropped his hands. "Fine, but I ain't talkin' anymore tonight."

"You don't have to." She brushed his bangs from his face. "I am content with holding you in my arms. We'll figure it out together. If Merle can claim self-defense, he'll be fine. The entire town knows Will's rep, and he'll come back to us. I know it."

He lifted his eyes. "You think so?"

"I know so. My dad works with lawyers, and we'll find one to help Merle. We'll do everything we can for him. I promise. You're both done falling through the cracks. I refuse to let you. Either of you. We are family, and I'll fight anyone who tries to disrupt that."

"Damn, it's a shame we're not gonna screw around," he murmured. "That's the sexiest thing you've ever said to me."

"So my love for you is...a turn off?"

"Second sexist then." He leaned up and kissed her, his hands gripping the base of her neck and keeping her in place while his lips roughly met hers. There was no tongue, no pushing, just his lips on hers, and he savored the feel of her mouth, the warmth of her love there, and he allowed her belief of this working out to enter him.

"Don't give up on me," he pleaded. "Please, don't ever give up on me."

"Just one more perk of my love. I never will." She kissed his cheek. "Come to bed. We have so much to work out tomorrow."

"I don't have any underwear," he confessed. "Be real weird if Mel bought me boxers."

"Wanna borrow a pair of mine?" she teased.

"I'd rather sleep nude."

"Fine, but you're the little spoon."

"What, too temptin'?"

"No, you deserve to be the little spoon, too. You hold me all the time, and I wanna hold you now." She kissed his forehead and left to climb onto the bed, moving the book out of the way, and she checked for any dookie spots just in case. It was clear, and she felt her bed dip at his weight. She looked over as he lied down, scratching his stomach, letting his fingertips draw attention to the lower regions of his body. He was playing cool and closing his eyes, and she rolled her eyes, pulling the blanket over them.

She curled up beside him, slipping an arm across his chest and nuzzling her nose at the base of his spine. "You don't always have to pretend it doesn't hurt." She kissed the scar nearest to her, his hand came to rest over hers, and she felt him shiver. "I'm here. I'm not going anywhere."

He pushed back on her with his shoulder, she frowned and was about to ask what was wrong when he rolled over and buried his face in her chest, holding onto her with a death grip. She held him close and soothed the tears that soaked through her shirt. The world wasn't kind, and she knew that, but her family made it safe. Daryl had no such knowledge of this safety, but he would. She would supply it, so would her family, until the bitterness released his heart. It had to let him go,and he had to let it go. Perhaps Denise could help with that. If not, she was there 100%.

––

Carol woke up to find Daryl was gone, though his spot was still warm. She also discovered Clay was gone, too. He likely dropped him off with Annette or would drop him off. She was up at dawn to see to the farm schedule, so it wouldn't be surprising if he did that. It was sweet of him, and she had a chance to get ready. She would ask Dad to look into some lawyers. Merle would be home, and this would be boxed up and thrown out. She knew it would be. It had to be.

Daryl left early to speak with Merle to try and get him to change his plea with Clay. The boy was playing with his toes in his crib, so he figured he'd take him and his breakfast to give Carol some time to get ready at her own pace. He also needed a reminder of why Merle had to get out. His kin needed him. His blood loved him. So he had to change his plea. He had to listen.

"What do you mean he won't see me?" Daryl stared at RJ. "That's crap. I'm his brother."

"He specifically asked us to keep you out." He frowned at the tortured confused on the kid's face. "I'm sorry."

His eyes stung, so he dropped them to the floor and nodded. "It's fine. Whatever."

Clay whined and babbled at RJ like he was trying to plead his dad's case for him from his carrier.

RJ tapped his pen on the desk and sighed. "Wait, kid, wait. Come back." He stood up when Daryl slowly turned around. "You're one of Rick's friends, right? I've seen you with him and his girlfriend."

"We ain't really friends, but I'm datin' his girlfriend's sister." He exhaled. "Why does that matter?"

"Because it matters." He scanned the room and lowered his voice. "Ten minutes, but only because I'm a sucker for babies. If that kid's gonna babble and glare at me like that, he must know somethin' I don't. So...ten minutes. Make it worth it."

"Thank you." He chuckled disbelievingly but also gratefully. "Seriously, man, thank you so much."

"Yeah, come on back." He smiled at him.

Daryl found where Merle was being held until they could figure out where to take him before the trial. He ran over to his cell and gripped the bars, minding Clay who was strapped to his chest, and he looked him over, panting soundlessly.

He was in the new clothes Mel had bought for him last week, his head bowed, his hands cuffed to the bench he sat on, and he didn't look up at the noise of tennis shoes on cement flooring. He just closed his eyes and chuckled bitterly, nodding his head.

"Shit ass cops." He didn't look at his brother still. "The kid's a nice touch, little brother."

"He ain't a touch. He's my son—and your nephew."

"Yeah, kinda how blood works." He drew air into his lungs. "The fuck do you want, Daryl? I got a big date with a judge and no jury."

"Merle, you can't just give up. You can't just take these charges and not fight! What he did to us...it was self-defense! We have hospital records and scars. We can prove it."

"No."

"We can. Carol's gonna get her dad to help us find a lawyer, and we'll get you out. We can't make bail, if they'll even offer one here, but we'll get you outta here."

"No."

"You don't have to just take it, Merle. I thought we couldn't do anythin' either, but Carol is sure we can do a lot. I mean, all we have to do is—"

"No!" Merle's voice sliced off the walls in the green room, tone so sharp it could have sliced through the bars and Daryl, and he jerked against his bindings, unable to stand, his eyes meeting Daryl's. "No, we ain't doin' that."

He frowned. "Why not? We can win. I know we can."

"Don't you get it? We don't win. People like us? We don't fuckin' win! We just take what the world gives us and fuckin' be glad it ain't _that_ bad!"

"It doesn't have to be that way."

"Yes, it does. You think fucking a nice girl with a good reputation is going to make you more desirable to this town?" He shook his head, lips tight in a line. "No. You're the bad boy stage she's goin' through. You're the asshole who knocked her up. You're just playin' family till you find a better piece of ass. That is what they see, Daryl. That is all they are ever gonna see."

"Fuck them! I'll prove them wrong! So can you, damn it. Just listen to me."

"No, you listen to me. I killed him. I bashed his head in with a goddamn baseball bat and buried him as far away as I could drag him. I did that. I'll take my medicine."

"You wouldn't just kill him to kill him. Otherwise it would have happened a long time ago."

"I can take the twenty-five or life, little brother, because I am stained by him and his words and his lifestyle. I don't get any other chances here. But you? You get a chance. You can get out of this fucked up town with the gossips and eyes and the judgement. You can be a better man than me and him. I know you can, and I won't let anyone put you in this light. You hear me? I'll pay my dues, and you'll get out of here."

He swallowed hard. "You... you're pleading guilty for me? Why?"

"If I didn't, they could think it was you. You don't need this on your background when applyin' to college and law school. Your record is clean. I'm gonna keep it clean. You will be a lawyer and raise that boy. You'll be damn good at both." He smiled at him. "You make me proud, Daryl. So leave. Leave and stay outta this. You have Clay and Carol, and I'll be in the back, supportin' you."

"No, I won't just leave you here to rot. That isn't who I am!"

"I won't let you try and change this. Will is dead, and they need someone to pay. It was me. I can't let this anywhere near you. I won't confess to the abuse. I won't make you a suspect."

"But I wouldn't be a suspect. I—"

"The second I say we were abused, you are a suspect. You have motive to kill him, too, and they'll run with it. I won't fuckin' let them. You're gonna be safe from this. This is all I can do to protect you. Let me. Let me right all the wrong I let happen."

"Merle, you didn't let anythin' happen."

"I left you with him. I knew what he did to me, and I just left you with him. He nearly killed you. If I had acted before then you wouldn't have a damn mark on your body. I might as well have done that to you too."

"Don't talk like that. Don't think like that. Just tell them. Tell them everything, and we can—"

"Hey, kid," RJ called from the doorway, "time's up. I know you have school, so let's go."

"Merle," Daryl tightened his hold on the cell bars, "please, please, tell 'em. For me, for Clay, tell them."

"I'm doin' this for you and Clay," Merle replied. "I think it's time I kept my damn mouth shut for once."

"No, no, Merle." Daryl's hands were being pried off by RJ. "No, stop, don't. Merle! Merle, tell them! Goddman it, Merle! Merle!" He was hauled out by his armpits, RJ minded Clay and Daryl stumbled back, heeding the carrier and panting as the door slammed shut. "You fuck! That wasn't ten minutes!"

"You're right. It was eleven." He ran his tired eyes over the kid. "I'm sorry, Daryl, really. Will was actual scum, bet good money he earned it, but...law's the law. We can't take it into our own hands."

"Don't be sorry," Daryl spat. "I don't want your sorry."

He nodded. "Fine then take my advice. Go to school. Study hard. Try and forget, if you can't forgive. Life is hard enough without the past draggin' you down."

"That's my brother! He ain't draggin' me down. He's... he's tryin' to protect me." He bit his bottom lip hard. "Fuck this." He bailed out of the office before RJ could say anything else.

– – –

Carol looked for Daryl after first period, scanning the halls and waiting by his locker, blowing up his phone so bad Tyreese confiscated it, and she begged him not to, but rules were rules. She kicked a locker and looked for Caesar, asking him to check the guy's bathroom, but no luck. He wouldn't even answer Caesar texts. She groaned and thanked him, checking in the office to see if Annette had Clay. She hadn't heard from Daryl, and Carol's heart sank. She didn't have Clay either. Her anxiety shot up, and she hung up with a mumbled bye.

She was about to flip out when she remembered a safe space he might be. She hurried to the library, waving to Zeke and slipping into the hidden room to find Daryl and Clay both inside, reading a school issued magazine to the sleepy baby boy on his chest.

"You jerk." She smacked him in the arm. "I was so worried. You didn't drop him off?"

"No." He lowered the magazine. "I don't even know why I came here. I just...found myself here."

"Hey, baby." She smiled at Clay who noticed her and began to smile and wriggle and babbled happily. "Well, what did Merle say? I talked to my dad, and he's such a—"

"He won't change his plea. He's gonna go down for it so I won't have to be in the spotlight as a suspect."

"What? Why would they think..." She closed her eyes tightly. "You'd have motive, too."

"Yeah, and we both got a temper."

"What do we do now? Dad's out of favors with all of his lawyer people, and I don't have enough money for diapers, let alone a lawyer. Would Amaro help us? No, no, we can't ask him. That's too much to ask." She rubbed her face with her hands and moaned. "Shit."

"He's gonna get the full sentence, and I'm never gonna see him again." He shook his head and sucked his tongue on his teeth. "He made sure the cops wouldn't let me see him."

"Why would he do that?"

"I don't know. I sure as hell didn't change his mind, and... he wouldn't listen to me. He just had his mind all made up and I was just a gnat. He pisses me off." He handed Clay over to her and stood up to try and get the anger out of his system. "I could have done something if he let me fight. I could fuckin' bring him home!"

"I know you could." She adjusted Clay on her lap. "But...how did you talk to him? I thought he wouldn't let you."

"RJ let me see him anyway, for all the good it did." He dragged a hand through his hair. "This is bullshit. I'm so fucking pissed. I want to hit someone. He fights for every damn thing, but this he takes lying down? For me? For Clay? What kind of selfish ass bullshit is that? We can fight this. It's what we do."

"Calm down. You'll rat us out to Zeke, and Mom's gonna kill me. Kill us."

"Carol, he's my brother. I can't let him rot in that dank ass cell. My entire body and his are evidence of the abuse we had to endure. We can get this brushed off as self-defense, because it was. I know it was. Merle ain't a killer. I know he isn't, but I can't build a defense if he ain't gonna back it."

"I know this is hard, but we have to keep trying. Dad may be out of favors, but I know people, too. I can talk to Amaro and Allan, see what we can do, and if we can get a pro bono lawyer. We... we just need to not give up, okay? We've hit a wall, but they haven't made the final decision. We have time."

"Carol...the people in this fuckhole whispered about me and him when I came in this mornin'. The teachers actually made an effort to avoid, save for your mom and Tyreese. A couple girls ran away from me. People don't buy that I'm a good person, that I'm safe. They ain't gonna buy it about Merle either. He confessed, and that's enough for them. If we hit a wall two steps out...what chance do we have?"

"It's not something you have to sell. You are a good person. They can either recognize it or fuck off. And just because we hit one wall doesn't mean we're stuck. I am not giving up on this. You shouldn't either."

"You don't get it! People like us don't get second chances with the law. Once it's out, it's out. We're done. My grandfather went to prison for seventeen years just because he drunkenly confessed to somethin' that never even happened to an off-duty cop. My old man was in and out of prison and jail, and sometimes it was just for kicks. And now Merle..."

"Well, good for them. I don't care about them and their history. I care about Merle and his present. I care about facts. Will Dixon abused his sons, Merle killed him in self-defense, and we'll prove it. We will."

"I don't buy it, but you're makin' me kinda hot."

"Okay, Daryl, no." She locked her eyes in his. "Stop connecting solutions and coping with sex. You're hurting, and sex isn't going to make it go away. That's why you slept around all the time, because you were in constant misery. And you're trying to do it now, but we're in a relationship, so it's only me you have to make a move on. It's a no."

"I don't connect any of that shit. I slept around—"

"Because you were confused about where your father had beaten you instead of loved you, why Merle was acting more and more like him, and because Merle didn't care that you were spiraling, too." She searched his eyes as he mauled it over. "You buried all of those feelings in sex with any girl you could get. But I'm not letting you do that now. You need to face this reality and fight it. You were so motivated last night. Don't let this discourage you."

"Go back to the sex thing." He moistened his lips. "I did not sleep with you outta repressed pain. Not any of those times."

"I know you didn't. We wanted each other, and that was okay, but this isn't. The reason you want me now is because you're suffering. It's why you wanted me the night you stayed over. Merle was doing the same thing—burying his problems between the thighs of whoever he brought home. He didn't talk to you. He's probably never talked to you about the eviction or your father or anything very deep. One sided conversations don't really count, and it's tearing you up inside. So you came over and jumped into bed with me."

"And that mornin'? What, I just felt sad?"

"No, that was just you being horny." She rested her chin on her son's head. "I've learned the distinction."

"What the hell does that mean?"

"When you want me, you're slow and gentle and do all the things I like. When you want to cope, you're...not all there. You're hasty and almost demand my body's reactions. Like you can get some control over your life if you just thrust a little deeper."

"We also do what you like. And when we have sex, it isn't like that," he softly snapped. "What we have... isn't like that." He lost his voice towards the end, but his eyes were shifting, and Carol could see him thinking back. Back to the beginning and back to why.

"Daryl, what we have—"

An alarm blared, knifing through Carol's words, and she shot up, moving over to him. He held her in his arms, reaching for Clay, and their breathing slowed way down. They had several alarms to quickly alert the student body of dangers—fire, tornado, meatloaf Monday, ect—but this wasn't any of them. This was the shooter alarm installed a few years ago. They only did drills for this in the middle of the year with notifications of exactly when and how long so no one would be terrified. That had no such notifications, and no one spoke over the intercom to assure them it was made in error. There was a shooter or several shooters in the school, and they were in a hidden room with a six month old who could cry at any given moment...


	25. Bad, These Habits Of Mine

_**Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot.**_

 _ **A/N: Trigger Warning.**_

––

They hadn't moved for ten solid minutes, Daryl was stationed by the door, listening to see if maybe this was an accidental fire drill, and the wrong code was played. There were no other announcements made of the PA system. There were hurried feet on the other side of the door, and Daryl heard Zeke barricading the front door. He could hear something hitting them hard, and his heart had simply stopped. Blood rushed in his ears, and his looked over to where his son rested in his other's lap, playing with necklace she wore, and panic flooded him.

He'd brought his son into school, and they were just meant to lie low until the day was over then head home. He'd even picked out a striped hoodie and loose pants for Clay to be comfortable in. They were going to hang out and watch some cartoons on his phone until Carol found them and chewed him out. They would...leave and go home and talk. They weren't... This wasn't...

"Please tell me this isn't happening." Carol held her son closer to her. "Daryl, please tell me."

"Zeke's..." His voice was raw, husky, and it fell on muffled ears. "He's barricadin' the doors. I...I think some kids are hidin' in his office. It... it locks."

"Oh, my God." A shiver coursed underneath her skin and through her entire body, her eyes burned for panicked tears she forced to remain at bay, and she pushed onward. "Daryl, what are we going to do? If this...shooter gets in here, and Clay cries..." Her voice broke, not complying with her pushing onward plan. "If he opens fire—"

"He won't. He'll be too distracted by Zeke's barricade." He carried himself over to her and fell to his knees, holding her hips, kissing Clay's forehead.

"And if he does get through? If he shoots at Zeke or the other students? The sound will upset Clay. He'll cry. He'll cry, and this person will find us, Daryl." She couldn't stop the tears running down her cheeks. "We can't protect him in here. We're just trapped."

"He won't hurt Clay or you. I won't let him." He reached up to console her, she smacked his hand aside, and he started to speak when she grasped it tightly, bringing it around Clay's torso so they were both holding him. She was shaking. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry. You didn't do anything." She inhaled deeply and closed her eyes tightly. "This is meant to be a safe space for kids, so why would you think otherwise?"

"I should've just taken him to my place."

"Daryl, you aren't the one—"

Her words were cut off by gunfire, she gasped and flinched, Daryl pulled her and Clay to the corner of the room, and they sat stacked there, listening. It sounded like they were just outside the school, glass shattered and car alarms sounded. There was so much screaming, Carol dug her nails into Daryl's forearm at someone yelling. It wasn't the police, so it had to the shooter. He was forcing the students into the school, herding them to what sounded like the gym, and Daryl swallowed hard at the mention of this part of the school having not been checked.

By the voices there were more than one or two shooters outside, he could make out three voices. Two of them were teenagers, but other was an adult. He knew the man's tone—loud, demanding, bitter, authoritative—but he didn't know the voice. He thought he'd heard it in passing during the last four years of attending this school, but he wasn't positive. The thick walls blocked most of his voice out, and he could only hear it distantly, and this was only doable if he ignored Carol's panicked breathing. It smacked his neck over and over, causing goosebumps to form on his skin, a knot to tighten in his throat.

"Oh, my God." Carol covered her mouth with her hand, big tears falling from her cheeks.

"What?" Daryl met her eyes.

"My mom." Her heart was being sliced at the thought of her mother in her classroom, teaching and suddenly being forced to the ground by some asshole with a gun. If he didn't kill her on sight. "Daryl, my mom." Mom wasn't the type to back down. She'd try and take control over the situation, and they wouldn't let that stand. They wouldn't simply allow her to talk back to them.

Daryl gripped the back of her head and held her closer, minding Clay in her lap. "She'll be fine. She'll be just fine. I promise."

"And Lori." Her covered her mouth to contain a cry at Lori and Andrea in class, looking for Carol only to find armed assholes busting in. And Michonne would be alone. She would be alone in a classroom with armed assholes herding them all to a contained location, and—and—

"Calm down." Daryl sensed her panic attack as it rose in her chest. "Carol, please, please. You'll upset Clay, breathe with me." He slipped his hand to her neck, thumb pressing into her throat for her pulse, and he found it. "Fuck, Carol, calm down."

She was breathing heavily, every word Daryl said sounded muffled, and her eyes couldn't focus on anything. She just saw them all dead. All of her friends, her mother, her classmates, the teachers—everyone she had ever known during her time in this school lying in mass, dead, bleeding. The horror of watching their friends and classmates being gunned down forever reflected on white faces. Some would try to run. Some would try to fight. All would be screaming, at one point another. What if they all died, and only she and Daryl survived? The only graduates of the next two years?

"Carol, look at me." He removed her hand from his forearm and placed it on his face, against the rough stubble of along his jaw, and she turned her eyes towards that scratchy feel under her thumb. "Look at me."

His was slowly coming into focus, eyes of blue, honey-colored skin, dark, messy hairs. His lips were moving, forming words, and she tilted her head to the side to try and make them out. They bounced off her ears, and she didn't understand. What was he saying? His lips moved, and she could traced the words there, but...was that right? Was that...real?

"Please, focus on me. Breathe." He stroked her hand against his on his jaw. "I know it's hard, but breathe with me. Please." If this escalated, Clay would whine and wail, and they would come in full force to the library. They would bust their way back here, and he wouldn't be able to protect them. They were trapped like rats in a pin, and he wouldn't be able to _do_ anything. He couldn't let this happen. He couldn't let anything happen to them that wasn't good. He loved them. He loved so much, so he had to protect them. She had to hear him. She had to breathe!

"I love you. Clay loves you. Focus on that, please." He kissed her salty cheekbone and squeezed his eyes shut. "Please, Carol, c'mon, breathe with me."

– – –

Karen and Tyreese were in the teacher's lounge while the kids enjoyed their brief break, Karen was filling up on coffee, and Tyreese was reviewing a test he had for his class. It was to see what they already knew. It was oral, and he'd help through it, but he liked to hit the ground running. They caught on to phrases and verbs much to his surprise, and he could see who might need his coaching along the way. He was...excited about that.

"You're awfully cheerful today." Karen leaned against the counter, taking a sip of her perfectly creamed and sugared coffee. It was bliss. She'd need it for her hellraising classes. She had some debates going on today, and it was going to be neck and neck as always. She needed the pick me up to get through it.

A slow smile across his lips, and he lifted his eyes from the paper to the woman across from him. She was pretty damn cheerful today too. She looked lovely, black hairs curled and framing her face, makeup bringing out every ounce of beauty there. Her black top hugged her figure and complemented her skin tone. Her legs were revealed by her soft pink skirt and accentuated by the white heels she had on. She'd never come to school looking lovelier.

Tyreese chuckled softly, playing innocent. "I'm sure I don't know what you mean."

"What I mean is all the smiles. Kind of like that one." She smirked at him, teasingly.

"Oh, this? I don't know." He sauntered over to her, placing his hands on her hips. "It could have something to do with this gorgeous woman I had dinner with last night. She had to leave a little early, but...we still had a good time."

"Hmm, see I think I know this woman, and she didn't have a good time."

"No?"

"No." She set the cup down on the counter and pointed a finger at him. "He didn't kiss her goodnight."

"Oh, well, that's a shame."

"It is, especially because of how attentive and soft he'd been with her before that."

"I was never soft with you." She laughed, and he kissed her, cutting off her laughter, and she moaned softly against his lips. "Forgive my manners."

She bit her bottom lip. "I think I can. Just...persuade me a bit more."

He was about to kiss her once more when someone kicked in the door, he jerked around to go off on some rude ass teenager when a grown ass man stood in the doorway with a semi-automatic. He pulled Karen behind him, and he said a quick prayer.

"What do you want?" Tyreese felt Karen's hands on his back, and he swallowed hard. "This doesn't have to get violent."

"Yes, it really does." He smirked at them. "Out."

"We can talk—"

He marched over to the them and basted Tyreese in the face with the butt of his gun, dark eyes glowered back at the shooter, and he repeated himself. "Out. Or this bullet goes through your goddamn head, Williams."

Tyreese pulled Karen around him and guided her out of the lounge, blood dripping down from his nose, and Karen wanted to see the damage, but the shooter alarm jolted her. The second jolt came when they ran into a stream of terrified kids. She gasped and found Lori, pulling her into her arms, and Lori sobbed hard. She scanned for Carol as they moved down the hall, Tyreese on the other side of Lori, trying to find Sasha, and they continued down the hall.

Karen looked at Ty with panicked eyes, he rubbed Lori's back, and he had nothing to offer but prayer. She shuddered and tried to keep her emotions in check, looking in the group of students for her daughter and for Daryl, for the girls, but there were so many students. Most of them had their heads down, crying or trying frantically to escape only to kept in place by a friend or teacher. They were all moved like cattle, some of the armed men were in with them, keeping them moving along, and Karen heard a gunfire.

Lori screamed and held onto her mother tighter, and Karen's heart stopped. They didn't stop walking, so they had to pass the body, and Karen's eyes fell on a freshmen who was in her first period class. He was a soft spoken little boy. He had severe asthma, but he was kind. She spotted his inhaler lying next to him. They probably thought it was a weapon. He was just trying to breath.

She kissed Lori's forehead and cried into her hair, Ty pulled them closer, and they kept walking. All of their sense told them to run, to fight, to not follow these insane orders, but they had no choice. One shooter had a handgun, but rest had semi-automatics. They would take out half the school to try and stop Karen or Tyreese or Lori from escaping. They might be planning on doing just that anyway, but who could say? Honestly, who knew what awaited them in the gym.

––

"Hey, cutie." Michonne caught Andrea by the cafeteria at break and kissed her briefly. "I missed you at breakfast."

"Yeah, Amy made us late." She smiled at her. "I meant to text you, but I left my phone at the table this morning like an idiot. Amy is acting like a brat so hardcore I forgot my phone."

"What's going on with her?"

"Dad bought me a new car. I've been using his or mom's, and that was cool with her, but apparently me having my own car isn't. She got so angry and pitched a fit. I don't even know why. She'll get a car in a couple years when she can drive. Dad told her as much. I mean, I busted my ass with chores and summer internships to get that car."

"He paid you enough to buy a car?"

"No, it's like...points?" Michonne nodded. "I built up enough points for that car, and Amy's got a good flow of points, so I don't get it. It's not like I'm rubbing it in her face either. I mean, I had an hour of thanking my parents and showing off the car to anyone I could reach, but it wasn't in a jerk-ish way."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, I'm sure. I even told her we could hit up the mall anytime we wanted. We could catch a movie. Double date, so I can be sure she doesn't get herself into trouble." She exhaled and spotted Dwight in the corner of her eye. "I mean, she's a freshmen, and if she tries to date _him_ , I will freak out."

Michonne glanced over and rolled her eyes. "He's just a loner."

"He's weird, Mich. I don't want my..." Her mouth dried out as her eyes rounded, and Michonne frowned.

"What is it?"

"Dwight has—"

The shooter alarm blanked anything Andrea might have said, all words were lost and choked on, as the alarm blared on and on. Screams filled the cafeteria as Dwight fired off a handgun, two other men blocked the exits, and Andrea and Michonne dropped to the floor. Andrea's knees instantly went weak, Michonne kept an arm around her, and Dwight shot someone. Andrea jumped and kept her eyes to the floor, not wanting to know who or why, simply wanting to wake up. This had to be a nightmares. This had to be a nightmare. This didn't happen to their school. It was a small, sports-driven hell in the back roads of Georgia, so why was this happening? They were nothing. This couldn't be real. This couldn't be happening.

"Amy." Andrea stood up instantly, Michonne pulled her back down, but not before Andrea saw Amy and Enid curled up by the trashcans, shaking and crying. "My sister, Mich. I have to get to her."

"We can't move. He hold us not to move." She held her arm tightly. "Shh, just listen."

"... Now, we're going to take a nice walk to the gym." Dwight jerked his head to the men blocking the doors. "Anyone who to run or fight will end up like this son of a bitch. Now move! I see anyone hanging back, I will fucking kill you!"

Michonne and Andrea were forced down to the ground by the fleeing students, Andrea tried to call to her sister, but Amy was being hauled off by Dwight. Andrea tried to get to her, but there were too many people. Michonne helped her stand up, and they were forced forward. They couldn't move in any other direction, and if they stopped, they would be trampled.

Andrea tried to fight them to get to Amy, but she only managed to be thrown out of the crowd of people. Michonne couldn't reach her, trying to fight against the crowd, but someone grabbed her waist and forced her onward. She lost sight of Andrea, and she was knocked into the lockers. She had no time to recover from the heated shot of nausea that coursed through her at her body being slammed into the lockers as one of the men who thought she was trying to break off and flee tore her from the locker and escorted her to the gym.

Andrea was still in the cafeteria, feeling something wet and sticky spreading through her shirt, and she looked over to see her blonde hair turning red. She panicked and shot up, screaming at the sight of Dale bleeding from a shot to shoulder. She tried to reach him, he was fading in and out of consciousness, and she saw a hand on her arm. She was about to scream again soft eyes came into her vision.

"Ezekiel?" Andrea sobbed.

"Come with me." He didn't want to leave Dale, but he had to get her out of there before they came back. "We'll get help for him later. Run."

The library was right next to the cafeteria, and he'd heard the gunfire. He'd locked the students in his library, called the police, and he wanted to see how many men there were. He'd seen at least four, and they weren't all men. It broke his heart to see these young students falling in line with an madman. They were too easy to influence, and he played every angle against them. He knew there was something wrong with that man, but he couldn't place exactly what. Now...he wished he couldn't, because this? He wouldn't have wanted to think of this.

He guided Andrea through the doors and blocked them once more. "Here, you hide in the back with the others."

"But my sister," Andrea strained, eyes red, body sticky with Dale's blood, everything in her body trembling. "My girlfriend. Dale... Oh, my God, Dale."

"Hey, I'll get help, but you need to hide." HE cupped her cheeks so her eyes met his. "Hide. Maggie and Glenn are in my office, they have the police on the line, and they will be here very soon. You need to protect herself until then, please."

She nodded slowly. "My sister..."

"Andrea, please."

"Please, she's only fourteen. He grabbed her. He singled her out. Please." Andrea began to panic and wail.

He sighed. "I'm doing all I can right now. I'm sorry." He guided her over to his office and knocked on the glass, Maggie unlocked it—a shooter wouldn't knock, let's be real—and he handed Andrea over to her. "Stay down and quiet. Don't open this door again. Not for any sounds."

She nodded. "What about you?"

"Just stay down." He closed the door and hide behind the stacks to prepare for them they began to pound on the door to the library.

– – –

Everyone was in the gym now. All the doors had been locked and barred, one armed man blocked each door, and a couple of teenagers—Dwight and Arat—were standing by the main door they all faced. Everyone was either crying, asking what was going on or lost so much in their terror they didn't dare to breath. There were no windows in the gym. There was no cell service in the gym either. It was a humid, windowless, well vented space with all exits blocked. The bleachers were pulled back, and they were all crammed together like sardines. Fish in a barrel. An easy massacre.

Karen and Tyreese held Michonne and Lori between them, Lori and Michonne were holding each other as much as they were holding Karen, and Tyreese was trying to formulate a plan. There was nothing to formulate, however. There was no quick exit. No hero saving move. They were trapped, and there was no air on. They would dehydrate, and then what? What would come next? Who was behind it? And where...Michonne wondered, where the hell was Amy?

A whistle filled the gym, everyone looked as their captors mocked the sound, and then out came the man behind it all. The man who no one noticed. The man who no one greeted or spoke to or acknowledge. The man who was oh-so tired of this world and its rules. The man...who they had all known as their janitor, as Negan, stood before them now, smirking. It was foul smirk, hungry and dark and demanding. It reflected in every inch of him.

Michonne pulled away from Karen when Dwight threw Amy down onto the floor. She was crying, a bruise forming on her forearm, and she was quaking. She tried to make herself smaller on the floor, but it did nothing.

Michonne's heart race as Negan approached her, Lori grabbed her wrist, and Michonne watched Negan pull a knife out. Amy whimpered and tried to run, but he grabbed her by her hair. Michonne pulled her arm free when he ran the dull side of the blade across her throat, and she weaved her way through the crowd to try and reach Amy before he could anything more to her.

"Do you ever wonder what rejection feels like?" Negan called out to the crowd, holding the girl by her hair. "What that shame can do...to your head and your heart?"

"Please," Amy finally managed to say, "please let me go."

He ignored her. "It's like a nightmare you can't escape. You run and you run and you run, but you won't wake up and shrug it off. It's right there every day in your face. It's...the face looking back at you in the mirror. It's the sneers and laughters of those around you. It's the pretty young thing walking by you in the school like you don't even exist."

Michonne stopped walking when Amy cried out, and she pushed aside a teacher to see he'd cut off the straps to Amy's dress, leaving her in a flesh-tone bra and a pair of lace black underwear. They weren't hers, Michonne knew for a fact they were her sisters, and Michonne knew for a fact this asshole wasn't going to live to see tomorrow if he touched that little girl one more time.

Negan had been speaking the entire time, Michonne blocked it out when she neared the front of the crowd, feeling arms around her chest, and she saw Karen had been on her taile the entire time. Negan threw Amy back on the floor, boot on her shoulder with enough pressure to nearly dislocate it, and Michonne saw red when Amy yelped in pain.

"She walks around like this...and has the nerve to reject you? She's clearly asking for somethin'. I mean, look at that thong. She wants it. Beggin' for it." He looked at Dwight. "So take it."

"No, wait! Take me instead!"

Michonne tensed at that voice and looked at Karen who had said them, her lips parting as she tried to comprehend what was happening, and Karen kissed her temple before moving out of the crowd.

"Ms. Callies?" Dwight narrowed his eyes.

"Let her go. She's just a kid. She doesn't know anything." Karen inhaled deeply. "Not like me. I know what men wants, what he likes. She'll never be it."

Negan chuckled. "And what do you have, Ms. Callies?" He walked over to her, circling her and knocking her to her knees beside Amy. "Mmm, I love choices."

"I can take both of you," Karen purred. "Instead of her, you can have me—both of you. Just forget about her. She doesn't know anything about anything."

Negan sucked air in through his teeth. "See, you almost had me." He bent down beside her, and she looked into his hollowed eyes. "There won't be any "instead of", Teach. Only first...and second. And since you were so kind to volunteer, I'll take you first."

"No." Amy lifted herself up at his words, watching his knife cut through her top. "Karen? No, please. Don't touch her! No! Please!"

––

"We can call the cops." Carol looked at him. "They're only, what? Ten or more minutes away?"

"Try thirty," Daryl corrected. "And that's if—if they push it. That's if anyone could even call them. For all we know all the principal could do was found the alarm. They likely killed him, or hell, urged him to do it."

"Why would they want to alert us of their presence?"

"Fear. Sick fucks are like animals. They know the scent of pure terror and feed of it. It's another form a power. It's why Ed tried to rape you. Sex wasn't enough. He needed the high of your terror to really get off. These guys though?" He shook his head. "They want the power fear gives them, the control and the begging. They want blood, too. They want power and blood, and they don't care who has to pay it. You, me, Clay? We wouldn't be enough to satisfy 'em. This whole school? It might come close, but I doubt it."

She shivered. "How do you know that?"

"My old man." A bitter smirk crossed his lips, and she never wanted to see it again. "He was one of 'em. He liked to hunt for that reason, but animals weren't enough. I... I don't know if he was on the same level as them or not, but...animals weren't enough. Eventually me and Merle wouldn't have been enough. If Merle hadn't killed him, he would have killed me, and I don't think he would have stopped."

"Daryl, I—"

"Plus my phone's at home," he cut her off, not wanting to dissect his past right now. He couldn't have that talk and be in this situation at the same time. He couldn't. "You?"

"Tyreese confiscated it." She whimpered softly. "What are we going to do?"

"I don't know, but we'll get out of this." He searched her eyes. "We will."

She exhaled and looked down at their son. "He's hungry."

"How do you know?" He followed her gaze and almost laughed at Clay drooling at his mom's chest. "Damn, he's my kid, all right."

"I'm not even wearing the right bra for this. You didn't bring his bag in, did you?"

"It's in the truck. I figured you'd find me, chew me out then I'd convince you to ditch school with me."

"Here, hold up." She handed him over and stood up, unfastening her bra and walking around to get blood flowing in her legs again. She set her bra on the chair and sat beside it. "Could you bring him here?"

"Yeah." He handed him over and helped her adjust her blouse and his head, kneeling down beside her instead of fleeing like he used to. He set a hand on her thigh and rubbed her his thumb into her jeans. "I need to see if Zeke has a phone."

"What?" She felt rocks dropping down onto her heart at his words. "No. No, you can't go out there."

"If he's already gotten help, it's fine. We can bring whoever might be out there in here. It's safer in here. It's hidden."

"If he has a phone, he's already gotten help, and we just need to wait."

"I don't do the waitin' game, Carol. I can't anymore. I need to do something, and I'm gonna."

"Don't you dare."

"I dare." He kissed her briefly and moved around the chaise to the door, pushing it open without looking back. He couldn't handle her panic on top of his own fear. He closed the door behind him and crept along the book room, straining his hearing for any movement or voices, and he pressed onward. He inhaled deeply and entered the computer lap, halting at Zeke speaking to someone. He peered over the corner and saw Andrea soaked in blood. He gulped and was about to step out when Zeke assured her he'd called the police and they were coming.

"Just stay down," Zeke spoke to someone Daryl couldn't see. There was a deep inhale and exhale, Zeke approached the stacks and murmured a prayer.

"Zeke?" Daryl didn't move from the computer lab as it was its now little room with a doorless frame to the library, and the windows to the library weren't blocked. He didn't want to be spotted. "Ezekiel?"

"Daryl?" Ezekiel came out of the stacks and towards his voice. "You're still here? I thought you left an hour ago."

"No." Daryl was happy to see another face, but he couldn't smile. Not until this was over.

Zeke's face drained of color as he neared the boy. "You—you still got that baby?"

He nodded. "Yeah, my son's still here."

"Oh, God." He ran a hand down his jaw and closed his eyes. "Get back in that room and don't come out for any reason. Don't argue with me. Stay. It's for the best. I can handle all they have to give, but I cannot handle anything happenin' to your boy, so go."

"Did you really call the police?"

"Yeah, the moment I heard the alarm. It's what our reaction is meant to be. Maggie is on the phone with RJ now. He has people coming. I just hope it's in time." He saw movement. "Go now. Don't come out for anything. You understand me?"

"But if you need help—"

"Then I will help myself. Now hide." He moved out of view towards the stacks.

Daryl scurried back to the hidden room, closing the door and finding Carol glaring at him while Clay fed, and he sat beside her. She rolled her eyes to keep tears at bay, and he stared at the door, picking at his nails.

"He called the cops."

"Thank God." Carol smiled. "How long ago?"

"The second he heard the alarm. They oughta be here in a few minutes. They gotta be." He chewed on his bottom lip.

"I want this over," Carol murmured. "I want this shit to stop happening around us. God, what the hell is going on?" _First her assault at work then Merle is arrested, and now they were hostages in their school_ , her brain listed off as tears threatened to spill. This year was going down as the worst year of her entire life. Just when things were finally back on track and going well. God, she hated this place. She hated it so much. She blinked back her rage tears and expelled all the air from her lungs to force the anger to flee with it, but it only ignited it.

"I dunno." Daryl chuckled mirthlessly. "Don't bad shit happen in threes?"

Carol didn't respond. She had no words to respond with, and she tended to Clay. She didn't have a burping cloth, but Daryl found a clean dust rag. She was weary, but what choice did she have. She handed the feed and sleepy baby to Daryl and adjusted herself with her back to him, and Daryl rocked him in his arms to try and get him to asleep.

He looked over when Carol rested her head on his shoulder, and he nuzzled his against her. She smiled weakly, and they sat in silence, waiting. Sadly, it didn't take long for threat silence to be breached.

"What the...?" Carol's heart began to pound.

Daryl heard heavy pounding, Carol accepted Clay from him, and he hurried over to the door, listening. Carol held a semi-sleepy Clay in her arms, and she wanted to step closer, but Daryl waved at her not to move an inch. He could hear the doors in the library about to give in, and he looked for any weapon they could use against these assholes.

He found a brick as semi-automatic went off, Daryl nearly dropped the brick, and more guns fired. He abandoned it and went to Carol, pulling her and his son away from the door and away from the chaise. They stood in the corner and listened to commands being shouted, and Daryl turned to her, her nails dug into his arm, and he wanted the last time he saw to her. If it came down to it then she and their son be the last thing he wanted to see.

The door kicked open, Carol gasped and dug her nails in deeper, but a flashlight hit their faces instead.

"We got kids in here!"

It wasn't the shooters; it was the police. It was the special weapons and tactics group, to be precise. They escorted Carol and Daryl out of the room, Zeke was standing there in one piece, holding Andrea and comforting her. Carol wanted to gasped and ran over to her to see what had happened to her, but they were escorted out of the building. Carol blinked hard at the light shined in her eyes as they stepped outside. There were cops everywhere, ambulances, too. Beyond that, there were police lines and parents and news reports. Cameras flashed at them, the first to come out of the school, and RJ blocked their view. He guided them over to his car to get their statement and check in on their mental situation.

Carol watched students and teachers flood out of the building, her eyes looking for the peach-toned skirt her mother wore, the purple plaid Lori wore, the yellow blouse Michonne had been sporting, and her eyes dried out from searching and not blinking.

"Mom." Carol shot up as Karen was lead towards an EMT, shaking and wrapped in a windbreaker. "Mom!"

"Carol!" Lori was right behind her mom and heard her sister. She ran over to her and tackled her against the car, crying and holding her so tight.

"Carol..." Michonne heard Lori scream and followed her cries. "Oh, my God." She hugged them both and consoled them both.

"Mich... Lori." Andrea wrestled away from the EMT who insisted on looking her over for any injures, and RJ stopped Andrea since her clothes were evidence, but they could still hold hands. "Where's Amy? I haven't seen Amy?"

Michonne and Lori both sobbed a little harder at the mention of the youngest Harrison's name, Andrea's heart stopped, and she tried to find her sister, but RJ and the EMT stopped her. She fought to the point of the EMT having to sedate her. She was going to hurt herself, not to mention others if she kept it up, and they placed her down on a gurney.

"What did you do to her?" Michonne demanded.

"It's a mild sedative." The woman met her eyes. "She'll wake up in a couple hours. If you'll excuse me, I have other wounded to tend to."

RJ stepped in. "You should get home. It's chaos here."

"She is my home," Michonne snapped. "Why did you let her drug Andrea? She just wants to know where her sister."

"Because the last thing we need is a hysterical teenager running around, screaming for her sister," Rj snapped right back. "I have son here, and I can't even see him! I have reports of three dead teenager boys, two injured male adults, two woman who were almost raped, and I don't know who is who!"

Michonne flinched. "I'm sorry."

"Go find your parents. They need to see you, trust me." He looked away with tears in his eyes. "Go, all of you."

Michonne hugged them one last time and went to find her parents in the shouting horde, Lori went to find where her mother was being taken, and Carol stayed by the car with Daryl and her son. She knew her dad would be a mess, but she couldn't move. She couldn't feel her legs. She couldn't do anything right now. The audio of the world went mute as her eyes fell on the body bags, on Dale and Tyreese being carried out, and she felt the world blacking out around her.

"Carol?" Daryl called her once more. "Carol?"

"Carol!"

She jolted at Daryl's hand slipping into hers and her eyes lifted to find her dad racing over to her. "Dad..." She gripped Daryl's hand tightly before meeting her dad halfway. She buried her face in his shoulder as he kissed her hair and held her tight in his arms.

"Oh, thank God. Oh, thank God." He spotted Daryl and was finally able to freely breath. The chains wrapped his body fell at confirming all of his family was okay, and he cried. "Oh, thank you, God." He guided Carol over to where Daryl was standing up to let Axel hold Clay, but Axel pulled Daryl into the hug as well. "Thank God."

––

Somehow they had ended up at the hospital, Lori and Michonne sat in silent while Daryl paced with Clay in his arms, and Carol and Axel waited for Karen to show. Andrea and Amy were being examined by their family doctor at their father's insistence. Amy refused to be taken away from Andrea and their mother, and Allan wept. She hadn't been anything but bruised, but that kid came so close. If Tyreese hadn't have tackled him, he would have raped Amy. Also if Tyreese hadn't tackled him off, he wouldn't have gotten shot twice in the chest, so no good deed goes unpunished. No good deed felt enough right now.

Karen stood outside the room Tyreese was in, bawling deeply at the sight of him, and Bob was inside with his daughter, just talking to him. Sasha had come out to speak with her and let her know she was welcome to join them, but Karen couldn't speak.

"I couldn't do anything," Karen wheezed. "I tri—I tried, and Amy..."

"Hey, you did more than anyone other woman in that damned gym." Sasha ran her eyes over her face. "You offered yourself up to save Amy, and that was brave. That was...really brave, Karen. You did more than I did. You...you stopped Negan from killing my brother. You and those heels."

She sputtered and covered her mouth with her hand.

"He'll be fine. I promise he will be." She pulled her into a hug. "He has so much he loves here. You can't even imagine how much."

"Then why am I so scared?" Karen buried her face into her shoulder, and Sasha hushed her.

"I'm scared too," Sasha confessed. "Bob told me ten time over how Ty would be okay, but I'm still shaking. I'm so worried he won't be here for my daughter's first birthday. I know he'll pull through, but I _am_ scared."

"I need him to be okay, Sasha. I love him so much." She couldn't handle living in this world with him gone. Him and Dawn and her kid. It just piled on and on, and all of the good, all of those she loved, fell out of sight. She walked away alone. For seventeen years, she walked away alone. Please, let that cycle break. Please!

––

Andrea stroked Amy's hair as she held her in her arms, her young sister sleeping from the sedative she'd been given after the massive panic attack a random male doctor had given her, and she held her close. She had no more tears to cry. She had no more rage, no more anger, no more anything. She was thankful to be alive. Thankful Dale and Tyreese and Amy were alive. Thankful Negan wasn't.

Her dad told them the news a few hours ago. After he got Tyreese, the cops shot him through the gym door windows, and he didn't survive the trip to the hospital. Dwight was shot too, purposfully, trying to get them to kill him, but he was shot in the leg instead. The other men tried to flee, but idiots were trapped inside just like the rest of them. It would seem their guns weren't even loaded, only Negan's and Dwight's and Arat's. They were all arrested, and they would be face trial. Just like Dwight. Not Arat...who killed himself right then and there. Amy...was only a few feet from his dead body, and she kept screaming every time she closed her eyes. Every single time.

This was all over the news, mostly where Andrea got her information, and she didn't know how she was going to face that school again. Face seeing Dale when she wore his blood only hours ago. Face Michonne who had to watch her little sister be stripped down and nearly assaulted. God, they just recovered from Carol, and now Amy and Karen...

She buried her face in Amy's hair, the scent of hospital shampoo underwhelming, and she closed her eyes to try and sleep. She wasn't sure that possible, but Dad didn't want them home until they were both released. Amy...was the point of concern. The doctors were worried about her mental state after the attempted assault. It was...worsened due to seeing Karen being stripped and informed of what was going to happen to her. It was worsened due to Dwight putting his gun to her head.

She wrapped her arms around her little sister, Amy exhaled softly, and Andrea smiled at the sound. She hoped Amy could be as at peace as that simple exhale. But it was all she could do: hope.

"Hey, sweetheart." Mom entered the room and kissed her hair. "Dad's going to get the car. I talked him into letting us go home."

"Is that a good idea?" Andrea rolled onto her back to look up at her mother.

"Yes. We'll stay with Amy tonight, and...um, well some changes are gonna happen, but we'll work through them." She smiled lovingly at her daughter and set a duffel bag of clean clothes on the bed. "Get dressed."

"Is Michonne still in the lobby?" Andrea pushed herself up, pulling the jeans out of the bag and happily pulling them on. "And my friends?"

"Well, no, not Michonne, but the others are in the lobby." Mom turned to let Andrea put her bra and t-shirt on. "Carol and Lori are excited to see you, so we have to stop and say good night to them on the way."

"But my girlfriend's not?" Andrea frowned, moving hair behind her ears and collecting her tennis shoes. "Where did she go?"

"Outside your room." She faced her and smiled softly. "I knew you'd want to see her, and I have to get Amy clothed, so go on."

"What? For real?" Andrea grinned and hurried to the door, throwing the hospital gown in the trash on the way and finding herself in Michonne's arms before she could see her. "Michonne." She wanted to see her face, but Michonne wanted to be sure this was real and she was okay.

By the time Michonne pulled her back, Andrea was covered in happy tears and smiles, and Michonne wiped the tears away.

"I love you." Michonne studied her face. "I'm so sorry. I should have gotten Amy when you said. I should have moved and done—"

"No, no, it's not your fault." She shook her head. "It's not okay what happened, but it was them. It wasn't you."

"How is she?"

"She's...fragile. Negan nearly dislocated her shoulder, humiliated her in front of every person she knows, and Dwight pulled a gun on her." She pressed her lips together. "I don't think she'll ever be okay again, Michonne."

"I'm so sorry."

"Dad...isn't taking it well either. He's already overprotective, but now? I think he might force us into homeschooling, and I'm not sure I have a car anymore."

"What? No, that's extreme. I mean... He can't do that. We have prom and graduation, and you should walk with our class." Michonne felt selfish saying all of those things. Selfish and incredible guilty.

"I know my dad pretty well to know he's going to try, but I'm not going to be home schooled. Amy might agree, but I won't let some fuckers destroy my life. They're either dead or arrested, and..." She trailed off. "I feel sick to my stomach, Michonne. I feel like...throwing up, and I feel weak. I feel small. I don't like it. People died today, and I'm too scared to admit that I am terrified of how I feel."

"You aren't the only one struggling."

"I just can't do this. Amy needs me, and my parents need me, but... I need, too, you know? I...I fell in Dale's blood. I...watched him bleed out, and I thought he was dead. I see that every time I close my eyes, and I feel like it shouldn't be there, because he's in recovery. Probably, I dunno. No one will tell me, but I know he's alive."

"If you need me, I'm here, Andrea. I meant that." She stroked her cheek. "I love you, and I want to help you through this. Or at least be by you while you work through it."

"I love you too." She wrapped her arms around her. "I know you can't be with me tonight, but as soon as our parents let you over, come. Please."

"Of course."

– – –

The night at home, Karen had taken a long shower, Axel made everyone some tea and breakfast food, and Daryl helped him serve it. Clay was asleep again, Lori wasn't hungry, and Carol held her mom's hand when she finally joined them. It was dead silent in the house, only scraping silverware on ceramic. Lori drank a cup of hot chocolate and picked at her pancakes, Karen forced self to eat, and Carol ensured Mom wasn't adding anything to her tea. Daryl and Axel observed, saying nothing. There was nothing really to say.

Daryl helped clear the plates, and Lori approached him, eyes still swollen and red, drowning in her blanket she'd pulled off her bed. She got very close to him, and he was backed up against the counter. She followed, and he was worried about her proximity.

"Lori, what are you doin'?" He couldn't move from how she had him pinned, her body only inches away from him, and he didn't want anyone to walk in and misunderstand this situation. Hell, he didn't even understand to explain how it wasn't how it looked. She didn't like him. She didn't trust him, so why was she so close to him?

She lifted her eyes from his chest to his eyes and swallowed hard. "I'm guilty of something."

"Does that something involve me?" He searched her eyes, and she nodded. "What is it?"

"It's awful," she whispered. "Really awful. Carol's gonna hate me for it. I hate me for it."

"What do you mean? Why do you have to say?"

She inhaled deeply, raising a hand to set on his shoulder, and he tensed instantly when she hugged him. "I'm sorry."

"Why are you sorry?"

"Because," her lips trembled against his ear, her eyes filling once more with tears of guilt and shame, and held the back of his head like she did with his son, "when the mentioned there was a shooter, I thought it was you."

His blood ran cold, his heart stopped in its pace, and everything drained away. He pushed her away from him, she caught herself on the island, and remorseful eyes studied him. He had no words. He had no...will to speak. He simply walked out, and Lori sobbed silently.

"I'm sorry..."

––

Everyone had spoken and hugged and cried and prayed and praised and...mourned. School was cancelled for two weeks. They held a candlelight vigil for the students who had died, a prayer circle was made for Tyreese and Dale and Amy, donations were taken to help pay off Dale and Ty's hospital debt to come, but Allan had already paid their bills off. So the donations were still collected, and the student council president and the principal would figure out exactly how to use them to offer as a reminder of this wound and a way forward to prevent this from happening again.

– – –

"Hey, handsome." Karen greeted Tyreese as he woke up for the second time that day, moving hair from her face and grinning down at him. "It's just us, by the way. Your sister and brother-in-law went home to check on the baby."

He inhaled deeply and winced.

"Easy." Her grin lost its shining edges. "Take it easy, Tyreese."

"I'm fine." He lifted his hand to caress her cheek. "Are you fine?"

She kissed his palm and smiled down him. "I'm fine." She leaned over and kissed him.

"Hey, easy on the hanky panky." Sasha entered the room with a brown bag in her arms. "See, this is why I told Bob to home, and I'd get food for us. I knew you'd jump him the second we were gone."

Karen laughed lightly. "I should have known you weren't really leaving."

"He's my brother. Of course I'm not leaving him two days after he'd been shot." She sat the door bag down. "Besides this gives me a chance outside school to get to know his girlfriend."

Karen flushed and tried to think of a way out of this, but Tyreese smiled and kissed his girlfriend's hand. "I think that's a great idea. Two most important women in my life, bonding."

"Hey, that's three women." Sasha lightly scolded him. "Your niece."

"She ain't bonding with you two, and she's not even a year old. She's no woman." He exhaled and studied Karen. "You all right with that?"

"Of course. I've been meaning to get to know you sooner, but I didn't expect it to happen over your brother's healing body."

"When did you expect it to happen? When you're sneaking out of his apartment to avoid me, or when you would dodge me in the halls?"

Karen bit back a wince and met her eyes. "I don't do families. I'm sorry. I don't have one of my own, so I avoid them."

"You have two kids, a grandson and a husband," Sasha replied.

"Sasha," Ty chided gently. "You know it isn't like that."

"It still gets under my skin. It's cheating, it's adultry, plain and simple. You made a vow, and I know it wasn't the one I made to my husband, but it is still a vow."

"I know it is." Karen laced her fingers through Tyreese's. "And we're divorcing, for your information. We've been trying to do it since I realized how I feel about your brother. Axel is busy with work, and there's a lot we have to decide on together."

"How convenient."

"And I never had parents or siblings," Karen continued. "Every I have know—from my two daughters to my grandson to my "husband"—is something I had to build from the ground up. Axel's parents are long gone, and I don't care what happened to mine, so no. I don't know how to interact with you or Bob, because I am socially awkward with families since mine ignored me, and you hate me."

"I don't hate you. I hate this." She gestured between them. "You're wearing a wedding ring, for Christ's sake."

"It's Dawn." Karen looked down at her finger. "It's from her family. She married and was buried with another ring Axel gave her, but Dawn and Mel both felt I should have this to carry it on. I'll give it to Carol when or if I have another to replace it, but until then this ring...stays. It has a lot of sentimental value for me."

Sasha eyed her. "You never slept with Axel?"

"Sasha!" Ty glared.

"No, I have to know. Was it always friendly? You two didn't heat up the sheets when you drank too much? Got too lonely? Never?"

"Never." She moistened her lips and smiled fondly. "He loves Dawn, and I am not his type. Besides I had school and our daughters, and he lived in his office. He's...more of a feeling, to me than a person."

"A feeling?"

"I love Axel. I owe him my life and sanity, and I love him like...I love Carol and Lori. He's my family. He healed me when I didn't know that part of me could be healed. He's this force of friendship and love and encouragement. He's the best person I've ever known, and that's all thanks to Dawn. If I ever loved either of them intimately, it might have been her, but never him. He's too...much of her, if you can understand that."

Sasha blinked. "Wait, what?"

She laughed gently. "I was...saved by Dawn, so I think I was in love with her in youth, but it wasn't really love. It's complicated, and my therapist barely got me to understand it, but there's between me and Axel. He's...a piece of me, like my daughters and my grandson, and that's all."

"I don't understand it," Sasha remarked, "but I get...most of it, and I do want to know you. I'll never okay with you two until you divorce, but...I want to know the woman my brother loves, so I'll deal. It's my issue, and it shouldn't affect any relationship we may have. I mean, I adore Carol, and you helped raise her, so...you can't be terrible."

"Thanks, I suppose."

She set the bag down and unpacked it. "None for Tyreese, but here. He told me what you liked."

"How about a little bit for Tyreese?" Ty suggested. "They'll never know."

"If you want it bad enough, you can taste it when you make out with her later." Sasha smiled sweetly. "But no."

He pressed his lips together and viewed her through narrow eyes. "You're just cruel."

"I try." She looked at Karen. "So, what are your intentions with my brother? You've been dating for a long time, so...where is this going?"

Karen smiled down at Tyreese. "Yeah, where is this going, Ty?"

On second thought, maybe it wasn't a good idea for the two most important women in his life to bond over his healing body.

––

"Hey, sweetie?"

Andrea looked over from where Amy slept on her lap and found her mom in the doorway. "What is it?"

"You have a guest. I'll take over here."

"Oh?" She frowned at who the hell would be here this late and carefully moved Amy's head off her lap. "Hey, I was thinking about that service dog thing for Amy. I thin it might help. There's some articles and documents on the tablet. Read them over. Please."

"Okay. Your dad's in the office for the night." She kissed her forehead. "So don't worry about volume. If you need to vent, go right ahead."

"Oh, is it the doctor?" Andrea fussed. "Mom, I don't need Dr. Holland to come over here and talk to me." Besides she was a smoking hot ginger who Andrea had a crush on. It felt awkward to talk about feelings to her.

"It's not Dr. Holland, but you can vent to friends, too, you know." She sat down on the bed, Amy instantly curled up to the warmth, and she smiled at her daughters. "I love you girls so much. I want you to be all right, so do what you need to do to be all right. Just...don't get drunk or do pills. Please."

"I'll just scream at Dr. Holland." She waved on her way out and headed down the hall, stopping only briefly to remember she was in underwear and a tank top. She stopped by her bedroom to change into clothes before meeting Dr. Holland, and she found Michonne on her bed. The other sexy woman. "What...?"

She looked up from her phone and flashed a smile. "Hey. You're slow at walking. I've been in here for twenty-five minutes."

"I thought you were Dr. Holland."

"No, but I can pretend if you wanna pay me like Dr. Holland." She tossed her phone to the foot of the bed and faced her, laughter and teasing leaving her beautiful face, and she met her girlfriend's eyes. "You haven't been eating lately."

"Mich—"

"Which means," she contined, not caring about interrupting Andrea, "you've been lying to me for three days."

She dropped her eyes and sighed. "I'm sorry."

"I don't care if you are sorry or not sorry. I care if you eat. I care that you aren't sleeping. I care that you aren't telling me any of this!" She was on her feet now, staring Andrea down. "We're supposed to talk to each other. We're friends. Goddamn it, before anything else we are friends, so why didn't you tell me?!"

"Because I don't care if I eat or sleep or speak," Andrea replied, pointing behind her. "I care if Amy does those thing. She needs me, and I can't waste time on... other things."

"Other things that keep you alive, asshole." She huffed and met her eyes. "I love you as much as you love Amy. So imagine if you heard from your mother how Amy doesn't eat or sleep or speak the truth after just talking to Amy not even an hour ago? Listening all of her bullshit lies about how good dinner was and happy she was to see progress in her sister?"

"I'm sorry, and I know you don't want to hear it, but I am. I need her to be okay. It's been three days since the shooting, and she's not...recognizable to me, Michonne. I've known her all her life, and I can't recognize her! Do you have any idea how that feels?"

"It's not your responsibility to suffer as she suffers, Andrea. I understand how much this hurts you, but you can't wither away alongside her. You have to support her, show her how to recover, not...not join her in the dirt. I know it sounds harsh, but she needs you to guide. Like you've always done. Be an example. Be the person everyone loves."

"I want to be that person again, but...she want things, Michonne. That person wants things, and I can't ask for them. I can't."

"Of course you can." She closed the space between them and clasped her hands. "You can ask and have them. You can be you and help Amy through this by example and with support. She needs that, and so do your parents. So do I. I can't take any more lies, Andrea. I can't when they're destroying you."

"What I want is stupidly selfish, especially right now." She shook her head and decided to just lay everything out. "I want to have sex with you, Michonne. Ever since that summer trip, I've wanted to have sex with you. I feel like you don't want me in that way, because whenever I tried to make a move for sex, you stopped me. It tore at me and my self-esteem, because you say you love me, but...

"And now with Amy, I still want to have sex with you, but now it's not only that I love you. It's partly because I don't know what the hell is going to happen to us tomorrow or next week or next month or next year. If we even get a next anything, and I want to give myself to you in every possible way, because I love you. I love you, and I want you, and... I'm scared you don't want me. I'm scared we'll just fall apart either way, and I'll lose you once we graduate.

"And I can't lose you. I've thought about going off to college, and you not being there, and it kills me. It actually kills me at the thought of you not being with me as my girlfriend, and I don't care that I'm seventeen and this is the first time I've been in love. I care that you are my best friend and I love you and I want you in my life. I always want you in my life, and...I can't be who I am without admitting that I need you. I want you in every way, and I'm sorry if that's too much to ask for, but it's the truth. If you want something real or something honest, there it is. I can handle Amy and her anguish. I can handle my dad trying to wrap us up in blankets and coddle us. I can handle my shit, but I can't...do all of that without you here, supporting me so I can support them and you back."

"Of course I want you back," Michonne didn't pause. "I love you, and I only avoided you during that stupid trip is because I have no clue what the hell do to."

"What do you mean?"

"Andrea, I've never...had sex before. I don't what the hell we're supposed to do, especially as girls, and porn aside, I can't even..." She heaved a sigh. "I just don't want it to be awkward or embarrassing."

She laughed softly. "You're nervous? So am I. I've been looking into it, because I want it feel good. I want you to feel good, and...I want it to be special. Like how Carol used to talk about her first time. I love you, and I want to take this step with you. Even if it's bumpy and awkward, we'll...learn from it. I mean, that's all we can do with anything, isn't it? Learn from it?"

"Are you seriously going nerd on having sex with me?"

She wrapped her arms around her shoulders. "I thought you liked nerds."

"Clearly that happened without me knowing it." She laughed softly. "Are you sure?"

"Yes, I'm sure. Timing is...what it is, but I want you. God, I've wanted you for years, and now I have you, but...I want all of you. I want to see all of you and feel all of you. I don't care if I sound like a desperate virgin—it's the truth." She laughed when Michonne nodded her head, and she kissed her. "Please, don't you want that too?"

"Of course." She smiled at her. "But first I ordered a pizza, and you're going to eat all of it."

"Could we fool around until it gets here?"

"I mean, yeah, what else were we going to do?" She chuckled, and Andrea kissed her.

––

They ate together, Andrea's mom set a text to wish them good night since Amy was latched onto her like a leech, and Andrea drew a bath in the guest bedroom. It was the second biggest tub in the house, and she wanted to scrub the scent of Amy and lounging around off her body. She also wanted to be clean before Michonne and she really did anything, and Michonne did like bubble baths, too, so.

They bathed for an hour, just talking and enjoying the cucumber-mint bath oils, and they wrapped themselves up in towels, draining the water. Michonne felt like she'd been to the spa, and Andrea suggested she come by and bathe more often. It wasn't like anyone used that bathroom anyway. It was mostly for guests, but all of their guests stayed at fancy hotels or their second houses or whatever. So it was like a free for all. Tonight it was theirs, maybe even tomorrow morning it could be theirs.

"So...remember how I said I was nervous?" Andrea gulped and stood with her back to Michonne.

"Andrea, it's okay to back out now."

"No, nervous doesn't mean I don't want to do this. Unless you don't want to do this." She bit her bottom lip. "You want this, right?"

"Turn around, Andrea."

She drew in a deep breath and turned to face her girlfriend, choking on the air at the sight of Michonne absolutely naked with the towel on the floor around her feet, and she ran her eyes over the bare skin, her heart pounding in her chest and ears. The anxiety that once sliced through her smoothed out as lust pooled between her thighs, filling her lungs desire and need, and she closed the space between them, seizing Michonne's mouth and cupping a hand to her cheek.

Michonne encircled her hips through the towel, pulling her close, and she could taste the mint of her toothpaste on her lips. She nearly chuckled, because Andrea never mentioned brushing her teeth. It must have been a last minute decision before she called her for the bath. She traced her tongue along Andrea's bottom lip, the cool mint burning on the tip of her tongue, and Andrea parted her lips to allow Michonne's tongue entry. She took that permission and entwined her tongue with her girlfriends.

They both pulled their bodies back enough to remove the towel from Andrea's body, Andrea slid her arms around Michonne's shoulders, and Michonne weaved her fingers through soft waves, pulling Andrea closer. There was an unspoken trust there, an unspoken command as well, and they both moved back for the bed. Andrea stopped only to pull back and ensure the door was locked in case Dad came out of his office.

Michonne laughed until Andrea returned to her with hands on her hips and narrow eyes. She cleared her throat, and Andrea pushed her down onto the bed for laughing at her. Michonne caught her hips and pulled her down as well, their legs tangling, and the laughter died when their lips met once more. Andrea placed soft kisses to Michonne's lips before catching her mouth in a deeper kiss, Michonne's hands traveled down her body, her hand cupping Andrea's ass and pulling her closer, adjusting her leg so Andrea's center rubbed against it.

She moaned and dug her nails into the bed, Michonne grasped a handful of her hair, tugging on it, and Andrea gasped gently. Her body responding more and more to every move Michonne made. Her body had always been ultra responsive to her, but it was even more heightened today. Every time Michonne touched her naked body, her body clench and ached, and she felt so loved and wanted, and she couldn't breathe from the weight of it all.

She broke their kiss and traveled down Michonne's jawline towards her collarbone, Michonne panted as she went further, her hand moving from the bed to her breast, kneading it, and her mouth closed around the other breast. Her mouth aped her hand, and Michonne moaned, eyes closed. Her lips parted at the scrapping of teeth across her flesh, and she could feel the pleased grin on Andrea's lips against her breast. She would definitely have to return the favor later, because her brain power diminished more and more as her tongue swirled over her nipple and the other nipple was being rolled and pinched.

Andrea released her nipple with a tug between her lips, Michonne rolled her over to her side with her hips and caught her mouth, stroking her tongue hard. She glided her hands down to Andrea's ass and brought her flush against her, and Andrea half-moaned, half-gasped at the feel of Michonne's sex against hers. She had to break the kiss to try and breath, but she couldn't stop the burning in her lungs.

"Do you like that?" Michonne genuinely asked.

She nodded and chuckled, kissing her softly. "I want more," she managed. "God, I _need_ more."

She kissed her softly. "Do you remember that time in the pool? Well, after the pool." She tucked hair behind her ear.

"God, yes." Her body tingled delightfully at the memory. "Will you do that now?"

"No." She smiled at her. "Now I'm going to explore."

"What?" She tried to ask but her question was swallowed in a brief kiss. Michonne rolled her onto her back, kisses and softly bites were given on her way down Andrea's body, and she felt a hand over her mons, understanding now what Michonne meant about exploring, and her vision blurred at the feel of her tongue entering her body. She was used to her fingers, but never her tongue.

"Fuck, Michonne!" She gasped, her back arching at her fingers entering her as well, and she gasped deeply, her body reacting to the sensations, and she couldn't still her hips, though Michonne didn't seem bothered by the thrusting. In fact, Michonne seemed very at home, exploring every inch inside her with her tongue and fingers, and Andrea's toes curled at her thorough exploration, losing herself and her grip on reality as she dove deeper and pumped her fingers harder.

––

The room slowly came back into focus for Michonne, her chest heaving as her lungs struggled to function, and Andrea sat between her legs, licking her lips and drinking in her expression. Michonne urged her to come here, and Andrea lied down on top of her, pulling the blanket over them, kissing her, and Michonne wrapped her arms around her back.

"I love you." She rested her head on her chest, smiling softly.

"I love you too." She stroked the small of her back. "I'm going to do some research myself for the next time."

Andrea grinned. "Oh, the next time?"

"What, you want this to be a one time thing?"

"God, no." She sat up somewhat on her elbow. "I definitely want to do that again."

"Good." She kissed her gently, Andrea grasped her cheek, and there was an ache for more growing in her belly.

Andrea ran her teeth over her bottom lip. "Maybe...we can do...more now?"

"I was thinking the same thing."

She giggled and kissed her once more.

– – –

Carol woke up to Clay crying, and she sat up, seeing her bedroom and the soft light the sun cast inside through the open blinds on the back door. She swung out of bed and hurried over to the crib, picking up him and finding him wet.

"I know that's not a good start to the morning. C'mon."

She decided to give him a bath instead of just changing his diaper, enjoying the scents of the morning bath soap, and she smiled at him as he played with the bubbles and tried to eat them. She tickled his little belly and glanced at the doorway, wishing Daryl would walk through it, but he hadn't been back since that first night. He didn't have his phone on him. He'd left it at the house that night, so there was no way for her to get in contact with him. She had time off from Hershel's due to the shooting, so she was going to use this time to hunt him down. She didn't know why he was gone, but she was going to find out.

She carried Clay upstairs, finding Mom and Lori doing some cleaning, and she noticed Dad was still home, because his favorite cup was sitting on the coffee table, still full of water or what she hoped was water. She was tempted to know what was going on, but she had a feeling she didn't want to know.

"Hey, kiddos." Axel kissed the top of his grandson's head and smiled at his daughter. "You're up early."

"Wet diaper." She pointed to Mom and Lori. "What's up with this?"

"I don't know. I'm scared to get involved, and I have a meeting in forty minutes. Wish me luck to figure it out."

"Good luck." She headed to the kitchen, grabbing some snacks for Clay and a breakfast bar for herself. She departed without a backward glance but a verbal goodbye. She set Clay up in his car seat, fighting his kicking legs and his fussy attitude. He did not like the absence of his father at all. Carol couldn't imagine how hard college would be for the boy. Well, really for her. It'd be murder.

Carol stopped first by the meat shop, but it was being run by the other staff members Carol didn't know. She drove to Caesar's house instead, calling in to be sure he was home, and he told her to just come on in. He wanted some company since his boyfriend was off on the farm, and his dad refused to let him leave the house until they talked about what happened during the shooting. It'd been a lonely, boring and long few days, and while Dad said he couldn't go meet Paul, he never said people couldn't come see him.

"Hey." He greeted her, having beaten the housekeeper to the door. "You brought Clay?"

"Yeah, Mom has a...group she's been going to since the shooting, and Lori hasn't been helpful lately, so yeah."

"Come in." He took Clay from her carefully, and the boy grinned at him. "Aww, he's so cute. I think he likes me."

"He loves you." She smiled at him and closed the door. "Where's Paul?"

"At the farm. His mom...is closing in on him, and my dad doesn't want me to leave until I talk about the shooting." He led her to the living room and sat down with Clay on his lap. "I... I'm not traumatize over it. I've prayed, given my condolences, and all of it. I just...want to put it behind me. Not behind the school, because it needs to be recognized so it never happens again, but behind me as a person. I mean, I called the cops on them, so it makes me feel better about it."

"I thought Zeke called the cops." She tucked her skirt under her butt when she sat down in the loveseat across from him.

"He did, but so did I." He met her eyes, somewhat embarrassed. "See, there's a...locker in the guy's locker room that...leads to the school's old...showers. It's been cleaned out to keep any toxic mold from growing, but they never paved over it. So...Paul and I were down there at break."

Her jaw fell open, and she blinked. "At school?"

"We were just talking at first."

"Yeah, in the hidden room at school. You could have talked anywhere, but you chose the hidden room. I don't buy that at all."

"Okay, so we were making out. We didn't go...much further." He averted his eyes as heat cross his cheeks. "And Dad heard I wasn't in the gym, and neither was Paul. He has rules, and I've been breaking the crap out of them."

"He knows about you too? Aww, he's supportive?" He nodded. "That is awesome. Why can't you respect his rules?"

"Because I'm a horny teenager?" He offered then flickered his eyes to hers. "Wait, you literally boned Daryl before school once. Why am I embarrassed? You're just as bad!"

The flush on his cheeks jumped onto hers, and she pressed her lips together, not speaking.

"And trust me, I know how Daryl looks after sex, so you two definitely did it."

"Fine, okay, once, but not at the school."

"We both broke rules as horny teenagers, so don't get started with me. I'm holding evidence of your horniness, so please, fight me."

She chuckled. "Okay, speaking of my boyfriend, have you heard from him? Or seen him? He's been...kinda gone for the past four days."

"No, I haven't seen him. Is he all right?"

Her heart pinched as one box mentally checked itself off. "I don't know. His phone is at my house, and I haven't gotten him at his apartment. I'm worried. Ever since Merle was arrested, I've been worried."

"Oh, shit, did he hear what those assholes were saying?"

"What assholes?" Her pinched heart dropped to her knees, and she eyed him. "Tell me what was said."

"People...mostly asshole jocks who don't like Daryl...thought he was one of the shooters. 'Cause of Merle and all." He gulped as color fell from his face and a muscle tightened in her jaw. He watched red color her face, and he moved beside her, taking her hand, which she damn near broke at how tight she held it. "Hey, hey, stop. They're not important right now. If you didn't know, he probably doesn't know. It could just be Merle. He loves his brother."

"How could they say that about him? He's the best guy in our entire school." She released her death grip on his hand. "I hate people."

"Dude, same." He inhaled and smiled at her. "I'll help you find him, okay? My dad will understand."

"I'm sure he will." Amaro stood in the doorway. "But not today. We have guests."

"Oh, I shouldn't impose then." Carol tried to stand up, but Caesar wouldn't let go of her hand. "Or not. I love people." She studied him and frowned.

His jaw was clenched, a muscle jumping in that jaw, and the happy laughter in his eyes was gone. Instead a shield fell down over them, and his body language was unease. His grip on her was tight but desperate. She knew he needed her support, and as much as she wanted to locate Daryl, she would stay. Mostly, she had no choice, because he was a seriously jacked football player, but partly because she loved him and wanted to support him.

"Carol, I'd like to introduce you to my ex-wife, Sinna Rodriguez." He motioned for her to come in. "And my daughter, Perrie Martinez."

"Daughter?" Carol's eyes widened, and she felt Caesar's grip tighten.

The pair entered the room, and Carol was stunned. Sinna Rodriguez was a knockout. She had such a lovely face with soft obsidan eyes, a warm naturally scarlet smile, the same hair color and type as her son, only hers was a longer, down to her shoulders. She had on jeans and a loose green blouse, but even in that she looked ready for a catwalk.

And Perrie was...holy crap, seriously the cutest little girl ever. She looked similar to Caesar, but the eyes shape was more of her mother's, and her smile was all Amaro. She had a beauty mark in the same place as Caesar, and she was about to jump out of skin to meet him.

"Sinna, Perrie, this is Carol Callies."

"Hi." Carol tried to stand to shake her hand, but Caesar wouldn't let her, and she opted for a wave. "Uh, this is my son, Clay, by the way."

"Oh." Sinna flashed a stunned look to Amaro then smiled to the girl. "I didn't know...you had a son."

"You...don't know, because why would you?" Caesar finally spoke. "And no, he isn't mine. So don't look so surprised."

"Caesar," Amaro warned.

"I have a friend missing, so I have to go." He stood up, loosening his grip on Carol's hand. "If you want to drop by in another eight years, you know where to find Dad."

"Hey, Caesar." Carol gripped his arm. "Don't do this."

"Let's go." He used his captured arm to pull her out through the second archway towards that angled towards the dining room and kitchen.

"Wait." Perrie ran after then. "Wait, please."

He stopped in his tracks, Carol looked behind them, and the girl stepped closer. Carol nudged on his arm until he turned to face her, and Perrie grinned at him, waving shyly, and Caesar forced a smile. Carol frowned at him, but he ignored it.

"What?" It was the most uninterested question in the entire world. He was more engaged at school than he was with her.

"I'm Perrie, and it's nice to meet you. I know it's...weird after so long, but Mommy told me all about you." She stepped closer. "And I wanna know all about you from you, so could I come with you?"

"Sorry, kid. You gotta be in my life a year to ride this ride." With that, he turned and walked away.

Perrie's eyes fill with tears, and she nodded slowly.

"Hey." Carol knelt down and smiled at her. "He ate some sour grapes, so he's in a bit of a mood, but I will get him back here in an hour. We'll go to the park, and we'll get some ice cream. It'll be great."

"You mean it?" She wiped at her eye. "I don't think he likes me."

"Oh, he'll love you. I promise." She rubbed her arm. "I'll be back with your brother. Promise."

She nodded. "Thank you."

She straightened and went after Caesar, who already had her car unlocked and Clay in his seat. "Hey!" She ran over to him. "What the hell? You have a little sister?"

"Nope." He closed the door. "Dad has a second kid, but that's it. I'm an only child. Let's go find Daryl."

"Caesar, she looks just like you."

"That's racist."

"Don't be an asshole. She is your little sister. Eight years, you said? Isn't that when your mom left? She was pregnant?"

"I guess. Who cares?"

"You do. It hurts you. I know it does." She searched his eyes. "I know how you feel about your mother. I know this cuts deep. You can resolve this, Caesar. You just have to talk to her. You have to confront her."

"I have to find my actual family. Daryl. He needs us. Sinna can hop on my dad's money and fuck off." He walked around to the passenger side and climbed into the car.

She heaved a sigh and prayed that Daryl could be okay, because she couldn't look for him today. Tomorrow, she would be all over it, but she had someone else who needed her right now. At least Daryl had gone off on his own. He consented to it. Caesar clearly didn't not want this. So Carol needed to talk to him. And maybe bring Paul into it.

They headed out, Clay was babbling in the backseat and Caesar laughed, babbling back at him, and Carol giggled. He was so sweet with Clay. She loved that about him. No matter what his mood was, he'd always put on a smile to amuse her son. She loved him for it, so she had to love him through his, even when all she wanted to do was smack him.

"When did he tell you about Perrie?" Carol turned onto the highway, glancing at Caesar.

He sighed. "I dunno. After got back from the trip, probably. I blocked it out. It's not important information."

"It is important. You have a sibling, and your mother is back in town."

"Fuck her." He shook his head, his eyes burning at the memory of the last time he saw her, and he sank his teeth into his bottom lip.

"You need to talk to her about how you're feeling. She...left a scar, and she needs to explain why. Or you need to her to explain something. You need closure to move on, Caesar. I... I needed it too."

"With what? Your mom's already buried. Mine is here to ruin my life and walk out. I mean, what is this visit? Some lame attempt to get me and my sister caught up with each other? Why not come back she was pregnant? If she would have called, Dad would have paid for her flight. She had options, and she chose to come back eight years later? It wasn't for me. I'm not going to play this stupid game for her sake. Or my so-called sister's sake. Neither of them deserve it."

"Perrie loves you. You saw the when she came into the living room. She was...just stoked to see you." She looked over at him briefly. "You know it. I know it."

"So the kid likes me. I don't know her. I don't want to know her. I want my life back. I want to spend time with you and Daryl and my boyfriend with all of our other friends. I want my life to be mine. I don't want them to act like you come and go as they please, and it's totally cool with me. It's not!"

"They?" She frowned. "Who do you mean?"

"My asshole father. He wants to go back to Greece once I graduate to help my uncle business." His voice broke, and a mirthless chuckle escaped through trembling lips. "He thinks I'm so stupid. I know what he's doing. I've always known. Like him and Flo. They've been fucking for years. It might be a real relationship, but who knows? She's married, and he's...whatever."

"Wait, what?" She knew it! She knew there was more to their relationship than friendship and business, but oh, no. She was married. She was married. That isn't good. That's cheating. She didn't peg Amaro for a homewrecker.

"Yeah, I was probably sixteen when I walked home from a birthday party. It was boring, kids wanted to drink booze and take some pills, and I didn't want anything to do with that, but I knew my dad would freak out. So I walked. I had to use the backdoor where the maid is to keep my dad from knowing I was home early, and they were..." He shuddered, remembering exactly how his father's hand caressed her throat, kissing her temple, and she pulled him closer with her legs, and Caesar never sat at that end of the breakfast table again. And he never looked Flo in the eye again either. Mostly because she was downright sexy. One at point she lied back on the table, the shirt pulling down to reveal her breasts, jiggling from the force of his dad pounding into her. But still boobs, and bam! awkward teenager boner hit him, and he ran after that point.

"Wow. I never... Jesus, seriously?"

"Yep." He nodded, shuddering at the memory. "I mean, what else have they done it on? I used to eat Coco Puffs there." Though that did explain the wobbly table leg. "Oh, Christ." The desk in his office wobbled, too.

"What?" She was trying not to laugh as he rubbed his temple and tried to repress. "You poor thing."

"I mean, it's gross. I've seen them twice, and he thinks he's sly."

"How does that happen?" Carol snorted a laugh and gripped the wheel.

"Well, they weren't...having full on sex at my breakfast table the second time they were just dancing. Slow dancing, and Dad was whispering something that made her smile. I knew then she's in love with him, and it's real for her. She...head-over-heels in love with him, but him? I don't know. He used to do the same thing with my mom—dance with her, not screw her over my breakfast table—and I don't know. If he doesn't, I hate him."

"For using her for sex?" Carol guessed.

"For leading her on. Dad isn't a simple gesture kind of guy. He's all in. He's...a hundred roses, dinners in other countries, actual old-timey balls. It's not hard to see why she loves him, and he's always been this way, so it's not just her. He makes her feel special, but it's not just for her. That's why I hate him."

"Because it's not just you. It's Perrie now. And he's going back to where Perrie is housed and growing up once you're eighteen and out of his hair."

"...didn't say that."

"He raised you to be a good, confident man, and he knows he'd done that. He knows there is nothing more he needs to do, because you raise yourself now. You make mistakes and grow from them. You're not his little boy. You don't need his guidance."

"But I want it, Carol. How would you like it if your dad looked at and said, hey, sweetheart, I'm moving a thousand miles away? I mean, he's the only family I've known and had my back all the way, and I know it's childish and clingy, but I want him here in that house. He can keep screwing around with Flo, and it's fine. It's fine! But he has to stay there."

"Caesar, he isn't going to always be there."

"Clearly."

"If he loves Flo, he may marry her. They may have more kids, because that's who he is. He's a young guy, and he has can have more kids."

"He's pushin' forty. He doesn't need kids."

She laughed at the four-year-old beside her, and she rolled her eyes. "You're such a brat."

"It's true. Flo has twins, so he ran raise Ivan and Ian or whatever. They're ten. Or eleven." He scratched his head. "Fuck, this is a mess."

Carol's blood ran cold, and she slowed the car down. "Wait, what...what are her kids names?"

"Ivan and Ian Peletier." He looked over at her, and it clicked. "You didn't know...Flo was married to Ed."

"No." She heard honking at her speed, so she pulled over into the shoulder and gripped her seat belt. "Oh, my God." She rested head on the steering wheel.

"Yeah, I think that's why she and Dad got closer. Ed was...a brief partner of my dad's a long time ago. Dad didn't like the vibe he got from him, so he cancelled their contract, but...Flo was involved. He couldn't talk her out of it. I think she wanted a father for her kids, and Dad and Mom were still together, so Ed it was."

"They're not his?" Her head snapped up.

"No. She got knocked up at a Christmas party. Too much spiked eggnog. Dad offered to move her in and help, because he loves babies, but Mom." He chuckled at the memory. "Mom went off on him. I was nine, but I understood every word of her Spanish, and Dad offer other means of support. He gave her a raise and helped with the boys until he and Ed fell out."

"Small town." She squeezed her eyes shut. "God, she slept with that man and all he's done..." Distantly a memory flickered of her in the courthouse, and she blocked out. She'd made herself forget, and it worked. She wasn't going back to those days, even if she felt she knew about Ed and Flo and the boys. She wasn't going back.

"I think she and my dad have been involved for a long time. Like after my mom left long time." He ran his tongue over his bottom lip and thought back to how Flo was with them. "She was always around, and she held my dad up through everything. She was over affectionate to begin with, so I didn't notice, but now that I'm looking back, she definitely lingered. I think...she's always loved him."

"He's a great guy. Why wouldn't she love him?" She lifted her head. "Are you okay with that?"

"I mean, yeah, totally. Flo is...a great person, and she has always been involved with my dad through business. He trusts her more than anyone, and...I get it. I support it, but I don't know my dad anymore. He wants kids. He told me so himself, and Flo can give him those kids, but now...Perrie is here. Does he..still want Flo? Or is he good now that has Perrie? I don't feel okay with these questions, and I don't like how it makes me feel. I don't want to hate him, but I am. I... I want answers, but how can I confront them?"

"I'm terrible at confrontation." Her eyes shined with tears. "I am. I avoid. I repress. Guess you do too."

"It's so much easier than dealing, right?" He laughed weakly, his voice soft. "I can't go home. Please, don't force me to go back there."

"We're not." She snuffled and gripped the wheel. "We are going to play with horses and avoid."

"Thank God."

"But let's not fall back on bad habits, all right? We get this one day, and then you deal with your parents, I deal with Daryl and...talk to Denise."

"If you need me, I'm here for you. All of you."

"I know. Let's go fine the horsies." She looked back at Clay. "You wanna see the horsies?"

He grinned and babbled loudly and cheerfully.

"That's a yes." Caesar adjusted his seat belt. "Let's go get the horsies."

She laughed and pulled back onto the highway. "Just don't play with Paul's horsie."

"No promises."

She rolled her eyes and laughed with him, already feeling the dread of tomorrow on the back of her neck, but they weren't call mistakes without a good reason.


	26. Apart Together

_**Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot.**_

––

It had been two weeks since the school shooting, school was opening again on Monday, and no one was ready. Tyreese was still in the hospital, Dale wasn't even conscious yet, and it wasn't looking good for him. Tyreese was young and fit, and Negan hadn't shot to kill. He'd shot to led Ty bleed out slowly, but that fate wasn't in the cards, so he would be out of there by the end of the month. A long road to recover, but he could go home at the end of August. Or the first week of September. It wasn't fully decided on, but they were optimistic.

As for Amy, she'd agreed to homeschooling. She was in therapy and rarely left the house, Dr. Holland had approved the therapy animal, and Andrea had given her the precious chocolate lab pup with hazel eyes. It did wonders for her anxiety, and Amy was able to at least the mail and see friends again—at the house, anyway. Her parents were thrilled to see her coming out of herself, and it was reflecting in her sessions with Holland, who reported fewer panic attacks and nightmares, but it would be more difficult once she was back out in the world. Holland wanted to test it and have Andrea take Amy shopping this weekend with Michonne and any other friends Amy had. A stress test to see how far she'd come, if she could go at all.

And speaking of Andrea, who was hard to find most days, and Michonne who came over to visit, but the Harrisons hardly saw hide or hair of her until dinner was called. Amy suspected they were having sex, her parents didn't want to know the details, but Amy asked in the middle of dinner, and it was all downhill from there. Even if they lied and denied it, it wasn't going to be a good conversation, so now Andrea wasn't allowed to close her door with Michonne over. She also wasn't allowed to keep her hands under the table, and Andrea nearly died to hear her own father say that. She had to excuse herself, and her mom talked to her for a bit before they went back. Michonne had been quietly eating the entire time and once the last piece of food was gone, so was she. Andrea tried to sway her, but she could not handle that conversation any longer. She promised to see her at school and kissed her goodbye.

Caesar and Carol had gone to play with the horses and chilled with the Greenes and Rovias, Carol glared at Caesar when he and Paul vanished for a good thirty minutes, and she made him go horseback riding with her. It was deserved punishment as he continued to avoid and lie once he was home. He played the part of a good son and hung around with Sinna and Perrie and confronted no one. He didn't linger long with them, but enough to make Sinna and Perrie happy, though Dad knew it was fake and called him out on it. He replied he had school and went to bed without another word. They were leaving soon anyway, so why bother?

Carol...was stressed out. She hadn't found or heard from Daryl in two whole weeks, and no one else had seen him. She had even gone to talk to Merle, but he hadn't seen him either. He was just as apprehensive as she was, and he wanted to break out and locate him, but he was officially in prison now. It hurt Carol's heart to see him in those beige clothes and sporting some brusies. She asked how he was, and he only chuckled. She hugged him tightly and wished him well, that once she found Daryl, she'd bring him by, and Merle asked her not to. She frowned and demanded to know why the hell not, but he went back where she couldn't follow, and her heart broke.

Karen and Axel were discussing separating and dividing up their assets, which was tricky, because Karen seldom had any, and he didn't want her to leave empty handed, but she didn't want anything of his. They were arguing over this until the girls came home.

"Hey, girls." Karen grinned and adjusted the grades over the divorce papers. "You look cute. How was shopping?"

"Amy did great...until we went inside." Lori set her bags down on the coffee table. "We had to give her some of her medicine, the puppy, and Andrea hand to hold her hand, but we did have fun after an hour or two."

Karen nodded. "What did you buy?"

"I bought Clay some new shoes." Carol had worked the entire week last week after begging Hershel, and she wanted to spend her hard-earned cash. "I also some candles and bath salts."

"And a really cute dress," Lori added, tossing an arm around Carol's shoulders. "I spent an hour talking her into buying."

She blushed "It's okay."

"It's what she's wearing back to school." Lori winked at her. "That oughta draw Daryl out of hiding."

Axel and Karen exchanged a look, and Carol shrugged her arm off, and Lori heaved a sigh. No one mentioned Daryl in this household anymore. Lori had confessed to them what she said, and why she wouldn't give up Clay to him. She knew he wasn't like Merle or Will, but she was worried something had slipped through. Those pinpricks of doubt won out against what she knew of him, and she wanted to apologize. Carol already told her she was on thin ice, and Mom was so disappointed, but Dad got it. He just lectured her softly for an hour about it. She would swallow this punishment and do better. If he ever came back or was even alive.

"How's Clay?" Carol looked around for him. "He downstairs?"

"No." Karen pointed to the bags in the chair. "Mel came by and picked him up. She needs a few days with him. Her friends are coming down, and they are dying to see Clay, so...we let her take him. It's just till Monday."

"And she left me gifts? In exchange for my son?" Carol neared them and parted the bags and gasped. "Oh, my goodness."

"What?" Lori peeked inside and gasped. "Whoa."

"She made you ladies your junior prom dresses." Axel smiled at their reactions. "She made Dawn's too, and it was lovely."

"Yeah, real lovely on your hotel room floor," Karen teased.

"It was." He smirked and nudged her.

"Eww, guys, stop." Lori picked up a bag and pulled out a dress. "Who is whose?"

"That's Carol." Karen pointed to the one Lori held. "The purple is yours."

Carol looked over to see the deep red dress Nana had made for her. It was thin and had a slit up the thigh, and it had thin straps. It was barely meeting dress code, and she knew it would be a tight fit, because it just would be. "She wants me to wear this? Her seventeen-year-old granddaughter?"

"She's very in tune to currently fashion," Axel said through his teeth. "You should see your mother's."

"Well." Lori handed the dress over to Carol and dug hers out. It was nothing like Carol's. It was an indigo sleeveless gown with a black lace along the waistline and hem, and it had a matching shawl. It was soft and long. It was beautiful. "I'm going to try this on."

"Don't. You'll never take it off." Karen eyed her. "Just wait for prom. It's not that far off."

"Oh, please, it's at the end of the year! Mom, please? Just once?"

"Here, try this one on." Carol held out her dress, her heart feeling as light as the dress. Light and hollow. She didn't want that to follow her to prom. "I'm not going to prom."

"Why not?" Axel's lips drew a line as Lori accepted the dress Carol wasn't going to take. "Mel put a lot of work into that dress for you to wear. She wants to be here and get pictures."

"Well, I'm sorry, but I don't think prom is in the cards for me. I'll have a job and a one-year-old, and I don't even know where his father is, so no thanks."

"You can't let Daryl's decision affect your life."

"Dad, he's not just the father of my son, he's my boyfriend. I love him, and it's hard enough knowing his brother is unjustly in prison, but he is out there all alone, probably punishing himself for what happened. I can't help him. I can't find him. And I don't give a rat's ass about prom right now. I am sorry. I'll apologize to Nana, but I can't."

Lori gulped and set the dresses over her arm. "I—I didn't know you loved him."

"Love," Carol corrected. "I love him, and it's not like this dress or shopping or going back to school is going to make this okay. It's not. He's gone, and I want him back here with us. With family. Merle is being attacked in prison, and he doesn't want to see Daryl, and I can't fix it. I am trying so hard, but I can't."

"He'll come back once he figures out whatever he has to figure out." Karen slid off the couch and embraced her daughter. "He's going through so much, and he has to find himself in this mess."

"He can't do this finding with us?" Carol closed her eyes tight, but there were no tears. She was more lost than sad. "With me?"

"I don't know how hard he has to search, but he'll find his way back here. That much I do know." She kissed the top of her head. "You did nothing wrong. No one did."

"Wrong," Lori murmured. "I did. I... treated him like trash, and I probably...triggered him. Let's get real. I'm an asshole, and I should have been better than those jerks at school, but I wasn't. I've known the guy personally for over a year, and...I still backslid into he's dangerous, keep him away. I owe him such an apology."

"You do." Karen stroked Carol's hair. "But we all do. We didn't see the signs, and we let him slip away, so we all owe him an apology. And once he's back, I want him here with us. No arguments, Axel."

"Not gonna get one." He waited and accepted the looks of shock from their faces, and he explained. "I... almost lost of all you two weeks ago. I don't want to know that anxiety again. I want to be assured you're all better, and he's not. So, I want him here until he is. But there will be rules."

"Thank you, Daddy." Carol smiled at him. "Really, thank you."

"I want these rules taken seriously. I'll go into detail once he's back, but for now, who wants come grilled burgers?"

"That sounds lovely." Karen grinned at him. "I'll help you season."

"I'll dig out the s'more stuff." Lori waggle her brows and chuckled.

Carol smiled softly and remembered the last time she'd had s'more. How much had changed since that night. Once upon a time, eh? It was so long ago. She hoped it came again.

– – –

Daryl padded down the steps towards his truck, the last bit of hope ripped from him as his boot left the last step, and he drove home. He changed out of his clothes and had a shower. He scrubbed himself raw and stepped out to brush his teeth, and he looked over his face in the mirror. His eyes watched as flashes of Merle and Will revealed themselves, and he closed his eyes.

He clothed himself and grabbed his keys and Merle's wallet. He spotted Amaro coming over to his place, likely to check on him, and he ducked out through the side door to the bakery. He ran around to the back and drove off. He went to the once place he knew no one would care how his ID looked. He gave a nod to the bouncer, who knew both him and Merle, and at the news of Merle being a killer, he flinched and looked away from Daryl.

He chuckled and headed inside. The music was too loud, the pulse of Solo echoing on the floor and rolling through his boots and up his veins to rattle his teeth. He ran his eyes over the crowd, both people his own age and older, and the crowd was varied. He could make out some familiar faces, and there were a lot of new ones, but he knew where to look for what he wanted. What he would always really want, right?

"Whisky," Daryl told the bartender. "Double."

He looked the kid over and zeroed in on those baby blues. "You Merle's brother?"

"Yeah, it's Daryl."

"I know your brother pretty well. You sure you just want the double whiskey? We got a new shipment in, if you really want to loosen up." He licked his lips. "It's some good shit. Fuck you up in the best way."

Daryl chuckled. "All right, give me both."

"Yeah." He laughed. "Get my girl on it. Yo, Mareena!"

Daryl scratched his upper lip and looked over at his Mareena. She had to be twenty, twenty-one tops, long black hair, curves for miles, an ample bust barely contained in her tight crop top, and her painted lips smiled at him. He was being devoured by those dazzling coals of eyes, and she smiled a perfect smile at him.

"Man wants a good time," he informed her, kissing her cheek. "Give him a good time, eh?"

She chuckled and looked over at him once more. "Ooh, it's you." She bit her bottom lip. "I'll take very good care of you. Whiskey, right?"

"Double," he repeated.

"Why double when we share the bottle?" She swiped a couple bottle from the top and nodded her head towards the back. "I won't bite."

He closed his hand around the bottle, her fingers drifted down to the cuff of his shirt, and he met her eyes, smirking. "And if I want you to bite?"

"Ask where." She pulled him towards the back away from the crowd and the pulsing music.

– – –

Carol dressed herself for school, a sense of dread washing over her as she fastened her cross necklace around her neck, adjusting her mother's ring on her finger, and she looked over at the empty crib. Dad had taken Clay to Annette this morning, and Mom was driving them to school. She exhaled and steadied herself, adjusting her leggings. She had bought this just for this dress, and they were so cute with the black lace roses along her legs, and the booties Nana had given her two Christmas ago went perfectly. She felt...cute. She hoped her confidence would catch up.

She climbed the stairs, adjusting her backpack on her shoulder and collecting her phone from the coffee table. "I'm ready."

Lori flashed a grin at Carol's outfit. "You look awesome. I love it."

Karen stacked her files and smiled at her. "You both look beautiful. Now let's...um, go."

"You okay, Mom?" Carol fiddled with her keys, a macramé made itself of her insides, and she knew her mom felt the same way. "'Cause I can drive me and Lori, if you aren't ready."

Lori studied their mom. "Or I can lay out with you. I mean it. Not just for me trying to ditch. If you need me, I'm here."

"I'm fine. I just...having a slow morning."

Mom managed to get them to school, but the moment they were all out, Carol could sense panic overtaking her. She told Lori to go on ahead, but Lori refused. They would all be late, but Mom would be okay.

"Hey, girls, I got this." Sasha jogged over and set a hand on Karen's back. "Go to class. We have a meeting in the auditorium. I'll take care of her."

They nodded and headed inside, holding hands, and Lori looked back at their mother once more before hurrying inside to their homeroom.

"I...I can't. I can't do this." Karen's lungs felt closed, and she couldn't keep the world from spinning and spinning and throwing her off balance. "I can't."

"No one is forcing you, too." Sasha met her eyes. "Just breathe. I'm right here. Think of me like Ty, only smaller and a woman and you can't kiss me, but...yeah, that's it."

She giggled. "Oh, God." The giggle popped all the bubbles of apprehension in her lungs, the giggle erupted into deep-bellied laughter, evicting the rock on her stomach, and she fell to the ground, and Sasha was dragged with her. Tears wet her eyelashes, and suddenly she wasn't laughing anymore. Her knees had given out, and cold air flooded her lungs as her eyes looked over the gray hue of her school.

"Oh, God." It was a whisper on her lips, and she swallowed.

"I got you, Callies."

She chuckled softly and looked at her. "Ty ask you to have me?"

"Yeah, but I want to." She smiled at her. "C'mon, let's get some tea. I have a Keurig, and we don't need to attend a stupid meeting we already know what it's about."

"Thank you."

They walked to her office to have that tea, the students were lead to the auditorium by their home room teachers, and the vice principal lead Karen's class at Sasha's request, and they were in there for two hours. They discussed once more the lost and how they would honor them with a memorial to be painted by the art class. Flowers and gifts could be sent to the families, notes could be attached their old lockers, and so on. It felt like this would be the last time they openly spoken on the those who had died, and it upset the student body, but the principal had already moved onto the next segment.

There was a new security system in place. All the doors would automatically lock from the outside, and you had to get consent to enter via a camera and speaker outside the main building. They would be open the morning for the students, but throughout the day, they would be locked. Carol couldn't help but roll her eyes at this dumbass idea, and Michonne couldn't have agreed more. They wished they had an open mic, because fuck this!

He went on and on about increased security guards and this new system for about an hour, and no one was really listening. Carol asked her friends how they were doing, Andrea was blushing around a soft smile, and Michonne was trying to make her cut it out. Carol knew instantly what had happened and almost squealed. She wanted minor details, and Andrea promised to come over tonight to study and talk. Carol couldn't wait. She longed for things to return to normal, and she was about to ask Lori if she was going to join them, but Lori wasn't sitting beside her anymore. She frowned.

"Did she go find Rick?" Carol looked down at Michonne and Andrea. "Or the bathroom, maybe?"

"Who knows?" Michonne crossed her legs. "She's been avoiding us since...the third day of school, so I dunno."

"I thought you guys were talking." Lori said she was texting them all the time when Carol bugged her about who she was talking to. "Like the whole two weeks."

"No. I haven't heard from Lori since before the third day we got back." Andrea shifted in her seat. "Is she mad at us? Or...is it serious? Like Amy? I can get Dr. Holland to talk to her."

"No, no, I... I'll talk to her tonight." Carol pulled out a tight-lipped smile. "No worries."

"Or mega worries." Andrea eyed her. "You haven't heard from Daryl either, have you?"

"No." She shifted uncomfortably in her seat. "Not anything. He hasn't even come by the house."

Someone sat in Lori's seat, interrupting the conversation, and Carol was about to demand they move when Caesar flashed a winning smile. Carol still glared at his lying, fake ass, ad Caesar tried to apologize, but nope. He huffed and rolled his eyes, greeting the happy couple, who Carol asked not to speak to him.

"Oh, grow up. Let me be miserable and bitter." He flopped back in the seat and crossed his arms. "You're such a kid."

"You're an idiot."

"But they're happy, so who is this really hurting?"

"You, Caesar, and that's more than enough for you to say something. If not you, then me. Or Paul, you know, if you told him they were here." She eyed him. "Have you?"

"No, he has farm work and...I don't want to cause him issues."

"Coward."

"Well, as long as someone is happy then why not be a coward?" He rolled his eyes.

"You suffer so they won't? How does anyone win? Nothing gets resolved, and you stay hurting. It's still bullshit. You need to talk to them."

"I have to use the bathroom."

They were dismissed back to their classes at that exact moment, Carol was signing out early, and Karen didn't have an issue with it as long as she went to work, and Caesar caught her on her way out since she had no car. He offered to drive her.

"You haven't checked out." Carol eyed him. "And you like school."

"Yeah, well I like you not being pissed at me, and I like self-respect. I have little, so why the fuck not shred theirs?" He exhaled and hit his key fob on his palm. "Come with me."

"No. This is your fight. I have to get my car and do one more look through Daryl's apartment. Maybe I missed something."

"Please? Paul...is exhausted from working at the farm, and I can't deal with this alone. I'm a coward, remember?"

"You're not. I'm just mad."

"Then be mad and physically make me confront them."

"No."

"Fine." He inhaled. "I'll walk on my own two feet." He stuck his tongue out in disgust. "That is sour."

She giggled. "Okay, I'll come, but I am not speaking."

"I just need you to be a silent reminder that this is right. After this, I'll make a Carol statue and lean on it." He smiled at her. "I need to tell Paul about this."

"Yep." She nodded. "All of it. Like...right now 'cause he's walking over here."

"Ha ha. I'm already filled with nerves. Don't mess with me."

"She's not." Paul's voice made him jump, and Paul wasn't amused.

"I'll kick on that AC." Carol grabbed his keys and headed out to the start the car and avoid this heat.

"Paul." His heart climbed its way to his throat to make him never speak again.

"Is that all you have to say? Paul?" His eyes were narrow and guarded, and he studied his boyfriend very closely, taking in the sweat forming on his brow and the frequent gulps. He didn't like this reaction. "You haven't spoken to me in a week. One-word texts do not count. What the hell is going on?"

"Drugs?"

"Damn it, Caesar, don't make jokes right now. I could seriously think it is drugs." He unfolded his arms and stepped closer. "I am worried about you and our relationship. Do you...want out? Is that it? You'll avoid me until I break this off? Because that's bullshit."

"What?" His brain felt like a fat hamster smoking a buritto and watching the wheel to function rust and decay. He couldn't process his worlds, but his face was racing and riping at his throat. "What?"

"Okay, if you want to break up, this is it. Happy?" He scoffed and turned away. His Spanish class was the other way but fuck it.

"Wait, what?" Caesar exclaimed. "Hey, no!"

Paul turned. "No? No what?"

"No, you don't get to dump me and walk off." He stormed over to him. "You didn't let me speak."

"After four minutes of dead air, it's counts as speaking."

"I am...poor with stress and words, so give me a damn minute! Or five! I don't care. Let me process. I have a lot on my plate!"

"What is that lot? You haven't told me anything is even going on with you, and yet you and Carol are about to ditch school together? Didn't her boyfriend vanish two weeks ago? I mean, I see you with Clay, and I get how close friends can be, but if you want her...then end this. I don't like being played, and I don't like being jerked around. If you want to run off and be Daddy Caesar, then go on. Just don't leave me wondering."

"Hey, whoa, no. I love Carol, and I adore Clay, yes, but she loves Daryl. Daryl loves her. I love Daryl and wouldn't hurt him like that. I want you. I love you. I mean...so much is happening right now." He exhaled and leaned against a random car, pressing the heels of his hands to his temples and crouching down. "I feel sick."

"That would be the weeks of lying and going behind my back."

"I'm sorry." He dropped his hands and lifted his eyes. "My mom is back in town with a little sister I didn't know I had until three or so week ago. I... I can't process this, so I didn't tell anybody. I wanted them to come and go without affecting my everyday life. It's not working."

"Carol knows, so you're lying again."

"No, I didn't lie. Carol was there when they walked in, and Dad explained it to her. I... I can't confront her, Paul. I want to. God, I want to so bad that I hate myself for playing this stupid ass part, but I can't." His voice deepened an old wound began to bleed, and there was nothing to unveil but raw emotion. It reflected in his tone and stung in his eyes. "I don't want to know why she left me then...had Perrie and kept her. She told her about me, but she didn't even write me. Or call. Or anything. So why...wasn't I enough to try for? But talk about? Why am I expected to be a good brother when she failed as a good mother? Why?!"

Paul's anger was blotted out by the tears in his eyes, the strained anguish in his words, and he walked over to him, kneeling in front of him. He grasped the back of his neck, red rimmed eyes looked up, and he kissed him tenderly. He rested his forehead against Caesar's and rubbed the base of his neck with his thumb.

"You need to talk to me, you dummy."

"I don't want you to look at me like I'm a coward or like I'm weak. I can't...speak, so how brave can I really be?"

"I think you're brave, just...scared. It's a deep wound. I'd be scared too." He opened his eyes. "I'll go with you."

"Please."

"Maybe we can make up for lost time. Or I can meet your sister."

"Oh, God." His eyes opened. "She's gonna have a crush on you."

He laughed. "Why?"

"I showed her a picture by accident. The one of you in my uniform bottoms."

"I like that one." He smirked. "Maybe I can wear them again. Or we can just reenact the after."

"Do you want my dad to kill us?"

"Maybe."

He chuckled and snuffled. "Okay. Let's do this."

They found Carol in the backseat of the car, Caesar knew by that she knew he would be taking Paul to this confrontation, and he drove her to Daryl's. She stopped by the bakery to pick up some sweets her period wanted her desperately to have, and she wished them lucky silently.

Paul set a hand on Caesar's knee and squeezed it as he drove home, and Caesar smiled weakly, his heart leaving his throat, so his intestines could replace it. He wasn't sure he could handle this. His palms were sweating, his guts were in knots, and he would be shaking if driving didn't sooth him. He didn't know how he would face her—face them—after all this time. He wanted to be calm and collected, this icy badass who got answers and made them cry, but he wasn't calm or badass. He was just...there. He would be there with them and demand to know why. Leaving it to fester was worse than...whatever they had said, he told himself over and over. It had to be. It had to be.

Caesar saw both Sinna and Flo were there at the house, he laughed weakly and whined, Paul encouraged with a smile. He mustered his cojones and decided to damn this consternation building inside. He headed inside with Paul, lacing their fingers together, so at least one knot was in his control.

Sinna and Flo were in the kitchen, having some tea with heavy tension in the air, and Dad was just outside with Perrie. Caesar wanted to be physically ill, but Paul gripped his arm and reminded him it was okay. He nodded and cleared his throat.

"Oh, God." Flo rushed over to him and felt his forehead. "You look awful. You're burning up."

"Caesar?" Sinna lowered her cup of tea. "What's going on?"

"Huh?" Amaro heard his son's name and turned to find him and Paul, panic flooding him at the pallor of his son. "What happened now?" He was never sending him back to that school, he decided as he ran inside and gripped his shoulders, studying him. "Who do I have to kill? Or sue?"

"Dad, it's not... School's boring, but fine."

"Then why do you look so awful?" he demanded, studying him closely. "Wait, did you two...you know? Do you need a doctor?"

"Oh, my God, no!" Searing heat stained his cheeks and his ears, and he wanted to bury himself alive. Especially when Paul laughed.

"Well, now there's color." Flo giggled and kissed his forehead. "No fever, likely nerves. What's going on?"

"How long have you two been seeing each other?" Caesar blurted.

Amaro's eyes flashed with apprehension and astonishment then amusement and understanding. He released his son and looked at Flo, who nodded, and he exhaled. "About four years in December." He moistened his lips. "It wasn't intentional, I assure you. It... just happened over a business trip, and...it works. I had to keep it from you for reason you clearly understand, and... I planned to tell you tonight over dinner."

Flo laced her fingers through Amaro's fingers and moved to his side. "We're actually engaged, Caesar. With my divorce through, we got engaged."

"Whoa Nelly." Paul congratulated them. "That's...awesome. Really, good luck."

"It's not official just yet." Flo gripped his hand tightly. "We want your approval, and that's why tonight was so important."

"I told you he'd do something to beat us to the punch," Amaro beamed with pride. "Nothing gets by him. He's...brilliant."

"He is, but...does he approve?" Flo bit her bottom lip and began to plead her case. "I... love him, Caesar. I really do, and it has nothing to with money or—or the business. You know that, right? I mean, you'd have to know that to know we were together."

"No, I saw you two banging on the kitchen table."

Flo's face burned bright, and she buried her face in his father's shoulder. "Oh, my God."

"Uh—" Amaro sputtered. "W—when exactly?"

"Two years ago?" He pointed to the table end where they were. "I'd walked home from a birthday party, and you two were...yeah, I'm still recovering from the trauma."

"I'm so sorry." Flo was too mortified to look at his.

"You're the one who wanted breakfast," Amaro teased softly, smiling fondly at the woman trying to bury herself in his arm. "I offered to have the Ona come in."

"I wanted to make you breakfast, you rich prick." Flo glared at him. "You started it, and your son saw it. That isn't okay. God, you're such a... I'm sorry, Caesar. It won't happen again."

"It's cool. I eat at school now."

Amaro chuckled. "It won't happen again. I... I feel guilty. I set rules, and I broke them. It's fine for us, though, because it's my house, but...I didn't tell you. I have this entire relationship behind your back, and Flo will become your mother in a way. I should have been more open. I apologize."

"Dad, it's okay. I love Flo. She's... You're awesome. You make me soup when I'm sick. You took me to see fireworks for the New Year with the twins. We had hot fudge sundaes and... you wrapped us up in blankets, so we couldn't get cold." He was grinning at the rush of memories in his mind, and he realized something as he spoke. "You helped me pick out my first suit. You... you talked to me about girls. You came to my eighth-grade graduation. You brought me a candy bouquet."

Flo smiled with him. "You devoured it. I had to take you to the dentist afterward."

"Yeah, that sucked, though." He met her eyes. "You're the best, Flora. Really, you...were already being my mom, so this... this is okay. If you need or want my approval, you have it. Without a doubt."

"No one's called me Flora in... years." She blinked and embraced him. "Thank you, honey. I couldn't marry him without your approval."

"We'll be calling you Flora more often." Amaro had to break the habit. "It's a great name, lovely as you are, and Flo is old news."

"Hey, now." She released him and sent her fiancé a sharp glare. "It's an old nickname."

"Exactly." He chuckled, averting his eyes in fake shame only to meet her eyes once more and kiss her softly on the lips. "Will you wear the ring now, please?"

"Fine, but we have so much to work through." Flora inhaled. "This is going to disrupt everything."

"Good." Caesar beamed. "I'll help with the boys, if you need."

"I will." Her eyes rounded, and she gasped. "God, my mother is going to want to meet you both. She's so overbearing. Like Fran Fine from the Nanny's mother, only...smaller and less blonde."

"You're Jewish?" Caesar's eyes widened.

"Well...yeah." She nodded. "Is that a problem?"

"No! No, it's not a problem. I just didn't know. You had... I mean, it's cool. We can still do Christmas, right? Like do both. I'd love to learn all about it. I'm open to new cultures."

She snuffled and excused herself for a moment, Amaro smiled gently at his son, and Caesar hoped he hadn't hurt her feelings.

"She's had to repress a lot of who she is due to Ed, like her name and her religion, so this is...a lot for her. You said exactly the right thing." Amaro ruffled his hair. "I'm so glad to have this out. I couldn't keep it concealed much longer. It was giving me heart palpitations."

"You love her, right?" Caesar eyed him. "Because I love her, and if you hurt her, I'll kill you. Or at least punch you."

"If I hurt her, I'll let you." He looked at Paul and smirked. "Remind him of that."

"Sure thing." Paul nudged his rib as Sinna approached them.

"Well," Sinna rubbed her hands together and stood by her ex-husband, "that was unexpected."

"Some might say cliché," Amaro corrected.

"Some are right." Sinna released an exasperated sigh, lips pressed together in a tight and very faux congratulatory smile. "I'm happy for you. Congratulations, Amaro."

"Thank you, Sinna." He paused. "Oh, God, now I have two more boys deal with hormones with."

"And a little girl, Mr. M," Paul smirked.

"I should see a doctor about these palpitations." He inhaled carefully. "Madre de Dios."

"So dramatic." Flora rejoined them and wrapped an arm around his waist now that displays of affection didn't have to be carefully placed or hidden. "I'll call the doctor if you want."

"Maybe."

"So," Sinna cleared her throat, "we have a flight to catch, so we should get going."

"You were delaying it for a few more days," Amaro reminded her. "I want Flora to have a chance to get know our daughter."

"Well, our daughter needs to be back home for school."

"You can't be serious." Amaro narrowed his eyes. "She will be partly Flora's by the end of May next year, and I will visit. Hell, if you want to play this way, I will take you to court again."

Caesar's brows met. "Again?"

"Not now." Sinna cut a look to her ex. "She's my kid. I've had her all her life. You're not that big of a bastard."

"I can be. If you think you can bring her here and let me know her, let me love her, only to rip her out of my life again simply because I'm happy and about got married, you have another thing coming, Sinna." He released his hold on Flora and neared Sinna. "You didn't honestly think we would get back together, did you?"

"No, of course not. I just didn't think you'd hook up with the help." She inhaled deeply. "I have to get back to work as well. We can't all be wealthy and sit on our asses."

"I do a lot of my businesses, and you know that. If you want money, just ask, but I want her in my life. She wants me in her life, so stop being selfish and just name your price."

"You'd seriously sell Perrie?" Caesar eyed his mother. "Is that what you came to do?"

"No, it's not what I came to do. I wanted her to meet you, and I wanted...to see you again." Her eyes ran over her son. "You're so grown up now. I don't...think there's anything I recognize now."

"You... Wait, hold up. You wanted to see me? After eight years? After no letters or phone calls or reason why? After everything, you just wanted to drop by and see me?!" Caesar snapped, jerking forward, and Paul set a hand on his chest to try and contain the flames of his pent-up rage. "You...just walked out in the middle of my childhood without a goodbye, and you think you can just come back, and it's all good?!"

"Easy." Paul whispered into his ear. "Easy."

Sinna eyed the young man. "Who are you? This is clearly a private matter, so if you're a friend, I'll ask you to leave. I don't need someone else whispering into my son's ear."

"I am not your son!" Caesar erupted. "I am his son! I am... I am Perrie's brother, but I am not your son. For me to be your son, you would have had to have been there for me. Nurtured me when I was sick, helped me with my homework, kissed my bruises, saw me graduate, helped me pick out a suit and my first car! You did none of that. Dad and Ona and Pam and Flo did that! Not you, and Paul has more of a right to be in this house right now than you ever will!"

"You're gay then?" Sinna arched a brow. "I noticed you were holding hands, so you're homosexual?"

"I am bisexual," he corrected. "But I love Paul. I have sex with Paul. I trust Paul. And you don't get to make that face or make assumptions."

"Bisexuality isn't real," Sinna informed him. "It's a phase. You're just trying him out. Judging by what you said, you like it, so you're gay. And it's fine with me. I mean clearly the role of man of the house was never filled, so what else could I expect?"

"I hate you," Caesar seethed, and Paul gripped his shoulder to keep him from going after her. "I used to love you so much I felt hatred for myself, because I didn't know what I did to make you leave. To leave and never once look back. To never write or call or visit. I wondered what was so wrong with me. I wondered what...what did I say, or was I too much, or was I not enough. For years, I tortured myself with those questions and hated myself. I thought I ruined Dad's life. I thought I hurt you, but I was so wrong. I got it so backwards."

"Caesar." Amaro's heart fell at this confession, at the tears in his son's eyes, the helpless tone clinging to his words, and he felt guilt seeding into his broken heart. "Why didn't you tell me about this?" Why hadn't he noticed?

"Because I thought if I did, you'd leave to. I didn't know what I did to make her leave, so I didn't want to do it to you, too." His eyes lifted to his dad's when he stepped closer. "I couldn't be alone. I didn't want to be alone."

"I would never do that to you. You are my light, Caesar. You...have kept me going longer after my batteries had died. You and Flora and now Perrie are everything, mi amor. Never question my love and devotion for you. I am... always gonna be here for you, no matter where I am physically. My love and my heart are yours. All of yours." He looked over at Flora then back to Caesar. "Always, mi luz."

He began to sob, reverting to the ten-year-old boy who ran upstairs to ask his mom for pancakes only to find everything that was hers gone. The boy who sat on her side of the bed and waited and waited until Ona woke up him for lunch and explain that Mom had left.

"Oh, baby." Flora couldn't stand there and watch. She wrapped her arms around his back and kissed his hair. "I'm here for you, too, goofy. I love you so much. You and Daryl are my original sons. You know that. God, please know that."

Sinna watched them comfort her son, and she looked over at Paul who was glaring at her. "What, you have something to say?"

"Not to you." He looked over at the doorway to the little girl looking in on them with confusion. "Hi, Perrie."

"Paul!" She gasped. "You're real! Oh, my gosh!"

Caesar laughed in the middle of his breakdown at her excited voice, Amaro studied him, and Flora prepared him a cup of tea, sitting him down at the breakfast table. Amaro sat beside him and rubbed his arm as he cried gently now, and Paul bent down to introduce himself to Perrie formally, leaving Caesar to his parents.

"Here, it's lavender with a bit honey, like you like." Flora squeezed his shoulder. "It's cooled down. The water, anyway."

"Thanks." He rubbed his eyes and groaned. "I can't stop crying."

"It's okay. We have plenty of tissues." Flora plucked a box off the end table behind then and set them down in front of him. "And if this doesn't help, I'll make those lemon cookies you like with hot chocolate and whipped cream."

He snuffled. "Could you do that anyway, like...please?" He laughed pitifully, and Flora nodded with a chuckle. "Thanks, guys. God, I wish I had said something sooner. I feel so stupid."

"That's my fault." Sinna inhaled and approached them. "I didn't come back to hurt you. I needed to speak to Amaro about Perrie and my financial situation. I don't want handouts, but...I do need a favor. I'll get to that later, but...I owe you a hell of an apology, Caesar."

"I don't want it." He lifted his eyes to hers. "I thought I needed an explanation, but I don't. It's...cut clean, so you don't have to humor me."

"I'm not humoring you. I'm being honest. I... told your father not to make any contact with me. I wanted to be the one to reach out when I was ready, so he had no information on me. He had no way of even finding me despite all his contacts. I wanted to get lost, and I didn't think about how it might—and clearly did—impact you. I... loved you both very much, and I needed time to separate myself from that big love I felt. But...I was pregnant, so I couldn't separate anything." She lowered herself down into the chair across from her son. "I hated, too. I hated myself and Amaro. I even hated... But I got over it. I wanted to reach out to you the moment I found out you would have a sibling, but... I convinced myself not to."

"Why?"

"Because it would hurt more than it would help. To let you know I had a child, a sibling, you couldn't see? I couldn't hurt you like that, so I stayed away entirely to avoid the temptation, but...Amaro visits Greece, and I work for his brother, so...it wasn't much of a fight. Subconsciously I did want you both to know. I wanted to see you again. And yes, I did hope maybe we would patch things up, but...how many times can we walk down a broken road?" She inhaled deeply and looked at her son. "I don't care what your sexuality is, though I don't really get bisexuality, but that's my problem. You...seem happy, and I understand why. I'm glad you have...your parents."

"I wanted you," Caesar remarked. "And it's not...okay that you up and vanished, reason or not. I still have issues with it, but I'll get over it. I have people who won't up and vanish on me, and you're right. I did... I do have parents. I have friends. I have a boyfriend, and they love me. They take care of me. I'm happy here, and Perrie will be happy here, too."

Amaro blinked. "What? Did I miss something?"

"Her favor. She wants you to take care of Perrie while she saves money. It's not hard to figure out. Leaving others to take care of her kids is her thing." He stood up. "I'm getting over it, but I'm still bitter." He joined Paul and Perrie, taking them outside to the garden.

"He's right." Sinna leaned back in the chair. "I didn't know you'd have boys here, so I can make other arrange—"

"The boys will take the two rooms on the third floor with me and Amaro," Flora interrupted her. "Caesar and Perrie will be on the second floor with Ona. We have spare bedrooms, and it's okay for Perrie to be here. My boys are...good. They respect people's boundaries. They listen. They love people. They love movies."

Amaro wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled her down onto his lap. "You're straining my neck."

She rolled her eyes at his lie and shifted to face Sinna. "They're ten years old, and I've raised them well. Besides Ona will always be here. She'll be our in-live housekeeper, and I'll be here planning the wedding. He wants to try and run business without me for a couple weeks, which is hilarious."

"Hey, I'll do just fine."

"Sure." She continued. "I know it may be uncomfortable leaving your daughter with three strangers, but Amaro helped me raise those boys. Caesar is like a brother to them, and Perrie will be good for them. They want a little sister. They get so jealous Caesar has a sister, and Carol's not even blood."

She smiled softly. "Jealous, huh?"

"They're very protective, but they love Amaro, so they can't be protective of me with him. But Perrie? She'll have to bodyguards at all times." She tucked hair behind her ear. "And we're working on trying to have a girl—" she cut off, horrified she'd just blurted that out, and her cheeks lit up.

"You're trying to get pregnant?" Sinna exclaimed. "You're not even married!"

"We're not getting any younger," Amaro added. "And we want a baby that's ours. Girl or boy doesn't matter, but we were leaning towards a girl since we both had boys."

"Until now." She buried face in her hands. "I'm sorry. I forget how to shut up."

Sinna flew out of her chair and grabbed her hand. "Wait, this is your grandmother's ring?!" She glared at him. "Gilipollas Me dijiste que ella no quería separarse de ese anillo hasta su lecho de muerte. Sé que la vieja bruja todavía está viva y pateando, mentiroso hijo de puta!"

"Uhh, no. No, la abuela no quería que lo tuvieras. A ella nunca le gustaste. No puedo imaginar por qué." He rolled his eyes, a brow twitching at her accusation, and he wrapped his arms around Flora's waist. "She wanted my querida to have it. Just took me a few years to find her."

"I want to be flattered, but I took Latin high school," Flora commented.

"His grandmother gave him the family ring to give to you, and she told me she lost it. She was wearing it when told me she lost it." Sinna laughed helplessly. "My God, the woman hated me, didn't she?"

"Yes." Amaro nodded, ignoring how Flora scolded him. "In her defense, she was right."

She rolled her eyes now, and she smiled at Flora. "She must adore you to give you that ring. Take care of it, okay? Take care of them."

"I will. Of course, I will."

She stood up and smiled at Amaro. "Finalmente tienes algo bien con este. Buena suerte y adiós, cariño." She kissed his temple and headed outside to speak with Perrie.

"What was that?" Flora wondered what she'd said. "I know goodbye, but what was the rest?"

He smiled and kissed her shoulder. "She wished us luck, said I finally for it right."

She smiled faintly. "And the Perrie problem? Is she staying with us?"

"I have no idea, but I'll go find out. Why don't you start making those cookies? He'll hold a grudge for rest of the day if you don't, and I can use them as leverage to see he skipped school today."

"Be easy on him. It's been a very trying month."

"Yes, but now you can move in with me." He slid his hands underneath her blouse and kissed her neck, and she flushed at the memories of them right here at this table. "You and your boys, and you'll be right next to me every night."

"Do you want to try for a baby?" Flora tilted her head to the side to allow him more access to her throat, and she giggled when he nibbled under her ear, looking at him lovingly. "Well?"

"Well." He smiled at her. "My darling, mi amor, I want to have a baby with you, but only if you want this baby. With the boys and Perrie, it won't be easy, and we do have more help than a normal family, but it's your body. I'll respect whatever decision you come to."

"Stop with that. You know how that gets to me."

"Yes, consent and respected," he bitterly murmured. Fucking Ed. First his love then Carol. If he had known the depth of it, that man would be cursed and buried.

"Hey, come back to me." She brushed her knuckles along his jawline. "Come back to me."

"I'm sorry. I guess Caesar isn't the only one with hate to let go of."

"Let's go join them." She kissed his nose. "Then we can work on that baby. I can always alter my dress. Once I find one."

He grinned and lifted her up, she squealed and found herself in his arms, and she glared. "What, it's practice."

"Put me down, please. I don't like being held above the ground."

He gently set her on the ground and cupped her cheek. "How I kept how much I love you invisible for so long is beyond me."

"Well, we did abuse your office furnishings a lot." She smirked, and he laughed. "Besides...we had to for the businesses, and I'll be looking for my replacement."

"What? No."

"What? Yes. I can't be your wife and your assistant. I'll help you all the same, but some other woman or man will be there for you in that way. It's only fair."

"Will you still bring me lunch?"

"We're trying for a baby, so yes I'll bring you lunch."

He grinned once more. "God, this year..."

"Yeah, it's been...a doosey." She giggled and stepped back towards the door. "I'm gonna go meet my future daughter."

"Wait for me, mi amor."

"Keep up, mi amor." She ran her tongue over her bottom lip at the arousal in his eyes at her aping his tone. "What?"

"You will be doing that again—later and in private." He wrapped an arm around her. "But definitely later."

She smiled and laced her fingers through his at her side, falling into step to find Perrie, Caesar and the others in the garden, love filling her as they continued onward. Ever onward.

– – –

Carol used the key Amaro had made her to unlock the door to Daryl's apartment, setting the cheesecake bars and other treats on the coffee table and setting her purse down to begin her search anew. Her eyes instead fell to another purse on the couch, and her heart stopped at clothing littering the hall. She gripped her stomach and dared to walk forward to see...who was there.

She heard groaning, and it was familiar, her stomach churned at the sound of Paula's voice. She couldn't believe that was really her after all these months, but her voice was clear. She felt an urge to roll up in there and punch Paula right in the fucking face, but there was more to her tone. It wasn't like sexy groaning, but...annoyed? Pissed off? What the hell?

She opened the door to find Paula stripping a barely conscious Daryl, and she stared, a small gasp escaping her lungs. She was worried she'd just walked in on Paula attempting to assault her boyfriend, because she was obsessive and would probably do this.

"Oh, hey, thank God." She let him fall back onto the bed and waved. "Hey."

"What the hell is going on in here?" she demanded.

"Oh, so this looks bad, right?" She stepped away from the bed. "I swear it isn't. Trust me. I can so explain. I didn't even mean to find him or come across him. I was doing research for a paper I'm writing on drugs in nightclubs, and he was in Sanctuary, you know that trashy place downtown? Yeah, he was there."

"I'm sorry, but I need a backstory here. What the fuck, Paula?"

"Okay, so, why don't I make you some tea? You look stressed." She could tell Carol wanted to jack her jaw, not drink tea, and she groaned. "Fine, so I was down in the grime doing research, and I found your idiot here..."

––

 _"Hey, Meeko." She flashed a flirtatious smirk him, and he peeked at her over the glass he was cleaning. "I know you remember me."_

 _"Yeah, I remember you." He set the cup down. "You slept with my cousin, broke his heart."_

 _"He slept with me," Paula retorted. "And he doesn't have a heart. He's an asshole, so what now?"_

 _He chuckled and nodded in agreement with her statement. "What do you want?"_

 _"An interview. I have some questions."_

 _"You a cop, a reporter?" He narrowed his eyes._

 _"Just a college kid who is willing to do anything for an A." She leaned more the bar, the corset she wore pushing out her breasts even more, and his eyes drank them in. "So, help me out?"_

 _"You thirsty?" He waved behind him. "I mean non-alcoholic. I have sodas and water."_

 _"I'll take a club soda with a lime wedge."_

 _"You'll take it back here." He grabbed her drink and nodded his head towards the back. "C'mon."_

 _She collected her purse and followed him, passing Mareena and Ali on the way, and he guided her into his empty room, locking the door and setting her drink down. She set her bag on the bed and faced him and he drank her in._

 _"So, school report?" He wrapped his arms around her waist. "You finally enrolled in college now?"_

 _"I am. It's part of my minor—this paper—and I really need a good grade on it. Think you can help me out?"_

 _He chuckled and unfastened the corset skillfully. "I think I can do a lot of things to you."_

 _She shared his chuckle. "To me? Well, sir, that isn't what I need."_

 _"Shut up and kiss me, sexy." He crushed his mouth against hers, she wrapped her arms around his neck and reached under his shirt to push it up and off his shoulders. He broke the kiss to remove it and set it carefully on the coffee table, guiding her backwards towards the bed. "This thing come off?"_

 _She giggled and kissed him. "It does. Hang on." She stepped aside and lifted her arm. "A zipper, think you can handle it?"_

 _He smirked and kissed her cheek, she laughed, and he yanked her zipper down. "I am gonna get you back for that sassy ass mouth of yours."_

 _"Please do." She pushed the dress down and stood before him almost entirely nude with crotchless panties, and he guided her carefully down onto the bed._

 _After a long reunion romp and a playful half interview, half continued romp, Paul dressed and headed out to type up her report. Meeko held her close and kissed her neck until they were back in the club then he smacked her ass and told her to come back soon. She rolled her eyes and flipped him off before heading out the side door._

 _She jumped at the sound of glass shattering on brick and found Daryl tossing empty bottles at the wall. She frowned and drew closer to see what the hell was going on. "Oh, fuck me." She saw he was high off his ass and by the stagger, he was drunk too. This wasn't how she wanted her night to end. Fucking Dixons._

– – –

"You slept with a bartender for a school report?" Carol frowned.

"No, I slept with my boyfriend and got his help on a school report." She had changed out of her dress and into shorts and a hoodie. "Meeko is a good guy. He wants to be a cop. I think he is a narc cop, but he won't confirm it or deny it. He's just too smart to not be something, you know?"

"How the hell are you dating a narc cop?"

"We met at Sanctuary over drinks, we liked each other, and I asked him out. He got really weird about it, told me there were some conditions to dating him, and I'm sure I saw him talking to the pin on his badge. He's not crazy. Trust me, I've done crazy, and he's...sweet. He sent me flowers on my birthday, and he makes love to me. It's nice. Plus, he's completely delicious, and his dick is—"

"Okay! Enough sharing." She pointed to her boyfriend. "He's drunk? _And_ high?

"Oh, definitely. He thought I was you. He tried to kiss me. He told me he loved me. It got super weird." She hugged her arms. "He...uh, told you he loves you yet?"

"Yeah, we did the I love yous." She smiled softly. "Why?"

"Good, it'd suck if you heard it from me for the first time. I mean, it's me. That'd suck." She looked back at him. "I have to go type my report and meet Meeko for coffee, but you have fun with that. He's very handsy, and I lost an earring, so if you find a little pearl shaped diamond earring, it's mine. It was graduation gift. Please, call me and return it. I put my number on his arm in case I lost him on the way to the car."

"This is weird for me, so don't hold it against me if I don't."

"Life is shit. It keeps throwing things back in my face, too, dude, so goodbye. I seriously gotta move." She collected her backpack and paused. "Keep him on his side in case he barfs. He could choke."

She nodded. "Thank you for bringing him home."

"He did it for me once." She shrugged. "We're square. But my earring, please? If you find it."

"Maybe."

"All right." She waved awkwardly and departed without a backwards glance.

Carol dragged her hands through her hair and faced her half-dressed, smelly, boyfriend, hearing a gagging sound. She gasped and ran to him, rolling him over in case he was trying to puke, and she groaned when he did. In his sleep all over his blankets, and she cringed as he continued to puke up very colorful things.

While he barfed, she changed into one of his sleeveless shirts and into a spare part of her shorts that were left here. She filled the tub with water and stripped him, not taking any of his shit. He was fighting her so damn hard, and he said he had a girlfriend. She would have thought it was endearing were she not his girlfriend and trying to help his smelly, inebriated ass. She was so angry with him, and she didn't have the patience to care his struggles.

She helped to the tub and filled it with warm water, scrubbing his hair and hearing him moan softly. Her anger ebbed away at him enjoying his little bath, and she smiled to herself, cleaning him up and rinsing him off. She let him soak in warm, clean water and washed his bedding, glad it hadn't stained through the mattress. She did have to throw away the top blanket that held all the chunks and bits, because no. She didn't even like cleaning up Clay's pukey/poopy bedding, and that was her son, so she sure as hell wasn't doing it for her asshole boyfriend.

She found him passed out cold in the tub in lukewarm water, so she slapped some cold water on his face, and he jolted awake, ready for a fight. She giggled at his reaction, his eyes moved to the sound, and for a moment she thought he was a little sober, but he only drifted off once more.

She spent thirty minute half-carrying, half-dragging and low key willing him back to the bedroom. She flopped him on his belly, setting a trash can be his head for any more puke, and she tossed a spare towel over his bare ass. Her eyes drifted upward to the scars and tattoos marring his back, and she frowned, climbing onto the bed and getting a closer look.

 _He'd...he'd throw anything in reach at us. Beer bottles, his bowl, his bourbon bottles, his shoes, this ugly ass ashtray he bought—just anythin'._

Her mouth ran bone dry as her fingertips pushed beads out of the way and over the lightly grooved marks all over his back. She couldn't count them once she'd hit the double digits, and her heart broke, imagining him as a confused little boy who was growing into a confused man, bruises and cuts fading to scars but always just under the surface.

"When you are sober, we are talking about this." Until she had to get to work, but she would be back for him. "You are an asshole, by the way." She swung off the bed and changed back into her clothes, heading out work and drying her eyes. The last things she wanted was someone questioning why she was crying, because this was a mess she had no right to expose.

She worked her shift with a wide smile and an ease of answer questions, Hershel was happy to see her so down with the process and loving the guests and their animals. She was a natural with customer service, and no one here was ever foul, so Carol only got more and more chipper. Hershel was worried as he watched closely, and she could see her hands were shaking behind the counter, her legs shifted as she moved her weight form leg to leg, restlessly. There was a falter in her smile every time a new guest came over to either check in, and he asked Maggie to watch the front.

"I'm fine. My break's not for another ten minutes." She checked her watch to be sure.

"It's not up to us. Daddy wants to talk to you."

She rolled her bottom lip between her teeth and nodded, stepping back and going to his office to see what he wanted. She was motioned to sit without a glance upward or a word, and she sat down, resting her hands in her lap and clearing her dry throat.

"Is there...a problem?" Her heart was so anxious it was calm, though her palm moistened, and her leg was bouncing uncontrollably.

"A little one." He lifted his eyes. "What's going on with you today? Don't try and fool me, Carol. I have three girls and two boys at home. I know the act, so please, don't insult me."

She nodded. "My...uh, boyfriend...um, you know him, right?"

"Daryl Dixon?" He nodded. "Seems like a nice young man. He always ensures I get a good roast."

"He _is_ a nice guy, but he's going through a... rough patch, and I'm worried about him. I'm sorry. I shouldn't let it show at work. I'll do better to...maintain professionalism."

"Carol, this is a part-time receptionist job. I'm not asking you for much. Legally, I can't, but that's not the point here." She laughed weakly, and he smiled. "Look, Mag wants to close up tonight, so why don't you just clock out, get your boy and go see your boyfriend? There's only a few more hours in your shift, and Annette will be up here in thirty minutes to pick up a roast."

"But...I kinda need the money."

"I'll add a few more hours on this weekend to make up for this. How does that sound?"

She slowly nodded. "Thank you."

"Thank Maggie. She really wants to see that boy tonight." He winked at her questioning stare, and he returned to his paperwork. "Finish up your shift until Annette arrives if you'd like."

"Thanks."

She did just that and nothing more, Maggie assured her she had lock up tonight, and Annette brought him Clay. Carol was so relieved to see him and held him close, kissing his forehead and accepting the bag from Annette with a smile and a thank you. She clocked out and headed over to the meat shop. She spotted Amaro and Flo inside—holding hands and announcing something to the staff. She entered and saw Caesar and Paul with a little girl in Caesar's arms.

"...so, for the next six months, Pam will be keeping an eye on you for me. I will try to perform monthly or bi-monthly work reviews. That being said, if you are due a raise, I will make time to discuss that with you. But for now I have to focus on my family." He smiled thoughtfully at his children then to his love. "But know that come...April?"

"Or the first week of May," Flora added.

"Flora and I will be married, and then we will be leaving for Greece for a year." He bit his bottom lip, but Caesar nodded him on. "My son will be looking in on you while I am away. I trust there's no problem with that?"

The staff shook their heads or gave a verb no/nope/nada, and Amaro's aura dripped with relief. He exhaled deeply and felt someone behind him, and he turned, grinning widely at Carol and Clay, and Flora followed his smile.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to interrupt."

"It's not interruption. Just some announcements. I won't be here as often, because I'm taking in my daughter for the rest of this year, and I need to begin an outline on how to support my brother's business. I'd like you to relay this to Daryl. I...saw him earlier when I went to collect rent." Disappointment took up residency in his eyes, and e dropped them briefly to the floor. "He's invited to the wedding, too. I'd like him to be there."

"Of course."

"And you, too." He lifted his eyes and beamed at her. "You and Clay, obviously. I... You're family, so please come."

"I wouldn't miss it." She returned his smile. "Right, buddy?"

"Rraara," Clay babbled.

Amaro chuckled. "Good. I have to sign off on the shipment, but why don't you take Perrie to the car? Our reservations are in an hour."

"Right." Flora nodded and collected the girl from Caesar, and Perrie happily chatted away to her future stepmother. Flora said goodbye to Carol and Clay and headed to the car.

"Hey, guess what?"

Carol nearly jumped at close Caesar was to her, and she lightly punched his shoulder. "What?"

"Daryl's in deep shit, and if he isn't sober and down here tomorrow, he's fired." He crossed his arms and tried to explain how it wasn't his decision. "Dad is strict on...drugs and drinking, and Daryl swore he'd stopped. He broke a promise, and Dad takes that serious, so...please, help that jackass solve his issues."

She nodded. "I'm surprised he still has a job."

"That's because of how long he'd worked here. Dad respects all the work he'd put into this shop, but respect can only go so far. If he's backsliding, he's done, and Dad won't give him a second chance. And if the drugs keep up, he'll evict him."

"Okay, I get it. It's all bad. I'll talk to him, but I honestly don't know what is going on with him. He may just say fuck it. I... I'm scared about his answers, Caesar."

"Well, you gotta get 'em, right?" He searched her eyes. "Good luck. And if you need me or if he is asshole to you, call me. I'll set him straight."

She nodded again. "I'm hoping Clay helps with this."

"Yes, guilt trip! That's perfect."

"Not the angle I'm going to use, but okay. I just need to get some beef, but I'll talk to you later."

"You want me to get it for you?"

"No, because you'll do that and not charge me. It's okay. I can afford it. Besides I'm using Daryl's card."

He smirked. "I'll call you later. Take care, okay? Again, you need me, I'm there."

"I know." She offered him a one-armed hug, Clay patted his shoulder, and he kissed his hair before leaving to catch up to Flora and Perrie. "Hey, Paul. How's the family?"

"Grounding me for ditching school." He tucked his phone into his pocket and pinched Clay's cheek. "I have to report to my uncle, so excuse me. I'll see you at school."

"Bye."

"Oh, here." He handed her a gift card. "It's from Hershel. I mean to give it to you at school. It's for you quick understanding and compassion. It's a monthly award he makes up and gives out. It's only twenty-five bucks, but that's a pack of diapers, right? Maybe two? I have no clue, but diaper cost more than that, I'm never having kids."

"Thank you." She laughed and hugged him goodbye.

Paul departed from the shop, Carol placed her order and was given a free sample of Amaro's new seasoning, Pam assured her Clay could even eat it. She thanked her and headed over to Daryl's. She knocked on the door since he was up and about now, and he opened the door.

He had dressed himself, but he looked like utter, microwaved shit. His skin tone had dropped several hues, his eyes were bloodshot, his lips cracked and dry, and he looked about ten pounds lighter in clean clothes.

"Carol." He couldn't meet her eyes. "Hey, buddy."

Clay went insane at the sight of his father, reaching for him and exultantly chattering away. Daryl smiled and held him close, stepping side to let Carol inside, and he fell back onto the couch. Carol put the meat away and heard him crying. She closed the fridge and took in as much as air her lungs could hold before releasing it and joining him in the living room. She sat down on the coffee table.

"I'm sorry." He lifted his head and met her eyes, the tears unyielding, unending as he confessed. "I'm so sorry. I don't... I'm sorry."

"Are you?" She held back her urge to console him. He wasn't a child. He broke promises. He wasn't owed comfort for an apology he may not mean. Beside Clay was already hugging him. "Because you up and vanished for two weeks, and I thought...you left to clear your head. I thought you'd be back, and you'd have some new understanding. I didn't think once you were back to your old ways, drinking and doing whatever the hell drugs you were doing."

His lips quivered, and he snuffled, holding Clay closer and not speaking.

"You have been sober for over a year, and then you just jump back in? Because of some stupid comment Lori made? Yeah, she told us about it, and you should have come to me about it. Or Mom. Or Dad. God, we would have proven a million ways over how wrong and ignorant that comment was! Clearly, you need the outside support, because your mind is piece of shit! You just left us, Daryl. Do you know how worried we've been? Do you have any idea how...how much...we love you? God, you need to trust us and come to us, not run off and relapse!"

"You don't get it." He looked down at Clay and inhaled. "Lori's comment was so much more than words, and you don't get that. You couldn't get that."

"Then you should have explained it to me instead of running off!"

"Carol, if Lori—if Lori who has known me over a year can look at me and assume for even one second I was a shooter, what chance do I really have of ever...getting out of the Dixon rep? Shit, it wasn't just Lori, and it wasn't just then. Since Merle was arrested...people treat me like I'm a threat. People who don't matter, people who do matter—they all look at me like I'm dangerous. Like I'm gonna beat them bloody if they look at me wrong. Hell, you've given me that look, too."

"Not since the beginning, before I knew you. Don't add me to that list, because ever since we started our relationship, I have looked at you in no other way but with love."

"People expect me to be a druggie, be a drunk, so why not? No one's ever gonna want my help as a lawyer, so fuck it. Why not just fuck it? It'll make my life easier, and...no one is disappointed." He wiped drool off Clay's chin and rubbed it in his jeans, adjusting the boy on his knee and refusing to look at her. "I'm dog shit, Carol. Always will be."

"You are so infuriating, that is what you are." She stood up and walked around the table to allow her lungs full capacity to go the fuck of on him. "You are loved! You are thought of as a good person and a good man! You are nothing like Merle or Will, no matter how much you try and fit their shoes. You aren't them. You are good and sweet and thoughtful. The teenagers we go to school with were scared that day, and on most days, they are so vacuous it hurts my brain to think about it. We're kids, Daryl. We make mistakes. We misjudge people. We don't have a right to force any one person to fit some bullshit box we made for them! And you shouldn't give in to a bunch of loser lowerclassmen who don't know you! God damn it, Daryl, you are so blind by these negative comments you don't see all the positive ones."

He chewed on his bottom lip and dared himself to look at her.

"Amaro and Flo and—and friggin' _Hershel_ know you as a nice, good young man. Amaro has so much respect for you and love for you. You are like a second or fourth son to Flo! Caesar loves you like a brother, and my parents. God, Dad has been stressing out about you for two weeks, because he loves you. Mom is the same, and Lori knows she made a mistake in her thinking. She is sorry, and I... I have been out of my mind with worry." She set a hand over her stomach and snuffled. "I love you. I am in love with you, and I can't do this anymore. You need help. I need help. But we can't do this alone, and I can't be with you if you run off to booze and drugs every time someone tries to stereotype you."

"You... you're breaking up with me?" His heart stopped cold, and he shot off the couch. "Wait, no, please."

"No. No, I'm done waiting. Clay has been so upset without you. Do you know how unfair your behavior has been to him? You're his dad, and he adores you, but you've been gone. He doesn't understand why, and honestly, I'm not sure you even know why."

"I'll do better. I'll make it up to him and to you, but don't. Please, don't break up with me. Carol, I... I love you."

"I know you do, but love isn't all that makes a relationship work. We both need help outside of this relationship, and I don't think we can be together again until we've...worked our issues out." She stepped back from him. "Can you even assure me you didn't sleep with someone else? Can you?"

He tried to think back, but it was all black. After the whiskey and the pills, he couldn't summon any memories. It was just loud and made his ears throb. "But I wouldn't."

"You went back to old habits, and burying your problems in between someone girl's thighs is your number one go-to, right?"

"I wouldn't do that to you."

"I'm sorry, but I thought you were done drinking, too, so I don't believe that." She folded her arms across her chest. "Andrea has a family doctor who is really great with trauma. Her name is Dr. Piper Holland, and she has an opening tomorrow morning at eleven. She's cut her cost down, and Dad's willing to help cover it with our insurance."

"And then what?"

"You expose your scars and you heal." She met his eyes. "I'm going back to Denise, because I'm not okay. I repressed it. I just wanted to get back to being a teenager, so I repressed it, and that's not helping me in the long term, so I'm going back. I see her on Monday."

"How is this gonna help me?"

"If you want to be happy—actually happy—then you'll go."

"I am happy," he shot back. "With you and Clay, I'm happy! I don't need some uppity bitch tellin' me why I am how I am. I fuckin' know why."

"Well, you don't look very happy right now, and I'm not happy. I'm miserable with you, Daryl. I love you, but you hurt me. You keep hurting me, and I can't watch you throw yourself away. How many chances do you think you get in life? Honestly, this could be the last time. We are only trying to help you."

"By dumpin' me and leavin' me alone? Yeah, so much help."

"Dad wants you to stay with us until Dr. Holland is certain you can on your own. Or until we get Merle out, which we are still working on." She dropped her hands from her stomach and wrapped them around herself loosely. "He wants to be sure you don't wander off and do this again. He needs to be sure you're okay. Just like I need that."

"I ain't doin't that. I like my space. I like my apartment. I'll be fine on my own."

"If you don't do this, Amaro will evict you and fire you. So no apartment. No income. No where to hide. We can't baby you anymore. You have so much to work through, and you think the small gaps of happiness are enough, but they aren't. You deserve to be truly happy. Please, just one session with Holland? For your son's sake?"

"If I do this...are we even still gonna be together?"

She smiled thoughtfully. "I love you, Daryl, and I want to say yes, but... we need some space as a couple to fix ourselves as individuals. I want us to be together, and maybe along the line through therapy, we'll be restored enough to be together, but...for now, we'll just be you and me apart. As friends and parents."

"So...you can date other people durin' that time?" he whispered.

"No, I am still exclusively yours." She closed the space between them and brushed hair from his eyes. "I am always yours, but for us to have any hope of a future together, we need to use time apart to better oursevles."

He rested his forehead on hers. "I keep gettin' you back and losin' you."

"I know." She set her hands on his cheeks and closed her eyes. "And I want to be worth all of that lose, so I need to continue with Denise. And you need to speak to Holland. If you want us to have a real chance, please, please see her. Be honest with her. I know it'll hurt, but it'll get better. I promise."

She felt his tears drip down onto her eyelids, and she pulled him into a hug. He buried his face in her shoulder, Clay smacked their arms playfully, and Carol tried to smile against the anguish in her chest. She kissed his hair, and he said he'd do it. He'd speak to Holland.

"You mean that?" She pulled back enough to see his eyes.

"Yeah." He nodded. "You and Clay deserve better than who I am now, so yeah."

"No, silly," she stroked his cheeks, "you deserve to better and whole and healed for _your_ sake."

He kissed her, she pushed up on the tips of her toes and wrapped her arms around his shoulders, and the kiss was wet and warm from the tears and love they shared. The road to peace wasn't easy, but it would be worth it. Bad habits became old habits became no more.

And as for them? They were forever, souls bound together in any universe, and they would always come back to each other. Healed. Whole. Loved. Together. Always.


End file.
